The answer is no, but it is also a bit more complicated than that. Do I like the first day of school where everything is new, you get the new time tables, new classes, new teachers? Yes, you could say that. But in general, I really could not be arsed to go back. Lately when I talk to my friends, they are all like “yeah I think I am ready to go back to school though and I’m ready to go back to normal school life and work”. And I’m just here like “yeah totally” but in reality I just don’t want to go back. Especially as we’ll have to do those shitty tests they make you do that really make no fucking sense. Like how do they test your smartness based of whether or not you know how many holes there will be in a folded piece of paper. Like it really is a load of shite. If I was a teacher and saw that someone couldn’t mentally fold a page into a swan or some shit, I wouldn’t be thinking he was dumb, I would think he has more important things to understand, and surprisingly origami isn’t one of them.
I don’t know if my friends are a bunch of NERDS (jokes I love them) but they are prepared and talking about how they want to go back because we have been off so long and I just join in because I don’t want to be that one bitch that goes “I actually couldn’t give a shit if I were to never go back to school. Like I’m done with this hoe and I don’t want to start” because they would disown me. I think I’ll just go because I have nothing else to do and I don’t want to end up living at my parents house for the rest of my life and become the creepy auntie who is always way too drunk and getting way too close for comfort. And I always try to come up with these money making plans and they never turn out the way I want. I do keep going with them too be honest. I mean this blog was one of the attempts, but it is what it is and maybe some day I can drop out of school and do my own thing.
I’m going into lower 6th, which is the second last year of high school, so it is the first voluntary year of school. So technically I don’t have to be there. I don’t really know what that is gonna do for my motivation because it could kinda be one of those situations where you are excited to do something but then when someone tells you to do it, you turn into a stubborn bitch and don’t want to do it anymore. Or maybe I just won’t try because there is no pressure of me having to go there. The one perk though is that we get a separate we area in the school that only the 6th years can go into because we are obviously the elite. And now we can be the intimidating ones that tower over all the first years and are best mates with all the teachers. Well, maybe not that last point because I am still socially awkward.
We also only have to do 3 or 4 classes now which is good but I feel like it will still be just as much work and that makes me want to die. I picked 4 classes (chem, geo, business studies and Spanish) but I’m planning to drop one in the first month or so. It’s a good plan like so that if I find I don’t like one, most likely chemistry, I can drop it and not have to worry about it. But at the moment I can’t be arsed doing any and I’m scared I’m gonna hate them all or maybe drop the wrong one. It’s a possibility. And the first timetable I have won’t have as many study breaks and that might freak me out, but it will be fine right. It’s also gonna be so scary to tell a teacher that I want to leave their class. Like I don’t need to say it to them, but leaving implies I don’t like what they have devoted their life to. Likes like the biggest insult of all time. I am also shitting myself for the smaller classes. My Spanish class will defo be small and that is so scary because I will have to answer more and I can’t just hide in the back. What if everyone there is fucking annoying and I just have to vibe there for the next 2 years. What if we are the boring class that they hate to teach? What if I turn out to be shite at the subject?
Maybe living in my parents house forever isn’t all that bad. Maybe I can be the fun drunk aunt who always buys the alcohol, takes you shopping, gives the best advice and shouts at your parents for doing anything other than worship us. Sounds fun like. Maybe if this blog blows up I could also just leave school but I won’t put that pressure on you guys lol. Anyways, I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.
I’m not someone who is overly confident, or confident in any sense of the word to be honest, but I have found that there is something that people say when I first talk to them that instantly makes me want to get to know them and be best friends. I have also only really recognised … Continue reading The Method Guaranteed To Make a Lifelong Friend
I know that title makes me sound like I’m fucking ancient or some shit but like I am only 16. To be fair though this is me nearly becoming an adult and like is one of the biggest changes in life so I suppose I can talk about growing up. The difference between me now … Continue reading Growing up: Expectations vs. Reality
I’m in lower 6th and yes I have only been so for about 3 months but the thing is that I didn’t even know if I wanted to go back to that hell-hole. The only reason I did go was because I didn’t know what else to fucking do and I have FOMO so I … Continue reading Is 6th Year Really Worth It?
Bitches, this is gonna be one small post because really there is not much to say, but hopefully that makes some of you feel more relaxed because you can look at this and think, well, at least I am not as bad as her. Or, you never know, we could be the exact same and we will become best friends. However, if you are my teacher, this is a joke *winks dramatically*. So yeah, time to expose myself I guess.
I have to say, I do actually stick to this ‘schedule’ so I am going to take that as a positive. But yeah, so this is the studying that I do when we have nothing to do in class and we have a test that day, or when the teachers have had enough of us (I don’t blame them, some of them are actually doing my head in)
- First on the list, I get my earphones out, you know, get the study playlist going. Motivation is at top level right now and you have your books out, your in the work mindset, kinda, and I start making a wee bit of a mind map for like 5-10 minutes. At this point, I think I am the revision goddess, literally so elite and I feel I will pass all my exams. But then comes the next part
- I’m working thinking, surely like 25 or 30 minutes have passed already, this will be easy. I look up and only 3 minutes has one passed. I scream internally which, to the people who are looking at me, would think I literally just saw the ghost of fucking Christmas past or something. Then I go back to work, and at this point my motivation has dropped by, probably 75% already. So not too well. My writing is getting sloppy, I am not actually focusing on what I am writing. The music is like the theme song for my life, and my sole has basically been sucked out of me.
- Now it is time to have a complete mental breakdown. I usually try to pencil that in for a round 20 minutes before class ends, because that lets me crash so low, but not low enough that I can’t act like everything is totally fine. At this point, I have squiggled all over my page in rage (that rhymed lol) and my pen is no longer in my hand. The music and my thoughts are the only things I am concentrating on right now and it probably looks like I am having a staring competition. These are the moments I literally want to die and, if this was high school musical, the dances would be so fucking insane.
- The bell rings, I try to pick up all the peaces of my broken brain, pack up, and act like human being and say something like “that was boring” or “I actually did something that class” when in reality, nothing changed and I did fuck all, but at least my coast is clear and I nobody will know that I lost around 50% of my brain cells and overall will to live.
This really could just fit into one bullet point and that is not an exaggeration. It is also quite a rare occasion so I really needed to use my brain power to remember what I did. I am literally meant to be revising right now, but… Mum, if you are reading this, I am sorry. I just really… don’t give a fuck.
- Time to get the books out. I always pick the test I have for the next day, or the same day if I want to be a bit risky. And again, I don’t always revise the day before. So I get the books out, I have a quick panic attack because I realise this is my life and I hate it and I don’t know anything and I don’t know how to revise and I don’t know what topics it on and I don’t want to do this anymore. Then I get some pen and paper
- By now, I am mentally numb enough to start. This last for like 5 minutes because I then go for a wee pee break you know. This usually lasts a while because I just go on my phone and cry and I am really scared to leave lol
- I get back and I quickly look at this pile of crap, me, and then at the one on the table. I scan through each page with lightening speed and then make myself think that I know it all and I will be fine. Knowing very well I don’t even know what subject I have in front of me. Once I have convinced myself I know everything. I pack it away, go back to bed and cry because I actually know fuck all and I am really stressed about it but I can’t bring myself to actually do anything about it because I feel it is a waste of time and I am not going to succeed either way. Or something like that anyways.
So yeah, these are my study schedules. Do I recommend them? No. Do I stick by them? Yes. And I always will. You see, I actually don’t want to do school. Pretty much, my only passion is hating school, which is surprising to people as I am usually labelled as a smart person, or as they say in NI, a ‘sweat’. But in reality I am just a big ball of stress that want’s to please others at my own cost and at the moment I am about to burst so yeah. Quite fun, right! Anyways, I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT
But I will share some tips of what I do to prolong my survival.
For me, I like to zone out whenever I am on a useless topic. And because I am zoned out for the majority of the day, I like to create a world in my head that is even slightly better than the one I am in now. For example, I go to the deepest darkest pits of hell, that’s my favourite one. Really takes your mind of how horrible your day is. Or you could imagine that you have gone into space and your helmet falls off, the good thing about that is that I am not stuck in my house and my continuous headache actually makes sense. So yeah, 10 out of 10 do recommend
Oh don’t get me wrong. I am not researching the work we are doing ahaha definitely not. Actually, I am researching ways to make money to get out of school. My teacher is literally talking about fibre and water right as I am typing this so… I am also trying affiliate marketing so hopefully blogging and marketing will get me THE HELL OUT OF HERE. Sorry for shouting. But yeah I just have the class as ‘background music’ while I look up actual useful stuff. Multi-tasking?
LOL I am not out here literally just juggling in class, well… not all the time anyways. I just have the juggling balls for some reason and just throw it at my wall and catch it or just throw it up and down. To be fair this one is a good one to do. Definitely does help to be honest. And then you could put juggling on your resume… if you want to be a clown. But anyways it is quite the fun one.
Clean My Room
If you have got to this point during class, that is when you know you have just given up completely. Me? Yeah I have got to that point in pretty much all my classes, so yeah. But somehow my room never actually gets any cleaner. Kind of just an organised mess but I mean what else am I supposed to do? Listen?
LOL I swear I don’t talk like that in real life, but like why is this kind of a bargain. Like I literally have you hooked. I got the promo codes for you. I mean I can’t just fuel your online shopping addiction with at least helping you a bit. I am currently wearing my desert sky boutique jumper and I mean comfort is one of the most important things for online school. So yeah, I won’t snitch on you. And besides, you are just supporting small businesses.
Talk To Yourself
Firstly, don’t judge. Second, I am not crazy. Lastly, It is quite fun. You don’t have to start a bloody conversation, just talk your thoughts aloud and make whatever weird noises or songs you want because I mean who is gonna hear you? Nobody you care about anyways so. Just a warning though, MAKE SURE YOUR MIC IS OFF. Please, spare the embarrassment. It can me fun to do this because you distract yourself, you don’t just hear nothing and you can say the weirdest things that you want to. You may also find that you are quite funny, ya never know.
Anyways, you will still get bored as FUCK in the end but this will slow down the process of literal diagnosed boredom. Hope you all enjoyed this and please like, follow and donate some money so that I never have to go to school EVER again. Thank you. Have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT
No this is not a joke. Schools in the UK are closed. But what do we do now. How will we cope through this seemingly never ending third lock down.
To be honest, I have no clue. I mean it only clicked with me today how long away March is. I mean it is still January. Boris didn’t even promise that we would be back before Easter so I mean I don’t know what I should mentally prepare myself for. Although it sounds good out of context, ‘school shut until March’, we still have to do school from home and at this point I am like ‘well if I’m still doing school work I might as well be in school and seeing my friends.’. I am pretty sure I already made a post about lock down and what it has kind of done for teens and how we are so confused now. I mean yes there are vaccines going out, in fact my grandparents just got them today, but for some reason it still doesn’t feel like the end. Even when everyone gets the vaccine, I just can’t get it into my head that it will be over. I feel like that is only one step in a whole pile of them. It is going to be weird though, going back to school and normal life. It is weird to think that one day everything will be as it was before. No masks, no distancing, no google classroom (I hope). It will kind of be like we just got woken up after a really intense nightmare. One day we will be going on with life and then just stop when we get a wave of memory and we’ll be like ‘damn we used to have to put on a mask everyday.’. It definitely will take some time to not instantly reach for a hand sanitizer or to not go onto the road to distance from someone.
Why is this turning into a story time. Anyways. This is going to be really tough. For EVERYONE, this will be tough. But as a community we need to stick together. I know this probably sounds like the 10th motivational assembly you had in school but take it from me, a 15 year old, and not an old man with a ‘relatable’ power point behind him. People are going to deal with this in so many different ways. Maybe you will start an online business. Maybe you will start to paint. Maybe, you will create the next great dish that will change the world of food as we know it today. There was a phase in the second quarantine, which was utter crap because schools were still open’, where I had convinced myself I had just become great at art. I don’t know why but I just had the feeling. I don’t really know where I am going with this story but yeah. I think that the third times a charm so hey, something great might happen really soon that could change your life. Do something you usually wouldn’t do because you are scared of being judged because guess what? You aren’t gonna be going out and seeing those people anytime soon. Die your hair, cut your hair, try new make up, new clothes. If your bank account is up for it anyways.
What we all kind of forget whenever we get more bad news is that it isn’t always going to be this crap all the time. I mean 100 years ago they had a pandemic and they were able to recover from it, even though they didn’t have all the resources we have today. There are so many excellent and smart people out there who are trying their best to make the world better again for you, for me, for all of us. It will be hard to believe that, I know. I mean last year I was like damn I can’t wait for this to be over in a few months and go on holiday next year. Well, look at me now. As pale as the snow and with literal back issues from sitting all day. But just remember that some day in the future you will be smiling with a passport in hand, the warm sun on your face, and the feeling of possibility. New Zealand have done it already. I mean they got through it so well and although we are just taking a bit longer 😦 we will still get their. You will see your friends, you will see another day, and you will see a life without masks.
What I would love though is if everyone could comment down below something you have started that got you through lock down or something they plan to do to get you through this one. I think it would be a great reminder of how we are all going through this. It is a global pandemic and I know that nobody will be going through the exact same thing as you, but you aren’t alone. I promise. We will get through this. Subscribe to my blog and we can do this together. I try to upload everyday and please comment below if there is something you want mentioned and I will make sure to include all of them in my future posts. Lets just take this one step at a time. This pandemic ain’t gonna get the best of us.