I’m not above a fight

See, I don’t really like it when people are cheeky to me. I mean you can be upfront and shout at me and I’ll be fine with that. My sisters have conditioned me to that. But if you are being passive aggressive or cheeky in front of me or behind my back, I won’t hesitate to fight.

No this isn’t coming out of the blue guys, but something I did yesterday kinda got my blood boiling if you get me. Anyways, here I was at my friend’s house for moral support because I was about to call my work and be like “hey girl so for medical and educational reasons I’m not gonna be able to work more than 8 hours a week but obviously I can work more on holidays thanks”, and here my manager does the longest sigh ever, literally I could almost smell her stinking breathe it was that loud, and I was like shit what is about to happen. Then this bitch really stops the sigh and goes “that’s not really helpful for us”

😮 Did I ask?! No I think the fuck I didn’t so why the hell did you have to say that. Would you prefer I didn’t work any hours? Do you want me to quit because I’ll be more than happy to get out of this bitch. Like I actually don’t even like work. When I tell you I was shocked, I mean I was back-from-war-tazer-in-the-back shocked. I still am at the moment tbh.

But anyways, after that, I paused because I was in denial at that stage or something and then I was just like “Ummm well… It’s for medical reasons as well” because my doctor told me to say that so she legally couldn’t fire me for it (I also wouldn’t care if she did because then id use and never have to work again, I’m not too proud to miss that opportunity bitch) and here she was acting all nice again, miss cheeky bitch tryna get on my good side again. Like I actually have to go to work with her today and if she comes up to me and starts talking shit, I will happily throw hands. I mean I’m terrified of her too, let’s not get ahead of ourselves, but she barely knows me and doesn’t know how hard I can hit. BTW this is a joke don’t be calling the police

Anyways yeah that happened and it really made me realise how much I HATE, despise, loath, work. Do I get paid minimum wages to only get a 20 min break during illegal hours?! I think the fuck not. Like I have enough money saved to get my ass out of that hoe and I only stay cause I want my parents to be proud of me lol. But you have to admit what she said was petty uncalled for. Like it was not necessary. I actually despise the working world and it sucks the little bit of life and dignity inside of me.

So what do you guys reckon I should do? Quit or just realise that this is life. Also if anyone is like a law person, is there any way I could use for doing illegal hours with only a 20 minute break. I mean that would be ideal lol. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Train wreck of thought

I haven’t posted in a while, obviously, and I ain’t gonna explain why because it’s more boring than you think. It’s not like I went on a fucking trip to the Bahamas despite the fact I hope to go there some day if corona ever goes away. But anyways, a lot has happened like me … Continue reading Train wreck of thought

Makeup and Me

First of all, to the people who are in the comments right now saying “It’s makeup and I, not makeup and me” literally take you Hermione Granger ass outside or “I” will personally make Jeff Bezos land his fucking dick rocket on you. I mean would you slate Marley and Me for the grammar issue? … Continue reading Makeup and Me

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Makeup and Me

First of all, to the people who are in the comments right now saying “It’s makeup and I, not makeup and me” literally take you Hermione Granger ass outside or “I” will personally make Jeff Bezos land his fucking dick rocket on you. I mean would you slate Marley and Me for the grammar issue? I hope the fuck not so just back off Karen. But yeah, lets talk about how I attempt makeup all the time and it never looks good. Like whoever said that practise makes perfect, was an ignorant bitch.

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So why am I bringing up this topic? It’s relevant but also out of the blue so like what is the problem? Well, basically I was getting ready for a party and I was putting on some makeup, as one does. And then for some reason I had the bright idea that I might use eyeliner for the 2nd time in my life. Now saying it is the 2nd time makes it a bit anticlimactic, but the first time was a shit show and it was ages afterwards so like I couldn’t have learned from my mistakes. But yeah, as you can tell, the eyeliner didn’t go well and for some reason I have good eyeliner and this hoe wasn’t coming of for nobody so while I managed to improve it, I was still looking like a raccoon. Not ideal as you could imagine. But like out of the two times I felt the motivation to give it a go, they were both when I was running out of time and going somewhere I want to look good. Like it was not ok. I don’t know why when I am rushing I just think that a bit of adventure would be fun. This is coming from the person who needs a fucking fan group to get enough motivation to brush my teeth. Like make it make sense.

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Moving on… I also have to say that I don’t do makeup for just me. No, I don’t do it for the guys. I’m not that kinda bitch. I do it for everyone. Out of the kindness of my heart. Because I know for a fact that if you caught me without my eyebrows or mascara or concealer, it would be like you were in the conjuring or some shit. Like I look scary. I am pale as fuck, I have under eyes as dark as night and my eyebrows are just out of the question. It is not a pretty sight, trust me. I remember when I was younger and woke up at night and had a sore stomache so I would go tell my mum and when I opened the door my mum would jump out of her skin. I look like a fucking ghost and I have to live with that. Sure they say I just snuck up on them, but I know how I look. A creepy child in her pjs, half asleep, dark eyes, puffy hair and a teddy in my hand while I’m slightly hunched over cause of my sore stomache and then I have the high ass voice. I would have karate chopped my ass if I was my mum.

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I remember I was quite late to the game of makeup. I was a tomboy for WAYYYY too long and it really was something else. But that meant I thought I was “not like the other girls”. But when I grew up, I inevitably became insecure and was like “shit”. So I don’t know much about makeup except that I have to use the lightest shade and that unless the makeup proper burns your skin, out of date makeup is fine. I really can’t be arsed to learn anything about it though because I am a perfectionist, and I have the cheapest makeup, so when mine wouldn’t turn out like the one in the video, I would lock myself in my room for a week. Like I don’t have the patience for that. And also the videos are boring as fuck. Especially when you realise most of them are either pedos or bad people *cough* James Charles *cough* Jeffrey Star *cough*. I respect the talent that makeup artists have, but I really can’t be bothered watching your videos. But hey, I keep you in a business because I pay you to do my makeup. Not that I ever have got my makeup done before but I’m sure I will in the future.

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I do feel fancy as fuck though whenever I watch like a 5 second clip on tiktok of how she uses a concealer brush instead of a beauty blender because I look like I know what I am doing, and those moments are fun, but also short lived because I don’t think I do it right or just takes too long. I only just started like plucking and dying my eyebrows and shit and too be honest, I have been complimented about them, but I feel like such a pro even if I just brush them up. It isn’t that big of a deal dammnnnnn.

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Anyway, I kinda want to be finished on this post now because I am just rambling at this point, so I guess I’ll see you when I see you. I’ll try to do it everyday but you know how it is. Just can’t be arsed or have something else to do. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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I’m not above a fight

See, I don’t really like it when people are cheeky to me. I mean you can be upfront and shout at me and I’ll be fine with that. My sisters have conditioned me to that. But if you are being passive aggressive or cheeky in front of me or behind my back, I won’t hesitate … Continue reading I’m not above a fight

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I Got My Results and I Feel…

I got my GCSE results yesterday and to be honest, I feel the same fucking way I felt last week. I mean there was no big sigh of relief or weight off my shoulders. I didn’t turn ecstatic, it was just another part of my day. Like it was literally just reading letters on a page. I did really well so it isn’t like my marks were the problem, but I just remember when I was in my first year and you would see all the old ones getting ready for GCSEs and getting the results later on and I would think they were the coolest people and it must be such a great time to see how you have done, but like I don’t know if it is because of corona or something, but it doesn’t seem that big. Like, it hasn’t affected me a lot and I never really was that worked up about it even before. I may have acted like it because everyone else was so excited but I didn’t really feel any different. It makes me sound ungrateful and I know that but it is true. It just doesn’t seem like such a big deal to me.

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Please, if someone got their results in the last few days, tell me if this is the same for you because I feel like it was a total anticlimax and I thought that something big was gonna happen and obviously it didn’t. Were my expectations too high? Was I too tired? Did I just not care? I mean even today, it is all in the past. You just move on. I don’t look at my grades and think of the great future I can have and how successful I can become with careers and shit. Like it was quite literally just a bunch of letters. That sounds like it was a really inspirational moment as well, as though it put everything into perspective, but it was just nothing you know.

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I also get awkward as fuck whenever people ask me what I got because I did well and I don’t want people to feel worse if they didn’t get what I did but still did awesomely and then I would look like that bitch feeling nothing for their results but overhyping their results. So I kinda just say I did well unless they specifically ask me what I got. It do be like that sometimes I guess. And my results are quite literally in among a pile of rubbish in my room and I know where they are like. They aren’t actually in the bin, but I always expected them to be like up on the fridge or like in a picture frame, but it is just there and I don’t give a shit about it.

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I called my granny on the day to tell her what I got and I swear she was more excited than me. Obviously, she wouldn’t be like “Ok?” and hang the phone up, but like I was just like yup. I didn’t fit the vibe check to say it in other terms. It was one of those moments where you are like “what now?”. I expect that to happen when I finish A levels or uni, if I even go, because what happens after you pass and everyone is like “well done” because you just go home and the world keeps spinning. Nobody else in the world is affected or knows of it and some people feel like their whole life has changed for good, but there are people just having a normal day. Seriously though, what did you do after graduating from university? Did you just go home and make yourself something to eat as usual? Did you wake up the next morning and have nothing much to do? I mean you have to start thinking about jobs and shit and actually making a living. It’s kind of just like another level of a game, just glorified. And I know this is probably dragging everyone done if they had a great day yesterday, but for me, that is how I feel. Just the same.

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I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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I Think I Know Why I’m So Stupid

Ok so look, I haven’t been posting in a bit because I’m busy and all that shit. Wow, I’m a poet and I didn’t even know it. Anyways, I reckoned I would post something today while I have the chance and I wanted to do a wee story time or something. And this will be about the multiple head injuries I had when growing up that I think may explain my oddness and mental… imperfections. So yeah, there are 3 short stories so buckle up and lets get started

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Stairway To Hell

I’ve called this story the stairway to hell not because I did one of the wee rides or adventure things where you climb high or anything and then I called it Hell for a play on words. No. Here it is. So when I was a child, I was staying at my granny’s and at this point my parents were outnumbered, or just fed up with all our shit, and couldn’t keep an eye on everyone. So me being the adventurous child I am, I was wondering around, or at least I guess I was, I mean I don’t remember anything from when I was a literal foetus. But yeah, I got to the top of the stairs and thought I was an absolute smarty pants and that I could somehow get down the steps. So that’s what I did, or at least tried to do because I ended up falling down all of the and breaking my leg. Now a leg injury isn’t a head injury but I’m guessing I hit my head a few times on the way down or maybe I hit my head before the fall and that’s when I made that dumb ass decision. I think I kind of deserved it though. I am also being quite hard on a literal foetus child because they barely recognise that their nose looks nothing like the ‘nose’ they supposedly stole from me.

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Do you know what is gross though but also kind of cute and I see myself doing in the future if it came to that. My parents kept my little cast. It was like a full leg cast but is the size of my foot now. That’s kind of a weird comparison but deal with it. Anyways, yeah they literally just showed that to me one day and I was like “that’s cool but also what the fuck surely that’s absolutely minging”. It’s also kind of weird to think that we were that small and we have grown so much since then. Like we were all once little munchkins running around, slobbering and shitting everywhere. How beautiful :/

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Head and Spoon Race

Do you like my wee play on words there! Analyse this Miss English teacher bitch! Anyways that was intense, just like when I was a toddler at a restaurant and I was running around like we usually do. Don’t worry there was a wee play area there for kids that we could run around in. But anyways, I was running to go back to the table and fell, as one does, but somehow my head landed on a fucking spoon and indented my head. Apparently it was bleeding so much that my mum had to get a waiter to drive us to the hospital while she stayed at the back to control the bleeding lol. Thinking about it now, I hope he got a good tip or a raise or something because why could my dad not drive us? Maybe he was drinking? Or like why not ring an ambulance? Poor guy just wanted to get paid but no, I just had to get a spoon stuck in my head. How pathetic is that! Literally it sounds ridiculous. Imagine I died from that!!! DEATH BY SPOON! Stop that is too funny lol. I would turn into the girl in the story your mum tells you to stop you running around anywhere.

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I actually still have a scar from it and although it is faint and you wouldn’t really recognise it unless you stared at it for long, and who the fuck would be staring at me, but like it is pretty full on. It doesn’t sound very intimidating though. Like imagine I joined a gang and they were like “you see this *points at scar*. Bullet hole, 1986, had to take the bullet out myself and stitch it up with only the homeless guys hair and a rats tooth. Nearly lost all my blood but I survived for 4 days all alone in the gutters with nothing but mice to eat and then finally somebody found me” and then I’m just here like
ME – “damn, that sounds tough. But do you see this *points at scar*”
THEM – “mmmm no?”
ME – “RIGHT well it’s there ok! stupid bitch. Spoon hole, 2007, fell on the ground and a waiter drove me to the hospital. I had to get stitches from a doctor and was home the same day. And he gave me a sticker”

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Do you know what adds to it though. I literally had to get a cast on my fucking head because I wouldn’t stop scratching the stitches off. How dumb was that! The doctor was probably sick of me and was like “I’m going to embarrass the fuck out of this kid in the future” because now I have bloody photos of me with a massive fucking cast on my head. Maybe that is why my forehead is so big now! All the bumps just ended up staying there or the cast stretched it or some shit lol.

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Head and Seek

I can actually remember this one because it was in p6 ( which is around 9-10 years old for all the Americans out there). I remember it all and it really is hilarious. So I was playing hide and seek with a few of my friends, as you do, and it was a pretty intense match I have to admit. So I was going to run into the bathroom as a sneaky wee trick and somebody else was opening it and I went to sprint in. Full pelt in, but only my head got through because the door slipped from their hand and slammed my head. I remember being like “hmm, ok that’s embarrassing as fuck” and then my friends were like “OMG are you ok” and I was like “yeah, I’m fine” because I was so cool at that time obviously. But then they were like going to get a teacher and I was like “no, it’s fine, I just feel a wee bit tired”. I now know that is a sign of a concussion. I was also very out of it and confused, another sign of concussion.

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But then they were like “your fucking head is bleeding you dumb bitch”, or something along those lines, so I was like fine and we went to the teacher. Obviously she was like what the actual fuck, this child is literally bleeding and looks like she’s drunk or some shit. So they brought me to the nurse and got me one of their handy dandy wet paper towels (that defo saved my life) and I went on for lunch and got all the attention which I obviously loved. They had called my mum but in the mean time I was milking it to all my friends and was like “it hurt really bad but it’s totally fine, I can handle it”. And I distinctly remember someone was like “can I see it” so I took of the paper towel and they were like “oh my god I can literally see right through” obviously you really couldn’t but I thought I was the bees knees.

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Eventually my mum came to pick me up and brought me to the doctors who stitched it up and told my mum to check on me during the night to check I don’t become deceased and that was that. I came back to school the next day like the baddie I was. I don’t really think I got a scar from that but it defo jolted my brain a little and I will blame that for all my failures in life for no particular reason. It was a good laugh too I suppose. I also have a quick question for all the American’s out there. If any of this happened to you would you literally just risk it for a biscuit and not go to the doctors because of no free health care and all that shit. Would you just take all the nurses paper towels and sleep under them or something because damn.

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Anyways, those are the three biggest injuries I have gotten that have probably impacted my brain or the eventual outcome of a massive forehead which I very much despise. It’s all fun and games though and I’m still alive today which can be seen as a positive and negative lol. Hopefully that is all the head injuries I got for a wee while and just remember, don’t be a cocky bitch baby, watch out for spoons, and never hide in the bathrooms for hide and seek. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Ok, But Like Where’s The Need?

So, with making this blog I wanted to make sure I was completely honest with you guys. I know that makes it sound really scary as though I’m gonna be like “I am Michael Jackson, I in fact did not die” but it isn’t that deep. It’s just a thing that most of us go through but nobody talks about which makes it seem like more of a weird thing. You’ll understand more when I get into this post but lets get started with a quick story time of what I did yesterday that kinda gave me this and you will probably be able to guess where I am going with this.

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So yesterday, I started my first day of work EVER. Like literally my first day of work, and it was in a restaurant, so it was safe to say I was shitting myself. But anyways, I went in absolutely shaking, so much so that they probably thought I was of those air bag people at car sales places that just flap around in the wind, but like during a hurricane. That was kind of a weird description but you get it, right. Anyways, I was nervous and sweaty and in a complete mess. But I tried to keep my composed. Luckily it was just a 3 hour shift. The people there were nice but like you know when you feel like people are being nice because they have to and in reality they don’t want you there. That was my thoughts. And I swear all my hearing went out the door because people would talk to me and, maybe it’s just the masks, but I couldn’t hear shit so would have to ask them to repeat and I would still not understand. I shadowed someone most of the time but when she went on break I felt so out of place and I barely talked to anyone else because I was the youngest and also scared I would do something awkward like be myself 😮

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If I made one mistake I would literally die inside and be like “I canny work a till what the fuck”. I also seem really dumb because I just don’t notice the obvious. Like the one time I spoke to another person was when I was like “is this the large and then the other one is the pint” because the actual large was actual at the back of the shelf and I didn’t really see it. And he was like “that is the regular, the large is this one” and he showed me so I went to try and find it and realised the glasses where fucking labelled so I looked like an idiot because I didn’t see them there. I looked like a dumb blonde in that moment. Also, whenever the forks ran out I was like where are the other forks and she pointed to a bucket of clean forks that was literally right beside me. I really don’t know how I wasn’t fired on the spot for incompetence. Also, I was so shaky that when I had to write down the orders, you could hardly read it and my handwriting is bad on a normal day but this was looking like fucking Latin or some shit because it made no sense at all

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But let’s get onto the main point of this post. From the moment my shift started to 2 pm the next day, I have been feeling so weird. Like I felt sick to my stomache and all the things I did wrong stuck in my head and I was so embarrassed and terrified for my next shift. I was literally still shaking and tense hours after it finished. It took me ages to get to bed that night because no matter what, I would always go back to thinking about how I was rubbish. And you know, I think a lot of people go through that especially at their first job, but in the moment you feel as though you are never gonna be able to work again. I have 3 shifts next week and I am actually so scared and I feel kind of like an impostor or some shit, but I am still gonna go and hopefully it only gets better from here. I mean I’m pretty sure this is as bad as it can get, but knowing me, I can go a lot lower than this, it’s a specialty of mine. lol jokes, but like I hope this is helpful to someone going through something similar or just scary in general and I hope that you have a way to express those feelings. If you don’t, please leave a comment or contact me directly and we can talk about whatever it is and if you are interested you could upload a post on this blog so that others can share their thoughts. It can be anonymous as well obviously.

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Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this post and found it somewhat useful because I know a lot of people can feel this amount of stress and anxiety after some situations, and know that’s ok as long as you share that with someone. But I will see you later for another post, don’t forget to like, share, comment and follow if you enjoyed this content. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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I Hate Genes

To any foetus child out there who is like what the fuck are genes, basically they are the characteristics that we get from our parents and they make up who we are and what we look like. For example, I inherited my dad’s white ass Irish skin which burns like a bitch whenever a bloody … Continue reading I Hate Genes

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Do I Have Anger Issues Or Was She Just a Bitch?

You guys need to settle something for me today because just this morning I was confronted by a crazy, telly-tubby lookin’ ass bitch on my walk and she really angered me, I will tell the story in a sec, but when I told my mum she seemed unfazed. So today, with your opinion, I will discover if I have anger issues or my mum is also a Karen 😮 This is a big one guys. Maybe you just had to be there but I really did feel like kung-fu panda-ing the shit out of her. Also, disclaimer, no Karen’s were hurt in the following story (unfortunately)

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So here I was, minding my own business as one does on their usual morning walk with their tiny cute dog following behind. I kept walking and checking up on el perro and saw there was a woman walking up behind me with one dog that was on a leash and another German Shepard that wasn’t on a leash. I didn’t think anything of it because my dog is good and doesn’t like attack or any of that shit, but she is dramatic as fuck. Anyways, I let the woman go ahead because my dog was being slow and sniffing the dog that was OFF THE LEASH and may I add, the dog was 10 times the size of mine. Anyways, she went one way and I went to go another way and my dog was following the dog that was off the leash. The lady just laughed and did the generic “hahaha guess she is coming with me” (no this is not a kidnapping story) and so of course I did the whole “lol you are such a comedian” bullshit.

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But then my dog unleashed the dramatic bitch inside her and started doing a whole high pitched yelp at the dog that was OFF THE LEASH and maybe put her paws on the German Shepard’s face but like not with force. And then the owner got like crazy eyes and I was like “sorry about that, she is really dramatic” because she does that sometimes even though nobody got hurt or anything and it is all laughs, but then when I went to grab my dog she was like “get your dog right now!” But like in a really strict, scary way and I didn’t realise at first because she seemed nice but then I realised when was walking away and I’m just like what an actual cheeky fuck. Like no dogs were hurt, I made a joke saying she is just dramatic, the dog on the leash that I am assuming is angry, was nowhere near them and her dog was bigger than mine so was not going to get attacked by mine. And she just turned so rude and was giving me a dirty look. I was near ready to fight but I only processed it after we walked away from each other.

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So now I want you guys to comment and tell me if I misinterpreted it, but she sounded pretty fucking rude to me and nothing even happened. My dog just yelped and that was it and she is literally a miniature Schnauzer. I swear though… “get your dog right now!” Get your shit together right now you crazy lady. I wish I had realised and gave her a dirty look or just been like “right calm down it was just a yelp” or something like “sorry can you say that again, I forgot to act like I cared”. Can you tell I’ve been thinking about this a lot? Usually I don’t overreact. Like I seem like a very calm person but I also can take things the wrong way. She didn’t sound worried though so wasn’t scared her dog would do something but she sounded cheeky which meant I thought she was rude, obviously, and maybe she was having a bad day but it was literally bloody 10 am so like what could have happened in that time… like seriously. It’s just things like that though that really annoy me because I know that if I was to like say something or like defend myself, she would be fuming because I’m a teen and then I would be backing up the idea that teens are entitled fuckers who are always angry. Like people think that all the time even though we are just sticking up for ourselves. Don’t me wrong, some of us are like that but a majority of us are respectful but also know what we deserve.

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Anyways, that was quite the random post I have to admit but please do comment on your thoughts because I want to know if I am overthinking this. But I will see you again tomorrow for more and hopefully I won’t see that woman again because I might have a few words to say to her. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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My First Holiday In Two Years

I feel like in 30+ years, there is gonna be someone that stumbles upon this post and be like “imagine not being able to teleport to wherever the fuck you want or even just hop in your flying car. Imagine how boring it would be especially as they don’t have phones built into their heads” or at least that is my prediction, but that isn’t today’s topic. Today I just wanted to talk about some of the things I missed, didn’t miss and discovered during my trip. I really am making it sound like a life changing trip to mars or some shit, it was just a small one but I’m going to continue being dramatic as fuck. Also I still have my nails on so sorry if this is quite a short post.

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Anyways, lets start with things that I missed. Obviously we have the whole getting out of the suffocating area that is your home country, being able to see other family and friends and being able to relax more. What I also missed about holidays was the whole seeing places you have never seen before. The place I went to was literally just across the water so I can’t say there was much of a culture shock but like for the past 2 years or so, the only places I could go on a normal basis was my home and school, which are 2 pretty boring places after like 2 days. So actually going outside, seeing people I have never seen and places that don’t look like the normal 4 boring fucking walls that trap me inside all year around. It just feels more normal I guess and after all this time in one place I feel like every little difference is highlighted so much. Like I literally saw that the public buses there were a different colour from home and my world was, to say the least, completely changed. I couldn’t stop looking at them and making sure everyone else knew that the buses were different to home as though they gave a shit. As though they would turn around and grab me on the shoulders and with tears in their eyes they would say “thank you so much for sharing this marvelous discovery”. But to me it was a bit awesome and I know I sound like an idiot but like I really fucking hate the site of my home town to be honest.

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Now to things that I didn’t miss. Car journeys, the long ones that make your literal ass cry out for help as it is so painful that you want to die. I sit in the middle of the car because if I don’t then my sisters will absolutely annihilate each other. I do this for the squad and I do this for my gang. But yeah, I swear I was in the car during the holiday more than I was anything else and I will literally cry if I have to listen to anymore of my dad’s music. I might actually just let my sisters kill each other and hopefully me in the process.

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What I also hated was all of the fucking photos. There was a point where I was nearly in tears because every step you take was just “oh my god I need a photo of this rock” or “oh my god this is amazing” and then when you gurn even a little, they act like you just offended the whole family tree, but if you stop for one second to check out a shop the shit hits the fan. So you just cry at every single photo and all the bad angles and moments they take. I don’t want to remember every single crumb of every single meal I ate. And you just know they are about to post them on Facebook every little chance they get. I also hare being around people all the time. That is normal for me even before the pandemic, but it has gotten worse. Like I have to share every single bedroom with my twin and I’m sorry but I was near ready to slam that hoe into the floor, not because she did anything but because I hated the site of her, the aura she emitted. The only time I had to myself was in the bathroom and people probably thought I had bowel issues at some points, but I just wanted out of there.

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Last but not least, things that I discovered. Not much actually. I mean I guess not all buses are the same colours and I confirmed that I really don’t have a good side, but like nothing really mind blowing. I wasn’t like “oh my god I need to get away from home and discover everything life has to offer” and race away with a big smile into a Disney musical. To be honest, I just discovered that me and my parents have fuck all in common and I’m a lazy hoe. So yeah

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Anyways, I hope you guys liked this post. Hopefully I will be able to post more content now because I am back home and I actually have some privacy which is great. So yeah, don’t forget to like, subscribe and comment if you enjoy this type of content and I will see you tomorrow for more. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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My Honest Opinion On Public Transport | Hint – NOT Ideal

I feel like a common theme with my content and the titles is that they all seem like I am about to go into some political talk as though I am about to rant about taxes or other Karen shit, but like it really isn’t, so I don’t know if I attract the wrong audience with it. I can imagine a bunch of middle aged women getting their hair pumped up at the back, like the typical Karen’s do, and getting ready to take notes on the topic so they too can complain about public transport or some shit. And if that does happen to be you, you are gonna be disappointed because it is just my opinion and for a bit of a laugh. I do honestly think public transport is great because of global warming and all that, but like that is the most political thing I am gonna be saying in this post so like I’m sorry to disappoint I suppose lol. I’m gonna go through each form 1 by 1 just because… well I don’t know why but I just am and I don’t know why I am telling you but lets just roll with it.

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Trains

In all honesty, I love a good train. I think it is my favorite form because it is more relaxed kind of but still not very relaxed. I don’t know why though but they stress the shit out of me and I actually do know why so let me explain. I hope I don’t sound insane, but I also feel the same way about roller coasters which is that I kinda forget that a human controls them and they aren’t just on a time limit. And what I mean by that is that when I go on a roller coaster I get really stressed that the people aren’t going to get to me quick enough so they won’t be able to check my harness, when in reality, they control it and only start it when everyone is on. It isn’t like they have to get it all done in 5 minutes and if somebody isn’t strapped in right then that’s too bad. I feel the same way about the train too, so I feel that if the people getting in first take too long, they will just shut the doors and leave but like people control it so they wouldn’t do that unless they were like bunged up. So that is kinda stressful I suppose.

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These are good though because they are quick and usually not too disgusting and they are quick too. Kinda nice vibes as well ad make you feel kinda grown up but like I wouldn’t be wanting to go on at night because, as a woman, I don’t think that would end well for me but like oh well. I think I made another post not long ago talking about how the train conductors are also really scary usually and act as though they have been pissed off since the day they were born, but like you just ignore them I guess and you are fine. Sometimes you can get lucky where they don’t get to you in time so you don’t have to pay and that is an added bonus like. Another thing I also get stressed about is getting onto the train and also just the train platform. I remember the first time I went on the train alone and my mum was waiting at the platform until the train left and she was in front of the yellow line and I was so panicked even when the train wasn’t moving. I was acting as though she was about to get sucked under the train just because she was close to it. I still kinda get scared of that. And when you get onto the train and have to walk over the gap to get in, I always feel as though, somehow, my phone or whatever I am holding, is going to fall in and then I will never get it back. I don’t always feel like I will fall in, but like I have to hold onto everything for dear life because I think it is somehow going to propel itself under the train. How embarrassing would that be if I did though. I always feel like I left something on the train too even when I literally didn’t bring anything onto it lol.

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Bus

This is hands down my least favourite public transport. Like what the actual fuck I hate it so much. It is stressful enough when I have to get on it to go to school because I feel like I will get on the wrong one and end up in Russia or some shit. And the time table, like I just don’t trust it. You have to make sure that you get on the right one and when you do there are barely any seats so you have to end up sitting or standing next to the druggy who smells like actual shit. And even if you do get a seat they are always so dirty and infested with like 100 different viruses. It is so stressful as well when you get on and they just start moving the bus when you are still paying or just getting to your seat and you are literally flailing everywhere. It’s as though your drunk or something and they always suddenly stop and send you flying into someone. I always get scared that they will not stop at my stop for some reason.

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My school bus for going home is literally shit. There are no seats, there are first years running around and shouting everywhere and you can’t even tell them to shut the fuck up, the drivers have anger issues and they sometimes put up the wrong fucking number so they drive a different way and you are like am I getting kidnapped lol. And if they do take the right way at the start, they fucking miss the last stop and we are like “umm where are you going” and they act as though they don’t know shit and are like “where was I supposed to go” and then take a bloody one hour detour just to turn around. It is so stressful and packed and they never have the heaters on in winter but in summer they seem to work and the air conditioning is broken. I hate buses with a passion and I always will

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Taxi

I don’t really know if they are included in the public transport category but they need mentioned anyways. They aren’t too bad like but why does it have to be so awkward and expensive and also kinda embarrassing when you have to take one because you were late to school. When you get one you have to sit there awkwardly or just engage in small talk that makes you want to pull your eyeballs out. The people driving are usually quite nice though and the actual car is nice and clean which is a good touch. I don’t live in New York so like these aren’t any crappy yellow ones. You have to call the company to send someone over and they are nice and all so that isn’t the bad part but why the fuck are they so bloody expensive. Like I guess you have to pay for gas and it is more private but like for fuck sake. You just look at the meter going up every second and you get a fucking heart attack. Sitting in traffic wondering if you can afford to get home. Like what if you don’t have enough money to pay for it all because it is more than expected? Do you just walk away or what

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I remember in primary school we went in taxis to go to things like swimming and school trips and we thought we were the bees knees. Especially if the teacher didn’t go in your car and it was just your mates and the driver. There was this one time though when it was just me, my friends and the driver and we got in and the teachers were taking role or whatever and then our driver just drove straight away because the car was full and we were like what the fuck because nobody else had left. The guy was really nice but like on the edge of scary but like he did get us to the place but then 10 minutes after, our teacher finally got there and was like what the fuck because she though we were getting kidnapped or some shit because she didn’t tell the driver to go yet. Kinda fun times I suppose. You would have to be dumb to kidnap someone in a taxi though, pretty obvious like.

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Planes

I do love a good plane, don’t get me wrong. I mean I love the vibes, it is quiet and you can relax. It is quick and you get the best shows in the world, the safety briefing. But what the fuck is up with the food. Who pissed off the cooks to make them prepare this. I don’t mind the snacks and stuff like the muffins or tea because those are fine, but like I remember I was flying over to america from Northern Ireland and I had pasta or something and it was absolutely awful. Just the texture was so bad. It was all one texture and that was slimy. The chicken was literally rank, the pasta was near dripping and I got off the plane feeling like shit. The people on the plane were kinda cheeky and stuck up though but it might just be because it as a long flight or there were annoying customers, but even at the start you could tell they wanted to throw you out the plane. The first movie is always the most exciting because you are like “ooh, I’m watching a movie in the air on the way to holiday, how fun” but after you are all cramped, you are bored, always interrupted, you need to pee but don’t want to go past anyone and you still have hours left. So while I do prefer a plane to a boat, they can get a bit old very quickly. They are more relaxed though especially when at the airport because you have you plain time called every hour, there is a clear sign about it, there are shops that are way over priced but good for looking around and it is honestly a vibe. I love people watching, not in a creepy way, so it is cool to see how people are literally going everywhere in the world. And if you just sit at the seats near your terminal, you will be sure to never miss your plane, so good times all around.

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I remember the first time that I went on a plane without my parents and it was just me and my twin going over to England. The flight over was totally fine and kinda fun, but on the way back I was near in tears because, as you may know, I am quite the anxious person and we had gotten to our terminal with pretty much no bother and when we got there we sat for a bit and this guy was coming around checking the size of peoples bags. Ours had gotten through before so we were like we’ll be fine. Spoiler alert, we weren’t. It was the same airline, the same bags, the same stuff in it and the bag wouldn’t go in by like 1 mm. And I was like, we are never gonna get on this plane, we are going to be stranded here, I am never going to see my family again and the worker was talking about how it was too big and I was like but it got in before and he was like “not it didn’t” and I was like “bitch yes the fuck it did” and then he started talking about having to pay £30 to get it on the plane and I was like “we don’t have that much money with us” because we had just finished our trip and hadn’t brought much in the first place. And by that point I was panicking a lot inside and could only hear more about having to pay and i kept just saying “we can’t do that. We can’t afford that” and apparently by that point he was explaining that is what you normally had to do but he would let us off, so I defo looked like I was hiding something when in reality I was literally dying inside. That has traumatised me a wee bit, but as long as I just go with someone else for the rest of my life, I should be fine.

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Anyways, I would talk a bit about boats but like, in summary, they are boring and scary, so there you go. I also feel like I have gone on long enough and I am boring myself. But please comment down below if you liked this and whether you feel the same way or have had another bad experience to tell. Don’t forget to like and follow for even more content like this and to check out my other posts. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Going Back To “Normal”

Hey guys, so I haven’t really posted on here in a wee bit but like life happens so deal with it. Anyways, I guess I just wanted to just talk about how today I am kind of transitioning back into a normal, pre-covid, life. And what is it that I am doing you might ask? Well, I am going to be going back to Ju-Jitsu for the first time in forever which is kind of fun but at this point I don’t even know if I am interested in going and that could be because it has been a while or it could also be my mental state lol. A large portion of it is also not being able to body slam people and knock the shit out of them. You don’t really do that in Ju-Jitsu anyways, but like I did karate before and there were fights that you could do and it was actually quite fun. I think the only reason I stopped that was because it was becoming very serious for me and they wanted to put me in world championships and that shit but I am quite a home-bird and also that was around the time I started first year and my mental health was… declining. So yeah, in another world you could have been watching me knock the shit out of someone on the Olympics, but that would be women’s sports so I guess it isn’t that big. LOL THAT WAS A JOKE I SWEAR. I AM A WOMAN AND JUST MAKING FUN OF THE FACT MEN THINK WOMEN’S SPORTS IS BORING.

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But yeah, I think I tried 4 different martial arts classes in my lifetime. I also swear that when I first asked my parent’s if I could start karate I thought I was making up a word but I must have heard it from someone subconsciously and I was so freaked out when they said “sure”. I’m not sure if that was a mistake or not but I did ballet before and that was not my cuppa tea lets just say. I have a really embarrassing story from ballet but I don’t think I will ever tell you what it is. So I don’t know why I just told you that if I am not even going to tell the story lol but yeah it was embarrassing. Do you know what is funny though, and my English teacher would literally eat this up, is that I started my ‘martial arts journey’ in the leisure center and the 4th that I am in now is at the same leisure center! Cyclical structure?! I hate how I thought of that. LETS ANALYZE IT! no. I never have to do that again and I am thankful for that everyday.

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You probably aren’t wondering, but I am going to tell you, why I left each of the classes. They are pretty good stories actually so lets get started

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  1. The first place I went to was at the leisure center and it was for karate. My friend at the time went their too and I was like wow this is so fun. Except for when the grading part came (if you don’t know, this is how you go up the belts). The man that was their was so fucking creepy and there were so many people I didn’t know and the building that it was in was so sketchy and like had the worst vibes. I think a lot of my anxieties formed there. So that was one reason, and literally gave me PTSD to think about, but the other reason was because it was a small class and literally took fucking ages to move up just one belt. I think that for moving up each belt you had to do 2 gradings and then when you got to the higher belts you had to do 4 to get to the next belt. I know the black belt takes a while but like the fucking rest of them!? There was no need. So I left
  2. The second place I went to was probably one of my favorites because the people their were nice, I moved up pretty quickly because, ya know, I was a pro and all that. I stayed there a while and only left because high school really messed me up. I remember one time I literally cried when I was doing one of my gradings because I was so stressed out about everything. It was in a nice hall this time but like was still far from home and different to usual and really just set a bad vibe for the rest of the day. I liked this one a lot because they were obviously serious about it and actually did fighting and shit. There were competitions I went to and did well at and I nearly got to my brown belt I think, but I still remember the last day I went there and I was literally holding back tears and then when I got back to the car my mum was like “what’s wrong” and you know that hits different when you have been holding back tears the whole time, so then I quit. Little did I know that was only the fucking start lmao. High school was not good for me, let me tell you that. But I actually enjoyed it and fully miss it.
  3. The third place was BY FAR the worst of them all. I remember going to it and it was a fucking joke. I should have known from their logo and their fucking clown gees. It was new and my mum was like you need to go because you are good at martial arts and I was like fine and I actually hated it with a passion. They made it seem like they were so cool but they pretty much made up their own fucking martial art. These people spent 30 minutes of the 45 minutes doing warm ups and then the last 15 minutes I was having to work my way through literal fetuses doing random ass moves. They had a fucking grey belt! I might as well leave it there. They fully made up a belt and thought they were doing something. Like bitch just stop. And they would have all these literal weapons that looked like they were from an unrealistic ninja movie. I stayed there way too long and it was honestly embarrassing. People literally send their kids there and think they are gonna become a pro fighter but no, they are just gonna become a joke. So I left that place
  4. The forth place. The place I am at now. The place that I like despite a few different complications. The people there, to start, are mainly nice, but there are a select few who I… dislike strongly and would happily knock out. I am on my purple belt actually so have been there a while. The people are nice and, unlike the third place, they are official and not a joke. I am starting back today and the only reason I am not looking forward to it is that you aren’t even allowed to throw people so there quite literally will be nothing to do, but it’s fine. There are other reasons too but I think I have insulted my peers enough today.
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Anyways, that is all I can be bothered to talk about today. Lets hope it all goes well and I can control my emotions well enough. I am also not very fit after all that time off so literally watch me get the reddest face ever lmao. Are you guys starting anything normal at the moment or are a lot of your hobbies still closed? Leave your answer in the comment section below, I would love to hear what you are doing. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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The “Magical” Transformation That Happens When You Combine Two Of The Best Brain Reprogramming Technologies

You’ve heard of NLP? It’s almost cultish. It stands for neuro-linguistic programming and it’s like someone had taken the best out of all forms of psychotherapy, threw them in a blender and created NLP. If you don’t get what I’m saying, NLP is two things. First, it is a way of thinking. It’s a framework … Continue reading The “Magical” Transformation That Happens When You Combine Two Of The Best Brain Reprogramming Technologies

How to Learn to Sing!

Have you always wanted to become a singer? Many people dream of singing, but few take the steps required to learn. Here are some quick tips that will teach you how to learn singing, on your own or with assistance: <a href=”allylav” rel=”nofollow”><img src=”https://singorama.com/wp-content/uploads/Banner-duo.gif&#8221; width=”336″ height=”280″ border=”0″ /></a> How to Learn Singing – Before You … Continue reading How to Learn to Sing!

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Job Update (It Do Be Like That Sometimes)

So guys, I didn’t get the job, but I mean it’s fine. Honestly, like it’s fine. This was my first ever one to be fair so if I was expecting results, I would be a bit dumb you know. The truth is though, I don’t know what I would have done if I did get the job. The guy would ring me and be like “hey you got the job” and then I would be like “that’s great thank you” and then it would be an awkward pause just with me on the other line like what the fuck now. And if I got the job I would most definitely be like “well fuck. I don’t actually want to work though”. People always say to look at the positives, so in this situation that is that I have an excuse to do nothing. I guess I will have to look for more work in the mean time, but like doe now I can be like “damn, I wish I could be walking back and forth between Karen’s and a boiling kitchen with heavy plates and 0 hour of sleep. I guess I will just relax and be sad about it”.

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For me, I am the type of person whose social battery can go from 100 to 0 in a second. I’m basically an iPhone battery bitch cause it changes real quick. So imagine what I would be like if I had to be crazy happy for a bit and then all of a sudden I crashed. No tip for me I guess. This would literally be me… “Hi, My name is Ally and I am going to be your server today! What can I get for you guys 🙂 Ok, so that’s 2 burg… *crashes on ground, rolls into ball, sleeps*” and the customers are like “we’ll have chips with that too”. It would be a laugh but like everyone would think I am some sort of quirky emo.

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I guess I don’t feel too bad that I didn’t get the job because literally half of the people my age applied for it. I wonder how many got it though? Lol, everyone but me. Imagine. I could never step foot in that restaurant again, not like I go there anyways but still, I would keep my distance. The thing is though, I thought the interview went quite well. Me and the guy were kinda hitting it off, in the non-relationship way, as in we chatted. We had things in common and a bit of banter you know. Toxic friendship I suppose. Nrs only real ones know. But no, he actually didn’t really ask that many questions. Maybe that was a red flag that he already found the good ones and didn’t give a shit anymore. Do you guys want a re-inaction of what the thing was like, with a bit of a twist and my inner commentary. No? Shut up, Imma do it anyways.

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So I walked in, already sweating like a pig, and the restaurant was kind of empty but like there were a few people working there. I saw one girl and she was like “just wait there for a second” and I was like ok but I don’t want a fucking seat, I want to take your fucking job, but then another waitress was like “is everything ok” and I was like “no actually, life is pretty tough at the moment beca…”, “no I meant can I help you” and then I said I was here for an interview and I sat down for a bit at a random table which was kind of awkward because it was a reserved table and I didn’t know if that was for me or if a family would walk in and just see this random sweaty girl on their seat. Oh, I would also like to clear up that the whole “is everything ok” bit from above was a joke, I didn’t do that lol. Just making sure :/ But I was just there looking awkward as fuck because I didn’t want to go on my phone because the guy defo would have come and said no right on the spot for being a lazy hoe, so I just starred into nowhere as I sat and waited for 10 mins with my CV in my dripping, shaking hand. Then the guy came and I went from 0 to 100 real fast. Like, my waitress mode was turned on to maximum bitch.

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Oh my god, this part is so embarrassing, but when we were going to the table he was saying “the hand sanitizer is there but be careful when you press down because it can squirt out a bit” and I was like ok, there is no way I could mess this up, we are fine. The thing is, I thought it just meant it splattered a bit, but no. This bitch FLEW. Like I had my hand over it a bit to catch any spray, but this hoe went right over it. And I looked so dumb, but I don’t know if he saw. Like he just told me to be careful and then I went ahead and got it everywhere anyways. I was near wetting myself because it still was kinda funny to be honest. It really defied the laws of gravity. I really don’t know how it did that you know. Maybe that was the first test and he realised I was an absolute idiot so he just decided on the spot.

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There is more to the story really, but it isn’t even that funny or important, I just basically acted over enthusiastically and agreed to what he said. I also can’t be bothered to type the rest because I am quite the tired one today, but I will post tomorrow hopefully so don’t forget to subscribe, like and comment so that I can make this my job instead. Show that bottle of hand sanitizer that I am the shit. But yeah, I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Check out more posts

Weekly Reminder

I’ve heard a lot of people mention something that their therapist once told them to do. They said “the other day my therapist told me to look over at an empty chair and imagine child you sitting on it. They then asked me what I looked like and I said I looked happy and excited. … Continue reading Weekly Reminder

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Where Is The Back Button On Life? I Need Out Of This Bitch

This is not a drill guys! I was called yesterday by a manager of a restaurant I applied for and he booked me in for an interview on Monday. Bitch when I tell you I am shitting myself, I am quite literally shitting it. I mean did I apply for it? Yes. But it is all too real now. They are all gonna judge me and be like what is this bitch doing. And if I even get the job, I won’t be able to make friends with the other staff cause I can’t even socialize! Like I am going to be so out of place and I literally won’t be able to get everyone’s food on time or hold all the plates or talk or write down quickly. I hope they got tablets for us because I don’t think anyone could understand my writing. I have a literal doctor’s handwriting after a 24 hour shift and 200 pages signed. Like it really is that bad.

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I don’t know why I am freaking out already though because I haven’t even got the job and it isn’t until Monday that I have the interview, but this is my first ever one. I don’t know what to wear and like what if I dress up too much or too little. What if I can’t hear what they are saying and I have to do that awkward shit where you ask them to say that again for the 5th time. Or what if they ask me a stupid fucking question that I didn’t prepare for and it is just me staring at them awkwardly like “oh shit”. I don’t think I am cut out to be a waitress in all honesty. I had always been excited to start a job and earn some money, but now that there is a chance that could happen, I don’t want it anymore. I am happy to just live on the streets. I’ll sneak onto a cruise and go across the world. Or maybe I will make friends with some rich old man who will let me live on his boat and when he dies I can just sail away and never have to work. To be fair though, I am looking forward to tips though, and also if there are Karen’s I can actually say something, to an extent I guess. Because when you hear them in a restaurant you literally want to shout over to them and say “watch your mouth bitch. It isn’t their fault that they don’t serve your great grandma’s famous cheese sauce”. I won’t be able to say that but like I can say something a bit passive aggressive and slabber about it later.

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What I also can’t stand the thought of is being the new girl. Like what if they call me newbie for the rest of my life or if I make a mistake they will call me something like… I don’t know a nickname for that but you get what I mean. I am not ready for that. They will all have their friends already too so I will just be that awkward girl who is sweating profusely and being really quiet. I don’t want that. They could all be chavs too or like really annoying and it would be so awkward if it was just me and one other person just staring like “hey” with that awkward white person smile. I think that if I wasn’t hired, I could never go back to that restaurant ever again because that would be embarrassing as fuck, like imagine me going in and then everyone is like “look at that actual idiot that couldn’t even get into a crusty restaurant. It is a nice restaurant though but just for the purpose of this post let’s say it is crusty. It is also gonna be so awkward because when I go in I will have to be like “hey, I am here to like take your job” and then they will have to lead me to the room.

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Also when I was on the call, the man sounded nice and all but he cut out for a minute and then I did understand him but like I was panicking about what he could have said and then he said what time to come down and now that I look back at it I am scared in case I got it wrong. Like what if I go in and say “hey I am here for an interview” and they are like “bitch that isn’t for another week” or “you stupid bitch, that was 2 days ago”. Like I can’t handle the embarrassment. And what if I go “hey I am here for an interview” and then they look at me like “ok? the fuck you want me to do?”. I would walk right out to be honest. After the manager had called I literally sent a fucking documentary of a rant to my friends, pretty much like this, and because I am the first one to do this, they did fuck all and I was here like wow, so much help guys thanks. And some were like “oh my I’d be shitting myself”. Yeah no shit. I also told them to apply for it and I don’t know if they have yet, but like that would be so much better. It would be bloody awkward though if they got it and I didn’t and now they are the ones alone and I am just standing awkwardly like “so… was it that scary”. I also don’t cope well under that much stress and people concentrating on me and it always shows as well. Like my face goes so red that it looks like it is about to explode and I sweat like a bitch. I slur my words and literally get sweaty ass hands, so if they go to shake it, they gonna be getting one unpleasant surprise.

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So, if you haven’t noticed yet, I am terrified. If any of you guys have any tips with interviews or being a waitress, that would be really helpful to hear in the comments. And maybe if you have any of your own stories or how you felt getting your first interview that would be great. Hopefully on Monday I tell you a success story, and not an embarrassing one because I may have to just leave this planet forever. Everyone always says to “just be yourself” but I don’t like myself so why would anyone else?! I have the worst sense of humor so if I attempt a joke and they just stare at me, I am running out, or at least trying to with wobbly legs. Anyways, please send in any tips or stories, whether that is embarrassing, fun or just normal. I hope you guys have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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The Audacity

Hey guys, so if you have read my blog before, you will know that I have a twin sister. We have pretty much the same friend group but there are a few people that she would be more friendly with than me because… well, I’m a socially awkward kinda bitch. But the reason the title of this post is “the audacity” is because she went out with one of her friends and I realised, she has a life away from me. That cheeky bitch.

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Was that time we spent together in the womb not enough for her?! I mean how can she function and survive away from me. It just isn’t allowed. I mean if they asked me if I wanted to go out, would I say yes? Probably not because I am starting this thing called “slowly growing apart from others until I have no friends and eventually be in the elite level of depression”. It isn’t funny. I highly don’t recommend but I can’t go back now lol. I really can but that is besides the point. I then realised that my older sister and my mum and my dad have a life. They are not just characters that only live for my life. They have friends, a personality, they must be nice if people actually want to be around them. People see them as a friend or a co-worker and not as a parent or a sister. And sometimes you just gotta take a moment to realise all that and kind of understand the… what’s the word… the audacity. Even you, the person reading this, has a life. You are somewhere in the world doing something, maybe you are on a train, you are on a plane, you just woke up from a nap, maybe you are having lunch. I don’t even know! But you have a whole freaking life and by some miracle you are reading my own freaking post and I don’t know how low your day has got to get to reading this shit of a post, but hey, thanks I suppose.

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Do you know what else makes me go “the audacity of that bitch” is whenever you are walking and a person that clearly sees you doesn’t move out of the way even a bit when the are taking up the whole path. Let me tell you a few stories about a couple of those times. So it was last Christmas. I was walking my dog as you do, and this kid, an obvious prick, was on his bike around his street. I was on the footpath and he was on the road and I was walking, minding my own business. There were no cars around or nothing. Just me on the footpath and him on the road. And guess what this idiot decides to do. He looks me straight in the eye, goes onto the foot path and cycles right into me. He nearly fucking hit my dog and I wouldn’t give as much of a shit if he hit me, but if he hit my dog, lets just say I would be on Santa’s naughty list and he would be on the ground. He is defo gonna be a chav when he grows up. I just glared and was just thinking that he is gonna be a prick to some poor person in the future. He is gonna be so mean to whoever he is around and I hope to fuck it ain’t me. Next time I plan to just stop and let him move out of the way first because ladies first bitch!

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Another time something like this happened was literally last week and again I was walking my dog and it was in a forest park so the paths are a fine size, but there isn’t much space to go off the path if you needed to. So I was walking and this man and his wife we walking towards me. They dead-ass looked me in the eyes, they fucking saw me, and I moved to the side a bit to be polite because I know there is still the whole “respect your elders” bullshit, but I couldn’t move much further so I expected them to at least move to the side a bit, especially with the pandemilevato. But guess what, they don’t move an inch. Not a fucking millimetre and here I was looking like an actual ass because I had to turn into a fucking leaf just to not bump into them. And you may say they didn’t have enough room or they didn’t see me. But they looked right at me, they could have gone one behind the other or moved over a bit, and they did the same thing again. I am going to make a pact with you guys though, and you have to try and do the same. Next time you see that someone is going to do something similar to you, don’t move. Stand your ground and then if the people turn around and be like “your rude” or “why did you hit into me” just say “because I haven’t got no more fucks to give”. I mean quite obviously, don’t do this to a car or if you yourself are in a car because I don’t want to be charged for being the cause of a murder.

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Reading through this post, the vibes changed quite quickly didn’t they, but I think that was a pretty relatable one if I say so myself. But anyways, don’t forget to like, follow and comment if you enjoyed that content. Make sure you check out some of my other posts as well because, not to toot my own horn, but some are pretty good. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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Guess Whose Back!

Bro, obviously it’s me but I just needed something a bit more exciting as the title because I don’t think many people would click on “Sorry I have posted the last few days, I was busy” so yeah, if you guessed right then well done, but if not then I hope for you sake that this is the first time reading my blog. I don’t really know what I am going to talk about in this blog but I promised myself that I would post something today because I haven’t posted in a while and I feel like, as a very very professional business woman, it is not in my optimal interest that I do not expel a writing into the world of the internet. I really hope you guys know that was a joke and that I am not some sort of business bitch with a stick up my ass. So yeah, I just thought I shouldn’t leave my blog posts so far apart.

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If you were wanting an explanation for why I wasn’t posting, it is because it was my birthday and because of corona and all that crap I couldn’t have all of my friends over at once so I kinda split it up into groups. I know that makes me sound like a proper popular bitch, but the truth is I am not and it is just because my mum rented me and my twin a hot tub and we couldn’t have a lot of people in it, and the corona thing of course. Also my question is, why do I always try to reassure people that I am not popular. I mean is it because I think it makes me look more ‘relatable’? I don’t think so. Is it because I think a lot of popular people are as fake as Nicki Minaj’s ass, or as toxic as my last relationship? Maybe. But I do find myself doing that a lot which kind of also makes me seem like one of those ‘pick me’ bitches who wants to seem so #relatable. Anyways, that is a bit off top, except there was no topic so really it was off. But off what? If it isn’t off anything then it wasn’t on anything so then it is nothing, so I guess this whole paragraph isn’t off topic so that’s good.

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For my birthday my mum got me 2 driving lessons with the young drivers things and I have to say I am quite buzzing because I have asked my mum for ages if I can even just turn on the car and she was like “no” every time. I am pretty certain that she has like trauma from teaching my older sister and isn’t quite prepared to have to teach 2 at the same time, so that isn’t the best for me I guess. I don’t blame her though, I mean even now that my sister got her license I am terrified because her road rage is… let’s just say it could start WW3, so yeah. Those trips are fun :/ But like mum why would you develop 2 people in your womb if you couldn’t teach them both to drive? I mean were you not thinking about that?! Absolutely raging. I don’t mind though, except I kinda do, but like I am not even at the legal age to get my license, so I suppose I shouldn’t be complaining, but I am to you guys so enjoy that I suppose. I wonder what the people in the young drivers thing are like. Are they super relaxed and are ready to crash into some sort of building, or do they have so much anxiety of a minor driving a car for the first time that they ensure absolutely nothing happens. What if they have road rage like my sister? I couldn’t be dealing. I also have this thing where I have to say every little thing I am about to do when I am learning something and it is quite embarrassing to be honest. It isn’t until I have perfected it that I stop and even then, if someone is watching, I do it. Like in Ju-Jitsu, whenever I learned a new throw or something, I would be like “ok so punch and then block and turn around, foot there, arm, lean forward, throw, grab wrist and punch ok ” Like I whisper it under my breath so it isn’t even that but what if I sound insane like I am talking to someone and then the instructor is just like “what the fuck” and huddling in the corner just staring at me. I also go really red whenever I do something wrong or am with any living being so he will either think I have stopped breathing, turning into the devil, or turning into baby jack jack from the incredible’s. But it will be fun right?!

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Anyways, this post kinda went all over the place, but like I think I might start the podcast I had been talking about because it is much easier to ramble on when you talk than with a computer and it also makes you seem less like a psychopath. I keep saying that I will but then nobody even says anything so I don’t know if you just don’t give a shit or what but I have a tendency to not doing something until someone else agrees with it or replies in a positive way so like if you think I should start a podcast, defo go ahead and comment because I am quite messed up mentally. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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Go read some more…

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Here’s What I Think About Birthday’s

So, it is my birthday tomorrow no biggy. I’m not going to say my age because, despite the fact I may have said before or if you have already made a guess, I don’t really want any 70 year old creepy men popping up in the comments, but anyways. I am at the age where talking about getting old makes me sound like ‘that bitch’ because I am not that old, but I would say that the difference between me now and me when I was pretty much a foetus is quite different and I am wondering if you guys think the same way.

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I ain’t gonna lie ok, I like going to people’s birthdays, but when I have to think of gifts or when I have to plan my own birthday, I run out of fucks to give you know. Like so what I was born onto this earth on exactly this day so many years ago, but as far as I am concerned, that isn’t something to celebrate. And I also have a twin which makes it a nightmare because we are literally polar opposites and, luckily we have mostly the same friends, but there are things that I want do and she doesn’t. And eventually it gets to the point that we just disagree with any of the other person’s ideas just out of spite. Like why am I organizing something for my day? But do you know what is fucking hilarious about having to share a birthday with a twin is that, because I am 1 freaking minute younger, my sister would always make the joke that I should do everything one minute after her, and then when we were younger cakes were very confusing too. Not because we shared one but because when we went to visit other family members for our birthday, we would bring other cakes like the classic Tescos ones or the OG Collin the caterpillar. And being the dumb fucking child I was, I wouldn’t catch on that this cake was for us and there were other people who have birthdays around the same time as us. So one day, when I was turning 7 (and so was my twin! What a coincidence !) I saw my dad taking out a cake and some candles and then later on that day they brought it out and I started signing happy birthday because of course. Tell me why my dumb ass thought it was my Granda’s 77th birthday! And then my dad put the cake in front of me and my sister and it took me a minute to click that it had literally been my birthday yesterday and they just got a candle for us each to blow out. How dumb must I have looked to be singing Happy Birthday to myself while looking around looking for the birthday girl or boy. Maybe that’s where my life started going down hill?

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What I have also realised is that the excitement for my birthday has really plummeted because back then I would be counting down the bloody minutes until my birthday, but now I really do not give a shit. I never even know what to ask for my birthday and everyone is popping up like “what do ya want” and here I am like “I don’t know! A fucking life?”. I mean there are many things I want that you can’t buy. Maybe a hobby, happiness, excitement! But then you end up with a pair of socks (which I actually do like to be fair but lets just say it for the point of this bit) that I have to be like “ah yes exactly what I wanted”. I also hate opening presents because they are just staring at you and you need to act as though this is the best thing you have ever witnessed in your life while trying to make it not obvious that, although you like it, you aren’t absolutely jumping with joy, you just want to make sure they know that you like it. And then after you open it all you just sit there quietly for a second like 😐 What the fuck do we do now. It’s a whole awkward situation and there is a lot of trying to make it seem like a special day, but in reality I am just glad that there is one year less to go.

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What I find funny though is thinking of your age as your level as if you were in a game. Like imagine being like “yes I’m level 26!” That sounds a lot cooler and maybe then older people will be less embarrassed by their age and we won’t have to hear “oooh I’m 25” whenever you ask them what age they are turning. We know your fucking ancient Karen! No need to lie! And it also makes sense because at each level you unlock something new. At 18 you can go into 18 films in the cinema. And when you get to 21 or something, you get student debt! Then when you are around 25-30 you get married and unlock a kid if you want. And you get a mortgage! How fun. And depending on how you live, you may get damage points like “-100 back health” or “+100 obesity”. That kind of thing. Watch the FBI agent in my computer get freaked out like “FUCK THIS BITCH HAS CRACKED THE CODE” LMAO imagine. I wouldn’t care to be honest with you.

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But yeah, don’t really know what else to say about birthdays at the moment, I guess you kind of just grow out of them as you get older. You don’t get all excited over the Lego set that you asked for, or the face painters that are coming over tomorrow. Wow, not me literally depressing you all, but anyways I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.


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The Next Generation Are Going To Be Messed Up and Here Is Why

I was thinking about this today and it really got me worried. I have never seen an embarrassing photo of a baby in a long time. I don’t mean in old photos, but I mean that on Instagram, the babies are always in Nike or Gucci with their hair immaculate and they never are caught in a bad moment. So why is this bad you may ask? Well, let me tell you. How the hell are these kids going to be humbled when they grow up and don’t have any embarrassing photos to look back on? Answer me that because all of their generation are gonna walk around feeling like they are absolutely perfect and, while we love self confidence, you don’t want to be a bitch about it. My generation are humbled by the fact that there are hundreds of our photos scattered around our house that could completely ruin our life. Like there are a few where, if they got into the world, I may never recover from. But they don’t have that. They voluntarily release it into the world with the caption “I woke up like this” while when I was there age I woke up with the 2 different Dora the explora pj’s and a bush of hair. And that would be a good day.

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To be fair though it kind of makes us more iconic. I mean I suppose it is very embarrassing when your mum or dad whips it out one day out of the blue and shows it to every breathing thing in the street, but it’s a bit of fun. Because you know everyone else has embarrassing photos so it is fine and is quite a fun time. Like their friend group is going to be so dry because they won’t have any embarrassing or funny stories to completely die about. The most they will have is the time their mum didn’t match their Gucci handbag to their Gucci belt. It isn’t ok to be honest. They will be able to sleep at night. They won’t get that flashback every night of that embarrassing point in their life 10 years ago. The audacity.

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I still get haunted by this one photo I have that is literally of 2 year old me butt naked by the side of the pool just chilling and obviously, instead of being parents and getting me changed or out of the view of others, they decided to take a bloody photo and print it out for everyone to be scared by. But again, it’s a big lol moment and I am not ashamed. At least I have a personality. At least I have the reassurance that, despite the shittness of my life, I look better than I used to. I know that I have at least evolved from that moment if nothing else. So what I looked like a crack head baby?! Who wasn’t? I think that when I have kids I will make sure they are allowed to just be kids and roam around so that I can take as many embarrassing photos as I can with great camera quality and then in the future they will be so pissed but I can look at them straight in the eyes and say with all honesty “It’s for your own good, kid”. Maybe they will hate me but at least my kid won’t into a cheeky bitch or a bully because they think they are better than anyone else.

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Honestly, what will happen if they only have good baby photos? Surely that will have some affect. I mean, imagine peaking when you are a literal foetus and when you are older you know that you can never get much better than that because now instead of expensive designer clothes, you are stuck with Primark tops and sketchers. Too be fair, primark is top notch and I am sorry if I just offended it there. I will forever worship primark. But yeah, to all the parents out there with the generation I am talking about, please, for the sake of humanity and your children’s future, dress them up like unicorn barf and let them get all muddy and be like actual kids. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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The Audacity

Hey guys, so if you have read my blog before, you will know that I have a twin sister. We have pretty much the same friend group but there are a few people that she would be more friendly with than me because… well, I’m a socially awkward kinda bitch. But the reason the title … Continue reading The Audacity

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Superpowers You Get Living With Your Family

Don’t be expecting some type of soppy shit like “the ability to love” or “empathy” because this is not it bitch. This is the honest shit and it is especially relatable if you have siblings but maybe you do still understand. For context, I have an older sister and a twin sister and I live with my mum and dad, so yeah I can’t really speak for those with younger siblings or those with brothers. Also, if you aren’t a twin, you may learn somethings about what life as a twin is like but I mean you probably don’t give a shit so I suppose we will just get into it lol.

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Hearing

Do you guys get it as well where like you can tell who is coming by the sound of their footsteps and how they walk down stairs and like open doors or something like that because it really is a talent. It’s pretty handy though because you know that if it is your mum or dad or an adult of some sort, you just gotta get ready for either a deep convo, shouting, or your dad coming to fix something. But then there are also the times where they just come up and say hi and stand in your room for a second and then just leave WITHOUT CLOSING THE DOOR and then you ask them to close it and they go running down the stairs like there sore back has suddenly fucking healed itself. And you just lying in bed like what the actual fuck. And it is extra random because my bedroom is on the third floor and they never come up unless they have too, but they just get a burst of energy to go up and move everything around. And then, if it is your sisters, you just getting ready to scare them or fight them, or laugh uncontrollably, or throw them out of the room. It really is a wild card to be honest but all of the choices are a lot of fun. It is weird though how you can tell people by their footsteps but I guess it is cool too

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Thinking On Your Feet

You see, the thing is, when you have siblings you always want to get the last word, even if it doesn’t even make any sense, but it has to make enough sense to not get laughed at. It is quite the skill but can get really aggravating after a while because how can you end something that nobody wants to finish? It is quite the puzzle but the things you come up with are absolute comedy gold, at some times anyways. But like it kinda gets to playground come backs where you are just like “no your the idiot” or like you mumble it under your breath so they think they won but really you did, and you also do this when walking away. This kinda ties into the super hearing as well because I could be upstairs and they would be downstairs and whisper “idiot” and I would hear them. Then you have the choice of whispering it back or screaming down the stairs “I HEARD THE YOU BITCH”. The great thing about it all is that they never take offense to what you say. You could tell them they look like Donald Trump or some shit and then we would literally be on the floor laughing. The emotions change very quickly lmao

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Reading Minds

The closest that you can come to relating to this if you don’t have siblings is when you can look at your best fried from across the room and you just know what they are thinking. Like if the teacher is talking absolute shit and you just look over at your friend and they look back, it is pretty much that. An example of when this happened was when my dad was telling this absolute random story that sounded as though it was going to have a big shock factor at the end but it just was such a pointless story and then I was like “great story dad” and then he looked at me like I just insulted his mother and I just looked at my twin and we just started pissing ourselves it was so funny. I guess humor has changed a lot or something because he was not impressed. But like nowadays that is just how you talk to your friends. Sarcastically. So me and my twin were dying at how he found it offensive. Does anyone else do it where you walk into a room and your sister is there and you just stare at them straight in the eyes with a straight face for like a couple of seconds and then either just walk away or go like “boo” or scream or some crap. I feel like I am the only one that does that and it is a real bonding moment if you get me. Highly recommend.

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Vigilance

I swear to god I literally gotta be James Bond in this hoe because you are never safe walking into another room. You never know when someone is gonna jump out at you and you gotta scan the perimeter as tough we were escorting a celebrity (I was going to say president but…) Like I literally check the crack through the door and I analyse every shadow and reflection. The biggest success is when you realise they are going to jump out so you scare them first. How the turns table. I get scared when I go out of the bathroom because that is the most vulnerable place to be in my opinion. And also you gotta be prepared for something else. This is mostly when you go in their room and usually only happens when you are younger, but you gotta look out for booby traps. I remember that when me and my twin were like 6 or something, my twin went into my sisters room to tell her dinner was ready and then a fucking encyclopedia fell from the ceiling and hit her on the head lmao. It is those moments that would make me a bad parent because I would actually be crying because it is so funny. Like absolute genius move. You can’t take things too serious in this job. This job being a sibling. That was quite the funny moment though, but I have never had it happen to me. Maybe it is more of an american thing or something. I might have to give it a try. But surely it’s a bit obvious like, if you were talking to someones door and there is just a pile of books and you can see your sister looking evil and about to laugh, I don’t think it will work anymore. Guess we gotta find out. IT WORKED LMAO

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Loyalty

That isn’t really a superpower but I didn’t really know how to word it. Basically what I mean is that you know when to pick your battles and you can change your objectives in a second. For example, I could be talking shit right in front of them, but if I hear anyone say the littlest thing, they will be body slammed by me. Like no matter who they are or what they say, I will be coming for them you know. Like the confidence comes from nowhere it’s literally crazy. I myself am a socially awkward bitch, but you know I’m about to cause a scene if needs be. Can’t nobody treat my sister with anything less than love. Don’t test me bitches because it may seem like I hate them but in reality they mean the world to me and I will do what it takes for her to get the respect she deserves. So yeah, whatever superpower that is. Is it shape shifting? Or like a hulk thing where you just get all the power in the world? Who knows? Who cares?

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Anyways, these are just a few of the powers you get when you are a sister. They can vary from family to family I suppose but these are the most relatable ones that I know. If there are any things you and your siblings do, or your family in general, go ahead and comment down below, I would love to see what you guys do and I might mention them in my next post. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.


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Guess Whose Back!

Bro, obviously it’s me but I just needed something a bit more exciting as the title because I don’t think many people would click on “Sorry I have posted the last few days, I was busy” so yeah, if you guessed right then well … Continue reading Guess Whose Back!

Weekly Reminder

Hello guys, so I have posted in like two days but don’t worry it was just for my birthday so didn’t really have much time, but I’m back now so we are good to go. And what a better way to get back into … Continue reading Weekly Reminder

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Spot The Difference | It’s Summer Bitches!

Bro if you came here looking for fucking pictures where one blade of grass is missing from one photo, you clicked on the wrong post. This is just a cheeky wee story time about how times have changed between summer when I was pretty much a foetus and summer now. Because there is a lot that changes surprisingly enough and I just want to bring that to your attention because… why not? You know so like sorry to disappoint the 5 year old that was looking for a fun time spotting the difference between 2 pictures of a tiger, but like, that’s life bro. Things aren’t as they seem 😮 *X-files theme tune*

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That was a bit weird. But anyways, let’s get into the differences of childhood summer and present summer. I remember that when I was in primary school, on the last day of school you would be saying goodbye to your friends and saying things like “see you 2 months” and “I am going to miss you so much”. Like bitch this isn’t the end of the world. I mean it isn’t like they are about to vanish into thin air. It was such an emotional time. But now, we just look at each other with emotionless faces because we are literally all depressed and then be like “ok bye. See you tomorrow?” and they will be like “yeah” and then you walk away and keep talking on snapchat. There is no crying or waving or any of that crap. That is a good thing I guess but like kind of takes away the fun of it. Leaving in primary school was such a depressing thing and school was such an amazing time. But now our whole life is depressing, and summer is just a little less depressing. How the turns table. Pretty much, the best way to describe it is as though primary school was high-school musical. Everyone would be jumping around and singing as though we just had a line of crack, we’d all be screeching “what time is it! Summer time!” and acting like our lives were about to change forever. But like, in high-school, it is still fun and the atmosphere is different, but now it is kind of like an “every man for themselves” situation because all the rugby lads are throwing things and ramming into things, and then sometimes there may not be enough sweets to go around everyone so it is a literal war. And if anyone dares to sing or dance, they get slammed in the head with a dictionary. That’s always fun lol.

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Something I really miss from primary school though is when, usually on the last day of school it would be a “none school uniform day” and the night before that was absolutely banging because you would pick out your best Minnie the mouse top and your best heelies and then you would lay them out like you would wear them. You’d have the top spread out, the shoes, the pants, the trousers or whatever and it was so exciting. I always would love waking up and getting into my perfectly laid out clothes. Why did we literally find every little thing so amazing? I kinda miss it though. Now, for me, we don’t really have non-school uniform day and even if we did, I would just picture what I will wear in my head and then probably change that 10 times in the morning along with a few mental breakdowns here and there. It’s a process I would say but it doesn’t happen that often. The thing is, back then we wouldn’t give a flying fuck what people thought about our clothes. We thought that the literal unicorn barf aesthetic was the best thing in the world. Now it is really tense and awkward wearing our own clothes and you just kinda wish you weren’t even there. Or at least, that is how I feel. Some people are more confident than others I suppose. I miss having that excitement every night and not being able to wait to go to bed because it meant you would get to that day faster. LOL that’s depressing

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Yooo, I literally just remembered something else from summer during childhood. This was whenever you were going on a trip or something, and my mum would bring us to Tescos or something to get us a magazine for the plane and it was so bloody exciting. We never got them except for plan trips and we could get whatever we wanted. I would spend my time looking at each and every one of them, when in reality I was looking for the best toy. I didn’t care if the magazine was absolute crap, as long as the toy was the coolest. And then we wouldn’t be able to open them until we got on the plane which was a few days after so you would get more excited to get the magazine than to actually go on holiday. Or at least that was what I felt. It was such a gift, to get a £2 magazine with a plastic toy that did fuck all. And now, nobody even reads magazines anymore. At most I bring a book, but there is no excitement attached with that. I usually just go on my phone and listen to music or something and just wait to land in whatever country it was we were going. And sometimes you would see another kid getting handed their magazine and they look so chuffed. But that isn’t actually as common anymore. Usually they just get handed their iPad and I kinda feel bad for them. Although it is exciting to them, they missed out on a huge chunk of what was so thrilling as a child. I know that I probably sound like an ancient old woman, but I am literally the last generation to not have all the technology growing up. And I am glad because most of my favourite memories are from times where I didn’t have an iPad or anything like that. Like when I was big into reading and would be brought into so many magical worlds, or whenever I would play outside with my friends making potions and playing mums and dads. I miss it I suppose but I am too old for that now and I have little to no imagination.

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That actually turned out to be quite the depressing post. I wanted it to be more comedy like, but how can you make such an emotional realization and change into something funny? I am glad that I did have a good childhood and I am so lucky to say that. At least I have that to remember now, during my shitty life as a teen. Comment down below what you guys did in your childhood. What made you the most excited? What do you miss the most? What do you think about kids lives now a day? I’m interested to hear what you think. Please like and subscribe if you liked this kind of content and I will see you tomorrow for more. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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Weekly Reminder

My last ever GCSE exam (hopefully) is on tomorrow. Pretty freaky. Didn’t really think I would make it this far. I was wanting to do one of the things where it is like after 2 years, 107 hours of study, 20 mental break downs etc. but I can’t add up all of the mental breakdowns I had because it is a fuck tone, while on the other hand, I could count all my study hours on one hand. Why is that literally not even a joke though lol? But anyway, this is serious. I have my biology exam tomorrow and let’s just say it isn’t my strong point, but I am excited to get it done and over with after 5 years of being forced to do it. I am kinda scared, kind of excited, very much exhausted, but I just wanted to make a reminder to all of the people out there who are in a similar situation or are doing something difficult at the moment. You never know, somebody could be reading this in 2050 on mars and they are reading this in their mind thinking it is so retro that I have to use my fingers to type and they are just vibing in some space hope. Either that or WW3 wiped all of humanity out lol. But even if you are that person, I hope this will help you in some way, although isn’t the only problem is the shortage of mums? Mars needs mums :/ sorry that was a bad one I have to admit. This is supposed to be serious actually, but I also wanted to talk about it in another way, through a story. So enjoy.

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I am on the first step. You know, the steps you are told to take if you want to succeed. There are only 4 of them which seems easy, but it’s kinda hard. But maybe I am just overthinking these things. The first step, the one I am on, is getting straight A’s in school. That was a hard one to. I had to ignore friends and write lots of notes. I got very little sleep, but I got there eventually. Sure, I lost a lot, but it’s worth it, right? My next step is getting a degree. This one seems fun with the parties and friends, but I can’t quite see why people pay so much for it. I guess I will find out when I’m there. The thing is, step 2 is quite dangerous in terms of survival. A lot of people usually don’t make it past here because of mental problems, some completely lose the degree and go tumbling down the stairs. I have never seen anyone get back up after falling down. But that won’t happen to me. Obviously, it won’t, because I am different. My parents told me so. After you get your degree you can move on to step 3. Or as it better know, the point of no return. Once you get there they don’t let you back down, or at least they very rarely do. What is up there? Oh, a secure job. Or, well, they call it secure, but I have seen lots of people fall down from there. But that won’t happen to me when I get up there. I am going to be so smart and ready, and just like my parents said, I am different. So I am not worried about it. You have to stay there for a while though. Pretty much for the majority of your life. But it’s cool. You can get a family and a house. But that is pretty much it, I suppose.

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Then comes the last step. Step 4. That can only happen if you have gathered a good enough pension in step 3. If not, then you are booted down the steps again. I don’t think they do much up there though. It is a lot of waiting to go through the pearly gates at the end. Why? Because the pension they got usually doesn’t leave much room for adventure and by that point, they are exhausted. Who can blame them though, it is an awfully long journey. I am not sure what is past the gates though. People come up with all types of stuff and it is pretty cool. I am looking forward to it I guess. I mean if I went all that way to get there, it better be worth it. But no matter what, I am still on the first step. Just waiting on the cold rock steps. People seem to like it here, but I don’t. I can’t stop getting the feeling that there is something more. I have asked others about it, but they say that is all fake and never actually happens. Especially to people like us. But I swear that at times when I look around, I see other steps in the distance. It just flickers and maybe it is a hallucination, but it seems so real. So fascinating. There are never many people on it though, despite the fact that it looks so much nicer than over here. Every time I see it, it stays for longer and it gets closer. I am fed up with trying to show the others because they make me feel crazy and it makes me move farther away. So I keep this to myself in hopes that someday I get close enough to reach them.
It’s been a week. I am on the 3rd step now. I mean it is fun but it gets me distracted from the other steps. I feel as though I am always looking at what else there is, and not at the next step to success like everyone else. I think I am just dreaming and I haven’t come to terms that this is the best way for me to get to the gates. The way that I can make my parents proud of me and get the right job for a comfortable retirement. It still bugs me though. I mean why, after all these years of being so set on what to do and how I will do it, I suddenly don’t want it anymore. I mean I am fixating on the impossible.

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Another week. I have decided that I am going to jump. I can’t bear being on these steps anymore when I know that there is something else out there. At this point, I don’t even care if I don’t find anything because it will always be better than there. I have lost too many people to step 3 and I don’t want to become one of them. I have no skills for this, no knowledge. All of my schooling years have taught me nothing about how to make it to the other steps, so I have to find it on my own. There is no turning back now, but I am going to try everything I can to get to a better place.
I’ve made it! After all the long, lonely weeks, I have found the steps. I made sure to not let it out of my sight. I put everything I had left into getting there and I made it. When I got there, I looked up and my breath was taken away. I finally found where I was meant to be. The steps were nicely laid out, there weren’t as many people, it looked like a steep trek, but each seemed so much better than the one before. The people who fall down a step don’t get stuck at the bottom. They seem to have the support of some kind. I am pretty sure they call it knowledge, or determination, or something along those lines. There are so many more steps, but they get easier and shorter every time you get to the next one. The people look so much happier here than on my other step. Why did nobody tell me about this? Why was I told that the steps to success were over there when the ones right in front of me seem so much better? Well, I guess it is time to find out. It is time to get started.
I am on the first step. You know, the steps that were only in the movies and never talked about. There are many to go which seems hard, but it’s kinda awesome. Maybe I am different after all.
———————————————————— The end ————————————————————

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Anyways, that’s the story. What this kind of means is just that, despite what other’s tell you and what you think is right, there are different steps out there. Despite the fact you might be told it is ridiculous or fake, it is possible. So no matter what happens with your exams, or later on in life, you aren’t useless, these just aren’t the steps for you. But when you find them, you will be so happy and it will be so worth the wait. So take the risk, go against what they say, and it will be so worth it.


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Here’s The Thing About GCSEs…

So yesterday I just finished my last ever English exam and saying I am buzzing is pretty much an understatement. I mean I am pretty sure I failed it but it is over now so I don’t give a shit. But the thing is, GCSEs weren’t even such a big deal. Maybe that is because of corona or something, but literally I didn’t revise until the night before for all of them. Now of course it is a bit different this year. There aren’t as many and we knew more about what was going to be on the exam, but like still. And I am kinda raging about it because for the past 5 years I have literally been working my ass off just to get good grades in my trackers which don’t even matter, but when it comes to my GCSEs I have literally given up. Maybe that is saying something about my mental health?

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What was I getting at again? Oh yes, so for the past few years I have literally been looking at GCSEs like they were the devil. They aren’t no perfect peter like, but they aren’t as bad as they seem. The truth is, I get more stressed out that I am not stressed out, because these kind of determine my future so if I don’t do well in them, let’s just say I will have to get used to the smell of McDonalds. The fear kind of only hits me right before when I literally just sit down to do it and then realise “oh shit, I don’t know anything”. But at that point it is too late and I have to rely on others being in the same position. My excuse though is just that I am not great at memorizing words and putting them down on a test, which is pretty much exactly what GCSEs are, a memory test. I think that is why I like languages because it is testing what you know, not what you can memorise and forget about later. Like, I hate the writing part of Spanish because that is just memorizing things, but for reading and listening, you can’t learn things word for word and it just tests your general knowledge of it.

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I have to admit, the GCSE years were the best so far. Well, despite the fact there was a pandemic and I was actually out of school more than I was in it, but the vibes and the classes were better. Especially the last couple of months, because you have the motivation of “I will never have to do this topic ever again”. Like when I finished my essay and finally put my pen down I was just thinking that I will never have to analyse the significance of the colour brown or the full stop at the end of a sentence. I will never have to learn a 10 page essay by heart just so I can at least pass. I will never have to hear and see the teacher’s passive aggressive face and voice as the go “hmmmmmmmm WELlllllLLLLllll you are on the right track, you aren’t wrong, but let’s develop that a bit, Ok?”. The subjects I have been forced to do that brought me internal suffering are done forever and it is literally like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. And quite literally because my English file weighs a fuck ton.

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That being said though, in your GCSE years, you get to know your teacher’s better and they begin to actually respect you and get to know you. You get to see the teacher’s who genuinely love their job and you start to tear up at the idea that you don’t have much time left with them. I only have one day left of school this year, and despite the fact I have 2 years ahead of me, I was gonna miss the teachers. There are gonna be some that I will never have again because I don’t do their subject, yet they are literally my favourite people. Yesterday, one of our french teachers made crepes for everyone for form period and apparently she had spent the past 5 nights staying up to make them for us. And the look on her face because she was so proud of herself and happy at being a teacher, near made me cry. And then there are other teacher’s running around talking to you, getting photos and helping out. They are literally like your other mums and dads. This is the moment where you see the teacher’s that genuinely love being a teacher and it is so great because in first year or third year, you just saw them as teachers who give you lots of homework, but then later on you realise they are actual people and have personalities. You are able to see how much effort they put in everyday to take care of us and give us the best education and support that they need. Maybe that is just my school, but I know that when I leave in 2 years, I am going to miss some of those teachers more than I do some of the students. Although too be fair a lot of the students are bloody annoying lol

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So if you are a teacher, or even my teacher! I just want you to know that we are so greatful for what you do. I know as first years we don’t fully understand what you do for us, but when we get older and get to know you more, we appreciate what you do for us everyday and how you make us feel so comforted and included. So keep doing what you are doing. And if you are a student, just know that, although my years have been different, GCSE years are life changing so try to enjoy them despite the stress. The teachers genuinely do care and you will most likely remember them for the rest of your life. Take each day at a time and just enjoy it. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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The School Newspaper (The Biggest Joke)

I don’t know if the american’s are taking over our school or what, but they decided to do a wee school newspaper. I thought that sounded cool and I was interested in reading it, but on the front cover, there were a few things that got me thinking ya know. Just a few points I would have changed completely, just to bring the truth back you know. But yeah, lets get started,

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At the bottom of the cover it said ‘we wanted to give the pupils an outlet to express their opinions, interests and passions’. I just wanted to ask, who put the gun to that writers head because that was a pile of shit. Also don’t worry, we haven’t been fully converted to the american ways so I was talking about a metaphorical gun. Just so you guys know. Anyways, lets get back on track. From my many years of experience, school really has done fuck all for our interests and passions, and don’t even get me started on our opinions. You should see their bloody face whenever we give our opinion on something. It is literally a scene from a horror movie. Even in English class whenever your analysis is basically 100% made up and what you think it is, there is still a right and a wrong answer. They could literally write a movie about how someone gave a separate opinion in English and then the teacher killed them with her stare. They seem so offended, but like you don’t even know what the fucking answer is because they teach you fuck all. That isn’t even a joke. My English teachers literally always say “this has to be pupil lead, ok. I can’t teach you this, you need to do it yourself”… Why the fuck are you here then? Seriously? Because for the past 30 minutes I have been travelling into the darkest areas of my brain, just to figure out why the fuck they put a “and” in the middle of the sentence. The amount of shit I come up with really is worrying, but they expect us to know everything about the text, despite the fact we don’t give a fuck. And that is the truth. My teacher was literally like “why does the host sing” and we were like, I don’t know, and she was like “well obviously because he was part of a choir in the 1960’s. That is so obvious guys, because it says in the book ‘hello’. You really need to try guys”. I don’t even know what to say anymore because shit is flying everywhere, but there is not a fuck in sight. Do the teachers actually believe what is coming out of their mouth or is it a universal joke, because if it is, it isn’t funny anymore. Why can’t I enjoy a book of a movie without having to think of the word placement!

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The title of the school newspaper is also called “the student voice” but like we aren’t even talking about our opinions really and it is only a one off thing. They really said, “smile for the camera” and then throw us back in the bin afterwards. Like I 100% know that at the next open morning they will have a fucking field day talking about how they really wanted to hear our opinions and that they are such an accepting school, and all the parents are going to die for it. Then there is just us at the back, not taking any of the crap they are saying. It kinda makes me laugh though because we literally have no voice in anything. Yes they are good at asking us, but it goes in one ear and out the other and you can tell on their face that they don’t give a crap what you have to say. You could be crying like “school is so stressful and I feel like it needs to be more organised with homework and tests and over all support with mental health” and they will give you the creepy smile and say “ok. Who is next?” as though we are a fucking McDonalds drive through.

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I do have to admit though, my school (which shall not be named~Voldemort :0) is quite good to us. Most of the teachers are nice, once you get past 3rd year of course, and it isn’t too bad in terms of school life. It isn’t perfect but it is the systems fault and they don’t have a lot of control over that part. They are fairly inclusive I have to admit and I am glad to go there… Why the fuck did this just turn into an ad for my school. Watch me read this on opening day lol. But yeah anyways, I just thought the newspaper was a bit of a massive lie which is a tad bit funny. I think if I were to write something in the newspaper I would write about something like “what do you do when you run out of fucks to give” or “how to dodge the bullshit”. Those sound like self-help books that I wanna read to be honest lol, but I don’t think my school would allow the inappropriate language. So sorry about that loves. They literally die over 2 earrings or if you have one strand of dyed hair, so maybe my taste in content is a tad too much for them at the moment.

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Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this content because I feel this was quite the relatable one. Wish me luck also because I have my Chemistry and Spanish test today and I am supposed to be studying that right now, but if you read yesterdays post, you will know that I am right on schedule. Believe it or not, this blog is my way of trying to escape school so maybe I can make money from this instead, but we will have to see. It is fun anyways, so if I end up at a 9-5 office job I can just do this on the computer instead of actual work. Please like, comment and subscribe if you like this content and I will see you tomorrow with even more. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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The Maybe Story

Today I wanted to share a story with you guys that I heard a while back. It is a random story but yet it has a big meaning behind it. So grab a cuppa tea and enjoy.

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There was this old Chinese farmer who spent all of his days working on his crops, until one day his horse ran away. When the word got around, his neighbors would come over saying “that is so bad”, “that is so unlucky” and “we are so sorry”. And he would look at them, shrug and then say “maybe”. A few days later, he woke up to see his horse had come back and had brought more wild horses with it. Again, the neighbors found out and came running over to his farm shouting “this is so great”, “how lucky” and “you must be so happy”. And again, the farmer shrugged and said “maybe”. The next day, his son was riding one of the horses around the field, when it started leaping up and threw his son, breaking his leg. Just like clockwork, the neighbors came with sorry faces crying “this is awful”, “how unlucky” and “you must be sad”. Once again, he shrugged and said “maybe”. The next day the soldiers came around to each and every house, taking ever able young man to fight in the war. When they got to the farm, they took one look at the son and thought “he has a broken leg. He will be no good for us” and they drove off. Now all the neighbors came over. They were talking about how their sons were taken away and were rambling on about how lucky and happy he must be.

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You see, that whole time, his neighbors thought he was absolutely crazy because no matter what happened to him, he always reacted with “maybe”. He never assumed anything of a situation. And all the time, things changed, something bad came from the good, but something good happened from the bad. So instead of overthinking the negatives, and crying over everything, he saw it as fate, as though it needed to happen. Why I think this story is so great is because it shows that we can’t look at every situation in black and white. Every situation isn’t just good or bad. But if we do look at it in this way, life is going to get really tough because we don’t realise that things happen for a reason, and that maybe something like breaking your leg, will make such a difference on your future. So instead of feeling sorry for yourself, be like the farmer. We have no clue what is to come next or what it will do to our future, so we need to fix how we view situations. You could focus on the negatives, or you could look for the positives. Just don’ believe that your life sucks, because something great is just around the corner and we gotta wait for it. I believe everything happens for a reason, and if you are going through really tough shit right now, something great will come from it. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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What Do Our Dreams Say About Us?

If you thought this was gonna be some informational shit then you are gonna be disappointed, because I am just as confused as you. Literally I wake up and the first thing I say is “what the fuck”. That could be for 2 reasons, one being the dream and the other being the fact my body had the audacity to live another day. But today we are talking about reason one. And then I always hear people saying that our dreams say things about us and here I am searching up “what does a dream about a dinosaur flying in mars with King Kong say about me?”. Please tell me I am not the only one because I never really have normal dreams. I also find that if I do have normal dreams, they are really boring ones. Like one of them could be me doing an exam but then the invigilators are elves or something.

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I also wanted to ask, am I the only person who has never lucid dreamed before because my friends are all talking about how they were like aware they were dreaming and then went on to do so many things, but I must be dumb as fuck because no matter how weird the situation is, I just vibe and it doesn’t click with me until later on when I am like “elves aren’t even real”. I don’ know, am I just weird. I would be scared though if I lucid dreamed because can’t things go wrong like they try to kill you or something. That sounds like such a joke but I swear I heard that before. I would also be so fucking boring. I could be talking to a unicorn or something and then be like “wait this is a dream!” and then it would just be me and him looking at each other doing that awkward smile and looking around really awkwardly and then I would just go for a walk or something. It would be embarrassing though if you were like OMG I am gonna try and fly, and then all you do is jump and you can’t get anywhere, then it is just you and the unicorn staring at each other like what the fuck now. Not me literally getting embarrassed by something that hasn’t even happened and it would have been in my dream anyways. Why am I talking about this, this is completely off topic, anyways, let’s get into it.

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How is it that our brains are like “i am depressed” and then it is like, if I make the dream about a lion walking in space, that will surely let them know they need help. The fuck? I be needing a bloody English teacher to analyse each atom of my dream just to know what it’s about. How can that literally link up. And then there are dreams that I get that are so complex and so weird that I actually have no fucking clue where to start. Like the other day I had one about me in school doing a project and then somehow I got into a huge shouting argument with my ex and I was left in tears. Then I was packing up and I was the only one there and when I walked outside I had actually been in my house so now I was in my street walking down the road like I was the main character in a breakup movie. Then my teacher came driving down signing some type of song and these guys from my class where knocking on people’s doors and just talking to random people and then out of one door, the same teacher that had been singing just shouted “RIOT” for no reason and I woke up. I also think that in this dream, or it was another one, I don’t remember, there was this whole scandal where the teacher was like “if you pass the test I will tell you who I kissed” and then it turned out she had kissed her fucking cousin or something. That was really weird to be honest and if you are some sort of dream person, am I completely messed up? Because that would explain a lot actually.

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Dreams are weird though, aren’t they. Our brain just makes up images based off our thoughts and emotions we may not even realise. And they are smart as fuck. Our brain can remember every single person we lay eyes on even if it was for a split second. Like where does that energy go when I need to revise because right now I don’t give a fuck what that old man looked like! I need to learn fucking Pythagoras theorem. But I guess that is useless as well lol. Although, our brain also can’t remember the dream we just had a split second ago. I could wake up like “this is was the best dream, everyone needs to hear it” but then it is just gone. My whole memory of it just literally scuttles away and I am like what the actual fuck. Why does it do that? Are we just no meant to remember? What sci-fi, government, alien type shit is this because I really wanted to remember it. Another thing that confuses me is when people say that “you always dream, unless you are dead”. But I swear there are nights I didn’t dream. Did I die? Was that fact fake? Did I just forget it? I need answers people! I also need to know why we dream. Why is that just a normal function that happens because soon enough I am just gonna start believing the movie “inside out” soon. How are we able to project images in our head and be present during them despite the fact we are asleep, and then there are times that we sleep walk and sleep talk. I have actually sleep-talked a lot and I recorded it a few times. It is safe to say I did not release any secrets. Well unless “wellgosjflasnlgnllkjlj” means something to you.

Anyways, I think I will leave it here for today because I am not up for an existential crisis today. Maybe later though. I also wanted to say that I am probably going to start a podcast soon for this blog because I generally don’t know how to word things in a way that makes sense on the computer. Basically it will be me reading these posts but adding in extra topics that jump into my head. I will try to keep them shorter but I usually do ramble on about the weirdest things, so look out for that I guess. Anyways, if you are excited for that, make sure you leave a like, comment and follow so that you know when I upload my first one. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself.


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The Most Embarrassing Moment In Human History

I have made a few story times in my blog. Many of which are so bad I will probably never show my face to you guys, ever. But, as I am never going to show my face, I may as well tell you some other times that I want erased from my mind and everyone elses.

School Hallway

This one has literally been burned into my mind and everyone reminds me of it at random moment, just as I forget about it. So it was in first year. I was waiting outside of Latin (I know it sounds so fancy but it was crap) and it was a really busy corridor. And for some reason I was leaning against the wall with my legs out a bit and then I ducking slipped. As is that wasn’t bad enough, it was in front of a bloody teaser and they just looked at me with disgust and was like “get up of the floor”. So as if it wasn’t embarrassing enough being a first year, I had to slip in front of everyone smh

Little Fight

Right, so when I was younger, maybe p7 or something, I did karate. I was a proper pro so I went to competitions and at one point you had to fight someone, with gloves obviously, but that’s besides the point. So my coach was like, can you fill in for someone in their fight, and I was like of course because 1, he could literally beat me up and 2, it was fun. So here I was walking to the fight and I was like where is everyone? I look down and there they were. Literal foetuses. I looked at my mum like “is this even fucking legal” and it was so bad. I could have inialated them, but I had no clue what to do and it was so crap. I quit not long after that lol

The Tea Was Too Hot

This moment was literally so painful. So my mum made us go and meet her cousin when I was like 12 or something. I was so awkward as a kid but when she asked me about my teachers I was now a literal extrovert because there was finally something I could say about. There was this teacher that was really strict and that people were scared of, it was a Latin teacher actually, and I was telling her about the teacher. She looks at my mum and goes “ THE *teachers name*” and my heart dropped. Tell me why, out of the billions of people on this earth, this bitch had to be the teachers stepdaughter. So I just told her that everyone was scared of her mum. I can never forget this.

Zoom Call Disaster

Here I was, another day on online school. It was the last lesson before we got of for 1 week. So k was excited and exhausted you know. And by this point I was sick of the awkward silence whenever she asked something so I was like, I’m just gonna get this I over with. So I waited for someone else to go first and then I eventually spoke. No joke, someone else spoke at the exact same time as me, so it was just a second of us speaking over each other and I died inside. And I never spoke on zoom again.

Goodbyes Are Always Difficult

I think this was like 5 years ago, but I had been part of a club called ‘Guides’ with my friends. For Americans, it is basically girl scouts but sexist. They taught us to like clean and cook you know. But yeah, we wanted to quite, so at the end of our last guides holiday, they were asking us what we wanted to do in guides next year and we were like, we are kinda going to quit. Let’s just say our timing was not good because they talked to us for ages and we had to spend the rest of that day, and the hour car ride home, listening to their passive aggressive comments. What made it more embarrassing was that when they were asking us if we were leaving, I was like “well we are thinking about it but probably we might 100% be leaving”. Why am I such an awkward bitch?

Anyways, that was embarrassing so please feel free to comment if something similar has happened to you or whether you have other embarrassing stories. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


Things my teachers have said that make me want to punch a wall

All of the things I am about to mention are 100% true. Every. Single. One. So buckle your seat belts because this is one hell of a fucking ride.

English

So, it’s the first day back at school. We have English 4th period and we are getting ready for the inevitable “motivational speech”. And, like clock work, she came in and started the speech. Blah blah corona blah blah tests blah blah you aren’t even going through that much blah… Wait a damn minute! Did she really just end the talk telling us that the things we are going through aren’t even that bad? Yep, she did. To widen your view of the situation, she basically said that, although what we are going through is different, it is basically what we would have been doing anyways, but this time we are allowed more information on what is on the exams and they are more spread out. So pretty much, we got it lucky 😮 When I tell you my stress skyrocketed, I mean it got to fucking Mars before that bloody rover did. So make it make sense? You say that our situation is different. Yes, that is at least something you got right. There hasn’t been a global pandemic since, hmm, 100 years ago? You also mentioned that we would have been going through the exams and stress. Yes, exactly. But due to our “different situation”, there is an added stress there, not including the other mental health problems that came with it. And to mention the point about the fact we are getting more information on what is on the exams and that they are spread out more, I have a few things to add to that. Lets, re-write this sentence a bit, but, add the truth to it, ok? We are getting more information on what is on the exam because the things we have been told have been thrown around like a basket ball and, unlike other years, we literally have no fucking clue what the hell we are even learning. And they are spread out more because, well, they have been brought forward a few months, with little warning, little help, little to no motivation, and little understanding of the actual information because what is the point of knowing the topics that will be on the test when we don’t know the actual information in them. I definitely think that is a better way to word it. So never say that what we are going through this year is any less than the shit show it is, because you really have no fucking clue.

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Primary School Teacher

This is from ages ago and I don’t really remember what teacher said it but it is literally hilarious. I just backs up my point that some teachers just really aren’t meant to work with kids. This bitch said “the only reason I chose to be a teacher was to shout at kids”. Now, I don’t know if she said that ironically because we were misbehaving, but my class wasn’t even that disruptive. Looking back at it now, it is so funny, but at the time I know that I was so shook. The thing is, if she said that as the truth, then what the actual fuck because you definitely need a different job where the mental health of children aren’t in harms way.

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Chemistry

So, I don’t know what it is, but pretty much every school has this same problem. The one where the teachers literally worship the loud boys in the class and literally despise everyone else. So let me tell you one time this happened to me, a girl. I was at the front of the class with my friend, so you already know it was gonna be a good time. The whole class was chatting, all waiting for the teacher to start and when she did the class settled down and I think I laughed for only 1 second after everyone was quite, but obviously that was not acceptable. So we were told off once. Later on I was confused and asked my friend what page we were on. She answered, obviously, but again we “broke the law” and we were told off a second time. So we stayed quiet for a while and later on when she left the room for a bit we all started talking and she came back, but basically everyone was still talking. Well, all the loud ones. And it was basically all just a whisper and I must have laughed one decibel louder than everyone else because she was not happy. That came the third time we were told off and she made us move seats. I think that for every time we were told off, an average of 7 boys were talking at the same time. But where they told to be quiet once? Nope. So I don’t know if she has a grudge against me or what, but all I know now is that I have once against her.

LOL, so these are all the ones I can remember at the moment. I know that these are only 3 but like I honestly could not care less. Maybe I will say more later on. But that first one, am I right?! I mean what utter bullshit. I really hope these people won’t read this but even if they do, maybe they will learn a less. Comment down below any time a teacher said or did something that made your blood boil, I love to hear more stories like this. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.


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Time To Expose The Train Industry

Right so this isn’t for all places of course, “not all trains”, but for my experiences, everything I say here is the truth.

First of all, lets just mention how fucking stressful trains are. I mean I have to rehearse my order before I bloody order it and I still mess it up. They just look at you behind the desk as though you turned there day into shit and I just be like lol sorry. But here is the thing. Today I was on the train and I had bought my ticket at the train station and I had it in my phone case because it was clear. Then the wee train conductor was like can I see your ticket and I showed him my phone case. He had the AUDACITY to say “that isn’t a ticket” and with proper attitude but I just looked at him like bitch you better shut the fuck up. I had to take it outta my phone and show it as though it was a hidden artifact. I mean he was such a passive aggressive child and I was like would I really be someone to make a fake phone case. I mean he thought he was such a detective.

And I don’t know if they all bloody hate their jobs or what because they give you such a dirty look when you get money out of your wallet and they just sigh and act as though their life depends on the next few seconds. But then sometimes they just have mood swings and the next they are getting money out of their wee bag and making it a field trip because they be looking in their for ages and come out with like 50 p. They be making awful jokes and think they are the bees knees. I have to say that at some points you can get a nice one but they won’t take your bullshit. They won’t take the bullshit that isn’t even there and you are just over thinking your life. They don’t help with anxiety that is to be sure and you have no clue what to say because the utter crap that comes out of their mouth is something else.

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Then when I got out of the train to go home, the doors closed a split second before a boy got to them and the train conductor was right at the door. The boy was literally like can you open this because he was a millisecond late and the man was right there and the guy was like no we can’t even do that and was basically laughing in his face. Then the train drove off with plenty of time for that kid to get in. I mean they really aren’t people persons and I don’t know why they took the job. I also remember that one time I got a return ticket and on my return I actually ended up just going to one station after what I supposed to take and then the worker came up as the train stopped at the station I was getting off. I showed the ticket and I was like I need to get off now though. Tell me why this guy literally went off the train for our tickets and waited for like 5 mins to make us pay for it and then he bloody overcharged us and I am like, is there absolutely no human decency. And now, I know that there are nice train men because I have got a few nice ones, but there are a majority of them that are so scary and really just make my blood boil, and this is from a non-Karen. I am not complaining to the manager but these are just some of the stories that have just annoyed me to be honest. I don’t know if it is because we are teenagers or if they all just happen to have a bad day but I get scared on them and I never seem to get it right. They be like our mums when they check if your room is clean and they literally check for every spec of dust.

But yeah, they are just a few of my stories from the train. Well, just today’s stories actually but yeah. Hope you enjoyed this and feel free to comment below any train stories you guys have had. Maybe it is just NI but I don’t know. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.


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Weird Things I Did As A Kid That Make Me Cringe

The point of this blog is to make people not feel so alone in this world and I really didn’t know if I wanted to share some of these stories because I feel embarrassed but I need to do it I think. I need to fulfill the aim of the blog so here it goes

Halloween

When I was younger I was obviously a tomboy. And during Halloween I was like I don’t want no cat costume, I’m gonna go out. It was my friends birthday around this time as well so I was excited for her party. I got this costume and I was like damn I am so cool. When I turned up to her house there were other people there literally just in normal costumes and here I was dressed like this

This isn’t even a joke bitch. I really thought I was doing something and in reality I just looked like a literal freak. So yeah that was something. I am forever scared and embarrassed but yeah I mean I- I don’t know what to say.

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IT’S NOT A PHASE MUM

Yeah, so I am not gonna show you guys a picture of this because I have tried to burn all of this period out of my brain, although I do have one memory saved because it was a part of identity ya know. This was like 4 or 5 years back when I was still pretty much a tomboy. Everywhere I went, I saw famous people, like Jade from little mix, wearing flat caps. And I was like ‘that is THE coolest person ever, I can defo pull that off’. No. NOOOOO I could not pull that off. But for so long I was like YES I am an ICON. I am not saying that flat caps aren’t nice, I am just saying that I do not suit hats at all lol. And it is so funny because I had a really old one that was from like ‘no fear’ or whatever that brand was called. And I remember I was like ‘this hat is life changing’. I mean I wasn’t wrong but it changed it for the worst. When I wore it I thought I was so grown and I was like this hat really means I have no fear and I thought I was so cool now because I had ‘no fear’. My parents were probably like, this bitch really thinks shes so cool now. I did… unfortunately

Where the hell is my family

I am pretty sure I said about my family loosing me before but this is a whole other time, you would start to think they are doing it on purpose *laughs awkwardly* 😐 Anyways. I strangely remember this as though it was yesterday. I was waiting in line at Disney Land in France and we were going to go on the tea cups. I must have zoned out for a while but I swear I looked away from my parents for a second and the next they were just gone and here I was, a literal FOETUS, and I was just staring up at these 2 absolute strangers. I started panicking and my mum had said if I ever got lost, all I had to do is stay where I was and they would come get me. But then I saw them literally 50 people ahead of me and I was like thank fuck. So anyways, I just walked past all these people so awkwardly because I was quite socially awkward among new people, and i finally got to them. Then my parents had the AUDACITY to be like “what’s wrong”. They didn’t know I was gone! Tee hee. But then they continued to tell me I should have stayed were I was and I was like “maybe you should keep track of your bloody children woman!”, in my head obviously. The thing that makes me laugh though is the fact that all those adults just walked past as if I wasn’t a literal five year old with no parents, staring into the obis. Love to see I am seen.

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I’ve McFallen

This happened when I was like 9 or 10 maybe, I don’t know. But here I was just cycling around the street by myself for some bloody reason and then I fucking fell off it in front of one of my neighbors house. I had like 0.1 muscles at the time and somehow the bike ended on top of my legs or something and being the dramatic bitch I was I was like crying because I hurt my knee and I couldn’t get up. The neighbor ends up going out to help me and I was terrified, one, because it was embarrassing, and two, this guy was kind of creepy but yeah he had to get the bike off me and bring me home. That was scundering and I hate myself for it.

Never Again

This wasn’t that long ago actually. I actually want to curl up in a ball when I think of this but I really hope that somebody has done the same. So I was in a running club, the worst year of my fucking life, and that is saying something. But this was one of the first time I had gone without my mum and everyone else there was an adult so I didn’t really talk to them which was fine but I didn’t want them to think I was a literal freak. Then, after the run, they found a lost jacket and they were like does anybody own this jacket, and nobody answered. Then they were like ‘does somebody just wanna have it’ as a joke, not expecting a response. I thought this was the perfect time to make a joke or something and I knew that that was the type of thing my mum would make a joke about or something because it was a crap joke but she knew everyone there. So there I was and I shouted out ‘I will’. Thinking someone would laugh. Absolute silence. Not a peep. A few people just looked back at me and I was like why the fuck did I just say that out loud. My heart literally dropped and I just wanted to sprint outta there. I don’t think I can ever recover from that to be honest.

Well, that is enough torture for today I think. That was so utterly painful to type but I hope that somebody else relates to any of these. If you do please comment below because I feel like such a freak right now to be honest. The thing is, this isn’t even the worst of them. I will save that for some other day after I recover. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.


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What Makes A Job Important?

When we grow up, we are told that doctors, teachers, lawyers and politicians are important. That, if we want to get an impactful job, these are the ones to go for. But I have been thinking lately, because a couple of years back I had been talking to someone working in my house and something clicked with me.

So, a cheeky wee story time guys. We had a man over who was covering up a huge hole in our wall and doing the plastering and stuff, whatever you call it. My mum made him a cuppa tea and told me to bring it up to him and, being the EXTREMELY extroverted character I was happy to help :/ but no, he was actually nice LOL. Anyways, so here I was, going up the stairs and I was like “tea question mark”:o and he was like “yup” :/. But then as I was going down the stairs we were just having a wee chit chat and he was like “what age are you?” so I slapped him on the face and ran away because stranger danger. No, sorry I will stop with the jokes. But I was like “15” and he was like “do you know what you want to do when you grow up” and I was like “have a life”. Ok sorry that was my last one I swear. I said a police woman maybe and he was like “that’s good. Just stay in school so you don’t end up doing plastering like me”. And that is when it clicked in my head. I wish I had said this to him but then again I was like 30 years younger and half his height so I didn’t want to look stuck up giving a pep talk to an adult. But what I realised is that he thinks his job is unimportant and that it should be avoided, but the thing is, if there were no plasterers, then everybody’s house would go to utter shit. If we didn’t have him to help us, my dad would have ended up doing a crap job at it and our house would be ugly as fuck (sorry dad). So who’s to say his job isn’t important but I know that I am greatful for his work because now our house looks nice again. Yes, maybe the whole world can’t tell that but sometimes helping one person can make a big difference in their life.

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And another thing similar to this is like when someone has to work at McDonalds or a store for the rest of their lives. Yes, maybe they may not have wanted to this, but we can’t judge them for it because they make that business work. We couldn’t have a shop without a cashier or someone to restock the shelves because nothing would go the way it is supposed to. They may not seem like glamorous jobs but they are so important. We kind of just gotta look at the big picture of things because a lot of times people don’t realise how much someone means to them until they are gone. So if all the Tesco’s workers disappeared, we would be freaking out because now we don’t know where things are. We can’t return anything, all the shelves are empty, people are stealing things, causing fights, there are messes everywhere. So whether you are a worker out there who feels like there job doesn’t make an impact, just think of what would happen if you all disappeared. Let’s even say you cut the grass for a living. If all of you disappeared, there would be gardens that would grow so disgustingly long that the street isn’t pretty anymore. So many things are growing and crawling in there and they feel disappointed in their garden. But the fact that you guys are here means that people can look outside and feel proud of the place they live in. People driving by will see the street and think, damn, that is beautiful, right? And to those who judge people who don’t have a typical ‘important’ job, just know that the job they do is obviously important and if we didn’t have them we would really struggle, so have some compassion and thank them for their work because they are so important for how the community functions.

So I hope that meant something to someone. It really is true. Every job has importance and although it may be not be obvious at first thought, just think what would happen if your job didn’t exist. What would happen? What would that change for people? How would the world look? No matter the job, people will appreciate you. I mean I still appreciate the plasterer even after a couple of years because no my house, my home, is comfortable and complete. Keep your heads up and don’t let anyone put you done. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.


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‘What The Fuck’ Moments I’ve Had

In my 15 years of life, I have surprisingly a lot of good stories. I can look back at them now and think why the fuck did I not body slam that person? So yeah are a few of these moments, enjoy lol

The Day I Was Born

So I was born and the first thing I thought was, “the AUDACITY of this bitch to birth me”. I think if I were to go through this again I would definitely decide not to become an embryo

Concert

So this was a few years back. And before you think I am such an outgoing person, this was with my dad, sister and her friend so I’m not that popular. Anyways, so I was just vibing, as you do, and then this old man was proper hammered and he was going around literally jumping on people as though they were his best mates. As a teen girl I was already a tad bit skeptical so I tried not to give him any attention. Then he came up literally dancing away and then he stopped, leaned back, put his glasses down a wee bit and then bloody LOOKED ME UP AND DOWN and here was me literally terrified and I was like what the fuck do I do. But then finally he left and I was like, I defo should’ve absolutely slammed his face. But yeah lol, getting hit on my an ancient old man really is not the thing I was wanting.

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Lady Like

This story actually happened in school a couple years ago. Me and my friend went throw this annoying phase where we kept trying to trip each other up and then I went to trip her up in the line to get to class and then one of the ICT teachers walked by me and was like ‘that’s not very lady like’. I looked back at him like, I would beat you up if you weren’t an adult or my teacher. Not lady like bitch I wasn’t trying to. The audacity of men scares me

Making My Way Down Town

Lol this was actually last year (why do I keep saying when everything happened as if you give a fuck) and it was a really warm day for once so ya know, me and my friends were having the summer vibes. They were having a hot girl summer, but not me LOL anyways, so yeah, we were like, lets go be basic white girls and get ourselves some iced coffee. While we were walking down IN BROAD DAYLIGHT ON A BUSY STREET, this man walks up beside us and starts talking to us about ‘where you going’, ‘I really like this place’. Bare in mind he was like late 40’s and we are like 15-16 so we were a bit sketched out as you would be. So we kind of stopped for a second to see if he would leave, he didn’t so we were like ‘fuck it’ and we just went to get coffee. This man FOLLOWS us in and just waits at the front door as we order. Then we sit down with our drinks and starts talking to us. We kinda scared but don’t wanna show it obviously, and finally he walks out again. That man didn’t even buy a drink so I don’t know what the fuck he thought he was gonna do. So yeah, that happened.

We Care, Buuuuuuttt…

Ok, this was 2 days ago literally. This had me literally crying in class. That’s not a joke, I just had tears. Here I was in English class, that says enough already, and she had another bloody talk about how we are going through so much. Wait, the first thing is that she literally goes on about the fact that we don’t even have it bad. Bitch! Why? You know that isn’t true right? Anyways, then that bitch went on to say, ‘you know that book you haven’t looked at in like a year and you have already done a bunch of tests on? Well we just randomly decided that you need to write an essay on it because you don’t give a flying fuck about you guys.’ So yeah, I cried and now and fully want to jump out the window 🙂

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These Boys Ain’t Shit

So my first relationship was kind of… how will I put it? Utter shit, yes that’s what I was looking for. When I tell you I could write a book on this man, I mean it. But I am gonna name 2 things. So, I planned for us to go out to a movie with him after weeks of trying to get him to find time for me and then the day before this man texts me saying he can’t make it and I was like ‘why’ and he was like BECAUSE I NEED TO WATCH STAR WARS WITH MY DAD. This is no joke, he said that. He dad wasn’t sick or anything, they had all watched star wars already so there was absolutely no reason to watch it. I said ok because I thought that is what I deserved in the relationship LOL. And the second one. We were in a relationship for 2 years +. I hated it at that point because I thought I was such a bad person and that’s why he never messaged me. Tell me why the literal first time he texted me first was to break up with me. Yup, he broke up over text. The only thing I regret is not being the one to dump him

Fire At Grannies House

Ha! So when I was a literal foetus, it was Christmas and I had my cousins round and we were all at my grannies. Just for context, these were the cousins on my mum’s side so you know it was a good time. We made a fort, we played mums and dads, all that jazz. Then we went to play with legos, as you should. Then my dad is just outside the door like ‘hmm, I smell fire’:o Tell me why there is a fucking fire ball in the living room! I’ll tell you why. We left a pillow on top of one of the lamps and that bitch was blazing. The thing is, it was right next to the curtains so my granny’s house was close to being on fire but luckily it didn’t. And then it was just me and my cousins watching our uncles carry out this crisp pillow and lamp. Ah memories

Anyways, they are just a few of the stories I have. I hope you enjoyed them because some are quite funny, other’s are just a bit concerning to be honest. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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Little Things That Annoy Me On Online School For No Reason (Have You Noticed Them?)

There are a lot of common things people get annoyed at, whether that is just having to sit around all day or the WiFi not working, just stuff like that. I am not talking about these things today, I am talking about the little tiny things that others may not notice, just like one of those tiny flies that fly around your face while you are talking and you just can’t stop getting distracted by it.

Silent But Deadly

I know what this title makes you think of, but that isn’t it. What I mean by it is that I hate it when there are certain teachers who ask a question and go quiet for way too long. Nobody is answering and nobody know who is about to start talking first. Maybe nobody will, but that is even worse. There are three ways this can end. 1, you speak first. Nobody else talks and you get it right. Well done you, you stopped the bomb. 2, you start to talk, but so does somebody else. You both stop starting and stopping to talk at the same time, just that little sidestep you do when trying to get past someone. You never speak on zoom again in fear of this happening. 3, nobody talks, the teacher waits longer, still nobody talks. Suddenly, you find yourself in deep shit. The teacher is shouting, complaining about everything going on in their life. Their marriage, quarantine, drinking problem. They stop. Everyone leaves. So yeah, a majority of the time, it is not ideal. I hate the silence with a passion.

Sweet Or Sour

Right, this is literally the most annoying ever. This is when the teacher’s are trying to act nice but everyone can tell they couldn’t give a shit. To be fair I don’t blame them, but passive aggressiveness annoys me in general. Like they just be staring at the camera and you can see it in their eyes that they are ready to slap us all, but they have ask a question like ‘hope you guys are all ok’. Oh my god, or they like ‘just text if you want me to help you with anything’ but you can tell they will give you fuck all if you ask them. The last example of this is also when we have had quite a quiet class, so everyone is a bit on edge, and then at the end of the class they say ‘has anyone got anything to ask’ and then time just stops. We all have our mouse on the end call button, even the teacher, but she just stares as if we have literally failed her as a class. She is as close to giving up as she is to the camera. Just their face staring. It do be giving me nightmares. Yeah, that kind of passive aggressiveness just gets to me :O

*crickets* THANK YOUUUUUU

Ok, so I guess this is nice for the teachers, but this is when the class is so quiet the whole time and then the teachers say ‘bye’ and then there is a long silence when everyone stays on the call waiting for one person to say ‘thank you’. Then everyone erupts and says THANK YOU at the exact same time. I do feel kind of bad if we don’t do that I guess, but the thing is, nobody wants to be the first person so you are just waiting there awkwardly and then all of a sudden your ears are blown off. I just can’t deal.

The most important thing is _/\/\/\_ is that all OK guys?

Just ignore my attempt of trying to portray a glitch through a keyboard. And to be fair, this kind of a big thing that happens to probably everyone, but… get over it, this is my blog. LOL anyways. You could have been sitting through a whole bloody lesson just for this one piece of info that you need and then that is the moment that they glitch. You just waiting for it and all of a sudden, BOOM, WiFi is non-existent. Yes, I probably could just ask for her to repeat that. Will I know? No. Why? Because then the exact same thing I explained in the first example will happen, and I am still recovering from last time. I mean maybe the thing she said wasn’t that important, right?

Time is Ticking Bitches

In our school, our classes are only supposed to be 45 minutes each to give us time for any technical difficulties and stuff like that. Now lets play a bit of ‘never have I ever’. Never have I ever finished class in 45 minutes. Never have I ever not been rushing to go onto my next class. Never have I ever had my class run into break and lunch time. Oh wait! I have actually. The only thing getting them away from it is the fact they are my favourite teacher. And every single time they keep saying ‘I am conscious of the time guys, don’t worry’. Umm, I don’t think you fucking are because the time is ticking. And then they keep going on with other questions and it is so dragged out because nobody answers and then they do a massive conclusion and then there is the whole bloody awkward THANK YOU thing at the end even though we have nothing to be thankful for!!!!

What Is Time Anyways

On the topic of time, I don’t think that the teachers really realise that the timetable is still a thing. They be starting and finishing these lessons as though they themselves are literally time. They also forget that, just because we at home, doesn’t mean we have more time for work. They be like ‘here is a big pile of homework’, we all panic but she says ‘don’t worry, I know it is a lot’, relaxing, then ‘I am setting it for tomorrow instead of the end of the day’, PANIC. They really woke up and chose evil.

Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed and this actually makes sense for some. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


What Are Teen’s Greatest Fears?

Did you know that we are all born with only 2 fears? The fear of falling, and the fear of loud noises. So what does that mean? It means that the fears we have now were learned. And when you think of your fears you actually begin to realise that it actually makes sense. I remember that one time I went on a picnic with my granny and my younger cousins. Of course, there just had to be bees and I am not one of those ones who stick around, and I am not ashamed to say it. So here me and my sisters were, literally getting attacked my Barry B Benson and his mates. Obviously, we were swatting them away and freaking out just a little bit. Ok, maybe more than a bit. FINE, we were panicking a lot. But then my granny was like ‘literally stop being a bitch’, ok, maybe that wasn’t her exact words, but then she was like ‘you are gonna make them think bees are scary’. I am happy to say they now have a healthy dose of fear. They don’t just sit and do nothing although they aren’t as scared as I am. I think that I am the one who has stopped them from being stung soooooo. But yeah, let’s get into the fears that I think most teens have, that society has given us.

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F Is For Failing Your Family

Lol, so maybe that title was a bit over the top but I mean it kind of is true. We are taught that failing is bad. I know for me, no matter how easy a test is, I will be shaking when I get the results back. The thing is it happens for the most ridiculous. I was probably in primary school freaking out about what I got on my colouring page. I mean it ain’t that serious. But we have been taught from literally day 1 to not fail or we will literally fail in life. I hate that fact because no test on osmosis or poetry will ever prepare me for life. Like in school if someone is like ‘this is really hard’, the teacher will be like ‘welcome to the real world’… bitch where? I can’t see any real-world here. It is ridiculous I have to admit.

Disappointing Others

I don’t really mean disappointing strangers, but like disappointing the people you care about. This may not be true for everyone but I literally have nightmares of doing anything to disappoint anyone. I am pretty sure I had a nightmare one time that I didn’t cook the carrots right or something. I mean my dad isn’t bloody Gordon Ramsey. They aren’t even mean to me. I have no clue why I had a nightmare about that. But yeah I would say that a majority of the time, I only do things so I don’t disappoint anyone

Being Lonely

Ok, so I do realise that these are getting sad very quickly but it is true. It doesn’t mean we are always trying to find ‘the one’, but what I mean by that is that we are scared of not making friends, or losing friends and family. We aren’t all selfish people and a lot of the time people can seem really mean and selfish just so they can stay friends with the people in their group and they are just really scared to be left out. I suppose the FOMO also falls into this category, although I do know that not everyone really has this fear. I do though. Literally, whenever I see anyone having the tiniest bit of fun I am like ‘why am I not having fun’ and I feel so left out. Is that just me?

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Parents Searching Our Room Or Our Phone

I have no bloody clue why I get so scared when my mum comes into my room for a second or if I want to show her a pic and she takes my phone to look. There is literally nothing I have to hide yet I am like “what if she looks back to my text from last year on Instagram when I had an argument with a complete stranger”, or “what if she comes into my room and finds a bag of drugs even though I have never done drugs in my life. I could imagine that is what it feels like when a police car is behind you or when you are going through the metal detector at the airport.

Appointments

I should have left a TW sign for that title because this is the biggest one left. Nothing in this world compares to doctor appointments, dentist appointments, optician appointments, or anything else within that region. I swear to god I have no clue what the hell I will do when I grow up. My mum is coming with me no matter what. I swear to god though, my kids better not be wanting me to talk because I ain’t speaking. It’s gonna be a family trip by that point because I am going to have to bring my mum to my child’s appointments. No matter if I literally have my legging falling off, if they ask me what is wrong or what happened, I will not be answering that. But seriously though why is it so hard. They ask me my name, I panic and think “what if my mum lied to me all these years and I don’t know what my real name is”, then they be like what is your date of birth and I think “what the fuck is it? Was I even born? Am I even living right now?” and then when I remember I say “what if I was wrong? Would they arrest me and lock me up forever? I AM TOO AWKWARD FOR THAT!”. But then again, maybe I am overreacting, I don’t know.

Anyways, thank you so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed it and comment down below what you are scared of. Did you actually know that there is a fear that somewhere in the world a duck is looking at you? Let me know if you are one of those people because I did not know about that until last year. Please like and follow for more content like this. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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I Actually Told Someone This

I have a story that I really regret and I need to get this off my chest. The things I said completely ruined this girls life.

Every day, from the moment I woke up, I would target this girl. I had know her for my whole life and I don’t know why, just one day I treated her like crap. I would constantly be in her face saying things like ‘you are so fat’ and ‘you are worthless and someday someone is going to discover this and you will be shunned from society’. I know this sound so horrible and I did this for so long. She ended up having bad mental health, she went to hospital for a while but I never really stopped saying these things for her. I would literally say that this at least made her valid as a person because she would have a good back story, that is what made me keep doing it. Whenever I saw her being slightly happy I would always knock her down. No matter where she was or who she was with I would beat her down with my words. Do you know what the best thing was? She never told anyone about it. Not a soul. She didn’t even show it in her face. Nobody would be able to tell. I have done these things to this girl for so many years now, and still to this day I do the same thing. Out of respect I have to mention who this person is. I did get their permission so don’t worry. The girl who I would mentally abuse everyday for many years was… me.

Before you start to think I am looking for a massive reaction and a bunch of attention, I just wanted to put into perspective what so many of us go through every single day. I am sure that you probably felt so angry and had so much hatred for me. You probably thought I was such a bad person, and I mean of course you would because what decent person would ever do that to someone? Nobody should ever be treated that way. Right? So then why do you treat yourself that way? Why do you let your mind beat yourself up every waking morning? When I put it into terms of me saying these things to someone else it seems like the meanest thing in the world, but when we put it in terms of saying this to ourselves, we just let it go. It is hard to think of it this way, but this is exactly what we put up with everyday. We let our mind bully us every single day and we feel as though we shouldn’t get help for it. Just like with every bully, we need to report this and hand ourselves in because if we don’t, this will keep happening and that person’s life will become worse and worse. Just because we can’t physically see this bully, or hear them, it doesn’t mean that you are any less valid. It is just as traumatizing and awful and it is so sad that we feel as though we can’t fix it because if this was an actual human being that did these things to you, you would be going to tell someone and get help.

I know that it can be tough to see it in this way, but I just wanted to tell everyone that you can’t let your mind treat you like that. Try to think of it as a person and then be like ‘what would I do in this situation?’. Would you tell someone? Would you get help and support? I hope those answers are yes because you don’t deserve to be treated like this. For a lot of us, our biggest bully is ourselves and that is not ok. I mean of course your thoughts are valid but you can’t let it keep happening. You need to expose that bully. You know that sadness for the girl who you thought I was bullying, feel that for yourself because you are going through so much right now and although your mind may tell you otherwise, you deserve to be happy and live your life to the fullest.

Thank you so much for watching, I hope you enjoyed it and it put into perspective that we can’t ignore what our mind is telling us. We need to get help just as if it was a school bully. Please like, comment and follow if you like this content and please feel free to comment your thoughts about this post. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.


What To Expect When Starting High School – Story Time Part 4

I remember in P7, the last year of primary school, for those who don’t live in the UK, me and my friends were like ‘I can’t wait to start high school and then we will be so grown up, we can revise and not be bored all the time’. Yes I literally said it will be fun to revise because I won’t be so bored all the time. I mean that is next level ignorance. Just like… what the hell was I bloody thinking because I would do anything to never have to revise again. So today’s ‘what to expect’ I am going to debunk some of the expectations I had when I was in primary school.

Revision

Let’s dive a wee bit deeper into this one. So, as you just read, I was looking forward to revision because I thought I would feel mature and not waste time. No. Just no. Revision humbles you so quickly. You will realise that you have no fucking clue what the hell you are supposed to do. You will find out that you have no clue how to revise, no clue what the hell is happening in class, and no clue how to concentrate. Me, someone in 5th year of school, who is supposed to do their GCSEs, some of the most important exams in their life, still doesn’t know how they revise best. I mean in 1st year they try to teach you different ways to revise and literally batter you if you try to just rewrite your notes. I mean what the hell am I supposed to do. I can’t memorise 1000 bloody mnemonics for every bloody subject. Warning though, you will be told the weirdest rhymes and maybe the will work for you, they sometimes work for me but they are literally such a joke. I will literally be in the exam saying ‘Jane Found An Old Lady In The Bin’. As if I am not distracted enough, now I have these weird images in my head.

Maturity

When you go into high school in 1st year, promise me, you will feel like the bees knees. It is a big jump like and you feel like you are the ones who are ‘2 cool 4 school’. NO. Just NOOOOO. To everyone else you are a literal foetus and you are basically the wee children that your mum forces you to hang out with because she is drinking wine with the mums. You yourself will feel mature as hell but trust me, you aren’t. When you get older you will look at the first years and die inside because you realise you were once one of them. It is such a gross feeling. Just because you walk around for your next class doesn’t mean you are top notch. And it is so annoying when people just act as though they earned their place just for being in 1st year, when in reality everyone just thinks you are obnoxious. You have to realise that you are still young, and that is fine, but just realise that these people have been there longer than you and don’t need you to act as though you rule the place.

High School Musical

I don’t know if this is true for American school, but in the UK, the ‘team spirit’ is none existent. I always thought that everyone in your year would be so close and best mates. No. School life is not all rainbows and butterflies. The school building is most likely falling apart as we speak. It quite literally is like a prison. Grey walls, rows of chairs and tables, people shouting and fighting. The canteen is like a war zone. Their is no room for dancing or singing and if there was, you would be beat up, possibly by the teachers. Sometimes there are moments in school and everyone can relate to each other. But this is very rare and can sometimes still be a divided place. Like when their is a rugby match you are all allowed to watch, or if they do a charity colour run. But again, this doesn’t always happen and you should be careful. And it is so funny in high school musical because like Sharpay will have her locker all decorated and wears extravagant clothes and over the top stationary. You know what, I dare you to bring that stuff in, that will be so hilarious. Well, for me. Just don’t decorate your locker. And if you have one or two pieces of ‘original’ stationary then that’s OK but just don’t come in with a literal fluffy pencil or something like that.

Concentration

Nah, I am not talking about the hand game ‘concentration’. I am talking about the most difficult thing to do. I always thought that the hour long lesson would go by so quickly because it is all different subjects and it will be interesting stuff. Damn, I really was dumb as fuck LOL. This is true for some subjects though, only if you like them, but for others, as soon as you step into the classroom, your mind will switch on and any time they want you to do some actual work, it will be one of the hardest things to do. I have never actually fallen asleep in class myself but I know a lot of people who have and to be honest I don’t blame you. Especially for classes that literally will not help you in the future in any way. The first couple of days are fine because you are just settling in and doing absolute fuck all but then your motivation will literally die. You will have to kind of just get over it but if you do kind of just zone out, let it happen because I mean it do be like that sometimes.

Thank you so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed this part of the series. Please like, follow, and donate some money if you can so that I can keep all of my content free for everyone. You should check out some of discounts too and an app I found for making money because you will quickly discover that you are broke in high school. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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These Are 2 Of The Most Traumatic Things That Have Ever Happened


My life

Jokes, jokes, life is great :/ but lets actually start these stories off.

Left

Let me set the scene for you. You are in California for your holidays. You are around 10 years old when you and your family go into your family go into a shop. It isn’t crowded, just a few people here and there. You are just so happy to be on holiday and there are so many fun things in the shops so you look around for a while, but keep an eye on the multiple exits just to make sure that your family don’t leave. The next minute I look up, standing on my tippy toes to see over the shelves. Where the fuck is my family. Let me say, I am the worrier of the family (yes, yes, you can get autographs later) and so when I tell you my heart dropped, I mean it slam dunked itself into the concrete floor. I was like hmm maybe they just went outside right now so I check all the exits and looked around. Damn why is my heart beating fast just by typing this. The thing is, I could not see them. My mum always told me that if I get lost I should stay where I am, so I did, but then I was like I must look so weird. A smallest tourist just standing in the middle of an isle with no family, a bright red face, hyperventilating, with a souvenir in my hand. They still didn’t come to find me. I checked out the doors again just to see if they realised they had lost one of their children and when I couldn’t see them I finally went up to the counter in tears and was like ‘I can’t find my mum’. My legs where QUAKING. I was near to throwing up and then this security guard came over and was like ‘what’s the problem’ and I was like ‘MY PARENTS LEFT ME’. There were a few other shops in this wee section so we walked around those. This man probably thought I was high on drugs or caffeine because I was shaking all over the place with probably a badly matched hello kitty vest and bright yellow shorts. And finally I found them. They weren’t too far from the other shop but I hadn’t seen them as I was inside. But that isn’t even the worst part. I came running over to them with a security guard behind me and they were like ‘what happened’. THEM BITCHES DIDN’T KNOW I WAS LOST. I was in near tears. I was convinced I was an orphan. And after all that stress they didn’t even realise I was gone. Damn, thanks Mum and Dad.

Moana

OK so the only link with this story and the tile is water, but bare with me. Right, so this was only last year. Corona was in town so we couldn’t go out anywhere so we just went on a cheeky road trip to Dunegal. To be honest I could leave it there, I mean that is just traumatizing in itself. But anyways, we had got new wet suits because we were going to go in the sea. I know that sounds crazy but we just wanted a bit of a holiday experience. Anyways, I think it was the one of the last days and we went to this pretty nice beach. The waves were great and we were boogy boarding on the waves, good times all around, well, as good as Dunegal could be. First of all, my twin was literally drowning in the water and was like traumatised from that and then I was trying to catch a narly wave bro and I went quite far out. Mind you, I am terrified of the sea. I mean sea weed will give me a panic attack, no joke. And I was like, hmm, I seem to be floating out. It was kind of funny though because my sister and dad were like ‘umm are you OK?’ and here I was, in the middle of the ocean like ‘yeah it is completely cool, this is what I meant to do’ because I didn’t want to be panicking my sister. I don’t know if I am a great actor or what but I was out here literally nearly in tears paddling away on the water just like ‘hahah I am totally fine’. I was not. So every time I tried to catch a wave to go back to shore, I was just sucked back in. Like, I had never had somebody want me that much LOL. But anyways, the reason I didn’t want to panic was because my sister already nearly died and I was like ‘I gots to be strong’. Spoiler, I eventually got back by myself and my legs were shaking like jelly and then they were like ‘what the fuck just happened’ and I was like ‘nah, it’s cool man, just wanted a wee trip to the sea ya know’. Bitch I ain’t never going in the sea again. PERIODT.


Thank you for reading. Please like, follow and donate some change if you can because I want to keep all of my content free for everyone. Have a great day, stay safe, and stay yourself PERIODT.

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What To Expect When Starting High School – Story Time Part 2

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It has been a week since I posted the part 1 so go check that out now and come back to this one after, I mean if you want, I guess it doesn’t really matter. Here is the link anyways – Part one. Anyways, let’s get into it. Last time I talked mostly about the teachers and the other people in the school, this time I am going to talk more about the work and tests.

Homework

Right, so when going from primary school to secondary school, you are gonna see a bit of a change. There won’t be any cut ‘n’ sticks, or any colouring in. It’ll be more like essays, tears and bullshit. I remember when I was in first year and I was guiding some parents around for the new year coming in soon and they were like ‘so what would you say the homework is like in first year, is there a lot? Is it hard?’ and I just looked at them like what the fuck am I supposed to say to that :/. This was the quickest I have thought in my lifetime, and I was like ‘it’s alright. I mean of course there is more than in primary school but the teachers are understanding if you have an excuse to hand it in later’. Bitch my acting was on point. That whole line was as fake as the girls in my year. I mean I was impressed by myself. Although don’t stress guys, it is literally the first year and they only put stress on you to see how good you really are. To be honest, a majority of them were drawing posters. Like no joke, the amazon rain forest was quaking with the amount of paper I had to use. So I guess it is a transition period in terms of homework. Personally I would recommend to not get too stressed about homework because as long as it hand it in on the day, they will think you are great. And besides, if you don’t do so well, it won’t go towards anything. Just use this year as a way to find out who you are and how you work best. For me, and this is gonna sound nerdy, I do my homework the day I get them. I have done that since the day I started and it helps me not get too stressed and I definitely recommend but I guess it depends on your lifestyle. As you can probably tell, I was not too social but we move.

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Exams

I am gonna have to be honest, the first year exams are not as laid back as the 2nd year ones. This is only because in the first year you kinda want to make an impression but in 2nd year you don’t need any of the grades and nobody really cares how you do. And you need to know that the first year stuff may seem really hard now, but trust me, in the future you will know it like the back of your hand. By third year, I didn’t even have to look at the first-year stuff because we did it so much. You will get sick of it, to be honest, but you gotta do what you gotta do. For me, I was stressing for all of the exams and literally was too worried about them. If I could tell my younger self something I would definitely tell them that your social life and mental health and 100 times more important than schoolwork. I mean you can’t be good at everything. A few bad grades don’t mean anything, especially when you are having a fun time. Anyways, on exam week, I do have to tell you, the school feels like a completely different place. I mean I would come into school as though it was my first day again and I was proper sweating as though this determined my life. By the way, it does fuck all for your future. Oh and also, I don’t know why but no matter how much you eat on the day of the exams, your stomach will be rumbling or making weird digestion noises. Yes they are very embarrassing and in third year I would literally be shaking the whole room. Don’t ask me why that happens but just know that it happens to the best of us.

Class Work

OK, so for the last comment in today’s ‘what to expect’, let’s talk about the actual work in class. Here is just a pre-warning. Your back will become deceased. Maybe not at the start of the year, but at the end you will have back problems so make use of a locker if you can. It may seem inconvenient but use it because all the older years who may not get one are very jealous and, to be respectful, I would use it. You will miss it when it is gone. Chances are you will also get folders for all of your classes, and yes this will make you feel very grown-up, but don’t let it get to your head. Holding them in your arms, even though you have room in your bag, does not make you look cool. When you are older you will get massive ones called lever arch files that actually way a tone and you physically can’t put them in your bag. Trust me, we don’t want to be holding them, and we won’t judge you for not holding a file, I mean, if anything, we envy you. But to the actual work now. The things you are learning now are gonna be retaught for at least the next three years of your life. You can take that as a reassurance that it doesn’t really matter if you don’t understand it now, or you can just take it as a warning for boredom. You will be learning stuff on top of that obvious but they will be talked about a lot. A majority of the work is OK but I think the hardest thing is that you have so many more subjects than just Maths, English and PE. For some, you will find awesome subjects that you love, and for others, you will find subjects that you detest and sleep in. That’s OK because you are just trying to find the ones you are interested in. In my first year of school we had to do Latin, don’t ask me why, but I would nearly cry every time from the sheer boredom. I mean I find a lot of subjects useless already, but learning a dead language was next-level pain. So overall, I just want to get you to know that, this year is going to be scary and hard for a lot of you but please don’t get too scared because when you look back on it you are gonna laugh at all the things you thought or did. Let yourself make those mistakes, or memories as I like to call them, and just remember that it will all get better. And take that from me, a person who had a really really tough time in my first year. If you wanna read more about it you can read it here. This year will pass and it will be different for many, but no matter what you know or don’t know yet, you will eventually catch up with everyone. I remember we would do wee quizzes that everyone did well in, everyone except me, but the first year, I would say, is mostly about getting everyone to the same level. Try not to get too stressed and know that you can comment any struggle you are having, or have had, on this post, or dm me on Instagram @periodtblogs

Thank you so much for reading this. Don’t forget to like, follow and donate some money because I really want to make all of my content free for everyone. Also go check out the discount codes I have for awesome shops. Hope you have a great year in school and try not to fit in too much, just be yourself and others will follow PERIODT.


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Impostor Syndrome

As a living person, I can say that I get this a lot. If you are not sure what it means, look it up. Jokes, it technically means that you feel as though you aren’t qualified enough, or don’t deserve to be in the position you are in. Or at least that’s what I know it as. I never know what that feeling was until last year when someone said how they felt and they were like ‘well, that’s impostor syndrome for ya’. I want to post about this because I want others to know that there is a name for what they feel, others feel it, and it’s OK.

Lets start with a wee story time of when I have felt impostor syndrome. To be honest, it is all the time, but that is way too long of a story. For one, I felt it when I went to high school. Even though I did a literal test to get in and they could only select a certain amount, I got in. Even though I did well on those tests, I still felt like it wasn’t good enough. I would ask around and other people in my new school got 2 or 3 more points than me and I don’t know why but I felt as though me being there was a mistake and as though I was going to be discovered at some point, so I tried to earn my place. I got good grades and worked hard in class. But still that didn’t go away. Not until a few years after, when nobody came to kick me out of school. I mean I got the grades to go in but I still felt as though I was taking someone else’s place, but I wasn’t. I felt like the only reason I got in was because my sister’s got in, but it wasn’t. Sometimes I still feel that way in school but I just accept it really, this is where I am and it doesn’t matter how I got here I suppose.

Now lets get a story about a famous person who felt that way. You really aren’t gonna believe me when I say this but Emma Watson (yes THE Emma Watson) felt impostor syndrome when she went to an arena full of feminists. I know it sounds crazy but it’s true. I am pretty sure that it was one of her first talks in this area but in an interview I heard that when she got in and was talking to other feminists, she felt as though she didn’t belong there, in that crowd with other people who had talked to crowds about the matter. But now look where she is. She is on stages everywhere talking about equal rights. How crazy is that, to know that she once felt like she wasn’t meant to be in that hall with all the influential speakers, and is now one herself. Imagine if she gave into that and left the arena. When I think of the word ‘feminism’ or ‘equality’ I instantly think of her. It just shows how this happens to literally everyone, no matter your status or fame in the world. It is how you view yourself, almost as if all the faith you have in yourself is gone. It is OK to feel this way though, as long as you keep going and don’t give up.

It is weird though, isn’t it, how most of us feel as though we don’t belong. Even people who have completed their PHD in university, don’t believe they deserve to be in the place in life they are now. By the way, this isn’t me talking about Emma Watson, this is just people in general. But I literally have heard stories about smart people who feel this way. So I guess it goes to show that it doesn’t go away by learning new stuff. To be honest, I don’t know how it goes away. You just don’t think about it as much I guess.

I don’t know if this is impostor syndrome or not, but even when I went to talk to a councilor about my mental health, I didn’t really believe that I was ‘bad enough’ to get the treatment I was getting. I am not really sure if that is just denial or whatever, but it is true. I felt like I wasn’t as mentally ill as others so therefore I shouldn’t be getting helped. But I mean, that has gone away a bit now. I guess I just told you guys this because your brain can trick you into believing so many false things but yet you are here. You got where you are for someone reason. You probably deserve it and it is fate so I guess try to cherish the moments, be thankful and confident.

Thank you for reading this. Don’t forget to like, follow, and donate some change so that I can keep all of my content free for everyone. Also check the codes down below to find great discounts on awesome stores. Hope you have a great day, a great life, and remember, you are deserve the world and don’t let nobody tell you otherwise PERIODT.


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Zoom

Lately, I feel like the zoom classes have been as much of an emotional roller coaster as me. I mean, it is intimidating really. I mean I have felt almost everything on these zoom calls

Sadness

So this one is a given. I mean of course I am never going to go on a class happy. That is not what they intended. The most boring part of the day is now done in the most boring way. I mean at least in school I had someone to talk to when I am not bothered to learn, but now I only have the wall to stare at when I am not bothered to learn. I mean they really took the saying ‘I may as well be talking to a wall to a whole new level. Like damn. Every morning I just lie there for a second like ‘fuck’. You know. Another day of boredom. And I am in my GCSE years so I still have a full day of classes and they expect me to deal with it. Em no thank you. Scrolling down to the link, clicking on it, then staring at your teacher in a small cube is one of the saddest things I could do. No joke, at some points I do that wee office thing where you just stare of into the distance as though there is a camera, and in my head I’m like ‘what the fuck is happening’

Anger

I don’t know if I have cried more from anger or sadness but literally google classroom and zoom just don’t decide to work sometimes. Like I will have to click the link 5 times before it actually comes up. Thank god I have my camera off because I would come in looking like I just washed my face with an acid. It do be very red. And it is even more annoying when you have a bloody squeaky chair (if you did not catch on, my chair is squeaky) and for every move you make the chair goes like SQQssuUUeeJJJkkYYyyqq. I literally threaten to punch my chair as though I am five and then my teacher keeps buffering and expecting us to know everything she just said even though zoom just cancelled the most important part of the course. Don’t even get me started about when the teacher just waits for an answer. I mean they just will wait the whole hour until someone says ‘yes’ and I am here like ‘YOU ARE GOING TO FUCKING MAKING US DO THIS FOR HOMEWORK’ and they just sitting there like a raisin with their lips pursed and their arms crossed. I mean get over yourself. Half of us probably aren’t even in the room right now.

Accurate??????

Embarrassment

Why is it that every time I get asked to answer a question I get it wrong? I mean it is so much worse because everything is so dramatized. The awkward pause when you first answer, everyone is only concentrated on me, they know it was me, I don’t know what to say. Like this happened to me the other day, I got the answer wrong and he paused and was like ‘no. How did you get that?’ and I literally was like ’em, I don’t know’. When I tell you I died inside, I was literally deceased. Decaying. It was so bad. And it was a large class too. To be honest I am still recovering and I was talking to my friend after about how embarrassing that was and she said she was proper laughing at me. Let’s just say, I will forever just say my mic is not working.

LOL what is this picture

Fear

There are so many scary parts in the day. Forgetting to sign in even though you were at the class. Accidentally using the wrong email. Going on the zoom first. The teacher going to ask someone a question. The silence when nobody answers. When you hand in work one minute late. When you want to answer but don’t know if someone else is gonna answer or if the teacher will. When your teacher goes to shout at their kids. When your teacher gives a lecture about not talking. I mean the list could go on. But let’s talk about when teachers are gonna call on someone. In school you can at least see if the teacher is looking in your direction. You can look away. Look as though you don’t know or are still working on it. But on zoom, you have no clue where you are on their screen, you can’t look away because your camera isn’t even on and it is just an overall nightmare. And then if they do pick you, you may be lagged so don’t know if it was you or someone with a similar name. Then when you go to answer you literally can’t even turn on the mic and the whole class is silent. I mean someone could write a short horror movie about that. And then at the end you get the answer wrong and then the movie just ends with ‘KO’ or something like that. I do be getting anxiety in those calls.

Boredom

So I just felt like this had to be addressed even though it is obvious. 2 years ago I would say, the school could not get any worse. That bitch was dumb. I could not have been further from the truth. All-day I click come buttons, talk to myself, and just sit. I mean this is basically an office job, right? Although I guess it has given me the motivation to not end up in an office job. No offence to anyone, it is just I know that will not be the job for me. I prefer to be out and about. Besides, my back has literally died and I can’t deal with that all my life. No wonder my parents always have a sore back. The whole day I just want to sleep. I mean nothing is actually going into my brain. Then I start to focus on dumb things. Especially when they don’t even get us to write anything down. I’m like, bro, let me just sign off, go to be, and not wake up until corona is over.

Happiness *delete this later*

Stress

This is a given with school in general I suppose but these guys give the most unreasonable time to complete a task. And then even if I get it handed in slightly late, google classroom comes up with the ‘MISSING‘ and I literally get scared. They probably don’t give a crap though. Although sometimes they do be giving passive-aggressive messages that I don’t know how to respond to. We move though. The fact they literally expect us to work so fast too. Like they have the question up for one second and they expect us all to be done. No babes, my brain lags like the screen I am looking at. It is stressful when you get on the call late because you are like ‘are they going to literally call me out’ but then when you realise nobody is talking you have this moment of serenity. Well, nearly all the time. One time I went on late and it was all quiet but then a few minutes later I realised my speakers just weren’t working and I couldn’t hear her for the whole lesson. That was not ideal.

Tiredness

You have to admit it guys. There are days where you go onto class in your PJ’s and just fall asleep to the sound of their voice. It really makes you think about how many of them should not have become teachers because they literally have no tone in their voice. To be honest, even at the end of the day I am tired, and the middle, and… all of it. I am pretty sure I heard that it has something to do with the lack of sun. So if I ever go to take a day off school, I am just doing it for my health. *mean while it is raining pretty much everyday*. My eyes are literally so heavy though that someone could mistake me for being high. Like I look so awful and pale. I guess I can’t really say much has changed. It is so hard during classes like English or math or, well, any of them, because it is too much effort to care. I really don’t see the point. We are going through a pandemic, people dying everywhere, the world falling apart, yet I am here in front of my computer learning about the effect of punctuation or how to find out how much one lolly costs when I bought 7 lollies for £1.70. Like I don’t care for god sake. The shop will bloody tell me that.

Confusion

Sometimes I look at my screen like I just saw my teacher transform into a cat. Maybe that is because I don’t go to Hogwarts but I mean I just get so confused. In class people would ask questions and they would explain it slower but at home they just decide to not explain anything and I am here like, ‘I lost you at good morning’. But it is when they try to explain what we are doing in the day and in the future and then they go onto what they had for breakfast and how her cat has corona or something. And I just look at her like what does that word mean. It happened to me in Spanish the other day. The teacher typed out what we should for the day, in English by the way, and I swear I had a stroke while reading it or something because I had no clue what to do. No joke, I nearly gave up. I just, give up with school in general, to be honest. LOL

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed and related to this. If you did, don’t for get to like, subscribe and donate some money so that I can keep all of my content free for everyone. Every little helps I guess. But hang in there because it will end eventually, I hope, and you can go outside and show the world the bad bitch you are PERIODT.

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What To Expect When Starting High School – Story Time Part 1

Why does this make me sound like a viral blogger. Part 1 lol. There are many things that you learn when you go into high school. Some expected things and some… unexpected things. And now you are gonna learn about some of them in the form of a story. Although I wont tell you everything because there are some things you need to learn for yourself.


The Hard Truth

So when you I went into high school, I think it would be accurate to say that I became very self-conscious. I mean, at some points I felt completely ignored, and at others I felt like I couldn’t get the eyes of me (p.s. I know they weren’t looking at me because of my looks, trust me). Everyone looked like an absolute giant and it was weird because you came from being the ‘old, mature’ ones in primary school to being the ‘weird, tiny’ ones in high school. My sister had been in 3rd year by this point, so therefore she was in the last of her annoying years. (yes there are the annoying years 1,2 and 3). But I would be like why are you always so mean to me in school. Like I would literally walk to my class alone or breathe near her and she would shove me and laugh at me. Now, don’t expect this from everyone, don’t worry, it was only that she is my sister so don’t worried about being pushed… on purpose anyways. Me and my friends always would play out in the ‘playground’ as though it was still primary school. I mean we never ran, we knew that much, but we had different phases of just being loud and obnoxious. At one point we also played with bouncy balls, yes I know, don’t judge me. But that was what everyone, in my year, would be loving. And there is a 1st year garden that is literally the worst thing. We thought we were all so special because we had our own private area. No. Just no. It was technically like a zoo exhibit. Everyone looking in at you. And no, they are not jealous. I am now in 5th year, nearly in lower 6th, and I know now that everyone in any of the years above will not like you. Now I am sorry to say that and it is nothing personal, it is just, stereotypically, 1st years are bloody annoying. Like, it is just something about them. No matter what they do, breathe, walk, look at you, you just find it aggravating. But the good thing about that is that you can use it to your advantage. No matter what you do, they will find you annoying, so, just use this year to do what you want and learn what is ‘acceptable’ in your school. It is different for every school but there are certain things you will get bullied about. But don’t worry that people will remember what stuff you did because they wont remember. They all have better things to think about, well, unless what you did is really embarrassing, but eventually nobody will really care. As long as you start to mature and know your place in the school, the others wont bother you and will start to judge the new ones. And trust me, you will look back on yourself and be like, I cannot believe I did that. How was I not beat up? But then you laugh and move on. So does everyone else. I can’t really remember a single embarrassing thing anyone else has done even though everyone has done something. So use this year to your advantage I suppose and try not to take anyone too seriously. They don’t know you so it isn’t personal.

Have I Mentioned The Teachers?

Damn, this one is tough. You know what, I could probably just cut and past the last paragraph. I am sorry but… the teachers hate 1st years too. But it is so funny because some hide it better than others. One of my math teachers would shout at us so much. No matter what we did, she would hate it. But then one day this 5th year came into our class and was having a conversation and asking what she would like for lunch as though they were best mates. I swear to god that woman changed in a flash. I watched him leave in awe. How the hell did he like her? How did he not get shouted at? And this was one of the teachers who puts their had on their desks, looks up slowly while taking their glasses of and screams. Yup. I was so shocked. But now, I don’t have her as my teacher, but some of my friends do and they literally say she is so nice. Like it is so weird. It is as though 1st years give off a bad smell, which you don’t, that just makes everyone mad. It is funny. My geography teacher is the nicest man on the earth and he gets on so well with all of the older students. But you should see him when he talks about the 1st years he just had. Like he just looks so frustrated and for no reason. And then for the teachers who seem like they like you. Maybe some of them do. I am sure there are teachers out their who like 1st years. But look, when you get older and become friendlier with the teachers, they tell you stuff. They just show another side of themselves that you never saw a few years ago. I remember my class was talking to a teacher once and they were saying how they can’t handle the 1st years and we were like ‘awk, well you loved us didn’t you?’ and she just made a face and moved on. Yeah, it really hits you how annoying you used to be. But I guess it is probably because you are still wired to the primary school way of living, and trust me, they didn’t teach primary school for a reason. It may take some longer to get wired to the high school life, but you’ll get their eventually and you wont be so scared of some of the teachers. Did you know they actually are humans too and actually are funny and kind :0 ? Wow, who would have thought.

So that is all I am going to warn you about today, but make sure to like and follow so you don’t miss the next parts coming out soon. Trust me, you will need to hear this. But just remember guys that everyone goes through this and it is all part of the process. Please donate some money to keep my content free for everyone and enjoy everyday as it comes because you don’t realize you are in the good days until you have left them PERIODT.


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!Schools Closed Until 8th Of March!

No this is not a joke. Schools in the UK are closed. But what do we do now. How will we cope through this seemingly never ending third lock down.


To be honest, I have no clue. I mean it only clicked with me today how long away March is. I mean it is still January. Boris didn’t even promise that we would be back before Easter so I mean I don’t know what I should mentally prepare myself for. Although it sounds good out of context, ‘school shut until March’, we still have to do school from home and at this point I am like ‘well if I’m still doing school work I might as well be in school and seeing my friends.’. I am pretty sure I already made a post about lock down and what it has kind of done for teens and how we are so confused now. I mean yes there are vaccines going out, in fact my grandparents just got them today, but for some reason it still doesn’t feel like the end. Even when everyone gets the vaccine, I just can’t get it into my head that it will be over. I feel like that is only one step in a whole pile of them. It is going to be weird though, going back to school and normal life. It is weird to think that one day everything will be as it was before. No masks, no distancing, no google classroom (I hope). It will kind of be like we just got woken up after a really intense nightmare. One day we will be going on with life and then just stop when we get a wave of memory and we’ll be like ‘damn we used to have to put on a mask everyday.’. It definitely will take some time to not instantly reach for a hand sanitizer or to not go onto the road to distance from someone.

Why is this turning into a story time. Anyways. This is going to be really tough. For EVERYONE, this will be tough. But as a community we need to stick together. I know this probably sounds like the 10th motivational assembly you had in school but take it from me, a 15 year old, and not an old man with a ‘relatable’ power point behind him. People are going to deal with this in so many different ways. Maybe you will start an online business. Maybe you will start to paint. Maybe, you will create the next great dish that will change the world of food as we know it today. There was a phase in the second quarantine, which was utter crap because schools were still open’, where I had convinced myself I had just become great at art. I don’t know why but I just had the feeling. I don’t really know where I am going with this story but yeah. I think that the third times a charm so hey, something great might happen really soon that could change your life. Do something you usually wouldn’t do because you are scared of being judged because guess what? You aren’t gonna be going out and seeing those people anytime soon. Die your hair, cut your hair, try new make up, new clothes. If your bank account is up for it anyways.

What we all kind of forget whenever we get more bad news is that it isn’t always going to be this crap all the time. I mean 100 years ago they had a pandemic and they were able to recover from it, even though they didn’t have all the resources we have today. There are so many excellent and smart people out there who are trying their best to make the world better again for you, for me, for all of us. It will be hard to believe that, I know. I mean last year I was like damn I can’t wait for this to be over in a few months and go on holiday next year. Well, look at me now. As pale as the snow and with literal back issues from sitting all day. But just remember that some day in the future you will be smiling with a passport in hand, the warm sun on your face, and the feeling of possibility. New Zealand have done it already. I mean they got through it so well and although we are just taking a bit longer 😦 we will still get their. You will see your friends, you will see another day, and you will see a life without masks.

What I would love though is if everyone could comment down below something you have started that got you through lock down or something they plan to do to get you through this one. I think it would be a great reminder of how we are all going through this. It is a global pandemic and I know that nobody will be going through the exact same thing as you, but you aren’t alone. I promise. We will get through this. Subscribe to my blog and we can do this together. I try to upload everyday and please comment below if there is something you want mentioned and I will make sure to include all of them in my future posts. Lets just take this one step at a time. This pandemic ain’t gonna get the best of us.


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This Was The Worst Year Of My Life So Far, But Where Am I Now

The first year of high school. This was in 2016 I think, but it was the worst year of my life. I want to post on here to see if anyone else can relate or to show them that it will get better.

I remember the first day of school, I was nervous because everything was so new and I had no clue what to expect. The only person I knew was my twin and I was so lucky to have her there because I don’t know where I would be today if she had not been there with me. To be honest, I don’t think I spoke to anybody else for the first couple of days. Everyone was so loud and outgoing. They seemed to know everyone so well, yet I couldn’t gather up the courage to say hello to the person beside me. I remember going home that day exhausted, holding back tears and wondering how I could spend the next 7 years of my life in this hell whole.

It wasn’t until a couple days in until me and my twin finally mustered up the courage to ask a group of girls whether or not we could sit next to them. They were all nice and said yes so we sat with them and I ended up sitting next to them for the rest of the year. Not for one second did I think they actually liked me though. I thought that they were too nice to say anything, they found me annoying and ugly. I thought that they just liked my twin and I was the annoying sister that tagged along. They all seemed so beautiful, confident and smart and then there was just me. Even at one point, my twin was in the same class as one of them and they said ‘at least I have one of my friends in my class’ and I still didn’t believe they like me. Even though they literally said it out loud that they saw me as a friend. My brain just could not accept it.

Every night, for what seemed like half the school year, I would cry in my room at night. And I know that sounds so ridiculous but I did because I was so scared for the next day. I was scared I would fail school. I was scared I would never make a friend. I literally couldn’t help it. My mum would come into my room most nights, seeing me crying and I felt like such a nuisance. I mean who cries in high school right. I can’t describe to you the fear and hurt I had. I had no clue how I could move on from that. I truly believed my life would be like that forever and I hated myself so much for that. One time in biology class, on of my friends saw that I was nearly in tears and she asked me how I was. Like genuinely asked as though she cared about me. How weird is that right? I swear to god though, 2016 me was worse at taking hints than a man. I mean they just flew right past me.

I am going to leave the rest of the depressing stuff because, well, you can get the jist of how terrible it was. Traumatizing some may say. But lets go onto the present. Yes, it has gotten better, and you better believe it.

You know that group of girls I was talking about, the ones I sat next to during lunch. Well, yeah, 5 years on and they have been my best friends throughout high school. No drama, just great, caring, reliable friends. There is only 5 of us in our group, including me and my twin, so it is quite small to be honest, but I know them so well. We get on like we have known each other forever and I wouldn’t trade them for the world. One of my favorite quotes is ‘what would you rather? 2 pound coins or 200 pennies? The 2 pound coins obviously. Each one is so much more valuable. It doesn’t take up so much room and they are more useful to me. Where as, if you got 200 pennies you would always be losing them or giving them away. They take up so much room and each one is worth nothing. They don’t matter much. Replace the money with friends. Would you rather 2 great friends that you adore and get along with so well, or 200 acquaintances? Yes you could say they are all your friends, but you don’t know them all that well. You lose some, throw them away. The don’t mean a lot to you. So eventually you are left with 1 or 2 who you don’t really like and maybe someday you will have 0. Always appreciate your close friends.’. I love that quote so much because it is so true. I was always so fixated on becoming popular, having the most followers on Instagram, knowing everybody. I was so sad that I never had that. For years I had to accept that I wasn’t one of the ‘popular kids’. But now I know that that doesn’t matter. I am never going to lose these friends and they are such an important part of my life now.

As for the other parts of school life, I don’t cry at night… not for those reasons anyways. I get decent grades. I have friends. Sure I still get the same thoughts at points but they are less frequent now. So many things change and if you are in the same position that I was in now, just know that it is OK to feel that way. I have felt similarly and it is so much better now, trust me. It may take a while but it is part of the process. It is just going to make you appreciate what you have in the future more. I am so sorry if you are going through this and if you are please dm me on Instagram (@period_t1) and you can talk to me about it.

Thank you so much for reading this and I hope you found it beneficial for yourself or gave you a better understanding of how others may feel. Make sure to be kind to everyone. Start a conversation because you never know, they could be your best friend. Just be yourself and don’t let anyone take you for granted PERIODT.

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These Real Life Stories Are The Cure For Embarrassment

We have to admit it, one of the worst feelings in the world is embarrassment, and that is coming from someone who has gone through many tough moments. I always feel better though when I hear other peoples embarrassments, which sounds quite evil know that I say it. But I’m going to tell you two of the most embarrassing moments of my life. PS, please don’t judge me.

Story 1 – A homeless man

It started just like any day. A cold morning. A warm cup of coffee. A train into town with my friends. And a partridge in a pear tree. Now, as I was walking out of the train station it was really busy, I mean you know how Saturday afternoons are. And we were walking in the massive crowd, chatting, having a wee bit of fun and we were about to turn to get on this bridge to get into town. Then it happened. One of my most embarrassing regretful moments. I tripped over this homeless man who was asleep at the turning point onto the bridge. Like I didn’t step on him or anything but I proper knocked my foot off him. I didn’t even know it was a person until I walked on a bit and my friend was like ‘that was a whole ass person’ and I felt so bad. In my defense though, I really did not see him there, it was crowded, and he was right at the blind spot of the turn. To this day I do not know if I kicked him in the head or what but I will be forever traumatized and sorry.

Story 2 – In the woods

This story… This story makes me die inside every time I hear it. It wasn’t that long ago actually. Maybe a few weeks back, but I was out on a walk by myself with my dog, Skylar. I was going down these wee step things when I saw this woman who was doing a photo shot for a bag. It must have been her company or something but that is besides the point. And you know how it is, you gotta try and look good in front of the photographer. I was ready for her to ship me off to a modelling agency because I am just too cute. But no. So I walked on and looped around as I usually would and then before I got to her I put Skylar on the leash so she wouldn’t be around the camera you know. And at this point the woman was just over a small bridge and I was facing away from her and she said ‘I’ll just be a few more minutes’. Being the weird person I am I said ‘OK’, like in a loud voice. There was no way she didn’t hear it. Then I look up and there is another woman with her. SHE WASN’T TALKING TO ME. I panicked so bad, whipped out my phone and started acting like I was talking to someone else. And you better believe I did not cross that bridge. No, I went in the complete opposite direction. I kid you not, I had to go down a muddy hill, into the river, and back up a muddy hill just to get onto the path I needed to. I was literally about to cry. She must of been like, ‘what the hell is that girl doing, what an actual creep’. I guess the moral of the story is to never talk to strangers. Nothing good will ever come of it.

Wow, I feel so embarrassed to publish this now but I hope this helped to cure your embarrassment. If not, trust me, I have had a lot more embarrassing stories so please feel free to ask for more. But we all go through something embarrassing at some point in our lives, so don’t let it ruin your day, PERIODT.

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