I’m not the one to be really self-confident but do you know those times where you do something or use something and you feel that, if someone was watching you, you would look pretty cool. I know that sounds corny as fuck, but it is true. Some of the below may seem a bit weird, but like, until you use them, you won’t understand.
My friend got me this for my birthday last month and I had seen them around on pinterest before but I never got one because, well, I’m a cheapskate. But then when I used it, I realised that I hadn’t appreciated the fact of how cool it feels to drink out of it. If you are one of those people who is like “I really want to drink a bit of milk from that but I know I will just get shouted at” then this is for you. To be honest, I never knew I was one of those people until I got the water bottle. You just flip of the cap and drink it. You feel so rebellious despite the fact it is a literal fucking water bottle
Do you know when you are in school and the person with the car comes walking in swinging their keys around on the lanyard and making the biggest mess with everyone getting chopped in the face or not being able to hear a conversation? Well, I understand it. I don’t have a car, but like I have my keys on a Disneyland lanyard and when I take it out for whatever reason, I feel so grownup and bad-ass. Like how absolutely crap is it to just have keys on a key-ring, I mean how last year. But having it on a piece of fabric just asserts dominance in a way. But I don’t go around swinging it on my finger. That’s just annoying.
You know, I don’t even have an apple watch, but I know people who do and whenever they flick their wrist and basically control their day with their wrist, I just feel like that is so cool. They literally be making fucking bread or calling fucking mars aliens. There is one time though, and I will never forget this, where my physics teacher had an apple watch. This was when they had only been out for a bit and she was doing something on the board and using her apple watch as well, and being the absolute jokester I am, I kind of mimicked her. I just swiped my wrist as though I had a watch, not in a mean way though. I don’t know why I did it but I thought I was so funny in front of my friends. And then I looked up and realised she was watching me. I don’t know if she found it funny or not because she is quite sarcastic, but I feel like it might have made her not like me as much as she already didn’t. But yeah, apple watches are bad ass and I will never mimic someone ever again 😐
Again, I don’t really have these. Also, I am not talking about any Bluetooth earphones, not airpods or anything because although they are cool, they are also basic and just for like music and normal things. I mean the bodyguard, busy businessman type ones. Like they are mainly for phone calls and they just click the side of their head and say something like “talk to me” and then go on with their day. They defo all are ordering special missions and are about to save the planet. I want one so bad because it kinda looks like it is a part of you, like you are a robot or some shit. I never get calls and I fucking hate calls so much, but like damn, those scam callers are in for some exciting action when I answer with “talk to me” and when I realise they are scammers I will be so hyped up that I’ll be like “Listen up punk and listen close because I am not going to repeat myself. Never call this number again because with the click of a button I could get people, dangerous people, to track you down. So try me punk because I’m already two steps ahead”. That’s pretty cool right. I imagine that would be said in a deep, Liam Neeson in the movie “Taken”, voice.
This I do have, but it do be kinda old and squeaky so it doesn’t quite have the effect I was looking for, but still. In all the movies they have the bad guy that slowly swings around to look at the hero before they have their 30 minute speech about how long it took for him to be able to kill the villain and then the villain escapes because in the time the hero took to say everything, my nan could have crossed the street, and she’s dead. So it’s pretty intimidating to just spin around like magic. And even when you aren’t trying to destroy the planet it is cool. You have the high back and you feel so official and comfy. It really gives you a high status even though it is for literally fuck all. I like them and hope one day to have the best spiny chair turn around scene in all of history
Anyways, that is kinda it. I am not really a bad-ass person so this might be a bit of a stretch, but some of them are true you have to admit. Like the first few were a bit mad but like it got better. Comment down below what makes you feel like a badass or if you agree with anything I said. Don’t forget to like and follow if you enjoyed this content and I will see you tomorrow for more. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT
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You have to admit, there is some ridiculous shit out there that has literally no purpose and when you see it you are like “what the actual fuck”. And that shit is me. lol that was just a joke But seriously, there are literally people who make a fuck ton of money off the stupidest things. And I mean, fair play, but like, what made you think this would be useful… but I will take your entire stock. Here are a few of the things that make me think this
Bro, I knew the world was getting lazier but what is this shit. How big must your room be to literally get another robot to switch it off. Now, I suppose it will stop you from getting eaten by the monsters that live in the dark, so you don’t have to leap into the safety of your bed, but like, a majority of us will have LED lights which is so much easier. Then again, I am a lazy shit so it would be fun. I would shit myself though if it broke and kept turning the lights on and off. That would not be ideal, but I’d take the risk. Does anyone actually own these though? And I mean at this rate, by next year we are all going to have robots that wipe our fucking ass. Where does it stop?!
If you are a teen, you have definitely seen this on TikTok. It is the wee balls that people would throw onto the ceiling and then they would have to make sure none fall and it literally gives me so much anxiety. I’m like “fuck! Bob watch the one on the right! It’s going to fall! Catch it catch it CATCH IT. Oh my god mate that was close, look out for the one at the back, it looks a bit unstable”. Please someone tell me why I get so stressed as if it’s a bloody football match. They are supposed to help for people with ADHD, anxiety and autism, or at least that is what it says on the ads. Maybe I will use that on my mum and say that it will really help me mentally, so then she buys me them. Then again they aren’t that expensive. But I mean a broke bitch gotta do what a broke bitch gotta do!
To be fair, this one really is necessary because it is so simple yet so effective. I have also seen literal dogs use it, like Bunny on tiktok who has proper conversations and existential crisis (relatable) and is just an overall good boy. But yeah, I think if I were to have one, I would make it one of these “Well it was fucken one of yeas! Desgostan!” or “bitch?!” or just any meme that is living rent free in my head. At the moment it is “I’m gettin’ ripped tonight! RIP that…” but that would get annoying fast. I am already annoyed at myself SMH
I didn’t really know how to title this without it sounding creepy but like these were literally the best things in my childhood. I am pretty sure they are for like artists and designers or something, but kids definitely kept the industry going. You could put them in literally any stance that you wanted and I felt like a proper genius when I made it do the bare minimum. I would make it look like it was walking and I acted as though I deserved a noble prize. They were officially ruined for me the day that I saw that someone made it do the dab. That was traumatizing but now I want one again. It literally does fuck all though, I mean why was I so obsessed with it as a kid. It is a literal unfinished barbie with a stick up its ass. But I guess I liked being able to make it into anything I wanted because you could move the knees and the shoulder and everything you know. I always see them around and some of them are tiny ones and I kid you not, if I gave into the urge each time, I would have a whole community of them. Although, they are definitely the things that you would love the first day, but then after that it just gathers dust in the corner of your room and you would forget about it, and then some day you are just so fed up with looking at it so you throw it away. Why is that also me LOL
Whoever made this is a mug. How uncoordinated do you have to be to use this. I suppose if you have some sort of disability but like where is the need. As an avid tea and coffee drinker, I have never needed this really. Maybe after a few coffees when I’m a bit shaky? Wait why is that cool. And I just get random urges to swing things for some reason, kinda like that annoying 6th year who just got a new car and is swinging her lanyard around everywhere. That would be so hilarious if you just saw someone going down the street flicking their cuppa tea around there finger. The neighbor would be like “Karen? Get the kids, we need to leave”. Imagine, that is so funny. My sister is also really interested in the smallest things so maybe she will make me teas so that she can use this? Hmm, that sounds like a plan. Imagine it just didn’t work though and one morning it just full on splats on the wall and now you have to deal with that before you even have a cup of coffee. That is quite the nightmare but I guess you gotta trust the process. Why do I want one now? Handbag? NO! Mug holder!
I have seen these last 2 products on a tiktok, so shout out to that guy, but this seems so cool and then I realize, where is the need. What you basically do is jam this into a piece of fruit and it will spray out the juices in it. Pretty solid idea to be fair, but here is my question. What do you do with the juice-less fruit. I mean wouldn’t it be easier to just get the juice in the store and then use the fruit for, I don’t know, EATING?! But I don’t want to be the boring kid who literally is a Debby downer, so I have to admit, it would be quite fun. Like you could try is for so many things. A massive strawberry, a melon, a peach! Literally anything and it is so quick. None of that funny business with the blender. Just bish bash bosh, you got yourself a fruit spray. Genius idea like, I have to be fair, but never have I ever just been like, I need two sprays of orange juice right now. And even if I did I would just eat the damn orange. Might get it though just for the bants.
Anyways, this was just a wee bit of a random post but you gotta be fair, some of these ideas are so useless that they have become so necessary. And I am not complaining. Like, comment and follow for more content like this and I will try to post again tomorrow, but you know what school is like so I will have to see how much time I have in between cryin- I mean studying. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT