So I know this is quite a broad topic guys. I know what I am getting myself into. An existential crisis. But I am ready for it you know. I am ready to question life and everything there is to do about it because… to be honest, I’m bored and don’t have anything else to do, so lets go ahead and get this started together.
Did you know that if all our empty space was taken away from out atoms, a single person would fit into a grain of sand. And did you know that if the whole universe had the space between the atoms taken away that it would fit inside a sugar cube. I mean this bitch really taking grandpa in my pocket to a whole new level. And then also, if you took an atom and made it’s nucleus into the size if a peanut, then the electrons would be the size of a fucking tennis court! I am not even joking with you guys! That is true! To be honest, I think electrons are definitely a “pick me” type of person. Like was there any need to be so large. And also take up so much fucking space. I mean what is the point of that. Does the nucleus have a bloody restriction order from the electrons because I don’t blame it, it seems like a sassy bitch. But like 99.99999999…% of an atom is just empty space but then how the fuck is everything solid. How the actual hell can we not just break things so easily. How are things bloody solid! And if the electrons, protons and neutrons are all just energy how the hell do they come to make something solid and is there some sort of connection between them that means they don’t go out of line. How do they make up everything? Yet are literally pretty much nothing. And how do we know that it is 99.99999999…% empty space? We haven’t gotten anything small enough to be able to see it, yet we literally see this as a fact.
So many things now a days are a theory, but like surely after all this time you would have figured something out as a fact. Like we are just prepared to believe everything aren’t we. If a scientist came out and said “we are all fucking caterpillars who just haven’t turned into butterflies yet!” the world would literally eat it up. We would all go around thinking how crazy it is that we are all caterpillars and then bitches would be going around saying “oh my it all makes sense now. That is why when we die we get angel wings or devil wings” as though it was clear all along. Like the actual fuck! But then there are still people who are like “oh my god get that vaccine away from me! It contains a whole fucking laptop in it that will slowly poison me, make a clone of me, fly to the sun to their secret base and then come back home to eat the hearts of children!”. I think that is why I couldn’t be a nurse or a doctor because I would actually have to just slap them in the face and shout “you actual dumb bitch. You update your fucking Facebook friends every time you take a shit so obviously you aren’t that private. I’m going to have to call a cleaner for all the crap that just came out of your mouth. Why the fuck would we want to track your boring ass anyways? So we can see how long it takes to get to the manager’s office, Karen?! Huh! Don’t flatter yourself bitch”. Wow that went off topic a bit
What other things are kinda weird? Hmm, well I guess this is kinda the same thing but like the beginning of the universe and I guess the universe now. I mean you are telling me that all the mass that has ever been in the universe or ever will be has been here since the very beginning of time. I was there (well, I mean my atoms were) and you and everyone else. The floor you stand on the air you breathe and we were all confined withing a dense ball that just happened to be here somehow. Like how did that mass just happen to become a thing and if matter can’t be created or destroyed then how was it created in the first place?! Answer me that science. Oh and I would like to say that I am not saying this from a religious perspective, it really just boggles my mind. But moving on, like how did it just burst one day and what was it in? What did it burst into? What is outside the walls of the universe? How do we know that the universe is still expanding? Is someone out there looking? Because what if you get to the end and then you are like “what the fuck do we do now?” like are you expecting there to be a door or some guy just walks out like “shit I didn’t think you would get here so early” and then just restart the universe. And what I also have to admit is that, if the world was a whole simulation, I couldn’t give a shit. Like who cares. Nothing else will really change. And if my life happened to be the Truman show, I also wouldn’t care. I mean that would be pretty cool. Everyone knows me, everyone (hopefully) likes me, and most likely I won’t even become broke because they want to make good TV not just a bum on the street. I mean I hardly doubt it is but like what’s the big problem?
So yeah, I guess that is a bit of it. I am sure you know that this isn’t all of everything so I might have to make another post about this on a later date, but, for now, my 99.99999999% empty space, atom made, universe old, Truman show ass is tired, so I will see you later I guess. Don’t forget to like, follow and comment if you liked this type of content. I also just wanted to mention that, if you want, I mean you obviously don’t have to lol, there is a wee space below where you can like donate money to my blog so that I can keep doing this type of stuff in the future. Anything helps, but like if you don’t want to give a stranger money, that’s fine, but maybe you could leave a like or something. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT
We love a good self-deprecating post. It is kinda fun though because it is easy and I can say anything I want about myself and I won’t offend anyone, unless you are literally the exact same as me. Multiverse?! But yeah, some of these things are kinda basic but, being a person with a typical … Continue reading Things That Make Me Feel Stupid (well, more than usual)
I feel like a common theme with my content and the titles is that they all seem like I am about to go into some political talk as though I am about to rant about taxes or other Karen shit, but like it really isn’t, so I don’t know if I attract the wrong audience … Continue reading My Honest Opinion On Public Transport | Hint – NOT Ideal
Ok guys, we aren’t about to get into some existential shit today because I don’t think I can take that at the moment, but I guess it kinda will be but like to a certain extent, so kinda just be warned about that but lets get started into it. This is another weekly reminder post … Continue reading It’s All About Perspective
Hey guys, another week has gone by and for a lot of us, we may be going back to school next week. Well, I am anyways. I have a total of 18 exams in the next 5 weeks, all which goes towards my GCSEs (aka decides my future) so to say I am scared would be an understatement. Have I revised? No. Will I revise? I have no clue bitch. But I guess I just want to make this weekly reminder about the fact that, just because you are finding revision and school hard to get done, doesn’t mean you are lazy or dumb. Here’s what I mean
For the past year we have been chucked left and right, up and down, with no support or recognition. Yes, the government say they “understand” us, but they fucking don’t. Yes I can hear that they seem sympathetic, but answer me this, what have they done about it? What teenager have they seriously talked to about how they have been affected? What have they solved? Well, for the UK, the answers are, they have brought all the exams forward with little understanding of what we are being tested on or help with the topics. They have asked no teenager about their feelings and have just went off of stereotypes like “the reason they are struggling is because they are on their phone all day” or “they just don’t like school and that is why they are failing, they need to grow up”. And to answer, what have they solved… I have no fucking clue. I guess they are trying to give us a fair shot on predicted grades. Oh wait, but they gave us no warning of tests, with little preparation while a lot of us are in an unhealthy mental state. Hmm, I guess they eventually got us all back into school. Oh, but we have been bombarded with work and stress and little time to breather or settle in. You see, the thing with our generation is that we don’t openly show our emotions, or at least not in a way other generations would understand. I don’t know about everyone else, but for me there is a bad stigma around struggling mentally and when we speak up about an issue, it is seen as “disrespectful”. Then when everything gets to much and a tragedy happens, they wonder why we didn’t speak up and so they have an assembly. Then the cycle starts again. We miss a homework, the teacher gets mad, we tell them it is because we are struggling, they ignore us, something bad happens, they never learn from their mistakes.
You see, when you miss a homework, or when you don’t have the energy to revise, it is OK. And I don’t care what your mum, dad, carers, teachers, anyone, says because they have no fucking clue what is going on. Not the faintest fucking idea. And I have no clue what your situation is right now, but I know that there is something going on in your life. Whether it is just Corona or something else, you have something going on and I hear you. Don’t let anybody make you feel weak for the way you feel, or downplay the severity of your problems because it is not your fault and you need to know that. Shit happens, but for you, too much shit has happened. I am sure missing homework or failing exams is the least of your worries and that is just how these feelings are being expressed. Yet nearly every teacher is blind to that fact. They don’t see you thoughts, they don’t know your story, they don’t see the real you. So no matter how much they harass you, just understand this isn’t your fault and I am not gonna promise you it will get better soon because I don’t fucking know. I sure hope it does, but I can’t promise that. All I can say is that you aren’t alone. You have your whole class behind you, you have me behind you and no teacher can fully understand what you are feeling at the moment. Maybe you don’t even understand, that’s ok though. Life has been changing every single day since the beginning of 2020. News changes, families change, school changes, our routine changes. And just when we feel a bit settled in to one way of life, it is shifted. I know that for me, one of the many reasons I struggle with doing things such as homework or studying is because I feel as though it is going to change, as though I will start to revise and it will all be cancelled. As though I will have to go through all the mental pain of school and then all the mental pain of realizing it was all a waste. These past years have been filled with so much pain and we just don’t want that to continue any longer.
So, if you were to take one thing from this post, let it be the power to not let people make you believe that you are just lazy and that you are overreacting, but that you are confused and tired or the changes and pain. You are so strong and not doing homework doesn’t diminish that. Don’t let ANYBODY tear you down or make you feel less of yourself. Do you realise how much you have gone through to get to this moment? It is amazing how you have made it this far. Nobody knows your journey apart from you, so don’t let them write your future. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.
For many, this question is easy to answer. They know they want to move onto A levels, then go to uni and get a job. I used think that I was one of those people, until now. The year I am making this move.
I know that a lot of people are making this life changing decision now, and you might be one of the lucky people who have it all sorted. For me, I am stuck. For as long as I can remember, I wanted to be a police woman. I wanted to help people out, be out and about, and I just found it interesting over all. I just supposed that I would go to university because that is what everyone did. But now so much has changed and while I do have the idea of being a police woman, I don’t know how I am going to get their. Right now, I want to drop out. I never wan to go back to school or be so controlled like that all the time, but there are so many things making me stay in school.
For one, how will I get a job when I am only 16. I mean I can’t just lay at home all day and laze around because my parents would not be happy would that and, frankly, neither would I. I am gonna be honest, blogging was one of my ideas to earn money for a living so I could drop out, although I found out that I do actually enjoy it. I mean I would love for this to work out but what if it doesn’t. What is my backup plan. I can just sign up for being a police woman and start my training but I always feel as though I will be looked down upon as that young girl who dropped out of school. And currently it is hard to find jobs because of, well, corona.
Secondly, is being a police woman right for me. That’s the thing. What if I drop out and find I don’t get in or I don’t like the job. What if I drop out and my ‘dream job’ was a failure. Lately I have also been having doubts about even trying because, if I am being honest, I have kind of been warming to the idea of acting. I think that would give me great opportunities in life and then, hopefully, I can use my platform to get my voice heard and others about problems in the world. Because I mean, who would listen to one police woman? Also the stigma around the police at the moment. I hate how they have shown themselves as racist, blood thirsty animals. They just attack and think they are above the law and I never want to be associated with that. I would never do something like that and even though I can tell others that, they probably wont believe me. And they have every right to not believe me because all we see are how crap and corrupted they are. I never want to be accused of something like that. And how could one young girl go in and save that. Why would they listen to me. And that is kind of why I am questioning that decision and that it would be a good idea to build up my voice in the world. The problem is, I live in Northern Ireland. So how the hell am I supposed to build up auditions and feature in serious films or series? Honestly though, please do comment if you have any tips or opportunities.
Another reason I am stuck is because I often wonder, what if I am wasting my life? I am not trying to rub this in people’s face, but I get good grades in school. I work hard, I am well behaved in school. And when I think about dropping out I get anxious that I am wasting my hard work by not putting it to use and ‘helping the world’ in some way. The thing is, I am not smart. I am just book smart. I have to revise for all my exams. I work hard but still forget so much stuff. I am not like others who just remember stuff and can do great things. All I can do is revise, but I hate it. It literally makes me scared though to think of dropping out and missing so many experiences and becoming lonely. What if I miss all that and don’t even get anywhere with my life. When I tell you I can NOT end up in a 9 to 5 job, I mean it. That just would not work for the type of person I am. I can’t put into words the anxiety of dropping out though. Not really about jobs and money, but about what I could be throwing away. What if I should do this or that because I am ‘smart. What if I could of made a difference or gone into a really important job. I just don’t know what that is. I am literally getting stressed thinking about it, but I don’t want to let my parents down by throwing away the knowledge that they have given me. This talent to learn that others would want. I know that sound stuck up but I feel bad for misusing my intelligence and ability to revise.
My last point for today, about how I feel stuck in my decision is just the whole formality of it. I don’t want to live a life where I go to school, go to uni, get a job, retire, and then die. I don’t want to be in debt my whole life with the bills I have to pay for my uni which got me working a repetitive job which means nothing to me. I want to be able to be financially free. I don’t want a job. I want a career. A way of life that I love. Where I don’t hate Mondays. I work because I want to, not because I have to. I want to have a family and be free and enjoy my life. But for me I feel like uni would stop that. As though I would step into the school gates and be locked behind a bars of debt forever. Never getting where I need to be. Always worrying about paying the electricity bill. I just don’t know why people have made uni such a ‘need to do’ part of life. I don’t want to be dragged down by this. I don’t know what I will do without it but I can’t have that stress of revision and thoughts about my future in my life. How would I be able to handle such important tests, meeting new people, going to parties. But then again I am scared to miss that.
Over all, I am just scared.
Thank you for reading that and I hoped that other people related to that and now know that they aren’t alone. These are hard decisions and it sucks we have to make them at such a young age. Please like, follow, and donate some money so I can keep all of my content free for everyone. I also have some great promo codes for you and a great app that I found for earning extra money. I love you all and hope you know that it will all be worked out eventually. It may be hard, but you will get their. Just stay the bad bitch you are PERIODT.
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If you follow my blog, which you obviously should because duh, then you will have read my past post about the literal bloody history they are making us do on a day off, and yes I am still pissed about it. Well, I did it this morning and even though I did(n’t) cheat, It was fucking hard and I barely got it finished. No joke, in basically every history class they are like ‘YoU gUyS WonT hAVe EnOuGh TiMe To dO tHiS JuSt So YoU kNoW’. And I am here just looking at them blankly like ‘WELL THEN WHY THE HELL DON’T YOU GIVE US MORE TIME!’ and that is what I want to talk about today, unhealthy expectations in school.
So let me rant a bit more about this whole history crap. On the first day of GCSE history class my teacher literally was like ‘hey guys, welcome to history, so I just want to talk about your exams. You will only have 45 minutes for the USA section. Now, to put that into perspective, this paper was usually given 1 hour to complete and students struggled to do it in that time. Now lets go onto economic boom.’ Bitch back the fuck up. What went through your mind to think, oh they struggle to finish in the time, suck it up and do it in less time. Like what the hell. And no, they didn’t shorten the paper. It is the same bloody length. I be looking across the room to see if anyone else just heard this crap like :0 and they be acting like it is no big deal. And if you don’t do history or are from america, we do not getting bloody multiple choice questions for any of our classes. We have to learn the work word for word and we cant just have a bloody guess. In English we are given an hour to write and essay. In history we are given 45 minutes for an essay plus 4 other, kind of big, questions. I don’t give a fuck how Ford created the assembly line in 1913. Anyways, rant over.
What I am trying to say is that the schooling system, in the UK at least, is so unfair. I mean how the hell do you expect me to learn, word for word, decades of history, the freaking essence of a leaf, while working out the meaning of life, Like I can’t do that shit. I can barely do my times tables bitch. Every time I get up in the morning and pack my bag, which only holds a max of 3 folders, if I want to look like a first year, so I have to hold 2 massive ones around with me, I actually do that hysteric laugh. You know the one where you are just like what the fuck is going on with this world and you have nothing else to do but just laugh through the pain. I swear to god my back be squished as hell. School really do be stunting my growth. But back to the school work. How the hell do they want me to study 9 different topics, in depth, while doing homework, having a life, and then doing tests that go towards my FUTURE, in only a couple of weeks. Like my teachers be here teaching one subject and are like ‘guys. I know how you feel. I just had to mark 20 essays throughout the past 2 months that I set my students for the next day. You are heard’. And I’m like OK miss audacity, who gave you the right to complain about something you did to yourself. Go back home bitch, you can’t relate.
Do you know what doesn’t make sense to me? When teachers at the start of the year are like ‘hey guys, I am a cool teacher. I don’t like giving out homework.’ and then they end up being the ones to give me the most homework and they just sit there thinking they are so ‘cool’ and ‘relatable’. Bitch, get your feet of the desk and tell the bloody truth. We are getting lied to enough in this world and we don’t need more of this ~foolery~ interrupting out lives. Just tell the truth, oh my god. I don’t really see the point of homework anyways but that is besides the point. They literally put so much pressure on it as though it is going to decide your future. They shout at you when you don’t finish it for the day because ‘of course you have time to do it. You just don’t care’ and then when someone is reported to have really bad mental health they are like ‘guys you can always talk to me. I only want the best for you.’. And we are like it is too late for you to be switching up the truth you two faced bitch. MAKE IT MAKE SENSE. Give us a break for god sake and stop complaining about marking the homework that YOU SET. I don’t care about how you were up until like 6pm with a glass of red wine because I was up until 10pm, which is decent for my age group, with a bloody head ache. If you keep saying you understand us then why do you keep making our lives a living hell.
But literally though, can any teachers please tell me why you set us out to fail. Of course in some tests you want to make us think a bit about what we learned. I understand that. But why do you deliberately try to trick us and then call us out. If I am studying plants then don’t expect me to know what is the surface area of an atom. I don’t know and I didn’t have to so don’t link it to the subject in some bizarre way like ‘well plants are made up of atoms so really it is your fault.’. What is this? A fucking play ground. It is like when that one kid says ‘you know the word pizza? How do you spell it’ and then they would be like ‘AHAHAHA I TOLD YOU TO SPELL IT, NOT PIZZA’ like seriously though. Stop expecting us to know everything when we clearly don’t know and don’t care.
For my final point, for this post at least, is, why do you expect us to respect you if you don’t respect us. Not everyone goes into a class with the aim of hating a teacher. It is when you abuse your power, shout at us all the time, and treats us like children in this place where half of us do not want to be. You have to know that we wont always be in a good mood and we know you wont as well. But if we don’t really feel like speaking in class, don’t make us. You always tell us to be quiet but when we are you don’t like that. OK, if we don’t speak for a few classes then you should go talk to them, but in private. Don’t embarrass them. They may just need a bit of help. Some teachers get on really well with their students because the actually achieve their promises. They understand what we go through, they listen, the help, they try hard to mix in real life with the life of school. They know we don’t all want to be there but they have made it less of a burden. These are the teachers who were born to teach. They don’t put the stress of their personal lives onto the students. They don’t expect them to complete everything on a strict time plan and they definitely do not care that you don’t know anything. In fact, that just makes them excited to teach you something new.
Anyways to conclude, the school system is a mess. People need to stop putting so much pressure on everyone. And you all need to follow, like and donate some money to support my blog.
Thank you for reading and I hoped you enjoyed. And remember, the real learning starts outside of school PERIODT.