Good morning guys. Today is the day I go back to school after 3 months of online lessons and to be honest, nothing could get worse than this moment. As soon as I got up, I got changed into my school uniform and I almost broke down. Why? Because my uniform is tight on me. It is so frustrating and I felt trapped and nearly just decided to go back to be and just sleep for the rest of the day. But then I thought, maybe if I write it down here, I will get it off my chest and maybe someone will feel the same way and we won’t feel as isolated.
I hate my body and I have for a long time. Sadly a lot of people can understand that and they feel the same way. I always feel like someone is always looking at me, judging me, and can tell every time I gain a bit of weight. It is always my stomache, my legs and my arms that I get most stressed about. And my face too but that would mean I could have just said my whole body but I didn’t so here we are now. Anyways, back on topic. My skirt feels really tight around my waist and I just can’t stop thinking about every little thing and feeling ashamed of myself. The thing about me, and maybe you guys too, is that I can give advice to everyone else, but none of that is being listened to by me because I just think it doesn’t apply to me. It sounds ridiculous, this applies to everyone in the world but me. So I thought that I would type out what I say to others and maybe I will believe some of it… maybe.
So what I would remind someone is that firstly, their body is absolutely perfect, and then I remind them how much their body has gone through. Everyone’s body has changed in some way, no matter what, because we have been in a flipping global pandemic. The fact that you may feel different in someway is completely normal because we have been through so many changes and so many stressful moments. The motivation to do some things is absolutely demolished so how would we expect anything else. And the truth is, nobody will actually notice that you have changed, and if they do they won’t judge you because they understand at least a part of what you have gone through because they went through it too and have probably become uncomfortable in their own body too.
What I also want to make sure everyone know is that if anybody ever mentions anything about your weight, they are not worth the worry. They are people who are jealous of you because they also feel uncomfortable with who they are. And that isn’t an excuse what so ever, but I mean that they do not deserve your presence in their lives. Don’t think of it as ‘I am so much less than them and I am worthless’, try to think of it as ‘they don’t deserve my time and I don’t want to be with someone who only sees people for their looks and not for their actual personality’. And I know that is way easier said than done, but try to at least remember this and maybe some day in the future, it will stick with you.
So to conclude this, I know that you are really struggling right now and that is ok but just know that this is totally normal and you are so strong for getting this far. I am really proud of you and it will get better. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT