Dear little me. It’s too late to go back now so I guess I will just have to support you along the way. I saw photos of when we were 4 and you were literally in the most random clothes and you were having by so much fun. No matter how much I looked in your eyes, there was no sense of pain or fear, except from the scrape on your knee when you fell playing tips with your friends.
Life is gonna get fucking tough though and I know you can’t actually read this but you are going to care way too much about the things that don’t matter and to little about the things that matter the most. But it will get better, it will be one bad year after another, but at some point it will start to get easier, or so I hope. Just enjoy your life now. Enjoy the fact that the only big problem you have is making sure Santa doesn’t see you sneak a sweet in before dinner, or getting your times tables done in time (btw you never really get better at them). I won’t scare you with the details of what is to come but they are inevitable so just enjoy every moment you have.
You are gonna learn who really matters to you and it will be tough to understand. It will get harder and harder to explain your feelings to others, not just because you don’t want to hurt them, but because you literally don’t have the words for them. Every time I see us in a photo I am smiling from ear to ear. We have great parents, great sisters who will be the most important people in your life. I’m just glad we have so many great memories and I thank you for having the confidence to do them. I’m just sorry I can’t give you that in your future. I just feel bad when I see the videos and the photos of us because I know what is to come ahead and trust me, it isn’t pretty. I know that your life will be ripped to pieces, the smile will fade, your thoughts will become scary and in that moment I hadn’t a care in the world. I imagined my future every day. The friends I would have, the stories I would be a part of, the things I could achieve. I never imagined that I would end up the way I am today. But I guess we grow from them. We truly experience the “real world” and learn many things that we may not accept but need to do anyways. The stories you hear online, the ones you would never expect to happen to you, actually do. You learn that the stories you learned in history, aren’t really history at all. You learn that people have a mask, but this time it is what is underneath that is scary.
I would say I would like to go back in time to the moments in those videos and pictures, but then I realise that I couldn’t live through those moments again. It is a scary fucking journey and there will be so many things that you won’t understand. All I want to do is give you a hug and hold your hand through it all, but I can’t and all I can do is warn you that the world is a cruel place filled with cruel people, but you can’t let them change you.
Lol, anyways, that was just a wee rant about what I would say to my younger self. Pretty much just a “don’t follow my example” piece I guess. Anyways, What would you say to your younger self? Put it in the comments below. Please like and follow if you enjoy this type of content and I will see you tomorrow with another post. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.
Periodt 