‘What The Fuck’ Moments I’ve Had

In my 15 years of life, I have surprisingly a lot of good stories. I can look back at them now and think why the fuck did I not body slam that person? So yeah are a few of these moments, enjoy lol

The Day I Was Born

So I was born and the first thing I thought was, “the AUDACITY of this bitch to birth me”. I think if I were to go through this again I would definitely decide not to become an embryo


So this was a few years back. And before you think I am such an outgoing person, this was with my dad, sister and her friend so I’m not that popular. Anyways, so I was just vibing, as you do, and then this old man was proper hammered and he was going around literally jumping on people as though they were his best mates. As a teen girl I was already a tad bit skeptical so I tried not to give him any attention. Then he came up literally dancing away and then he stopped, leaned back, put his glasses down a wee bit and then bloody LOOKED ME UP AND DOWN and here was me literally terrified and I was like what the fuck do I do. But then finally he left and I was like, I defo should’ve absolutely slammed his face. But yeah lol, getting hit on my an ancient old man really is not the thing I was wanting.


Lady Like

This story actually happened in school a couple years ago. Me and my friend went throw this annoying phase where we kept trying to trip each other up and then I went to trip her up in the line to get to class and then one of the ICT teachers walked by me and was like ‘that’s not very lady like’. I looked back at him like, I would beat you up if you weren’t an adult or my teacher. Not lady like bitch I wasn’t trying to. The audacity of men scares me

Making My Way Down Town

Lol this was actually last year (why do I keep saying when everything happened as if you give a fuck) and it was a really warm day for once so ya know, me and my friends were having the summer vibes. They were having a hot girl summer, but not me LOL anyways, so yeah, we were like, lets go be basic white girls and get ourselves some iced coffee. While we were walking down IN BROAD DAYLIGHT ON A BUSY STREET, this man walks up beside us and starts talking to us about ‘where you going’, ‘I really like this place’. Bare in mind he was like late 40’s and we are like 15-16 so we were a bit sketched out as you would be. So we kind of stopped for a second to see if he would leave, he didn’t so we were like ‘fuck it’ and we just went to get coffee. This man FOLLOWS us in and just waits at the front door as we order. Then we sit down with our drinks and starts talking to us. We kinda scared but don’t wanna show it obviously, and finally he walks out again. That man didn’t even buy a drink so I don’t know what the fuck he thought he was gonna do. So yeah, that happened.

We Care, Buuuuuuttt…

Ok, this was 2 days ago literally. This had me literally crying in class. That’s not a joke, I just had tears. Here I was in English class, that says enough already, and she had another bloody talk about how we are going through so much. Wait, the first thing is that she literally goes on about the fact that we don’t even have it bad. Bitch! Why? You know that isn’t true right? Anyways, then that bitch went on to say, ‘you know that book you haven’t looked at in like a year and you have already done a bunch of tests on? Well we just randomly decided that you need to write an essay on it because you don’t give a flying fuck about you guys.’ So yeah, I cried and now and fully want to jump out the window 🙂


These Boys Ain’t Shit

So my first relationship was kind of… how will I put it? Utter shit, yes that’s what I was looking for. When I tell you I could write a book on this man, I mean it. But I am gonna name 2 things. So, I planned for us to go out to a movie with him after weeks of trying to get him to find time for me and then the day before this man texts me saying he can’t make it and I was like ‘why’ and he was like BECAUSE I NEED TO WATCH STAR WARS WITH MY DAD. This is no joke, he said that. He dad wasn’t sick or anything, they had all watched star wars already so there was absolutely no reason to watch it. I said ok because I thought that is what I deserved in the relationship LOL. And the second one. We were in a relationship for 2 years +. I hated it at that point because I thought I was such a bad person and that’s why he never messaged me. Tell me why the literal first time he texted me first was to break up with me. Yup, he broke up over text. The only thing I regret is not being the one to dump him

Fire At Grannies House

Ha! So when I was a literal foetus, it was Christmas and I had my cousins round and we were all at my grannies. Just for context, these were the cousins on my mum’s side so you know it was a good time. We made a fort, we played mums and dads, all that jazz. Then we went to play with legos, as you should. Then my dad is just outside the door like ‘hmm, I smell fire’:o Tell me why there is a fucking fire ball in the living room! I’ll tell you why. We left a pillow on top of one of the lamps and that bitch was blazing. The thing is, it was right next to the curtains so my granny’s house was close to being on fire but luckily it didn’t. And then it was just me and my cousins watching our uncles carry out this crisp pillow and lamp. Ah memories

Anyways, they are just a few of the stories I have. I hope you enjoyed them because some are quite funny, other’s are just a bit concerning to be honest. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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