Right, hear me out guys. This may sound like utter shite but I swear when you think about it for long enough, it literally makes no fucking sense, or well, at least it is such an amazingly weird thing. There is just a time of day where you could walk down the street and everyone around you, in their houses of course, is sleeping. Like nobody is awake at that moment. The world quite literally shuts down. The lights go out, we are pretty much unconscious, everything is closed except for clubs and really sketchy areas. But it is so weird that half of the world is like “ok, i’m done” and that is relatable as fuck, but again, what the actual hell. And then sleeping itself is a whole thing. I mean we just lie on this cuboid of feathers or cotton and shut our eyes for however long it takes to fall asleep and then BAM you are awake and literally 8 hours have passed (if you’re lucky) and we just act as though that is normal. And it is such a vulnerable moment as well. We are literally lifeless, our eyes closed, and we just vibe as though nobody could break into our house and just stab us or something. Sorry if that gave anyone anxiety, you would wake up in time don’t worry

But what is it with sleeping. Like why is it that we have to literally sleep in the dark and get all comfy in a bed and shit, while animals literally have to sleep in shit and the cold and they just vibe. Yes you could say they have fur but like we have clothes and we still have to have a bloody sun in our room to fall asleep. To be honest, I would be so raging if I was an animal and couldn’t sleep under a blanket. I would have to become one of those dogs you see on tiktok that are so cute and literally wrap themselves up in their blanket and you realise how dumb your dog actually is because they literally walk into a glass window even if it is all smudgy 😐 But imagine how scary it would be if you were like the first living thing on earth and it was getting dark and you were with your mates and all of a sudden you were like “bro bro BRO I can’t keep my eyes open” and they were like “bro what?!” and you were like “my eyelids are like heavy or something bro! I’m seeing darkness and shit”. “Bro that’s so cra… OH SHIT BRO my eyes are heavy too!” and then you be screaming and you and your friend just conk out and in the morning you are like “shit bro! It’s bright again. My eyes aren’t even heavy? Bro, are we… dead” and your friend is like “I don’t know bro, but then again I am literally just a cell so… I mean I didn’t even know we had eyes until a couple of hours ago”. The end. I really have no clue what these stories even are. I mean what the even fuck. Please do say if I am going too far but like, I don’t give a shit so.

Back on topic though. Our body has literally evolved to be like “ok so we kinda need to not work for a couple of hours, but like, we will also be working even harder than usual if that’s ok with you” and we just accept it like “yeah I trust you to keep me alive while I literally have no control over anything” and then our body is like “nice! As a thank you we are going to give you magical stories during the night that will make your actual life seem like actual shit and you will be depressed that it is gone. But if we accidentally give you a good one, we will delete it from your memory in a split second. Thanks again.” and we just like “that doesn’t sound fun at all actually. Maybe I should just stay up because I mean you still work when I am asleep anyways so…” and then our body is like “bitch Imma give you a headache if you don’t go to bed ok! And I’m going to make you feel so tired that you won’t be able to do nothing else BITCH”. Like it’s weird but like ok. And I know that there is all kinds of science behind sleeping and why we do it, but if we just forget science for a teeny tiny moment and just have a teeny tiny existential crisis, sleeping is so confusing and crazy.

Then there are the people who feel like they are literal Jesus or something and they go frolicking around saying “I don’t even need sleep man. It’s just a ploy that mattress companies put in our head. I mean I haven’t slept in like 3 days man and look at me, I’m toooottaaallly fine dude *looks like an old sac of skin with some no life behind his eyes* America is the land of the free do I don’t even have to listen to all that science shit you know” and these people are also always anti-maskers and anti-vax people who think they are revolutionary but are really just paranoid and self-conscious. Can’t you die from a lack of sleep though? I mean it sounds quite dramatic if you ask me. You seriously are about to just shut down because I wouldn’t close my eyes for a few hours, what are you? A baby. I mean come on. And also one last thing that I am completely pissed about everyday. Why the hell am I still tired after sleeping?! Was that not enough for you body because it seems like you be needing a lot of shit these days. You need sleep, you need exercise, you need fed, you need sun, you need water, you need rest, you need washed, you need every fucking thing in the world and you know what? I’m sick of it to be quite frank with you.

LOL anyways that was quite the rant today wasn’t it. I hope you are all have a great time during summer, or if you are still in school I hope you are coping ok. Surely it is nearly over right? Well depending on when you read this. Maybe you are some sort of galactic alien who randomly snatched a phone for some reason typed “do you know what is weird? Sleep” and if that is you, alien, give them their fucking phone back bitch. Cha anyways, I hope you have a good day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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