The Century-Long Christmas Controversy

Merry Christmas to everyone!… except those who say happy Christmas. You can go to hell. I don’t really know what it is that possesses people to say “happy” Christmas but I don’t want it. Like it makes me shrivel up and die inside. I can actually hear the elves and Santa cry from the north pole. Santa does not eat mince pies and go around the world all in one day for you to say “Happy Christmas”. And I know that the elves, Santa and Mrs Clause have been having a few fights over this one. I don’t know what there is to say because there is an obvious winner but this is definitely a touchy are. But mark my words Santa, it stops here, it stops now.

Now, I know that was a bit dramatic but to be honest, I think it’s justifiable because I’m correct. Why am I correct? Well, it’s easy, there is no other time of the year where you can say Merry something without sounding like a complete idiot. This word is actually non-existent until the 1st of December. The Oxford Dictionary has to come out with a winter edition just for this word. It just isn’t a thing. So that means we need to make the most of it, so if you waste it for one second by saying happy, I hope you won’t be. Seriously though, could you look me in the eye and tell me that “happy Christmas” makes more sense?

Happy doesn’t begin to cover it. Happy is bland. It’s like salt. I guess it works but like what the fuck? It diminishes the power of Christmas as the joy it brings. With happy, I think of summer or just any random day of the year, but with Merry, I can picture a fucking miracle. I imagine putting up the Christmas tree, the warm yellow lights and memories flooding it, keeping cosy as it snows outside, waking up at 11am and the sun is already setting, fires and songs. Don’t take that away from us, especially not this year. We deserve better and “happy” is not good enough. ‘Merry’ is just the most Christmasy thing ever. It is the perfect description of the joy of Christmas and you can’t tell me otherwise.

But do you know who is worst for saying “Happy Christmas”? Bloody Americans. Are we even shocked at this point? Like they just gotta switch things up and fix things that aren’t even broken. Like they gotta ruin it for the rest of us. What compelled them to say this… this… shit? Excuse my french but also I’ll say it again! Respect to all the Americans that say “merry” because you didn’t let them take that away from you. I bet that Donald Trump says ‘Happy Christmas’, he just gives me that vibe. And I better not get a bunch of people being like “I have the freedom to say what I want” and shit like that ’cause you are all so obsessed with that shit. Like damn, pick another personality trait. But don’t even get me started with any of that “Happy Holidays” shit. Is it a joke to you? Does it look like I am laughing? No. Don’t even talk to me,

Merry Christmas is just so much better though and it just doesn’t sound right any other way. If I was santa I would give the “Happy” people literally coal or some shit, or like show them this post so they know what is right. So have a merry fucking Christmas if you celebrate it and get that bloody tree up and shining! Imma go sing some carols now and I’ll be keeping an eye out, just like Santa “he sees you when your sleeping, he knows when your awake…” Damn that was scary as fuck. Why do all these songs seem so dark, like that is so uncalled for.

Anyway, I hope you guys like this post and comment down below “Merry Christmas” if you say that too or if I have taught you a valuable lesson. If you say “Happy Christmas” you’re wrong but also comment and try to convince me. Obviously it is quite the passionate topic for me and I got a bit heated but I am actually really excited for Christmas, it’s my favourite time of the year and I’ve got my Santa list all done and ready to be sent. What other Christmas Controversies do you think there are? Leave them in the comments below and if I agree then I’ll make another post like this, so make sure to like and follow so you don’t miss out. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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