What do I mean when I say “Emotion comes in shades”? No, I don’t associate colours with certain feelings, what I mean is that emotions aren’t so black and white. There are layers, different forms of emotions. It’s more deep than just sad, happy or confused. And I think that is what people find difficult when they feel something that they can’t quite describe because they feel different, or in a sense, weird. And I am no therapist, but I’m a human, so I know that when I say emotions be crazy I am telling the truth. Let me develop this a bit more.
I, like many people, have mental struggles, and I am lucky enough to get therapy. And one thing I have heard my mum say is that when I am struggling or feeling a bit down, there are two attitudes, or personalities, that can come from it. I can either be really defensive or as she would say “edgy”, in the way that I don’t let people come near me to comfort me, or I can be more ‘small’ or as I describe it, melty. I guess that means I am just more timid and kind of as if puppy eyes were a personality. Like I don’t know why but kind of as though I act really young again, like a child who isn’t feeling well and just wants a cuddle. I mean I will never reach out in that way but I get that sort of personality. But basically, those are two ‘shades’ of anxiety that I can have. I suppose there are more, maybe they blend in together at some point, but like a lot of shades, it’s hard to distinguish between them until you take a step back and look at the big picture.
I think this way of seeing emotions could also be helpful to kind of understand how you can approach someone with a certain emotion. You may not know just by talking to them, but if you were to ask them something like in my example “do you feel edgy or melty right now” and then you know whether to give them space or a hug. Obviously, that doesn’t solve it and it does require them to talk which they may not want, but it could really help. If you had a secret code or something to signal that you are sad, but in an “I just watched a sad video and I’ll be fine” way, or an “I’m finding it hard to balance everything and so many bad things are happening now” way. I think that could really help.
And I feel as though people who see the emotion in a black and white type of way can be passive and almost unhelpful in a sense when it comes to the emotions of others and their own. Because if you were to ask someone “Hey are you ok?” or something along those lines, and they just replied with “meh, I’m fine”, then a “black and white” perspective would make them think that they are just neutral, nothing is wrong. But if you were to ask them “fine meaning what?” then they might eventually admit they are fine as in barely holding on, then you can be there for them. It is most likely it isn’t even the person’s fault because they were raised with a “black and white” perspective and they don’t really know any different, but you can learn and that is the best thing to do. It doesn’t matter if that was you in the past because you couldn’t help it, but if you try to understand and maybe listen more about it, you can see that “fine” or “happy” or “anxious” can mean multiple different things.
And I don’t mean that in the sense that you shouldn’t even bother asking because there are so many layers to it and you can’t even be bothered trying to work out what it is they are feeling and how you can help them with that. I mean it as in you should take what they say with a grain of salt because there is more behind it than you might think. They may not even know it themselves until they really think for a second. Obviously, you don’t have to over-analyse everyone’s responses but it can help to know if they are feeling some way in a jokey sense, or in a more serious sense.
I think it could also help you. Not for helping out others, but for reassuring yourself that what you are feeling is ok and normal. Sometimes I may feel some way and when I get asked how I felt, I don’t know what to say. Maybe I was angry but sad and ‘melty’ or maybe I was happy but ‘edgy’. Because it is so hard to describe how you feel with just “good” or “bad” because emotions are so complex but they are what make us human. The colours make life more interesting and sometimes scary, but you know that at the end of the day we all recognize the shades we see. Sometimes the hardest part is just accepting it and recognizing its beauty.
I hope this post made sense to you all and got you thinking a little bit. I suppose this was a deep post but I enjoyed it and hope you did too. If it did then don’t forget to like, follow and comment down below. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.
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