Emotion Comes In Shades

What do I mean when I say “Emotion comes in shades”? No, I don’t associate colours with certain feelings, what I mean is that emotions aren’t so black and white. There are layers, different forms of emotions. It’s more deep than just sad, happy or confused. And I think that is what people find difficult when they feel something that they can’t quite describe because they feel different, or in a sense, weird. And I am no therapist, but I’m a human, so I know that when I say emotions be crazy I am telling the truth. Let me develop this a bit more.

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I, like many people, have mental struggles, and I am lucky enough to get therapy. And one thing I have heard my mum say is that when I am struggling or feeling a bit down, there are two attitudes, or personalities, that can come from it. I can either be really defensive or as she would say “edgy”, in the way that I don’t let people come near me to comfort me, or I can be more ‘small’ or as I describe it, melty. I guess that means I am just more timid and kind of as if puppy eyes were a personality. Like I don’t know why but kind of as though I act really young again, like a child who isn’t feeling well and just wants a cuddle. I mean I will never reach out in that way but I get that sort of personality. But basically, those are two ‘shades’ of anxiety that I can have. I suppose there are more, maybe they blend in together at some point, but like a lot of shades, it’s hard to distinguish between them until you take a step back and look at the big picture.

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I think this way of seeing emotions could also be helpful to kind of understand how you can approach someone with a certain emotion. You may not know just by talking to them, but if you were to ask them something like in my example “do you feel edgy or melty right now” and then you know whether to give them space or a hug. Obviously, that doesn’t solve it and it does require them to talk which they may not want, but it could really help. If you had a secret code or something to signal that you are sad, but in an “I just watched a sad video and I’ll be fine” way, or an “I’m finding it hard to balance everything and so many bad things are happening now” way. I think that could really help.

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And I feel as though people who see the emotion in a black and white type of way can be passive and almost unhelpful in a sense when it comes to the emotions of others and their own. Because if you were to ask someone “Hey are you ok?” or something along those lines, and they just replied with “meh, I’m fine”, then a “black and white” perspective would make them think that they are just neutral, nothing is wrong. But if you were to ask them “fine meaning what?” then they might eventually admit they are fine as in barely holding on, then you can be there for them. It is most likely it isn’t even the person’s fault because they were raised with a “black and white” perspective and they don’t really know any different, but you can learn and that is the best thing to do. It doesn’t matter if that was you in the past because you couldn’t help it, but if you try to understand and maybe listen more about it, you can see that “fine” or “happy” or “anxious” can mean multiple different things.

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And I don’t mean that in the sense that you shouldn’t even bother asking because there are so many layers to it and you can’t even be bothered trying to work out what it is they are feeling and how you can help them with that. I mean it as in you should take what they say with a grain of salt because there is more behind it than you might think. They may not even know it themselves until they really think for a second. Obviously, you don’t have to over-analyse everyone’s responses but it can help to know if they are feeling some way in a jokey sense, or in a more serious sense.

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I think it could also help you. Not for helping out others, but for reassuring yourself that what you are feeling is ok and normal. Sometimes I may feel some way and when I get asked how I felt, I don’t know what to say. Maybe I was angry but sad and ‘melty’ or maybe I was happy but ‘edgy’. Because it is so hard to describe how you feel with just “good” or “bad” because emotions are so complex but they are what make us human. The colours make life more interesting and sometimes scary, but you know that at the end of the day we all recognize the shades we see. Sometimes the hardest part is just accepting it and recognizing its beauty.

I hope this post made sense to you all and got you thinking a little bit. I suppose this was a deep post but I enjoyed it and hope you did too. If it did then don’t forget to like, follow and comment down below. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Do You Know What’s Weird? | Plants are alive

Now please don’t think I’m some sort of alien conspiracy bitch, like I understand that plants are a living thing because I went to school (not in the USA) and did biology (again, not in the USA) so I would say I know a thing or two. I also think about things too much which… Continue Reading →

Why Does Nobody Appreciate A Bargain?

POV: it’s Saturday. You are with a friend on the train and because we are so spontaneous we say “hey, why don’t we go to Botanic instead?”. You feel crazy because you are now getting off one stop later, what a rush. You go around and live the quirky life you desired as you shop… Continue Reading →

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The Most Common US Misconceptions About The UK

This post is gonna come off as fucking cheeky and kind of playing with American stereotypes, but I want to make it clear to you now that I 100% mean it. So, sorry I guess but it has to be done. To be fair though, when was there ever a need for you to learn… Continue Reading →

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The Most Frustrating Thing Is Frustration

Being frustrated is a vicious cycle because frustration pretty much feeds off frustration. Like when you wake up and you are annoyed by the way the bed covers feel, you get frustrated cause you just like “fuck” and you know it’s gonna be a bad day. And there literally isn’t any way to control it or just get over it. You just end up having a shitty day and know that so when you get frustrated at literally nothing, you are literally thinking to yourself “why am I even annoyed by this because it is literally no big deal”.

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Even when it is something you do every day, or something that happens regularly, it just is so much worse and you feel like actually crying. This was me the other day when I came up with this blog post. Like everything enraged me even though I am actually quite a chill person. All my friends would probably say that to be fair, but I kinda have to admit that I can be a bad bitch if I need to. Like I was saying to my mum how the police were in talking to our class today and I’m really excited to join the police now because there are so many opportunities. And here my mum goes on talking about that it is great because you’re not very intimidating or like loud or anything so there might be better jobs for you too. Here was me bloody flabbergasted. My mum doesn’t even know me. If the situation calls for it, I will pop off. I can shout, I can be intimidating. Don’t try me bitch because I can change it up in here real quick. I’ll flip that personality that a pancake before I let you shout at me.

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I got off on a bit of a tangent there but what I was trying to say was that I had a really frustrating day and normal things bugged me. Like if the teacher wasn’t making any sense that day, or the fact they are a very talkative person, I would nearly be in tears because I just want to shout. Let’s say the teacher wasn’t explaining it well even though there was such an easy way to explain it, or she would just keep repeating herself over and over again, I would literally be squirming in my seat. Because obviously I can’t say anything because that’s just fucking rude, but having to sit through that would irritate me so much. And usually, I would just zone out and not give 2 shits but some days it really hits different.

I have to admit it is quite a good indicator that I might be having my period within the next few days (not to enforce the stereotype). I guess that explains it and makes it feel a bit less like I’m just losing my fucking mind but I could do without it, to be honest.

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The worst thing that can happen when you are having a frustrating day is having to walk a dog that is literally sniffing every blade of grass that they walk past as if they somehow became sherlock holmes, so you can’t even walk undisturbed. WALKS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE RELAXING like I walk to try and stop the frustration but then this cute, fluffy spawn of satan just does your head in. I swear I look like an insane, mentally unstable person because by the end of my walk I am doing the slow turn around with the face of anger. Like you know what I mean. When you are so fed up that you want to scream but like you can’t because they will probably take your dog from you and it also is just weird to shout in public. I mean I love my dog with my whole heart but I would be lying if I said I never felt like dropping her leash and just running off into the distance. She probably wouldn’t notice anyway because she’s TOO FUCKING BUSY LOOKING AT A PILE OF DIRT.

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But yeah, I suppose to sum it up, when you get frustrated once, you just gotta wait until you go to bed that night because there is no way to get rid of that bitch. Like it’s a tough road and it happens but at least for some, there is a more obvious reason. Just one of those things I suppose. Please don’t forget to comment down below what you think about frustration. Hopefully, you see my point about frustration being frustrating. Also, like and follow for more posts like this (it can get quite mental) and I’ll see you next time. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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How To Describe My Blog

Sometimes when I am writing a new post I sometimes look at myself in the mirror and wonder what the fuck I’m even talking about. What genre is this? I would say comedy but then again I don’t want to seem cocky and I don’t even know if people understand my humour. I would also… Continue Reading →

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I Don’t Get The Guinness Book Of World Records

Maybe it’s because I have no skills of my own but like I don’t understand the hype of the Guinness book of world records because the only thing it did was make me confused at why the drink my dad loves is making a book? Like… make it make sense. It’s kinda cool I guess… Continue Reading →

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Let’s Discuss It | Pronouns

Can people please just get over it and wise up because it just isn’t that hard bitch. Firstly I’d like to say that my pronouns are she/her and I’m straight so I can’t really speak of experience but I want to talk from the perspective of just an accepting human being which is literally the… Continue Reading →

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All You Can Do Is Laugh

This is gonna make me sound crazy, but lets hope it is just crazy relatable. Do you know when your life is completely crumbling around you? Yeah? OK good. And do you know when you sit there and you have no clue what to do because everything is happening at once and all you can do is… laugh. Please say you do because I literally do this so much that my mum probably thinks that I have gone insane. I try to explain this to my friends as well but they don’t pass the vibe check so I am just left their looking like I have just given up in life. Which I guess isn’t wrong but like…

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This happens everyday and usually during English, because everything is just so ridiculous and no matter how long I search, I still can’t find the point. Ya know. I mean my teachers talk and expect me to be able to read this dead person’s mind and I just stare at the screen like :”’) and I just can’t believe my ears. That isn’t me judging anyone by the way, if someone actually likes English that is completely fine, but for me, I can’t cope. I already overthink my thoughts so I don’t need anymore practice you know. NO I literally also be laughing in pain whenever the teachers give that speech again where they are like ‘I am such a nice, relatable person, because I am telling you that I know so many other people are giving you so much work and that I know what you are going through, even though I really don’t. I am also going to add something about mental health, even though I don’t give a shit, just so your parents think I actually care about you. Hopefully this will lessen the blow of the 15 page essay which I am going to give you 1 day to do instead of just the one hour because I am just that nice’. If that doesn’t sum up their whole speech, I don’t know what does.

I feel like I just laugh because there really isn’t anything else to do in that moment. I can just start crying because I don’t really trust the mute button or the camera-off button. I can’t just leave because I need to get good grades. I just hope that laughing tricks my brain into thinking that I am actually enjoying time like this. There are times though when I laugh for real. But this is only when I get onto the zoom call and the teacher isn’t talking so I go off that screen for a second and do something else, but then later on they just talk out of nowhere and I literally have a heart attack. The amount of times that has happened is probably unhealthy because the wave of fear and confusion is like a literal electric shock.

School is really tough for everyone at the moment, and for people who have even more going on at home, it can be so much worse. And when people get overwhelmed, they can have the tendency to cope with that through laughter or by making jokes. I am not making this post as a cry for help but just as a reminder that people don’t always look how they feel. Maybe you do the same thing. We just need to remember that this will pass and I mean laughing at bad stuff isn’t the worst thing for you. So let’s just laugh our way into normal life and get through it. Soon enough you will be laughing for real, and that is when you know you are on the right path.

Thank you for reading guys, but I also wanted to ask your something. Would you guys be interested in a podcast? It would be me reading these posts with added comments as bit of a comedy thing. I want to do this just because I know there are people out there who find it easier to listen to things, or maybe just so you can listen to my blogs while in the car. Please let me know how you feel about it and maybe you might get a podcast, and you can hear my actual voice :0 don’t get your hopes up though, I hate my recorded voice. So yeah, as normal, like, follow and donate any change you may have because I really want to keep all of my content free for everyone, and if I am gonna make a podcast I kind of want to use one of those wee tiny mics just for the LOLs, but I can worry about that. Hope you have a great day, stay safe, and stay yourself PERIODT.

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