The Christmas Spirit Is a Curse

Whoever said Christmas is about giving, not receiving is fucking right because bitch do I GIVE! Now I ain’t tryna brag and be like oh my days I’m so unlucky that I have to/can spend money to get stuff for my family, but like I’m just saying that I am acting as though I’ve got the cash to do it. By the end of the year, my only new year’s resolution is to not go overboard next Christmas, but we can all relate when I say this never works out. When it gets to Christmas time I just get the image in my head that when my family come down the stairs on Christmas morning that they will say “fuck you” to Santa’s gifts and go straight to mine because they know that it’s gonna be something amazing. Sadly, it comes at an expense

The truth is, I am shite at presents (apart from this year I actually got some pretty good ones if I say so myself) so I don’t know why I always have such a high expectation for myself. The Christmas cheer basically makes me want to spend what I have. If I was one of those people I would say Christmas music is magic and actually makes me want to spend more and it is all a government plan to fix the economy. Lol, watch all the Karens get triggered. But no, I don’t know why I buy some of the things that I buy. Somebody tell me why the fuck I justify purchases like “my dog has been needing a Gucci belt actually”. Make it make sense. Most of the time I will be digging in the depths of my mind for a gift idea because it needs to be the best but that means it is usually some shit that they don’t even remember. I swear my twin will open her gift and be like “thanks, but why the fuck?” and I’ll be like “do you not remember the time you said you really wanted that” and she’ll be like “umm, no. When?” and then I’ll be like “when we were in the womb, silly”. Like it really is not ok for me.

Seriously though, who do I think I am? Kim K? I’ll be over here splashing the cash like I’m in a water park. I literally never buy anything throughout the year because I literally have a phobia or some shit, but then by November/December time, the concept of being financially responsible has no significance to me. I will have literally spent a fuck tonne and be like “yeah I’ve got most of my gifts but I still need to add a few things and then I’m done”. My friends are probably over here like bitch where the fuck are you pulling this from because last week you couldn’t seem to find the spare change for a fucking train ticket (in my defence they are bloody expensive nowadays).

One of the saviours for both me and my pocket is that my friends and I do a secret Santa so that we only have to buy 1 gift instead of gifts for everyone. To be honest, this could turn into a whole other post because that shit gets difficult when you got a twin in the same friend group, but I’ll leave that for another time if you want to hear about it. I also seem to get the same person every fucking time so at this point, I have no clue what else to get her. There are only so many inside jokes that can be made into a gift and I also want it to be something good. That shit is stressful for real but at least we got a price limit so we know that nobody gonna get a fucking grape when they just gave someone an iPhone.

One last thing that really needs to be mentioned about the whole Christmas situation that you kinda forget about is having to open presents in front of people. This is the day of having to overemphasize your reactions because you gotta give that Christmas cheer. The truth is, I’ll be looking like the grinch tryna smile so much. Even if I like the gift I’ll have to fake so much excitement as though my life led up to that very moment. Let me show you the script that I am nominating for an oscar award:

*opens gift until I can just make out what it is*
me: *inhales the entire room in shock* Oh my god! This is so cool! *eyes wider than humanly possible* I’ve literally wanted this for ages! Thank you so much *finishes unwrapping the gift and holds it up to look at it at all angles while having my mouth wide open* This is so amazing, thank you so much for this pair of white socks!

And scene… How did you like it? Pretty amazing right? I’ll let you guys use that one, on the house of course. It does have to be a whole big thing though doesn’t it and it makes it seem so fake even though you probably did like it. You just gotta let everyone feel appreciated but to be honest, unless it’s a life, I won’t be reacting like that for real. I appreciate everything, don’t get me wrong, but I’m just tryna act like I didn’t cry all night so that’s all I can deal with at the moment. Thank you.

Anyways, a good side is that I have ‘rona (please read t the end of this sentence so that doesn’t sound bad) so Imma just says I need to wear a mask and then I won’t have to act so much. I’ll just act with my eyes. But yeah, please do comment below if your spending budget goes out the fucking window, neigh, out the fucking ozone layer, whenever it is Christmas time or if Christmas morning is actually really stressful for you. Don’t forget to like and follow as well for more content like this. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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