LOL, do you know what is a coincidence. The fact that ‘he who shall not be named’ from Harry Potter and ‘the holiday who shall not be named’ from… this post, both start with the letter ‘v’. Can you guess what it is yet? Damn, seriously, OK well today is the 7th of February, and the holiday is one week from now. Oh my, you still don’t get it. It is valentines day. And just for a bit of background, this is my first valentines alone after 2 or 3 years with being with someone and to be fair I am actually happy about it, so you can probably tell what that relationship was like. Anyways, I kind of just wanted to talk about why it is good to be alone again this year in the perspective of a first time single on Valentines.
Right, so during February you have only just recovered from the financial burden of Christmas, until BOOM, here comes valentines. I suppose it is different depending one what you do, but usually people get gifts for the other person and then you go out for dinner, which is always more expensive. I mean if you are by yourself on valentines, you can save that money, or better yet, spend it on you. You can buy all of the valentines chocolate without anyone suspecting a thing. I mean the plan is full proof. And you won’t have drown in more debt for a while. You can just look out at all the couples and laugh at how their pockets hurt. I mean why waste it on someone else when you can spend it on the most important person in your life, YOU. Who could be arsed to spend £20 on a starter and £50 on a dress or new clothes that you are only going to wear once. I mean this valentines when I went to Tescos I panicked for a second and then was like ‘fuck yeah! That ain’t my problem any more’. Although somehow I am still broke.
LOL I remember I would spend so much time trying to pick out gifts for this person and where we would go, what we would do. I mean it took me so long to pick out what to wear and putting my makeup on. Up until the 14th I would be thinking non stop about it, not in a good way though, I mean like in a worrying way. I always worried about how it would turn out, how I would look, if he liked the gift, what I would say. Mostly bad things. But now I can focus on myself more which is good because you know the saying ‘if you can’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else’ and I mean I suppose it is true. I think that I am just happy that I don’t have to act different. I know that if you are in a healthy relationship, you wouldn’t have to do that, but for me I did which as so exhausting and I am happy to just be by myself and not have to put so much of my attention to another person.
Nah look, this isn’t about the money side of the gift, this is about actually getting a gift. I mean if you go out with a guy, what the fuck are you supposed to buy for them?! Why are they so bloody hard to buy for?! I mean for a girl they will like anything, a bracelet, flowers, a necklace, anything. But in shops they never having anything for the guys and you can’t really think of anything sentimental. My friend has gotten into a relationship (I know, Lord save her sole) and she was like ‘I’m not sure what to get him? What did you used to buy’. I looked at her like bitch I ain’t gotta clue. I was laughing and that is when I realised that I am so fucking happy not to have that problem anymore. I mean I was close to having to end up buying the person a lip-balm or something because I mean damn, there really is nothing to buy a guy.
OK, everyone needs to get this into their head. Valentines day is about spending time with the ones you love. I mean I know it is recognized for the day for couples, but lets change this. I mean couples should have that same energy everyday anyways, but lets bring friends into this. Making it a time for just celebrating relationships in general. Friendships, relationship with yourself, anything I suppose. It is so easy to bully yourself about being single again but what does that matter. I mean you weren’t put on this earth to fall in love with someone, someone who may break your heart one day. Just go out with the ones you know will stay with you forever, no matter what comes along. I mean you need to focus on what means more to you. A life long friendship or an Instagram photo to make others jealous.
Over all, I just want to get across that being single on valentines day isn’t a bad thing and you definitely should not find someone just to have a date on valentines, because trust me, a bad relationship is not worth it. Save this time for you and when you find the one, it wont be such a struggle. When you find the one it will be so easy to talk to them, to hang out with them, to love them. There is no point of losing your dignity just for a picture that you will most likely delete in the future. Nobody should come before yourself and you need to realize that before you start dating. Nobody is judging you for being single. I know I don’t. This year is gonna be a bit different for me but I am excited to at least be happier on this holiday. Not all relationships are easy so be happy you aren’t in one. Take this time for you and just remember, this is only one day with a name on it. It doesn’t really mean anything except there are hearts everywhere. Get some chocolates, put on a face mask, watch whatever movie you want because you ain’t got nobody to please. You do you boo.
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