Elvis (2022) | I’ve Watched It, But Should You?

To be completely honest with you, I didn’t have any high hopes for the movie when I heard it was coming out. I thought it would be another one of the “Bohemian Rhapsody” types of movies, which I did like, but was getting kinda bored of. I also didn’t know much about Elvis himself, or at least I knew the basics that he was well known. But then, one day, I decided to break into my savings to afford a ticket to the cinema, and here is my opinion.

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Usually, when I do these types of posts (despite the fact this is my 2nd movie review post) I like to have a section for the people who haven’t watched it and for the people who have because I do like to talk about the actual movie itself. So don’t feel tempted to read the second part because there may be some spoilers (despite the fact it is literally based on a man’s life which you could probably search up so it really isn’t a spoiler but a fact).

Should You Watch It?

To put it simply, FUCK. YES. Excuse my french, but it literally was a good movie. And I know, I know, it is literally 2 and a half hours long and that killed me to hear as well. But let me explain why it isn’t actually that bad.

Firstly, I am the kind of person that can only watch seasons like “Friends” because anything over the 25-minute mark is like a slow, merciless death. Getting through stranger things was a real struggle for me (totally worth it though tbh). So, naturally, you can see why this would make me want to avoid the Elvis movie. But, to my surprise, it actually went pretty quickly.

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Well, it did feel like a long movie, don’t get me wrong, but none of it felt unnecessary. It all felt like it was important to know. I mean we all knew what the end was going to be before we watched it, but there are some things that you didn’t hear that much and it is pretty interesting and sad.

Secondly, the actors in it are literally amazing. This hasn’t got to do with how long the movie is, but if their acting sucked then it would have been 10 times worse, obviously. The acting was so impactful that I literally started to dislike Tom Hanks for a quick second. Now, I’m sorry to admit that and I know that is a sin, but for real, I felt anger when I saw his face.

On the other hand, we have Austin Butler, or as he is known in the film, Elvis. If you don’t know much about him, he is a method actor. And when I say he is dedicated, I mean he became Elvis for around a year and a half before they even started filming. 6 months of that was in lockdown so that was why it was for so long, but still. I think he deserves a round of applause. We all strive to find a man with this much commitment!

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And lastly, why is the really, really long movie a good idea to watch? Because you get your money’s worth. If you are gonna go see a movie for literally £8.50, you better know I’m gonna want to be in there for as long as possible. I’m just chuckling halfway through as the minion movie ends twice during our film. So it kind of makes the price worth it (slightly).

Overall, I think you should definitely go see it because it genuinely is just such a great movie. The acting is perfect. The cinematography is perfect. The way it goes from re-made to original videos of Elvis is PERFECT. I do struggle with movies sometimes because I think they can be dragged out a little, but the whole entire film had so much meaning and emotion behind it and shows how fame can truly change people and tear your family apart. So, to conclude, I watched it and you DEFINITELY should too!

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Post-Movie Watchers

Right, let’s get into the real stuff because I haven’t talked to anyone about it yet.

Let’s start at the beginning. I had NEVER heard about anything to do with Elvis’s background. I knew he was big and I knew he died young, but I never knew about his family history and what inspired him to make music. So hearing about how his parents moved to a black neighbourhood and were influenced by the music was so amazing.

Don’t even get me started on the scene where he went into the tent where they had the preacher and everyone was dancing and getting really into the music! It was literally so good! And when Elvis’s friend tried to pull him out again and the preacher was like “no, he’s with the lord now” I was like PERIODT. I swear by the end of that scene I was next in line because it was literally so impactful. It all felt so real and the music was just amazing.

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What I really loved about the movie was how well they emphasized the influence of “black music” on Elvis because it was such a big part of who Elvis was. I mean in the middle of the movie when Elvis was watching a guy singing in the bar and was proper getting into the music, it really just showed how energetic and influential their music is. It wasn’t just a song, it was a performance that everyone was getting into. And then to see how Elvis then went against his agent by doing all the leg shaking, or whatever it was they were pissed about, was like “oh shit, PERIODT.” because he was so motivated to do what he actually wanted to do and do it the way he wanted to.

Imagine being at one of his concerts though, it’s so mental! And then when he went around the crowd and proper started kissing everyone! I was kinda like “OK?” and then I was like “but his wife?” and I felt too sad when I saw she was just sitting there watching. Fair play though because she just accepted it and knew that it wasn’t anything personal. Props to her I guess especially when she walked out on him but he started crying on the steps and said really sweet stuff but still left anyway. I was for sure she would have stayed or something but we love a woman who knows how to say no!

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The thing is she was such a lovely person. Like you could tell that she wasn’t in it for the money. Honestly, get her a movie too because I need to know what happened to her and her daughter! I could search it up but like I don’t want to.

The scene in the car near the end where Elvis handed over the daughter and then it was just the two of them in the car and she was like “promise me you will get help” and had already planned out how it would work, I was near in tears! And I don’t even cry at things! I’ve only cried at Moana and Fatherhood)

And then when he said he had to go and he just stared at her before getting in the car and mouthed “I will always love you” I was fighting! Literally fighting to keep it together! But then I later found out that she was 14 when they got together so that kinda weirded me out a bit, but in the movie, when I didn’t know he was sort of a paedo, it was cute.

Did anybody else hate Tom Hanks for a quick second as well? I mean, I adore the man, but he acts too well at this point. It’s when Elvis falls for his games that I literally crumble inside because why the fuck would he do that to him? Literally taking him for all he has. I don’t know how I felt seeing him like that. It kinda threw me but maybe they wanted a friendly face to make us trust him too? I don’t know, I think I cracked it.

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One really difficult scene for me was the one where Elvis literally faints in the hallway before the show and they shove his face in the iced water and he is literally dying on the ground but then the agent guy is like “he has to go on stage no matter what!” but then puts the decision onto the dad’s shoulders! The dad was so confused and you could just tell that he was so frightened and was thinking of what his wife would have wanted 😦 It was so hard to see them be manipulated like that because they used to be such wholesome people. The dad just wanted what was best for his son in a world that neither of them was familiar with.

I could probably talk about that movie all day, but honestly, it’s too heartbreaking. I might go watch it again once I have recovered my life savings. I hope you found this useful and if so please leave a like. Also, comment below what you thought about the movie. Was it just as good as you thought it would be? Better? Do you agree with what I’ve said (you better… jk)? Anyways, I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.


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Have You Amber Heard About This?

It comes as no shock that there is currently a trial between Johnny Depp and Amber Heard. Just to clear things up, Amber Heard is an actor… mostly. But for real I have never seen or heard of her ever before. I’m pretty sure Johnny said she was on Aquaman or something. All you need to know is that she is quite literally an extreme narcissist and complete nuts. Oh, and her lawyers have just graduated from clown school or the equivalent. Now, I’m just gonna run into this now because I got a lot to say and I’m just gonna ramble on so try to keep up, OK?

Let’s start with the basics. What is the case about? It’s a defamation case which basically means that Johnny Depp is suing Amber for ruining his image which in turn ruins his career because he is obviously a public figure. How did he ruin his image? Well, she posted (or didn’t… she can’t quite remember what her script said) an op-ed basically outing Johnny Depp as abusive. She has evidence to prove this… kind of, but she also forgot to mention that she too is physically abusive. And it doesn’t really take a fucking genius to realize that. So now it’s turned into a whole thing about who was the most abusive, who should be punished, who didn’t clean the carpet blah blah blah.

It’s quite hilarious though and I recommend you try to watch it. Skip to the part where she is on the stand though because then you’ll understand me when I say there is no way she could possibly have been a paid actor. Even I could do a better job and I was one step above being a rock in my primary school play. But you’ll never guess the drama! This actually nearly brought a tear to my eye… sorry, I meant it nearly made me tear my eyes out. Basically what happened was her dog stepped on a bee. Obviously, this is vital to her case… somehow, and was very emotional for her. At least that’s what I think her facial expression was supposed to show. I couldn’t really tell because I was trying to remember her point (there was none)

amber heard dog stepped on a bee face comedy meme

For real this is what her face looked like when she talked about her dog stepping on a bee. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a mess when it comes to dogs getting hurt, but like can we get to the fucking point, or remind me what the point is?! Please.

Hats off for the confidence I guess. She is very committed to the role. I mean they literally had a recording of her confessing to it and she sat there and denied it. Dead ass starred them in the eye and spoke literal shit. But we love Camille and she sees right through that shit. She just stand there looking all fed up with this shit and be like “Miss He- Miss- MISS HEARD… that wasn’t my question” and then goes back into game mode.

A reoccurring theme with Amber’s stories is that they don’t really… make any sense. One of the ones that made me crack up was the one where she said something along the lines of “he put his hand into a fist, raised it up, pulled it back *dramatic sigh* and HEAD-BUTTED me”. I’m sorry but that really did not make any sense.

Something that has really started to bug literally the entire population is the fact that whenever she answers a question she whips her head over to the jury like they are her moral support and answers to them. It kinda gives me the vibes of when you go to the doctor with your mum and the doctor asks you a question but you look at your mum to answer instead. That is quite literally it. And I don’t know if she got neck problems or what but she gotta get that checked out soon. I’m surprised Camille hasn’t called her out and been like “Can you look at me when you are answering me bitch”. That would have been me for real.

Also, she is such a poser. This is indisputable as well, even Amber Heard’s lawyers could win my case. She got a tissue to wipe her nose and she went to put it down but then saw a camera man pointed in her direction so she put it back up to her nose froze for a second until it flashed and then went on. It’s like ma’am this is on live broadcast and we can see past your bullshit

I’m gonna have to admit something and don’t be angry about it because you know it’s true, but I don’t think either of them were perfect partners. I don’t think he did what Amber said he did, I don’t think he was physically abusive, but they definitely just weren’t good for each other. Don’t twist my words OK because I’m as Team JD as I am a human, but he isn’t an angel.

I don’t want to drag this on for too long tbh because I’m gonna leave you a link to the actual trial video yourself but I’ll leave you with one last thing that made me actually die. Funny enough it was when they were leaving the court for the day and Amber was getting off the stand and as she got off, Johnny started to walk out too. Let me tell you, this how jumped back like it was extreme hopscotch. For real she acted as though JD was about to pounce. But he just needed to get to the door. What was also funny was that the police woman who was there reacted like that pick me girl in school who would go in between the two fighting and spread her arms out like “Guys stawp it this isn’t you! Don’t do this pleeasssee”. I guess it’s her job but I thought it was quite hilarious

Anyways, I love to talk about this shit because it’s so messed up but like also I feel bad for the guy. Do leave a wee comment though on what you think because I need to make sure all my subscribers are on my side. I’m trying to post more often now as well so scroll down to the suscribe section below so you can get notified every time I post because trust me you don’t want to miss it. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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Elvis (2022) | I’ve Watched It, But Should You?

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The Woman In The House Across The Road… | I’ve Watched It, But Should You?

I’ve been off this blog for a while now so I thought I’d keep you updated on what I’ve been doing. Fuck all, to be honest, but one of the things that have wasted my time was watching Netflix, or more specifically, that one with the fucking long name called “the woman in the house across the road from the girl in the window”. Don’t try to ask me if that is right or how I remembered that but that’s literally its name.

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I’m gonna start off with why I wanted to watch it? I wasn’t going to honestly but then my sister and friends all came in one day and all asked the same question “what the fuck?!” And I get that now, but at the time I was confused. They had literally only watched the first episode as well so I was like what could be so weird about this show? Some of the things they mentioned were a cannibal, a crazy lady and fear of the rain. I understand those now but at the time I didn’t know how those could all link together into a good TV show.

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Content
Preview
Newbies
Experts
Conclusion

I’m not going to lie, knowing the purpose of the movie now makes the show really good and hilarious (not the whole person eating a person bit but you get what I mean), but if you were to watch this expecting a great show with the one and only Kristen Bell, you would be pretty disappointed. So for those who haven’t watched it, go down to the “Newbies” heading below and I’ll not spoil anything for you, but if you’ve started watching it and have come here just to verify a few details, go down to the “Experts” section (But I am in no way an expert other than the fact I have watched the first few episodes). But first for a quick preview of what the show is about

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Preview

“A heartbroken woman named Anna (Kristen Bell) is unsure of whether or not she witnessed a murder. She mixes alcohol with medications prescribed by her therapist, has frequent hallucinations, and suffers from a crippling fear of the rain (ombrophobia). Anna is ostracized by members of her community, including her new neighbours, and labelled “crazy” by the police. Regardless of whether or not she saw a murder take place, Anna takes it upon herself to find the truth.”

Description from wiki

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Newbies

At the end of this section, I’m gonna answer the question of whether or not you should watch it, but obviously, not everyone has the same taste in shows so I’ll give you my opinion so you can work it out for yourself. Or, of course, you could literally watch it yourself, but if you don’t wanna waste your time then keep reading.

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You may have heard a few rumours such as it’s crap, or it’s a joke. I’ll tell you that it is a joke, quite literally. In other words, we aren’t laughing at it we are laughing with it. Basically, it is making fun of all the stupid stuff in crime movies and just movies in general. Like the main character is literally some divorced woman with a dead kid (no it isn’t a spoiler) and it’s hilarious some of the things she realises along with the narration of what she is thinking. You know how so many movies have the one relationship where it is just so cringy and it’s usually between the depressed neighbour and the single dad that moves in across the street? That is one thing that happens but they make it so funny.

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If you didn’t know that this whole show was a joke you would literally despise it. You would literally chuck your phone out the window and wash your eyes out with soap, but knowing that this is just mocking every single basic show, it is so much better.

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Like, the way that the child dies is just so ridiculous and maybe they dramatize a few things for dramatic effect, but it still works. Kristen Bell’s acting is literally top-notch. I think it’s kinda like how she acted in “The Good Place” but also not like that at all. It must have been so fun to make because it’s kinda crappy-good acting. There seems like little skill yet so much skill at the same time.

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So basically, my answer to whether or not you should watch it is yes because it has a good plot but is also light-hearted and easy to follow. As long as you go into it knowing that it is a comedy and making fun of other movies then you will really enjoy it. Also, it may be worth adding that I have a very sarcastic, dark sense of humour so if you usually don’t get that type of stuff it may not be for you

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Experts

If you are reading this I really hope you have watched the show or that you just love a good spoiler because I’m about to spill all the tea. Tbh I’ve not finished it but like from what I have seen I have a lot to say. But at the end I am going to tell you whether or not I think you should continue watching it, if you haven’t finished it, or if you have finished it, then this is just a little bit of fun and maybe you’ll watch it over again with a different perspective.

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Let’s start with the fact that this is for sure a comedy and is for sure making fun of everything. It is basically as if every cringy part of a murder mystery was taken and put into 8 episodes. Luckily I started watching this with the knowledge that it is basically mocking other shows, and I’m glad I knew this because otherwise, I wouldn’t have watched as far as I have. My favourite part is just how ridiculous they make it, yet it works so well. For example, in the last episode I watched, Anna had just followed the English guy because she saw him carrying a heavy bag into the car and when she found him she asked to look in the bag and it was a fucking ventriloquist doll because he had to find a new hobby after his wife died. How fucking hilarious is that! Literally cackling by the end. And he is here like “I needed to do it for my daughter… Just, please… don’t tell anyone”. But it really does be like that in the movies. They’ll have a dirty little secret that they don’t want the world to find out about.

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I think Kristen Bell’s acting is amazing as well because she makes it look like bad acting yet it takes such good acting to achieve that and it must have been so hard to not absolutely pee yourself every 10 seconds. Like whenever she tried to bring a literal casserole to her neighbour but it started raining and she literally passed out in the street. Or when she was with the dead wife’s sister and the sister was so sad and mysterious. I don’t even know how to describe it in words but you’ve seen it so you’ll know. She is basically that basic bitch character who seems like she has finally got her life back together after a big trauma, but she collapses every time she hears her sister’s name.

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I have to admit that at the start of watching it I was kind of doubting whether or not this was actually a joke but then the one thing that kinda made it certain that it was a joke was the part when she was like…

“To get to the bottom of something, sometimes you have to remind yourself that if you don’t risk anything, you risk everything. And the biggest risk you can take is to risk nothing. And if you risk nothing, what you’re really doing is risking not getting to the bottom of something. And if you don’t get to the bottom of something, you risk everything.”

— AnnaThe Woman in the House Across the Street from the Girl in the WindowSeason 1Episode 3
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I just find things like that so funny and you may say I have a broken sense of humour, but you would be right… yeah. I have a sarcastic, very particular sense of humour so this was a great show for me, so definitely keep watching and remember that it is literally a joke. It isn’t supposed to be a serious thing or something like that, so remember that if you are not sure if you should bother.

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But yeah I definitely recommend this show and you could even watch this show over your Easter holiday unless you are like me and have fucking revision to complete, then you can watch it instead of your revision as a bit of a laugh. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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