The World Needs More…

The world needs more pockets. Nope, that isn’t a joke. Today I am talking about why the world needs more pockets *gets kicked out of Climate Change organisation*

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In all honesty though, I have a solid argument about why we need more pockets. Maybe not in the USA though. They’ll just carry more guns 😮 oooooohhhhh I just went there lol. Just jokes though guys lmao. But I love pockets. Hands down, I love pockets more than I love myself, but that doesn’t say much to be honest 😮 self burn! I have a brand of leggings that I pretty much worship, and I mean I am not a religious bitch but these are my savior. It is so freaking convenient to be walking down the street on a warm day and nobody is wearing a coat or jacket or anything like that and they are like “uh I can’t be bothered holding my phone anymore” and I just fling my leg in front of them dramatically and point at my leg and go “suckers” and run off with empty hands and a phone in my pocket. It is just so convenient and I feel like, as a woman, the pay gap may not be a thing everywhere, but the pocket gap is more prevalent than ever. And that is quite literal. Men are fucking snails because they can bring their whole house we them, and girls are bloody struggling to put a receipt in their pocket. Then the guys all be complaining like “why you always got so much stuff in your bag lmao”. Well, Josh, why have you got car keys, your phone, a charger, a battery, a lighter, 10 pound coins, and last nights dinner in only one pocket! Answer me that bitch.

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I suppose it means that when there are decent pockets it is extra exciting. If something has nice pockets, the world gotta know. I will wear it for as long as it takes for everyone I know to appreciate it has pockets. So many of them don’t understand my excitement privileged bitches and I’m sick of it to be quite honest with you. And whenever I find a ‘pocket’ and I go to check the size of it and my fingernails can’t even fit in, you better know that just ruined my day. What cruel fuck decided to do that? What was the point? I just look like an actually idiot now because I just tried to jam my hand into fuck all! I also got an oodie for Christmas and if you don’t know what they are, they are the comfiest things in the world. Like, that wee girl from Despicable Me, the one that say “it’s so fluffy I’m gonna die”, yeah, well she would be dead from an oodie. But that’s beside the point. It has a massive pocket and I feel like a bloody Kangaroo because that is how big the pocket is. It brings me so much happiness. My dog can fit in it! What else could you want in life?

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Honestly though, why does women’s clothing always have like 0.1 pockets? Is it so we buy more bags or whatever? Is there a pocket shortage? The pocket famine? I bet you they were all made by men who wanted to keep all the pockets to themselves and now they are just laughing in their corporate office on the top floor of a skyscraper with all their millions of dollars in one pocket and their massive ego in the other. I can picture it now. How… terrifying. But yeah, who wants to sign a petition that we should all be treated equally. No person should ever have to get that fear everyday when they get no clothes. Women deserve pockets bitch! Vote for me, because pockets are our future. Wow, really got emotional there didn’t we. Imagine someone just skipped to that part after reading the title and thought that this was actually a serious post lmao. They just reading this like “what the fuck has the world come to”. But in all honesty and seriousness, is it really that hard to put an actual decent sized pocket on everyone’s clothing? It literally makes me so happy to have pockets.

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Someone please make a clothing brand called “world in my pocket”. It’s inspired by the absolute CLASSIC show “Grandpa in my pocket” and shows that the pockets won’t be minuscule and also shows that women are boss bitches because, well, we have the world in our pocket. Just make sure you give me a shout out on your site and put this post on one of your pages so others can really understand your brand. Your welcome I guess. But anyways, that is the wee rant over. I feel like I really got to your guys. Connected on a whole new level. I mean pockets are one of the greatest things and we shall not be kept away from it for any longer. But yeah, I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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