I Actually Told Someone This

I have a story that I really regret and I need to get this off my chest. The things I said completely ruined this girls life.

Every day, from the moment I woke up, I would target this girl. I had know her for my whole life and I don’t know why, just one day I treated her like crap. I would constantly be in her face saying things like ‘you are so fat’ and ‘you are worthless and someday someone is going to discover this and you will be shunned from society’. I know this sound so horrible and I did this for so long. She ended up having bad mental health, she went to hospital for a while but I never really stopped saying these things for her. I would literally say that this at least made her valid as a person because she would have a good back story, that is what made me keep doing it. Whenever I saw her being slightly happy I would always knock her down. No matter where she was or who she was with I would beat her down with my words. Do you know what the best thing was? She never told anyone about it. Not a soul. She didn’t even show it in her face. Nobody would be able to tell. I have done these things to this girl for so many years now, and still to this day I do the same thing. Out of respect I have to mention who this person is. I did get their permission so don’t worry. The girl who I would mentally abuse everyday for many years was… me.

Before you start to think I am looking for a massive reaction and a bunch of attention, I just wanted to put into perspective what so many of us go through every single day. I am sure that you probably felt so angry and had so much hatred for me. You probably thought I was such a bad person, and I mean of course you would because what decent person would ever do that to someone? Nobody should ever be treated that way. Right? So then why do you treat yourself that way? Why do you let your mind beat yourself up every waking morning? When I put it into terms of me saying these things to someone else it seems like the meanest thing in the world, but when we put it in terms of saying this to ourselves, we just let it go. It is hard to think of it this way, but this is exactly what we put up with everyday. We let our mind bully us every single day and we feel as though we shouldn’t get help for it. Just like with every bully, we need to report this and hand ourselves in because if we don’t, this will keep happening and that person’s life will become worse and worse. Just because we can’t physically see this bully, or hear them, it doesn’t mean that you are any less valid. It is just as traumatizing and awful and it is so sad that we feel as though we can’t fix it because if this was an actual human being that did these things to you, you would be going to tell someone and get help.

I know that it can be tough to see it in this way, but I just wanted to tell everyone that you can’t let your mind treat you like that. Try to think of it as a person and then be like ‘what would I do in this situation?’. Would you tell someone? Would you get help and support? I hope those answers are yes because you don’t deserve to be treated like this. For a lot of us, our biggest bully is ourselves and that is not ok. I mean of course your thoughts are valid but you can’t let it keep happening. You need to expose that bully. You know that sadness for the girl who you thought I was bullying, feel that for yourself because you are going through so much right now and although your mind may tell you otherwise, you deserve to be happy and live your life to the fullest.

Thank you so much for watching, I hope you enjoyed it and it put into perspective that we can’t ignore what our mind is telling us. We need to get help just as if it was a school bully. Please like, comment and follow if you like this content and please feel free to comment your thoughts about this post. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.


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