Hey guys, another week has gone by and for a lot of us, we may be going back to school next week. Well, I am anyways. I have a total of 18 exams in the next 5 weeks, all which goes towards my GCSEs (aka decides my future) so to say I am scared would be an understatement. Have I revised? No. Will I revise? I have no clue bitch. But I guess I just want to make this weekly reminder about the fact that, just because you are finding revision and school hard to get done, doesn’t mean you are lazy or dumb. Here’s what I mean
For the past year we have been chucked left and right, up and down, with no support or recognition. Yes, the government say they “understand” us, but they fucking don’t. Yes I can hear that they seem sympathetic, but answer me this, what have they done about it? What teenager have they seriously talked to about how they have been affected? What have they solved? Well, for the UK, the answers are, they have brought all the exams forward with little understanding of what we are being tested on or help with the topics. They have asked no teenager about their feelings and have just went off of stereotypes like “the reason they are struggling is because they are on their phone all day” or “they just don’t like school and that is why they are failing, they need to grow up”. And to answer, what have they solved… I have no fucking clue. I guess they are trying to give us a fair shot on predicted grades. Oh wait, but they gave us no warning of tests, with little preparation while a lot of us are in an unhealthy mental state. Hmm, I guess they eventually got us all back into school. Oh, but we have been bombarded with work and stress and little time to breather or settle in. You see, the thing with our generation is that we don’t openly show our emotions, or at least not in a way other generations would understand. I don’t know about everyone else, but for me there is a bad stigma around struggling mentally and when we speak up about an issue, it is seen as “disrespectful”. Then when everything gets to much and a tragedy happens, they wonder why we didn’t speak up and so they have an assembly. Then the cycle starts again. We miss a homework, the teacher gets mad, we tell them it is because we are struggling, they ignore us, something bad happens, they never learn from their mistakes.
You see, when you miss a homework, or when you don’t have the energy to revise, it is OK. And I don’t care what your mum, dad, carers, teachers, anyone, says because they have no fucking clue what is going on. Not the faintest fucking idea. And I have no clue what your situation is right now, but I know that there is something going on in your life. Whether it is just Corona or something else, you have something going on and I hear you. Don’t let anybody make you feel weak for the way you feel, or downplay the severity of your problems because it is not your fault and you need to know that. Shit happens, but for you, too much shit has happened. I am sure missing homework or failing exams is the least of your worries and that is just how these feelings are being expressed. Yet nearly every teacher is blind to that fact. They don’t see you thoughts, they don’t know your story, they don’t see the real you. So no matter how much they harass you, just understand this isn’t your fault and I am not gonna promise you it will get better soon because I don’t fucking know. I sure hope it does, but I can’t promise that. All I can say is that you aren’t alone. You have your whole class behind you, you have me behind you and no teacher can fully understand what you are feeling at the moment. Maybe you don’t even understand, that’s ok though. Life has been changing every single day since the beginning of 2020. News changes, families change, school changes, our routine changes. And just when we feel a bit settled in to one way of life, it is shifted. I know that for me, one of the many reasons I struggle with doing things such as homework or studying is because I feel as though it is going to change, as though I will start to revise and it will all be cancelled. As though I will have to go through all the mental pain of school and then all the mental pain of realizing it was all a waste. These past years have been filled with so much pain and we just don’t want that to continue any longer.
So, if you were to take one thing from this post, let it be the power to not let people make you believe that you are just lazy and that you are overreacting, but that you are confused and tired or the changes and pain. You are so strong and not doing homework doesn’t diminish that. Don’t let ANYBODY tear you down or make you feel less of yourself. Do you realise how much you have gone through to get to this moment? It is amazing how you have made it this far. Nobody knows your journey apart from you, so don’t let them write your future. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.