You know, some people always question “why did God create criminals and pain and suffering” but the real fucking question is why the hell did he make awkward silences?! Like what the actual fuck. That could also literally be an argument for the fact we are in a simulation because those bitches are just bored of us repeating the same thing over and over again, war after war, idiot after idiot, and they were like “you know what would be hilarious? A moment in time that feels like an eternity but is only 1 second and is filled with excruciating pain that will be burned in their mind for the rest of their life :)”. Well, guess what?! It ain’t funny. They literally make me want to shrivel up and I know you guys are relating to this so hard right now. Whoever or whatever made this earth is a cheeky bitch (lol all jokes so if I just offended you)
It really does shock me how much anxiety can be condensed into a second and I have fucking anxiety like that’s saying something. It happened to me yesterday actually. I was just doing some revision in class, as you do, and I saw that my teacher was going around to everyone just checking how they were doing so as you do, I got prepared for when she would talk to me. She finally got to me and let’s just say, the question she had asked wasn’t what I practised for. She was like “so is it harder with your sister being off”. And I looked at her just like what the fuck do you mean. How am I supposed to answer that? I literally had no clue what she meant so I just stared at her for what felt like a year but I’m pretty sure it was like 1 second. And it really did keep me up at night. She is the loveliest teacher but she defo thinks I am a creep now because I don’t know how to answer a simple question. What she meant was am I jealous my sister isn’t at school and I am. But we move. Let’s just say I won’t be getting that out of my head for a while. Yesterday must have been the day for awkward silence because I was going on a walk and when I was thinking to go home I saw this man. He looked like your classic biker dude with the tiger king moustache and he was talking to me but firstly, I had earphones in, and secondly, he had a thick accent of some sort and he was asking me stuff. Being the awkward person I am, I didn’t ask him what he said for a while because I thought it would be rude so I just stared at did that awkward smile because I didn’t want him to think I was a chav because, well, I’m not. So that happened and I just ran away after and I wanted to literally jump off a bridge.
This is gonna sound poetic as fuck, but how can silence be so loud. Although it is 100 times better than someone saying “well this is awkward”. We have to admit, we have all said this at some point, but what went through our head to think about it. I hate awkward silences so much that I fill it with anything. But it happens all the time so people think I am weird probably. It happens in class, walking down the hall, just existing. I am literally a walking awkward silence and I feel bad for everyone that has ever talked to me but I feel like I just attract awkward situations. I think we need to cancel it tho. Like it would be really useful instead of just being silent for ages, the world could like explode or something. That would be really helpful. But I feel like if silences are going to continue to exist, we may as well just add some elevator music in the background. Just to add a little spice you know.
They are kinda like a black hole though aren’t they because it sucks up everything. Every single thought you have ever had, every word you have ever learned, every social information you have acquired. Your mind goes blank but yet it is full of everything if you know what I mean. You are searching for some sort of light or idea but you just can’t so you sit or walk next to the other person like a literal idiot. But yeah I don’t know why I kinda just wanted to get that out there. Does everyone else find this too? Do you have any embarrassing stories? I always feel as though it is my responsibility to fill it but like it takes 2 to have a conversation right? I’d anyone has discovered the perfect technique to avoid these situations, I would greatly appreciate it