The Olympics: Awkwardness Unlocked

So I was just watching the opening ceremony or the Olympics and I’m sorry but like how awkward would that be. Especially for the people that work there and just wave as they walk down and have to act as though people are watching them but like really nobody is. And then the actual athletes are walking down having to look hype and they have just worked all of their lives to get to this very moment that they might never have again and are now walking through an empty stadium with a bunch of people who are more focused on fucking demolishing you than they are actually interested in you. I especially feel bad for the countries that literally have 2 people in their group and they are always pretty much socially distancing themselves from each other. I mean surely if you only had that person in your team you would be pretty close or at least tolerate each other.

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Don’t get me wrong, what they are doing is absolutely awesome and I would never be able to get to that point but I would be pretty pissed if nobody was watching or cheering me on because that would really boost the ego. I guess that is unless you literally suck at it and land on your face when running or something. Even though you know millions of people are watching at home, it would be less embarrassing than thousands of people seeing you knock yourself out by tripping over your bloody laces. I think that at some points I would get so used to having nobody physically there watching me and I would end up doing something really embarrassing like singing and dancing to myself in the mirror and then I look next to me and there is a camera man absolutely pissing himself knowing he is gonna get bank for this. I would also have to do a few wee office moments where like if I didn’t win I would do a cheeky wee unbothered Jim side eye. I would also get so distracted by them and I know that they will always be there even when corona is a thing, but like now they are the only other things in the room and my short attention span would actually make me forget where I was and then I’d get a volleyball to the head or some shit.

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I would also get embarrassed because you know when they are doing the national anthem and they are proper looking in the sky while the cameras are going along a line videoing them and they are always so emotional but like I probably would be singing the wrong words or like feel as though I need to look at the camera and I would turn into some sort of meme with the caption “that creepy kid in the restaurant that keeps staring at you”. That isn’t even a joke. Do you reckon that they actually have to practice the national anthem or they already know it because I only know the first section of mine and then from their I am either bored as shit or just moving my lips but not making a noise. They probably do though. I actually do think that I would be trying hard not to laugh because I’ll just remember that one woman that absolutely butchered the American anthem because, although it isn’t my country’s anthem, it is absolutely fucking hilarious.

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I have to say, she isn’t a bad singer, she obviously got some skills but like for fuck sake, where was the need. Like honestly love. I wonder if she watched this back and was like why the fuck? Was she on crack or did she just love a cheeky wee remix. And the players where near pissing themselves. They did pretty good though because I know i’d be dying in the background. I kind of want to make this my alarm in the morning so I can wake up with great vibes. They aren’t lacking you gotta admit. And then at the end she was like “let’s play some basketball!” as though she really did something. Miss ma’am, you just slam dunked that anthem into the pits of hell, this ain’t no masterpiece bitch.

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This post got a bit off topic I think, but I guess what I wanted to say was that I feel bad for the Olympians this year and I hope they have a great time and sleep well on their cardboard beds. I also hope they get another chance next time so they can have the whole experience. Apparently it’s in Paris next time so I might have to have a wee scoot over because it ain’t a long flight from where I live. Maybe I’ll have a cheeky croissant or have a hot girl summer with the french dudes. But no matter what, and I mean no matter what, I am not gonna do the fucking tourist picture shit with the Eiffel tower. Did you know somebody actually married the Eiffel tower?! NO JOKE.

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And on that note, I will see you tomorrow. Thanks for being patient with my posts guys because I been kind of a busy bitch lately with work and all that going on. It’s a hard not life for a working woman who also hates being around anything and anyone 🙂 So yeah I’ll hopefully talk tomorrow and please don’t forget to subscribe so that you don’t miss the next one because I know you are gonna want to read it. I don’t know what it is yet but I know it’s gonna be great. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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I’m not above a fight

See, I don’t really like it when people are cheeky to me. I mean you can be upfront and shout at me and I’ll be fine with that. My sisters have conditioned me to that. But if you are being passive aggressive or cheeky in front of me or behind my back, I won’t hesitate … Continue reading I’m not above a fight

Train wreck of thought

I haven’t posted in a while, obviously, and I ain’t gonna explain why because it’s more boring than you think. It’s not like I went on a fucking trip to the Bahamas despite the fact I hope to go there some day if corona ever goes away. But anyways, a lot has happened like me … Continue reading Train wreck of thought

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