Because I am SUCH an expert in this field, I am going to talk about all aspects. That directly translates to, I think about this shit a lot and think it would be weird to have “eyebrows, eyelashes, eyes and under eyes” in the title. So I guess we’ll get into it, but first I’m gonna switch it up by giving you my inspiration for this post which is so motivational that Emma Watson is quaking. So here it is. I always sit down really low in my chair because I am always exhausted and too fucking lazy to sit up straight, so therefore I have a shocking posture, but that is besides the point. And being the self-critical bitch that I am, I tend to look in the mirror in front of me quite often, despite the fact I have realised I can only see my eyes and everything above it. So, therefore I see my under eyes are dark as shit, and eyebrows confuse me and also help me show my confusion at the same time which is weird and more confusing. Thank you for listening to my TED talk and let’s get into it.
Let’s start from the bottom to the top. Under eyes. First of all, why the hell are all these names so basic. I mean like we have fucking wenis and tongue and bloody shin but we can’t make a name for the things around our eye. Like we literally named one after a fucking animal (calf), or at least that’s what I like to think it’s named after. If we could change the name of these, I would call under eyes vision pits. Why? Well, I got the vision from the function of the eye, duh. And I got pits from arm pits and stuff like that. Fight me about it, I dare you. But yeah, what I find weird about vision pits is that they change colour. Where the fuck is the need? Like in all honesty, why do we need that to happen. Doesn’t all our functions serve a purpose or something? How come, after million years of evolution, we kept this. And it doesn’t even work well. It shows when we are tired, but also after we had a massive nap. I mean I don’t think they have gone away since I was born and they literally get worse everyday. Is it a flaw in how people work because the only reason I could think is that other people can tell if you are tired or sick or some shit, but nowadays it kinda just goes like “oh my days, you look really tired, you should go to bed right now!” and I’d be like “no fucking joke Karen. I haven’t slept in days and it is literally 2PM, I am still in your fucking class and you just set me 2 hours of homework. So what the hell do you want me to do about it?! Do you not think I already fucking know this information?”
So now to move onto the next thing, eyelashes. Or as I like to call them, snake shields. Now, they aren’t literally what the name will suggest because, well obviously. But I named it that because, while I understand they are supposed to protect stuff from getting into our eyes, why do they always seem to get in my eye themselves. Like for real you had one job. But we can’t really blame them, can we. What are 20 strands of short hair supposed to do. Maybe it will stop a crumb or two if I were to be suddenly hit with a packet of digestives coming from directly above and below me, but if I were to get a bloody shower, I can promise you that shampoo would be getting in there. It’s so dumb. It might do more than I realise, like stops the tears from tripping ever second. It’s as if you made a sausage dog your guard. Yeah they may look nice but when they need to be used, they don’t do shit. Make it make sense. And it hurts like a bitch when it gets in your eye which is literally every second of the day. But then you blink a few times and it goes away. What are they? A fucking magician? A hoover? Where the hell do they go? There just like everyone in my school. You think they are nice but they stab you in the back like the snakes they are. But I have one last thing to say about eye lashes before I move on. Why did they become something lucky. I mean, I would bet some creep just made it up on the spot when he was watching someone sleep or something and they were like
“*wakes up* what the fuck are you doing, Chris!”
“*panic* ummm… you have an eyelash on your cheek”
“so? What should I give a fuck when you are watching me sleep!”
“b b because it.. it.. it’s LUCKY! Yup, it’s really lucky. *picks it up with his finger* Now make a wish and blow!”
Like it does sound like some bullshit excuse for something. Maybe not the exact scenario I just described, but it sounds dumb as hell. But will I continue to do it? (with my own eyelashes of course) Most likely.
Eyes. Or as they are also referred as, eyeballs. You see, this is a basic name but I don’t mind it. It has some character to it. It’s just fun to say and anything else would just feel weird. Like we literally gave one of the greatest functioning organ of the body a fucking dumb name. They started off strong with the eye because it is spelt a bit quirky, but they just gave up afterwards and were just like fuck it, eyeball. I don’t really have anything to stay about the eyeball. It is just confusing because it does so much in so little time. Like it does a half ass job with having the images upside down meaning the brain has to finish the job and they do mean I have to look at your dumb ass. But I like them. They also don’t work for a lot of us meaning we have to look through fucking glass for the rest of our life, but it’s fine, it’s a look… 10 years ago. Actually, I think I have a lot of beef with eyes. Now, I am not blind, and I do only wear glasses, and eyes are still great, but like you may as well work? Like, it led to a lot of trauma with people stealing my glasses, making me see smudges and chips for the rest of the day, and having to look at people’s fingers as they ask that dumb ass question “hoW MaNy FIngErS aM i HoLdInG uP?” and then seeing (well…) the look of betrayal on their faces as I say the right number. So actually, while I don’t eyes are weird, for the most part, I think they have a lot of audacity for a bitch named eyeball. There. I said it :[
Last, but not least, the eyebrows. Now, these ones really do confuse me because I feel like they are just a fashion statement. Like God just looked at us and was like, something is missing? So he just put hair above our eyes. Kinda like when he put nipples on men. He just thought it looked a bit… incomplete. Now that I read that bit, it sounds like a dig on people with no eyebrows, but that isn’t what I mean because you are still beautiful, but I just wanted to make a statement that I don’t understand the point of them. So, before I dig myself into a bigger hole, let’s discuss it more. I have heard they are for protecting your eyes, but I have 2 problems with that. One, is that not the eyelashes job? And secondly, why are they so far from our fucking eyes. Now, they aren’t like becoming part of the hair line or anything, but they are definitely migrating. Like, they are at the point of “Donald Trump is gonna come get you” migration. Surely they can’t do that much from up there? But I do appreciate you I suppose. But like I also feel like you expose me way to much and I don’t appreciate it. You must be part of the snake shields cause you really coming back to nip me in the butt.
Anyways, I am happy to make it onto your list of the weirdest posts you have ever read, but was a good read? I think so, but defo leave your thoughts in the comments. I am gonna sign off quick because I don’t have much else to say like, but don’t forget to like, subscribe and check out my other posts. And of course, I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.
See, I don’t really like it when people are cheeky to me. I mean you can be upfront and shout at me and I’ll be fine with that. My sisters have conditioned me to that. But if you are being passive aggressive or cheeky in front of me or behind my back, I won’t hesitate … Continue reading I’m not above a fight
I haven’t posted in a while, obviously, and I ain’t gonna explain why because it’s more boring than you think. It’s not like I went on a fucking trip to the Bahamas despite the fact I hope to go there some day if corona ever goes away. But anyways, a lot has happened like me … Continue reading Train wreck of thought
Now, I can’t really talk for the guys on this topic because, being a girl, I have never been to a guys sleepover and no matter how old I am, my mother will never ever let me go to one. So if this is different for guys, if you even play sleepover games, do please … Continue reading Sleepover Games Are Sh!t | Let’s Discuss It
Me, personally, I love languages. I don’t know what it is about them but I find them so interesting because the whole world has different ways of communicating and it makes sense to people despite the fact we have absolutely no clue what they are talking about. To be fair I only know Spanish and English but still. I mean I wish I had the time or the motivation to learn more because it is so awesome, but there are also times where I just think to myself “what the fuck”.
There was a time where there were no languages and then the next day they were just like “ok we need to come up with a way to communicate that everyone will understand” but how did they say that to each other? How did they talk about starting this and using their voices to make words. And I know that a lot of modern languages came from Latin or some shit but how did Latin come around, and if we know what that came from then how did that other language start? There was once just a person that was like ok we need to do this but how the hell. And they were the ones to create the best invention in the world because now we can communicate and thrive.
This might sound a bit stupid but, being the dumb child I was, when I would ask how Spanish people would understand what other people were saying when speaking Spanish, my mum would say “well it’s just their language so they understand it like we do with English” and for some utter shit reason, I thought that meant that they would translate what they said into English and then translate their response back into the language they spoke and then I would be so confused as to why they couldn’t understand us when they have to translate everything into English to understand it. Obviously, I have changed now and actually love languages but how fucking dumb was that. Literally, me thinking that everything revolves around English which is actually kind of does and I feel privileged to be a fluent English speaker, but I was innocent as fuck back then.
That kind of leads me to my next point. Why have we chosen a ‘superior language’? How did we just decide that it would be English? Now, I know that English isn’t the world’s most spoken first language but like pretty much all countries, I think, kind of make you learn English in school as if you wouldn’t succeed without it. I know that I learn languages but it isn’t as stressed as what I would think learning English would be. And English is a fucking hard language. In never fully appreciated how hard it was until a couple of years ago because before I was like “well we don’t even have an accents on our words so it isn’t even that hard” but then I realised that words are spelled and pronounced so differently that it is just ridiculous. I mean who the fuck decided there would be silent letters. Like Pterodactyl. What the fuck is that? Honestly. And then there are the rules like “I before e except after c” but then there are still words that go against that. Honestly, I would give up if I had to learn it. Wait!!! I just remembered one of the most ridiculous words in the English dictionary. Queue. This has to be a joke. You can not tell me that the only letter you pronounce is the very first one while the others are just there for show. Like how the hell is that real. As a person of the English language, I would like to formally apologize for this and I hope this hasn’t fully destroyed your love for languages.
Are there just people who come up with languages though. That’s the thing. And how long did it take for the first speakers to start a language because I mean damn, I can barely speak the language I have known my whole life. Props to them I suppose but I only have one more question for you. Were you on literal drugs when you came up with it because god damn this shit is crazy. But yeah, I suppose that is my questions over for now about how weird languages are. I still love them to be fair but like, they are freaking weird. If anyone is reading this and has had to learn English as a second language, please comment down below and tell us what it was like to you and what other things still confuse and shock you to this day because I am sure there are many. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.
First of all, to the people who are in the comments right now saying “It’s makeup and I, not makeup and me” literally take you Hermione Granger ass outside or “I” will personally make Jeff Bezos land his fucking dick rocket on you. I mean would you slate Marley and Me for the grammar issue? … Continue reading Makeup and Me
The answer is no, but it is also a bit more complicated than that. Do I like the first day of school where everything is new, you get the new time tables, new classes, new teachers? Yes, you could say that. But in general, I really could not be arsed to go back. Lately when … Continue reading Back To School. Could I be bothered?
Because I am SUCH an expert in this field, I am going to talk about all aspects. That directly translates to, I think about this shit a lot and think it would be weird to have “eyebrows, eyelashes, eyes and under eyes” in the title. So I guess we’ll get into it, but first I’m … Continue reading Do You Know What’s Weird? Eyes
So I know this is quite a broad topic guys. I know what I am getting myself into. An existential crisis. But I am ready for it you know. I am ready to question life and everything there is to do about it because… to be honest, I’m bored and don’t have anything else to do, so lets go ahead and get this started together.
Did you know that if all our empty space was taken away from out atoms, a single person would fit into a grain of sand. And did you know that if the whole universe had the space between the atoms taken away that it would fit inside a sugar cube. I mean this bitch really taking grandpa in my pocket to a whole new level. And then also, if you took an atom and made it’s nucleus into the size if a peanut, then the electrons would be the size of a fucking tennis court! I am not even joking with you guys! That is true! To be honest, I think electrons are definitely a “pick me” type of person. Like was there any need to be so large. And also take up so much fucking space. I mean what is the point of that. Does the nucleus have a bloody restriction order from the electrons because I don’t blame it, it seems like a sassy bitch. But like 99.99999999…% of an atom is just empty space but then how the fuck is everything solid. How the actual hell can we not just break things so easily. How are things bloody solid! And if the electrons, protons and neutrons are all just energy how the hell do they come to make something solid and is there some sort of connection between them that means they don’t go out of line. How do they make up everything? Yet are literally pretty much nothing. And how do we know that it is 99.99999999…% empty space? We haven’t gotten anything small enough to be able to see it, yet we literally see this as a fact.
So many things now a days are a theory, but like surely after all this time you would have figured something out as a fact. Like we are just prepared to believe everything aren’t we. If a scientist came out and said “we are all fucking caterpillars who just haven’t turned into butterflies yet!” the world would literally eat it up. We would all go around thinking how crazy it is that we are all caterpillars and then bitches would be going around saying “oh my it all makes sense now. That is why when we die we get angel wings or devil wings” as though it was clear all along. Like the actual fuck! But then there are still people who are like “oh my god get that vaccine away from me! It contains a whole fucking laptop in it that will slowly poison me, make a clone of me, fly to the sun to their secret base and then come back home to eat the hearts of children!”. I think that is why I couldn’t be a nurse or a doctor because I would actually have to just slap them in the face and shout “you actual dumb bitch. You update your fucking Facebook friends every time you take a shit so obviously you aren’t that private. I’m going to have to call a cleaner for all the crap that just came out of your mouth. Why the fuck would we want to track your boring ass anyways? So we can see how long it takes to get to the manager’s office, Karen?! Huh! Don’t flatter yourself bitch”. Wow that went off topic a bit
What other things are kinda weird? Hmm, well I guess this is kinda the same thing but like the beginning of the universe and I guess the universe now. I mean you are telling me that all the mass that has ever been in the universe or ever will be has been here since the very beginning of time. I was there (well, I mean my atoms were) and you and everyone else. The floor you stand on the air you breathe and we were all confined withing a dense ball that just happened to be here somehow. Like how did that mass just happen to become a thing and if matter can’t be created or destroyed then how was it created in the first place?! Answer me that science. Oh and I would like to say that I am not saying this from a religious perspective, it really just boggles my mind. But moving on, like how did it just burst one day and what was it in? What did it burst into? What is outside the walls of the universe? How do we know that the universe is still expanding? Is someone out there looking? Because what if you get to the end and then you are like “what the fuck do we do now?” like are you expecting there to be a door or some guy just walks out like “shit I didn’t think you would get here so early” and then just restart the universe. And what I also have to admit is that, if the world was a whole simulation, I couldn’t give a shit. Like who cares. Nothing else will really change. And if my life happened to be the Truman show, I also wouldn’t care. I mean that would be pretty cool. Everyone knows me, everyone (hopefully) likes me, and most likely I won’t even become broke because they want to make good TV not just a bum on the street. I mean I hardly doubt it is but like what’s the big problem?
So yeah, I guess that is a bit of it. I am sure you know that this isn’t all of everything so I might have to make another post about this on a later date, but, for now, my 99.99999999% empty space, atom made, universe old, Truman show ass is tired, so I will see you later I guess. Don’t forget to like, follow and comment if you liked this type of content. I also just wanted to mention that, if you want, I mean you obviously don’t have to lol, there is a wee space below where you can like donate money to my blog so that I can keep doing this type of stuff in the future. Anything helps, but like if you don’t want to give a stranger money, that’s fine, but maybe you could leave a like or something. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT
Now, if your looking for some sort of “12% of children going into their first year of secondary school with anxiety brought on my the change of school” then you are out of luck bitch bitch there is one thing and one thing only that I will talk about in this post. And what is … Continue reading The Biggest Difference Between Primary and Secondary School
I got my GCSE results yesterday and to be honest, I feel the same fucking way I felt last week. I mean there was no big sigh of relief or weight off my shoulders. I didn’t turn ecstatic, it was just another part of my day. Like it was literally just reading letters on a … Continue reading I Got My Results and I Feel…
I’m just gonna get right into this hoe because I don’t really know what to say as an introduction. Sorry to all my English teachers but guess what? I don’t give a fuck, so I’m gonna get into it and tell you some things that I really want to see some day and I don’t … Continue reading Things I Would Like To See One Day But I Haven’t Yet
Right, hear me out guys. This may sound like utter shite but I swear when you think about it for long enough, it literally makes no fucking sense, or well, at least it is such an amazingly weird thing. There is just a time of day where you could walk down the street and everyone around you, in their houses of course, is sleeping. Like nobody is awake at that moment. The world quite literally shuts down. The lights go out, we are pretty much unconscious, everything is closed except for clubs and really sketchy areas. But it is so weird that half of the world is like “ok, i’m done” and that is relatable as fuck, but again, what the actual hell. And then sleeping itself is a whole thing. I mean we just lie on this cuboid of feathers or cotton and shut our eyes for however long it takes to fall asleep and then BAM you are awake and literally 8 hours have passed (if you’re lucky) and we just act as though that is normal. And it is such a vulnerable moment as well. We are literally lifeless, our eyes closed, and we just vibe as though nobody could break into our house and just stab us or something. Sorry if that gave anyone anxiety, you would wake up in time don’t worry
But what is it with sleeping. Like why is it that we have to literally sleep in the dark and get all comfy in a bed and shit, while animals literally have to sleep in shit and the cold and they just vibe. Yes you could say they have fur but like we have clothes and we still have to have a bloody sun in our room to fall asleep. To be honest, I would be so raging if I was an animal and couldn’t sleep under a blanket. I would have to become one of those dogs you see on tiktok that are so cute and literally wrap themselves up in their blanket and you realise how dumb your dog actually is because they literally walk into a glass window even if it is all smudgy 😐 But imagine how scary it would be if you were like the first living thing on earth and it was getting dark and you were with your mates and all of a sudden you were like “bro bro BRO I can’t keep my eyes open” and they were like “bro what?!” and you were like “my eyelids are like heavy or something bro! I’m seeing darkness and shit”. “Bro that’s so cra… OH SHIT BRO my eyes are heavy too!” and then you be screaming and you and your friend just conk out and in the morning you are like “shit bro! It’s bright again. My eyes aren’t even heavy? Bro, are we… dead” and your friend is like “I don’t know bro, but then again I am literally just a cell so… I mean I didn’t even know we had eyes until a couple of hours ago”. The end. I really have no clue what these stories even are. I mean what the even fuck. Please do say if I am going too far but like, I don’t give a shit so.
Back on topic though. Our body has literally evolved to be like “ok so we kinda need to not work for a couple of hours, but like, we will also be working even harder than usual if that’s ok with you” and we just accept it like “yeah I trust you to keep me alive while I literally have no control over anything” and then our body is like “nice! As a thank you we are going to give you magical stories during the night that will make your actual life seem like actual shit and you will be depressed that it is gone. But if we accidentally give you a good one, we will delete it from your memory in a split second. Thanks again.” and we just like “that doesn’t sound fun at all actually. Maybe I should just stay up because I mean you still work when I am asleep anyways so…” and then our body is like “bitch Imma give you a headache if you don’t go to bed ok! And I’m going to make you feel so tired that you won’t be able to do nothing else BITCH”. Like it’s weird but like ok. And I know that there is all kinds of science behind sleeping and why we do it, but if we just forget science for a teeny tiny moment and just have a teeny tiny existential crisis, sleeping is so confusing and crazy.
Then there are the people who feel like they are literal Jesus or something and they go frolicking around saying “I don’t even need sleep man. It’s just a ploy that mattress companies put in our head. I mean I haven’t slept in like 3 days man and look at me, I’m toooottaaallly fine dude *looks like an old sac of skin with some no life behind his eyes* America is the land of the free do I don’t even have to listen to all that science shit you know” and these people are also always anti-maskers and anti-vax people who think they are revolutionary but are really just paranoid and self-conscious. Can’t you die from a lack of sleep though? I mean it sounds quite dramatic if you ask me. You seriously are about to just shut down because I wouldn’t close my eyes for a few hours, what are you? A baby. I mean come on. And also one last thing that I am completely pissed about everyday. Why the hell am I still tired after sleeping?! Was that not enough for you body because it seems like you be needing a lot of shit these days. You need sleep, you need exercise, you need fed, you need sun, you need water, you need rest, you need washed, you need every fucking thing in the world and you know what? I’m sick of it to be quite frank with you.
LOL anyways that was quite the rant today wasn’t it. I hope you are all have a great time during summer, or if you are still in school I hope you are coping ok. Surely it is nearly over right? Well depending on when you read this. Maybe you are some sort of galactic alien who randomly snatched a phone for some reason typed “do you know what is weird? Sleep” and if that is you, alien, give them their fucking phone back bitch. Cha anyways, I hope you have a good day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT
I would just like to say sorry for any existential crisis that might come from this post, so I warned you I guess. This one can go pretty deep if I do say so myself, but I am going to get started before it all goes through my head, but none of it actually on the screen, so yeah. Enjoy my mental breakdown.
It’s funny how time is literally a social construct that somebody just made up one day. Like it must have been millions of years ago that a cave man was like “sdofhakganakljwfj” oh wait, let me translate that for you “hey bro, I kinda feel like we should measure the days” and the other one was like “why?” and then he was like “well, I dunno *kicks the ground awkwardly*. I just kinda think that making plans would be easier instead of just saying to meet at the dinosaur bones whenever this burning light in the sky is at the right hand side of the blue air. Every time I check I just go blind again”. And then boom, they just made time. But the thing is, time isn’t a real thing. Yes we know the definition but like time was made up. Seconds, minutes, hours, were just made by someone to make our lives more convenient. It is a bloody construct that the whole bloody world lives by and yet I have so many questions.
First of all, how can some people think that time has gone by really quickly, while others think it moved so slowly. The same amount of time passed, but for some it was as if it was sped up, but in that same moment while someone thinks everything is going so fast, someone thinks it is going really slow, as if it was in slow-mo. And both happen at the same time. I don’t really know how to explain it in words, but like time is whatever we perceive it to be, yet there is only one set time. And I don’t know why I find it weird, but when I say something like “uh this week has gone so slowly” and they are like “it’s actually been quite quick for me”, it just sends me into a spiral and I am like “what is this world” and then I go on and on like what the actual fuck is time anyways. It is literally nothing, it is made up, yet it makes up everything, we use it for everything. We blame it for so much, like death, yet it isn’t even a thing. Time can’t kill you, but we say it does. Time isn’t anything.
And in reality, we can’t say “time travel is impossible” because time isn’t even a thing. How can you travel in something made up? We could magically tell the world to put their clocks forward 4 hours and that is technically time travel because we moved the time forward, the thing we made for the world to live by. But the time travel that we talk about is actually just wanting to go to more developed particles. We want to see what everything looks like when particles have changed and moved. So it isn’t time we want to travel, but movement. And when they released something on the news the other day saying “scientists have found a dimension that is moving back in time”, what it really means is that it moves in a different way. I know I sound absolutely mental, but I just don’t really know how to word it but please comment below if you understand what I mean.
But like, we say we can’t control time, yet we made it. In reality we can change time, but we can’t change the movement of the earth. We can’t speed up the development of everything around us. It is just weird to think about how this thing we all plan our day around, was made up. It’s a concept. It’s not like gravity where the world would fall apart if we didn’t have it, or that it was always there we just hadn’t named it. If time ‘disappeared’, everything would carry on. Nobody would die from it, the earth wouldn’t be blasted into a million pieces. We don’t need it to survive. Yes it’s very convenient, but imagine what life would be like if we didn’t have it. What would change? But genuinely, that is a question. So much would change, yet nothing at all would change. Maybe we would all still be judging it off of shadows or the position of the sun in the sky. Maybe society would fall apart because we can’t organise things and be ‘on time’ to things. It’s freaky how something made up, makes up everything.
There are so many other things that I think about time. So many thins that I literally can’t describe, but hopefully somebody read this and was like “this is exactly what I think too” and it is so crazy and confusing, that it kind of makes sense. It is so complex, but so simple. It is so scary, yet so reliable. Ok, I definitely think I have gone insane, but I hope you guys are looking forward to this new series “Do you know what’s crazy” because there are so many things that we have normalised that, in reality, makes no fucking sense. Anyways, I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT