What Comes After 21?

If you are like me, an overthinker, you will most likely understand this question immediately. And no, the answer is a little more complicated than 22. I swear if I get a comment like that I will literally erase my existence. Anyways, for those who don’t really get what I mean, let me tell you.

What comes after 21? A question I have always asked myself since I started my anxious life. I mean for every birthday until then there has been significant. There is the actual day of your birth, which is big for obvious reasons, you’ve got 10 when you finally go into the double digits, 13 you are a teen, 17 you can learn to drive, 18 you can legally drink (in the UK), 20 you are no longer a teen, and while 21 is bigger in the USA because they can legally drink now, it is still counted as a milestone birthday around the world. But then what? Not to be morbid or anything but the next big day is your… death day. Yes, you have the 30s, 40s, 50s and so on, but that’s basically just a “well done for still breathing”. Nothing big changes in your life. It isn’t life some things become open to you that may not have been before. Except for a nursing home, or an over 50’s workout class. I mean that isn’t even a joke.

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At the moment the only things I have to look forward to are the ‘level ups’ in life because when I turn 17 I can drive, when I turn 18 I can sign up for the police and legally drink, but then what? What will I look forward to doing? What will I look out the window in awe and dream of the time when I can do the same. I mean I’m sorry but I’m not looking forward to free bus cards (well, maybe a little). Life as an adult already seemed so depressing to me but now that you don’t really have any set goals, what do you have? I suppose you can always make goals of your own, but if you are unmotivated like me, it can be hard to stick to those and actually make goals that are reachable. I would only be setting myself up for failure.

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I suppose it isn’t the birthday milestones that are gonna be the tragedy of life as an adult. Like I don’t find the fact that we won’t be squirming in bed on the night before our birthday to be depressing. It’s just that having something to look forward to learning and doing is kind of the only thing that gets me up in life. Even if that thing will inevitably be disappointing, it was fun to dream of it before then. For example, I always couldn’t wait to go to high school because we would learn so much more interesting and relevant stuff and I could revise which would mean I would have less time being bored (I don’t know where I got that logic from but I actually did think that) and then I got to high school and ended up having the worst experience of my life which led to being looking forward to leaving it.

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Another thing I couldn’t wait for was getting a job. To earn my own money, do an interview, meet new people, have exciting experiences, to be independent. And as most things go, I ended up hating it. After the first week that amazement fizzled out and I realised that the general public is pieces of stuck up shit (I was a waitress) and the people I worked with (only a select few I suppose) were assholes who made my life hell. Make sure to check out my other post which talks more about that horror of waitressing here and here. But anyway, that was another thing that I dreamed of doing, and when it came the magic was gone. I always guessed it would happen but that didn’t make the thought of it less magical.

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It’s things like that I am scared to finish. Having so many firsts, being excited to start new things, reaching milestones you thought of as a kid. I suppose there is marriage and kids if that is what you want but after that what is there? Retirement? I really don’t want to end up looking forward to that because I want a job I love and enjoy waking up to every day. But if I don’t look forward to retirement then what can I dream about? Yes, I know this is a depressing fucking topic and I feel like a bunch of adults are gonna read this like “I don’t even have a fucking clue” and spin-off into an existential crisis, but it is just a genuine question. Like just because I can’t see anything important, doesn’t mean that there isn’t because I could be wrong. Maybe having a clean slate for your future and being able to do anything LEGAL that you want is freeing. I don’t know? But at the moment I am 16 and I don’t have many milestones left and that terrifies me. A lot of things scare me to be fair but this one is harder to disprove.

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So am I wrong? Adults, please do tell me that I am. Are birthdays just not important and now it is just what happens in between? I really do hope I am wrong and I guess age is just a number but also a fucking important number as well. I think I might make another post on that because yes age is a number, but it isn’t JUST a number is it? Oh well, comment down below if you would like a post about that because I actually just came u with a few good ideas for that. Follow so that you get notified when I post about that in the near future and like if you enjoyed this page of existentialism. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Do You Know What’s Weird? We Control Everything

In this post, I was originally going to talk about how the hour change is such a weird thing but then when I was thinking about what to talk about I just got into a spiral of how us humans basically run and control the world. Not as in like there is a control panel to change the direction the earth turns or some shit but as in we literally control everything in it. Like it is so fucking weird if you think about it and that is what we are going to do today. Also, I’m not gonna get into politics shit or anything like that because I know people are gonna be like “you’re right we need our freedom” and all that shit but I am just genuinely interested and amazed by this realisation of mine.

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A planet doesn’t come with a user manual. Like there isn’t a massive book of earth management that we look at to see how to settle arguments or have a fucking safe society. We had to just figure that out. Like we had to create a solid foundation and create fucking rules and schedules for shit. Time didn’t exist in a sense. It was a thing I suppose, but only when we came up with seconds, minutes, hours and all that crap. Like that was something made up. They just needed structure and control so we were like fuck it and just created a clock. It isn’t something that came with earth.

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And we just change that shit up twice a year. I am not really sure what countries do this, but we do in the UK, where we turn back the clock an hour or forward an hour depending on the time of year. Literally no joke. And it is literally because of fucking farmers. Like it makes sense because they want more light in the morning but who knew they could hold so much power. I can just imagine a bunch of culchies coming down with their cows and being like “you need to change the time for this whole country so that I can work in the light” and the bloody “time worker” person just looking at them like what the fuck why don’t you just wake up later or just work your timetable around the darkness and then them just being there like “Nah but like I still want the times to be the same you know. I don’t want to wake up or go to bed 1 hour earlier or later each year”. What the fuck do you think you are gonna miss? A cuppa tea. Like we literally change the time like it is nothing. The whole concept of time is just chucked out the window.

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I think a good way to describe what I am thinking about is almost as if the earth is just a big fucking TV show. Like I could imagine it as either the show that has 10 teens/kids living in a house by themselves for a week or like some sort of reality TV show that goes to shit. We just have no clue how to function or keep any form of control and we are just trying to figure out what the hell is going on. They are dividing into groups, starting fights, destroying everything and getting pissed when they can’t fix it again. We are just a bunch of people given free rein to do anything. There are no goals, rules or anything and we are just trying to figure out our next move.

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It’s so weird to think of it like that though and I could so easily go into thinking “what is the point of humans” and that can get messy real quick, but it also amazes me because we just choose to ignore that fact. We are tiny spots of matter floating in nothingness with no real aim and we can really just control whatever the fuck we do next because there isn’t any expectation or form of monitoring. We, as a whole, can make the world be whatever the hell we want it to be. What about we all live in bloody treehouses and have literal tigers as pets? What if we create a time of day where everyone is legally allowed a nap hour? We can do that shit. It isn’t like some overlord is gonna open up the sky and be like “that’s against the rule 14358”. Literally, everything created in this world, whether it is a social construct, concept or physical item has just been made up to create some sort of order and reason for existence.

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We have literally done dot to dot in the night sky and then named that shit. People really thought they were doing something when they were like “that looks like a fucking lion”. I mean where they off their heads or something because that looks like literally nothing at all. I mean clouds I guess but stars?! That’s pushing it a bit. We could have no homelessness or hunger in the world but they are like “it is so expensive” but like that isn’t a real excuse because we made money. We don’t NEED it in a sense. Like why can’t we just do it? Build more houses, improve the environment and teach people how to farm and stuff. Why can’t we agree as a planet that this is important and we can all join in together to do it? It isn’t that hard. And I know we need to pay for labour and shit but I am sure we could work something out. Like if you help us build these houses then we will give you one for free or something like that.

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I suppose it got a bit controversial at the end but I just wanted to get across the idea that the world doesn’t have rules and we have just created it because we think it helps. Not everything is a solid fact or necessity but we have just been taught to accept it. But we are just humans flying through nothingness and it really just isn’t that deep. I hope you found that interesting and that you like, follow and comment on what you think about this topic. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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The Story Of The Phrase That Changed My Life

Let me set the scene for you real quick. It’s 4.30am. You’re at the airport. You’re at the back of a long line for a service that hasn’t even opened yet. An hour ago you were asleep or at least just woken up by your alarm so you kinda feel like you’re in some sort… Continue Reading →

19 Reasons Why | The USA Have To Listen

I know a lot of my posts are usually just for the shits and giggles and I try to make light of situations going on because that’s how I express my thoughts, but there is no way this could ever be flipped into some sort of joke. There is not one thing about this that… Continue Reading →

Have You Amber Heard About This?

It comes as no shock that there is currently a trial between Johnny Depp and Amber Heard. Just to clear things up, Amber Heard is an actor… mostly. But for real I have never seen or heard of her ever before. I’m pretty sure Johnny said she was on Aquaman or something. All you need… Continue Reading →

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