To any foetus child out there who is like what the fuck are genes, basically they are the characteristics that we get from our parents and they make up who we are and what we look like. For example, I inherited my dad’s white ass Irish skin which burns like a bitch whenever a bloody tea light goes within 1 mile of it. So it’s not ideal. I also inherited his lack of eyebrows which shocked me, but you couldn’t tell because you couldn’t see my eyebrows expressions. I slightly blame my twin for that because, although it is probably scientifically impossible, I believe she robbed them from me in the womb. Unfortunately that doesn’t stand well in court so I never got back what is rightfully mine smh
I do have blonde hair which really is the only thing going for me but it is going darker and I resent that but it is what it is. Oh and I forgot to mention, I swear my twin stole my teeth because I have two missing and she’s a bit sus if you ask me. She isn’t little miss perfect after all. When she dies I swear I’ll find a long note releasing the truth. I don’t know why she would do it but like it meant that for 13 years of my life I looked like your crazy young cousin whose only personality trate is losing their teeth. And now I have fake teeth that I sometimes think will fall out. IM FUCKING 16 YEARS OLD YET I’LL LITERALLY HAVE FAKE TEETH DRILLED IN MY MOUTH AT 18. I remember one time when I had to put my fake teeth in my retainers and one day I forgot them for some dumb fucking reason and I was like dad we need to turn back and he was like no. The trauma this man caused right then was astronomical but he didn’t give a shit. I kid you not, I had to spend that whole day trying not to smile with my teeth or talk to anyone but then in one of my classes I forgot and smiled at someone and they looked at me like what the fuck and then was like “where have your teeth gone”. Keep in mind I was 13-14 so all my teeth should have fallen out and grown back so it was weird. I also regret this moment because I could have pranked them so easily by acting scared and going “oh my god where the hell did they go” but no I had to really say “I forgot them at home”. I FORGOT THEM AT HOME! What the actual fuck. No teen should have to say that they left their teeth at home. I am still recovering from that chat.
But back to what I wanted to talk about today. My pale ass skin. I kid you not, I only have two different options. White as fuck or red as fuck. Yesterday I thought I would switch it up a bit so I got burnt to a crisp. I regret it. Why do I never learn. I literally thought I could wish my way into going tan but instead I look like a fucking stop sign. It was dumb how it happened though because I must have forgotten to put suncream on like half of my legs and I didn’t realize. Like I knew my attention span was shit but I thought I could at least pay attention to this. So I had work after and I was basically cooking the meals on my legs cause they were burning so much and then when I took them off later I thought I was turning into Elmo because those bitches were RED. I basically bathed them in aloe Vera and cried because I am now currently on the way to a beach where the general public are and they can see my bright ass legs. Everyone also seems to have to point them out. Like just when I stop thinking about it someone needs to pop out from the sky and go “OH MY GOD” literally like Janice from friends “YOU ARE GLOWING” and I look at them like no shit Sherlock. I didn’t realize that my legs could double as a flare to attract planes and a heater to toast our sandwiches. Leave me and my burns alone. And of course my twin fans. That cheeky bitch. How did I get the pale skin, invisible eyebrows, missing teeth AND the mental illness 😮
Anyways that is the post and I’m glad to get that off my chest. Please feel free to comment some things you inherited from your parents or whether you relate to some of the things I have. Have fun in the sun and don’t forget suncream bitches. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT
So I was just watching the opening ceremony or the Olympics and I’m sorry but like how awkward would that be. Especially for the people that work there and just wave as they walk down and have to act as though people are watching them but like really nobody is. And then the actual athletes … Continue reading The Olympics: Awkwardness Unlocked
Bitch, I don’t know much about this movie. I mean I’ve watched it and I know the general plot but like the only thing that sticks with me to this day and the phrase that every organism is aware of is when he says “mama says life is like a box a chocolates, you neve’ … Continue reading Who Else Is Pissed At Forrest Gump’s Mum?
You see, I have been to Florida, California, Turkey, Spain and some other places and they have all been really warm. Like obviously they were roasting places, but not one of them (well, maybe Florida) roasted or toasted me like the UK does. It’s as if the sun piled up all it’s heat that is … Continue reading Summer In The UK Is No Fucking Joke
Let’s play a quick game of never have I ever. Never. Have I ever needed to hear that. Never have I ever wanted to hear that. Never have I ever felt good after hearing that. Never have I ever gone to someone’s house and they didn’t say this. Never have I ever been more offended. But literally why do people think that it would be a good thing to say to a teenage girl that they look just like an old, balding, wrinkly, angry, sore backed man. Like seriously what the fuck made you say that. There was actually one time I went to my sisters boyfriends house for some reason and I had never seen his parents before but I kid you not, the first thing they said to me was “you look just like your dad”… what dumb fuckery is that because I didn’t even know he had seen them. Like what the hell. Needless to say, I never saw them again. Highly unappreciated to be honest with you.
The saddest thing is though is that I can see it. Like they aren’t wrong. Did they need to point that out though? No. But they aren’t wrong. One time at New Years there was this thing where you had to guess who was who from their childhood photos. Don’t ask why. But we just did. And I was looking around when my sister called me over and was like “look at this” and so I did. She covered the hair of my dads picture and was like “look”. This bitch really called me out because it literally looked exactly like me. Great start to the new year am I right. Like why the actual fuck did I have to inherit his non-existent eyebrows and his literal 5 head. Not appreciated father.
But yeah, I never get compared to as my Mum but like I guess looking like my dad, while embarrassing, let’s me know I am not adopted because as a child I would be like “Oh mY GoD iM aDoPteD” just because I the only one in my whole family that has blonde hair. What do you guys get compared to. Is there anything other than your parents you get compared to or maybe even a celebrity! The only celebrity I’ve been compared to is the bloody monster from the goonies. He is such a babe though I guess.
Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this post and make sure to like and comment below if you have anything else to add. I’ll see you tomorrow for more hopefully and I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT
You guys have to agree with me when I say that a lot of things we do nowadays is heavily judged. Like there are a lot of things that people aren’t willing to admit they do because people will laugh at them and call them a basic bitch or a pick me type of person. Don’t get me wrong, there are a few things that mean that you are definitely that type of person but like some things are a bit of a stretch. So yeah, I guess I will expose myself today and show you some of the things that make me “that bitch”.
Being a blonde teenage girl, I feel like I am already set up to get judged 10 times more than others because you know, I look like the dumb blonde whose only personality trait is sipping iced coffee obnoxiously loud in class. But like I do love myself a wee iced coffee. It doesn’t have to be Starbucks I guess but Starbucks is the place you usually get judged for going to. Especially on holidays when you are literally sweating your ass off and you step into the cafe with a gust of cool air hitting you and the sound of the coffee machine. It is literally so good. I don’t know why but I love the sound of the coffee machines in cafes. So you can call me a basic bitch for liking a cheeky wee Starbucks iced coffee on a nice warm day because I won’t stop for nobody PERIODT
We are kinda focusing on the drinks today aren’t we but they are important ones to mention I think. I love water. I don’t know why but like water really hits different. When you are absolutely parched, you don’t reach for a bloody coke no matter what the ads show. You go for a freaking water and that shit is amazing. Like even at a restaurant, I might be that girl who orders water. That is partially because I am broke but like I do enjoy water. But then the one time that I do get a fizzy drink or something, there will be that one adult who is like “oooh, teens and their cokes these days, can’t get them off it”. And you just stare at them like “this isn’t fucking cocaine, like I haven’t had one in ages. I don’t have a bloody mini fridge of things like other teens do”. So yeah, I guess I’m just quirky lol. Forget I ever said that last part that was a joke lol. But despite the fact people think it is boring to like drinking water and every time you get it instead of a monster energy drink you are literally shunned from the friend group. And you know what, I am not taking it any longer. You all know that water is the best.
This one is kind of a different one because I don’t really think that a lot of people my age will relate to this but I actually like doing the dishes. It is just like so relaxing when you are doing something while just watching something on your phone and it is nice to see the pile of dirty dishes go down and then you put stuff away and it is very visually gratifying. I always like to see the results happen you know. And I bet that some guy is gonna be in the comments like “well it’s in a woman’s nature” and to that I say shut the fuck up and I am only one woman and I know that probably a majority of us don’t like it but we aren’t gonna get all political here sorry about that. But the one thing that I hate about doing dishes is when people keep putting dirty dishes in the pile and I’m like where was the fucking need. I mean since when did you have a whole fucking IKEA in your bedroom? I also hate afterwards when you have to clean the drain and there are pieces of disgusting food at the bottom. Literally the bane of my existence. I think that one of the worst punishments would be being in a bath and there are bits like those in it and so you can feel it all over. That would be hell
I know this one is about to get controversial but I swear that one day Ed Sheeran was just completely cancelled and I really have no clue why. Like I see so many things saying that people who still listen to Ed Sheeran are weirdos or they wouldn’t be caught dead listening to him but like some of his music is good. I mean would I be a crazy fan girl and buy his hair on eBay? No. But do I listen to some of the absolute classics? Hell yeah. Someone please explain what he did because I don’t know why I am supposed to be embarrassed for listening to him. He is a good singer too so that can’t be it. I swear to god, if it is because he is ginger!! Literally that would be so hilarious but like it’s 2021 guys, we gotta start getting over that ok.
I Don’t Cry at Movies
This one might seem normal at first. Like there are people who just don’t cry at some things and that’s fine, right? Well, what if I told you I didn’t tear up at “The Notebook”, “The Boy In The Stripped Pajamas” or “Marley and Me” but I did cry at “Moana”, “Inside Out” and “Little Women”. Yup, kinda a weird mix. And you know the 3 that I just said I cried at, those are the ONLY movies I have ever cried at. Well, excluding the time I probably cried at bob the builder because I was forced to watch it over and over as a baby. Bob the builder is such a show though you have to admit. But no, everyone says I have a heart of stone because while they are over there buried in tissues, I’m in the corner making fun of them. You do have to admit though, whenever Moana’s grandma dies it is so fucking sad and then when she comes back as a fucking fish and starts singing. Moana could have sailed in my tears bitch.
Anyways, I think that is all that I will mention for today. Don’t forget to leave a comment if you relate to any of these things or if you do things that others may judge you about. We probably all do it so like don’t even be worrying and even if we don’t, there is no judgment here. But yeah, like, follow and comment if you enjoyed this content and, if you can, feel free to donate some money in the box down below to help the blog keep going. Anything is appreciated. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.
To any foetus child out there who is like what the fuck are genes, basically they are the characteristics that we get from our parents and they make up who we are and what we look like. For example, I inherited my dad’s white ass Irish skin which burns like a bitch whenever a bloody … Continue reading I Hate Genes
Now, I ain’t tryna rub this in anyone’s face or nothing but like, I have a small group of really close friends and despite the fact it took me a while to get over myself and make friends, it was totally worth it because we are so close. We have never had fights like everyone … Continue reading The Best Part About Having Great Friends
You know, this title may seem harsh but like if you haven’t watched these I really do have to question your mental well-being and ask how long you have been living under a rock. Like, these shows are so elite that I had that empty feeling when it finished. You know when you get so … Continue reading If You Haven’t Seen These Shows, Don’t Talk To Me
I have made a few story times in my blog. Many of which are so bad I will probably never show my face to you guys, ever. But, as I am never going to show my face, I may as well tell you some other times that I want erased from my mind and everyone elses.
This one has literally been burned into my mind and everyone reminds me of it at random moment, just as I forget about it. So it was in first year. I was waiting outside of Latin (I know it sounds so fancy but it was crap) and it was a really busy corridor. And for some reason I was leaning against the wall with my legs out a bit and then I ducking slipped. As is that wasn’t bad enough, it was in front of a bloody teaser and they just looked at me with disgust and was like “get up of the floor”. So as if it wasn’t embarrassing enough being a first year, I had to slip in front of everyone smh
Right, so when I was younger, maybe p7 or something, I did karate. I was a proper pro so I went to competitions and at one point you had to fight someone, with gloves obviously, but that’s besides the point. So my coach was like, can you fill in for someone in their fight, and I was like of course because 1, he could literally beat me up and 2, it was fun. So here I was walking to the fight and I was like where is everyone? I look down and there they were. Literal foetuses. I looked at my mum like “is this even fucking legal” and it was so bad. I could have inialated them, but I had no clue what to do and it was so crap. I quit not long after that lol
The Tea Was Too Hot
This moment was literally so painful. So my mum made us go and meet her cousin when I was like 12 or something. I was so awkward as a kid but when she asked me about my teachers I was now a literal extrovert because there was finally something I could say about. There was this teacher that was really strict and that people were scared of, it was a Latin teacher actually, and I was telling her about the teacher. She looks at my mum and goes “ THE *teachers name*” and my heart dropped. Tell me why, out of the billions of people on this earth, this bitch had to be the teachers stepdaughter. So I just told her that everyone was scared of her mum. I can never forget this.
Zoom Call Disaster
Here I was, another day on online school. It was the last lesson before we got of for 1 week. So k was excited and exhausted you know. And by this point I was sick of the awkward silence whenever she asked something so I was like, I’m just gonna get this I over with. So I waited for someone else to go first and then I eventually spoke. No joke, someone else spoke at the exact same time as me, so it was just a second of us speaking over each other and I died inside. And I never spoke on zoom again.
Goodbyes Are Always Difficult
I think this was like 5 years ago, but I had been part of a club called ‘Guides’ with my friends. For Americans, it is basically girl scouts but sexist. They taught us to like clean and cook you know. But yeah, we wanted to quite, so at the end of our last guides holiday, they were asking us what we wanted to do in guides next year and we were like, we are kinda going to quit. Let’s just say our timing was not good because they talked to us for ages and we had to spend the rest of that day, and the hour car ride home, listening to their passive aggressive comments. What made it more embarrassing was that when they were asking us if we were leaving, I was like “well we are thinking about it but probably we might 100% be leaving”. Why am I such an awkward bitch?
Anyways, that was embarrassing so please feel free to comment if something similar has happened to you or whether you have other embarrassing stories. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT
I don’t know if it is because my older sister judged me for everything or if society has raised me to be a ‘follower’ but i get embarrassed by a majority of things. But the thing is, I won’t find it embarrassing for anyone else who does it. For example, I think it would be so fun to start a tiktok because at the moment I feel like I annoy my friends on my private story by adding to many skits. But the thing is, it is NOT socially accepted in my school or by my sister so I don’t do it. But then when I see anyone else on tiktok I think they are the coolest people so yeah LOL
This blog has been the biggest jump out of my comfort zone to be honest and I only did it because, 1- you can’t see my face (I hope) and 2- I haven’t told anyone about it :o. But I found that I really enjoy it because it is just a wee way to get my head outta the shed if ya know what I mean. But yeah. I am quite chuffed to do something public. I also actually created another blog LOL which is more for making money online, it is called affiliateen, so you can go check it out or whateva. So here I went from not doing anything out of the norm, to having 2 blogs. Yes it may seem small, but it seems cool for me.
I feel like the next big step for me would be making a podcast. I really want to make one and I think it would be bloody fun but the thing is, you would hear my voice. This will be troublesome because someone might recognize me and I hate my voice lol. The good thing though is you can’t see my face. I don’t think that will ever happen unless I become famous or something. Sia? Minus the ablest part tho Yeah I don’t know if I should have joked about that but she is a wee bit of a cheeky fuck for being one. And I’ll say it again PERIODT.
Where was I going with this? Oh yeah, so I think that everything I do is embarrassing but if someone else does them it isn’t, meaning I don’t do stuff that I really want to because I don’t want to be bullied. I think it would be fun to do TikTok, have a YouTube channel, a podcast and more stuff like that but I don’t know. It do be like that tho. So yeah, I have another blog you guys can check out and I know this post isn’t very inspiring but maybe if you guys want a podcast enough then I will make one for you guys 😮 But please be yourself guys. I know I don’t listen to this myself but you are the BADDEST bitch out there and you can do whatever the hell you want ok? Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.
Literally right now I am waiting for a call from a careers advisor. My school set this up and they gave us all a time for when we will be called. Mine was supposed to be half an hour ago and my phone feels like a ticking time bomb.
I swear, phone calls are the worst thing, especially if you know they are going to happen. At the time the call was supposed to be, I was shaking like a leaf. NO, I was shacking like Bambi, on ice, wearing heals. I mean I don’t know if I put in the right number or what. I feel like this is somehow my fault, when it literally is not. Literally it feels as though the wee person could call at – LOL I just got called ahhaha. Anyways, I was talking about how I literally was scared of my phone. I was just staring it down and was jumping at every notification that I got. Because I mean you think about everything you have to say and then also about how your voice sounds over the phone. I mean my voice sounds so different when it is like recorded or anything so I have no clue what it sounds like and that literally gives me a heart attack every time I remember that. And you know the way sometimes you get that weird sound made by your throat? I always get scared that they’ll be like ‘did a dinosaur just enter your room’ or like if I swallow I always wonder if they can hear that. It is just a whole process I suppose.
The thing with calls is that, it basically a conversation where you can’t concentrate. You have all the stress of keeping the talking going but you also get distracted so you literally lose focus and then it is so awkward. Like there were times that I am like ‘ Yes I understand’ but in my head I am like what the fuck did they just say. Doesn’t it take so much energy to focus and you can’t really think about what they are saying. And then when you text someone, you have actual time to think about what you say and although it is harder to hear what they mean, I prefer to text. It doesn’t take time out of your day to text because you can answer it whenever but then you always get those people who talk about every aspect of their life. I mean I could say ‘so how was your day’ and then they would be like ‘well, it all started on the day I was born…’ and then you are there for hours, putting in sentence fillers every so often like ‘wow’, ‘serious’, ‘ahaha’ while you are literally dying inside.
It can get so awkward as well sometimes because phone calls can lag obviously. Sometimes I can’t figure out if they asked me a question or not and then they are quiet for a second so I answer something random even though they didn’t ask me something. It is funny sometimes when it lags at the exact moment you want to say something. So when you think they aren’t saying anything, you start to speak and so do they, so you stop and so do they, you start and so do they. It is so awkward. It is basically the talking version of trying to walk past someone but you keep turning to get past them but then you keep going the same way and it is so embarrassing. And the thing is, it is like that to the end. I mean why does everybody want to say goodbye first. I mean we all sound like a flock of pigeons like bye bye bye bye bye bye. And you feel rude for hanging up ahahha I just hate every aspect of it.
I guess I do have to give calls a pit of slack because they have saved me from some embarrassing moments. Like that time I spoke when I wasn’t supposed to. You can read about that in my past post here. I mean it do get you outta some sticky situations. And if you are careful you can make some prank calls on the sales people or other shops and stuff although to be honest I never really did that. Phone calls can be good, I suppose, for emergencies because I mean if you are literally dying and text me on snapchat or something, you may as well start digging your grave because I wont see it for the next 50-7 business days.
Over all, phone calls are a sin. You can get scammed. You can get pranked. You can get embarrassed. I mean the anxiety when you get one is so bad that I might just have to throw it out the window. I mean I have grown up with this technology basically all of my life, yet I hate them. I mean no matter who it is. Sometimes it could be someone I know but I would still be scared. I mean please just do a face time because my heart can’t take it any longer. Please tell me someone else feels this way too and that I am not a socially awkward freak.
Thank you for reading. Please follow, like and donate some change if you can so that I can keep all of my content free for everyone. Also go check out a great money app I found and some discount codes because I mean at least nice clothes will build up the confidence that the phone call stole from you. Have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.
Yooo here is the wee app I was on about. It does sound like a scam to be fair but it is actually a safe and secure app. I use it to make a wee bit of extra cash and you can too if you just click here
We have to admit it, one of the worst feelings in the world is embarrassment, and that is coming from someone who has gone through many tough moments. I always feel better though when I hear other peoples embarrassments, which sounds quite evil know that I say it. But I’m going to tell you two of the most embarrassing moments of my life. PS, please don’t judge me.
Story 1 – A homeless man
It started just like any day. A cold morning. A warm cup of coffee. A train into town with my friends. And a partridge in a pear tree. Now, as I was walking out of the train station it was really busy, I mean you know how Saturday afternoons are. And we were walking in the massive crowd, chatting, having a wee bit of fun and we were about to turn to get on this bridge to get into town. Then it happened. One of my most embarrassing regretful moments. I tripped over this homeless man who was asleep at the turning point onto the bridge. Like I didn’t step on him or anything but I proper knocked my foot off him. I didn’t even know it was a person until I walked on a bit and my friend was like ‘that was a whole ass person’ and I felt so bad. In my defense though, I really did not see him there, it was crowded, and he was right at the blind spot of the turn. To this day I do not know if I kicked him in the head or what but I will be forever traumatized and sorry.
Story 2 – In the woods
This story… This story makes me die inside every time I hear it. It wasn’t that long ago actually. Maybe a few weeks back, but I was out on a walk by myself with my dog, Skylar. I was going down these wee step things when I saw this woman who was doing a photo shot for a bag. It must have been her company or something but that is besides the point. And you know how it is, you gotta try and look good in front of the photographer. I was ready for her to ship me off to a modelling agency because I am just too cute. But no. So I walked on and looped around as I usually would and then before I got to her I put Skylar on the leash so she wouldn’t be around the camera you know. And at this point the woman was just over a small bridge and I was facing away from her and she said ‘I’ll just be a few more minutes’. Being the weird person I am I said ‘OK’, like in a loud voice. There was no way she didn’t hear it. Then I look up and there is another woman with her. SHE WASN’T TALKING TO ME. I panicked so bad, whipped out my phone and started acting like I was talking to someone else. And you better believe I did not cross that bridge. No, I went in the complete opposite direction. I kid you not, I had to go down a muddy hill, into the river, and back up a muddy hill just to get onto the path I needed to. I was literally about to cry. She must of been like, ‘what the hell is that girl doing, what an actual creep’. I guess the moral of the story is to never talk to strangers. Nothing good will ever come of it.
Wow, I feel so embarrassed to publish this now but I hope this helped to cure your embarrassment. If not, trust me, I have had a lot more embarrassing stories so please feel free to ask for more. But we all go through something embarrassing at some point in our lives, so don’t let it ruin your day, PERIODT.
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