My Life Is an Unsuccessful Netflix Show

I don’t know what to call this feeling, but you know when you get a sudden realisation that this is in fact real life. Like you aren’t gonna start into a new season or a new episode of a show. You are just gonna start the next day with the same problems, the same things to think about, the same responsibilities blah blah blah.

It happened to me just the other day because I recently got a new job and the first two shifts have been great but then one morning when I was getting changed I saw the uniform and was like shit, I really gotta do this for a while now. It’s weird though because it isn’t like I hate the job, I mean, I literally only started it, but I just realised that I need to continue working. It felt like that had been an episode of my life and that I would move on from it and it would just not be mentioned anymore. But no, I have the future to “look forward” to.

Advertisements

That sounds mad depressing but like it’s just kinda weird for real. It’s almost as though I have become too “in the moment” that I forget there is anything outside of that moment. Now I’m not great for words so tell me if this makes any sense whatsoever, but I feel a bit unreal if you get me. Not as if I am a ghost looking down at myself, or as somebody watching a TV show of me, but like a VR headset. I know I’m in my body but then I realise that this is fucking life and that my actions have consequences.

Listen, I’m not doing anything bad if that’s what you are thinking. I’m not some sort of murderer who is now online like “whoops so I made a mistake”. It’s just like, for example, I signed up for a job, I got the job, and now I still gotta do it. Like it isn’t an achievement or level that I’ve unlocked or passed. This is quite literally real life.

When I say my life is like a TV show, it isn’t that I have a bunch of interesting stuff going on or any big plot twists. I’m quite literally the most basic bitch you’ll find. I’m mentally fucked, I’m blonde, blue eyes, not really pretty but not really ugly, chatty but also can’t start a conversation, that kind of situation your know.

Oh shit… I’m that one “main character”, not like the other girls, pick me bitch. Wow, I hate that but I swear I’m not trying to make myself sound like that. Wow… I instantly despise everything I say.

Advertisements

Anyways, I think what I tried to get across was that I don’t think my life is a series because it’s exciting or thrilling. I mean I’m no Kardashian (great show btw highly recommend and I’m not ashamed to say it). It’s just that I forget that this is real life.

That was a hectic wee post I guess. A little bit of a brain dump to be honest. I have been quite busy lately with all this bloody A level exams and shit. I’m really not even sure if this post made any sense but I’m hoping somebody understands me or can direct me to the closest psych ward? Lol, anyway, I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.


Advertisements

Advertisements
Advertisements
One-Time
Monthly
Yearly

Make a one-time donation

Make a monthly donation

Make a yearly donation

Choose an amount

£3.00
£9.00
£60.00
£3.00
£9.00
£60.00
£3.00
£9.00
£60.00

Or enter a custom amount

£

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

DonateDonate monthlyDonate yearly
Advertisements

Do You Know What’s Weird? | Plants are alive

Now please don’t think I’m some sort of alien conspiracy bitch, like I understand that plants are a living thing because I went to school (not in the USA) and did biology (again, not in the USA) so I would say I know a thing or two. I also think about things too much which usually gets regurgitated into a blog post and that is exactly what this is. But what got me thinking about this random shit? Well, my dad, an avid David Attenborough fan, was watching green planet, or whatever one was out recently, and was raving about this one plant that was weird as hell. Yes, I know, we have the best conversations. But let’s talk about it today.

Contents
1. The Glow Up
2. Ironic Names
3. They Got A Whole Ass Personality
4. How Are They Not Conscious Beings
5. Some Are Omnivores
6. House Plants
Advertisements

1. The Glow Up

Evolution hit them like a ton of bricks, literally no lie. Obviously, like humans, some didn’t get hit so hard (*cough*daisies*cough*literal grass*cough*), but fuck me there is a good handful of them that literally changed like there was no tomorrow. The one that my dad showed me, and I won’t tell you the name yet because I’m leaving that for the next sub-topic, was so freaking advanced that it may as well be the Elon Musk of the plant kingdom. Just always one step ahead of everyone. Also like Elon, I have a suspicion it’s some sort of robot.

Advertisements

Tell me why this plant literally slithers around to find this plant and grows fucking bladders so that it can steal the water and also the little bugs that for some reason are created in this plant. They deadass just steal the plant’s food and fuck off before they can do anything about it. How raging would you be? Like you got your rainwater and little dead animals all ready to eat, but then this greedy bitch comes, grows fucking bladders, and the next second it’s all gone! The audacity.

Advertisements

Honestly, though, it’s so weird how plants have evolved to do such weird things. Like it’s unbelievable. They are resilient as fuck because they can grow anywhere and just thrive in harsh conditions. And what do we do? Fucking cry if they gave us the wrong 12″ pizza? Goddamn. It must have taken so long though and I still don’t even know how they learned what they need to do because they don’t have a mind. I get the whole “survival of the fittest” type shit, but how do they know to go to this plant and grow these separate organs and then grow hairs that detect when they need to chomp on a little bug.

I mean I was shocked when I found out sunflowers turn their head to face the sun, but that means nothing to me now.

Advertisements

2. Ironic Names

I think it’s absolutely hilarious how people name plants. They must be top comedians because the amount of shit they come up with is so funny. From the plant I described above, what would you think it’s called? Some sort of heroic name or just something that sounds pretty classy, like maybe… right well I don’t know, but something cool that’s for sure. And now guess what they called it. If you said “bladder wart”, you are, firstly a cheater, but also a winner.

Advertisements

It’s the height of disrespect honestly. It’s like calling superman, just “man”, or calling the hulk, “booger wart”. Like it isn’t right. Did a child name it? That’s the only way I could excuse it because when I hear the word bladder wart, I would be thinking of driving that person to the hospital for a check-up cause that sounds nasty. It is ironic, and maybe poetic, to hear such an amazingly adapted plant be called such a dumb fucking name.

Advertisements

There are also some names that are kinda perfect because the flower is so irrelevant and insignificant that they didn’t even give their names the time of day. Like a sunflower, I mean what the fuck is that? I can guarantee you the decision went like this:

Advertisements

person 1: ahh, I’ve found another plant, it’s amazing
person 2: meh, it’s kinda shit really
person 1: yeah you’re right actually… We’ve still gotta name it though
person 2: awk for fuck sake *sigh* just call it… a fuckin’… a sunflower I fucking hate my job

Somebody go check the history books because I’m pretty sure that was spot on

Advertisements

3. They Got A Whole Ass Personality

No joke they’ve got more of a personality than half the people in my school. These hoes don’t stop for nobody. They give me very much “motivational talker who tells you to not give a fuck about anyone but yourself” kinda vibe. And I respect that. However, they also give me “two-faced snake” vibes. Sure they look pretty but underneath they’ve got this whole network of roots. I never thought anything of it until my mum and dad were talking about how they were worried the tree outside was getting too big (yep, I’m an eco bitch) and I was like “why is that bad?” and they deadass went on to say it could destroy our house. I’m sorry but what the fuck? I’d love to see that honestly.

Advertisements

I suppose they do go through a lot so we can’t blame their attitude. We will literally turn them into a fucking treehouse, chop them down, make them into a literal bookcase filled with pages that are also made out of themselves, and climb all over them like it’s nobody’s business.

Advertisements

4. How Are They Not Concious Beings?

It’s hard to wrap your head around the fact they have evolved to do such amazing things, but it’s even crazier to think that they aren’t really conscious beings like we are. Sure they are classified as a living thing but they don’t have a brain or any thoughts (that we know of :o) and yet they still just do this shit because of cells and science shit.

Advertisements

You can’t tell me it there isn’t any “Inside Out” business going on in there because I could imagine a little plant anger or a little plant joy. They are quite literally smarter than some of the guys in my year. I’m no David Attenborough but I sure as hell would prefer the company of a literal plant than other people.

Advertisements

It is just amazing and crazy though when you think about it. Like they’ll find an obstacle and be like “oh shit ok let’s go this way instead” or, in terms of a venus flytrap, they have pretty much a built in timer that helps them figure out the difference between a bug and everything else. No joke, venus flytraps have this thing where they only shut if they sense something within 20 seconds of each other so that it doesn’t just close on a raindrop or something. There is also this other plant that looks so pretty but literally has this gel like thing on the spikes that makes any insects that go on it stick and it will deadass curl them up and the gel will literally digest them. Imagine seeing that happen! Imagine being that fly!

Advertisements

5. Some are Omnivores

Plants really switched it up on this one because on the food chain we see plants as literally the primary producers, so they convert the sunlight into energy and then an animal comes, eats them and then get’s that energy. But in some cases that bitch is a fucking consumer. They really pulled it out of the bag with that one and honestly I respect that. Like it’s a two way system and if one doesn’t like being eaten then the got to work something out.

Advertisements

They really do be getting their revenge like they are fucking Bruce Wayne. They snack on a whole fly and then carry on as a pretty piece of nature. Do you know how many plants just murdered something right before they were put on camera in a photo or TV show. Like that is some crazy shit. LOL don’t think I’m crazy, it’s a joke, but I find it hilarious how nobody appreciates that plants, quite literally not a conscious being, eats a fucking living, conscious thing. Well, I don’t really know if insects have thought tbh? Wow that’s gonna keep me up at night

Advertisements

6. House Plants

And lastly, it’s important to touch on the real warriors of the planet, house plants. You think you got it rough? Pfft, try being dehydrated and forgotten for weeks. These hoes are like the depressed middle child. Miserable, forgotten, but always loved. So shoutout to all the plants that died of dehydration! You are a real one. You really light up the room. You made us all feel better about ourselves and made us feel like we could accomplish something in life. Sorry that we forgot you, but you shall always be remembered… not really.

Advertisements

I actually am growing plants at the moment. Bonsai trees to be exact. Like I literally got it for Christmas and I’m quite excited. The thing is only one has actually started to grow and it’s been 2 weeks, but it says it could be 3 weeks so we’ll not panic yet. I feel like I’ll have to name them but I’ll do that later once I’ve gotten to see them. The on I have at the moment is kinda crazy on the top like a palm tree, so I’m either gonna call it Pam or Sideshow Bob. What do you think?

Advertisements

And there we have it. To all those people who were thinking “how the fuck could someone write a whole fucking post about how plants are weird?” I just did it bitch. And now I’ve got you equally as freaked out by plants. Thank you so much for reading this though and I would love if you could like, comment, give a cheeky little donation so I can keep posting and follow for more content like this every other day (or at least I try). I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

Advertisements

Advertisements

Advertisements

The Story Of The Phrase That Changed My Life

Let me set the scene for you real quick. It’s 4.30am. You’re at the airport. You’re at the back of a long line for a service that hasn’t even opened yet. An hour ago you were asleep or at least just woken up by your alarm so you kinda feel like you’re in some sort… Continue Reading →

19 Reasons Why | The USA Have To Listen

I know a lot of my posts are usually just for the shits and giggles and I try to make light of situations going on because that’s how I express my thoughts, but there is no way this could ever be flipped into some sort of joke. There is not one thing about this that… Continue Reading →

Have You Amber Heard About This?

It comes as no shock that there is currently a trial between Johnny Depp and Amber Heard. Just to clear things up, Amber Heard is an actor… mostly. But for real I have never seen or heard of her ever before. I’m pretty sure Johnny said she was on Aquaman or something. All you need… Continue Reading →

Advertisements
One-Time
Monthly
Yearly

Make a one-time donation

Make a monthly donation

Make a yearly donation

Choose an amount

£3.00
£9.00
£60.00
£3.00
£9.00
£60.00
£3.00
£9.00
£60.00

Or enter a custom amount

£

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

DonateDonate monthlyDonate yearly
Advertisements

These Brands Are Getting Way Out Of Hand

Advertisements

Up until last month, I used to think that Corona was the worst thing that happened to us but fuck me this is 10 times worse. I mean I know the pandemic was tough but this has ruined my whole entire life and all of my memories. It makes me physically ill to talk about so be blessed you get to read this post. So prepare yourself guys because I’m about to reveal what is going on. The problem is… the pringles logo😱

New and old pringles logo
Advertisements

I’m sorry but they really did him dirty. Like what the actual hell were they thinking. He looks literally depressed or as though he just saw something he shouldn’t have. The guy has been absolutely ROBBED of his hair. Did he have kids? Is he papa Pringle now? There better be a good fucking reason because this is not my Pringle man. Literally, where did these eyebrows come from? Maybe he looked in the mirror because he got the same reaction as us. It really hurts my soul that this innocent man has been literally been taken advantage of like this. Don’t fix something that isn’t broken.

Advertisements

But the thing is their excuse for this monstrosity. I kid you not they were saying it’s because they want to appeal to Gen Zs by being more minimalistic. Don’t put the blame on me bitch. I don’t claim any of this. Like why fix something that isn’t broken? It just doesn’t make sense. Maybe we like a minimalist house or designer shit but we love a good classic. Our generation is so anxiety-ridden that we love to see the same old shit as normal. That’s why we rewatch friends and the office. We like to be comforted by the things we already know and have known all our life.

Advertisements

Oh but don’t think that this is only pringles. Nah, I’m gonna expose all these hoes. Let’s start with our old friend Doritos who have sadly been through an identity crisis and now think they are the YouTube play button

New and old Doritos logo
Advertisements

I’m sorry you had to see that but you must be aware of the truth. You can’t excuse that. That’s basically a crime against humanity and when I see my therapist I am going to show him this photo and I won’t have to say anything else. It’s like he grew up and lost all personality. Get Doritos on some counselling now because that’s not healthy. I don’t recognize this brand. It was so full of life and Gad hopes for the future. It gave me hope but now it gives me “what is the point of anything if we all die eventually”.

Advertisements

Guys, I just searched up new and old logos and I genuinely feel like I need to hide out in a bunker until this madness passes. Look at what Burger King is doing

New and old Burger King logo
Advertisements

Who can I call to sue Burger King for this? Like… it was a joke up until now. What were they on when they were coming up with this? The only reason this would make sense is if they had an intern who was freaking out when they asked him to come up with a new logo or if they were high off their heads and going through some sort of mid-life crisis. I would love to see what their sales are like now because I’m ready to boycott them no joke. It’s actually becoming a global crisis and it needs to be stopped. They can’t take our childhood away from us because that was a good time in my life. I want my kids to live with the original Mr Pringle because they may not see a fucking polar bear or some shot so at least give them the OG packaging. Get your priorities straight bitch.

Advertisements

This actually does sadden me and it doesn’t stop so I’m going to go and cry now. So yeah I’ll leave you with that and if you can get in touch with any of the people guilty of this crime then do send them this. Comment down below what you guys think and if you actually like them. If you do I would get that checked out, to be honest. But yeah don’t forget to like and subscribe also. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

Advertisements

Advertisements
Advertisements
One-Time
Monthly
Yearly

Make a one-time donation

Make a monthly donation

Make a yearly donation

Choose an amount

£3.00
£9.00
£60.00
£3.00
£9.00
£60.00
£3.00
£9.00
£60.00

Or enter a custom amount

£

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

DonateDonate monthlyDonate yearly
Advertisements

I Have No Concept of Time At All

This is no joke guys. I have run into many awkward encounters because I have lost all concept of time. You know, I would have thought this was normal if we were in the middle of our first lockdown, but that ship sailed ages ago and I am back to a strict schedule and yet I don’t know what fucking year it is. I suppose November has always been a weird transition month but the thing is, it isn’t only the time of day or the day of the week that I get mixed upon, it is quite literally my entire past and present memories that are all jumbled up. It’s like I had been carefully compiling all my memories in an orderly fashion but then my brain got fed up and just threw everything everywhere so now I have no clue what the fuck is going on. Let me tell you a few stories to help you understand.

Advertisements

I like to call this story “The Pantomime”, and here is why. So it was my best friends birthday last month and I knew it was coming up. I have always been crap with birthdays but this time I was so proud of myself and I was so ready, I had it in my mind that her party was not very long before her birthday so I was prepared. Then a few days before the party we went bowling and there was a wee arcade bit. So OBVIOUSLY we had to go on the tiny car racing games. This one was actually tiny, not the normal big ones, so I was laughing at my friend like “I’m 16 and you are almost 17 and look what we are playing lol what is life” and she deadass went “I am 17”. If that was a real car I would have gone straight into a wall because I was not ready for that answer. I was just like “but your birthday’s on the 26th” and she was like “yeah, it’s the 30th” so here I am holding my worst friend of the year award while being completely mind boggled about what day it was. Like it was as if someone just said I was in 2050 or some shit because I suddenly had no concept of time. Oh, and I called it the pantomime because it was behind me. It is a shite name in hinsight but just accept it.

Advertisements

Anyways, the next story I am going to call “age is just a number”. So I was playing football, or soccer for the americans, in PE, as one does. But I overheard my sister talking to one of our friends and they were just having a wee bit of banter as per usual. She is actually a year younger than us but still in our year because she moved over from England and there is just a whole thing that doesn’t matter, but yeah she is younger than us. And I heard my sister go like “damn must be embarrassing to look 13” and I was kinda tripped out like “you scared me a bit there because I swore she was 14” because at that point I was bad at stuff like birthdays and ages anyways so like I was just glad I didn’t think she was 13 in real life. But then my sister and her starting confused laughing and I’m like what? And they go on to say “she literally isn’t 14, she’s literally 15” and I was like “what! since when were you the same age as us that is so fucking mad” and they must not have heard me because then a day or so later I was kinda still thinking about it and then I was like “shit, I’m 16”. How dumb is that! Like I would work out her age by the fact she is one year younger than us and I genuinely believed I was 15 and my world just changed.

Advertisements

Why is that though because I swear if I wasn’t really close with those people my friend’s would be dropping like flies. It really just is not ok. Maybe it’s because I had been thinking about these things so much and for so long that I never realised that it passed and I still had the feeling of it coming up even when it had come and gone. It could also just be classic ‘rona making every day mush into the same. I always seem to get that feeling at night when I am washing my face. Kinda like a coming of age movie where there is a clip of his morning routine played multiple times in increasing speeds to show how boring his life was in school. That basically is how I feel every night and it is quite depressing I have to admit but I guess it is what it is.

Advertisements

I think we all get those times where it feels like a Friday but it’s really a Tuesday and your whole schedule gets messed up and you literally nearly miss everything you had to do because you barely remember that you must breathe at least once every 2 minutes or you will quite literally die. And that’s a fact. Is it bad that there have been times where I’ve been like “when was the last tme I took a breathe”. Like deadass not even breathing through my nose or anything. There is just no time for that silly business. I should probably work on that to be honest. But it has never really been a problem for me. Pre-covid I was organised and got all my homeworks done the day I got them (which is actually more deep than it sounds cause that really fucked me up lol). But now things just sneak up on me. I don’t even procrastinate that much either. Sure I’ll watch the odd extra tiktok but that is the maximum procrastination for me… I think. I’m not even busy or one of those people who are like active and social as fuck and are just like “I just don’t know where the time goes lol” and away they are for their midnight 10k run.

Advertisements

This past year really has just gone so down hill in every single way and I actually can’t even be bothered trying to stop it. I’m just sitting back and watching the edge of the cliff get closer and closer. If it stops, it stops. If it doesn’t, it doesn’t. And I live by that to be honest. As long as people know that I do genuinely care about their birthdays and making them feel special then hopefully they won’t think I’m that much of a bitch and we’ll be fine.

Advertisements

My question is, how did they cope with this in the fucking dark-ages or whatever because they didn’t have bloody google calendar sending you a fuck load of notifactions about what you had on that day as though it was a ticking time bomb. You’d have to know by the direction of the fucking sun and that is no use in the UK. And I couldn’t tell myself to work events backwards in my mind to figure out what day it is because I literally can’t tell the difference between what I did yesterday, or the week before, to today. Am I literally going out of my mind or is this type of behaviour actually normal? Should I be calling a doctor lol? Here’s me calling just like “hey so like what the fucking is my problem” and they just like “you ust a shitty person” and I’m like “ah ok thanks”. Thank god for free healthcare am I right 😮

Anyways, that was just my wee update I suppose. Please like, follow, and comment down below what things have happened to in regards to your messed up sense of time, or are you a human calendar that is like “damn do you remember on the 16th January 2006 when we literally saw that one blade of grass…” and you just have you shit together? Comment below I guess. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

Advertisements

Advertisements

Advertisements
Kitchen or war the womens crossword animated modern sleek blog cover photo

Kitchen or War | The Women’s Crossroad

Please let me tell you that I am in fact a girl! I am not some man that is about to start slabbering about how women are supposed to make everyone a fucking sandwich and look after their kids while the man is at war. I also want to say that this is light-hearted and… Continue Reading →

a roaring 20's themed war 2020 memorial image with memories and news of recent

The Raging 20’s, Is It an Inevitable Disaster?

I’m sorry, but between my last post and this one, we have literally gone through a war. That’s not even a joke sadly enough. Corona is kinda fading away (except the Queen has joined the Corona Club) but then we gotta keep the drama alive so we start into world war 3! Sounds like a… Continue Reading →

Is Texting A Ticking Time Bomb?

From the perspective of a 16-year-old girl, I would have to say yes, texts are a ticking time bomb. Call me old fashioned, but honestly, I don’t trust that shit. They are so unpredictable. Now I could lie to you and say that is the reason I don’t text people much, but the plain truth… Continue Reading →

Advertisements
One-Time
Monthly
Yearly

Make a one-time donation

Make a monthly donation

Make a yearly donation

Choose an amount

£3.00
£9.00
£60.00
£3.00
£9.00
£60.00
£3.00
£9.00
£60.00

Or enter a custom amount

£

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

DonateDonate monthlyDonate yearly
Advertisements

Do You Know What’s Weird? We Control Everything

In this post, I was originally going to talk about how the hour change is such a weird thing but then when I was thinking about what to talk about I just got into a spiral of how us humans basically run and control the world. Not as in like there is a control panel to change the direction the earth turns or some shit but as in we literally control everything in it. Like it is so fucking weird if you think about it and that is what we are going to do today. Also, I’m not gonna get into politics shit or anything like that because I know people are gonna be like “you’re right we need our freedom” and all that shit but I am just genuinely interested and amazed by this realisation of mine.

Advertisements

A planet doesn’t come with a user manual. Like there isn’t a massive book of earth management that we look at to see how to settle arguments or have a fucking safe society. We had to just figure that out. Like we had to create a solid foundation and create fucking rules and schedules for shit. Time didn’t exist in a sense. It was a thing I suppose, but only when we came up with seconds, minutes, hours and all that crap. Like that was something made up. They just needed structure and control so we were like fuck it and just created a clock. It isn’t something that came with earth.

Advertisements

And we just change that shit up twice a year. I am not really sure what countries do this, but we do in the UK, where we turn back the clock an hour or forward an hour depending on the time of year. Literally no joke. And it is literally because of fucking farmers. Like it makes sense because they want more light in the morning but who knew they could hold so much power. I can just imagine a bunch of culchies coming down with their cows and being like “you need to change the time for this whole country so that I can work in the light” and the bloody “time worker” person just looking at them like what the fuck why don’t you just wake up later or just work your timetable around the darkness and then them just being there like “Nah but like I still want the times to be the same you know. I don’t want to wake up or go to bed 1 hour earlier or later each year”. What the fuck do you think you are gonna miss? A cuppa tea. Like we literally change the time like it is nothing. The whole concept of time is just chucked out the window.

Advertisements

I think a good way to describe what I am thinking about is almost as if the earth is just a big fucking TV show. Like I could imagine it as either the show that has 10 teens/kids living in a house by themselves for a week or like some sort of reality TV show that goes to shit. We just have no clue how to function or keep any form of control and we are just trying to figure out what the hell is going on. They are dividing into groups, starting fights, destroying everything and getting pissed when they can’t fix it again. We are just a bunch of people given free rein to do anything. There are no goals, rules or anything and we are just trying to figure out our next move.

Advertisements

It’s so weird to think of it like that though and I could so easily go into thinking “what is the point of humans” and that can get messy real quick, but it also amazes me because we just choose to ignore that fact. We are tiny spots of matter floating in nothingness with no real aim and we can really just control whatever the fuck we do next because there isn’t any expectation or form of monitoring. We, as a whole, can make the world be whatever the hell we want it to be. What about we all live in bloody treehouses and have literal tigers as pets? What if we create a time of day where everyone is legally allowed a nap hour? We can do that shit. It isn’t like some overlord is gonna open up the sky and be like “that’s against the rule 14358”. Literally, everything created in this world, whether it is a social construct, concept or physical item has just been made up to create some sort of order and reason for existence.

Advertisements

We have literally done dot to dot in the night sky and then named that shit. People really thought they were doing something when they were like “that looks like a fucking lion”. I mean where they off their heads or something because that looks like literally nothing at all. I mean clouds I guess but stars?! That’s pushing it a bit. We could have no homelessness or hunger in the world but they are like “it is so expensive” but like that isn’t a real excuse because we made money. We don’t NEED it in a sense. Like why can’t we just do it? Build more houses, improve the environment and teach people how to farm and stuff. Why can’t we agree as a planet that this is important and we can all join in together to do it? It isn’t that hard. And I know we need to pay for labour and shit but I am sure we could work something out. Like if you help us build these houses then we will give you one for free or something like that.

Advertisements

I suppose it got a bit controversial at the end but I just wanted to get across the idea that the world doesn’t have rules and we have just created it because we think it helps. Not everything is a solid fact or necessity but we have just been taught to accept it. But we are just humans flying through nothingness and it really just isn’t that deep. I hope you found that interesting and that you like, follow and comment on what you think about this topic. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

Advertisements

Advertisements

Advertisements
the power of apps technology blue and purple blue personal blog featured image

The power of apps

This could possibly be my most dumb fucking post because I know I’m about to sound like I’m some sort of old bitch who just discovered the internet, but honestly, I just think of a lot of random crap and I like to share it, whether you like it or not. I mean, if you… Continue Reading →

do you know what's weird plants are living periodt blogs featured image natural wildlife and plants graphics

Do You Know What’s Weird? | Plants are alive

Now please don’t think I’m some sort of alien conspiracy bitch, like I understand that plants are a living thing because I went to school (not in the USA) and did biology (again, not in the USA) so I would say I know a thing or two. I also think about things too much which… Continue Reading →

Why Does Nobody Appreciate A Bargain?

POV: it’s Saturday. You are with a friend on the train and because we are so spontaneous we say “hey, why don’t we go to Botanic instead?”. You feel crazy because you are now getting off one stop later, what a rush. You go around and live the quirky life you desired as you shop… Continue Reading →

Advertisements
One-Time
Monthly
Yearly

Make a one-time donation

Make a monthly donation

Make a yearly donation

Choose an amount

£3.00
£9.00
£60.00
£3.00
£9.00
£60.00
£3.00
£9.00
£60.00

Or enter a custom amount

£

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

DonateDonate monthlyDonate yearly
Advertisements

Do You Know What’s Weird? Eyes

Because I am SUCH an expert in this field, I am going to talk about all aspects. That directly translates to, I think about this shit a lot and think it would be weird to have “eyebrows, eyelashes, eyes and under eyes” in the title. So I guess we’ll get into it, but first I’m gonna switch it up by giving you my inspiration for this post which is so motivational that Emma Watson is quaking. So here it is. I always sit down really low in my chair because I am always exhausted and too fucking lazy to sit up straight, so therefore I have a shocking posture, but that is besides the point. And being the self-critical bitch that I am, I tend to look in the mirror in front of me quite often, despite the fact I have realised I can only see my eyes and everything above it. So, therefore I see my under eyes are dark as shit, and eyebrows confuse me and also help me show my confusion at the same time which is weird and more confusing. Thank you for listening to my TED talk and let’s get into it.

Advertisements

Let’s start from the bottom to the top. Under eyes. First of all, why the hell are all these names so basic. I mean like we have fucking wenis and tongue and bloody shin but we can’t make a name for the things around our eye. Like we literally named one after a fucking animal (calf), or at least that’s what I like to think it’s named after. If we could change the name of these, I would call under eyes vision pits. Why? Well, I got the vision from the function of the eye, duh. And I got pits from arm pits and stuff like that. Fight me about it, I dare you. But yeah, what I find weird about vision pits is that they change colour. Where the fuck is the need? Like in all honesty, why do we need that to happen. Doesn’t all our functions serve a purpose or something? How come, after million years of evolution, we kept this. And it doesn’t even work well. It shows when we are tired, but also after we had a massive nap. I mean I don’t think they have gone away since I was born and they literally get worse everyday. Is it a flaw in how people work because the only reason I could think is that other people can tell if you are tired or sick or some shit, but nowadays it kinda just goes like “oh my days, you look really tired, you should go to bed right now!” and I’d be like “no fucking joke Karen. I haven’t slept in days and it is literally 2PM, I am still in your fucking class and you just set me 2 hours of homework. So what the hell do you want me to do about it?! Do you not think I already fucking know this information?”

Advertisements

So now to move onto the next thing, eyelashes. Or as I like to call them, snake shields. Now, they aren’t literally what the name will suggest because, well obviously. But I named it that because, while I understand they are supposed to protect stuff from getting into our eyes, why do they always seem to get in my eye themselves. Like for real you had one job. But we can’t really blame them, can we. What are 20 strands of short hair supposed to do. Maybe it will stop a crumb or two if I were to be suddenly hit with a packet of digestives coming from directly above and below me, but if I were to get a bloody shower, I can promise you that shampoo would be getting in there. It’s so dumb. It might do more than I realise, like stops the tears from tripping ever second. It’s as if you made a sausage dog your guard. Yeah they may look nice but when they need to be used, they don’t do shit. Make it make sense. And it hurts like a bitch when it gets in your eye which is literally every second of the day. But then you blink a few times and it goes away. What are they? A fucking magician? A hoover? Where the hell do they go? There just like everyone in my school. You think they are nice but they stab you in the back like the snakes they are. But I have one last thing to say about eye lashes before I move on. Why did they become something lucky. I mean, I would bet some creep just made it up on the spot when he was watching someone sleep or something and they were like
“*wakes up* what the fuck are you doing, Chris!”
“*panic* ummm… you have an eyelash on your cheek”
“so? What should I give a fuck when you are watching me sleep!”
“b b because it.. it.. it’s LUCKY! Yup, it’s really lucky. *picks it up with his finger* Now make a wish and blow!”
Like it does sound like some bullshit excuse for something. Maybe not the exact scenario I just described, but it sounds dumb as hell. But will I continue to do it? (with my own eyelashes of course) Most likely.

Advertisements

Eyes. Or as they are also referred as, eyeballs. You see, this is a basic name but I don’t mind it. It has some character to it. It’s just fun to say and anything else would just feel weird. Like we literally gave one of the greatest functioning organ of the body a fucking dumb name. They started off strong with the eye because it is spelt a bit quirky, but they just gave up afterwards and were just like fuck it, eyeball. I don’t really have anything to stay about the eyeball. It is just confusing because it does so much in so little time. Like it does a half ass job with having the images upside down meaning the brain has to finish the job and they do mean I have to look at your dumb ass. But I like them. They also don’t work for a lot of us meaning we have to look through fucking glass for the rest of our life, but it’s fine, it’s a look… 10 years ago. Actually, I think I have a lot of beef with eyes. Now, I am not blind, and I do only wear glasses, and eyes are still great, but like you may as well work? Like, it led to a lot of trauma with people stealing my glasses, making me see smudges and chips for the rest of the day, and having to look at people’s fingers as they ask that dumb ass question “hoW MaNy FIngErS aM i HoLdInG uP?” and then seeing (well…) the look of betrayal on their faces as I say the right number. So actually, while I don’t eyes are weird, for the most part, I think they have a lot of audacity for a bitch named eyeball. There. I said it :[

Advertisements

Last, but not least, the eyebrows. Now, these ones really do confuse me because I feel like they are just a fashion statement. Like God just looked at us and was like, something is missing? So he just put hair above our eyes. Kinda like when he put nipples on men. He just thought it looked a bit… incomplete. Now that I read that bit, it sounds like a dig on people with no eyebrows, but that isn’t what I mean because you are still beautiful, but I just wanted to make a statement that I don’t understand the point of them. So, before I dig myself into a bigger hole, let’s discuss it more. I have heard they are for protecting your eyes, but I have 2 problems with that. One, is that not the eyelashes job? And secondly, why are they so far from our fucking eyes. Now, they aren’t like becoming part of the hair line or anything, but they are definitely migrating. Like, they are at the point of “Donald Trump is gonna come get you” migration. Surely they can’t do that much from up there? But I do appreciate you I suppose. But like I also feel like you expose me way to much and I don’t appreciate it. You must be part of the snake shields cause you really coming back to nip me in the butt.

Advertisements

Anyways, I am happy to make it onto your list of the weirdest posts you have ever read, but was a good read? I think so, but defo leave your thoughts in the comments. I am gonna sign off quick because I don’t have much else to say like, but don’t forget to like, subscribe and check out my other posts. And of course, I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

Advertisements

Advertisements

Advertisements
the most common US misconceptions about the uk graphics cartoon animated blog feature image cover blue and red

The Most Common US Misconceptions About The UK

This post is gonna come off as fucking cheeky and kind of playing with American stereotypes, but I want to make it clear to you now that I 100% mean it. So, sorry I guess but it has to be done. To be fair though, when was there ever a need for you to learn… Continue Reading →

how to describe my blog detective evidence board blog featured image cover

How To Describe My Blog

Sometimes when I am writing a new post I sometimes look at myself in the mirror and wonder what the fuck I’m even talking about. What genre is this? I would say comedy but then again I don’t want to seem cocky and I don’t even know if people understand my humour. I would also… Continue Reading →

I don't get the guinness book of world records colourful large title comedy blog feature picture image

I Don’t Get The Guinness Book Of World Records

Maybe it’s because I have no skills of my own but like I don’t understand the hype of the Guinness book of world records because the only thing it did was make me confused at why the drink my dad loves is making a book? Like… make it make sense. It’s kinda cool I guess… Continue Reading →

Advertisements
One-Time
Monthly
Yearly

Make a one-time donation

Make a monthly donation

Make a yearly donation

Choose an amount

£3.00
£9.00
£60.00
£3.00
£9.00
£60.00
£3.00
£9.00
£60.00

Or enter a custom amount

£

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

DonateDonate monthlyDonate yearly
Advertisements

Do You Know What’s Weird? Languages

Me, personally, I love languages. I don’t know what it is about them but I find them so interesting because the whole world has different ways of communicating and it makes sense to people despite the fact we have absolutely no clue what they are talking about. To be fair I only know Spanish and English but still. I mean I wish I had the time or the motivation to learn more because it is so awesome, but there are also times where I just think to myself “what the fuck”.

Advertisements

There was a time where there were no languages and then the next day they were just like “ok we need to come up with a way to communicate that everyone will understand” but how did they say that to each other? How did they talk about starting this and using their voices to make words. And I know that a lot of modern languages came from Latin or some shit but how did Latin come around, and if we know what that came from then how did that other language start? There was once just a person that was like ok we need to do this but how the hell. And they were the ones to create the best invention in the world because now we can communicate and thrive.

Advertisements

This might sound a bit stupid but, being the dumb child I was, when I would ask how Spanish people would understand what other people were saying when speaking Spanish, my mum would say “well it’s just their language so they understand it like we do with English” and for some utter shit reason, I thought that meant that they would translate what they said into English and then translate their response back into the language they spoke and then I would be so confused as to why they couldn’t understand us when they have to translate everything into English to understand it. Obviously, I have changed now and actually love languages but how fucking dumb was that. Literally, me thinking that everything revolves around English which is actually kind of does and I feel privileged to be a fluent English speaker, but I was innocent as fuck back then.

Advertisements

That kind of leads me to my next point. Why have we chosen a ‘superior language’? How did we just decide that it would be English? Now, I know that English isn’t the world’s most spoken first language but like pretty much all countries, I think, kind of make you learn English in school as if you wouldn’t succeed without it. I know that I learn languages but it isn’t as stressed as what I would think learning English would be. And English is a fucking hard language. In never fully appreciated how hard it was until a couple of years ago because before I was like “well we don’t even have an accents on our words so it isn’t even that hard” but then I realised that words are spelled and pronounced so differently that it is just ridiculous. I mean who the fuck decided there would be silent letters. Like Pterodactyl. What the fuck is that? Honestly. And then there are the rules like “I before e except after c” but then there are still words that go against that. Honestly, I would give up if I had to learn it. Wait!!! I just remembered one of the most ridiculous words in the English dictionary. Queue. This has to be a joke. You can not tell me that the only letter you pronounce is the very first one while the others are just there for show. Like how the hell is that real. As a person of the English language, I would like to formally apologize for this and I hope this hasn’t fully destroyed your love for languages.

Advertisements

Are there just people who come up with languages though. That’s the thing. And how long did it take for the first speakers to start a language because I mean damn, I can barely speak the language I have known my whole life. Props to them I suppose but I only have one more question for you. Were you on literal drugs when you came up with it because god damn this shit is crazy. But yeah, I suppose that is my questions over for now about how weird languages are. I still love them to be fair but like, they are freaking weird. If anyone is reading this and has had to learn English as a second language, please comment down below and tell us what it was like to you and what other things still confuse and shock you to this day because I am sure there are many. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

Advertisements

Advertisements

Advertisements
pride flag discussion blog post cartoon featured image about pronouns

Let’s Discuss It | Pronouns

Can people please just get over it and wise up because it just isn’t that hard bitch. Firstly I’d like to say that my pronouns are she/her and I’m straight so I can’t really speak of experience but I want to talk from the perspective of just an accepting human being which is literally the… Continue Reading →

stating the obvious comedy blog post discussion featured image

Let’s Discuss It| Stating The Obvious

I’m not really an angry person if I’m gonna be honest and although this doesn’t really make me that angry, it gets me in that manic laughing phase which is kinda fucking scary. Like you know that point where you just look at someone who just said something to you and you don’t have any… Continue Reading →

jennifer Lawerence is what? shocked text message with punctuation on side for shocking blog post featured image

Jennifer Lawerence Is What?

Talk about a merry fucking Christmas because I just found out something that has blown me away. It has been released before Christmas but I am only getting around to talking about this now because I wanted to spread out the happiness across this December. So without further ado, let’s talk about what the fuck… Continue Reading →

Advertisements
One-Time
Monthly
Yearly

Make a one-time donation

Make a monthly donation

Make a yearly donation

Choose an amount

£3.00
£9.00
£60.00
£3.00
£9.00
£60.00
£3.00
£9.00
£60.00

Or enter a custom amount

£

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

DonateDonate monthlyDonate yearly
Advertisements

Do You Know What’s Weird? Everything

So I know this is quite a broad topic guys. I know what I am getting myself into. An existential crisis. But I am ready for it you know. I am ready to question life and everything there is to do about it because… to be honest, I’m bored and don’t have anything else to do, so lets go ahead and get this started together.

Advertisements

Did you know that if all our empty space was taken away from out atoms, a single person would fit into a grain of sand. And did you know that if the whole universe had the space between the atoms taken away that it would fit inside a sugar cube. I mean this bitch really taking grandpa in my pocket to a whole new level. And then also, if you took an atom and made it’s nucleus into the size if a peanut, then the electrons would be the size of a fucking tennis court! I am not even joking with you guys! That is true! To be honest, I think electrons are definitely a “pick me” type of person. Like was there any need to be so large. And also take up so much fucking space. I mean what is the point of that. Does the nucleus have a bloody restriction order from the electrons because I don’t blame it, it seems like a sassy bitch. But like 99.99999999…% of an atom is just empty space but then how the fuck is everything solid. How the actual hell can we not just break things so easily. How are things bloody solid! And if the electrons, protons and neutrons are all just energy how the hell do they come to make something solid and is there some sort of connection between them that means they don’t go out of line. How do they make up everything? Yet are literally pretty much nothing. And how do we know that it is 99.99999999…% empty space? We haven’t gotten anything small enough to be able to see it, yet we literally see this as a fact.

Advertisements

So many things now a days are a theory, but like surely after all this time you would have figured something out as a fact. Like we are just prepared to believe everything aren’t we. If a scientist came out and said “we are all fucking caterpillars who just haven’t turned into butterflies yet!” the world would literally eat it up. We would all go around thinking how crazy it is that we are all caterpillars and then bitches would be going around saying “oh my it all makes sense now. That is why when we die we get angel wings or devil wings” as though it was clear all along. Like the actual fuck! But then there are still people who are like “oh my god get that vaccine away from me! It contains a whole fucking laptop in it that will slowly poison me, make a clone of me, fly to the sun to their secret base and then come back home to eat the hearts of children!”. I think that is why I couldn’t be a nurse or a doctor because I would actually have to just slap them in the face and shout “you actual dumb bitch. You update your fucking Facebook friends every time you take a shit so obviously you aren’t that private. I’m going to have to call a cleaner for all the crap that just came out of your mouth. Why the fuck would we want to track your boring ass anyways? So we can see how long it takes to get to the manager’s office, Karen?! Huh! Don’t flatter yourself bitch”. Wow that went off topic a bit

Advertisements

What other things are kinda weird? Hmm, well I guess this is kinda the same thing but like the beginning of the universe and I guess the universe now. I mean you are telling me that all the mass that has ever been in the universe or ever will be has been here since the very beginning of time. I was there (well, I mean my atoms were) and you and everyone else. The floor you stand on the air you breathe and we were all confined withing a dense ball that just happened to be here somehow. Like how did that mass just happen to become a thing and if matter can’t be created or destroyed then how was it created in the first place?! Answer me that science. Oh and I would like to say that I am not saying this from a religious perspective, it really just boggles my mind. But moving on, like how did it just burst one day and what was it in? What did it burst into? What is outside the walls of the universe? How do we know that the universe is still expanding? Is someone out there looking? Because what if you get to the end and then you are like “what the fuck do we do now?” like are you expecting there to be a door or some guy just walks out like “shit I didn’t think you would get here so early” and then just restart the universe. And what I also have to admit is that, if the world was a whole simulation, I couldn’t give a shit. Like who cares. Nothing else will really change. And if my life happened to be the Truman show, I also wouldn’t care. I mean that would be pretty cool. Everyone knows me, everyone (hopefully) likes me, and most likely I won’t even become broke because they want to make good TV not just a bum on the street. I mean I hardly doubt it is but like what’s the big problem?

Advertisements

So yeah, I guess that is a bit of it. I am sure you know that this isn’t all of everything so I might have to make another post about this on a later date, but, for now, my 99.99999999% empty space, atom made, universe old, Truman show ass is tired, so I will see you later I guess. Don’t forget to like, follow and comment if you liked this type of content. I also just wanted to mention that, if you want, I mean you obviously don’t have to lol, there is a wee space below where you can like donate money to my blog so that I can keep doing this type of stuff in the future. Anything helps, but like if you don’t want to give a stranger money, that’s fine, but maybe you could leave a like or something. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

Advertisements

Advertisements
One-Time
Monthly
Yearly

Make a one-time donation

Make a monthly donation

Make a yearly donation

Choose an amount

£3.00
£9.00
£60.00
£3.00
£9.00
£60.00
£3.00
£9.00
£60.00

Or enter a custom amount

£

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

DonateDonate monthlyDonate yearly
Advertisements
Personal comedy blog post feature image for Christmas with vine girl who says merry Chrysler

Merry Chrysler!

Merry Christmas guys! I want to keep this post short and sweet because honestly who the fuck wants to read this on Christmas but if you are then I respect you and you a real one. But anyway lol I know this year has been kinda very shite but it’s nearly over and we made… Continue Reading →

Thank Goodness For Growing Up

I’m no Peter Pan, but I never want to grow up. Well, except for these reasons. Maybe it won’t be so bad after all.

Humans Haven’t Evolved For Shit

Humans haven’t evolved for shit, well not in the way I would like. I would warn all the Ross Gellers, or people who actually understand this topic, to beware because this may cost you a few brain cells, but I do want to add I am not a Karen and I do believe in evolution, this is a joke.

Advertisements

Do You Know What’s Weird? Sleeping

Right, hear me out guys. This may sound like utter shite but I swear when you think about it for long enough, it literally makes no fucking sense, or well, at least it is such an amazingly weird thing. There is just a time of day where you could walk down the street and everyone around you, in their houses of course, is sleeping. Like nobody is awake at that moment. The world quite literally shuts down. The lights go out, we are pretty much unconscious, everything is closed except for clubs and really sketchy areas. But it is so weird that half of the world is like “ok, i’m done” and that is relatable as fuck, but again, what the actual hell. And then sleeping itself is a whole thing. I mean we just lie on this cuboid of feathers or cotton and shut our eyes for however long it takes to fall asleep and then BAM you are awake and literally 8 hours have passed (if you’re lucky) and we just act as though that is normal. And it is such a vulnerable moment as well. We are literally lifeless, our eyes closed, and we just vibe as though nobody could break into our house and just stab us or something. Sorry if that gave anyone anxiety, you would wake up in time don’t worry :/

Advertisements

But what is it with sleeping. Like why is it that we have to literally sleep in the dark and get all comfy in a bed and shit, while animals literally have to sleep in shit and the cold and they just vibe. Yes you could say they have fur but like we have clothes and we still have to have a bloody sun in our room to fall asleep. To be honest, I would be so raging if I was an animal and couldn’t sleep under a blanket. I would have to become one of those dogs you see on tiktok that are so cute and literally wrap themselves up in their blanket and you realise how dumb your dog actually is because they literally walk into a glass window even if it is all smudgy 😐 But imagine how scary it would be if you were like the first living thing on earth and it was getting dark and you were with your mates and all of a sudden you were like “bro bro BRO I can’t keep my eyes open” and they were like “bro what?!” and you were like “my eyelids are like heavy or something bro! I’m seeing darkness and shit”. “Bro that’s so cra… OH SHIT BRO my eyes are heavy too!” and then you be screaming and you and your friend just conk out and in the morning you are like “shit bro! It’s bright again. My eyes aren’t even heavy? Bro, are we… dead” and your friend is like “I don’t know bro, but then again I am literally just a cell so… I mean I didn’t even know we had eyes until a couple of hours ago”. The end. I really have no clue what these stories even are. I mean what the even fuck. Please do say if I am going too far but like, I don’t give a shit so.

Advertisements

Back on topic though. Our body has literally evolved to be like “ok so we kinda need to not work for a couple of hours, but like, we will also be working even harder than usual if that’s ok with you” and we just accept it like “yeah I trust you to keep me alive while I literally have no control over anything” and then our body is like “nice! As a thank you we are going to give you magical stories during the night that will make your actual life seem like actual shit and you will be depressed that it is gone. But if we accidentally give you a good one, we will delete it from your memory in a split second. Thanks again.” and we just like “that doesn’t sound fun at all actually. Maybe I should just stay up because I mean you still work when I am asleep anyways so…” and then our body is like “bitch Imma give you a headache if you don’t go to bed ok! And I’m going to make you feel so tired that you won’t be able to do nothing else BITCH”. Like it’s weird but like ok. And I know that there is all kinds of science behind sleeping and why we do it, but if we just forget science for a teeny tiny moment and just have a teeny tiny existential crisis, sleeping is so confusing and crazy.

Advertisements

Then there are the people who feel like they are literal Jesus or something and they go frolicking around saying “I don’t even need sleep man. It’s just a ploy that mattress companies put in our head. I mean I haven’t slept in like 3 days man and look at me, I’m toooottaaallly fine dude *looks like an old sac of skin with some no life behind his eyes* America is the land of the free do I don’t even have to listen to all that science shit you know” and these people are also always anti-maskers and anti-vax people who think they are revolutionary but are really just paranoid and self-conscious. Can’t you die from a lack of sleep though? I mean it sounds quite dramatic if you ask me. You seriously are about to just shut down because I wouldn’t close my eyes for a few hours, what are you? A baby. I mean come on. And also one last thing that I am completely pissed about everyday. Why the hell am I still tired after sleeping?! Was that not enough for you body because it seems like you be needing a lot of shit these days. You need sleep, you need exercise, you need fed, you need sun, you need water, you need rest, you need washed, you need every fucking thing in the world and you know what? I’m sick of it to be quite frank with you.

Advertisements

LOL anyways that was quite the rant today wasn’t it. I hope you are all have a great time during summer, or if you are still in school I hope you are coping ok. Surely it is nearly over right? Well depending on when you read this. Maybe you are some sort of galactic alien who randomly snatched a phone for some reason typed “do you know what is weird? Sleep” and if that is you, alien, give them their fucking phone back bitch. Cha anyways, I hope you have a good day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


Advertisements
Advertisements
One-Time
Monthly
Yearly

Make a one-time donation

Make a monthly donation

Make a yearly donation

Choose an amount

£3.00
£9.00
£60.00
£3.00
£9.00
£60.00
£3.00
£9.00
£60.00

Or enter a custom amount

£

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

DonateDonate monthlyDonate yearly

Do You Know What’s Weird? Time

I would just like to say sorry for any existential crisis that might come from this post, so I warned you I guess. This one can go pretty deep if I do say so myself, but I am going to get started before it all goes through my head, but none of it actually on the screen, so yeah. Enjoy my mental breakdown.

Advertisements

It’s funny how time is literally a social construct that somebody just made up one day. Like it must have been millions of years ago that a cave man was like “sdofhakganakljwfj” oh wait, let me translate that for you “hey bro, I kinda feel like we should measure the days” and the other one was like “why?” and then he was like “well, I dunno *kicks the ground awkwardly*. I just kinda think that making plans would be easier instead of just saying to meet at the dinosaur bones whenever this burning light in the sky is at the right hand side of the blue air. Every time I check I just go blind again”. And then boom, they just made time. But the thing is, time isn’t a real thing. Yes we know the definition but like time was made up. Seconds, minutes, hours, were just made by someone to make our lives more convenient. It is a bloody construct that the whole bloody world lives by and yet I have so many questions.

Advertisements

First of all, how can some people think that time has gone by really quickly, while others think it moved so slowly. The same amount of time passed, but for some it was as if it was sped up, but in that same moment while someone thinks everything is going so fast, someone thinks it is going really slow, as if it was in slow-mo. And both happen at the same time. I don’t really know how to explain it in words, but like time is whatever we perceive it to be, yet there is only one set time. And I don’t know why I find it weird, but when I say something like “uh this week has gone so slowly” and they are like “it’s actually been quite quick for me”, it just sends me into a spiral and I am like “what is this world” and then I go on and on like what the actual fuck is time anyways. It is literally nothing, it is made up, yet it makes up everything, we use it for everything. We blame it for so much, like death, yet it isn’t even a thing. Time can’t kill you, but we say it does. Time isn’t anything.

Advertisements

And in reality, we can’t say “time travel is impossible” because time isn’t even a thing. How can you travel in something made up? We could magically tell the world to put their clocks forward 4 hours and that is technically time travel because we moved the time forward, the thing we made for the world to live by. But the time travel that we talk about is actually just wanting to go to more developed particles. We want to see what everything looks like when particles have changed and moved. So it isn’t time we want to travel, but movement. And when they released something on the news the other day saying “scientists have found a dimension that is moving back in time”, what it really means is that it moves in a different way. I know I sound absolutely mental, but I just don’t really know how to word it but please comment below if you understand what I mean.

Advertisements

But like, we say we can’t control time, yet we made it. In reality we can change time, but we can’t change the movement of the earth. We can’t speed up the development of everything around us. It is just weird to think about how this thing we all plan our day around, was made up. It’s a concept. It’s not like gravity where the world would fall apart if we didn’t have it, or that it was always there we just hadn’t named it. If time ‘disappeared’, everything would carry on. Nobody would die from it, the earth wouldn’t be blasted into a million pieces. We don’t need it to survive. Yes it’s very convenient, but imagine what life would be like if we didn’t have it. What would change? But genuinely, that is a question. So much would change, yet nothing at all would change. Maybe we would all still be judging it off of shadows or the position of the sun in the sky. Maybe society would fall apart because we can’t organise things and be ‘on time’ to things. It’s freaky how something made up, makes up everything.

Advertisements

There are so many other things that I think about time. So many thins that I literally can’t describe, but hopefully somebody read this and was like “this is exactly what I think too” and it is so crazy and confusing, that it kind of makes sense. It is so complex, but so simple. It is so scary, yet so reliable. Ok, I definitely think I have gone insane, but I hope you guys are looking forward to this new series “Do you know what’s crazy” because there are so many things that we have normalised that, in reality, makes no fucking sense. Anyways, I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

Advertisements

Advertisements

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑