Money Can’t Solve Your Pro… Shut The Fuck Up

In the wise words of Ariana Grande, “whoever said money can’t solve your problems must not have had enough money to solve ’em” and I live by that honestly. It is true though. Like a lot of my problems are caused by money but can also be fixed by them soooo. But every time I hear that phrase, I just think of the mugs that we all got as a kid and it would say “money can’t buy happiness but it can buy you cupcakes” and we would literally eat it up. We thought we were so fucking relatable when we had bloody chocolate milk in that mug or something like that. That’s what I hate though whenever I tell people I want to get rich and live the life I want and they are like “but money isn’t everything. It can’t solve your problems” and I just look at them like “I don’t give a flying fuck if it doesn’t solve my problems. It would be impossible to solve that many. Even my therapist can’t do it bitch, but I would rather be depressed in Greece under the sun with a lovely view, than stuck in Northern Ireland with the view of bloody chavs roaming around the streets. You get me? I mean which one do you prefer? Be honest.

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And I think that having a lot of money wouldn’t solve all my problems, but it could solve someone else’s. I want to do charity work in Africa or something or like give a homeless person a house, but if I don’t have the money, what the fuck am I going to do? Walk up to a homeless person and say “you see that house there. That is yours… is what I would say if I have the money but I don’t” *walks away* I mean that doesn’t sound fair to me. And I don’t see why people get so pressed whenever you talk about wanting lots of money. Like I’m just talking to my family or something and I’m like “yeah I want to get rich and travel the world” and they look at me like I just turned into fucking Donald Trump and as though I’m a disappointment for wanting to be successful. Mum and Dad just be like “I thought we brought you up well! I can’t believe you’ve just done this!” *me laughing because I am now thinking of that one vine*

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Yeah, I hope other people got that reference because that would be quite embarrassing if you didn’t. But back on topic. Why is it that people think money is such a bad thing. When people win the lottery, others are like “awk you don’t even need all that money, why did they even take the money oh my god” and I don’t know if they are just jealous or something but like if someone went up to you and was like “well done you won the lottery of £20 million” and you were like “no it’s ok I don’t really want it. Thank you” and they are like “but you literally bought a fucking ticket for it” and then your like “money doesn’t solve your problems, so no thank you” and then the guy says “£20 million fucking will you dumb fuck”. Like honestly, you entered it for a reason. So many people do. Do you want to not win it? Do you just like to complain that you never get it, when in reality you would just throw it away if you won. Like yes it is a lot of money but it doesn’t mean they are just gonna wipe their ass with it. They probably will donate some or do something nice with it. It isn’t their fault for entering a lottery like normal. They didn’t harry potter the fuck out of the numbers so they won. It is all by chance. So like why are people judging them the fuck! Make it make sense please because right now I would be loving a couple million in the bank.

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I could list about 100 problems that money could solve for me. That isn’t even a joke. I wouldn’t have to go to school or work ever again, I could travel and see things I never would have been able to see, I could help the less fortunate, I would have more of a voice, I could actively do things to improve the planet, I could do things like skydiving that I have never done before, I could pay for my mum and dad to never go to work again, I could support so many of the people I love. But then again that would make me selfish, no? I think it would be pretty bloody great to get a load of money you know. So to whatever numskull first said “money can’t solve your problems”, I dare you to win the lottery and find out what it solves, because hopefully it could fix your fucking brain for thinking money won’t do anything. But here’s what I will do. I will try my hardest to become rich and gather a lot of money, and then I will be the judge that will end the question of whether or not it solves my problems and at the moment, my guess is that it will, so just wait a few years and I’ll get back to you *sips wine from “money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you cupcakes”mug*

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Thank you so much for reading this post. It was a tad random, but lets be honest, it was necessary. Who else thinks that money could solve their problems? I know that some of mine could. Not all of them like but money can also pay for a therapist which could help. I don’t know, but hopefully we will find out. Please like, comment and subscribe if you enjoyed this content and I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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