I Hate To Be That Bitch But…

You guys have to agree with me when I say that a lot of things we do nowadays is heavily judged. Like there are a lot of things that people aren’t willing to admit they do because people will laugh at them and call them a basic bitch or a pick me type of person. Don’t get me wrong, there are a few things that mean that you are definitely that type of person but like some things are a bit of a stretch. So yeah, I guess I will expose myself today and show you some of the things that make me “that bitch”.

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Starbucks

Being a blonde teenage girl, I feel like I am already set up to get judged 10 times more than others because you know, I look like the dumb blonde whose only personality trait is sipping iced coffee obnoxiously loud in class. But like I do love myself a wee iced coffee. It doesn’t have to be Starbucks I guess but Starbucks is the place you usually get judged for going to. Especially on holidays when you are literally sweating your ass off and you step into the cafe with a gust of cool air hitting you and the sound of the coffee machine. It is literally so good. I don’t know why but I love the sound of the coffee machines in cafes. So you can call me a basic bitch for liking a cheeky wee Starbucks iced coffee on a nice warm day because I won’t stop for nobody PERIODT

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Water

We are kinda focusing on the drinks today aren’t we but they are important ones to mention I think. I love water. I don’t know why but like water really hits different. When you are absolutely parched, you don’t reach for a bloody coke no matter what the ads show. You go for a freaking water and that shit is amazing. Like even at a restaurant, I might be that girl who orders water. That is partially because I am broke but like I do enjoy water. But then the one time that I do get a fizzy drink or something, there will be that one adult who is like “oooh, teens and their cokes these days, can’t get them off it”. And you just stare at them like “this isn’t fucking cocaine, like I haven’t had one in ages. I don’t have a bloody mini fridge of things like other teens do”. So yeah, I guess I’m just quirky lol. Forget I ever said that last part that was a joke lol. But despite the fact people think it is boring to like drinking water and every time you get it instead of a monster energy drink you are literally shunned from the friend group. And you know what, I am not taking it any longer. You all know that water is the best.

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Dishes

This one is kind of a different one because I don’t really think that a lot of people my age will relate to this but I actually like doing the dishes. It is just like so relaxing when you are doing something while just watching something on your phone and it is nice to see the pile of dirty dishes go down and then you put stuff away and it is very visually gratifying. I always like to see the results happen you know. And I bet that some guy is gonna be in the comments like “well it’s in a woman’s nature” and to that I say shut the fuck up and I am only one woman and I know that probably a majority of us don’t like it but we aren’t gonna get all political here sorry about that. But the one thing that I hate about doing dishes is when people keep putting dirty dishes in the pile and I’m like where was the fucking need. I mean since when did you have a whole fucking IKEA in your bedroom? I also hate afterwards when you have to clean the drain and there are pieces of disgusting food at the bottom. Literally the bane of my existence. I think that one of the worst punishments would be being in a bath and there are bits like those in it and so you can feel it all over. That would be hell

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Ed Sheeran

I know this one is about to get controversial but I swear that one day Ed Sheeran was just completely cancelled and I really have no clue why. Like I see so many things saying that people who still listen to Ed Sheeran are weirdos or they wouldn’t be caught dead listening to him but like some of his music is good. I mean would I be a crazy fan girl and buy his hair on eBay? No. But do I listen to some of the absolute classics? Hell yeah. Someone please explain what he did because I don’t know why I am supposed to be embarrassed for listening to him. He is a good singer too so that can’t be it. I swear to god, if it is because he is ginger!! Literally that would be so hilarious but like it’s 2021 guys, we gotta start getting over that ok.

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I Don’t Cry at Movies

This one might seem normal at first. Like there are people who just don’t cry at some things and that’s fine, right? Well, what if I told you I didn’t tear up at “The Notebook”, “The Boy In The Stripped Pajamas” or “Marley and Me” but I did cry at “Moana”, “Inside Out” and “Little Women”. Yup, kinda a weird mix. And you know the 3 that I just said I cried at, those are the ONLY movies I have ever cried at. Well, excluding the time I probably cried at bob the builder because I was forced to watch it over and over as a baby. Bob the builder is such a show though you have to admit. But no, everyone says I have a heart of stone because while they are over there buried in tissues, I’m in the corner making fun of them. You do have to admit though, whenever Moana’s grandma dies it is so fucking sad and then when she comes back as a fucking fish and starts singing. Moana could have sailed in my tears bitch.

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Anyways, I think that is all that I will mention for today. Don’t forget to leave a comment if you relate to any of these things or if you do things that others may judge you about. We probably all do it so like don’t even be worrying and even if we don’t, there is no judgment here. But yeah, like, follow and comment if you enjoyed this content and, if you can, feel free to donate some money in the box down below to help the blog keep going. Anything is appreciated. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Things That Make Me Feel Stupid (well, more than usual)

We love a good self-deprecating post. It is kinda fun though because it is easy and I can say anything I want about myself and I won’t offend anyone, unless you are literally the exact same as me. Multiverse?! But yeah, some of these things are kinda basic but, being a person with a typical low self esteem, I feel a lot of things make me feel stupid. I’ll only list a few things today though so I don’t make myself look like an actual idiot. This is just for the lols as well guys so don’t get too offended or like anything like that.

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Paint-by-numbers

Can You Color Inside the Lines? Yes No What Did You Expect ...

This one doesn’t make me feel so much as stupid as it does untalented. Like I really have 0 talents and it shines through in paint by numbers. My mum got me one and it is really fun and I enjoy it like, but I don’t know if my hands are too shaky but I can not keep it neat and I can’t keep it even either, like you can tell there is more paint in some parts. I can also tell that art is not my strong point because I just can’t figure out how much paint I need for a certain bit and I end up getting none on my brush for a big section and then literally the whole wee tub for a tiny section. You do have to admit though it can be quite hard when you have the little bits and, me already being quite blind, has to go right up to the picture as though I am freaking lying down or some shit. Do you guys get that in school where you like realise that when you are writing your face gets so close to the table and you are like when the fuck did that happen. I always find that and get super embarrassed because there really is no need for me to do that.

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Another thing about paint-by-numbers that I know every fucking one of you understands is how hard it is to open the lids of the paint. Like they are so tiny and literally hurt and you are scared it is just going to go flying everywhere when you do. I am better than a few years ago I must say but like some are so hard and I really do feel defeated by a piece of plastic. It defo fits into the same category as that other packaging that knives or scissors are in and can only be cut with knives and scissors so you are screwed because the thing you need to open it is the thing that you are trying to get out. As you can tell, this is quite a passionate topic for me

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Conversations

How to talk to people | Steven Universe | Know Your Meme

This happened like literally 10 times yesterday and I know a lot of you guys, if not everyone, will feel the same way. There are a few things withing this category that I want to mention, the first being that you can’t understand what the person is saying and you ask them again and again and eventually just go off their cues. Like I had asked my friend to repeat herself twice already and then I saw she smiled so I was like “aha oh really” and like nodded my head and smiled. She could have been saying absolutely anything and I would have no clue. Then you just awkwardly stop talking because you don’t know what to say after and you spend the rest of the day trying to figure out what they say. And sometime when this happens and you think they said something but you are like what does that mean so you say what you think they said out loud and they are like what the fuck that isn’t what I said lol and then when you hear yourself say it you realise you are so dumb and it was so obvious. Like say my friend was talking about cinema’s or whatever and I was like “who’s cinema” and then I would be like that was so stupid. That was actually the worst example I could have used lol but we move.

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Another thing that makes me feel stupid is when you are having a conversation and you either can’t pay attention to what they are saying for some reason or you can’t keep track of it and despite the fact you were listening, you don’t know where that part of the convo came in. It is so hard though whenever you can’t pay attention to someone who is talking but you want to and then you are thinking too much about trying to listen that you can’t actually remember what they just said but now they are asking you a question that gives no indication of what we were talking about like “what do you think” and you just panic. That literally happened to me at my job interview and I nearly shit myself. And then when you get into the position of not understanding when that part of the convo went in and you have to ask so many questions that they probably just explained like “so what was that cat? Whose was it? When and where did you find it?” And you realise you just asked the whole fucking backstory that doesn’t even matter and then sometimes you still don’t know what they are on about

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Drinking

The best sobriety memes : stopdrinking

When I say drinking, I don’t mean like alcohol or whatever, I just mean the action of drinking. I just can never seem to understand basic physics in the moment I am drinking from a bottle. The number of times I drank too much and had to literally drown for a second so I didn’t spit anything out is actually ridiculous. It happened so much on online school too because my camera was off, luckily, and I was bored as fuck so I would just be looking into space and the only thing I could do was drink more water and then I just didn’t grasp that if I picked up the bottle quickly and brought it to my mouth then a wave of water would happen and end up going all over me. It was so humiliating despite the fact I was the only one in the room. Do you think that someone has actually died from swallowing too much water and literally not being able to breathe. It hurts to doesn’t it. And I always seem to miss my mouth when drinking out of a glass and I am like “hmm why is there water going down my top” and then I’m like oh cause I’m an idiot. What I also hate is when you just took a drink of water and someone makes a joke and you have to literally fight for your life to not spit it out everywhere. You literally look like a puffer fish and it is not ideal.

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“Child Geniuses” The TV Show

Me irl | Child genius, Student memes, Top memes

This is one of the examples where it makes me feel dumb but I am glad I’m not one of them. Like I genuinely feel bad for those kids because they defo have no friends or spend time doing normal stuff and they will become depressed and like become a hippy. That is true though. I mean great if you child is smart but like why put them in a competition that, if they doesn’t win, will make them think they are dumb but they really just aren’t. And some of the things they have to do aren’t even good for life. Even some school subjects are more useful than what they do. They have to fucking learn the order of a deck of cards and like all of the streets in London which is literally one of the hardest tests and adults struggle to do it. And the spelling bee… don’t get me started. I had to use auto-correct to spell geniuses. That is no joke. The spelling bee is better though but literally makes me feel dumb as fuck. It also cracks me up though. They are so proud of themselves and literally spell the most fucked up words. Iridocyclitis

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Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this post and if you did don’t forget to like, follow and comment what else makes you feel stupid and see if anyone else can relate. But yeah, I’m going to go a do things that make me feel a bit smarter than usual like watching Dora the explora. I can always find the things before she does, lazy bitch. But yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow for even more. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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Read some more posts

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My Honest Opinion On Public Transport | Hint – NOT Ideal

I feel like a common theme with my content and the titles is that they all seem like I am about to go into some political talk as though I am about to rant about taxes or other Karen shit, but like it really isn’t, so I don’t know if I attract the wrong audience with it. I can imagine a bunch of middle aged women getting their hair pumped up at the back, like the typical Karen’s do, and getting ready to take notes on the topic so they too can complain about public transport or some shit. And if that does happen to be you, you are gonna be disappointed because it is just my opinion and for a bit of a laugh. I do honestly think public transport is great because of global warming and all that, but like that is the most political thing I am gonna be saying in this post so like I’m sorry to disappoint I suppose lol. I’m gonna go through each form 1 by 1 just because… well I don’t know why but I just am and I don’t know why I am telling you but lets just roll with it.

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Trains

In all honesty, I love a good train. I think it is my favorite form because it is more relaxed kind of but still not very relaxed. I don’t know why though but they stress the shit out of me and I actually do know why so let me explain. I hope I don’t sound insane, but I also feel the same way about roller coasters which is that I kinda forget that a human controls them and they aren’t just on a time limit. And what I mean by that is that when I go on a roller coaster I get really stressed that the people aren’t going to get to me quick enough so they won’t be able to check my harness, when in reality, they control it and only start it when everyone is on. It isn’t like they have to get it all done in 5 minutes and if somebody isn’t strapped in right then that’s too bad. I feel the same way about the train too, so I feel that if the people getting in first take too long, they will just shut the doors and leave but like people control it so they wouldn’t do that unless they were like bunged up. So that is kinda stressful I suppose.

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These are good though because they are quick and usually not too disgusting and they are quick too. Kinda nice vibes as well ad make you feel kinda grown up but like I wouldn’t be wanting to go on at night because, as a woman, I don’t think that would end well for me but like oh well. I think I made another post not long ago talking about how the train conductors are also really scary usually and act as though they have been pissed off since the day they were born, but like you just ignore them I guess and you are fine. Sometimes you can get lucky where they don’t get to you in time so you don’t have to pay and that is an added bonus like. Another thing I also get stressed about is getting onto the train and also just the train platform. I remember the first time I went on the train alone and my mum was waiting at the platform until the train left and she was in front of the yellow line and I was so panicked even when the train wasn’t moving. I was acting as though she was about to get sucked under the train just because she was close to it. I still kinda get scared of that. And when you get onto the train and have to walk over the gap to get in, I always feel as though, somehow, my phone or whatever I am holding, is going to fall in and then I will never get it back. I don’t always feel like I will fall in, but like I have to hold onto everything for dear life because I think it is somehow going to propel itself under the train. How embarrassing would that be if I did though. I always feel like I left something on the train too even when I literally didn’t bring anything onto it lol.

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Bus

This is hands down my least favourite public transport. Like what the actual fuck I hate it so much. It is stressful enough when I have to get on it to go to school because I feel like I will get on the wrong one and end up in Russia or some shit. And the time table, like I just don’t trust it. You have to make sure that you get on the right one and when you do there are barely any seats so you have to end up sitting or standing next to the druggy who smells like actual shit. And even if you do get a seat they are always so dirty and infested with like 100 different viruses. It is so stressful as well when you get on and they just start moving the bus when you are still paying or just getting to your seat and you are literally flailing everywhere. It’s as though your drunk or something and they always suddenly stop and send you flying into someone. I always get scared that they will not stop at my stop for some reason.

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My school bus for going home is literally shit. There are no seats, there are first years running around and shouting everywhere and you can’t even tell them to shut the fuck up, the drivers have anger issues and they sometimes put up the wrong fucking number so they drive a different way and you are like am I getting kidnapped lol. And if they do take the right way at the start, they fucking miss the last stop and we are like “umm where are you going” and they act as though they don’t know shit and are like “where was I supposed to go” and then take a bloody one hour detour just to turn around. It is so stressful and packed and they never have the heaters on in winter but in summer they seem to work and the air conditioning is broken. I hate buses with a passion and I always will

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Taxi

I don’t really know if they are included in the public transport category but they need mentioned anyways. They aren’t too bad like but why does it have to be so awkward and expensive and also kinda embarrassing when you have to take one because you were late to school. When you get one you have to sit there awkwardly or just engage in small talk that makes you want to pull your eyeballs out. The people driving are usually quite nice though and the actual car is nice and clean which is a good touch. I don’t live in New York so like these aren’t any crappy yellow ones. You have to call the company to send someone over and they are nice and all so that isn’t the bad part but why the fuck are they so bloody expensive. Like I guess you have to pay for gas and it is more private but like for fuck sake. You just look at the meter going up every second and you get a fucking heart attack. Sitting in traffic wondering if you can afford to get home. Like what if you don’t have enough money to pay for it all because it is more than expected? Do you just walk away or what

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I remember in primary school we went in taxis to go to things like swimming and school trips and we thought we were the bees knees. Especially if the teacher didn’t go in your car and it was just your mates and the driver. There was this one time though when it was just me, my friends and the driver and we got in and the teachers were taking role or whatever and then our driver just drove straight away because the car was full and we were like what the fuck because nobody else had left. The guy was really nice but like on the edge of scary but like he did get us to the place but then 10 minutes after, our teacher finally got there and was like what the fuck because she though we were getting kidnapped or some shit because she didn’t tell the driver to go yet. Kinda fun times I suppose. You would have to be dumb to kidnap someone in a taxi though, pretty obvious like.

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Planes

I do love a good plane, don’t get me wrong. I mean I love the vibes, it is quiet and you can relax. It is quick and you get the best shows in the world, the safety briefing. But what the fuck is up with the food. Who pissed off the cooks to make them prepare this. I don’t mind the snacks and stuff like the muffins or tea because those are fine, but like I remember I was flying over to america from Northern Ireland and I had pasta or something and it was absolutely awful. Just the texture was so bad. It was all one texture and that was slimy. The chicken was literally rank, the pasta was near dripping and I got off the plane feeling like shit. The people on the plane were kinda cheeky and stuck up though but it might just be because it as a long flight or there were annoying customers, but even at the start you could tell they wanted to throw you out the plane. The first movie is always the most exciting because you are like “ooh, I’m watching a movie in the air on the way to holiday, how fun” but after you are all cramped, you are bored, always interrupted, you need to pee but don’t want to go past anyone and you still have hours left. So while I do prefer a plane to a boat, they can get a bit old very quickly. They are more relaxed though especially when at the airport because you have you plain time called every hour, there is a clear sign about it, there are shops that are way over priced but good for looking around and it is honestly a vibe. I love people watching, not in a creepy way, so it is cool to see how people are literally going everywhere in the world. And if you just sit at the seats near your terminal, you will be sure to never miss your plane, so good times all around.

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I remember the first time that I went on a plane without my parents and it was just me and my twin going over to England. The flight over was totally fine and kinda fun, but on the way back I was near in tears because, as you may know, I am quite the anxious person and we had gotten to our terminal with pretty much no bother and when we got there we sat for a bit and this guy was coming around checking the size of peoples bags. Ours had gotten through before so we were like we’ll be fine. Spoiler alert, we weren’t. It was the same airline, the same bags, the same stuff in it and the bag wouldn’t go in by like 1 mm. And I was like, we are never gonna get on this plane, we are going to be stranded here, I am never going to see my family again and the worker was talking about how it was too big and I was like but it got in before and he was like “not it didn’t” and I was like “bitch yes the fuck it did” and then he started talking about having to pay £30 to get it on the plane and I was like “we don’t have that much money with us” because we had just finished our trip and hadn’t brought much in the first place. And by that point I was panicking a lot inside and could only hear more about having to pay and i kept just saying “we can’t do that. We can’t afford that” and apparently by that point he was explaining that is what you normally had to do but he would let us off, so I defo looked like I was hiding something when in reality I was literally dying inside. That has traumatised me a wee bit, but as long as I just go with someone else for the rest of my life, I should be fine.

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Anyways, I would talk a bit about boats but like, in summary, they are boring and scary, so there you go. I also feel like I have gone on long enough and I am boring myself. But please comment down below if you liked this and whether you feel the same way or have had another bad experience to tell. Don’t forget to like and follow for even more content like this and to check out my other posts. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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It’s All About Perspective

Ok guys, we aren’t about to get into some existential shit today because I don’t think I can take that at the moment, but I guess it kinda will be but like to a certain extent, so kinda just be warned about that but lets get started into it. This is another weekly reminder post but I am going to make it around the same vibe as my other posts because I find it hard to… write like I care. That sounds really mean but what I mean by that is that I struggle to not cringe when I try to write a post in an empathetic tone. I know I am disappointing my English teacher at the moment but like I don’t give a shit anyways. So sorry if you prefer reading things that are kinda sad, but I use humor to cope despite the fact my humor is crap so that isn’t the best but like we move. I also don’t know why I am typing all of this because I can guarantee that you don’t give a fuck. But yeah, I feel that when I try to write a post with an empathetic tone, I sound so fake, kinda like all the people in my school. Lets get into it anyways

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I saw this TikTok video yesterday and it was this girl that was replying to a comment that said “how are you so confident” and if I knew who that girl was I would shout her out but I don’t so like deal with it, but anyways, she was so… como se dice… perfect. Like she was a nice confident where she is outgoing but wouldn’t be like “fuck you” to every person who breathes near her. Anyways, that is besides the point, but she literally just said “because nobody fucking cares! In a couple of hundred years everyone on this earth will literally be dead and nobody will remember that thing you said or the clothes you wore or anything because it won’t carry on once we all die”. I mean unless you do something so awful like a proper historical downfall, you shouldn’t change for anyone. Like that person you are changing yourself for is gonna die and so are you so why are you trying to do something for them when eventually it won’t matter at all and you should live the life that you want when you have it.

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I always get a wee bit scared when I talk about doing whatever you want because it won’t mean shit in the future because I always feel people are going to use that as a reason for like killing someone or just doing something awful because “it won’t matter” but like don’t think I am saying that. I don’t want to be responsible for murder, but like you know what I mean. It is the things like caring what other people think about you and stuff like that. Trying to make others happy before yourself and that shit. We are all guilty of doing this and that’s fine because that is what we have learned and it isn’t our fault, but it is also ok because we can fix it, as long as it is for yourself. That is kinda why I like being single at this stage. I mean having someone that actually likes you must be nice, but I like the fact that I am free to fully figure myself out and think about myself as an individual and if a relationship comes from that then it is perfect. But from past experiences I know that having a partner can be kinda restrictive and, at least in my position, I always changed myself to be perfect for him and to not be myself. Maybe if you have a healthy relationship then that is different, but you need to think carefully about who you are with.

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And also, literally if that person remembers it for the rest of their life, maybe they laugh about how you panicked in a school play until the day they die, then that is only one life and you should move on with it because they will die one day and that is it. It won’t become a family tradition to carry on this story. And the embarrassing thing you did, you aren’t the first person to do that. I mean the earth is millions of years old and even in just the past 100 years, there have probably been millions of people that have done the same as you. What you also need to remind yourself is that if someone actually does hang onto that one thing you did ages ago and makes fun of it, they have no fucking life. I mean would a person who actually mattered focus on that thing everyday or would they move on with life and all the opportunities they will come to have. And the people who remember it and therefore have no life, shouldn’t worry you because it doesn’t make you less than them and you know the only reason they remember that is because they have made it their whole personality trait and that is the only bit of information they can actually keep in their pea sized brain.

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So yeah, I hope this boosted your confidence in some way and that you can come to terms with the reality of life and how eventually, just like humans, rumors will die. Stories die and you aren’t weird or dumb for what you did. But yeah, just don’t give a shit and you will be good I guess. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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To All The TikTokers That Are Fighting Each Other…

Lately, since the whole Logan Paul and KSI fight or whoever it was, all tiktokers and youtubers have literally been fighting for no fucking reason. I mean at the start it was fun you know, like it was new and exciting, like a relationship. But also like a relationship, they get old and you realise the person you are with is quite stupid and irrelevant. You start to realise they are not actually interesting and you only liked them when it was new but now you realise they are not all that they seem. Who the fuck can actually keep up with all the fights going on? Like honestly I feel like I am back in primary school watch two kids flail their arms at each other and crying. Like it is really embarrassing and not the big of a deal. So what you can beat up another guy from the street? That literally doesn’t prove anything other than the fact you have no life so waste all your time training to win some shit contest.

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To be honest though, I have grown to respect Logan Paul more because his brother, Jake Paul, is an actual twat. What the fuck was the whole “gotcha hat” shit. I mean where was the need? What mental health issues do you have to think that people would respect you for that? And then it meant he couldn’t watch his brothers match which he trained a lot for. I mean I still don’t watch Logan Paul because I am not a 10 year old boy, but at least he is more mature. And don’t even get me fucking started on fucking Bryce Hall! Like it frustrates me so much for some reason. He really thinks he is the bees knees and when he literally stuck up his middle fingers at the guy he was going to fight, it literally looked like he was going to shit himself, like literally shit himself. It just bugs me so much how they think people really care that much.

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To be honest, I don’t even know a lot of the people who are fighting and that kinda just shows they are doing it for the publicity. It’s hardly like if Bryce won I would be like “yes, absolute dream boy I love him” because no, he is still a bad person. Like I don’t like him. When will they stop though for real. They aren’t professional and although I respect the determination, why don’t you just handle it some other way other than just making a fool of yourself. Just go back to the dis-tracks because at least those were funny and say what we all were thinking. Nobody cares if you can beat someone up or knock someone down when they are off guard and you look like a target employee, like literally grow up please. And I do know this will really annoy some people, mostly 10 year old kids, but like they are so annoying and it doesn’t get them anywhere. Why don’t they fight a real boxer who isn’t retired instead of either retired boxers, wrestlers or just random influencers. Make it make sense please.

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Do you know what does crack me up about it though? The fact that they really think they are doing something! They really think they are adored and hilarious. Their egos are built up so high that people are beginning to climb up it and put fucking flags at the top. They really don’t need that. They think that whoever can scream the loudest and get their face closest to the camera are elite. They walk around as though they are about to take someones lunch money but I honestly think if they came up to me I could literally flick them and they would explode. End of the world? And at the interview after they act as though they didn’t just beat up a retired or unprofessional man. Like you really didn’t do much. They try to act like the pros as well. Jake Paul really does be trying to be Conor Mcgregor and it could be a comedy skit, no joke. To be fair, the acting is good but it is fucking obvious, so maybe get your own personality for once.

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And just incase Jack Paul, Bryce Hall and whoever is dragged into this shit (apart from KSI and stuff who are actually respectful) reads this and gets worked up about it. I ain’t gonna fight you. Like you are defo gonna come to my house and start something but I don’t give a flying fuck bitch. I kinda hope they do read this though because that would be hilarious in all honesty. Watch them come out with a sad video called “I’m taking a mental health break” as though we are about to fall in love with them.

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Anyways, this was kind of an immature post but I feel like I just needed it off my chest and that other’s will probably relate to it as well, but make sure to like, comment and follow if you enjoyed this and want more comedy content like this. Check out some of my other posts that are a bit different to this one and I will see you again tomorrow with a new post. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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Could I Be Bothered? | Part 4

I feel like a lot of people will understand me when I say that there are things that people can literally just talk about and that makes you feel exhausted or just unmotivated to do that thing despite the fact you aren’t even going to do it but the thought of it is so horrible you want to cry? That is a bit of a weird introduction but you know what I mean, right? Like if someone was like “oh my god do you remember that time you went kayaking for ages and your arms and legs and everything were exhausted and then you had to do a 10K walk afterwards?” By the way, that was targeted at my dad and I am still mentally recovering from it. But whenever I remember that it is as if I get PTSD from it and literally get so scared at the thought that I did that. I don’t really know where I am going with this intro but I am going to stop now and we can start talking about things that make me physically and mentally fed up.

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Camping

Funny Camping Memes 2020 - Run Bryan Run

As a white family, we did some messed up shit. Like that might sound racist but I have seen videos of POC who are like “white people are messed up” and I agree with that because my family just be going outside in the middle of nowhere to shit in a fucking forest and sleep with the bloody insects. We used to do this a lot and I guess it was fun with my friends but like now that I have half a brain and am not made to enjoy things, I really do hate camping. I’m sorry but I just don’t see the point. You gotta pack and carry a bunch of shit and bring in to the middle of nowhere or go to a cramped site with a bunch of kids screaming and people being actually active and going on walks at like 5 in the morning and, while there are toilets, they are so stinking I feel like I contracted 10 diseases just by washing my hands. To be fair, I don’t mind if I set up a tent in my back garden, but if you expect me to bring fucking sleeping bags and a fire starter, I will in fact run away. So I can not be bothered to go camping. I would prefer to look at the stars from the comfort of my bed, looking through the window or standing outside for a sec while the kettle is on thank you very much.

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Small Talk

SMALL TALK MEMES image memes at relatably.com

I’m sorry but we need to normalise going straight to the deep stuff. And that doesn’t mean “what is your star sign” because at that point I would walk away, but I mean instead of being like “the weather is crap today isn’t it lol”, why can’t we just be like “What is your favorite childhood memory”. I know that sounds creepy as fuck and I definitely wouldn’t just go up to someone and say that, but like I hate small talk. It is so cringey and awkward and it very rarely leads to anything. We can hardly go like “yeah the weather is crap, but do you know what else is crap? The cats movie” and then go off on a whole tangent because to me it seems desperate. It is also awkward starting off small talk. I know it is kinda just to fill in the awkward silence but I honestly hate starting a small talk convo because you just be like “sooo… how are you” like what the fuck is that.

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Raising a Child

Memebase - raising kids - All Your Memes In Our Base ...

To be fair, I am a wee bit away from this happening to me… I hope, and my mind will probably change but does it not sound so scary to have to push a fucking human out and then one day they just kick you out of hospital and you and whoever your partner is are just standing like, what the fuck do we do now. This is the start of their fucking life. There isn’t a big change in the world, sparkles and rainbows don’t magically appear. You have to somehow understand what the baby wants by its crying, unless you are one of those people who can somehow communicate with babies or whatever harry potter, 6th sense, fairy-tale shit you have. And I’m really sorry if I am freaking out some pregnant person out there, I am sure you will be great, but like it could not be me. You need to make sure they are fed, they are breathing, they sleep, they shit everywhere, they get bored, they cry, they live. They are a freaking tiny human and you are making up a personality and a life for this baby. It sounds awesome but like what if they turn out like a prick. What if your child is a prick or just really annoying and creepy and now you have a literal annoying person living with you and if you say anything, they turn into rebellious teens and you are just waiting until they turn 18 but that is a long fucking time. But yeah, good luck to all the parents aren’t there. At least society takes most of the blame for how mentally fucked they have become 🙂

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Not Wearing Face Masks

25 Funny Face Mask Memes | The Funny Beaver

Despite the fact a lot of people are so dramatic with face masks and literally complain every second about how they “can’t breathe” or “this is so uncomfortable”, I kinda am going to be screwed when we don’t have to wear them anymore because I do weird things with my mouth when my mask is on. I have a habit of doing that weird awkward smile all the time or just sticking my tongue out a wee tiny bit for absolutely no reason and also making tiny noises, but when I take it off I will have to remember that people can see my face and the weird shit I do with it and sometimes I can be quite expressive so what if in school someone I hate is talking shit and I just look at them with disgust and then see that I am silently judging them! I defo will be exposed but I think I’m ready for it. I don’t know why but I always feel ready to throw hands at an annoying person if I needed to or just talk shit for a straight hour. Maybe if it leads to that, I can get some of my anger out and it will get better, yay! Watch me look at everyone with a rude face and start fights everywhere lmao.

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Working In The Hospital

Funny-Doctors-Medical-Memes | Bored Panda

I was gonna say working as a doctor, but I feel like it doesn’t give the other’s justice because I don’t think I could do any of their jobs. Like, when I was at hospital, the nurses were always so lovely and kind even though they had 10 old people arguing about the TV, 5 kids throwing up, 3 doctors ordering them to do things at a time and a partridge in a pear tree. They really do the most and are still happy but I cry if I burn my toast in the morning. That is a different type of hurt though. I am also watching grey’s anatomy at the moment and, firstly it is awesome, but secondly, what the actual fuck. They just all seem to know everything. This guy could come in and cough once and they would be like “oh my god he has supercalifragilisticfeefifofumI’mgettingrippedtonight. And then they know how to fix it. How do they remember all that! Seriously though can any medical person please say how you know it all instantly and stay calm when you have to save people from near death and you know every detail and name of things. It couldn’t be me. I would get stuck on how to pronounce a word and then not realise my patient is literally having a seizure right next to me. I respect you guys honestly. I also want to know if you actually do literal 48 hour shifts! Is that not literally kinda bad for you and also having to diagnose people. Do you not just cry at every single patient you see. Could not be me but thank you for volunteering as tribute *wistles*

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Anyways, that’s all I can be bothered with today in all honesty. Here’s a bonus. Can I be bothered to do more? No, so yeah. But please do comment below if you have anything else to add, I always love seeing what you have to say, and make sure to like and follow for more. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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The Audacity

Hey guys, so if you have read my blog before, you will know that I have a twin sister. We have pretty much the same friend group but there are a few people that she would be more friendly with than me because… well, I’m a socially awkward kinda bitch. But the reason the title … Continue reading The Audacity

Guess Whose Back!

Bro, obviously it’s me but I just needed something a bit more exciting as the title because I don’t think many people would click on “Sorry I have posted the last few days, I was busy” so yeah, if you guessed right then well done, but if not then I hope for you sake that … Continue reading Guess Whose Back!

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And You Did This For What?

I think we all related to this title a bit too much when you first read it. I know that whoever clicked on this was like “this shit about to be good” and it is because I am going to tell you about a few times that I have asked that question in my head and I am pretty sure you will be able to relate to at least a few of these, and if for some reason you don’t, you either don’t have any siblings or you are a foetus and haven’t experienced the world yet. So lets get started shall we.

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Are you in a bad mood?

Donttouchmynewtonballs When You're in a Really Bad Mood ...

This one needs a bit of context but you can probably understand what I mean already. I hate whenever you are just having an overall bad day and you just feel a bit low and can’t be arsed to do anything or act nice all the time and then your parents go ahead and say “why are you in a bad mood”. I don’t know if they don’t understand but it sound so freaking condescending and I wasn’t in a “bad mood”, I was having a bad day and they are not the same thing. Just because we may not be smiling 100% off the time, it doesn’t mean we are a full on annoying teen. To be honest, I get annoyed whenever they mention mood at all. Like if they were like “hows the mood today” and you just look at them like, was it that hard to just say how are you. I don’t know if that is just me but it ruins the already depressing day. Just because I am a teen it doesn’t mean that I am grumpy every time I am quiet. I rest my case bitch.

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Looking at your phone

24 Hilarious Cell Phone Memes

You know when you are sitting next to someone and you are just on your phone cause your bored as fuck and then they have audacity to just watch everything you are doing and they try to fucking hide the fact they are spying on you but like you aren’t dumb so you can tell they are side-eyeing you. Like I don’t know why but it stresses me out so much and I don’t want to do anything because if I look up at them or move my phone so they can’t see it, they get offended. Like bitch you were the one that was spying on me so don’t get offended. I don’t really mind if it is my friends or something because if I am on my phone it is for a particular reason you know, but it just aggravates me. Especially on road trips because I sit in the middle (so my sisters don’t literally kill each other) and they both are able to just stare at my phone. Even though they usually don’t, I am too scared to do anything in case they look over for even a second and then shout something like “DAMN YOUR SNAPCHATS SO DRY!!” or “Why are you playing that. That’s so boring”. That is the point where you just put down your phone and stare at them for a while until you reach the perfect moment to say “shut the fuck up” and then you go back to normal.

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Jumping out

60 Of The Best Sibling Memes Ever | Bored Panda

This one goes out to all the people with siblings who have high blood pressure from the fear that comes with walking past or through a door. It really do be scary because there will also be a 99% chance that someone is going to scare you or throw something at you. It is fun to be fair, if you are the one scaring or throwing something. But I have become very observant in my lifetime because I just scan every sound, movement and light to make sure the coast is clear. Going into my kitchen is the most dangerous place because people can hide at both sides of the door, but if you hide behind the door, I will see you because I look through the crack as I walk by. It is a skill I guess, no biggy lol. And our dog is a big give away too because he just stares at you like an idiot. Another thing is when you are sitting down and you just get the urge to annoy them. It is really weird and can lead to a lot of things. At my stage, we have moved on from attacking the other for what they do and now we kinda just stare at each other like what the fuck just happened. Sometimes, what I like to do is throw a pillow, randomly punch them on the shoulder, leave their door open and then just freestyle it you know. It is quite the fun one, unless they pick to fight back and you get scared that they actually will kill you 🙂

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“Are you…”

When Someone Asks You a Dumb Question at Work What Would ...

The last thing I want to mention today is whenever people state the fucking obvious. Like they state every fucking thing as though they have just become the dumbest people on earth. It literally angers me to just talk about it. And these people pop out of nowhere. I could be walking outside with my dog on the leash and someone would pop out from the fucking sky and be like “are you taking the dog on a walk” and you just stare at them like “no, I’m leaving the dog outside to die” Like what the fuck does it look like I’m doing. Or when you sit in a room watching the TV and they come in and are like “oh, are you watching something” and you look at them like “no actually, I am fucking blind. Can you tell me where I am?”. They literally ask the most ridiculous things too. I am sure that one of these type of people has just risen up from the depths of hell and asked “are you breathing” and then went back down laughing evilly, leaving the other person on the floor crying with anger. I can picture it now. Can people seriously not just connect the dots, it isn’t that hard bitch.

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Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed that and you related to a few of them. You have to admit though, you have been through at least 2 of these. Comment down below if you have and also feel free to tell me what you get annoyed by and I might mention you in my next post. Don’t forget to like, follow and comment if you liked this content and I will be sure to make more like this. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Weekly Reminder

Hello guys, so I have posted in like two days but don’t worry it was just for my birthday so didn’t really have much time, but I’m back now so we are good to go. And what a better way to get back into things than a weekly reminder you know. I don’t really have … Continue reading Weekly Reminder

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Going Back To “Normal”

Hey guys, so I haven’t really posted on here in a wee bit but like life happens so deal with it. Anyways, I guess I just wanted to just talk about how today I am kind of transitioning back into a normal, pre-covid, life. And what is it that I am doing you might ask? Well, I am going to be going back to Ju-Jitsu for the first time in forever which is kind of fun but at this point I don’t even know if I am interested in going and that could be because it has been a while or it could also be my mental state lol. A large portion of it is also not being able to body slam people and knock the shit out of them. You don’t really do that in Ju-Jitsu anyways, but like I did karate before and there were fights that you could do and it was actually quite fun. I think the only reason I stopped that was because it was becoming very serious for me and they wanted to put me in world championships and that shit but I am quite a home-bird and also that was around the time I started first year and my mental health was… declining. So yeah, in another world you could have been watching me knock the shit out of someone on the Olympics, but that would be women’s sports so I guess it isn’t that big. LOL THAT WAS A JOKE I SWEAR. I AM A WOMAN AND JUST MAKING FUN OF THE FACT MEN THINK WOMEN’S SPORTS IS BORING.

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But yeah, I think I tried 4 different martial arts classes in my lifetime. I also swear that when I first asked my parent’s if I could start karate I thought I was making up a word but I must have heard it from someone subconsciously and I was so freaked out when they said “sure”. I’m not sure if that was a mistake or not but I did ballet before and that was not my cuppa tea lets just say. I have a really embarrassing story from ballet but I don’t think I will ever tell you what it is. So I don’t know why I just told you that if I am not even going to tell the story lol but yeah it was embarrassing. Do you know what is funny though, and my English teacher would literally eat this up, is that I started my ‘martial arts journey’ in the leisure center and the 4th that I am in now is at the same leisure center! Cyclical structure?! I hate how I thought of that. LETS ANALYZE IT! no. I never have to do that again and I am thankful for that everyday.

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You probably aren’t wondering, but I am going to tell you, why I left each of the classes. They are pretty good stories actually so lets get started

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  1. The first place I went to was at the leisure center and it was for karate. My friend at the time went their too and I was like wow this is so fun. Except for when the grading part came (if you don’t know, this is how you go up the belts). The man that was their was so fucking creepy and there were so many people I didn’t know and the building that it was in was so sketchy and like had the worst vibes. I think a lot of my anxieties formed there. So that was one reason, and literally gave me PTSD to think about, but the other reason was because it was a small class and literally took fucking ages to move up just one belt. I think that for moving up each belt you had to do 2 gradings and then when you got to the higher belts you had to do 4 to get to the next belt. I know the black belt takes a while but like the fucking rest of them!? There was no need. So I left
  2. The second place I went to was probably one of my favorites because the people their were nice, I moved up pretty quickly because, ya know, I was a pro and all that. I stayed there a while and only left because high school really messed me up. I remember one time I literally cried when I was doing one of my gradings because I was so stressed out about everything. It was in a nice hall this time but like was still far from home and different to usual and really just set a bad vibe for the rest of the day. I liked this one a lot because they were obviously serious about it and actually did fighting and shit. There were competitions I went to and did well at and I nearly got to my brown belt I think, but I still remember the last day I went there and I was literally holding back tears and then when I got back to the car my mum was like “what’s wrong” and you know that hits different when you have been holding back tears the whole time, so then I quit. Little did I know that was only the fucking start lmao. High school was not good for me, let me tell you that. But I actually enjoyed it and fully miss it.
  3. The third place was BY FAR the worst of them all. I remember going to it and it was a fucking joke. I should have known from their logo and their fucking clown gees. It was new and my mum was like you need to go because you are good at martial arts and I was like fine and I actually hated it with a passion. They made it seem like they were so cool but they pretty much made up their own fucking martial art. These people spent 30 minutes of the 45 minutes doing warm ups and then the last 15 minutes I was having to work my way through literal fetuses doing random ass moves. They had a fucking grey belt! I might as well leave it there. They fully made up a belt and thought they were doing something. Like bitch just stop. And they would have all these literal weapons that looked like they were from an unrealistic ninja movie. I stayed there way too long and it was honestly embarrassing. People literally send their kids there and think they are gonna become a pro fighter but no, they are just gonna become a joke. So I left that place
  4. The forth place. The place I am at now. The place that I like despite a few different complications. The people there, to start, are mainly nice, but there are a select few who I… dislike strongly and would happily knock out. I am on my purple belt actually so have been there a while. The people are nice and, unlike the third place, they are official and not a joke. I am starting back today and the only reason I am not looking forward to it is that you aren’t even allowed to throw people so there quite literally will be nothing to do, but it’s fine. There are other reasons too but I think I have insulted my peers enough today.
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Anyways, that is all I can be bothered to talk about today. Lets hope it all goes well and I can control my emotions well enough. I am also not very fit after all that time off so literally watch me get the reddest face ever lmao. Are you guys starting anything normal at the moment or are a lot of your hobbies still closed? Leave your answer in the comment section below, I would love to hear what you are doing. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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The World Needs More…

The world needs more pockets. Nope, that isn’t a joke. Today I am talking about why the world needs more pockets *gets kicked out of Climate Change organisation* In all honesty though, I have a solid argument about why we need more pockets. Maybe not in the USA though. They’ll just carry more guns 😮 … Continue reading The World Needs More…

Weekly Reminder

Hi guys. This post is quite late but I am sure none of you really care about that. The truth is though, this week has been tough and I don’t want to hide that from you all because despite the fact I usually upload positive content and jokes etc. my life is not perfect. Not … Continue reading Weekly Reminder

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Do You Know What’s Weird? Languages

Me, personally, I love languages. I don’t know what it is about them but I find them so interesting because the whole world has different ways of communicating and it makes sense to people despite the fact we have absolutely no clue what they are talking about. To be fair I only know Spanish and English but still. I mean I wish I had the time or the motivation to learn more because it is so awesome, but there are also times where I just think to myself “what the fuck”.

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There was a time where there were no languages and then the next day they were just like “ok we need to come up with a way to communicate that everyone will understand” but how did they say that to each other? How did they talk about starting this and using their voices to make words. And I know that a lot of modern languages came from Latin or some shit but how did Latin come around, and if we know what that came from then how did that other language start? There was once just a person that was like ok we need to do this but how the hell. And they were the ones to create the best invention in the world because now we can communicate and thrive.

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This might sound a bit stupid but, being the dumb child I was, when I would ask how Spanish people would understand what other people were saying when speaking Spanish, my mum would say “well it’s just their language so they understand it like we do with English” and for some utter shit reason, I thought that meant that they would translate what they said into English and then translate their response back into the language they spoke and then I would be so confused as to why they couldn’t understand us when they have to translate everything into English to understand it. Obviously, I have changed now and actually love languages but how fucking dumb was that. Literally, me thinking that everything revolves around English which is actually kind of does and I feel privileged to be a fluent English speaker, but I was innocent as fuck back then.

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That kind of leads me to my next point. Why have we chosen a ‘superior language’? How did we just decide that it would be English? Now, I know that English isn’t the world’s most spoken first language but like pretty much all countries, I think, kind of make you learn English in school as if you wouldn’t succeed without it. I know that I learn languages but it isn’t as stressed as what I would think learning English would be. And English is a fucking hard language. In never fully appreciated how hard it was until a couple of years ago because before I was like “well we don’t even have an accents on our words so it isn’t even that hard” but then I realised that words are spelled and pronounced so differently that it is just ridiculous. I mean who the fuck decided there would be silent letters. Like Pterodactyl. What the fuck is that? Honestly. And then there are the rules like “I before e except after c” but then there are still words that go against that. Honestly, I would give up if I had to learn it. Wait!!! I just remembered one of the most ridiculous words in the English dictionary. Queue. This has to be a joke. You can not tell me that the only letter you pronounce is the very first one while the others are just there for show. Like how the hell is that real. As a person of the English language, I would like to formally apologize for this and I hope this hasn’t fully destroyed your love for languages.

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Are there just people who come up with languages though. That’s the thing. And how long did it take for the first speakers to start a language because I mean damn, I can barely speak the language I have known my whole life. Props to them I suppose but I only have one more question for you. Were you on literal drugs when you came up with it because god damn this shit is crazy. But yeah, I suppose that is my questions over for now about how weird languages are. I still love them to be fair but like, they are freaking weird. If anyone is reading this and has had to learn English as a second language, please comment down below and tell us what it was like to you and what other things still confuse and shock you to this day because I am sure there are many. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Job Update (It Do Be Like That Sometimes)

So guys, I didn’t get the job, but I mean it’s fine. Honestly, like it’s fine. This was my first ever one to be fair so if I was expecting results, I would be a bit dumb you know. The truth is though, I don’t know what I would have done if I did get the job. The guy would ring me and be like “hey you got the job” and then I would be like “that’s great thank you” and then it would be an awkward pause just with me on the other line like what the fuck now. And if I got the job I would most definitely be like “well fuck. I don’t actually want to work though”. People always say to look at the positives, so in this situation that is that I have an excuse to do nothing. I guess I will have to look for more work in the mean time, but like doe now I can be like “damn, I wish I could be walking back and forth between Karen’s and a boiling kitchen with heavy plates and 0 hour of sleep. I guess I will just relax and be sad about it”.

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For me, I am the type of person whose social battery can go from 100 to 0 in a second. I’m basically an iPhone battery bitch cause it changes real quick. So imagine what I would be like if I had to be crazy happy for a bit and then all of a sudden I crashed. No tip for me I guess. This would literally be me… “Hi, My name is Ally and I am going to be your server today! What can I get for you guys 🙂 Ok, so that’s 2 burg… *crashes on ground, rolls into ball, sleeps*” and the customers are like “we’ll have chips with that too”. It would be a laugh but like everyone would think I am some sort of quirky emo.

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I guess I don’t feel too bad that I didn’t get the job because literally half of the people my age applied for it. I wonder how many got it though? Lol, everyone but me. Imagine. I could never step foot in that restaurant again, not like I go there anyways but still, I would keep my distance. The thing is though, I thought the interview went quite well. Me and the guy were kinda hitting it off, in the non-relationship way, as in we chatted. We had things in common and a bit of banter you know. Toxic friendship I suppose. Nrs only real ones know. But no, he actually didn’t really ask that many questions. Maybe that was a red flag that he already found the good ones and didn’t give a shit anymore. Do you guys want a re-inaction of what the thing was like, with a bit of a twist and my inner commentary. No? Shut up, Imma do it anyways.

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So I walked in, already sweating like a pig, and the restaurant was kind of empty but like there were a few people working there. I saw one girl and she was like “just wait there for a second” and I was like ok but I don’t want a fucking seat, I want to take your fucking job, but then another waitress was like “is everything ok” and I was like “no actually, life is pretty tough at the moment beca…”, “no I meant can I help you” and then I said I was here for an interview and I sat down for a bit at a random table which was kind of awkward because it was a reserved table and I didn’t know if that was for me or if a family would walk in and just see this random sweaty girl on their seat. Oh, I would also like to clear up that the whole “is everything ok” bit from above was a joke, I didn’t do that lol. Just making sure :/ But I was just there looking awkward as fuck because I didn’t want to go on my phone because the guy defo would have come and said no right on the spot for being a lazy hoe, so I just starred into nowhere as I sat and waited for 10 mins with my CV in my dripping, shaking hand. Then the guy came and I went from 0 to 100 real fast. Like, my waitress mode was turned on to maximum bitch.

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Oh my god, this part is so embarrassing, but when we were going to the table he was saying “the hand sanitizer is there but be careful when you press down because it can squirt out a bit” and I was like ok, there is no way I could mess this up, we are fine. The thing is, I thought it just meant it splattered a bit, but no. This bitch FLEW. Like I had my hand over it a bit to catch any spray, but this hoe went right over it. And I looked so dumb, but I don’t know if he saw. Like he just told me to be careful and then I went ahead and got it everywhere anyways. I was near wetting myself because it still was kinda funny to be honest. It really defied the laws of gravity. I really don’t know how it did that you know. Maybe that was the first test and he realised I was an absolute idiot so he just decided on the spot.

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There is more to the story really, but it isn’t even that funny or important, I just basically acted over enthusiastically and agreed to what he said. I also can’t be bothered to type the rest because I am quite the tired one today, but I will post tomorrow hopefully so don’t forget to subscribe, like and comment so that I can make this my job instead. Show that bottle of hand sanitizer that I am the shit. But yeah, I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Check out more posts

My Only Summer Goal

To all my friends out there, I am sorry bitches but like this is my big goal. You are already my whole life so that’s why it isn’t a goal but of course I will still spend time with you. Or I will for as long as my mental state will let me lol. That … Continue reading My Only Summer Goal

Weekly Reminder

My last ever GCSE exam (hopefully) is on tomorrow. Pretty freaky. Didn’t really think I would make it this far. I was wanting to do one of the things where it is like after 2 years, 107 hours of study, 20 mental break downs etc. but I can’t add up all of the mental breakdowns … Continue reading Weekly Reminder

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Cancel Culture – Let’s Address This Bitch

If anybody doesn’t know what cancel culture is, let me explain it to you. Technically, it is just this thing were people ‘cancel’ (or make them unfamous) people because of something bad they said in their lifetime. And you might be saying “well I mean that doesn’t sound too bad” but let me tell you a bit more. The types of things they use as evidence to cancel said person would literally be from when they were literally kids. So if, somehow, a video got out of them pronouncing the word “gay” wrong when they were first learning to talk, they would take that and be like “cancel this hoe, she doesn’t respect the LGBTQIA+ community” and then their whole career goes down the drain. Basically the people who support cancel culture are the so called “snow flake” generation. And that I agree with. The only cancelling I will agree with is cancelling cancel culture.

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What is so aggravating about it is that the person could have completely changed from what they had been like 10 years ago and they would still be cancelled. I could be cancelled for this post because of the fact I think cancelling people for what they said years back is bad, but like people change bitch. Unless they said it the other day and don’t actually regret it, get over it because we all make mistakes. The things I have seen people have to apologize for are actually ridiculous. There was this one hilarious video I had watched, I forget what it was about, but it was so funny. It was by Spencerwuah I think, and it was the tiniest thing about literally nothing and people in the comments were like “oh my god I can’t believe you just said that” “address it” “oh my god some people are just so awful” and there are points where you actually think it’s a joke but it isn’t and your like who the fuck hurt you to be so sensitive.

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People’s whole career’s get ruined for it too. Like when we are kids our parent’s tell us things and we believe them because we don’t know what else to think, like we haven’t made our own opinions yet. And then later on in life people learn that maybe their opinion isn’t right and so they change who they used to be, but people don’t like to see that. No matter how much they apologize, their career that they once loved has just disappeared. Now don’t get me wrong, there are some things that aren’t ok such as recent discoveries about James Charles and Shane Dawson being actual pedophiles, but like that is a literal crime and absolutely disgusting and it is recent with actual evidence that they did it. But like for other times, people really do just twist words. And they also just don’t give them a chance to defend themselves or correct themselves. Kind of like if one time they misgender someone and then they are like “Oh sorry, what are your pronouns?”, all the cancel culture bitches will be like “don’t try to make yourself look like the victim you are so close minded” when in reality they just made a mistake.

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So just to finish I suppose, cancel culture needs to be cancelled because people change and some of the evidence you use to prove your point is ridiculous. But don’t get me wrong, if there are pedophilia charges or rape charges, those people don’t deserve to have freedom, but if it is something from 10 million years ago, they have probably changed so get your dramatic, pasty Karen ass out of here because we don’t wanna hear it. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself (unless you are a pedophile or rapist) PERIODT


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My Honest Interview Answers

Hi guys, so as some of you will already know, I have my first ever interview tomorrow. And I am shitting it to say the least. It has caused me to have many a breakdown and freaking out about what I should say about the generic questions and whether or not I would end up completely fucking it up because I accidentally tell the truth. I mean you do kinda have to make white lies in an interview or to slightly bend the truth, but to get all the thoughts about saying something wrong our of my head, I am gonna spill them here and if the interview guy is reading this, it is all a joke :/

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Tell me about yourself

I’m a chronically awkward bitch who likes to people please and in the event of a customer or staff members slight change in tone, I will have a breakdown. But that doesn’t mean I won’t throw hands if a Karen act’s up. I can remember stuff kind of well but if there is a silence for even 1 millisecond, my face will light up bright red. I can get overwhelmed but that isn’t knew to me. I have a twin and an older sister, one of which I am pretty sure has anger issues and the other is alright I guess but I am always the peace maker between them and that means I have to sit in the middle of the car. I would count that as one of my trauma’s. I can either be very energetic, or I won’t be able to move a muscle. If you hire me, I may or may not be the most awkward person you will meet until you get to know me. Then you will realise I am a ‘unique’ person.

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Why do you want this job?

I don’t. To tell you the truth like. I mean I will get paid though won’t I? That is literally the only reason I am here right now but even if I get hired, I might just leave because I think everyone hates me. I guess I also want tips, as in cash, not like training or anything like that. Although if you have any tips on how to enjoy life, that would be great. I also kinda need this job because it is the socially acceptable age to get a job like this and if I don’t get one I will be broke and also judged, so not too different from now, but like I want to keep it at the same level

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What is your biggest weakness?

ahhaha, I think the easier question would be “what isn’t your biggest weakness” because we could be here for days. But let’s see… hmm… oooh this ones my favorite. You see, I do this thing where I feel as though I don’t belong here and that everyone hates me and wishes I wasn’t there. Also, I sometimes speak really fast or slur my words and I also can’t write that fast or that well, so the cooks might have a bit of a problem with that. I also don’t take criticism well so if I do something wrong, I may or may not cry or never speak ever again. I also have a tendency to not make friends because I think they all hate me, think I am weird, don’t want me there and I also am very much awful at small talk. Do you want anymore?

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Why should we pick you?

I have no clue bitch, but if you need a reason not to pick me, ask my ex because he seemed to have a lot of reasons to treat me like shit. Also, if you do pick me, I will think that you did that by accident and that the other people who didn’t get it now hate me. Also I will panic a lot and although I will work very hard, I will be shaking so much that I don’t think I could carry out any plates or drinks. I also can’t do math all that well if I don’t have a calculator. And if you don’t hire me, I don’t think I can ever go back here again because I will be highly embarrassed so you would loose a customer as well

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Tell me about a time you have been in a stressful situation?

Oh, so my life story? Ok, well it all started the day I was born… 5 hours later… and here I am pissing myself because I realised that I just told you every single memory I have and you guys have actually left I just realised so now I am talking to a wall. Oh, and the lights just turned off so I guess I am the last one here. Why am I still talking to myself?

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Do you have any questions you would like to ask us?

Yes actually. What am I applying for again?

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Anyways, thank you guys for reading this post, I hope you enjoyed it. It was kind of a piss take but like that is honestly what I would say. Wish me luck for my interview and hopefully I don’t say anything like I just did above. Tell me about what your first interview was like. Did you make any mistakes, or panic or any more bad experiences? Write them in the comment section below. I can’t wait to read them. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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Where Is The Back Button On Life? I Need Out Of This Bitch

This is not a drill guys! I was called yesterday by a manager of a restaurant I applied for and he booked me in for an interview on Monday. Bitch when I tell you I am shitting myself, I am quite literally shitting it. I mean did I apply for it? Yes. But it is all too real now. They are all gonna judge me and be like what is this bitch doing. And if I even get the job, I won’t be able to make friends with the other staff cause I can’t even socialize! Like I am going to be so out of place and I literally won’t be able to get everyone’s food on time or hold all the plates or talk or write down quickly. I hope they got tablets for us because I don’t think anyone could understand my writing. I have a literal doctor’s handwriting after a 24 hour shift and 200 pages signed. Like it really is that bad.

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I don’t know why I am freaking out already though because I haven’t even got the job and it isn’t until Monday that I have the interview, but this is my first ever one. I don’t know what to wear and like what if I dress up too much or too little. What if I can’t hear what they are saying and I have to do that awkward shit where you ask them to say that again for the 5th time. Or what if they ask me a stupid fucking question that I didn’t prepare for and it is just me staring at them awkwardly like “oh shit”. I don’t think I am cut out to be a waitress in all honesty. I had always been excited to start a job and earn some money, but now that there is a chance that could happen, I don’t want it anymore. I am happy to just live on the streets. I’ll sneak onto a cruise and go across the world. Or maybe I will make friends with some rich old man who will let me live on his boat and when he dies I can just sail away and never have to work. To be fair though, I am looking forward to tips though, and also if there are Karen’s I can actually say something, to an extent I guess. Because when you hear them in a restaurant you literally want to shout over to them and say “watch your mouth bitch. It isn’t their fault that they don’t serve your great grandma’s famous cheese sauce”. I won’t be able to say that but like I can say something a bit passive aggressive and slabber about it later.

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What I also can’t stand the thought of is being the new girl. Like what if they call me newbie for the rest of my life or if I make a mistake they will call me something like… I don’t know a nickname for that but you get what I mean. I am not ready for that. They will all have their friends already too so I will just be that awkward girl who is sweating profusely and being really quiet. I don’t want that. They could all be chavs too or like really annoying and it would be so awkward if it was just me and one other person just staring like “hey” with that awkward white person smile. I think that if I wasn’t hired, I could never go back to that restaurant ever again because that would be embarrassing as fuck, like imagine me going in and then everyone is like “look at that actual idiot that couldn’t even get into a crusty restaurant. It is a nice restaurant though but just for the purpose of this post let’s say it is crusty. It is also gonna be so awkward because when I go in I will have to be like “hey, I am here to like take your job” and then they will have to lead me to the room.

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Also when I was on the call, the man sounded nice and all but he cut out for a minute and then I did understand him but like I was panicking about what he could have said and then he said what time to come down and now that I look back at it I am scared in case I got it wrong. Like what if I go in and say “hey I am here for an interview” and they are like “bitch that isn’t for another week” or “you stupid bitch, that was 2 days ago”. Like I can’t handle the embarrassment. And what if I go “hey I am here for an interview” and then they look at me like “ok? the fuck you want me to do?”. I would walk right out to be honest. After the manager had called I literally sent a fucking documentary of a rant to my friends, pretty much like this, and because I am the first one to do this, they did fuck all and I was here like wow, so much help guys thanks. And some were like “oh my I’d be shitting myself”. Yeah no shit. I also told them to apply for it and I don’t know if they have yet, but like that would be so much better. It would be bloody awkward though if they got it and I didn’t and now they are the ones alone and I am just standing awkwardly like “so… was it that scary”. I also don’t cope well under that much stress and people concentrating on me and it always shows as well. Like my face goes so red that it looks like it is about to explode and I sweat like a bitch. I slur my words and literally get sweaty ass hands, so if they go to shake it, they gonna be getting one unpleasant surprise.

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So, if you haven’t noticed yet, I am terrified. If any of you guys have any tips with interviews or being a waitress, that would be really helpful to hear in the comments. And maybe if you have any of your own stories or how you felt getting your first interview that would be great. Hopefully on Monday I tell you a success story, and not an embarrassing one because I may have to just leave this planet forever. Everyone always says to “just be yourself” but I don’t like myself so why would anyone else?! I have the worst sense of humor so if I attempt a joke and they just stare at me, I am running out, or at least trying to with wobbly legs. Anyways, please send in any tips or stories, whether that is embarrassing, fun or just normal. I hope you guys have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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The Audacity

Hey guys, so if you have read my blog before, you will know that I have a twin sister. We have pretty much the same friend group but there are a few people that she would be more friendly with than me because… well, I’m a socially awkward kinda bitch. But the reason the title of this post is “the audacity” is because she went out with one of her friends and I realised, she has a life away from me. That cheeky bitch.

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Was that time we spent together in the womb not enough for her?! I mean how can she function and survive away from me. It just isn’t allowed. I mean if they asked me if I wanted to go out, would I say yes? Probably not because I am starting this thing called “slowly growing apart from others until I have no friends and eventually be in the elite level of depression”. It isn’t funny. I highly don’t recommend but I can’t go back now lol. I really can but that is besides the point. I then realised that my older sister and my mum and my dad have a life. They are not just characters that only live for my life. They have friends, a personality, they must be nice if people actually want to be around them. People see them as a friend or a co-worker and not as a parent or a sister. And sometimes you just gotta take a moment to realise all that and kind of understand the… what’s the word… the audacity. Even you, the person reading this, has a life. You are somewhere in the world doing something, maybe you are on a train, you are on a plane, you just woke up from a nap, maybe you are having lunch. I don’t even know! But you have a whole freaking life and by some miracle you are reading my own freaking post and I don’t know how low your day has got to get to reading this shit of a post, but hey, thanks I suppose.

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Do you know what else makes me go “the audacity of that bitch” is whenever you are walking and a person that clearly sees you doesn’t move out of the way even a bit when the are taking up the whole path. Let me tell you a few stories about a couple of those times. So it was last Christmas. I was walking my dog as you do, and this kid, an obvious prick, was on his bike around his street. I was on the footpath and he was on the road and I was walking, minding my own business. There were no cars around or nothing. Just me on the footpath and him on the road. And guess what this idiot decides to do. He looks me straight in the eye, goes onto the foot path and cycles right into me. He nearly fucking hit my dog and I wouldn’t give as much of a shit if he hit me, but if he hit my dog, lets just say I would be on Santa’s naughty list and he would be on the ground. He is defo gonna be a chav when he grows up. I just glared and was just thinking that he is gonna be a prick to some poor person in the future. He is gonna be so mean to whoever he is around and I hope to fuck it ain’t me. Next time I plan to just stop and let him move out of the way first because ladies first bitch!

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Another time something like this happened was literally last week and again I was walking my dog and it was in a forest park so the paths are a fine size, but there isn’t much space to go off the path if you needed to. So I was walking and this man and his wife we walking towards me. They dead-ass looked me in the eyes, they fucking saw me, and I moved to the side a bit to be polite because I know there is still the whole “respect your elders” bullshit, but I couldn’t move much further so I expected them to at least move to the side a bit, especially with the pandemilevato. But guess what, they don’t move an inch. Not a fucking millimetre and here I was looking like an actual ass because I had to turn into a fucking leaf just to not bump into them. And you may say they didn’t have enough room or they didn’t see me. But they looked right at me, they could have gone one behind the other or moved over a bit, and they did the same thing again. I am going to make a pact with you guys though, and you have to try and do the same. Next time you see that someone is going to do something similar to you, don’t move. Stand your ground and then if the people turn around and be like “your rude” or “why did you hit into me” just say “because I haven’t got no more fucks to give”. I mean quite obviously, don’t do this to a car or if you yourself are in a car because I don’t want to be charged for being the cause of a murder.

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Reading through this post, the vibes changed quite quickly didn’t they, but I think that was a pretty relatable one if I say so myself. But anyways, don’t forget to like, follow and comment if you enjoyed that content. Make sure you check out some of my other posts as well because, not to toot my own horn, but some are pretty good. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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I Am Confusion

Right, can someone please tell me why the FUCK is everyone getting married. Now, I don’t mean people in their 20’s or their 30’s or anything normal like that. But I mean people my fucking age, a teenager, getting married! I mean, I get it. True love and all at shit and meeting the love … Continue reading I Am Confusion

The Maybe Story

Today I wanted to share a story with you guys that I heard a while back. It is a random story but yet it has a big meaning behind it. So grab a cuppa tea and enjoy. There was this old Chinese farmer who spent all of his days working on his crops, until one … Continue reading The Maybe Story

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Do You Know What’s Weird? Everything

So I know this is quite a broad topic guys. I know what I am getting myself into. An existential crisis. But I am ready for it you know. I am ready to question life and everything there is to do about it because… to be honest, I’m bored and don’t have anything else to do, so lets go ahead and get this started together.

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Did you know that if all our empty space was taken away from out atoms, a single person would fit into a grain of sand. And did you know that if the whole universe had the space between the atoms taken away that it would fit inside a sugar cube. I mean this bitch really taking grandpa in my pocket to a whole new level. And then also, if you took an atom and made it’s nucleus into the size if a peanut, then the electrons would be the size of a fucking tennis court! I am not even joking with you guys! That is true! To be honest, I think electrons are definitely a “pick me” type of person. Like was there any need to be so large. And also take up so much fucking space. I mean what is the point of that. Does the nucleus have a bloody restriction order from the electrons because I don’t blame it, it seems like a sassy bitch. But like 99.99999999…% of an atom is just empty space but then how the fuck is everything solid. How the actual hell can we not just break things so easily. How are things bloody solid! And if the electrons, protons and neutrons are all just energy how the hell do they come to make something solid and is there some sort of connection between them that means they don’t go out of line. How do they make up everything? Yet are literally pretty much nothing. And how do we know that it is 99.99999999…% empty space? We haven’t gotten anything small enough to be able to see it, yet we literally see this as a fact.

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So many things now a days are a theory, but like surely after all this time you would have figured something out as a fact. Like we are just prepared to believe everything aren’t we. If a scientist came out and said “we are all fucking caterpillars who just haven’t turned into butterflies yet!” the world would literally eat it up. We would all go around thinking how crazy it is that we are all caterpillars and then bitches would be going around saying “oh my it all makes sense now. That is why when we die we get angel wings or devil wings” as though it was clear all along. Like the actual fuck! But then there are still people who are like “oh my god get that vaccine away from me! It contains a whole fucking laptop in it that will slowly poison me, make a clone of me, fly to the sun to their secret base and then come back home to eat the hearts of children!”. I think that is why I couldn’t be a nurse or a doctor because I would actually have to just slap them in the face and shout “you actual dumb bitch. You update your fucking Facebook friends every time you take a shit so obviously you aren’t that private. I’m going to have to call a cleaner for all the crap that just came out of your mouth. Why the fuck would we want to track your boring ass anyways? So we can see how long it takes to get to the manager’s office, Karen?! Huh! Don’t flatter yourself bitch”. Wow that went off topic a bit

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What other things are kinda weird? Hmm, well I guess this is kinda the same thing but like the beginning of the universe and I guess the universe now. I mean you are telling me that all the mass that has ever been in the universe or ever will be has been here since the very beginning of time. I was there (well, I mean my atoms were) and you and everyone else. The floor you stand on the air you breathe and we were all confined withing a dense ball that just happened to be here somehow. Like how did that mass just happen to become a thing and if matter can’t be created or destroyed then how was it created in the first place?! Answer me that science. Oh and I would like to say that I am not saying this from a religious perspective, it really just boggles my mind. But moving on, like how did it just burst one day and what was it in? What did it burst into? What is outside the walls of the universe? How do we know that the universe is still expanding? Is someone out there looking? Because what if you get to the end and then you are like “what the fuck do we do now?” like are you expecting there to be a door or some guy just walks out like “shit I didn’t think you would get here so early” and then just restart the universe. And what I also have to admit is that, if the world was a whole simulation, I couldn’t give a shit. Like who cares. Nothing else will really change. And if my life happened to be the Truman show, I also wouldn’t care. I mean that would be pretty cool. Everyone knows me, everyone (hopefully) likes me, and most likely I won’t even become broke because they want to make good TV not just a bum on the street. I mean I hardly doubt it is but like what’s the big problem?

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So yeah, I guess that is a bit of it. I am sure you know that this isn’t all of everything so I might have to make another post about this on a later date, but, for now, my 99.99999999% empty space, atom made, universe old, Truman show ass is tired, so I will see you later I guess. Don’t forget to like, follow and comment if you liked this type of content. I also just wanted to mention that, if you want, I mean you obviously don’t have to lol, there is a wee space below where you can like donate money to my blog so that I can keep doing this type of stuff in the future. Anything helps, but like if you don’t want to give a stranger money, that’s fine, but maybe you could leave a like or something. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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Guess Whose Back!

Bro, obviously it’s me but I just needed something a bit more exciting as the title because I don’t think many people would click on “Sorry I have posted the last few days, I was busy” so yeah, if you guessed right then well done, but if not then I hope for you sake that this is the first time reading my blog. I don’t really know what I am going to talk about in this blog but I promised myself that I would post something today because I haven’t posted in a while and I feel like, as a very very professional business woman, it is not in my optimal interest that I do not expel a writing into the world of the internet. I really hope you guys know that was a joke and that I am not some sort of business bitch with a stick up my ass. So yeah, I just thought I shouldn’t leave my blog posts so far apart.

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If you were wanting an explanation for why I wasn’t posting, it is because it was my birthday and because of corona and all that crap I couldn’t have all of my friends over at once so I kinda split it up into groups. I know that makes me sound like a proper popular bitch, but the truth is I am not and it is just because my mum rented me and my twin a hot tub and we couldn’t have a lot of people in it, and the corona thing of course. Also my question is, why do I always try to reassure people that I am not popular. I mean is it because I think it makes me look more ‘relatable’? I don’t think so. Is it because I think a lot of popular people are as fake as Nicki Minaj’s ass, or as toxic as my last relationship? Maybe. But I do find myself doing that a lot which kind of also makes me seem like one of those ‘pick me’ bitches who wants to seem so #relatable. Anyways, that is a bit off top, except there was no topic so really it was off. But off what? If it isn’t off anything then it wasn’t on anything so then it is nothing, so I guess this whole paragraph isn’t off topic so that’s good.

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For my birthday my mum got me 2 driving lessons with the young drivers things and I have to say I am quite buzzing because I have asked my mum for ages if I can even just turn on the car and she was like “no” every time. I am pretty certain that she has like trauma from teaching my older sister and isn’t quite prepared to have to teach 2 at the same time, so that isn’t the best for me I guess. I don’t blame her though, I mean even now that my sister got her license I am terrified because her road rage is… let’s just say it could start WW3, so yeah. Those trips are fun :/ But like mum why would you develop 2 people in your womb if you couldn’t teach them both to drive? I mean were you not thinking about that?! Absolutely raging. I don’t mind though, except I kinda do, but like I am not even at the legal age to get my license, so I suppose I shouldn’t be complaining, but I am to you guys so enjoy that I suppose. I wonder what the people in the young drivers thing are like. Are they super relaxed and are ready to crash into some sort of building, or do they have so much anxiety of a minor driving a car for the first time that they ensure absolutely nothing happens. What if they have road rage like my sister? I couldn’t be dealing. I also have this thing where I have to say every little thing I am about to do when I am learning something and it is quite embarrassing to be honest. It isn’t until I have perfected it that I stop and even then, if someone is watching, I do it. Like in Ju-Jitsu, whenever I learned a new throw or something, I would be like “ok so punch and then block and turn around, foot there, arm, lean forward, throw, grab wrist and punch ok ” Like I whisper it under my breath so it isn’t even that but what if I sound insane like I am talking to someone and then the instructor is just like “what the fuck” and huddling in the corner just staring at me. I also go really red whenever I do something wrong or am with any living being so he will either think I have stopped breathing, turning into the devil, or turning into baby jack jack from the incredible’s. But it will be fun right?!

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Anyways, this post kinda went all over the place, but like I think I might start the podcast I had been talking about because it is much easier to ramble on when you talk than with a computer and it also makes you seem less like a psychopath. I keep saying that I will but then nobody even says anything so I don’t know if you just don’t give a shit or what but I have a tendency to not doing something until someone else agrees with it or replies in a positive way so like if you think I should start a podcast, defo go ahead and comment because I am quite messed up mentally. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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Go read some more…

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Here’s What I Think About Birthday’s

So, it is my birthday tomorrow no biggy. I’m not going to say my age because, despite the fact I may have said before or if you have already made a guess, I don’t really want any 70 year old creepy men popping up in the comments, but anyways. I am at the age where talking about getting old makes me sound like ‘that bitch’ because I am not that old, but I would say that the difference between me now and me when I was pretty much a foetus is quite different and I am wondering if you guys think the same way.

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I ain’t gonna lie ok, I like going to people’s birthdays, but when I have to think of gifts or when I have to plan my own birthday, I run out of fucks to give you know. Like so what I was born onto this earth on exactly this day so many years ago, but as far as I am concerned, that isn’t something to celebrate. And I also have a twin which makes it a nightmare because we are literally polar opposites and, luckily we have mostly the same friends, but there are things that I want do and she doesn’t. And eventually it gets to the point that we just disagree with any of the other person’s ideas just out of spite. Like why am I organizing something for my day? But do you know what is fucking hilarious about having to share a birthday with a twin is that, because I am 1 freaking minute younger, my sister would always make the joke that I should do everything one minute after her, and then when we were younger cakes were very confusing too. Not because we shared one but because when we went to visit other family members for our birthday, we would bring other cakes like the classic Tescos ones or the OG Collin the caterpillar. And being the dumb fucking child I was, I wouldn’t catch on that this cake was for us and there were other people who have birthdays around the same time as us. So one day, when I was turning 7 (and so was my twin! What a coincidence !) I saw my dad taking out a cake and some candles and then later on that day they brought it out and I started signing happy birthday because of course. Tell me why my dumb ass thought it was my Granda’s 77th birthday! And then my dad put the cake in front of me and my sister and it took me a minute to click that it had literally been my birthday yesterday and they just got a candle for us each to blow out. How dumb must I have looked to be singing Happy Birthday to myself while looking around looking for the birthday girl or boy. Maybe that’s where my life started going down hill?

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What I have also realised is that the excitement for my birthday has really plummeted because back then I would be counting down the bloody minutes until my birthday, but now I really do not give a shit. I never even know what to ask for my birthday and everyone is popping up like “what do ya want” and here I am like “I don’t know! A fucking life?”. I mean there are many things I want that you can’t buy. Maybe a hobby, happiness, excitement! But then you end up with a pair of socks (which I actually do like to be fair but lets just say it for the point of this bit) that I have to be like “ah yes exactly what I wanted”. I also hate opening presents because they are just staring at you and you need to act as though this is the best thing you have ever witnessed in your life while trying to make it not obvious that, although you like it, you aren’t absolutely jumping with joy, you just want to make sure they know that you like it. And then after you open it all you just sit there quietly for a second like 😐 What the fuck do we do now. It’s a whole awkward situation and there is a lot of trying to make it seem like a special day, but in reality I am just glad that there is one year less to go.

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What I find funny though is thinking of your age as your level as if you were in a game. Like imagine being like “yes I’m level 26!” That sounds a lot cooler and maybe then older people will be less embarrassed by their age and we won’t have to hear “oooh I’m 25” whenever you ask them what age they are turning. We know your fucking ancient Karen! No need to lie! And it also makes sense because at each level you unlock something new. At 18 you can go into 18 films in the cinema. And when you get to 21 or something, you get student debt! Then when you are around 25-30 you get married and unlock a kid if you want. And you get a mortgage! How fun. And depending on how you live, you may get damage points like “-100 back health” or “+100 obesity”. That kind of thing. Watch the FBI agent in my computer get freaked out like “FUCK THIS BITCH HAS CRACKED THE CODE” LMAO imagine. I wouldn’t care to be honest with you.

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But yeah, don’t really know what else to say about birthdays at the moment, I guess you kind of just grow out of them as you get older. You don’t get all excited over the Lego set that you asked for, or the face painters that are coming over tomorrow. Wow, not me literally depressing you all, but anyways I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.


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Weekly Reminder

I don’t know about you guys, but this week has been tough as shit for me. This whole week I have been waiting to post a weekly reminder because there is something I have want to say to you. It’s something that you probably haven’t heard this week, or this month, but I want to … Continue reading Weekly Reminder

Sayings Are Saying Things That Saying Would Be Too Boring To Say

Lol, sorry that title literally gave you a seizure but I thought it would be funny for some reason lol. So yeah, all over the world there are sayings. Things that imply something else. But during my hourly existential crisis, I started thinking about talking and then about what we say and how fucking weird … Continue reading Sayings Are Saying Things That Saying Would Be Too Boring To Say

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What I Do To Get Ready For Bed

This isn’t your regular “get ready with me” bull shit. This is some relatable content. I’m not about to say “I write down everything I love in this world. I smile because life is great!” Nope because who the actual hell even does that? So, prepare to feel stalked because my bedtime routine is going to be the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

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Usually I get ready to get to bed at around 9. Now this doesn’t mean I am about to fall asleep as soon as I hit the pillow, but I get ready to just lie around for the next 2 to 3 hours, as per usual. By 9 I am already in my pjs so that is one thing done and I have also had a cuppa tea so I’m in the bedtime feeling if you know what I mean. I get all the boring as shit done and over with like washing my face and brushing my teeth. But because I am such a pro dentist, I have until it is half an hour since I brushed my teeth because of acid and teeth and all that crap. It does fuck all I think but I feel very… como se dice… grown up. While I am doing those things though, I never want it to be silent, so there is literally a boring ass tiktok video repeating itself like 10 times until I can finally swipe it with my finger. It’s bloody annoying but better than nothing. I also do that when am brushing my teeth which is actually really pointless because I literally can’t hear anything because I have an electric toothbrush but again, worth it. Then after that I usually walk between my room and my bathroom around 9 to 10 times because I always seem to forget something. The amount of times I have forgotten my glasses until the next morning when I am literally blind as a bat is literally embarrassing. Like my brain just doesn’t give a shit by the end of the day.

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So when that whole process is over, I switch on the LED lights. I try to keep them fitting with my mood, you know. It hasn’t been on green for a while :/ but anyways, then I am just vibing and trying to get all comfy while I watch more tiktok or just any series on Netflix. Although, it can’t be a scary one because if it is I always feel like someone else is in my bed. That will be quite difficult when I eventually get married and end up punching my husband in the face because I thought he was the green ghost from ghost busters, but oh well, that will be his problem. In all honesty though, why can you never find a comfy position when trying to lie in bed. I mean it is so random because during the night I could be sleeping like a fucking mushed banana and be comfy as shit, but I could be in a normal position while I’m awake and feel like I’m in Shrek’s swamp or something. But anyways, I like to get to that point where my eyes are so heavy I physically cannot open them, but you can also measure it by whether or not you have got to the Indian digger, mansion people on YouTube. I gotta give it to them, they make some good content. But after a few of their videos I know that it is probably best to not get any further. I do wonder what is after that stage. The answer to life? Who knows.

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Now comes the time that you turn your phone off. This can really resort in a number of things, let me list them for you.
– Crying
– Existential Crisis
– Embarrassing moments
– Not feeling tired any more so you roll around for ages
– Going back on your phone because your bored as shit
– Making up a dream world to fall asleep to
I guess that is a few of them, but depending on who you are I suppose there are more. The most rare one is actually falling asleep. For me that stage only comes after completing 3 or 4 of the above. But it’s all a bit of fun. My real genuine question though, completely off topic, is there a quick moment where we suddenly just switch off and we are like unconscious, or is it like a gradual thing because we never know when we fall asleep until we wake up, but yet we witness it everyday. Like isn’t that weird and scary that there is a point where we are now asleep and we didn’t even realise it.

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But yeah, I suppose that is my night time routine. I would say I am more of a morning person myself so that is why I am not one of those people that you usually find moving their whole bedroom around during the night. It’s pretty chill I suppose but comment down below what else it is you guys do to get ready for bed. Or don’t, I don’t care tbh. But anyways, I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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I Need Your Help

Hi, if you don’t know me, I am a straight white teenage girl with no disabilities and just a mental health problem. What does that mean? That means that the only discrimination I have faced is being a woman. Now, there has been problems with sexism at the moment, but over all I have got … Continue reading I Need Your Help

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The Next Generation Are Going To Be Messed Up and Here Is Why

I was thinking about this today and it really got me worried. I have never seen an embarrassing photo of a baby in a long time. I don’t mean in old photos, but I mean that on Instagram, the babies are always in Nike or Gucci with their hair immaculate and they never are caught in a bad moment. So why is this bad you may ask? Well, let me tell you. How the hell are these kids going to be humbled when they grow up and don’t have any embarrassing photos to look back on? Answer me that because all of their generation are gonna walk around feeling like they are absolutely perfect and, while we love self confidence, you don’t want to be a bitch about it. My generation are humbled by the fact that there are hundreds of our photos scattered around our house that could completely ruin our life. Like there are a few where, if they got into the world, I may never recover from. But they don’t have that. They voluntarily release it into the world with the caption “I woke up like this” while when I was there age I woke up with the 2 different Dora the explora pj’s and a bush of hair. And that would be a good day.

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To be fair though it kind of makes us more iconic. I mean I suppose it is very embarrassing when your mum or dad whips it out one day out of the blue and shows it to every breathing thing in the street, but it’s a bit of fun. Because you know everyone else has embarrassing photos so it is fine and is quite a fun time. Like their friend group is going to be so dry because they won’t have any embarrassing or funny stories to completely die about. The most they will have is the time their mum didn’t match their Gucci handbag to their Gucci belt. It isn’t ok to be honest. They will be able to sleep at night. They won’t get that flashback every night of that embarrassing point in their life 10 years ago. The audacity.

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I still get haunted by this one photo I have that is literally of 2 year old me butt naked by the side of the pool just chilling and obviously, instead of being parents and getting me changed or out of the view of others, they decided to take a bloody photo and print it out for everyone to be scared by. But again, it’s a big lol moment and I am not ashamed. At least I have a personality. At least I have the reassurance that, despite the shittness of my life, I look better than I used to. I know that I have at least evolved from that moment if nothing else. So what I looked like a crack head baby?! Who wasn’t? I think that when I have kids I will make sure they are allowed to just be kids and roam around so that I can take as many embarrassing photos as I can with great camera quality and then in the future they will be so pissed but I can look at them straight in the eyes and say with all honesty “It’s for your own good, kid”. Maybe they will hate me but at least my kid won’t into a cheeky bitch or a bully because they think they are better than anyone else.

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Honestly, what will happen if they only have good baby photos? Surely that will have some affect. I mean, imagine peaking when you are a literal foetus and when you are older you know that you can never get much better than that because now instead of expensive designer clothes, you are stuck with Primark tops and sketchers. Too be fair, primark is top notch and I am sorry if I just offended it there. I will forever worship primark. But yeah, to all the parents out there with the generation I am talking about, please, for the sake of humanity and your children’s future, dress them up like unicorn barf and let them get all muddy and be like actual kids. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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Could I Be Bothered? #2

So as a teen going through corona, my list of things I am not bothered to do has pretty much tripled within the fast week, and I’m not angry about. You could blame it on my mental health but you can’t blame it on something that doesn’t even exist any more. So I’m just gonna … Continue reading Could I Be Bothered? #2

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The World Needs More…

The world needs more pockets. Nope, that isn’t a joke. Today I am talking about why the world needs more pockets *gets kicked out of Climate Change organisation*

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In all honesty though, I have a solid argument about why we need more pockets. Maybe not in the USA though. They’ll just carry more guns 😮 oooooohhhhh I just went there lol. Just jokes though guys lmao. But I love pockets. Hands down, I love pockets more than I love myself, but that doesn’t say much to be honest 😮 self burn! I have a brand of leggings that I pretty much worship, and I mean I am not a religious bitch but these are my savior. It is so freaking convenient to be walking down the street on a warm day and nobody is wearing a coat or jacket or anything like that and they are like “uh I can’t be bothered holding my phone anymore” and I just fling my leg in front of them dramatically and point at my leg and go “suckers” and run off with empty hands and a phone in my pocket. It is just so convenient and I feel like, as a woman, the pay gap may not be a thing everywhere, but the pocket gap is more prevalent than ever. And that is quite literal. Men are fucking snails because they can bring their whole house we them, and girls are bloody struggling to put a receipt in their pocket. Then the guys all be complaining like “why you always got so much stuff in your bag lmao”. Well, Josh, why have you got car keys, your phone, a charger, a battery, a lighter, 10 pound coins, and last nights dinner in only one pocket! Answer me that bitch.

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I suppose it means that when there are decent pockets it is extra exciting. If something has nice pockets, the world gotta know. I will wear it for as long as it takes for everyone I know to appreciate it has pockets. So many of them don’t understand my excitement privileged bitches and I’m sick of it to be quite honest with you. And whenever I find a ‘pocket’ and I go to check the size of it and my fingernails can’t even fit in, you better know that just ruined my day. What cruel fuck decided to do that? What was the point? I just look like an actually idiot now because I just tried to jam my hand into fuck all! I also got an oodie for Christmas and if you don’t know what they are, they are the comfiest things in the world. Like, that wee girl from Despicable Me, the one that say “it’s so fluffy I’m gonna die”, yeah, well she would be dead from an oodie. But that’s beside the point. It has a massive pocket and I feel like a bloody Kangaroo because that is how big the pocket is. It brings me so much happiness. My dog can fit in it! What else could you want in life?

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Honestly though, why does women’s clothing always have like 0.1 pockets? Is it so we buy more bags or whatever? Is there a pocket shortage? The pocket famine? I bet you they were all made by men who wanted to keep all the pockets to themselves and now they are just laughing in their corporate office on the top floor of a skyscraper with all their millions of dollars in one pocket and their massive ego in the other. I can picture it now. How… terrifying. But yeah, who wants to sign a petition that we should all be treated equally. No person should ever have to get that fear everyday when they get no clothes. Women deserve pockets bitch! Vote for me, because pockets are our future. Wow, really got emotional there didn’t we. Imagine someone just skipped to that part after reading the title and thought that this was actually a serious post lmao. They just reading this like “what the fuck has the world come to”. But in all honesty and seriousness, is it really that hard to put an actual decent sized pocket on everyone’s clothing? It literally makes me so happy to have pockets.

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Someone please make a clothing brand called “world in my pocket”. It’s inspired by the absolute CLASSIC show “Grandpa in my pocket” and shows that the pockets won’t be minuscule and also shows that women are boss bitches because, well, we have the world in our pocket. Just make sure you give me a shout out on your site and put this post on one of your pages so others can really understand your brand. Your welcome I guess. But anyways, that is the wee rant over. I feel like I really got to your guys. Connected on a whole new level. I mean pockets are one of the greatest things and we shall not be kept away from it for any longer. But yeah, I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Superpowers You Get Living With Your Family

Don’t be expecting some type of soppy shit like “the ability to love” or “empathy” because this is not it bitch. This is the honest shit and it is especially relatable if you have siblings but maybe you do still understand. For context, I have an older sister and a twin sister and I live with my mum and dad, so yeah I can’t really speak for those with younger siblings or those with brothers. Also, if you aren’t a twin, you may learn somethings about what life as a twin is like but I mean you probably don’t give a shit so I suppose we will just get into it lol.

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Hearing

Do you guys get it as well where like you can tell who is coming by the sound of their footsteps and how they walk down stairs and like open doors or something like that because it really is a talent. It’s pretty handy though because you know that if it is your mum or dad or an adult of some sort, you just gotta get ready for either a deep convo, shouting, or your dad coming to fix something. But then there are also the times where they just come up and say hi and stand in your room for a second and then just leave WITHOUT CLOSING THE DOOR and then you ask them to close it and they go running down the stairs like there sore back has suddenly fucking healed itself. And you just lying in bed like what the actual fuck. And it is extra random because my bedroom is on the third floor and they never come up unless they have too, but they just get a burst of energy to go up and move everything around. And then, if it is your sisters, you just getting ready to scare them or fight them, or laugh uncontrollably, or throw them out of the room. It really is a wild card to be honest but all of the choices are a lot of fun. It is weird though how you can tell people by their footsteps but I guess it is cool too

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Thinking On Your Feet

You see, the thing is, when you have siblings you always want to get the last word, even if it doesn’t even make any sense, but it has to make enough sense to not get laughed at. It is quite the skill but can get really aggravating after a while because how can you end something that nobody wants to finish? It is quite the puzzle but the things you come up with are absolute comedy gold, at some times anyways. But like it kinda gets to playground come backs where you are just like “no your the idiot” or like you mumble it under your breath so they think they won but really you did, and you also do this when walking away. This kinda ties into the super hearing as well because I could be upstairs and they would be downstairs and whisper “idiot” and I would hear them. Then you have the choice of whispering it back or screaming down the stairs “I HEARD THE YOU BITCH”. The great thing about it all is that they never take offense to what you say. You could tell them they look like Donald Trump or some shit and then we would literally be on the floor laughing. The emotions change very quickly lmao

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Reading Minds

The closest that you can come to relating to this if you don’t have siblings is when you can look at your best fried from across the room and you just know what they are thinking. Like if the teacher is talking absolute shit and you just look over at your friend and they look back, it is pretty much that. An example of when this happened was when my dad was telling this absolute random story that sounded as though it was going to have a big shock factor at the end but it just was such a pointless story and then I was like “great story dad” and then he looked at me like I just insulted his mother and I just looked at my twin and we just started pissing ourselves it was so funny. I guess humor has changed a lot or something because he was not impressed. But like nowadays that is just how you talk to your friends. Sarcastically. So me and my twin were dying at how he found it offensive. Does anyone else do it where you walk into a room and your sister is there and you just stare at them straight in the eyes with a straight face for like a couple of seconds and then either just walk away or go like “boo” or scream or some crap. I feel like I am the only one that does that and it is a real bonding moment if you get me. Highly recommend.

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Vigilance

I swear to god I literally gotta be James Bond in this hoe because you are never safe walking into another room. You never know when someone is gonna jump out at you and you gotta scan the perimeter as tough we were escorting a celebrity (I was going to say president but…) Like I literally check the crack through the door and I analyse every shadow and reflection. The biggest success is when you realise they are going to jump out so you scare them first. How the turns table. I get scared when I go out of the bathroom because that is the most vulnerable place to be in my opinion. And also you gotta be prepared for something else. This is mostly when you go in their room and usually only happens when you are younger, but you gotta look out for booby traps. I remember that when me and my twin were like 6 or something, my twin went into my sisters room to tell her dinner was ready and then a fucking encyclopedia fell from the ceiling and hit her on the head lmao. It is those moments that would make me a bad parent because I would actually be crying because it is so funny. Like absolute genius move. You can’t take things too serious in this job. This job being a sibling. That was quite the funny moment though, but I have never had it happen to me. Maybe it is more of an american thing or something. I might have to give it a try. But surely it’s a bit obvious like, if you were talking to someones door and there is just a pile of books and you can see your sister looking evil and about to laugh, I don’t think it will work anymore. Guess we gotta find out. IT WORKED LMAO

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Loyalty

That isn’t really a superpower but I didn’t really know how to word it. Basically what I mean is that you know when to pick your battles and you can change your objectives in a second. For example, I could be talking shit right in front of them, but if I hear anyone say the littlest thing, they will be body slammed by me. Like no matter who they are or what they say, I will be coming for them you know. Like the confidence comes from nowhere it’s literally crazy. I myself am a socially awkward bitch, but you know I’m about to cause a scene if needs be. Can’t nobody treat my sister with anything less than love. Don’t test me bitches because it may seem like I hate them but in reality they mean the world to me and I will do what it takes for her to get the respect she deserves. So yeah, whatever superpower that is. Is it shape shifting? Or like a hulk thing where you just get all the power in the world? Who knows? Who cares?

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Anyways, these are just a few of the powers you get when you are a sister. They can vary from family to family I suppose but these are the most relatable ones that I know. If there are any things you and your siblings do, or your family in general, go ahead and comment down below, I would love to see what you guys do and I might mention them in my next post. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.


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Money Can’t Solve Your Pro… Shut The Fuck Up

In the wise words of Ariana Grande, “whoever said money can’t solve your problems must not have had enough money to solve ’em” and I live by that honestly. It is true though. Like a lot of my problems are caused by money but can also be fixed by them soooo. But every time I hear that phrase, I just think of the mugs that we all got as a kid and it would say “money can’t buy happiness but it can buy you cupcakes” and we would literally eat it up. We thought we were so fucking relatable when we had bloody chocolate milk in that mug or something like that. That’s what I hate though whenever I tell people I want to get rich and live the life I want and they are like “but money isn’t everything. It can’t solve your problems” and I just look at them like “I don’t give a flying fuck if it doesn’t solve my problems. It would be impossible to solve that many. Even my therapist can’t do it bitch, but I would rather be depressed in Greece under the sun with a lovely view, than stuck in Northern Ireland with the view of bloody chavs roaming around the streets. You get me? I mean which one do you prefer? Be honest.

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And I think that having a lot of money wouldn’t solve all my problems, but it could solve someone else’s. I want to do charity work in Africa or something or like give a homeless person a house, but if I don’t have the money, what the fuck am I going to do? Walk up to a homeless person and say “you see that house there. That is yours… is what I would say if I have the money but I don’t” *walks away* I mean that doesn’t sound fair to me. And I don’t see why people get so pressed whenever you talk about wanting lots of money. Like I’m just talking to my family or something and I’m like “yeah I want to get rich and travel the world” and they look at me like I just turned into fucking Donald Trump and as though I’m a disappointment for wanting to be successful. Mum and Dad just be like “I thought we brought you up well! I can’t believe you’ve just done this!” *me laughing because I am now thinking of that one vine*

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Yeah, I hope other people got that reference because that would be quite embarrassing if you didn’t. But back on topic. Why is it that people think money is such a bad thing. When people win the lottery, others are like “awk you don’t even need all that money, why did they even take the money oh my god” and I don’t know if they are just jealous or something but like if someone went up to you and was like “well done you won the lottery of £20 million” and you were like “no it’s ok I don’t really want it. Thank you” and they are like “but you literally bought a fucking ticket for it” and then your like “money doesn’t solve your problems, so no thank you” and then the guy says “£20 million fucking will you dumb fuck”. Like honestly, you entered it for a reason. So many people do. Do you want to not win it? Do you just like to complain that you never get it, when in reality you would just throw it away if you won. Like yes it is a lot of money but it doesn’t mean they are just gonna wipe their ass with it. They probably will donate some or do something nice with it. It isn’t their fault for entering a lottery like normal. They didn’t harry potter the fuck out of the numbers so they won. It is all by chance. So like why are people judging them the fuck! Make it make sense please because right now I would be loving a couple million in the bank.

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I could list about 100 problems that money could solve for me. That isn’t even a joke. I wouldn’t have to go to school or work ever again, I could travel and see things I never would have been able to see, I could help the less fortunate, I would have more of a voice, I could actively do things to improve the planet, I could do things like skydiving that I have never done before, I could pay for my mum and dad to never go to work again, I could support so many of the people I love. But then again that would make me selfish, no? I think it would be pretty bloody great to get a load of money you know. So to whatever numskull first said “money can’t solve your problems”, I dare you to win the lottery and find out what it solves, because hopefully it could fix your fucking brain for thinking money won’t do anything. But here’s what I will do. I will try my hardest to become rich and gather a lot of money, and then I will be the judge that will end the question of whether or not it solves my problems and at the moment, my guess is that it will, so just wait a few years and I’ll get back to you *sips wine from “money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you cupcakes”mug*

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Thank you so much for reading this post. It was a tad random, but lets be honest, it was necessary. Who else thinks that money could solve their problems? I know that some of mine could. Not all of them like but money can also pay for a therapist which could help. I don’t know, but hopefully we will find out. Please like, comment and subscribe if you enjoyed this content and I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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Check Out Some Of My Other Posts

Weekly Reminder

Hey guys, so I just wanted to say well done for getting through this week. I am sure there has been a pile of new challenges for all of you guys but the fact you are here to read this is amazing. I also kind of just wanted to make a point of saying thank … Continue reading Weekly Reminder

Who Am I?

No I am not about to do a proper “face reveal”. I am talking about the fact that as a teenager we are expected to understand who we are and what we want to do for the rest of our lives, yet, the fact is, nobody has any fucking clue. And that’s ok I always … Continue reading Who Am I?

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Do You Know What’s Weird? Sleeping

Right, hear me out guys. This may sound like utter shite but I swear when you think about it for long enough, it literally makes no fucking sense, or well, at least it is such an amazingly weird thing. There is just a time of day where you could walk down the street and everyone around you, in their houses of course, is sleeping. Like nobody is awake at that moment. The world quite literally shuts down. The lights go out, we are pretty much unconscious, everything is closed except for clubs and really sketchy areas. But it is so weird that half of the world is like “ok, i’m done” and that is relatable as fuck, but again, what the actual hell. And then sleeping itself is a whole thing. I mean we just lie on this cuboid of feathers or cotton and shut our eyes for however long it takes to fall asleep and then BAM you are awake and literally 8 hours have passed (if you’re lucky) and we just act as though that is normal. And it is such a vulnerable moment as well. We are literally lifeless, our eyes closed, and we just vibe as though nobody could break into our house and just stab us or something. Sorry if that gave anyone anxiety, you would wake up in time don’t worry :/

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But what is it with sleeping. Like why is it that we have to literally sleep in the dark and get all comfy in a bed and shit, while animals literally have to sleep in shit and the cold and they just vibe. Yes you could say they have fur but like we have clothes and we still have to have a bloody sun in our room to fall asleep. To be honest, I would be so raging if I was an animal and couldn’t sleep under a blanket. I would have to become one of those dogs you see on tiktok that are so cute and literally wrap themselves up in their blanket and you realise how dumb your dog actually is because they literally walk into a glass window even if it is all smudgy 😐 But imagine how scary it would be if you were like the first living thing on earth and it was getting dark and you were with your mates and all of a sudden you were like “bro bro BRO I can’t keep my eyes open” and they were like “bro what?!” and you were like “my eyelids are like heavy or something bro! I’m seeing darkness and shit”. “Bro that’s so cra… OH SHIT BRO my eyes are heavy too!” and then you be screaming and you and your friend just conk out and in the morning you are like “shit bro! It’s bright again. My eyes aren’t even heavy? Bro, are we… dead” and your friend is like “I don’t know bro, but then again I am literally just a cell so… I mean I didn’t even know we had eyes until a couple of hours ago”. The end. I really have no clue what these stories even are. I mean what the even fuck. Please do say if I am going too far but like, I don’t give a shit so.

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Back on topic though. Our body has literally evolved to be like “ok so we kinda need to not work for a couple of hours, but like, we will also be working even harder than usual if that’s ok with you” and we just accept it like “yeah I trust you to keep me alive while I literally have no control over anything” and then our body is like “nice! As a thank you we are going to give you magical stories during the night that will make your actual life seem like actual shit and you will be depressed that it is gone. But if we accidentally give you a good one, we will delete it from your memory in a split second. Thanks again.” and we just like “that doesn’t sound fun at all actually. Maybe I should just stay up because I mean you still work when I am asleep anyways so…” and then our body is like “bitch Imma give you a headache if you don’t go to bed ok! And I’m going to make you feel so tired that you won’t be able to do nothing else BITCH”. Like it’s weird but like ok. And I know that there is all kinds of science behind sleeping and why we do it, but if we just forget science for a teeny tiny moment and just have a teeny tiny existential crisis, sleeping is so confusing and crazy.

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Then there are the people who feel like they are literal Jesus or something and they go frolicking around saying “I don’t even need sleep man. It’s just a ploy that mattress companies put in our head. I mean I haven’t slept in like 3 days man and look at me, I’m toooottaaallly fine dude *looks like an old sac of skin with some no life behind his eyes* America is the land of the free do I don’t even have to listen to all that science shit you know” and these people are also always anti-maskers and anti-vax people who think they are revolutionary but are really just paranoid and self-conscious. Can’t you die from a lack of sleep though? I mean it sounds quite dramatic if you ask me. You seriously are about to just shut down because I wouldn’t close my eyes for a few hours, what are you? A baby. I mean come on. And also one last thing that I am completely pissed about everyday. Why the hell am I still tired after sleeping?! Was that not enough for you body because it seems like you be needing a lot of shit these days. You need sleep, you need exercise, you need fed, you need sun, you need water, you need rest, you need washed, you need every fucking thing in the world and you know what? I’m sick of it to be quite frank with you.

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LOL anyways that was quite the rant today wasn’t it. I hope you are all have a great time during summer, or if you are still in school I hope you are coping ok. Surely it is nearly over right? Well depending on when you read this. Maybe you are some sort of galactic alien who randomly snatched a phone for some reason typed “do you know what is weird? Sleep” and if that is you, alien, give them their fucking phone back bitch. Cha anyways, I hope you have a good day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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My Only Summer Goal

To all my friends out there, I am sorry bitches but like this is my big goal. You are already my whole life so that’s why it isn’t a goal but of course I will still spend time with you. Or I will for as long as my mental state will let me lol. That was totally irrelevant to be honest lol because I don’t think any of them read this, if you do though please comment below lmao, or not because, well, I don’t care 😮 But anyways, I am just rambling so let me tell you what my one goal is for summer. Drum roll please… BECOMING MY OWN BOSS AND NOT HAVING TO GO TO SCHOOL EVER AGAIN IF I DON’T WANT TO. Quite the ambitious one isn’t it. But this summer I have 3 and a half months off for summer so if I work my ass off with my blogs and other affiliate marketing things on the side, surely I can get at least enough money to prove to my mum I can do it.

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The other week I was kinda like “I donny know if I want to go back to school for my A levels” and then she was like “ok, you don’t have to” (in the petty mum voice which sends shivers down your spine) “but you have to come up with a plan of action” and I was like “you know what, I will bitch” and so I sat down with pen and paper for a second and then was like “fuck” I have no clue how to bloody get there. But the great thing is, I am young so really I have no financial responsibilities of having to provide for my family and I shouldn’t even have to think about that yet. The thing is though, when I get to A levels I won’t have as much time to do all this stuff, but summer started yesterday for me, so I have all the time in the world (well… 3 and a half months) to be able to reach my goal of financial freedom. And trust me, I am bloody scared that at the end of that time I will be on this blog like “heyyy, so… here’s the thing… BYE” because I can’t really afford to pay for this blog if I have a McDonalds minimum wage, you know.

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And I know this sounds like I am about to go into this whole “GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONEY” type shit, but in reality I am only talking about this here because then I will feel like all of you guys are going to judge me if I don’t get it, and you will know about everything I do so I can’t just drop out as though nothing happens. So that is why I am kinda giving this a whole post, not for the charity lmao, but for the pressure :] But yeah, if you could give some motivational speeches in the comments or something that would be great. I know what I want to do to achieve it like, but kinda feel like I will chicken out or just accept I will have to stay at a 9-5 job for the rest of my life. And if by the end of summer I haven’t made my goal, please add some resumes in the comment section because I will need the help. I really do have confidence in myself don’t I.

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You may be wondering, “why the hell do you want to make that your summer goal? Why not a hot girl summer or something like that?”. Bitch you obviously haven’t met my pasty ass because I am not attractive or confident enough to do that, so why not just hide away until I have the money to become tan as fuck and get all the babes in Miami instead of bloody Portrush which is teeming with chavs and pedos? I also don’t want to have to live a paycheck-to-paycheck life because that isn’t me. I want to be able to earn passive income and eventually make it so that my parent’s never have to work again, and I can go on holidays and do whatever the hell I want, and also give back to others like actually getting my hands dirty by building schools in Africa or some shit like that. I want to make a change while making money too. And it most likely won’t happen but I am used to disappointments and I already am one so what do I have to loose? Literally nothing. Maybe just some self-respect but I don’t have much of that anyways, so I am going to fucking try because this might be the last chance I ever get. Comment down below if you have any motivation or tips and tell me what your goal for summer is? I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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Here’s The Thing About GCSEs…

So yesterday I just finished my last ever English exam and saying I am buzzing is pretty much an understatement. I mean I am pretty sure I failed it but it is over now so I don’t give a shit. But the thing is, GCSEs weren’t even such a big deal. Maybe that is because of corona or something, but literally I didn’t revise until the night before for all of them. Now of course it is a bit different this year. There aren’t as many and we knew more about what was going to be on the exam, but like still. And I am kinda raging about it because for the past 5 years I have literally been working my ass off just to get good grades in my trackers which don’t even matter, but when it comes to my GCSEs I have literally given up. Maybe that is saying something about my mental health?

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What was I getting at again? Oh yes, so for the past few years I have literally been looking at GCSEs like they were the devil. They aren’t no perfect peter like, but they aren’t as bad as they seem. The truth is, I get more stressed out that I am not stressed out, because these kind of determine my future so if I don’t do well in them, let’s just say I will have to get used to the smell of McDonalds. The fear kind of only hits me right before when I literally just sit down to do it and then realise “oh shit, I don’t know anything”. But at that point it is too late and I have to rely on others being in the same position. My excuse though is just that I am not great at memorizing words and putting them down on a test, which is pretty much exactly what GCSEs are, a memory test. I think that is why I like languages because it is testing what you know, not what you can memorise and forget about later. Like, I hate the writing part of Spanish because that is just memorizing things, but for reading and listening, you can’t learn things word for word and it just tests your general knowledge of it.

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I have to admit, the GCSE years were the best so far. Well, despite the fact there was a pandemic and I was actually out of school more than I was in it, but the vibes and the classes were better. Especially the last couple of months, because you have the motivation of “I will never have to do this topic ever again”. Like when I finished my essay and finally put my pen down I was just thinking that I will never have to analyse the significance of the colour brown or the full stop at the end of a sentence. I will never have to learn a 10 page essay by heart just so I can at least pass. I will never have to hear and see the teacher’s passive aggressive face and voice as the go “hmmmmmmmm WELlllllLLLLllll you are on the right track, you aren’t wrong, but let’s develop that a bit, Ok?”. The subjects I have been forced to do that brought me internal suffering are done forever and it is literally like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. And quite literally because my English file weighs a fuck ton.

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That being said though, in your GCSE years, you get to know your teacher’s better and they begin to actually respect you and get to know you. You get to see the teacher’s who genuinely love their job and you start to tear up at the idea that you don’t have much time left with them. I only have one day left of school this year, and despite the fact I have 2 years ahead of me, I was gonna miss the teachers. There are gonna be some that I will never have again because I don’t do their subject, yet they are literally my favourite people. Yesterday, one of our french teachers made crepes for everyone for form period and apparently she had spent the past 5 nights staying up to make them for us. And the look on her face because she was so proud of herself and happy at being a teacher, near made me cry. And then there are other teacher’s running around talking to you, getting photos and helping out. They are literally like your other mums and dads. This is the moment where you see the teacher’s that genuinely love being a teacher and it is so great because in first year or third year, you just saw them as teachers who give you lots of homework, but then later on you realise they are actual people and have personalities. You are able to see how much effort they put in everyday to take care of us and give us the best education and support that they need. Maybe that is just my school, but I know that when I leave in 2 years, I am going to miss some of those teachers more than I do some of the students. Although too be fair a lot of the students are bloody annoying lol

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So if you are a teacher, or even my teacher! I just want you to know that we are so greatful for what you do. I know as first years we don’t fully understand what you do for us, but when we get older and get to know you more, we appreciate what you do for us everyday and how you make us feel so comforted and included. So keep doing what you are doing. And if you are a student, just know that, although my years have been different, GCSE years are life changing so try to enjoy them despite the stress. The teachers genuinely do care and you will most likely remember them for the rest of your life. Take each day at a time and just enjoy it. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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Could I Be Bothered? | Part 3

Hey guys. So this week has been a very “what the fuck” week if you get me. Like there are a lot of moments where I have been asking myself “what is even the point lol”. NO, I don’t mean that in a mentally ill kinda way, but like when I am told to do things or I see someone doing something, I am just wondering why the fuck I would do it

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A marathon
Do I really need to say anymore? I mean why the hell would I be like “on my time on this earth, I will only feel proud when I can run a fucking long distance”. Bitch what sort of trauma do you have because that isn’t sane people shit. Like I am sorry but why would you want to. You would get so bloody bored as well. So you are sore, tired and bored, I go through that all on a regular bases anyways, so I don’t really see the need to run to get those things. I mean I suppose I could see if it is for a charity, but like Mo Farah and other Olympian people literally do it as a warm up or something. I used to run and do 5k but that shit was so boring and I hated every second of it. To any runners out there, are you ok?

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Camping
I just know that my friends are reading this like “will this bitch ever let it go” because we are making a bucket list of things to do during summer and a couple of them were like absolutely, camping is such a great idea, and me and others are like “but why”. But like seriously, this needs talked about. Why would I willing sleep outside, in the cold, where there is no body that can hear me scream, no help near, I have to piss in the woods, sleep with insects, get all smelly, have to carry a bunch of things there and back, not have a very nice meal, literally be kidnapped etc. When I could literally be warm in my bed, watching a movie, hear the rain from the comfort of my house, no insects, have nice food, not have to carry anything anywhere, relax, piss in an actual toilet, and have less chance of being murdered in my sleep. Like give me a reason why camping sounds better? There argument was that it is an adventure and unique, but bitch the only thing making it unique is that you won’t be able to do it again because you are dead. Like… And it is hardly like you are going to do anything groundbreaking when you get there. Like you are hardly going to set up a tent on top of dinosaur bones, or right next to a top-secret Russian spy base. Like we live in Northern Ireland. The most you are going to find is an empty Guinness can.

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Relationship
I am definitely not mentioning this just because I never have a chance with going out with anyone, so don’t get that idea in your head :/ But in all seriousness, are you telling me I have to pay attention and talk to them on a regular bases and leave my house? I don’t do that with my friends so why would a man be any difference? I have been in a relationship once and, maybe it was just the guy, but it really ain’t all roses and kisses. Like it is tiring as fuck. Maybe if you find an actual nice person, but like other than that I could not be bothered. I really have lost all faith in men at the moment so maybe I am biased. But at the moment I am fine with just living in my shell, only talking to people when I have an ounce of sanity, and having no real responsibility to go out with people and be interesting. lol

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The Responsibilities of Being Famous
I am not gonna lie. I feel like it would be cool to be famous and have a bunch of people who know you and actually like you, but then you hear so many stories and then I am like “ok maybe no”. Like they have to go to award ceremonies, talk to people, act happy all the time, always say the right thing, always have to post and be active on social media and things like that. They all have really busy lifestyles, and for me productive day is having a shower. Like maybe I am just having a mental breakdown, but surely they have them too and they still need to keep on doing so many things. Maybe it is worth it, I will never really know that, but like do they ever just get a day to stay at home and do literally nothing?

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Being a Mum
So this one might be a controversial, might get on some people’s nerves, but like if it does you are probably a misogynistic twat so… But what I mean is that, I would like to have children and be a mum, but it is the things you have to do as a mum that gets me. Not even the dirty nappy’s or the no sleep part, but the fact that I feel as though mums are still the people doing all the house work. At least it is like that in my family. My mum has a job, like my dad, but she does more work in the office, at home, does the dishes, makes the dinner, cleans, brings us to and from school, the laundry, literally everything. I am not sure if it is like that for all people but it is for me and although I try to help out, I can’t do enough to help her. My dad just works and does the dishes/makes dinner whenever he actually has to. The reason I said this might be a bit controversial is because some people will definitely say “oh well women are supposed to be in the kitchen. They are supposed to do those jobs” and I am not saying all of these things should be put onto men, but like why can’t it be equal work for both of us. I don’t want to become a mum if it means it will turn into the traditional gender roles in society, you know.

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Lol anyways, this is kinda what I think about sometimes. It really got a bit deep at the end there didn’t it but like oh well. Please like, comment and subscribe if you enjoyed this type of content. I think it is a wee bit of a laugh and I enjoy it. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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Do You Know What’s Weird? Time

I would just like to say sorry for any existential crisis that might come from this post, so I warned you I guess. This one can go pretty deep if I do say so myself, but I am going to get started before it all goes through my head, but none of it actually on the screen, so yeah. Enjoy my mental breakdown.

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It’s funny how time is literally a social construct that somebody just made up one day. Like it must have been millions of years ago that a cave man was like “sdofhakganakljwfj” oh wait, let me translate that for you “hey bro, I kinda feel like we should measure the days” and the other one was like “why?” and then he was like “well, I dunno *kicks the ground awkwardly*. I just kinda think that making plans would be easier instead of just saying to meet at the dinosaur bones whenever this burning light in the sky is at the right hand side of the blue air. Every time I check I just go blind again”. And then boom, they just made time. But the thing is, time isn’t a real thing. Yes we know the definition but like time was made up. Seconds, minutes, hours, were just made by someone to make our lives more convenient. It is a bloody construct that the whole bloody world lives by and yet I have so many questions.

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First of all, how can some people think that time has gone by really quickly, while others think it moved so slowly. The same amount of time passed, but for some it was as if it was sped up, but in that same moment while someone thinks everything is going so fast, someone thinks it is going really slow, as if it was in slow-mo. And both happen at the same time. I don’t really know how to explain it in words, but like time is whatever we perceive it to be, yet there is only one set time. And I don’t know why I find it weird, but when I say something like “uh this week has gone so slowly” and they are like “it’s actually been quite quick for me”, it just sends me into a spiral and I am like “what is this world” and then I go on and on like what the actual fuck is time anyways. It is literally nothing, it is made up, yet it makes up everything, we use it for everything. We blame it for so much, like death, yet it isn’t even a thing. Time can’t kill you, but we say it does. Time isn’t anything.

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And in reality, we can’t say “time travel is impossible” because time isn’t even a thing. How can you travel in something made up? We could magically tell the world to put their clocks forward 4 hours and that is technically time travel because we moved the time forward, the thing we made for the world to live by. But the time travel that we talk about is actually just wanting to go to more developed particles. We want to see what everything looks like when particles have changed and moved. So it isn’t time we want to travel, but movement. And when they released something on the news the other day saying “scientists have found a dimension that is moving back in time”, what it really means is that it moves in a different way. I know I sound absolutely mental, but I just don’t really know how to word it but please comment below if you understand what I mean.

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But like, we say we can’t control time, yet we made it. In reality we can change time, but we can’t change the movement of the earth. We can’t speed up the development of everything around us. It is just weird to think about how this thing we all plan our day around, was made up. It’s a concept. It’s not like gravity where the world would fall apart if we didn’t have it, or that it was always there we just hadn’t named it. If time ‘disappeared’, everything would carry on. Nobody would die from it, the earth wouldn’t be blasted into a million pieces. We don’t need it to survive. Yes it’s very convenient, but imagine what life would be like if we didn’t have it. What would change? But genuinely, that is a question. So much would change, yet nothing at all would change. Maybe we would all still be judging it off of shadows or the position of the sun in the sky. Maybe society would fall apart because we can’t organise things and be ‘on time’ to things. It’s freaky how something made up, makes up everything.

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There are so many other things that I think about time. So many thins that I literally can’t describe, but hopefully somebody read this and was like “this is exactly what I think too” and it is so crazy and confusing, that it kind of makes sense. It is so complex, but so simple. It is so scary, yet so reliable. Ok, I definitely think I have gone insane, but I hope you guys are looking forward to this new series “Do you know what’s crazy” because there are so many things that we have normalised that, in reality, makes no fucking sense. Anyways, I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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The School Newspaper (The Biggest Joke)

I don’t know if the american’s are taking over our school or what, but they decided to do a wee school newspaper. I thought that sounded cool and I was interested in reading it, but on the front cover, there were a few things that got me thinking ya know. Just a few points I would have changed completely, just to bring the truth back you know. But yeah, lets get started,

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At the bottom of the cover it said ‘we wanted to give the pupils an outlet to express their opinions, interests and passions’. I just wanted to ask, who put the gun to that writers head because that was a pile of shit. Also don’t worry, we haven’t been fully converted to the american ways so I was talking about a metaphorical gun. Just so you guys know. Anyways, lets get back on track. From my many years of experience, school really has done fuck all for our interests and passions, and don’t even get me started on our opinions. You should see their bloody face whenever we give our opinion on something. It is literally a scene from a horror movie. Even in English class whenever your analysis is basically 100% made up and what you think it is, there is still a right and a wrong answer. They could literally write a movie about how someone gave a separate opinion in English and then the teacher killed them with her stare. They seem so offended, but like you don’t even know what the fucking answer is because they teach you fuck all. That isn’t even a joke. My English teachers literally always say “this has to be pupil lead, ok. I can’t teach you this, you need to do it yourself”… Why the fuck are you here then? Seriously? Because for the past 30 minutes I have been travelling into the darkest areas of my brain, just to figure out why the fuck they put a “and” in the middle of the sentence. The amount of shit I come up with really is worrying, but they expect us to know everything about the text, despite the fact we don’t give a fuck. And that is the truth. My teacher was literally like “why does the host sing” and we were like, I don’t know, and she was like “well obviously because he was part of a choir in the 1960’s. That is so obvious guys, because it says in the book ‘hello’. You really need to try guys”. I don’t even know what to say anymore because shit is flying everywhere, but there is not a fuck in sight. Do the teachers actually believe what is coming out of their mouth or is it a universal joke, because if it is, it isn’t funny anymore. Why can’t I enjoy a book of a movie without having to think of the word placement!

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The title of the school newspaper is also called “the student voice” but like we aren’t even talking about our opinions really and it is only a one off thing. They really said, “smile for the camera” and then throw us back in the bin afterwards. Like I 100% know that at the next open morning they will have a fucking field day talking about how they really wanted to hear our opinions and that they are such an accepting school, and all the parents are going to die for it. Then there is just us at the back, not taking any of the crap they are saying. It kinda makes me laugh though because we literally have no voice in anything. Yes they are good at asking us, but it goes in one ear and out the other and you can tell on their face that they don’t give a crap what you have to say. You could be crying like “school is so stressful and I feel like it needs to be more organised with homework and tests and over all support with mental health” and they will give you the creepy smile and say “ok. Who is next?” as though we are a fucking McDonalds drive through.

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I do have to admit though, my school (which shall not be named~Voldemort :0) is quite good to us. Most of the teachers are nice, once you get past 3rd year of course, and it isn’t too bad in terms of school life. It isn’t perfect but it is the systems fault and they don’t have a lot of control over that part. They are fairly inclusive I have to admit and I am glad to go there… Why the fuck did this just turn into an ad for my school. Watch me read this on opening day lol. But yeah anyways, I just thought the newspaper was a bit of a massive lie which is a tad bit funny. I think if I were to write something in the newspaper I would write about something like “what do you do when you run out of fucks to give” or “how to dodge the bullshit”. Those sound like self-help books that I wanna read to be honest lol, but I don’t think my school would allow the inappropriate language. So sorry about that loves. They literally die over 2 earrings or if you have one strand of dyed hair, so maybe my taste in content is a tad too much for them at the moment.

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Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this content because I feel this was quite the relatable one. Wish me luck also because I have my Chemistry and Spanish test today and I am supposed to be studying that right now, but if you read yesterdays post, you will know that I am right on schedule. Believe it or not, this blog is my way of trying to escape school so maybe I can make money from this instead, but we will have to see. It is fun anyways, so if I end up at a 9-5 office job I can just do this on the computer instead of actual work. Please like, comment and subscribe if you like this content and I will see you tomorrow with even more. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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What My Study Schedule Looks Like | Honest Edition

Bitches, this is gonna be one small post because really there is not much to say, but hopefully that makes some of you feel more relaxed because you can look at this and think, well, at least I am not as bad as her. Or, you never know, we could be the exact same and we will become best friends. However, if you are my teacher, this is a joke *winks dramatically*. So yeah, time to expose myself I guess.

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In School

I have to say, I do actually stick to this ‘schedule’ so I am going to take that as a positive. But yeah, so this is the studying that I do when we have nothing to do in class and we have a test that day, or when the teachers have had enough of us (I don’t blame them, some of them are actually doing my head in)

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  • First on the list, I get my earphones out, you know, get the study playlist going. Motivation is at top level right now and you have your books out, your in the work mindset, kinda, and I start making a wee bit of a mind map for like 5-10 minutes. At this point, I think I am the revision goddess, literally so elite and I feel I will pass all my exams. But then comes the next part
  • I’m working thinking, surely like 25 or 30 minutes have passed already, this will be easy. I look up and only 3 minutes has one passed. I scream internally which, to the people who are looking at me, would think I literally just saw the ghost of fucking Christmas past or something. Then I go back to work, and at this point my motivation has dropped by, probably 75% already. So not too well. My writing is getting sloppy, I am not actually focusing on what I am writing. The music is like the theme song for my life, and my sole has basically been sucked out of me.
  • Now it is time to have a complete mental breakdown. I usually try to pencil that in for a round 20 minutes before class ends, because that lets me crash so low, but not low enough that I can’t act like everything is totally fine. At this point, I have squiggled all over my page in rage (that rhymed lol) and my pen is no longer in my hand. The music and my thoughts are the only things I am concentrating on right now and it probably looks like I am having a staring competition. These are the moments I literally want to die and, if this was high school musical, the dances would be so fucking insane.
  • The bell rings, I try to pick up all the peaces of my broken brain, pack up, and act like human being and say something like “that was boring” or “I actually did something that class” when in reality, nothing changed and I did fuck all, but at least my coast is clear and I nobody will know that I lost around 50% of my brain cells and overall will to live.
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At home

This really could just fit into one bullet point and that is not an exaggeration. It is also quite a rare occasion so I really needed to use my brain power to remember what I did. I am literally meant to be revising right now, but… Mum, if you are reading this, I am sorry. I just really… don’t give a fuck.

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  • Time to get the books out. I always pick the test I have for the next day, or the same day if I want to be a bit risky. And again, I don’t always revise the day before. So I get the books out, I have a quick panic attack because I realise this is my life and I hate it and I don’t know anything and I don’t know how to revise and I don’t know what topics it on and I don’t want to do this anymore. Then I get some pen and paper
  • By now, I am mentally numb enough to start. This last for like 5 minutes because I then go for a wee pee break you know. This usually lasts a while because I just go on my phone and cry and I am really scared to leave lol
  • I get back and I quickly look at this pile of crap, me, and then at the one on the table. I scan through each page with lightening speed and then make myself think that I know it all and I will be fine. Knowing very well I don’t even know what subject I have in front of me. Once I have convinced myself I know everything. I pack it away, go back to bed and cry because I actually know fuck all and I am really stressed about it but I can’t bring myself to actually do anything about it because I feel it is a waste of time and I am not going to succeed either way. Or something like that anyways.
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So yeah, these are my study schedules. Do I recommend them? No. Do I stick by them? Yes. And I always will. You see, I actually don’t want to do school. Pretty much, my only passion is hating school, which is surprising to people as I am usually labelled as a smart person, or as they say in NI, a ‘sweat’. But in reality I am just a big ball of stress that want’s to please others at my own cost and at the moment I am about to burst so yeah. Quite fun, right! Anyways, I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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I Am Confusion

Right, can someone please tell me why the FUCK is everyone getting married. Now, I don’t mean people in their 20’s or their 30’s or anything normal like that. But I mean people my fucking age, a teenager, getting married! I mean, I get it. True love and all at shit and meeting the love of your life but for fuck sake mate. You are still learning the reproduction system in biology class so give it a break luv. Every time I open my bloody snapchat there is another person I know that is getting married and here I am lying in my bed, looking like chewbacca, with no eyebrows, in my PJ’s. I swear to god that is literally the reason I am slowly backing away from society. Either that or my mental health 🙂

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There are also so many people my age getting pregnant, and I am not judging like, I think teen parents are totally fine and I am not judging you, but like, I don’t even talk to any guys. The only guy I have talked to pretty much ruined men for me but you are here literally starting a family! Let me catch up mate, I’m still recovering from the last one. It is so creepy though. Every time I hear someone my age got married, the boyfriend (or husband I supposed 😐 ) literally is 20+ and I am sitting here like, luv you are a victim, the fuck. That literal pedo man could be your father babes and it’s not ok. And you can comment all you want “age is just a number” and “they are in love” but then one week later they will be popping up on their story saying “nrs only real ones know” and in reality, everyone fucking knows because they video their life as though they are the kardashians. We literally don’t care OK! So if you are getting married, good luck to you, but I don’t really want some chav from down the road having my kids

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Seriously though, where is this coming from. Is it in the vaccine or something, because it has just all happened at once. Babies and wedding rings bloody flying everywhere. I swear that I am the only girl alive that isn’t talking to another guy, or anyone to be honest lol. I think if someone where to go up to me and propose while I literally am not even at the legal age to drive, I would be sprinting away. You’ll see me on the news, fucking Forrest Gump up in this bitch.

Is it becoming a trend or something? That would make so much more sense to be honest, and would make me feel less lonely. It is literally one of those things that makes you feel sad not to be a part of, but then when it happens to you, you feel like throwing up. Kind of like in cheesy movies when the guy looks over at the girl in class and they are proper in love, but then if that happened to me I’d be getting my pepper spray out. Would defo give me the ick like. Wait! Oh my god, what if you literally loved someone with all your heart but then when they went down on one knee you got the ick! What would you even do! That would defo be me though, no lie. That’s scary. But hopefully I won’t have to figure that our for a while. I’m gonna take it slow you know. I still need to learn how to talk to guys without jumbling up my words like bloody scrabble. So yeah, I have quite a ways to go. Could I ask though, to any of you out there who are like teenagers and are married? What did your parents say, because I would be on the streets. And like, do you actually love them or do you just feel bad for them lol 😮 But I mean, if you actually have found the love of your life, I respect that and wish you all the happiness in the world. Damn I am lonely.

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Thank you so much for reading this. Was kinda just a wee bit of food for thought you know because I have been seeing so many people doing massive things. If you enjoyed this, please like, follow and comment down below. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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What Do Our Dreams Say About Us?

If you thought this was gonna be some informational shit then you are gonna be disappointed, because I am just as confused as you. Literally I wake up and the first thing I say is “what the fuck”. That could be for 2 reasons, one being the dream and the other being the fact my body had the audacity to live another day. But today we are talking about reason one. And then I always hear people saying that our dreams say things about us and here I am searching up “what does a dream about a dinosaur flying in mars with King Kong say about me?”. Please tell me I am not the only one because I never really have normal dreams. I also find that if I do have normal dreams, they are really boring ones. Like one of them could be me doing an exam but then the invigilators are elves or something.

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I also wanted to ask, am I the only person who has never lucid dreamed before because my friends are all talking about how they were like aware they were dreaming and then went on to do so many things, but I must be dumb as fuck because no matter how weird the situation is, I just vibe and it doesn’t click with me until later on when I am like “elves aren’t even real”. I don’ know, am I just weird. I would be scared though if I lucid dreamed because can’t things go wrong like they try to kill you or something. That sounds like such a joke but I swear I heard that before. I would also be so fucking boring. I could be talking to a unicorn or something and then be like “wait this is a dream!” and then it would just be me and him looking at each other doing that awkward smile and looking around really awkwardly and then I would just go for a walk or something. It would be embarrassing though if you were like OMG I am gonna try and fly, and then all you do is jump and you can’t get anywhere, then it is just you and the unicorn staring at each other like what the fuck now. Not me literally getting embarrassed by something that hasn’t even happened and it would have been in my dream anyways. Why am I talking about this, this is completely off topic, anyways, let’s get into it.

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How is it that our brains are like “i am depressed” and then it is like, if I make the dream about a lion walking in space, that will surely let them know they need help. The fuck? I be needing a bloody English teacher to analyse each atom of my dream just to know what it’s about. How can that literally link up. And then there are dreams that I get that are so complex and so weird that I actually have no fucking clue where to start. Like the other day I had one about me in school doing a project and then somehow I got into a huge shouting argument with my ex and I was left in tears. Then I was packing up and I was the only one there and when I walked outside I had actually been in my house so now I was in my street walking down the road like I was the main character in a breakup movie. Then my teacher came driving down signing some type of song and these guys from my class where knocking on people’s doors and just talking to random people and then out of one door, the same teacher that had been singing just shouted “RIOT” for no reason and I woke up. I also think that in this dream, or it was another one, I don’t remember, there was this whole scandal where the teacher was like “if you pass the test I will tell you who I kissed” and then it turned out she had kissed her fucking cousin or something. That was really weird to be honest and if you are some sort of dream person, am I completely messed up? Because that would explain a lot actually.

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Dreams are weird though, aren’t they. Our brain just makes up images based off our thoughts and emotions we may not even realise. And they are smart as fuck. Our brain can remember every single person we lay eyes on even if it was for a split second. Like where does that energy go when I need to revise because right now I don’t give a fuck what that old man looked like! I need to learn fucking Pythagoras theorem. But I guess that is useless as well lol. Although, our brain also can’t remember the dream we just had a split second ago. I could wake up like “this is was the best dream, everyone needs to hear it” but then it is just gone. My whole memory of it just literally scuttles away and I am like what the actual fuck. Why does it do that? Are we just no meant to remember? What sci-fi, government, alien type shit is this because I really wanted to remember it. Another thing that confuses me is when people say that “you always dream, unless you are dead”. But I swear there are nights I didn’t dream. Did I die? Was that fact fake? Did I just forget it? I need answers people! I also need to know why we dream. Why is that just a normal function that happens because soon enough I am just gonna start believing the movie “inside out” soon. How are we able to project images in our head and be present during them despite the fact we are asleep, and then there are times that we sleep walk and sleep talk. I have actually sleep-talked a lot and I recorded it a few times. It is safe to say I did not release any secrets. Well unless “wellgosjflasnlgnllkjlj” means something to you.

Anyways, I think I will leave it here for today because I am not up for an existential crisis today. Maybe later though. I also wanted to say that I am probably going to start a podcast soon for this blog because I generally don’t know how to word things in a way that makes sense on the computer. Basically it will be me reading these posts but adding in extra topics that jump into my head. I will try to keep them shorter but I usually do ramble on about the weirdest things, so look out for that I guess. Anyways, if you are excited for that, make sure you leave a like, comment and follow so that you know when I upload my first one. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself.


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Why Do They Even Sell Those! But I Want One…

You have to admit, there is some ridiculous shit out there that has literally no purpose and when you see it you are like “what the actual fuck”. And that shit is me. lol that was just a joke :/ But seriously, there are literally people who make a fuck ton of money off the stupidest things. And I mean, fair play, but like, what made you think this would be useful… but I will take your entire stock. Here are a few of the things that make me think this

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Switch Bot

Bro, I knew the world was getting lazier but what is this shit. How big must your room be to literally get another robot to switch it off. Now, I suppose it will stop you from getting eaten by the monsters that live in the dark, so you don’t have to leap into the safety of your bed, but like, a majority of us will have LED lights which is so much easier. Then again, I am a lazy shit so it would be fun. I would shit myself though if it broke and kept turning the lights on and off. That would not be ideal, but I’d take the risk. Does anyone actually own these though? And I mean at this rate, by next year we are all going to have robots that wipe our fucking ass. Where does it stop?!

Sticky Stress Balls

If you are a teen, you have definitely seen this on TikTok. It is the wee balls that people would throw onto the ceiling and then they would have to make sure none fall and it literally gives me so much anxiety. I’m like “fuck! Bob watch the one on the right! It’s going to fall! Catch it catch it CATCH IT. Oh my god mate that was close, look out for the one at the back, it looks a bit unstable”. Please someone tell me why I get so stressed as if it’s a bloody football match. They are supposed to help for people with ADHD, anxiety and autism, or at least that is what it says on the ads. Maybe I will use that on my mum and say that it will really help me mentally, so then she buys me them. Then again they aren’t that expensive. But I mean a broke bitch gotta do what a broke bitch gotta do!

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Voice Recording Button

To be fair, this one really is necessary because it is so simple yet so effective. I have also seen literal dogs use it, like Bunny on tiktok who has proper conversations and existential crisis (relatable) and is just an overall good boy. But yeah, I think if I were to have one, I would make it one of these “Well it was fucken one of yeas! Desgostan!” or “bitch?!” or just any meme that is living rent free in my head. At the moment it is “I’m gettin’ ripped tonight! RIP that…” but that would get annoying fast. I am already annoyed at myself SMH

Wooden People Things

I didn’t really know how to title this without it sounding creepy but like these were literally the best things in my childhood. I am pretty sure they are for like artists and designers or something, but kids definitely kept the industry going. You could put them in literally any stance that you wanted and I felt like a proper genius when I made it do the bare minimum. I would make it look like it was walking and I acted as though I deserved a noble prize. They were officially ruined for me the day that I saw that someone made it do the dab. That was traumatizing but now I want one again. It literally does fuck all though, I mean why was I so obsessed with it as a kid. It is a literal unfinished barbie with a stick up its ass. But I guess I liked being able to make it into anything I wanted because you could move the knees and the shoulder and everything you know. I always see them around and some of them are tiny ones and I kid you not, if I gave into the urge each time, I would have a whole community of them. Although, they are definitely the things that you would love the first day, but then after that it just gathers dust in the corner of your room and you would forget about it, and then some day you are just so fed up with looking at it so you throw it away. Why is that also me LOL

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Anti-spill Mug Stand

Whoever made this is a mug. How uncoordinated do you have to be to use this. I suppose if you have some sort of disability but like where is the need. As an avid tea and coffee drinker, I have never needed this really. Maybe after a few coffees when I’m a bit shaky? Wait why is that cool. And I just get random urges to swing things for some reason, kinda like that annoying 6th year who just got a new car and is swinging her lanyard around everywhere. That would be so hilarious if you just saw someone going down the street flicking their cuppa tea around there finger. The neighbor would be like “Karen? Get the kids, we need to leave”. Imagine, that is so funny. My sister is also really interested in the smallest things so maybe she will make me teas so that she can use this? Hmm, that sounds like a plan. Imagine it just didn’t work though and one morning it just full on splats on the wall and now you have to deal with that before you even have a cup of coffee. That is quite the nightmare but I guess you gotta trust the process. Why do I want one now? Handbag? NO! Mug holder!

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Juice Sprayer

I have seen these last 2 products on a tiktok, so shout out to that guy, but this seems so cool and then I realize, where is the need. What you basically do is jam this into a piece of fruit and it will spray out the juices in it. Pretty solid idea to be fair, but here is my question. What do you do with the juice-less fruit. I mean wouldn’t it be easier to just get the juice in the store and then use the fruit for, I don’t know, EATING?! But I don’t want to be the boring kid who literally is a Debby downer, so I have to admit, it would be quite fun. Like you could try is for so many things. A massive strawberry, a melon, a peach! Literally anything and it is so quick. None of that funny business with the blender. Just bish bash bosh, you got yourself a fruit spray. Genius idea like, I have to be fair, but never have I ever just been like, I need two sprays of orange juice right now. And even if I did I would just eat the damn orange. Might get it though just for the bants.

Anyways, this was just a wee bit of a random post but you gotta be fair, some of these ideas are so useless that they have become so necessary. And I am not complaining. Like, comment and follow for more content like this and I will try to post again tomorrow, but you know what school is like so I will have to see how much time I have in between cryin- I mean studying. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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Sayings Are Saying Things That Saying Would Be Too Boring To Say

Lol, sorry that title literally gave you a seizure but I thought it would be funny for some reason lol. So yeah, all over the world there are sayings. Things that imply something else. But during my hourly existential crisis, I started thinking about talking and then about what we say and how fucking weird it sounds. Just here me out…

Kick The Bucket

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I have no fucking clue if this is some roman goddess Egyptian thing, but like this makes absolutely no sense. It sounds like an actual joke. My theory is that long long ago, a mum just got back from getting some water and she was tired. Then her kids went out to play and then Jim ran back in and was like “Mum. John kicked the bucket over” and then John’s mum just demolished him, then Jim told the story to all his mates and it became a thing. I mean I don’t know, maybe I’m wrong, but have you got a better explanation?! Yeah, that’s what I thought. Maybe it was made by an English teacher and “the bucket” actually symbolizes the normality of life and how, when someone “kicks” it, they are kicking their life away. So the bucket is actually the answer to the universe. Tell me I’m wrong bitch. That was accurate as fuck.

Dark Horse

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This one is so confusing and literally keeps me up at night. How the hell does a “dark horse” mean that someone surprised you? They defo got traumatized from the scary horses at the end of “a Christmas carol” because that is the only thing I can think of. Every time I think of it, though, I just think of a mum watching her kid on sports day and then her kid is like wining and she whispers to her friend Karen “well, Jim’s quite the dark horse” and then she looks back and is like “where the fuck is Jim” and he has turned into a horse. *me watching my followers go down* That was definitely a bit weird, soz about that.

Piece Of Cake

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“That was a piece of cake” WHERE! Did I just miss it? Where did the cake go? Make it make sense. I mean how is a piece of cake easy. You can’t call someone that! lol. But yeah, does it just mean that it was easy to cut into a cake because it is so soft or what because I say that a lot but like if it does mean that, I could literally just say “that was a piece of toast” or “that was a piece of avocado”. You get me? It’s just a bit weird ya know.

Let The Cat Out Of The Bag

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Do I need to call bloody RSPCA or something because I am kinda scared. I mean are you the crazy cat lady from the Simpsons? And I do know that it means letting out a secret or something like that but where does it come from. WAIT… was it from when they believed in witches and witches were said to have cats so then when they found they had a cat the “truth” would be out and they would be literally toasted like a Marshmallow. Wow, I defo just found the real answer.

On Cloud Nine

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I actually think that this is just me because I swear people talk about cloud 9 or something. Isn’t that the movie with Dove Cameron in it. But I do think that only I don’t understand this one and I am genuinely confused. I mean I guess I understand saying you are in the clouds because your so happy, but where did the 9 come in? I thought 7 8 9?

Happy As Larry

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Who the fuck is Larry? And why is he so happy? I mean… who is even called Larry? Such a random name I guess. Why couldn’t it be “Jolly as Holly” although if someone said they were jolly as Holly, I would genuinely punch them. No joke, so yeah.

Anyways, I get confused about so many things and this is me just giving that confusion to you, so your welcome. There are so many others out there too and I think I need to accept that I will never understand these. And if I were to ask my teacher, I don’t think I would ever be free again. Although, I really did uncover the truth about the “let the cat outta the bag” thing so your welcome. But yeah, please like, comment and follow for more content like this. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.


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Things With The Same Vibe

A lot of you are gonna think I am crazy, but then you will realise that I am a genius because it will make so much sense. So just hear me out. Some of these will be obvious, but then others will leave you absolutely gobsmacked.

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Female=cat Male=dog

I just wanted to say that I am sorry if this offends anyone. I know there are more genders, but I am only talking about these two at the moment because this is what I think of.

I am not really sure if this is a given to be honest, but it makes sense. Whenever we see a dog we instantly think “what a good boy” and when we see a cat we think it is a girl. If I am being stereotypical, it might be because cats are more poised… sometimes. And they just seem very pretty if you know what I mean, they don’t give a fuck and just vibe. Cats also seem quite smart too. They can’t really do any tricks or anything, but compared to my dog, they are Einstein. They will also throw hands with anyone which is quite iconic. And now to the dogs. I know this is stereotypical again, but like still. Dogs are literally so crazy. They will do the dumbest without even thinking about it. They make friends with everyone, can piss where they want and literally go mad. And from my experience with my dog and men in my life, they will not listen to a word you say and only stay for the food.

Y

Can someone please tell me when the fuck they took the letter y out of the vowels because I swear it belongs there. As I have aged I know that the vowels are AEIOU, but I swear y had been in their. What tea happened between them because whatever happened, I am on y’s side and you can’t change that. The whole English language is so rude for doing that to us. All world problems can be linked to this. It is so aggravating for some reason. Where the fuck is cancel culture when you need it because this monstrosity needs fixed. The funny thing is, when I think of the word vowel, I instantly think of Y but it isn’t even fucking one of them. Well it was fucken one of yaas! Desgustan! Sorry that needed to be said

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Guns and America

Violence and America

Great British Bake Off and Being Inside On a Rainy Day

Now I would first like to give a shout out to whatever person on tiktok that talked about this because it is relatable as fuck. I did change it a wee bit but it is pretty much the same as hers. It really does though. It is such a cozy and comforting show because they are all nice, it is a cosy set, they bake things and it is something I have watched for while. I don’t even know how I didn’t think of it before but it is so true! The thing that confused me though was that this was said by an American and I don’t know if this is stereotypical but like I thought that Americans were basically shut off from anything non-american and didn’t really watch other stuff lol. But I mean fair enough right.

Being In School After School and Being Cold

You have to admit, whether it is for an after school club or a school play, the vibes where off. It kind of feels like it is a strangers house, but mainly feels cold and uncomfortable. It is scary as fuck right and it felt so wrong, kind of like you broke into someones house. I hate it so much and even when you go back home afterwards, the whole day is just messed up. As though everything is delayed and completely destroyed

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Pins and Needles, TV static and Dr Pepper

I don’t feel like everyone will understand the Dr Pepper part, but I remember like 10 years ago I accidentally drank someone else’s drink and it felt like such a weird drink for ages and then 2 years ago someone asked me if I wanted a drink of Dr Pepper and I had never tried it before, so I said yeah. The first sip I had gave me literal flash backs and it was so weird. But it really does taste fuzzy though. You have to admit it. And if pins and needles were a tangible thing, it would look like TV static and taste like Dr Pepper, and that is a solid fact, right?! I also have to say that pins and needles are literally the worst thing and I will also never be drinking Dr Pepper ever again.

This was kind of a weird post and kind of gives me weird vibes but like I kind of was stuck on what to do. I hope this makes sense to someone and please feel free to comment down below if there are any things that have the same vibe. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.


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Sometimes Smaller Is Better

To all you creeps out there that thought of something else when they read this title, go away lol. We are talking about the fact that ANYTHING is better when it is tiny. Even though it is usually so overpriced and a complete waste, they are so freaking cute. Currently, I don’t actually own anything tiny which is probably one of the biggest problems in my life at the moment. Well, besides my mental health LOL. But if you disagree with me, I will convert you into loving miniature stuff. And if you agree with me, then you will still love this post because it will be very cute. I will also leave links to things so you guys can check it out and by one if you like.

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Mini Microphone

You can’t even fight me on this. I mean have you not seen all the people on tiktok interviewing their dogs with these things and they are just living their best life. I have been wanting to get one of these but my family literally think I am just wasting my money, but honestly I think this is a solid investment and they will all be jealous when I am living my best life with a mini microphone. Although, I do think it will become my new personality because I will be using it all the time and that kind of scares me, but it is worth the risk I think. I mean how funny would it be to just whip out one of those things in a serious situation when you are sending snaps to your friends. And humour is my coping mechanism so if anything, this will benefit my mental health, or it will be a product of my breakdown. But either way, it will be a fun investment. But imagine when we are all oldies and we are showing our grand-kids some of our old stuff from when we were kids and then we just pop out one of these things. I mean that is quality comedy I feel like, and we will definitely be the cool grannies. If you think of it, we look back and see how they used massive machines to make amazing things, but then when we look back on what we have now, it is just a whole fucking joke. I feel like that really reflects the mental state of our generation. If you want one, which you probably do, then click here or on the picture below.

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Mini Brands

You guys have 100% seen these things on tiktok, or you are literally living on Mars. But, if you haven’t seen these, it is basically a wee ball which has different compartments that you can open and inside each one is a tiny version of products we see everywhere and you can try and collect them all. The thing about them though is that it is actually good quality because it isn’t just a piece of paper with the product printed on it. There are literal ones with the ninja turtles toy inside. It is pretty much like they got the real thing and used Dr doofenshmirtz’s shrinkinator on it. It really is next level and I definitely believe it is worth the money because, I mean duh. Just look at them. I would put all of my money towards these things, cry about it, but then enjoy opening them all. Also did you guys know there is literally a “list of inators” and I know worship it like the bible. To get the mini brands collection balls you can click here or on the picture below.

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Popin’ Cookin’

I really did just bring back a whole era. These things where everywhere during the time that YouTube was elite because none of us really had Netflix. I just remember watching them do it and it was so amazing. It looked so tricky, yet so satisfying because it had the wee molds and stuff. It was really funny as well because the instructions are in Japanese or Mandarin, I don’t quite remember, but they would just go for it and it always ended well. You also get wee mini equipment with it which would be completely useless for anything else, but was basically what Ratatouille would be using or something. I have yet to get one, but it is definitely on my bucket list. My bucket list is pretty short lol. They look so cool though and I hope you guys have fun with them. There are literally so many that you could make a bloody restaurant with them. Who has Ratatouille’s number? If you want a mini sushi one, click here or on the sushi picture below. If you want a donut one then click here or on the picture below. If you want a ramen one then click here or on the picture below. If you want any others, just click on any of the links below and then if you scroll down the amazon page you will see something like “related products” where there are more meals.

Baby Clothes

Obviously I am not gonna link to any baby clothes because firstly, it is weird to have them if you don’t have a baby, and secondly, if you have a baby, you probably have clothes for them already. But anyways, I literally get baby fever every time I see how small their socks and shoes are. I don’t know if this is just me, but I can not walk past baby clothes without letting people know that I walked past them. I could literally be in the middle of a zombie apocalypse and I would still be like “awwwwww look how small their shoes are” in a high pitched voice. It is as if I forget they are so small, but they literally make my day. Especially when it is just a smaller version of your clothes because it makes it seem so funny yet adorable at the same time. I would be walking by and then cry “this is the same as mine but just TINY” and then move on with my life. The thing is though, I would buy all these clothes for my baby, but then the next day they would have basically grown out of it and then my money is wasted, but then at least that means I can be THAT MUM that tortures their child by showing them all the clothes and photos from when they were younger. Can’t wait. Well, I can because I am 15 and don’t want a living vomit machine at the moment but like, in the future.

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Travel Size

These things are the spawn of Satan for the planet because one bottle of shampoo literally lasts one shower, but you don’t use them all the time so it is fine, right? And again, it isn’t when they just use a normal small bottle, it is when they keep it the exact same as the normal size version, but just tinier. It is so exciting, but so overpriced, but then again the deodorant looks the exact same as my normal sized one! I literally spend all of my time in Tescos or Superdrug just staring at these and pointing out every time I see a cute one, which is basically all of them. This is definitely one of the best things about traveling, well I mean apart from the actual trip of course. But you know when you were younger and your mum would buy you a magazine for the journey and it was like the best day of your life. I am gonna buy my kids wee mini travel stuff. Ok, obviously not but I mean I would be chuffed with that to be honest. One time I saw a wee tiny floss thing and it was literally £1.50 and the length of my hand, but I was near buying it. That is a fun pass time though.

click here for mini hair straightener
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Anyways, I think that everyone who has got to this point is now in love with mini things and I applaud you. Please feel free to comment below any other tiny things you like and like and follow for more content like this. I would also like to say that the links in this blog are affiliate links meaning, at no additional cost to you, I might get a small commission. But yeah, I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.


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The Most Embarrassing Moment In Human History

I have made a few story times in my blog. Many of which are so bad I will probably never show my face to you guys, ever. But, as I am never going to show my face, I may as well tell you some other times that I want erased from my mind and everyone elses.

School Hallway

This one has literally been burned into my mind and everyone reminds me of it at random moment, just as I forget about it. So it was in first year. I was waiting outside of Latin (I know it sounds so fancy but it was crap) and it was a really busy corridor. And for some reason I was leaning against the wall with my legs out a bit and then I ducking slipped. As is that wasn’t bad enough, it was in front of a bloody teaser and they just looked at me with disgust and was like “get up of the floor”. So as if it wasn’t embarrassing enough being a first year, I had to slip in front of everyone smh

Little Fight

Right, so when I was younger, maybe p7 or something, I did karate. I was a proper pro so I went to competitions and at one point you had to fight someone, with gloves obviously, but that’s besides the point. So my coach was like, can you fill in for someone in their fight, and I was like of course because 1, he could literally beat me up and 2, it was fun. So here I was walking to the fight and I was like where is everyone? I look down and there they were. Literal foetuses. I looked at my mum like “is this even fucking legal” and it was so bad. I could have inialated them, but I had no clue what to do and it was so crap. I quit not long after that lol

The Tea Was Too Hot

This moment was literally so painful. So my mum made us go and meet her cousin when I was like 12 or something. I was so awkward as a kid but when she asked me about my teachers I was now a literal extrovert because there was finally something I could say about. There was this teacher that was really strict and that people were scared of, it was a Latin teacher actually, and I was telling her about the teacher. She looks at my mum and goes “ THE *teachers name*” and my heart dropped. Tell me why, out of the billions of people on this earth, this bitch had to be the teachers stepdaughter. So I just told her that everyone was scared of her mum. I can never forget this.

Zoom Call Disaster

Here I was, another day on online school. It was the last lesson before we got of for 1 week. So k was excited and exhausted you know. And by this point I was sick of the awkward silence whenever she asked something so I was like, I’m just gonna get this I over with. So I waited for someone else to go first and then I eventually spoke. No joke, someone else spoke at the exact same time as me, so it was just a second of us speaking over each other and I died inside. And I never spoke on zoom again.

Goodbyes Are Always Difficult

I think this was like 5 years ago, but I had been part of a club called ‘Guides’ with my friends. For Americans, it is basically girl scouts but sexist. They taught us to like clean and cook you know. But yeah, we wanted to quite, so at the end of our last guides holiday, they were asking us what we wanted to do in guides next year and we were like, we are kinda going to quit. Let’s just say our timing was not good because they talked to us for ages and we had to spend the rest of that day, and the hour car ride home, listening to their passive aggressive comments. What made it more embarrassing was that when they were asking us if we were leaving, I was like “well we are thinking about it but probably we might 100% be leaving”. Why am I such an awkward bitch?

Anyways, that was embarrassing so please feel free to comment if something similar has happened to you or whether you have other embarrassing stories. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


Could I Be Bothered? #2

So as a teen going through corona, my list of things I am not bothered to do has pretty much tripled within the fast week, and I’m not angry about. You could blame it on my mental health but you can’t blame it on something that doesn’t even exist any more. So I’m just gonna tell you some more new things added to my list of things that I do not give a shit about.

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Revising

I suppose this is a given, but like I am on a whole new level. As a matter of fact, I am off the charts. But what makes me happier is that pretty much everyone that I asked, hasn’t been revising either. Maybe they should make a new chart? LOL but no, I actually cry at the thought of it. So far I am doing well, so maybe I’m kind of relying on fate at the moment. Lets see how long this last for :/ But it is also so funny that nobody else has really realised that I have given up, because before I was always revising and really stressed for exams, but now I have no fucks left and they still look at me whenever they say “I know a lot of you are working hard”. Bitch, I haven’t opened this text book since last time we were in school.

Small Talk

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Don’t even get me started on this. What devil even created this. Why is it that when I sit next to anyone in class, I feel like I have to talk to them or they will think I am a weirdo and a boring person. It is so bad though because I do it all the time and I really can’t be bothered. “The weather’s pretty crap today”, of course it fucking is, we live in the fucking UK. I haven’t suddenly lost my sight you know, I can see out the window. And then there are the ones like “looking forward to the test, lol.” HA HA since when did you become a fucking comedian John. Or when they say “I am so tired today”… what the fuck do you want me to say? Sorry??? I am fucking tired of your shit conversations.

Wow, I just finished writing that and realised that small talk really is a touchy subject for me. The thing is, I say all of these too because what else am I meant to say? How’s your nan? Maybe that is why I hate myself.

Laughing at Bad Jokes

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Again, I am guilty of doing this, but the power that it drains from me could light up all of America. Your jokes aren’t funny but I don’t want it to be awkward or make you feel bad. I know that probably pity laugh whenever I make a joke but like, normalise being honest with jokes. If I don’t like your joke, I really can not be bothered to act as though you are the next Kevin Hart babes, so sit down and think about what you just said. Is it bad to have kids and not laugh at their bad jokes or will that give them self-confidence issues. I’m just teaching them to be comedy gold, right? Just for your own piece of mind, I do not have kids at the moment.

Getting Shouted At By a Teacher

I know that from day 1 of my life, I was not up for getting shouted at. I might as well have come out of the womb silent because I didn’t want to cause a fuss. In first year, if a teacher even looked at me, the sweat would be tripping me. But after the third lock down, something just switched off. And I am pretty sure that turned off the ability to give a fuck because I am ready for guys. Come tell me off for not writing why I thought the author put a full stop at the end of the sentence, or why I haven’t been participating in class. I mean of course I won’t be purposefully disrespectful to them, but if they want to start calling my mum, I have got her on speed dial and I am ready to tell her everything. Try me.

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Boris Johnson Quotes

STOP! I am literally pissing myself. These are so funny. This literal idiot just is a walking joke and I love how people have just picked out the best bits. “Lovely BLOO passport”. I mean why the fuck can’t you just speak normally. He gives such grandpa vibes, but like the one who is always drunk and getting in trouble. “purple shampoooooo”, why is this bloody Tory so obsessed with the colours of everything. And my favourite one by far… “bloody rapscallions”. Oh my, the videos for this make me literally cackle. It is too good.

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Photos

I have quite mixed emotions for this. On the one hand, I will have my memories with me wherever I go and I can show it to my kids when I get older. But on the other hand, they are so bloody inconvenient and boring. It is a bit of a dilemma I guess. It takes so long though, especially at parties and you are just like, can we just not do this because I could not be arsed. I would rather be with them in the moment and have photos in my mind, than get photos of every blade of grass we pass.

So yeah, these are some of the things that I can’t be bothered to do. Leave comments down below about things you can’t be bothered to do. I know there are hundreds out there and I will be making more. I will shout out your page as well, if I use your comment in my next post, so yeah. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.


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Mother Nature’s A Crazy Bitch

If you don’t live in NI at the moment, the weather has been fucking crazy. No joke, two days ago here was my pale ass out in the sun BOILING, and today I built 3 snowmen and a snowdog. Call me Jesus because I made some pretty good people. Sorry if that was offensive :/ But it do be crazy like. But jokes on my English teacher, pathetic fallacy is fake, I was depressed in the sun and the snow, so… Ha 😐

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But yeah, I swear mother nature is on her period or something because these mood swings are something else. But at least she has a heated pillow, global warming. It do be kinda weird to think of it like that. SOMEBODY GET THIS WOMAN SOME CHOCOLATE. I really do be stereotypical with all this period shit but at least I am not an ignorant man.

The thing is though, despite the fact the weather has changed so much, they have been the 2 best types of weather. I got to go out to town without a cost, in a cute outfit and enjoy being outside. And I got to bring out my inner child in the snow. Good times I suppose. She really did us a solid because imagine if it was just sleet and coldness. I mean the audacity of it being snowy but only lies as sleet. And the audacity of it being blue skies but cold as fuck. That’s how you know mother nature is a petty bitch lol. Same though 😮

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Do you know what weather literally makes me feel physically sick?! Whenever the sky is so grey it may as well be the queen, but there is a gap which lets out so much sun and the vibes just don’t match. The AUDACITY! It just doesn’t make sense and kinda ruins my day, ah well.

When I am older I defo want to live somewhere warm because, to be honest, the NI weather just ruins it. Maybe not America, for… reasons, but maybe somewhere like Spain. I kinda live there already, just without the S. LOL I swear that is a a joke, I’m ok. But yeah, I don’t really know what this post is about really but you just read it all so I guess we are both bored as fuck. Kinda just commenting on the weather and the fact it has as many mood swings as me, but hey, us girls gotta stick together.

Please like and subscribe if you liked this post and I swear not all of it is based of awkward small talk LOL. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.


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Could I Be Bothered? #1

So here we go with a new series where I tell you whether or not I could be bothered with certain things going on in the world. Don’t worry it will be exciting.

First things first. What has been going on in the world? Despite corona of course because I mean I am so over that. So I guess I can’t be bothered. Anyways, what about…

Easter

Now, I am not trying to get all political now. I’m talking about Easter egg hunts and all that type of stuff. I am 15 right now, in that “awkward” phase, if you will. Now here is a question for you? Are Easter egg hunts still suitable for teens? The answer is FUCK YEAH, I’m gonna be bunny hopping this bitch if I need to. My mum had the audacity not to make one this year. So, could I be bothered with Easter? Yes. Normalise enjoying the childish things in life. I mean I can’t wait to have kids so that I can go on Easter egg hunts or trick or treating without it looking weird. I’m gonna be the one begging my child to watch blood Frozen. Childhood rules. So yeah, I = bothered.

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English Class

You guys already know the answer to this one. HELL NO. I don’t need a class to tell me how to overthink every little word because that is in my genes bitch. These teachers also don’t even do there job. They just stand in front of the class waiting for us to explain a word we haven’t even heard before. These bitches be learning from Dora or some shit. Instead of asking “what is your name” and waiting 10 minutes, they be asking “WHY is your name” and waiting 10 minutes. What the fuck does that even mean? I guess Swipper took all the fucks because I can’t give one. I = unbothered

Trick Question

What I mean by this is the questions mums and dads ask that make it seem like you have a choice but there really isn’t. I mean just tell me to do something and, yes I will complain, but like then you are just being honest with me which is better ya know. I can NOT be bothered with the let-down when you say “it wasn’t a question”. I think the fuck it was. You had a “can you” at the start of the sentence which, if I remember correctly, signifies a question. So just get the pain done and over with. I = unbothered.

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Gifts

Now, I don’t want to seem rude but like I never know what to get anyone and I hate having to think of something suitable for the person and for the amount of time we know each other. The worst thing is buying for boys because there is literally nothing I can get them that they don’t already have. Although the good thing is, the only boy I have to get gifts for now is my dad so it is all good. But yeah, over all, gifts are stressful as fuck and I would prefer to show them what they mean to me in a different way. Can I be bothered? No.

Clothes Shopping

Yes, I am a teenage girl, and yes, I don’t like clothes shopping. I mean if you think about it, it is boring as hell. All the clothes now a days are so… out there, and I am not a very out going person so I don’t like to wear clothes that are adventurous. Wow, everyone reading this definitely now thinks I am a hermit crab… but you can’t prove that 😮 Now, don’t get me wrong, I do like me a few new clothes, but when I have to go and find something I just can’t find something I actually like and then I get exhausted and in the end it is just my mum throwing stuff in the basket that my 8 year old cousin would probably wear. I prefer to buy clothes if I haven’t planned it or if I am just on a wee trip with the mates, ya know. So yeah, I could not be bothered.

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Arguing

My sister’s are very… opinionated. They don’t take shit from nobody and always speak there mind. Which is a good thing, don’t get me wrong. I mean I respect that. The thing is, I am not. I don’t like to argue with people for reasons and I just agree with them, to an extent I guess. There are things I am concrete about and I will body slam people if they disagree. But no, if I said something I found out and they were like “that’s not true” I would be like “oh ok then” and move on. Or if I liked someones music and they were like “that is utter crap” I would be like, yes it is, and never listen to it again. So yeah, arguing is not my cup of tea. UNBOTHERED.

LOL so these are just a few this I wanted to say in this. These weren’t really about current events, but I could not be bothered. Yup, you got another one. I’ll see what I can do for you next time though. Comment below if you agree with any of these or if you have anything else that you can or can’t be bothered with and maybe I will mention them in my next post 😮 Please like, comment, and subscribe if you liked this content. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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What Makes A Job Important?

When we grow up, we are told that doctors, teachers, lawyers and politicians are important. That, if we want to get an impactful job, these are the ones to go for. But I have been thinking lately, because a couple of years back I had been talking to someone working in my house and something clicked with me.

So, a cheeky wee story time guys. We had a man over who was covering up a huge hole in our wall and doing the plastering and stuff, whatever you call it. My mum made him a cuppa tea and told me to bring it up to him and, being the EXTREMELY extroverted character I was happy to help :/ but no, he was actually nice LOL. Anyways, so here I was, going up the stairs and I was like “tea question mark”:o and he was like “yup” :/. But then as I was going down the stairs we were just having a wee chit chat and he was like “what age are you?” so I slapped him on the face and ran away because stranger danger. No, sorry I will stop with the jokes. But I was like “15” and he was like “do you know what you want to do when you grow up” and I was like “have a life”. Ok sorry that was my last one I swear. I said a police woman maybe and he was like “that’s good. Just stay in school so you don’t end up doing plastering like me”. And that is when it clicked in my head. I wish I had said this to him but then again I was like 30 years younger and half his height so I didn’t want to look stuck up giving a pep talk to an adult. But what I realised is that he thinks his job is unimportant and that it should be avoided, but the thing is, if there were no plasterers, then everybody’s house would go to utter shit. If we didn’t have him to help us, my dad would have ended up doing a crap job at it and our house would be ugly as fuck (sorry dad). So who’s to say his job isn’t important but I know that I am greatful for his work because now our house looks nice again. Yes, maybe the whole world can’t tell that but sometimes helping one person can make a big difference in their life.

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And another thing similar to this is like when someone has to work at McDonalds or a store for the rest of their lives. Yes, maybe they may not have wanted to this, but we can’t judge them for it because they make that business work. We couldn’t have a shop without a cashier or someone to restock the shelves because nothing would go the way it is supposed to. They may not seem like glamorous jobs but they are so important. We kind of just gotta look at the big picture of things because a lot of times people don’t realise how much someone means to them until they are gone. So if all the Tesco’s workers disappeared, we would be freaking out because now we don’t know where things are. We can’t return anything, all the shelves are empty, people are stealing things, causing fights, there are messes everywhere. So whether you are a worker out there who feels like there job doesn’t make an impact, just think of what would happen if you all disappeared. Let’s even say you cut the grass for a living. If all of you disappeared, there would be gardens that would grow so disgustingly long that the street isn’t pretty anymore. So many things are growing and crawling in there and they feel disappointed in their garden. But the fact that you guys are here means that people can look outside and feel proud of the place they live in. People driving by will see the street and think, damn, that is beautiful, right? And to those who judge people who don’t have a typical ‘important’ job, just know that the job they do is obviously important and if we didn’t have them we would really struggle, so have some compassion and thank them for their work because they are so important for how the community functions.

So I hope that meant something to someone. It really is true. Every job has importance and although it may be not be obvious at first thought, just think what would happen if your job didn’t exist. What would happen? What would that change for people? How would the world look? No matter the job, people will appreciate you. I mean I still appreciate the plasterer even after a couple of years because no my house, my home, is comfortable and complete. Keep your heads up and don’t let anyone put you done. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.


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‘What The Fuck’ Moments I’ve Had

In my 15 years of life, I have surprisingly a lot of good stories. I can look back at them now and think why the fuck did I not body slam that person? So yeah are a few of these moments, enjoy lol

The Day I Was Born

So I was born and the first thing I thought was, “the AUDACITY of this bitch to birth me”. I think if I were to go through this again I would definitely decide not to become an embryo

Concert

So this was a few years back. And before you think I am such an outgoing person, this was with my dad, sister and her friend so I’m not that popular. Anyways, so I was just vibing, as you do, and then this old man was proper hammered and he was going around literally jumping on people as though they were his best mates. As a teen girl I was already a tad bit skeptical so I tried not to give him any attention. Then he came up literally dancing away and then he stopped, leaned back, put his glasses down a wee bit and then bloody LOOKED ME UP AND DOWN and here was me literally terrified and I was like what the fuck do I do. But then finally he left and I was like, I defo should’ve absolutely slammed his face. But yeah lol, getting hit on my an ancient old man really is not the thing I was wanting.

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Lady Like

This story actually happened in school a couple years ago. Me and my friend went throw this annoying phase where we kept trying to trip each other up and then I went to trip her up in the line to get to class and then one of the ICT teachers walked by me and was like ‘that’s not very lady like’. I looked back at him like, I would beat you up if you weren’t an adult or my teacher. Not lady like bitch I wasn’t trying to. The audacity of men scares me

Making My Way Down Town

Lol this was actually last year (why do I keep saying when everything happened as if you give a fuck) and it was a really warm day for once so ya know, me and my friends were having the summer vibes. They were having a hot girl summer, but not me LOL anyways, so yeah, we were like, lets go be basic white girls and get ourselves some iced coffee. While we were walking down IN BROAD DAYLIGHT ON A BUSY STREET, this man walks up beside us and starts talking to us about ‘where you going’, ‘I really like this place’. Bare in mind he was like late 40’s and we are like 15-16 so we were a bit sketched out as you would be. So we kind of stopped for a second to see if he would leave, he didn’t so we were like ‘fuck it’ and we just went to get coffee. This man FOLLOWS us in and just waits at the front door as we order. Then we sit down with our drinks and starts talking to us. We kinda scared but don’t wanna show it obviously, and finally he walks out again. That man didn’t even buy a drink so I don’t know what the fuck he thought he was gonna do. So yeah, that happened.

We Care, Buuuuuuttt…

Ok, this was 2 days ago literally. This had me literally crying in class. That’s not a joke, I just had tears. Here I was in English class, that says enough already, and she had another bloody talk about how we are going through so much. Wait, the first thing is that she literally goes on about the fact that we don’t even have it bad. Bitch! Why? You know that isn’t true right? Anyways, then that bitch went on to say, ‘you know that book you haven’t looked at in like a year and you have already done a bunch of tests on? Well we just randomly decided that you need to write an essay on it because you don’t give a flying fuck about you guys.’ So yeah, I cried and now and fully want to jump out the window 🙂

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These Boys Ain’t Shit

So my first relationship was kind of… how will I put it? Utter shit, yes that’s what I was looking for. When I tell you I could write a book on this man, I mean it. But I am gonna name 2 things. So, I planned for us to go out to a movie with him after weeks of trying to get him to find time for me and then the day before this man texts me saying he can’t make it and I was like ‘why’ and he was like BECAUSE I NEED TO WATCH STAR WARS WITH MY DAD. This is no joke, he said that. He dad wasn’t sick or anything, they had all watched star wars already so there was absolutely no reason to watch it. I said ok because I thought that is what I deserved in the relationship LOL. And the second one. We were in a relationship for 2 years +. I hated it at that point because I thought I was such a bad person and that’s why he never messaged me. Tell me why the literal first time he texted me first was to break up with me. Yup, he broke up over text. The only thing I regret is not being the one to dump him

Fire At Grannies House

Ha! So when I was a literal foetus, it was Christmas and I had my cousins round and we were all at my grannies. Just for context, these were the cousins on my mum’s side so you know it was a good time. We made a fort, we played mums and dads, all that jazz. Then we went to play with legos, as you should. Then my dad is just outside the door like ‘hmm, I smell fire’:o Tell me why there is a fucking fire ball in the living room! I’ll tell you why. We left a pillow on top of one of the lamps and that bitch was blazing. The thing is, it was right next to the curtains so my granny’s house was close to being on fire but luckily it didn’t. And then it was just me and my cousins watching our uncles carry out this crisp pillow and lamp. Ah memories

Anyways, they are just a few of the stories I have. I hope you enjoyed them because some are quite funny, other’s are just a bit concerning to be honest. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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Why Do I Find Everything Embarrassing?

I don’t know if it is because my older sister judged me for everything or if society has raised me to be a ‘follower’ but i get embarrassed by a majority of things. But the thing is, I won’t find it embarrassing for anyone else who does it. For example, I think it would be so fun to start a tiktok because at the moment I feel like I annoy my friends on my private story by adding to many skits. But the thing is, it is NOT socially accepted in my school or by my sister so I don’t do it. But then when I see anyone else on tiktok I think they are the coolest people so yeah LOL

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This blog has been the biggest jump out of my comfort zone to be honest and I only did it because, 1- you can’t see my face (I hope) and 2- I haven’t told anyone about it :o. But I found that I really enjoy it because it is just a wee way to get my head outta the shed if ya know what I mean. But yeah. I am quite chuffed to do something public. I also actually created another blog LOL which is more for making money online, it is called affiliateen, so you can go check it out or whateva. So here I went from not doing anything out of the norm, to having 2 blogs. Yes it may seem small, but it seems cool for me.

I feel like the next big step for me would be making a podcast. I really want to make one and I think it would be bloody fun but the thing is, you would hear my voice. This will be troublesome because someone might recognize me and I