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I have a story and it ain’t a good one.

So it started a long time ago, at 12pm yesterday, I was just face timing my friends at lunch and talking about how we were given a ‘screen free’ day off on Monday, and of course we are all excited for this even though there was fuck all to do. But then BOMB I got an email from my teacher reminding us ‘so even though it is a day off on Monday, the people in my history class still need to do there exam. Thank you’. Literally all it sounded like to me was ‘hey you unimportant piles of shit, you know that mental health day on Monday? Yeah, well you don’t matter that much to us anyways so just still do the test. I hate you all and I hope you have the worst weekend.’ Like I really did not appreciate that. The literal proof that I NEED a mental health day is that I am literally going to see my counselor on that day. I mean hello? Do you need me to spell it out for you. It is last period as well so it isn’t like I can get it done and over with.

So of course I told the mum and was like ‘guess what bitch’ and she was like ‘what’ and I was like ‘you ain’t gonna believe it’ and she was like ‘just fucking tell me already’ and I was like ‘I have work to do on the day we have off’. And then she said ‘I’m gonna call the school and complain’ and then I was like ‘don’t do it girl’ because the teacher hates me enough already and my mum was like ‘I’m not gonna do it girl, I was only thinkin’ about it’. But then I see her calling the school and she was like ‘I did it’. Or at least it was along those lines. To say I was scundered would be an understatement. I was digging my grave already. But yeah that happened.

Then later on they sent out an email to all the parents confirming that ‘this is a day off school because we all need a mental health break during these troubling times. We want to make sure everyone is OK and keeping well, APART FROM a select group of people who are doing a test that day even though they could be easily moved to another but we just don’t care about them enough to give a shit. Goodnight lol :)’ My mum was not having it and neither was I to be honest, like they can’t abuse the power or google classroom and make me work on a day off. If you have seen my last post, this is one of the techniques and is it working? Um yes.

But what this has to do with the title is that society gives out so many mixed signals like ‘follow this trend’ but ‘be yourself’. ‘Try this new diet’ but ‘you are perfect and you shouldn’t change’. Like it is so dumb and I can’t keep up. And know this situation is happening where they are like ‘you are loved and we care about you’ but ‘only some of you. The others can go fuck themselves, here is a test that will go towards your GCSE’. Like did I miss the memo where it said ‘nobody cares about you’ because I would of at least wanted to know. I think the world needs to make up their mind because I know my brain is gonna go for the wrong one. It already has and I don’t want that to happen to anyone else.

But I guess that can work in our favor some times because we can see that no matter what we do someone is gonna have something to say, and no matter what you do someone is gonna support you. And it is when you do what you want that you find the people you shouldn’t be with and the people who you should. So I mean I guess that is a good thing because it is always easier said than done. There are gonna be people who want you to fail but they are just angry because you are being who you want to be and they just don’t have the strength to be themselves as well. I mean if everyone is who they are supposed to be then why would anyone give people shit for who they are because we all have the chance to be happy and unique.

What I recommend and will try to start doing myself is to create a third path, not just ‘do this’ or ‘do that’ but add in an ‘me’ option. I can see they are there and I can still choose those paths but I know that they aren’t me and they are the wrong decision. It is gonna be a damn scary path but the thing is, other people are gonna be at the end and I am gonna get on so well with them. I can be myself, make great friends, understand each other. It will be great and I hope you enjoy it too.

Thank you so much for reading this and I hoped this helped you to know that other people are just as confused as you are right now. There are so many new things that we think we need to have or do and it is so hard to keep track but I’ll make it all understandable. You aren’t gonna like it but… do what makes you happy.

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