I Hate To Be That Bitch But…

You guys have to agree with me when I say that a lot of things we do nowadays is heavily judged. Like there are a lot of things that people aren’t willing to admit they do because people will laugh at them and call them a basic bitch or a pick me type of person. Don’t get me wrong, there are a few things that mean that you are definitely that type of person but like some things are a bit of a stretch. So yeah, I guess I will expose myself today and show you some of the things that make me “that bitch”.

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Starbucks

Being a blonde teenage girl, I feel like I am already set up to get judged 10 times more than others because you know, I look like the dumb blonde whose only personality trait is sipping iced coffee obnoxiously loud in class. But like I do love myself a wee iced coffee. It doesn’t have to be Starbucks I guess but Starbucks is the place you usually get judged for going to. Especially on holidays when you are literally sweating your ass off and you step into the cafe with a gust of cool air hitting you and the sound of the coffee machine. It is literally so good. I don’t know why but I love the sound of the coffee machines in cafes. So you can call me a basic bitch for liking a cheeky wee Starbucks iced coffee on a nice warm day because I won’t stop for nobody PERIODT

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Water

We are kinda focusing on the drinks today aren’t we but they are important ones to mention I think. I love water. I don’t know why but like water really hits different. When you are absolutely parched, you don’t reach for a bloody coke no matter what the ads show. You go for a freaking water and that shit is amazing. Like even at a restaurant, I might be that girl who orders water. That is partially because I am broke but like I do enjoy water. But then the one time that I do get a fizzy drink or something, there will be that one adult who is like “oooh, teens and their cokes these days, can’t get them off it”. And you just stare at them like “this isn’t fucking cocaine, like I haven’t had one in ages. I don’t have a bloody mini fridge of things like other teens do”. So yeah, I guess I’m just quirky lol. Forget I ever said that last part that was a joke lol. But despite the fact people think it is boring to like drinking water and every time you get it instead of a monster energy drink you are literally shunned from the friend group. And you know what, I am not taking it any longer. You all know that water is the best.

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Dishes

This one is kind of a different one because I don’t really think that a lot of people my age will relate to this but I actually like doing the dishes. It is just like so relaxing when you are doing something while just watching something on your phone and it is nice to see the pile of dirty dishes go down and then you put stuff away and it is very visually gratifying. I always like to see the results happen you know. And I bet that some guy is gonna be in the comments like “well it’s in a woman’s nature” and to that I say shut the fuck up and I am only one woman and I know that probably a majority of us don’t like it but we aren’t gonna get all political here sorry about that. But the one thing that I hate about doing dishes is when people keep putting dirty dishes in the pile and I’m like where was the fucking need. I mean since when did you have a whole fucking IKEA in your bedroom? I also hate afterwards when you have to clean the drain and there are pieces of disgusting food at the bottom. Literally the bane of my existence. I think that one of the worst punishments would be being in a bath and there are bits like those in it and so you can feel it all over. That would be hell

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Ed Sheeran

I know this one is about to get controversial but I swear that one day Ed Sheeran was just completely cancelled and I really have no clue why. Like I see so many things saying that people who still listen to Ed Sheeran are weirdos or they wouldn’t be caught dead listening to him but like some of his music is good. I mean would I be a crazy fan girl and buy his hair on eBay? No. But do I listen to some of the absolute classics? Hell yeah. Someone please explain what he did because I don’t know why I am supposed to be embarrassed for listening to him. He is a good singer too so that can’t be it. I swear to god, if it is because he is ginger!! Literally that would be so hilarious but like it’s 2021 guys, we gotta start getting over that ok.

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I Don’t Cry at Movies

This one might seem normal at first. Like there are people who just don’t cry at some things and that’s fine, right? Well, what if I told you I didn’t tear up at “The Notebook”, “The Boy In The Stripped Pajamas” or “Marley and Me” but I did cry at “Moana”, “Inside Out” and “Little Women”. Yup, kinda a weird mix. And you know the 3 that I just said I cried at, those are the ONLY movies I have ever cried at. Well, excluding the time I probably cried at bob the builder because I was forced to watch it over and over as a baby. Bob the builder is such a show though you have to admit. But no, everyone says I have a heart of stone because while they are over there buried in tissues, I’m in the corner making fun of them. You do have to admit though, whenever Moana’s grandma dies it is so fucking sad and then when she comes back as a fucking fish and starts singing. Moana could have sailed in my tears bitch.

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Anyways, I think that is all that I will mention for today. Don’t forget to leave a comment if you relate to any of these things or if you do things that others may judge you about. We probably all do it so like don’t even be worrying and even if we don’t, there is no judgment here. But yeah, like, follow and comment if you enjoyed this content and, if you can, feel free to donate some money in the box down below to help the blog keep going. Anything is appreciated. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Things That Make Me Feel Stupid (well, more than usual)

We love a good self-deprecating post. It is kinda fun though because it is easy and I can say anything I want about myself and I won’t offend anyone, unless you are literally the exact same as me. Multiverse?! But yeah, some of these things are kinda basic but, being a person with a typical low self esteem, I feel a lot of things make me feel stupid. I’ll only list a few things today though so I don’t make myself look like an actual idiot. This is just for the lols as well guys so don’t get too offended or like anything like that.

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Paint-by-numbers

Can You Color Inside the Lines? Yes No What Did You Expect ...

This one doesn’t make me feel so much as stupid as it does untalented. Like I really have 0 talents and it shines through in paint by numbers. My mum got me one and it is really fun and I enjoy it like, but I don’t know if my hands are too shaky but I can not keep it neat and I can’t keep it even either, like you can tell there is more paint in some parts. I can also tell that art is not my strong point because I just can’t figure out how much paint I need for a certain bit and I end up getting none on my brush for a big section and then literally the whole wee tub for a tiny section. You do have to admit though it can be quite hard when you have the little bits and, me already being quite blind, has to go right up to the picture as though I am freaking lying down or some shit. Do you guys get that in school where you like realise that when you are writing your face gets so close to the table and you are like when the fuck did that happen. I always find that and get super embarrassed because there really is no need for me to do that.

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Another thing about paint-by-numbers that I know every fucking one of you understands is how hard it is to open the lids of the paint. Like they are so tiny and literally hurt and you are scared it is just going to go flying everywhere when you do. I am better than a few years ago I must say but like some are so hard and I really do feel defeated by a piece of plastic. It defo fits into the same category as that other packaging that knives or scissors are in and can only be cut with knives and scissors so you are screwed because the thing you need to open it is the thing that you are trying to get out. As you can tell, this is quite a passionate topic for me

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Conversations

How to talk to people | Steven Universe | Know Your Meme

This happened like literally 10 times yesterday and I know a lot of you guys, if not everyone, will feel the same way. There are a few things withing this category that I want to mention, the first being that you can’t understand what the person is saying and you ask them again and again and eventually just go off their cues. Like I had asked my friend to repeat herself twice already and then I saw she smiled so I was like “aha oh really” and like nodded my head and smiled. She could have been saying absolutely anything and I would have no clue. Then you just awkwardly stop talking because you don’t know what to say after and you spend the rest of the day trying to figure out what they say. And sometime when this happens and you think they said something but you are like what does that mean so you say what you think they said out loud and they are like what the fuck that isn’t what I said lol and then when you hear yourself say it you realise you are so dumb and it was so obvious. Like say my friend was talking about cinema’s or whatever and I was like “who’s cinema” and then I would be like that was so stupid. That was actually the worst example I could have used lol but we move.

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Another thing that makes me feel stupid is when you are having a conversation and you either can’t pay attention to what they are saying for some reason or you can’t keep track of it and despite the fact you were listening, you don’t know where that part of the convo came in. It is so hard though whenever you can’t pay attention to someone who is talking but you want to and then you are thinking too much about trying to listen that you can’t actually remember what they just said but now they are asking you a question that gives no indication of what we were talking about like “what do you think” and you just panic. That literally happened to me at my job interview and I nearly shit myself. And then when you get into the position of not understanding when that part of the convo went in and you have to ask so many questions that they probably just explained like “so what was that cat? Whose was it? When and where did you find it?” And you realise you just asked the whole fucking backstory that doesn’t even matter and then sometimes you still don’t know what they are on about

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Drinking

The best sobriety memes : stopdrinking

When I say drinking, I don’t mean like alcohol or whatever, I just mean the action of drinking. I just can never seem to understand basic physics in the moment I am drinking from a bottle. The number of times I drank too much and had to literally drown for a second so I didn’t spit anything out is actually ridiculous. It happened so much on online school too because my camera was off, luckily, and I was bored as fuck so I would just be looking into space and the only thing I could do was drink more water and then I just didn’t grasp that if I picked up the bottle quickly and brought it to my mouth then a wave of water would happen and end up going all over me. It was so humiliating despite the fact I was the only one in the room. Do you think that someone has actually died from swallowing too much water and literally not being able to breathe. It hurts to doesn’t it. And I always seem to miss my mouth when drinking out of a glass and I am like “hmm why is there water going down my top” and then I’m like oh cause I’m an idiot. What I also hate is when you just took a drink of water and someone makes a joke and you have to literally fight for your life to not spit it out everywhere. You literally look like a puffer fish and it is not ideal.

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“Child Geniuses” The TV Show

Me irl | Child genius, Student memes, Top memes

This is one of the examples where it makes me feel dumb but I am glad I’m not one of them. Like I genuinely feel bad for those kids because they defo have no friends or spend time doing normal stuff and they will become depressed and like become a hippy. That is true though. I mean great if you child is smart but like why put them in a competition that, if they doesn’t win, will make them think they are dumb but they really just aren’t. And some of the things they have to do aren’t even good for life. Even some school subjects are more useful than what they do. They have to fucking learn the order of a deck of cards and like all of the streets in London which is literally one of the hardest tests and adults struggle to do it. And the spelling bee… don’t get me started. I had to use auto-correct to spell geniuses. That is no joke. The spelling bee is better though but literally makes me feel dumb as fuck. It also cracks me up though. They are so proud of themselves and literally spell the most fucked up words. Iridocyclitis

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Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this post and if you did don’t forget to like, follow and comment what else makes you feel stupid and see if anyone else can relate. But yeah, I’m going to go a do things that make me feel a bit smarter than usual like watching Dora the explora. I can always find the things before she does, lazy bitch. But yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow for even more. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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Read some more posts

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My Honest Opinion On Public Transport | Hint – NOT Ideal

I feel like a common theme with my content and the titles is that they all seem like I am about to go into some political talk as though I am about to rant about taxes or other Karen shit, but like it really isn’t, so I don’t know if I attract the wrong audience with it. I can imagine a bunch of middle aged women getting their hair pumped up at the back, like the typical Karen’s do, and getting ready to take notes on the topic so they too can complain about public transport or some shit. And if that does happen to be you, you are gonna be disappointed because it is just my opinion and for a bit of a laugh. I do honestly think public transport is great because of global warming and all that, but like that is the most political thing I am gonna be saying in this post so like I’m sorry to disappoint I suppose lol. I’m gonna go through each form 1 by 1 just because… well I don’t know why but I just am and I don’t know why I am telling you but lets just roll with it.

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Trains

In all honesty, I love a good train. I think it is my favorite form because it is more relaxed kind of but still not very relaxed. I don’t know why though but they stress the shit out of me and I actually do know why so let me explain. I hope I don’t sound insane, but I also feel the same way about roller coasters which is that I kinda forget that a human controls them and they aren’t just on a time limit. And what I mean by that is that when I go on a roller coaster I get really stressed that the people aren’t going to get to me quick enough so they won’t be able to check my harness, when in reality, they control it and only start it when everyone is on. It isn’t like they have to get it all done in 5 minutes and if somebody isn’t strapped in right then that’s too bad. I feel the same way about the train too, so I feel that if the people getting in first take too long, they will just shut the doors and leave but like people control it so they wouldn’t do that unless they were like bunged up. So that is kinda stressful I suppose.

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These are good though because they are quick and usually not too disgusting and they are quick too. Kinda nice vibes as well ad make you feel kinda grown up but like I wouldn’t be wanting to go on at night because, as a woman, I don’t think that would end well for me but like oh well. I think I made another post not long ago talking about how the train conductors are also really scary usually and act as though they have been pissed off since the day they were born, but like you just ignore them I guess and you are fine. Sometimes you can get lucky where they don’t get to you in time so you don’t have to pay and that is an added bonus like. Another thing I also get stressed about is getting onto the train and also just the train platform. I remember the first time I went on the train alone and my mum was waiting at the platform until the train left and she was in front of the yellow line and I was so panicked even when the train wasn’t moving. I was acting as though she was about to get sucked under the train just because she was close to it. I still kinda get scared of that. And when you get onto the train and have to walk over the gap to get in, I always feel as though, somehow, my phone or whatever I am holding, is going to fall in and then I will never get it back. I don’t always feel like I will fall in, but like I have to hold onto everything for dear life because I think it is somehow going to propel itself under the train. How embarrassing would that be if I did though. I always feel like I left something on the train too even when I literally didn’t bring anything onto it lol.

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Bus

This is hands down my least favourite public transport. Like what the actual fuck I hate it so much. It is stressful enough when I have to get on it to go to school because I feel like I will get on the wrong one and end up in Russia or some shit. And the time table, like I just don’t trust it. You have to make sure that you get on the right one and when you do there are barely any seats so you have to end up sitting or standing next to the druggy who smells like actual shit. And even if you do get a seat they are always so dirty and infested with like 100 different viruses. It is so stressful as well when you get on and they just start moving the bus when you are still paying or just getting to your seat and you are literally flailing everywhere. It’s as though your drunk or something and they always suddenly stop and send you flying into someone. I always get scared that they will not stop at my stop for some reason.

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My school bus for going home is literally shit. There are no seats, there are first years running around and shouting everywhere and you can’t even tell them to shut the fuck up, the drivers have anger issues and they sometimes put up the wrong fucking number so they drive a different way and you are like am I getting kidnapped lol. And if they do take the right way at the start, they fucking miss the last stop and we are like “umm where are you going” and they act as though they don’t know shit and are like “where was I supposed to go” and then take a bloody one hour detour just to turn around. It is so stressful and packed and they never have the heaters on in winter but in summer they seem to work and the air conditioning is broken. I hate buses with a passion and I always will

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Taxi

I don’t really know if they are included in the public transport category but they need mentioned anyways. They aren’t too bad like but why does it have to be so awkward and expensive and also kinda embarrassing when you have to take one because you were late to school. When you get one you have to sit there awkwardly or just engage in small talk that makes you want to pull your eyeballs out. The people driving are usually quite nice though and the actual car is nice and clean which is a good touch. I don’t live in New York so like these aren’t any crappy yellow ones. You have to call the company to send someone over and they are nice and all so that isn’t the bad part but why the fuck are they so bloody expensive. Like I guess you have to pay for gas and it is more private but like for fuck sake. You just look at the meter going up every second and you get a fucking heart attack. Sitting in traffic wondering if you can afford to get home. Like what if you don’t have enough money to pay for it all because it is more than expected? Do you just walk away or what

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I remember in primary school we went in taxis to go to things like swimming and school trips and we thought we were the bees knees. Especially if the teacher didn’t go in your car and it was just your mates and the driver. There was this one time though when it was just me, my friends and the driver and we got in and the teachers were taking role or whatever and then our driver just drove straight away because the car was full and we were like what the fuck because nobody else had left. The guy was really nice but like on the edge of scary but like he did get us to the place but then 10 minutes after, our teacher finally got there and was like what the fuck because she though we were getting kidnapped or some shit because she didn’t tell the driver to go yet. Kinda fun times I suppose. You would have to be dumb to kidnap someone in a taxi though, pretty obvious like.

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Planes

I do love a good plane, don’t get me wrong. I mean I love the vibes, it is quiet and you can relax. It is quick and you get the best shows in the world, the safety briefing. But what the fuck is up with the food. Who pissed off the cooks to make them prepare this. I don’t mind the snacks and stuff like the muffins or tea because those are fine, but like I remember I was flying over to america from Northern Ireland and I had pasta or something and it was absolutely awful. Just the texture was so bad. It was all one texture and that was slimy. The chicken was literally rank, the pasta was near dripping and I got off the plane feeling like shit. The people on the plane were kinda cheeky and stuck up though but it might just be because it as a long flight or there were annoying customers, but even at the start you could tell they wanted to throw you out the plane. The first movie is always the most exciting because you are like “ooh, I’m watching a movie in the air on the way to holiday, how fun” but after you are all cramped, you are bored, always interrupted, you need to pee but don’t want to go past anyone and you still have hours left. So while I do prefer a plane to a boat, they can get a bit old very quickly. They are more relaxed though especially when at the airport because you have you plain time called every hour, there is a clear sign about it, there are shops that are way over priced but good for looking around and it is honestly a vibe. I love people watching, not in a creepy way, so it is cool to see how people are literally going everywhere in the world. And if you just sit at the seats near your terminal, you will be sure to never miss your plane, so good times all around.

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I remember the first time that I went on a plane without my parents and it was just me and my twin going over to England. The flight over was totally fine and kinda fun, but on the way back I was near in tears because, as you may know, I am quite the anxious person and we had gotten to our terminal with pretty much no bother and when we got there we sat for a bit and this guy was coming around checking the size of peoples bags. Ours had gotten through before so we were like we’ll be fine. Spoiler alert, we weren’t. It was the same airline, the same bags, the same stuff in it and the bag wouldn’t go in by like 1 mm. And I was like, we are never gonna get on this plane, we are going to be stranded here, I am never going to see my family again and the worker was talking about how it was too big and I was like but it got in before and he was like “not it didn’t” and I was like “bitch yes the fuck it did” and then he started talking about having to pay £30 to get it on the plane and I was like “we don’t have that much money with us” because we had just finished our trip and hadn’t brought much in the first place. And by that point I was panicking a lot inside and could only hear more about having to pay and i kept just saying “we can’t do that. We can’t afford that” and apparently by that point he was explaining that is what you normally had to do but he would let us off, so I defo looked like I was hiding something when in reality I was literally dying inside. That has traumatised me a wee bit, but as long as I just go with someone else for the rest of my life, I should be fine.

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Anyways, I would talk a bit about boats but like, in summary, they are boring and scary, so there you go. I also feel like I have gone on long enough and I am boring myself. But please comment down below if you liked this and whether you feel the same way or have had another bad experience to tell. Don’t forget to like and follow for even more content like this and to check out my other posts. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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It’s All About Perspective

Ok guys, we aren’t about to get into some existential shit today because I don’t think I can take that at the moment, but I guess it kinda will be but like to a certain extent, so kinda just be warned about that but lets get started into it. This is another weekly reminder post but I am going to make it around the same vibe as my other posts because I find it hard to… write like I care. That sounds really mean but what I mean by that is that I struggle to not cringe when I try to write a post in an empathetic tone. I know I am disappointing my English teacher at the moment but like I don’t give a shit anyways. So sorry if you prefer reading things that are kinda sad, but I use humor to cope despite the fact my humor is crap so that isn’t the best but like we move. I also don’t know why I am typing all of this because I can guarantee that you don’t give a fuck. But yeah, I feel that when I try to write a post with an empathetic tone, I sound so fake, kinda like all the people in my school. Lets get into it anyways

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I saw this TikTok video yesterday and it was this girl that was replying to a comment that said “how are you so confident” and if I knew who that girl was I would shout her out but I don’t so like deal with it, but anyways, she was so… como se dice… perfect. Like she was a nice confident where she is outgoing but wouldn’t be like “fuck you” to every person who breathes near her. Anyways, that is besides the point, but she literally just said “because nobody fucking cares! In a couple of hundred years everyone on this earth will literally be dead and nobody will remember that thing you said or the clothes you wore or anything because it won’t carry on once we all die”. I mean unless you do something so awful like a proper historical downfall, you shouldn’t change for anyone. Like that person you are changing yourself for is gonna die and so are you so why are you trying to do something for them when eventually it won’t matter at all and you should live the life that you want when you have it.

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I always get a wee bit scared when I talk about doing whatever you want because it won’t mean shit in the future because I always feel people are going to use that as a reason for like killing someone or just doing something awful because “it won’t matter” but like don’t think I am saying that. I don’t want to be responsible for murder, but like you know what I mean. It is the things like caring what other people think about you and stuff like that. Trying to make others happy before yourself and that shit. We are all guilty of doing this and that’s fine because that is what we have learned and it isn’t our fault, but it is also ok because we can fix it, as long as it is for yourself. That is kinda why I like being single at this stage. I mean having someone that actually likes you must be nice, but I like the fact that I am free to fully figure myself out and think about myself as an individual and if a relationship comes from that then it is perfect. But from past experiences I know that having a partner can be kinda restrictive and, at least in my position, I always changed myself to be perfect for him and to not be myself. Maybe if you have a healthy relationship then that is different, but you need to think carefully about who you are with.

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And also, literally if that person remembers it for the rest of their life, maybe they laugh about how you panicked in a school play until the day they die, then that is only one life and you should move on with it because they will die one day and that is it. It won’t become a family tradition to carry on this story. And the embarrassing thing you did, you aren’t the first person to do that. I mean the earth is millions of years old and even in just the past 100 years, there have probably been millions of people that have done the same as you. What you also need to remind yourself is that if someone actually does hang onto that one thing you did ages ago and makes fun of it, they have no fucking life. I mean would a person who actually mattered focus on that thing everyday or would they move on with life and all the opportunities they will come to have. And the people who remember it and therefore have no life, shouldn’t worry you because it doesn’t make you less than them and you know the only reason they remember that is because they have made it their whole personality trait and that is the only bit of information they can actually keep in their pea sized brain.

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So yeah, I hope this boosted your confidence in some way and that you can come to terms with the reality of life and how eventually, just like humans, rumors will die. Stories die and you aren’t weird or dumb for what you did. But yeah, just don’t give a shit and you will be good I guess. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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To All The TikTokers That Are Fighting Each Other…

Lately, since the whole Logan Paul and KSI fight or whoever it was, all tiktokers and youtubers have literally been fighting for no fucking reason. I mean at the start it was fun you know, like it was new and exciting, like a relationship. But also like a relationship, they get old and you realise the person you are with is quite stupid and irrelevant. You start to realise they are not actually interesting and you only liked them when it was new but now you realise they are not all that they seem. Who the fuck can actually keep up with all the fights going on? Like honestly I feel like I am back in primary school watch two kids flail their arms at each other and crying. Like it is really embarrassing and not the big of a deal. So what you can beat up another guy from the street? That literally doesn’t prove anything other than the fact you have no life so waste all your time training to win some shit contest.

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To be honest though, I have grown to respect Logan Paul more because his brother, Jake Paul, is an actual twat. What the fuck was the whole “gotcha hat” shit. I mean where was the need? What mental health issues do you have to think that people would respect you for that? And then it meant he couldn’t watch his brothers match which he trained a lot for. I mean I still don’t watch Logan Paul because I am not a 10 year old boy, but at least he is more mature. And don’t even get me fucking started on fucking Bryce Hall! Like it frustrates me so much for some reason. He really thinks he is the bees knees and when he literally stuck up his middle fingers at the guy he was going to fight, it literally looked like he was going to shit himself, like literally shit himself. It just bugs me so much how they think people really care that much.

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To be honest, I don’t even know a lot of the people who are fighting and that kinda just shows they are doing it for the publicity. It’s hardly like if Bryce won I would be like “yes, absolute dream boy I love him” because no, he is still a bad person. Like I don’t like him. When will they stop though for real. They aren’t professional and although I respect the determination, why don’t you just handle it some other way other than just making a fool of yourself. Just go back to the dis-tracks because at least those were funny and say what we all were thinking. Nobody cares if you can beat someone up or knock someone down when they are off guard and you look like a target employee, like literally grow up please. And I do know this will really annoy some people, mostly 10 year old kids, but like they are so annoying and it doesn’t get them anywhere. Why don’t they fight a real boxer who isn’t retired instead of either retired boxers, wrestlers or just random influencers. Make it make sense please.

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Do you know what does crack me up about it though? The fact that they really think they are doing something! They really think they are adored and hilarious. Their egos are built up so high that people are beginning to climb up it and put fucking flags at the top. They really don’t need that. They think that whoever can scream the loudest and get their face closest to the camera are elite. They walk around as though they are about to take someones lunch money but I honestly think if they came up to me I could literally flick them and they would explode. End of the world? And at the interview after they act as though they didn’t just beat up a retired or unprofessional man. Like you really didn’t do much. They try to act like the pros as well. Jake Paul really does be trying to be Conor Mcgregor and it could be a comedy skit, no joke. To be fair, the acting is good but it is fucking obvious, so maybe get your own personality for once.

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And just incase Jack Paul, Bryce Hall and whoever is dragged into this shit (apart from KSI and stuff who are actually respectful) reads this and gets worked up about it. I ain’t gonna fight you. Like you are defo gonna come to my house and start something but I don’t give a flying fuck bitch. I kinda hope they do read this though because that would be hilarious in all honesty. Watch them come out with a sad video called “I’m taking a mental health break” as though we are about to fall in love with them.

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Anyways, this was kind of an immature post but I feel like I just needed it off my chest and that other’s will probably relate to it as well, but make sure to like, comment and follow if you enjoyed this and want more comedy content like this. Check out some of my other posts that are a bit different to this one and I will see you again tomorrow with a new post. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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Could I Be Bothered? | Part 4

I feel like a lot of people will understand me when I say that there are things that people can literally just talk about and that makes you feel exhausted or just unmotivated to do that thing despite the fact you aren’t even going to do it but the thought of it is so horrible you want to cry? That is a bit of a weird introduction but you know what I mean, right? Like if someone was like “oh my god do you remember that time you went kayaking for ages and your arms and legs and everything were exhausted and then you had to do a 10K walk afterwards?” By the way, that was targeted at my dad and I am still mentally recovering from it. But whenever I remember that it is as if I get PTSD from it and literally get so scared at the thought that I did that. I don’t really know where I am going with this intro but I am going to stop now and we can start talking about things that make me physically and mentally fed up.

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Camping

Funny Camping Memes 2020 - Run Bryan Run

As a white family, we did some messed up shit. Like that might sound racist but I have seen videos of POC who are like “white people are messed up” and I agree with that because my family just be going outside in the middle of nowhere to shit in a fucking forest and sleep with the bloody insects. We used to do this a lot and I guess it was fun with my friends but like now that I have half a brain and am not made to enjoy things, I really do hate camping. I’m sorry but I just don’t see the point. You gotta pack and carry a bunch of shit and bring in to the middle of nowhere or go to a cramped site with a bunch of kids screaming and people being actually active and going on walks at like 5 in the morning and, while there are toilets, they are so stinking I feel like I contracted 10 diseases just by washing my hands. To be fair, I don’t mind if I set up a tent in my back garden, but if you expect me to bring fucking sleeping bags and a fire starter, I will in fact run away. So I can not be bothered to go camping. I would prefer to look at the stars from the comfort of my bed, looking through the window or standing outside for a sec while the kettle is on thank you very much.

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Small Talk

SMALL TALK MEMES image memes at relatably.com

I’m sorry but we need to normalise going straight to the deep stuff. And that doesn’t mean “what is your star sign” because at that point I would walk away, but I mean instead of being like “the weather is crap today isn’t it lol”, why can’t we just be like “What is your favorite childhood memory”. I know that sounds creepy as fuck and I definitely wouldn’t just go up to someone and say that, but like I hate small talk. It is so cringey and awkward and it very rarely leads to anything. We can hardly go like “yeah the weather is crap, but do you know what else is crap? The cats movie” and then go off on a whole tangent because to me it seems desperate. It is also awkward starting off small talk. I know it is kinda just to fill in the awkward silence but I honestly hate starting a small talk convo because you just be like “sooo… how are you” like what the fuck is that.

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Raising a Child

Memebase - raising kids - All Your Memes In Our Base ...

To be fair, I am a wee bit away from this happening to me… I hope, and my mind will probably change but does it not sound so scary to have to push a fucking human out and then one day they just kick you out of hospital and you and whoever your partner is are just standing like, what the fuck do we do now. This is the start of their fucking life. There isn’t a big change in the world, sparkles and rainbows don’t magically appear. You have to somehow understand what the baby wants by its crying, unless you are one of those people who can somehow communicate with babies or whatever harry potter, 6th sense, fairy-tale shit you have. And I’m really sorry if I am freaking out some pregnant person out there, I am sure you will be great, but like it could not be me. You need to make sure they are fed, they are breathing, they sleep, they shit everywhere, they get bored, they cry, they live. They are a freaking tiny human and you are making up a personality and a life for this baby. It sounds awesome but like what if they turn out like a prick. What if your child is a prick or just really annoying and creepy and now you have a literal annoying person living with you and if you say anything, they turn into rebellious teens and you are just waiting until they turn 18 but that is a long fucking time. But yeah, good luck to all the parents aren’t there. At least society takes most of the blame for how mentally fucked they have become 🙂

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Not Wearing Face Masks

25 Funny Face Mask Memes | The Funny Beaver

Despite the fact a lot of people are so dramatic with face masks and literally complain every second about how they “can’t breathe” or “this is so uncomfortable”, I kinda am going to be screwed when we don’t have to wear them anymore because I do weird things with my mouth when my mask is on. I have a habit of doing that weird awkward smile all the time or just sticking my tongue out a wee tiny bit for absolutely no reason and also making tiny noises, but when I take it off I will have to remember that people can see my face and the weird shit I do with it and sometimes I can be quite expressive so what if in school someone I hate is talking shit and I just look at them with disgust and then see that I am silently judging them! I defo will be exposed but I think I’m ready for it. I don’t know why but I always feel ready to throw hands at an annoying person if I needed to or just talk shit for a straight hour. Maybe if it leads to that, I can get some of my anger out and it will get better, yay! Watch me look at everyone with a rude face and start fights everywhere lmao.

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Working In The Hospital

Funny-Doctors-Medical-Memes | Bored Panda

I was gonna say working as a doctor, but I feel like it doesn’t give the other’s justice because I don’t think I could do any of their jobs. Like, when I was at hospital, the nurses were always so lovely and kind even though they had 10 old people arguing about the TV, 5 kids throwing up, 3 doctors ordering them to do things at a time and a partridge in a pear tree. They really do the most and are still happy but I cry if I burn my toast in the morning. That is a different type of hurt though. I am also watching grey’s anatomy at the moment and, firstly it is awesome, but secondly, what the actual fuck. They just all seem to know everything. This guy could come in and cough once and they would be like “oh my god he has supercalifragilisticfeefifofumI’mgettingrippedtonight. And then they know how to fix it. How do they remember all that! Seriously though can any medical person please say how you know it all instantly and stay calm when you have to save people from near death and you know every detail and name of things. It couldn’t be me. I would get stuck on how to pronounce a word and then not realise my patient is literally having a seizure right next to me. I respect you guys honestly. I also want to know if you actually do literal 48 hour shifts! Is that not literally kinda bad for you and also having to diagnose people. Do you not just cry at every single patient you see. Could not be me but thank you for volunteering as tribute *wistles*

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Anyways, that’s all I can be bothered with today in all honesty. Here’s a bonus. Can I be bothered to do more? No, so yeah. But please do comment below if you have anything else to add, I always love seeing what you have to say, and make sure to like and follow for more. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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The Audacity

Hey guys, so if you have read my blog before, you will know that I have a twin sister. We have pretty much the same friend group but there are a few people that she would be more friendly with than me because… well, I’m a socially awkward kinda bitch. But the reason the title … Continue reading The Audacity

Guess Whose Back!

Bro, obviously it’s me but I just needed something a bit more exciting as the title because I don’t think many people would click on “Sorry I have posted the last few days, I was busy” so yeah, if you guessed right then well done, but if not then I hope for you sake that … Continue reading Guess Whose Back!

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And You Did This For What?

I think we all related to this title a bit too much when you first read it. I know that whoever clicked on this was like “this shit about to be good” and it is because I am going to tell you about a few times that I have asked that question in my head and I am pretty sure you will be able to relate to at least a few of these, and if for some reason you don’t, you either don’t have any siblings or you are a foetus and haven’t experienced the world yet. So lets get started shall we.

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Are you in a bad mood?

Donttouchmynewtonballs When You're in a Really Bad Mood ...

This one needs a bit of context but you can probably understand what I mean already. I hate whenever you are just having an overall bad day and you just feel a bit low and can’t be arsed to do anything or act nice all the time and then your parents go ahead and say “why are you in a bad mood”. I don’t know if they don’t understand but it sound so freaking condescending and I wasn’t in a “bad mood”, I was having a bad day and they are not the same thing. Just because we may not be smiling 100% off the time, it doesn’t mean we are a full on annoying teen. To be honest, I get annoyed whenever they mention mood at all. Like if they were like “hows the mood today” and you just look at them like, was it that hard to just say how are you. I don’t know if that is just me but it ruins the already depressing day. Just because I am a teen it doesn’t mean that I am grumpy every time I am quiet. I rest my case bitch.

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Looking at your phone

24 Hilarious Cell Phone Memes

You know when you are sitting next to someone and you are just on your phone cause your bored as fuck and then they have audacity to just watch everything you are doing and they try to fucking hide the fact they are spying on you but like you aren’t dumb so you can tell they are side-eyeing you. Like I don’t know why but it stresses me out so much and I don’t want to do anything because if I look up at them or move my phone so they can’t see it, they get offended. Like bitch you were the one that was spying on me so don’t get offended. I don’t really mind if it is my friends or something because if I am on my phone it is for a particular reason you know, but it just aggravates me. Especially on road trips because I sit in the middle (so my sisters don’t literally kill each other) and they both are able to just stare at my phone. Even though they usually don’t, I am too scared to do anything in case they look over for even a second and then shout something like “DAMN YOUR SNAPCHATS SO DRY!!” or “Why are you playing that. That’s so boring”. That is the point where you just put down your phone and stare at them for a while until you reach the perfect moment to say “shut the fuck up” and then you go back to normal.

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Jumping out

60 Of The Best Sibling Memes Ever | Bored Panda

This one goes out to all the people with siblings who have high blood pressure from the fear that comes with walking past or through a door. It really do be scary because there will also be a 99% chance that someone is going to scare you or throw something at you. It is fun to be fair, if you are the one scaring or throwing something. But I have become very observant in my lifetime because I just scan every sound, movement and light to make sure the coast is clear. Going into my kitchen is the most dangerous place because people can hide at both sides of the door, but if you hide behind the door, I will see you because I look through the crack as I walk by. It is a skill I guess, no biggy lol. And our dog is a big give away too because he just stares at you like an idiot. Another thing is when you are sitting down and you just get the urge to annoy them. It is really weird and can lead to a lot of things. At my stage, we have moved on from attacking the other for what they do and now we kinda just stare at each other like what the fuck just happened. Sometimes, what I like to do is throw a pillow, randomly punch them on the shoulder, leave their door open and then just freestyle it you know. It is quite the fun one, unless they pick to fight back and you get scared that they actually will kill you 🙂

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“Are you…”

When Someone Asks You a Dumb Question at Work What Would ...

The last thing I want to mention today is whenever people state the fucking obvious. Like they state every fucking thing as though they have just become the dumbest people on earth. It literally angers me to just talk about it. And these people pop out of nowhere. I could be walking outside with my dog on the leash and someone would pop out from the fucking sky and be like “are you taking the dog on a walk” and you just stare at them like “no, I’m leaving the dog outside to die” Like what the fuck does it look like I’m doing. Or when you sit in a room watching the TV and they come in and are like “oh, are you watching something” and you look at them like “no actually, I am fucking blind. Can you tell me where I am?”. They literally ask the most ridiculous things too. I am sure that one of these type of people has just risen up from the depths of hell and asked “are you breathing” and then went back down laughing evilly, leaving the other person on the floor crying with anger. I can picture it now. Can people seriously not just connect the dots, it isn’t that hard bitch.

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Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed that and you related to a few of them. You have to admit though, you have been through at least 2 of these. Comment down below if you have and also feel free to tell me what you get annoyed by and I might mention you in my next post. Don’t forget to like, follow and comment if you liked this content and I will be sure to make more like this. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Weekly Reminder

Hello guys, so I have posted in like two days but don’t worry it was just for my birthday so didn’t really have much time, but I’m back now so we are good to go. And what a better way to get back into things than a weekly reminder you know. I don’t really have … Continue reading Weekly Reminder

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Going Back To “Normal”

Hey guys, so I haven’t really posted on here in a wee bit but like life happens so deal with it. Anyways, I guess I just wanted to just talk about how today I am kind of transitioning back into a normal, pre-covid, life. And what is it that I am doing you might ask? Well, I am going to be going back to Ju-Jitsu for the first time in forever which is kind of fun but at this point I don’t even know if I am interested in going and that could be because it has been a while or it could also be my mental state lol. A large portion of it is also not being able to body slam people and knock the shit out of them. You don’t really do that in Ju-Jitsu anyways, but like I did karate before and there were fights that you could do and it was actually quite fun. I think the only reason I stopped that was because it was becoming very serious for me and they wanted to put me in world championships and that shit but I am quite a home-bird and also that was around the time I started first year and my mental health was… declining. So yeah, in another world you could have been watching me knock the shit out of someone on the Olympics, but that would be women’s sports so I guess it isn’t that big. LOL THAT WAS A JOKE I SWEAR. I AM A WOMAN AND JUST MAKING FUN OF THE FACT MEN THINK WOMEN’S SPORTS IS BORING.

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But yeah, I think I tried 4 different martial arts classes in my lifetime. I also swear that when I first asked my parent’s if I could start karate I thought I was making up a word but I must have heard it from someone subconsciously and I was so freaked out when they said “sure”. I’m not sure if that was a mistake or not but I did ballet before and that was not my cuppa tea lets just say. I have a really embarrassing story from ballet but I don’t think I will ever tell you what it is. So I don’t know why I just told you that if I am not even going to tell the story lol but yeah it was embarrassing. Do you know what is funny though, and my English teacher would literally eat this up, is that I started my ‘martial arts journey’ in the leisure center and the 4th that I am in now is at the same leisure center! Cyclical structure?! I hate how I thought of that. LETS ANALYZE IT! no. I never have to do that again and I am thankful for that everyday.

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You probably aren’t wondering, but I am going to tell you, why I left each of the classes. They are pretty good stories actually so lets get started

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  1. The first place I went to was at the leisure center and it was for karate. My friend at the time went their too and I was like wow this is so fun. Except for when the grading part came (if you don’t know, this is how you go up the belts). The man that was their was so fucking creepy and there were so many people I didn’t know and the building that it was in was so sketchy and like had the worst vibes. I think a lot of my anxieties formed there. So that was one reason, and literally gave me PTSD to think about, but the other reason was because it was a small class and literally took fucking ages to move up just one belt. I think that for moving up each belt you had to do 2 gradings and then when you got to the higher belts you had to do 4 to get to the next belt. I know the black belt takes a while but like the fucking rest of them!? There was no need. So I left
  2. The second place I went to was probably one of my favorites because the people their were nice, I moved up pretty quickly because, ya know, I was a pro and all that. I stayed there a while and only left because high school really messed me up. I remember one time I literally cried when I was doing one of my gradings because I was so stressed out about everything. It was in a nice hall this time but like was still far from home and different to usual and really just set a bad vibe for the rest of the day. I liked this one a lot because they were obviously serious about it and actually did fighting and shit. There were competitions I went to and did well at and I nearly got to my brown belt I think, but I still remember the last day I went there and I was literally holding back tears and then when I got back to the car my mum was like “what’s wrong” and you know that hits different when you have been holding back tears the whole time, so then I quit. Little did I know that was only the fucking start lmao. High school was not good for me, let me tell you that. But I actually enjoyed it and fully miss it.
  3. The third place was BY FAR the worst of them all. I remember going to it and it was a fucking joke. I should have known from their logo and their fucking clown gees. It was new and my mum was like you need to go because you are good at martial arts and I was like fine and I actually hated it with a passion. They made it seem like they were so cool but they pretty much made up their own fucking martial art. These people spent 30 minutes of the 45 minutes doing warm ups and then the last 15 minutes I was having to work my way through literal fetuses doing random ass moves. They had a fucking grey belt! I might as well leave it there. They fully made up a belt and thought they were doing something. Like bitch just stop. And they would have all these literal weapons that looked like they were from an unrealistic ninja movie. I stayed there way too long and it was honestly embarrassing. People literally send their kids there and think they are gonna become a pro fighter but no, they are just gonna become a joke. So I left that place
  4. The forth place. The place I am at now. The place that I like despite a few different complications. The people there, to start, are mainly nice, but there are a select few who I… dislike strongly and would happily knock out. I am on my purple belt actually so have been there a while. The people are nice and, unlike the third place, they are official and not a joke. I am starting back today and the only reason I am not looking forward to it is that you aren’t even allowed to throw people so there quite literally will be nothing to do, but it’s fine. There are other reasons too but I think I have insulted my peers enough today.
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Anyways, that is all I can be bothered to talk about today. Lets hope it all goes well and I can control my emotions well enough. I am also not very fit after all that time off so literally watch me get the reddest face ever lmao. Are you guys starting anything normal at the moment or are a lot of your hobbies still closed? Leave your answer in the comment section below, I would love to hear what you are doing. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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The World Needs More…

The world needs more pockets. Nope, that isn’t a joke. Today I am talking about why the world needs more pockets *gets kicked out of Climate Change organisation* In all honesty though, I have a solid argument about why we need more pockets. Maybe not in the USA though. They’ll just carry more guns 😮 … Continue reading The World Needs More…

Weekly Reminder

Hi guys. This post is quite late but I am sure none of you really care about that. The truth is though, this week has been tough and I don’t want to hide that from you all because despite the fact I usually upload positive content and jokes etc. my life is not perfect. Not … Continue reading Weekly Reminder

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Do You Know What’s Weird? Languages

Me, personally, I love languages. I don’t know what it is about them but I find them so interesting because the whole world has different ways of communicating and it makes sense to people despite the fact we have absolutely no clue what they are talking about. To be fair I only know Spanish and English but still. I mean I wish I had the time or the motivation to learn more because it is so awesome, but there are also times where I just think to myself “what the fuck”.

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There was a time where there were no languages and then the next day they were just like “ok we need to come up with a way to communicate that everyone will understand” but how did they say that to each other? How did they talk about starting this and using their voices to make words. And I know that a lot of modern languages came from Latin or some shit but how did Latin come around, and if we know what that came from then how did that other language start? There was once just a person that was like ok we need to do this but how the hell. And they were the ones to create the best invention in the world because now we can communicate and thrive.

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This might sound a bit stupid but, being the dumb child I was, when I would ask how Spanish people would understand what other people were saying when speaking Spanish, my mum would say “well it’s just their language so they understand it like we do with English” and for some utter shit reason, I thought that meant that they would translate what they said into English and then translate their response back into the language they spoke and then I would be so confused as to why they couldn’t understand us when they have to translate everything into English to understand it. Obviously, I have changed now and actually love languages but how fucking dumb was that. Literally, me thinking that everything revolves around English which is actually kind of does and I feel privileged to be a fluent English speaker, but I was innocent as fuck back then.

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That kind of leads me to my next point. Why have we chosen a ‘superior language’? How did we just decide that it would be English? Now, I know that English isn’t the world’s most spoken first language but like pretty much all countries, I think, kind of make you learn English in school as if you wouldn’t succeed without it. I know that I learn languages but it isn’t as stressed as what I would think learning English would be. And English is a fucking hard language. In never fully appreciated how hard it was until a couple of years ago because before I was like “well we don’t even have an accents on our words so it isn’t even that hard” but then I realised that words are spelled and pronounced so differently that it is just ridiculous. I mean who the fuck decided there would be silent letters. Like Pterodactyl. What the fuck is that? Honestly. And then there are the rules like “I before e except after c” but then there are still words that go against that. Honestly, I would give up if I had to learn it. Wait!!! I just remembered one of the most ridiculous words in the English dictionary. Queue. This has to be a joke. You can not tell me that the only letter you pronounce is the very first one while the others are just there for show. Like how the hell is that real. As a person of the English language, I would like to formally apologize for this and I hope this hasn’t fully destroyed your love for languages.

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Are there just people who come up with languages though. That’s the thing. And how long did it take for the first speakers to start a language because I mean damn, I can barely speak the language I have known my whole life. Props to them I suppose but I only have one more question for you. Were you on literal drugs when you came up with it because god damn this shit is crazy. But yeah, I suppose that is my questions over for now about how weird languages are. I still love them to be fair but like, they are freaking weird. If anyone is reading this and has had to learn English as a second language, please comment down below and tell us what it was like to you and what other things still confuse and shock you to this day because I am sure there are many. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Job Update (It Do Be Like That Sometimes)

So guys, I didn’t get the job, but I mean it’s fine. Honestly, like it’s fine. This was my first ever one to be fair so if I was expecting results, I would be a bit dumb you know. The truth is though, I don’t know what I would have done if I did get the job. The guy would ring me and be like “hey you got the job” and then I would be like “that’s great thank you” and then it would be an awkward pause just with me on the other line like what the fuck now. And if I got the job I would most definitely be like “well fuck. I don’t actually want to work though”. People always say to look at the positives, so in this situation that is that I have an excuse to do nothing. I guess I will have to look for more work in the mean time, but like doe now I can be like “damn, I wish I could be walking back and forth between Karen’s and a boiling kitchen with heavy plates and 0 hour of sleep. I guess I will just relax and be sad about it”.

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For me, I am the type of person whose social battery can go from 100 to 0 in a second. I’m basically an iPhone battery bitch cause it changes real quick. So imagine what I would be like if I had to be crazy happy for a bit and then all of a sudden I crashed. No tip for me I guess. This would literally be me… “Hi, My name is Ally and I am going to be your server today! What can I get for you guys 🙂 Ok, so that’s 2 burg… *crashes on ground, rolls into ball, sleeps*” and the customers are like “we’ll have chips with that too”. It would be a laugh but like everyone would think I am some sort of quirky emo.

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I guess I don’t feel too bad that I didn’t get the job because literally half of the people my age applied for it. I wonder how many got it though? Lol, everyone but me. Imagine. I could never step foot in that restaurant again, not like I go there anyways but still, I would keep my distance. The thing is though, I thought the interview went quite well. Me and the guy were kinda hitting it off, in the non-relationship way, as in we chatted. We had things in common and a bit of banter you know. Toxic friendship I suppose. Nrs only real ones know. But no, he actually didn’t really ask that many questions. Maybe that was a red flag that he already found the good ones and didn’t give a shit anymore. Do you guys want a re-inaction of what the thing was like, with a bit of a twist and my inner commentary. No? Shut up, Imma do it anyways.

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So I walked in, already sweating like a pig, and the restaurant was kind of empty but like there were a few people working there. I saw one girl and she was like “just wait there for a second” and I was like ok but I don’t want a fucking seat, I want to take your fucking job, but then another waitress was like “is everything ok” and I was like “no actually, life is pretty tough at the moment beca…”, “no I meant can I help you” and then I said I was here for an interview and I sat down for a bit at a random table which was kind of awkward because it was a reserved table and I didn’t know if that was for me or if a family would walk in and just see this random sweaty girl on their seat. Oh, I would also like to clear up that the whole “is everything ok” bit from above was a joke, I didn’t do that lol. Just making sure :/ But I was just there looking awkward as fuck because I didn’t want to go on my phone because the guy defo would have come and said no right on the spot for being a lazy hoe, so I just starred into nowhere as I sat and waited for 10 mins with my CV in my dripping, shaking hand. Then the guy came and I went from 0 to 100 real fast. Like, my waitress mode was turned on to maximum bitch.

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Oh my god, this part is so embarrassing, but when we were going to the table he was saying “the hand sanitizer is there but be careful when you press down because it can squirt out a bit” and I was like ok, there is no way I could mess this up, we are fine. The thing is, I thought it just meant it splattered a bit, but no. This bitch FLEW. Like I had my hand over it a bit to catch any spray, but this hoe went right over it. And I looked so dumb, but I don’t know if he saw. Like he just told me to be careful and then I went ahead and got it everywhere anyways. I was near wetting myself because it still was kinda funny to be honest. It really defied the laws of gravity. I really don’t know how it did that you know. Maybe that was the first test and he realised I was an absolute idiot so he just decided on the spot.

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There is more to the story really, but it isn’t even that funny or important, I just basically acted over enthusiastically and agreed to what he said. I also can’t be bothered to type the rest because I am quite the tired one today, but I will post tomorrow hopefully so don’t forget to subscribe, like and comment so that I can make this my job instead. Show that bottle of hand sanitizer that I am the shit. But yeah, I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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My Only Summer Goal

To all my friends out there, I am sorry bitches but like this is my big goal. You are already my whole life so that’s why it isn’t a goal but of course I will still spend time with you. Or I will for as long as my mental state will let me lol. That … Continue reading My Only Summer Goal

Weekly Reminder

My last ever GCSE exam (hopefully) is on tomorrow. Pretty freaky. Didn’t really think I would make it this far. I was wanting to do one of the things where it is like after 2 years, 107 hours of study, 20 mental break downs etc. but I can’t add up all of the mental breakdowns … Continue reading Weekly Reminder

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My Honest Interview Answers

Hi guys, so as some of you will already know, I have my first ever interview tomorrow. And I am shitting it to say the least. It has caused me to have many a breakdown and freaking out about what I should say about the generic questions and whether or not I would end up completely fucking it up because I accidentally tell the truth. I mean you do kinda have to make white lies in an interview or to slightly bend the truth, but to get all the thoughts about saying something wrong our of my head, I am gonna spill them here and if the interview guy is reading this, it is all a joke :/

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Tell me about yourself

I’m a chronically awkward bitch who likes to people please and in the event of a customer or staff members slight change in tone, I will have a breakdown. But that doesn’t mean I won’t throw hands if a Karen act’s up. I can remember stuff kind of well but if there is a silence for even 1 millisecond, my face will light up bright red. I can get overwhelmed but that isn’t knew to me. I have a twin and an older sister, one of which I am pretty sure has anger issues and the other is alright I guess but I am always the peace maker between them and that means I have to sit in the middle of the car. I would count that as one of my trauma’s. I can either be very energetic, or I won’t be able to move a muscle. If you hire me, I may or may not be the most awkward person you will meet until you get to know me. Then you will realise I am a ‘unique’ person.

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Why do you want this job?

I don’t. To tell you the truth like. I mean I will get paid though won’t I? That is literally the only reason I am here right now but even if I get hired, I might just leave because I think everyone hates me. I guess I also want tips, as in cash, not like training or anything like that. Although if you have any tips on how to enjoy life, that would be great. I also kinda need this job because it is the socially acceptable age to get a job like this and if I don’t get one I will be broke and also judged, so not too different from now, but like I want to keep it at the same level

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What is your biggest weakness?

ahhaha, I think the easier question would be “what isn’t your biggest weakness” because we could be here for days. But let’s see… hmm… oooh this ones my favorite. You see, I do this thing where I feel as though I don’t belong here and that everyone hates me and wishes I wasn’t there. Also, I sometimes speak really fast or slur my words and I also can’t write that fast or that well, so the cooks might have a bit of a problem with that. I also don’t take criticism well so if I do something wrong, I may or may not cry or never speak ever again. I also have a tendency to not make friends because I think they all hate me, think I am weird, don’t want me there and I also am very much awful at small talk. Do you want anymore?

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Why should we pick you?

I have no clue bitch, but if you need a reason not to pick me, ask my ex because he seemed to have a lot of reasons to treat me like shit. Also, if you do pick me, I will think that you did that by accident and that the other people who didn’t get it now hate me. Also I will panic a lot and although I will work very hard, I will be shaking so much that I don’t think I could carry out any plates or drinks. I also can’t do math all that well if I don’t have a calculator. And if you don’t hire me, I don’t think I can ever go back here again because I will be highly embarrassed so you would loose a customer as well

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Tell me about a time you have been in a stressful situation?

Oh, so my life story? Ok, well it all started the day I was born… 5 hours later… and here I am pissing myself because I realised that I just told you every single memory I have and you guys have actually left I just realised so now I am talking to a wall. Oh, and the lights just turned off so I guess I am the last one here. Why am I still talking to myself?

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Do you have any questions you would like to ask us?

Yes actually. What am I applying for again?

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Anyways, thank you guys for reading this post, I hope you enjoyed it. It was kind of a piss take but like that is honestly what I would say. Wish me luck for my interview and hopefully I don’t say anything like I just did above. Tell me about what your first interview was like. Did you make any mistakes, or panic or any more bad experiences? Write them in the comment section below. I can’t wait to read them. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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The Audacity

Hey guys, so if you have read my blog before, you will know that I have a twin sister. We have pretty much the same friend group but there are a few people that she would be more friendly with than me because… well, I’m a socially awkward kinda bitch. But the reason the title of this post is “the audacity” is because she went out with one of her friends and I realised, she has a life away from me. That cheeky bitch.

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Was that time we spent together in the womb not enough for her?! I mean how can she function and survive away from me. It just isn’t allowed. I mean if they asked me if I wanted to go out, would I say yes? Probably not because I am starting this thing called “slowly growing apart from others until I have no friends and eventually be in the elite level of depression”. It isn’t funny. I highly don’t recommend but I can’t go back now lol. I really can but that is besides the point. I then realised that my older sister and my mum and my dad have a life. They are not just characters that only live for my life. They have friends, a personality, they must be nice if people actually want to be around them. People see them as a friend or a co-worker and not as a parent or a sister. And sometimes you just gotta take a moment to realise all that and kind of understand the… what’s the word… the audacity. Even you, the person reading this, has a life. You are somewhere in the world doing something, maybe you are on a train, you are on a plane, you just woke up from a nap, maybe you are having lunch. I don’t even know! But you have a whole freaking life and by some miracle you are reading my own freaking post and I don’t know how low your day has got to get to reading this shit of a post, but hey, thanks I suppose.

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Do you know what else makes me go “the audacity of that bitch” is whenever you are walking and a person that clearly sees you doesn’t move out of the way even a bit when the are taking up the whole path. Let me tell you a few stories about a couple of those times. So it was last Christmas. I was walking my dog as you do, and this kid, an obvious prick, was on his bike around his street. I was on the footpath and he was on the road and I was walking, minding my own business. There were no cars around or nothing. Just me on the footpath and him on the road. And guess what this idiot decides to do. He looks me straight in the eye, goes onto the foot path and cycles right into me. He nearly fucking hit my dog and I wouldn’t give as much of a shit if he hit me, but if he hit my dog, lets just say I would be on Santa’s naughty list and he would be on the ground. He is defo gonna be a chav when he grows up. I just glared and was just thinking that he is gonna be a prick to some poor person in the future. He is gonna be so mean to whoever he is around and I hope to fuck it ain’t me. Next time I plan to just stop and let him move out of the way first because ladies first bitch!

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Another time something like this happened was literally last week and again I was walking my dog and it was in a forest park so the paths are a fine size, but there isn’t much space to go off the path if you needed to. So I was walking and this man and his wife we walking towards me. They dead-ass looked me in the eyes, they fucking saw me, and I moved to the side a bit to be polite because I know there is still the whole “respect your elders” bullshit, but I couldn’t move much further so I expected them to at least move to the side a bit, especially with the pandemilevato. But guess what, they don’t move an inch. Not a fucking millimetre and here I was looking like an actual ass because I had to turn into a fucking leaf just to not bump into them. And you may say they didn’t have enough room or they didn’t see me. But they looked right at me, they could have gone one behind the other or moved over a bit, and they did the same thing again. I am going to make a pact with you guys though, and you have to try and do the same. Next time you see that someone is going to do something similar to you, don’t move. Stand your ground and then if the people turn around and be like “your rude” or “why did you hit into me” just say “because I haven’t got no more fucks to give”. I mean quite obviously, don’t do this to a car or if you yourself are in a car because I don’t want to be charged for being the cause of a murder.

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Reading through this post, the vibes changed quite quickly didn’t they, but I think that was a pretty relatable one if I say so myself. But anyways, don’t forget to like, follow and comment if you enjoyed that content. Make sure you check out some of my other posts as well because, not to toot my own horn, but some are pretty good. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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Do You Know What’s Weird? Everything

So I know this is quite a broad topic guys. I know what I am getting myself into. An existential crisis. But I am ready for it you know. I am ready to question life and everything there is to do about it because… to be honest, I’m bored and don’t have anything else to do, so lets go ahead and get this started together.

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Did you know that if all our empty space was taken away from out atoms, a single person would fit into a grain of sand. And did you know that if the whole universe had the space between the atoms taken away that it would fit inside a sugar cube. I mean this bitch really taking grandpa in my pocket to a whole new level. And then also, if you took an atom and made it’s nucleus into the size if a peanut, then the electrons would be the size of a fucking tennis court! I am not even joking with you guys! That is true! To be honest, I think electrons are definitely a “pick me” type of person. Like was there any need to be so large. And also take up so much fucking space. I mean what is the point of that. Does the nucleus have a bloody restriction order from the electrons because I don’t blame it, it seems like a sassy bitch. But like 99.99999999…% of an atom is just empty space but then how the fuck is everything solid. How the actual hell can we not just break things so easily. How are things bloody solid! And if the electrons, protons and neutrons are all just energy how the hell do they come to make something solid and is there some sort of connection between them that means they don’t go out of line. How do they make up everything? Yet are literally pretty much nothing. And how do we know that it is 99.99999999…% empty space? We haven’t gotten anything small enough to be able to see it, yet we literally see this as a fact.

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So many things now a days are a theory, but like surely after all this time you would have figured something out as a fact. Like we are just prepared to believe everything aren’t we. If a scientist came out and said “we are all fucking caterpillars who just haven’t turned into butterflies yet!” the world would literally eat it up. We would all go around thinking how crazy it is that we are all caterpillars and then bitches would be going around saying “oh my it all makes sense now. That is why when we die we get angel wings or devil wings” as though it was clear all along. Like the actual fuck! But then there are still people who are like “oh my god get that vaccine away from me! It contains a whole fucking laptop in it that will slowly poison me, make a clone of me, fly to the sun to their secret base and then come back home to eat the hearts of children!”. I think that is why I couldn’t be a nurse or a doctor because I would actually have to just slap them in the face and shout “you actual dumb bitch. You update your fucking Facebook friends every time you take a shit so obviously you aren’t that private. I’m going to have to call a cleaner for all the crap that just came out of your mouth. Why the fuck would we want to track your boring ass anyways? So we can see how long it takes to get to the manager’s office, Karen?! Huh! Don’t flatter yourself bitch”. Wow that went off topic a bit

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What other things are kinda weird? Hmm, well I guess this is kinda the same thing but like the beginning of the universe and I guess the universe now. I mean you are telling me that all the mass that has ever been in the universe or ever will be has been here since the very beginning of time. I was there (well, I mean my atoms were) and you and everyone else. The floor you stand on the air you breathe and we were all confined withing a dense ball that just happened to be here somehow. Like how did that mass just happen to become a thing and if matter can’t be created or destroyed then how was it created in the first place?! Answer me that science. Oh and I would like to say that I am not saying this from a religious perspective, it really just boggles my mind. But moving on, like how did it just burst one day and what was it in? What did it burst into? What is outside the walls of the universe? How do we know that the universe is still expanding? Is someone out there looking? Because what if you get to the end and then you are like “what the fuck do we do now?” like are you expecting there to be a door or some guy just walks out like “shit I didn’t think you would get here so early” and then just restart the universe. And what I also have to admit is that, if the world was a whole simulation, I couldn’t give a shit. Like who cares. Nothing else will really change. And if my life happened to be the Truman show, I also wouldn’t care. I mean that would be pretty cool. Everyone knows me, everyone (hopefully) likes me, and most likely I won’t even become broke because they want to make good TV not just a bum on the street. I mean I hardly doubt it is but like what’s the big problem?

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So yeah, I guess that is a bit of it. I am sure you know that this isn’t all of everything so I might have to make another post about this on a later date, but, for now, my 99.99999999% empty space, atom made, universe old, Truman show ass is tired, so I will see you later I guess. Don’t forget to like, follow and comment if you liked this type of content. I also just wanted to mention that, if you want, I mean you obviously don’t have to lol, there is a wee space below where you can like donate money to my blog so that I can keep doing this type of stuff in the future. Anything helps, but like if you don’t want to give a stranger money, that’s fine, but maybe you could leave a like or something. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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Guess Whose Back!

Bro, obviously it’s me but I just needed something a bit more exciting as the title because I don’t think many people would click on “Sorry I have posted the last few days, I was busy” so yeah, if you guessed right then well done, but if not then I hope for you sake that this is the first time reading my blog. I don’t really know what I am going to talk about in this blog but I promised myself that I would post something today because I haven’t posted in a while and I feel like, as a very very professional business woman, it is not in my optimal interest that I do not expel a writing into the world of the internet. I really hope you guys know that was a joke and that I am not some sort of business bitch with a stick up my ass. So yeah, I just thought I shouldn’t leave my blog posts so far apart.

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If you were wanting an explanation for why I wasn’t posting, it is because it was my birthday and because of corona and all that crap I couldn’t have all of my friends over at once so I kinda split it up into groups. I know that makes me sound like a proper popular bitch, but the truth is I am not and it is just because my mum rented me and my twin a hot tub and we couldn’t have a lot of people in it, and the corona thing of course. Also my question is, why do I always try to reassure people that I am not popular. I mean is it because I think it makes me look more ‘relatable’? I don’t think so. Is it because I think a lot of popular people are as fake as Nicki Minaj’s ass, or as toxic as my last relationship? Maybe. But I do find myself doing that a lot which kind of also makes me seem like one of those ‘pick me’ bitches who wants to seem so #relatable. Anyways, that is a bit off top, except there was no topic so really it was off. But off what? If it isn’t off anything then it wasn’t on anything so then it is nothing, so I guess this whole paragraph isn’t off topic so that’s good.

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For my birthday my mum got me 2 driving lessons with the young drivers things and I have to say I am quite buzzing because I have asked my mum for ages if I can even just turn on the car and she was like “no” every time. I am pretty certain that she has like trauma from teaching my older sister and isn’t quite prepared to have to teach 2 at the same time, so that isn’t the best for me I guess. I don’t blame her though, I mean even now that my sister got her license I am terrified because her road rage is… let’s just say it could start WW3, so yeah. Those trips are fun :/ But like mum why would you develop 2 people in your womb if you couldn’t teach them both to drive? I mean were you not thinking about that?! Absolutely raging. I don’t mind though, except I kinda do, but like I am not even at the legal age to get my license, so I suppose I shouldn’t be complaining, but I am to you guys so enjoy that I suppose. I wonder what the people in the young drivers thing are like. Are they super relaxed and are ready to crash into some sort of building, or do they have so much anxiety of a minor driving a car for the first time that they ensure absolutely nothing happens. What if they have road rage like my sister? I couldn’t be dealing. I also have this thing where I have to say every little thing I am about to do when I am learning something and it is quite embarrassing to be honest. It isn’t until I have perfected it that I stop and even then, if someone is watching, I do it. Like in Ju-Jitsu, whenever I learned a new throw or something, I would be like “ok so punch and then block and turn around, foot there, arm, lean forward, throw, grab wrist and punch ok ” Like I whisper it under my breath so it isn’t even that but what if I sound insane like I am talking to someone and then the instructor is just like “what the fuck” and huddling in the corner just staring at me. I also go really red whenever I do something wrong or am with any living being so he will either think I have stopped breathing, turning into the devil, or turning into baby jack jack from the incredible’s. But it will be fun right?!

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Anyways, this post kinda went all over the place, but like I think I might start the podcast I had been talking about because it is much easier to ramble on when you talk than with a computer and it also makes you seem less like a psychopath. I keep saying that I will but then nobody even says anything so I don’t know if you just don’t give a shit or what but I have a tendency to not doing something until someone else agrees with it or replies in a positive way so like if you think I should start a podcast, defo go ahead and comment because I am quite messed up mentally. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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Go read some more…

I Am Confusion

Right, can someone please tell me why the FUCK is everyone getting married. Now, I don’t mean people in their 20’s or their 30’s or anything normal like that. But I mean people my fucking age, a teenager, getting married! I mean, I get it. True love and all at shit and meeting the love … Continue reading I Am Confusion

The Maybe Story

Today I wanted to share a story with you guys that I heard a while back. It is a random story but yet it has a big meaning behind it. So grab a cuppa tea and enjoy. There was this old Chinese farmer who spent all of his days working on his crops, until one … Continue reading The Maybe Story

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My Only Summer Goal

To all my friends out there, I am sorry bitches but like this is my big goal. You are already my whole life so that’s why it isn’t a goal but of course I will still spend time with you. Or I will for as long as my mental state will let me lol. That was totally irrelevant to be honest lol because I don’t think any of them read this, if you do though please comment below lmao, or not because, well, I don’t care 😮 But anyways, I am just rambling so let me tell you what my one goal is for summer. Drum roll please… BECOMING MY OWN BOSS AND NOT HAVING TO GO TO SCHOOL EVER AGAIN IF I DON’T WANT TO. Quite the ambitious one isn’t it. But this summer I have 3 and a half months off for summer so if I work my ass off with my blogs and other affiliate marketing things on the side, surely I can get at least enough money to prove to my mum I can do it.

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The other week I was kinda like “I donny know if I want to go back to school for my A levels” and then she was like “ok, you don’t have to” (in the petty mum voice which sends shivers down your spine) “but you have to come up with a plan of action” and I was like “you know what, I will bitch” and so I sat down with pen and paper for a second and then was like “fuck” I have no clue how to bloody get there. But the great thing is, I am young so really I have no financial responsibilities of having to provide for my family and I shouldn’t even have to think about that yet. The thing is though, when I get to A levels I won’t have as much time to do all this stuff, but summer started yesterday for me, so I have all the time in the world (well… 3 and a half months) to be able to reach my goal of financial freedom. And trust me, I am bloody scared that at the end of that time I will be on this blog like “heyyy, so… here’s the thing… BYE” because I can’t really afford to pay for this blog if I have a McDonalds minimum wage, you know.

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And I know this sounds like I am about to go into this whole “GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONEY” type shit, but in reality I am only talking about this here because then I will feel like all of you guys are going to judge me if I don’t get it, and you will know about everything I do so I can’t just drop out as though nothing happens. So that is why I am kinda giving this a whole post, not for the charity lmao, but for the pressure :] But yeah, if you could give some motivational speeches in the comments or something that would be great. I know what I want to do to achieve it like, but kinda feel like I will chicken out or just accept I will have to stay at a 9-5 job for the rest of my life. And if by the end of summer I haven’t made my goal, please add some resumes in the comment section because I will need the help. I really do have confidence in myself don’t I.

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You may be wondering, “why the hell do you want to make that your summer goal? Why not a hot girl summer or something like that?”. Bitch you obviously haven’t met my pasty ass because I am not attractive or confident enough to do that, so why not just hide away until I have the money to become tan as fuck and get all the babes in Miami instead of bloody Portrush which is teeming with chavs and pedos? I also don’t want to have to live a paycheck-to-paycheck life because that isn’t me. I want to be able to earn passive income and eventually make it so that my parent’s never have to work again, and I can go on holidays and do whatever the hell I want, and also give back to others like actually getting my hands dirty by building schools in Africa or some shit like that. I want to make a change while making money too. And it most likely won’t happen but I am used to disappointments and I already am one so what do I have to loose? Literally nothing. Maybe just some self-respect but I don’t have much of that anyways, so I am going to fucking try because this might be the last chance I ever get. Comment down below if you have any motivation or tips and tell me what your goal for summer is? I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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The Most Embarrassing Moment In Human History

I have made a few story times in my blog. Many of which are so bad I will probably never show my face to you guys, ever. But, as I am never going to show my face, I may as well tell you some other times that I want erased from my mind and everyone elses.

School Hallway

This one has literally been burned into my mind and everyone reminds me of it at random moment, just as I forget about it. So it was in first year. I was waiting outside of Latin (I know it sounds so fancy but it was crap) and it was a really busy corridor. And for some reason I was leaning against the wall with my legs out a bit and then I ducking slipped. As is that wasn’t bad enough, it was in front of a bloody teaser and they just looked at me with disgust and was like “get up of the floor”. So as if it wasn’t embarrassing enough being a first year, I had to slip in front of everyone smh

Little Fight

Right, so when I was younger, maybe p7 or something, I did karate. I was a proper pro so I went to competitions and at one point you had to fight someone, with gloves obviously, but that’s besides the point. So my coach was like, can you fill in for someone in their fight, and I was like of course because 1, he could literally beat me up and 2, it was fun. So here I was walking to the fight and I was like where is everyone? I look down and there they were. Literal foetuses. I looked at my mum like “is this even fucking legal” and it was so bad. I could have inialated them, but I had no clue what to do and it was so crap. I quit not long after that lol

The Tea Was Too Hot

This moment was literally so painful. So my mum made us go and meet her cousin when I was like 12 or something. I was so awkward as a kid but when she asked me about my teachers I was now a literal extrovert because there was finally something I could say about. There was this teacher that was really strict and that people were scared of, it was a Latin teacher actually, and I was telling her about the teacher. She looks at my mum and goes “ THE *teachers name*” and my heart dropped. Tell me why, out of the billions of people on this earth, this bitch had to be the teachers stepdaughter. So I just told her that everyone was scared of her mum. I can never forget this.

Zoom Call Disaster

Here I was, another day on online school. It was the last lesson before we got of for 1 week. So k was excited and exhausted you know. And by this point I was sick of the awkward silence whenever she asked something so I was like, I’m just gonna get this I over with. So I waited for someone else to go first and then I eventually spoke. No joke, someone else spoke at the exact same time as me, so it was just a second of us speaking over each other and I died inside. And I never spoke on zoom again.

Goodbyes Are Always Difficult

I think this was like 5 years ago, but I had been part of a club called ‘Guides’ with my friends. For Americans, it is basically girl scouts but sexist. They taught us to like clean and cook you know. But yeah, we wanted to quite, so at the end of our last guides holiday, they were asking us what we wanted to do in guides next year and we were like, we are kinda going to quit. Let’s just say our timing was not good because they talked to us for ages and we had to spend the rest of that day, and the hour car ride home, listening to their passive aggressive comments. What made it more embarrassing was that when they were asking us if we were leaving, I was like “well we are thinking about it but probably we might 100% be leaving”. Why am I such an awkward bitch?

Anyways, that was embarrassing so please feel free to comment if something similar has happened to you or whether you have other embarrassing stories. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


A Wise Woman Once Said… and She Lived Happily Ever After

This post sounds like it is going to be really sentimental and I mean, I suppose it it, but just let me tell you what the sentence says. So, one day I was walking around town with my friends and we went into this shop just for the lols and then when I saw this I thought that I just needed it. It was actually on a card but I thought that it would be a nice decoration for my room. Now, I look at it every day and just think that I have never seen anything more powerful in my life

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A wise woman one said “fuck this shit” and she lived happily ever after

I mean periodt. I now live my life like that woman because it is s true. Maybe it has gone a bit too far though because I use this whenever I have a slight inconvenience in my life. I can’t finish one of the Math questions? Fuck this shit. I am not instantly perfect at something? Fuck this shit. You know what I mean. But I guess it is a good thing to live off because you really can’t be taking life too seriously. I mean think about it. We are living on a rock flying around a ball of gas in a massive empty space that is constantly growing into some unknown thing which has been around for billions of years, yet we are made to sit in school for the first 20+ years of our life to learn about shit that doesn’t mean anything to us and we also have the audacity to care about what others think. Basically everything we know is a theory too. The structure of the earth is a theory, evolution is a theory, the atomic structure is a theory. Pretty much everything is a theory that we choose to believe as the truth. We have made giant pieces of metal fly in the sky with people in it and we have made massive skyscrapers. The world is so fucked up yet so amazing. There are so many things we know and yet we know nothing at all. It is the biggest joke and yet we take it seriously. We actually give a fuck what people think. People that will, one day, never be in our life again and will one day die and forget that time you did something embarrassing.

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We gotta all stop taking life so seriously because no matter how many homework’s you miss, no matter how many times you get turned down or dumped, no matter how many times you fail, it means fuck all because it will have no massive income on any of this. Now, you can take this in the wrong way and think “then what is the point in doing any off this”, or you can take this in the better way that we just need to live our life the way we want to and get remembered as the baddest bitch who gave no fucks. It is just like the saying “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take” so go and fucking do what you want because you never know, that could make an impact of others. They might be inspired by you, look up to you for years, be in history books. The thing about life is that you either get remembered for something massively impactful or nothing at all. That’s great! You won’t get remembered for the time you told someone you liked them but got rejected. You wont be remembered for the time you tripped up, or the time you failed a test, or the time you forgot the lines in a play. It may seem so big in the moment, but we all just gotta remember that this shit means nothing and that doesn’t even count for a fraction of the time of the universe. The universe will go on for billions of years so that one moment will be so insignificant that it won’t matter, so why should you dwell on it?

So if you are gonna do anything, be that wise women and say “FUCK THIS SHIT”. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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Numbers That Make Me See The World Differently (Do You Feel The Same Way?)

Let’s get something cleared up. I’m not about to start talking about how the number 5 gives the same vibes as purple. Because if I was we would be here all day. I am talking about statistics that make me think, lol that’s cool. Ya know? Still no? Ok, well let’s just get into it then and you will understand. Oh, and by the way, make sure you read the last one. It is the most interesting one

0.1%

If you are like me, you constantly feel as though pretty much everyone in the world hates you and you will never find love… damn, that got deep. Anyways, this statistic shows that even if 99.9% of the entire worlds population despises you, there are still 6700,000 people that like you. Yup. 0.1% of the population is still a lot of bloody people. And for most people, all you need is that one person out of all those people that like you. So yeah, there are still a lot of people who love you for who you are and the only way you can find them is by being yourself. Don’t loose hope guys

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80%+

Quickly, lets just think of all the things that are in the sea at the moment. So there is that wee one with the really sharp teeth at the wee light coming out of his head, first of all can we appreciate how fucking weird that is. Then there are also massive whales that are so long and heavy and awesome, but like they just vibe as though they aren’t bigger than my giant forehead. Now back to the 80%+ bit. We have only explored that much of the sea. So what does that mean? Well that means that just over 10% of the sea has been explored and there are billions of other species yet to be discovered yet we literally live on the same planet as them but we don’t even know they exist. I mean these bitches could be miles down and have literal human legs with a shark body and a gold fish head. The possibilities are endless and I am out here being scared of seaweed.

3%

Right so let’s get something cleared up. I think we all knew that red hair was the rarest hair type, but did you know only 3% of the population have blonde hair. It kind of makes me feel special though LOL I sound like such a ‘pick me’ girl right now but I am kinda like, damn, that’s cool. That is such a small number of people and I am here just being one of those people. Famous?

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100 elephants

As soon as I saw the article describe the weight of this thing in terms of ELEPHANTS I just knew it was american lol I mean that is so random but I love it. Anyways, the average weight of clouds is 100 elephants. How bloody crazy is that. I mean you look up there and think awk how cute, they look so fluffy and stuff. But in reality they could just crush your house in a second. I mean that’s an unhealthy relationship if I have ever heard one. But it is so weird how they really do just be floating up there despite their weight and, I am not weight shaming of course, but like damn, 100 ELEPHANTS. I’m impressed.

0

This was the most interesting one I found. I left it last because you need time to process it really. Out of all the people in the world, out of the billion people breathing right now, nobody asked. Yeah. Yep. It is true Karen. I am telling you, nobody asked.

Thank you so much for reading and I really hoped it opened your eyes to some of the things that you may not have known, yet are really cool. Anyways, please like, follow and comment if you enjoyed these figures or if you have any interesting facts too. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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Little Things That Annoy Me On Online School For No Reason (Have You Noticed Them?)

There are a lot of common things people get annoyed at, whether that is just having to sit around all day or the WiFi not working, just stuff like that. I am not talking about these things today, I am talking about the little tiny things that others may not notice, just like one of those tiny flies that fly around your face while you are talking and you just can’t stop getting distracted by it.

Silent But Deadly

I know what this title makes you think of, but that isn’t it. What I mean by it is that I hate it when there are certain teachers who ask a question and go quiet for way too long. Nobody is answering and nobody know who is about to start talking first. Maybe nobody will, but that is even worse. There are three ways this can end. 1, you speak first. Nobody else talks and you get it right. Well done you, you stopped the bomb. 2, you start to talk, but so does somebody else. You both stop starting and stopping to talk at the same time, just that little sidestep you do when trying to get past someone. You never speak on zoom again in fear of this happening. 3, nobody talks, the teacher waits longer, still nobody talks. Suddenly, you find yourself in deep shit. The teacher is shouting, complaining about everything going on in their life. Their marriage, quarantine, drinking problem. They stop. Everyone leaves. So yeah, a majority of the time, it is not ideal. I hate the silence with a passion.

Sweet Or Sour

Right, this is literally the most annoying ever. This is when the teacher’s are trying to act nice but everyone can tell they couldn’t give a shit. To be fair I don’t blame them, but passive aggressiveness annoys me in general. Like they just be staring at the camera and you can see it in their eyes that they are ready to slap us all, but they have ask a question like ‘hope you guys are all ok’. Oh my god, or they like ‘just text if you want me to help you with anything’ but you can tell they will give you fuck all if you ask them. The last example of this is also when we have had quite a quiet class, so everyone is a bit on edge, and then at the end of the class they say ‘has anyone got anything to ask’ and then time just stops. We all have our mouse on the end call button, even the teacher, but she just stares as if we have literally failed her as a class. She is as close to giving up as she is to the camera. Just their face staring. It do be giving me nightmares. Yeah, that kind of passive aggressiveness just gets to me :O

*crickets* THANK YOUUUUUU

Ok, so I guess this is nice for the teachers, but this is when the class is so quiet the whole time and then the teachers say ‘bye’ and then there is a long silence when everyone stays on the call waiting for one person to say ‘thank you’. Then everyone erupts and says THANK YOU at the exact same time. I do feel kind of bad if we don’t do that I guess, but the thing is, nobody wants to be the first person so you are just waiting there awkwardly and then all of a sudden your ears are blown off. I just can’t deal.

The most important thing is _/\/\/\_ is that all OK guys?

Just ignore my attempt of trying to portray a glitch through a keyboard. And to be fair, this kind of a big thing that happens to probably everyone, but… get over it, this is my blog. LOL anyways. You could have been sitting through a whole bloody lesson just for this one piece of info that you need and then that is the moment that they glitch. You just waiting for it and all of a sudden, BOOM, WiFi is non-existent. Yes, I probably could just ask for her to repeat that. Will I know? No. Why? Because then the exact same thing I explained in the first example will happen, and I am still recovering from last time. I mean maybe the thing she said wasn’t that important, right?

Time is Ticking Bitches

In our school, our classes are only supposed to be 45 minutes each to give us time for any technical difficulties and stuff like that. Now lets play a bit of ‘never have I ever’. Never have I ever finished class in 45 minutes. Never have I ever not been rushing to go onto my next class. Never have I ever had my class run into break and lunch time. Oh wait! I have actually. The only thing getting them away from it is the fact they are my favourite teacher. And every single time they keep saying ‘I am conscious of the time guys, don’t worry’. Umm, I don’t think you fucking are because the time is ticking. And then they keep going on with other questions and it is so dragged out because nobody answers and then they do a massive conclusion and then there is the whole bloody awkward THANK YOU thing at the end even though we have nothing to be thankful for!!!!

What Is Time Anyways

On the topic of time, I don’t think that the teachers really realise that the timetable is still a thing. They be starting and finishing these lessons as though they themselves are literally time. They also forget that, just because we at home, doesn’t mean we have more time for work. They be like ‘here is a big pile of homework’, we all panic but she says ‘don’t worry, I know it is a lot’, relaxing, then ‘I am setting it for tomorrow instead of the end of the day’, PANIC. They really woke up and chose evil.

Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed and this actually makes sense for some. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


What Are Teen’s Greatest Fears?

Did you know that we are all born with only 2 fears? The fear of falling, and the fear of loud noises. So what does that mean? It means that the fears we have now were learned. And when you think of your fears you actually begin to realise that it actually makes sense. I remember that one time I went on a picnic with my granny and my younger cousins. Of course, there just had to be bees and I am not one of those ones who stick around, and I am not ashamed to say it. So here me and my sisters were, literally getting attacked my Barry B Benson and his mates. Obviously, we were swatting them away and freaking out just a little bit. Ok, maybe more than a bit. FINE, we were panicking a lot. But then my granny was like ‘literally stop being a bitch’, ok, maybe that wasn’t her exact words, but then she was like ‘you are gonna make them think bees are scary’. I am happy to say they now have a healthy dose of fear. They don’t just sit and do nothing although they aren’t as scared as I am. I think that I am the one who has stopped them from being stung soooooo. But yeah, let’s get into the fears that I think most teens have, that society has given us.

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F Is For Failing Your Family

Lol, so maybe that title was a bit over the top but I mean it kind of is true. We are taught that failing is bad. I know for me, no matter how easy a test is, I will be shaking when I get the results back. The thing is it happens for the most ridiculous. I was probably in primary school freaking out about what I got on my colouring page. I mean it ain’t that serious. But we have been taught from literally day 1 to not fail or we will literally fail in life. I hate that fact because no test on osmosis or poetry will ever prepare me for life. Like in school if someone is like ‘this is really hard’, the teacher will be like ‘welcome to the real world’… bitch where? I can’t see any real-world here. It is ridiculous I have to admit.

Disappointing Others

I don’t really mean disappointing strangers, but like disappointing the people you care about. This may not be true for everyone but I literally have nightmares of doing anything to disappoint anyone. I am pretty sure I had a nightmare one time that I didn’t cook the carrots right or something. I mean my dad isn’t bloody Gordon Ramsey. They aren’t even mean to me. I have no clue why I had a nightmare about that. But yeah I would say that a majority of the time, I only do things so I don’t disappoint anyone

Being Lonely

Ok, so I do realise that these are getting sad very quickly but it is true. It doesn’t mean we are always trying to find ‘the one’, but what I mean by that is that we are scared of not making friends, or losing friends and family. We aren’t all selfish people and a lot of the time people can seem really mean and selfish just so they can stay friends with the people in their group and they are just really scared to be left out. I suppose the FOMO also falls into this category, although I do know that not everyone really has this fear. I do though. Literally, whenever I see anyone having the tiniest bit of fun I am like ‘why am I not having fun’ and I feel so left out. Is that just me?

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Parents Searching Our Room Or Our Phone

I have no bloody clue why I get so scared when my mum comes into my room for a second or if I want to show her a pic and she takes my phone to look. There is literally nothing I have to hide yet I am like “what if she looks back to my text from last year on Instagram when I had an argument with a complete stranger”, or “what if she comes into my room and finds a bag of drugs even though I have never done drugs in my life. I could imagine that is what it feels like when a police car is behind you or when you are going through the metal detector at the airport.

Appointments

I should have left a TW sign for that title because this is the biggest one left. Nothing in this world compares to doctor appointments, dentist appointments, optician appointments, or anything else within that region. I swear to god I have no clue what the hell I will do when I grow up. My mum is coming with me no matter what. I swear to god though, my kids better not be wanting me to talk because I ain’t speaking. It’s gonna be a family trip by that point because I am going to have to bring my mum to my child’s appointments. No matter if I literally have my legging falling off, if they ask me what is wrong or what happened, I will not be answering that. But seriously though why is it so hard. They ask me my name, I panic and think “what if my mum lied to me all these years and I don’t know what my real name is”, then they be like what is your date of birth and I think “what the fuck is it? Was I even born? Am I even living right now?” and then when I remember I say “what if I was wrong? Would they arrest me and lock me up forever? I AM TOO AWKWARD FOR THAT!”. But then again, maybe I am overreacting, I don’t know.

Anyways, thank you so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed it and comment down below what you are scared of. Did you actually know that there is a fear that somewhere in the world a duck is looking at you? Let me know if you are one of those people because I did not know about that until last year. Please like and follow for more content like this. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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The Biggest Jokes In The World

Trust me guys, these ones are gonna get you only the floor because these are so hilarious. Get your gran’s oxygen tank because you won’t be able to breath after this.

The weekend

Why the hell do I blink my eyes and the weekend is gone. I waited 5 bloody days just to get to Saturday but then you just leave so quickly. You left faster than Donald Trump did on inauguration day. The truth is, Sunday isn’t even a real weekend because all I do is get mentally prepared for the week ahead. If the weekend was a human they would be a man because they have the bloody audacity…

‘Nice’ Teachers

If a teacher talks to the class and goes ‘I am gonna be nice and not give you any homework for over the weekend’, they act as though they just saved us all from bloody global warming. I mean I am just here like ‘Ok miss bare minimum’. That is literally what is expected of you. You want to be the fun teacher or just the down-to-earth teacher because they aren’t gonna tell us the story of how ‘I was once a teen too’ while they smile obnoxiously because I see what you are tryna do there hun and it is appreciated but like, a lot has changed since your time. Do you want me to show you the graph of mental illnesses for you?

Ripped Jeans

The funniest thing you could EVER say to a teen is ‘do you want me to fix those for you’ when they come down wearing ripped jeans. Trust me they will appreciate that so much. Did you see what I did there? It’s a scam. LOL literally never say that because I trust you we have heard that 1000 times before and it got old the first time you said it. It is called fashion Mr has worn the same shirt for 15 years. So yeah, just sit your ass down and mind ya business. Thank you.

We Are Here

Who else’s patterns thought they were literally Michael McIntyre whenever you were on a road trip and you would ask ‘are we here’ and they would do that massive smile as they look behind them and say ‘YES, we are here. But we aren’t there’. Bitch, I be looking out the windows to find the need. Why do you literally piss yourself after that. You know what I mean but you just gotta rub it in. I don’t really want a grammar lesson after 4 hours of driving and 5 applegreen stops.

This World

Please someone explain why the News has turned into a comedy program. I literally get that wee message on my phone and I am like this bitch is crazy. Everything that happens sounds so ridiculous. A pandemic? Yeah right. Global warming about to literally kill us? Sure. KFC ran out of chicken? OH SHIT.

Pockets

To be more specific, women’s pockets. This is one of the things you know a man made. These pockets are so non-existent that they may as well be called the ‘flat earth’. Grandpa in my pocket would even be suctioned into the pockets (if you are a cultured child you would know what that is referencing). If I can be a bit stereotypical for a second, women are the ones who bring EVERYTHING with them, apart from a coat but that’s beside the point, so why the hell give us pockets that can barely hold an atom. And then guys are over here like a snail because they can fit their whole house in those pockets. Whenever I put on absolutely anything and it has pockets, you will know about it because that is the best thing ever. Normalise giving girls actual pockets and not just those ones that are made by the devil himself because they look like pockets but you literally cannot put anything in them.

Thank you so much for reading. Please like, follow and comment if you liked this post because this is one of the most relatable things lol. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


Music To My Ears – My Memories Are Shattered

So you know when you grow up and you look back on the nursery rhymes, or any song you would jam out too on the crusty mat you had to sit on in primary school, and then you discover that these songs are literally wildly inappropriate but we just vibed with them. Yeah, lets talk about that.

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For me, my night time song would be the absolute classic ‘rockabye baby’. I have two questions. 1 – what the fuck? 2 – how the fuck did I fall asleep to that. Like honestly. Mum just comes into my room, sings me a song about a baby literally falling to its death, and then me just here like, off to sleep. WHAT? Was I literally deranged. Imma have to sing something like kidz bop songs just to get something suitable for the ears of my tiny developing child. But it is so funny though how just one day I was going to bed like 🙂 –> :0. That was literally live footage of me discovering I was listening to a murder song my whole life. The whole literal song is just demented. I want to know who made that song and find out what type of traumatizing childhood they had.

I am pretty sure the only normal bed time story in my family was ‘you are my sunshine’ which was my older sisters one. I can’t really remember about my twins one but I mean I know it was equally as traumatizing as my one. But literally though why are the songs so catchy. Is it to distract us from the actual lyrics. And it isn’t just nursery rhymes that are kind of disturbing, it is also the literal classics. How scundered would our parents be when we are sing songs like ‘Bang Bang’ by Jessie J and all them ones, or that song that has the lines ‘sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite me’ like the what the hell is this. Imagine the horror on our parents face when we just jumping around with our friends singing these type of songs as though our lives depended on it. Imagine if, in the future, our kids will literally be singing WAP or pretty much any song created within the past couple or years ahahaha

Oh I found out what my sisters bedtime song was, ‘twinkle twinkle little star’. Why the hell was I the only one with the messed up song? Is that why I am the most mentally messed up one because that would make the whole lot more sense. Comment down below what your messed up song as because it is literally funny. I mean who would just sit down one day and make a song about a literal deadly virus. I mean isn’t that what ‘ring around the Rosie’ about. And also who thought to show that song to children who literal have no clue what it means LOL. Do you reckon they will make a song about Corona? Maybe it will go like this (sing it with the twinkle, twinkle tune), ”rona, ‘rona, it’s not fake, and your taste it will take, you better wear a fucking mask, your school will send you an online task, ‘rona, ‘rona, it’s not fake, I want to hit it with a rake’. If you ask me, that was absolutely beautiful.

I hope this post really enlightened you and I am pretty sure you guys are the first to be subject to the new famous nursery rhyme, so congratulations I suppose. I feel like most songs are just meant to be felt, not understood. Why was the so deep?

Thank you so much for reading, please like, follow, share with your friends, and donate a wee bit of shmoney so I can really get this song to become viral LOL. I also have a wee tip for you guys, don’t think about songs while you go to bed because you will never get to sleep. Trust me. Hope you have a great day, stay safe, and stay yourself PERIODT.


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Unnecessarily Necessary Stuff I Have

Right so this is honestly like a tribute page to like Amazon I suppose (not sponsored) and how it just fulfills my weird addictions so stuff.


Wee Shower Brush Scrub

Click pic to get one

The great thing about this is that literally anyone can use it. Well I am pretty sure all hair types can use it although you can check that on the sight. But anyway, I mean you could just use your finger or whatever but I mean this is 2021 bitch. This is way better. I mean I don’t have fingers like that to be doing the work that that wee brush does. And it is dirt cheap so like what you got to loose. I mean it helps to grow your hair, get a real good clean and just other stuff like that. For me I try to not wash my hair too often so with this I get a really good clean so I can wait a little longer. I mean I just think it makes me seem like a professional. It is kinda like a massage too but I mean it wouldn’t be opening no spa any time soon, you know what I mean.

Star Projector

Click pic to get one

OK so I mean I guess my justification for this is that light pollution is depriving me of the stars but I mean it is nice to see them clearly and artificially, just like everything else in life. But yeah I mean I could look outside but why would I do that if they could just come into my room. To be fair they are just white lights but for the one in the picture they are like galaxy colours so just make it more… vibey (I don’t know how to say that in a non-cringey way). But yeah it is quite nice to just look at the stars which, for me, is the only thing school hasn’t ruined for me. I will cry if someday we learn about them and then suddenly all I can think about is how they are all made up of so many things blah blah blah. But yeah, 10 out of 10 do recommend.

Recipe Stand

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LOL I literally thought I was so creative until I searched up the picture because I use this to hold my school books but then I realised, everyone else does that too. Like I was walking through IKEA, as you do, and then I was like wow I am a genius. I guess not. So yeah this is in memory off my hopes and dreams. Anyway yeah, it makes it easier to hold books and makes you desk tidier and more professional looking. And the good thing for women like me is that later in life, if school doesn’t work out, we can use it for our recipes we will cook for the misogynistic world. LOL that was meant to be a joke but that got dark LOL. Umm, so anyways…

Bean Bag

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I think it was 2 years ago I got a bean bag for Christmas which, now, kind of seems like a random thing for someone to ask for but, do I regret it? No. Especially for when my friends some round, not all of the will have to sleep on the floor. It also just makes your room seem so much more cosy. My dog loves it too so I mean if that isn’t reason enough, I don’t know what is. I don’t use it all the time anymore but it makes lying on the ground on a bad day all the better. Just like a massive pillow. So yeah definitely a great purchase for the aesthetics or the comfort.

A Reading Light

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I don’t read… so. I mean you might read more so that would be useful but for me, I go through phases where reading sounds like the most interesting thing to do until I actually do it because that is when it gets boring. Now it is just another object in my room. I mean I don’t know why I have it but it’s cute I guess.

My sisters

Thank you so much for reading this, hopefully you liked the links and maybe bought yourself something nice because not everything you want in life is necessary, but you just gotta treat yourself I suppose. Please like, follow, and donate any money you have spare because I really want to keep all of my content free for everyone. Have a great day, stay safe, and stay yourself PERIODT.


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These Are 2 Of The Most Traumatic Things That Have Ever Happened


My life

Jokes, jokes, life is great :/ but lets actually start these stories off.

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Let me set the scene for you. You are in California for your holidays. You are around 10 years old when you and your family go into your family go into a shop. It isn’t crowded, just a few people here and there. You are just so happy to be on holiday and there are so many fun things in the shops so you look around for a while, but keep an eye on the multiple exits just to make sure that your family don’t leave. The next minute I look up, standing on my tippy toes to see over the shelves. Where the fuck is my family. Let me say, I am the worrier of the family (yes, yes, you can get autographs later) and so when I tell you my heart dropped, I mean it slam dunked itself into the concrete floor. I was like hmm maybe they just went outside right now so I check all the exits and looked around. Damn why is my heart beating fast just by typing this. The thing is, I could not see them. My mum always told me that if I get lost I should stay where I am, so I did, but then I was like I must look so weird. A smallest tourist just standing in the middle of an isle with no family, a bright red face, hyperventilating, with a souvenir in my hand. They still didn’t come to find me. I checked out the doors again just to see if they realised they had lost one of their children and when I couldn’t see them I finally went up to the counter in tears and was like ‘I can’t find my mum’. My legs where QUAKING. I was near to throwing up and then this security guard came over and was like ‘what’s the problem’ and I was like ‘MY PARENTS LEFT ME’. There were a few other shops in this wee section so we walked around those. This man probably thought I was high on drugs or caffeine because I was shaking all over the place with probably a badly matched hello kitty vest and bright yellow shorts. And finally I found them. They weren’t too far from the other shop but I hadn’t seen them as I was inside. But that isn’t even the worst part. I came running over to them with a security guard behind me and they were like ‘what happened’. THEM BITCHES DIDN’T KNOW I WAS LOST. I was in near tears. I was convinced I was an orphan. And after all that stress they didn’t even realise I was gone. Damn, thanks Mum and Dad.

Moana

OK so the only link with this story and the tile is water, but bare with me. Right, so this was only last year. Corona was in town so we couldn’t go out anywhere so we just went on a cheeky road trip to Dunegal. To be honest I could leave it there, I mean that is just traumatizing in itself. But anyways, we had got new wet suits because we were going to go in the sea. I know that sounds crazy but we just wanted a bit of a holiday experience. Anyways, I think it was the one of the last days and we went to this pretty nice beach. The waves were great and we were boogy boarding on the waves, good times all around, well, as good as Dunegal could be. First of all, my twin was literally drowning in the water and was like traumatised from that and then I was trying to catch a narly wave bro and I went quite far out. Mind you, I am terrified of the sea. I mean sea weed will give me a panic attack, no joke. And I was like, hmm, I seem to be floating out. It was kind of funny though because my sister and dad were like ‘umm are you OK?’ and here I was, in the middle of the ocean like ‘yeah it is completely cool, this is what I meant to do’ because I didn’t want to be panicking my sister. I don’t know if I am a great actor or what but I was out here literally nearly in tears paddling away on the water just like ‘hahah I am totally fine’. I was not. So every time I tried to catch a wave to go back to shore, I was just sucked back in. Like, I had never had somebody want me that much LOL. But anyways, the reason I didn’t want to panic was because my sister already nearly died and I was like ‘I gots to be strong’. Spoiler, I eventually got back by myself and my legs were shaking like jelly and then they were like ‘what the fuck just happened’ and I was like ‘nah, it’s cool man, just wanted a wee trip to the sea ya know’. Bitch I ain’t never going in the sea again. PERIODT.


Thank you for reading. Please like, follow and donate some change if you can because I want to keep all of my content free for everyone. Have a great day, stay safe, and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Facts School Doesn’t Teach You That Are Actually Helpful

So you know the way that literally most of the stuff in school will not benefit you at all in the future. Well, this is going to be the opposite of that, so here are some facts that are interesting and actually worth your time LOL.

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If you ever think you are being followed, take the next 4 right turns

LOL, wait is this even a fact. Well it is now, if you turn right 4 times you will end back in the same spot and if the person also turns right 4 times, well… go to the nearest police station and never go to your home. So yeah, smart fact… or advice… or hacks, whatever that one is called

Water gives you superpowers… of some sort

You know when you stay in the bath, or any form of water for too long, your fingers go all wrinkly and feel so weird. Well, that is just evolution. It is supposed to give you more grip so you can be like aqua man or something. Of course the only fault is that, to be able to crawl around in the great depths of the sea, you need to be able to breathe, but you can’t, unless you have an oxygen tank. Then you are probably aware of this, so… why are you still reading this?

Only 2% of high school relationships last

So, depending on who you are, this number may be reassuring because I mean who cares if you aren’t in a relationship now because it probably wont even go anywhere. And for others you may be with someone and you are now like, well, what the fuck, that’s sad. All I have to say to you is yes, yes it is.

Bragging boosts your confidence

This is for all the people who constantly get told that they talk about themselves too much or that they always talk about that one time they won a hot dog eating contest. Well guess what, now you can just say you are trying to become more confident. ‘I don’t care what you think Karen, I’m a bad bitch and I know it’, something along the lines of that I guess. Brag all you want, it is just helping your self-progress

Only 98% of the sea has been explored

So look, if you think ‘oh my god everything is already discovered. I am never going to have a fish named after me’ blah blah blah. Well, maybe you will. It is kind of spooky though because we have already found some messed up crap. Like the wee ones with the literal light hanging out of them and like literal octopi that just punch fish for no reason. So unless you are scared of literal seaweed, which definitely 100% is not me, you should go and just find a new fish. Good luck. And if you find multiple ones could you maybe call one ‘PERIODT’ just as some extra marketing for me. Maybe even periodts.com to make it more obvious if ya know what I mean. Or maybe call one, like Bob, or Peter because imagine there was this massive shark or whale thing that just kills everything in its sight and is one of the most fascinatingly horrific things and then the news reporter is like ‘As we can see here, a wild animal has just wiped out an entire ecosystem in one second. We lost a camera man and 2 of my fingers. That, ladies and gentlemen, is Bob’. Like that would be quite ironic.

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One of the best ways to save the environment is composting

Yo, why are we getting so environmental all of a sudden ahahah. But I mean it is true. So why you are in school learning about deforestation on mountains on paper, you can actually do something to help. I too am trying to start this although I never have the time thanks to bloody school and the sun which makes it too dark to early. I really do be using nature as an excuse for my laziness LOL.

Dogs think you can do no wrong

Listen, this is the most important fact on this page. Why? Because you need to know that if you accidentally step on their paw or step on them in the dark, they think you did that on purpose. SO RUN NOW AND SEE YOUR DOG! They need to know that you still love them and that the kick you gave them earlier was an accident… I hope.

This is great app to earn easy money

Lol, just a sneaky wee promo, although I am not sponsored and it is actually just good. It is passive income so all you need to do is click here and you can earn money while you sleep. This is a safe and legit website. I use it and it is great. I mean it ain’t gonna make you rich but it’ll make you richer than if you didn’t have it so…

The earth isn’t flat

LOL. The fact that this needs said

Vaccines aren’t a scam from the government

LOL that sounds like such a joke of a sentence but I mean it is true so like…

If you get stabbed, do not pull out the knife

Why do I sound like a doctor LOL. But yeah don’t do it. If we talk about this in terms of a bath, the knife is the plug, the bath is your body and the water is your blood. If you take the plug out, you just gonna empty the tub. Soon there will just be a bathtub. You will be unalive. Sorry I made that into a joke. Also I don’t know why I had to explain that because it was a pretty obvious idea. But anyways.

You don’t NEED toothpaste

Don’t attack me, I swear a dentist told me this. But he was like, technically toothpaste doesn’t help clean your teeth any better. It only adds fluorides and stuff like that. Of course he recommends using toothpaste but like just in case you don’t have toothpaste, you can still have healthy teeth, but with a stinky breath.

There is a higher chance that this is all a simulation than it not being a simulation

Sorry if that just gave someone like a panic attack but I mean if you think of it this way, why does it even matter? I mean life would just stay the same because we are already living in it. So the only thing that would change is that we know it is a simulation. For me I see it as a positive. I mean, we are never alone. Wait that sounds spoopy. What I mean is that everything that happens was made to happen and will be resolved eventually, we are just being tested. By the way this is all hypothetical, not that I am actually crazy by I’m just talking about what we could look at life like. I mean it would be cool and it reminds you that it doesn’t really matter what others think, but what you do to get attention from the wee people controlling us LOL.

Bonus fact – I need to stop saying LOL

Thank you for reading. Please like and follow to get more stuff like this. Also check out some of my promo codes because I mean if this is a simulation then you may as well look good while in it. Please donate some money also if you can so that I can keep all of my content free for everyone. Lots of love and hope you stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.


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The Holiday Which Shall Not Be Named

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LOL, do you know what is a coincidence. The fact that ‘he who shall not be named’ from Harry Potter and ‘the holiday who shall not be named’ from… this post, both start with the letter ‘v’. Can you guess what it is yet? Damn, seriously, OK well today is the 7th of February, and the holiday is one week from now. Oh my, you still don’t get it. It is valentines day. And just for a bit of background, this is my first valentines alone after 2 or 3 years with being with someone and to be fair I am actually happy about it, so you can probably tell what that relationship was like. Anyways, I kind of just wanted to talk about why it is good to be alone again this year in the perspective of a first time single on Valentines.


Money

Right, so during February you have only just recovered from the financial burden of Christmas, until BOOM, here comes valentines. I suppose it is different depending one what you do, but usually people get gifts for the other person and then you go out for dinner, which is always more expensive. I mean if you are by yourself on valentines, you can save that money, or better yet, spend it on you. You can buy all of the valentines chocolate without anyone suspecting a thing. I mean the plan is full proof. And you won’t have drown in more debt for a while. You can just look out at all the couples and laugh at how their pockets hurt. I mean why waste it on someone else when you can spend it on the most important person in your life, YOU. Who could be arsed to spend £20 on a starter and £50 on a dress or new clothes that you are only going to wear once. I mean this valentines when I went to Tescos I panicked for a second and then was like ‘fuck yeah! That ain’t my problem any more’. Although somehow I am still broke.

Time

LOL I remember I would spend so much time trying to pick out gifts for this person and where we would go, what we would do. I mean it took me so long to pick out what to wear and putting my makeup on. Up until the 14th I would be thinking non stop about it, not in a good way though, I mean like in a worrying way. I always worried about how it would turn out, how I would look, if he liked the gift, what I would say. Mostly bad things. But now I can focus on myself more which is good because you know the saying ‘if you can’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else’ and I mean I suppose it is true. I think that I am just happy that I don’t have to act different. I know that if you are in a healthy relationship, you wouldn’t have to do that, but for me I did which as so exhausting and I am happy to just be by myself and not have to put so much of my attention to another person.

Presents

Nah look, this isn’t about the money side of the gift, this is about actually getting a gift. I mean if you go out with a guy, what the fuck are you supposed to buy for them?! Why are they so bloody hard to buy for?! I mean for a girl they will like anything, a bracelet, flowers, a necklace, anything. But in shops they never having anything for the guys and you can’t really think of anything sentimental. My friend has gotten into a relationship (I know, Lord save her sole) and she was like ‘I’m not sure what to get him? What did you used to buy’. I looked at her like bitch I ain’t gotta clue. I was laughing and that is when I realised that I am so fucking happy not to have that problem anymore. I mean I was close to having to end up buying the person a lip-balm or something because I mean damn, there really is nothing to buy a guy.

Friends >>>>>>

OK, everyone needs to get this into their head. Valentines day is about spending time with the ones you love. I mean I know it is recognized for the day for couples, but lets change this. I mean couples should have that same energy everyday anyways, but lets bring friends into this. Making it a time for just celebrating relationships in general. Friendships, relationship with yourself, anything I suppose. It is so easy to bully yourself about being single again but what does that matter. I mean you weren’t put on this earth to fall in love with someone, someone who may break your heart one day. Just go out with the ones you know will stay with you forever, no matter what comes along. I mean you need to focus on what means more to you. A life long friendship or an Instagram photo to make others jealous.

Over all, I just want to get across that being single on valentines day isn’t a bad thing and you definitely should not find someone just to have a date on valentines, because trust me, a bad relationship is not worth it. Save this time for you and when you find the one, it wont be such a struggle. When you find the one it will be so easy to talk to them, to hang out with them, to love them. There is no point of losing your dignity just for a picture that you will most likely delete in the future. Nobody should come before yourself and you need to realize that before you start dating. Nobody is judging you for being single. I know I don’t. This year is gonna be a bit different for me but I am excited to at least be happier on this holiday. Not all relationships are easy so be happy you aren’t in one. Take this time for you and just remember, this is only one day with a name on it. It doesn’t really mean anything except there are hearts everywhere. Get some chocolates, put on a face mask, watch whatever movie you want because you ain’t got nobody to please. You do you boo.

Thank you for reading, please like, follow and donate some change so that I can keep all of my content free for everyone. Also go check out some of the discount codes I have for you all so you can save even more money on yourself while lookin’ good. Just remember that you are perfect and you don’t need anyone else to complete you PERIODT.


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What To Expect When Starting High School – Story Time Part 2

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It has been a week since I posted the part 1 so go check that out now and come back to this one after, I mean if you want, I guess it doesn’t really matter. Here is the link anyways – Part one. Anyways, let’s get into it. Last time I talked mostly about the teachers and the other people in the school, this time I am going to talk more about the work and tests.

Homework

Right, so when going from primary school to secondary school, you are gonna see a bit of a change. There won’t be any cut ‘n’ sticks, or any colouring in. It’ll be more like essays, tears and bullshit. I remember when I was in first year and I was guiding some parents around for the new year coming in soon and they were like ‘so what would you say the homework is like in first year, is there a lot? Is it hard?’ and I just looked at them like what the fuck am I supposed to say to that :/. This was the quickest I have thought in my lifetime, and I was like ‘it’s alright. I mean of course there is more than in primary school but the teachers are understanding if you have an excuse to hand it in later’. Bitch my acting was on point. That whole line was as fake as the girls in my year. I mean I was impressed by myself. Although don’t stress guys, it is literally the first year and they only put stress on you to see how good you really are. To be honest, a majority of them were drawing posters. Like no joke, the amazon rain forest was quaking with the amount of paper I had to use. So I guess it is a transition period in terms of homework. Personally I would recommend to not get too stressed about homework because as long as it hand it in on the day, they will think you are great. And besides, if you don’t do so well, it won’t go towards anything. Just use this year as a way to find out who you are and how you work best. For me, and this is gonna sound nerdy, I do my homework the day I get them. I have done that since the day I started and it helps me not get too stressed and I definitely recommend but I guess it depends on your lifestyle. As you can probably tell, I was not too social but we move.

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Exams

I am gonna have to be honest, the first year exams are not as laid back as the 2nd year ones. This is only because in the first year you kinda want to make an impression but in 2nd year you don’t need any of the grades and nobody really cares how you do. And you need to know that the first year stuff may seem really hard now, but trust me, in the future you will know it like the back of your hand. By third year, I didn’t even have to look at the first-year stuff because we did it so much. You will get sick of it, to be honest, but you gotta do what you gotta do. For me, I was stressing for all of the exams and literally was too worried about them. If I could tell my younger self something I would definitely tell them that your social life and mental health and 100 times more important than schoolwork. I mean you can’t be good at everything. A few bad grades don’t mean anything, especially when you are having a fun time. Anyways, on exam week, I do have to tell you, the school feels like a completely different place. I mean I would come into school as though it was my first day again and I was proper sweating as though this determined my life. By the way, it does fuck all for your future. Oh and also, I don’t know why but no matter how much you eat on the day of the exams, your stomach will be rumbling or making weird digestion noises. Yes they are very embarrassing and in third year I would literally be shaking the whole room. Don’t ask me why that happens but just know that it happens to the best of us.

Class Work

OK, so for the last comment in today’s ‘what to expect’, let’s talk about the actual work in class. Here is just a pre-warning. Your back will become deceased. Maybe not at the start of the year, but at the end you will have back problems so make use of a locker if you can. It may seem inconvenient but use it because all the older years who may not get one are very jealous and, to be respectful, I would use it. You will miss it when it is gone. Chances are you will also get folders for all of your classes, and yes this will make you feel very grown-up, but don’t let it get to your head. Holding them in your arms, even though you have room in your bag, does not make you look cool. When you are older you will get massive ones called lever arch files that actually way a tone and you physically can’t put them in your bag. Trust me, we don’t want to be holding them, and we won’t judge you for not holding a file, I mean, if anything, we envy you. But to the actual work now. The things you are learning now are gonna be retaught for at least the next three years of your life. You can take that as a reassurance that it doesn’t really matter if you don’t understand it now, or you can just take it as a warning for boredom. You will be learning stuff on top of that obvious but they will be talked about a lot. A majority of the work is OK but I think the hardest thing is that you have so many more subjects than just Maths, English and PE. For some, you will find awesome subjects that you love, and for others, you will find subjects that you detest and sleep in. That’s OK because you are just trying to find the ones you are interested in. In my first year of school we had to do Latin, don’t ask me why, but I would nearly cry every time from the sheer boredom. I mean I find a lot of subjects useless already, but learning a dead language was next-level pain. So overall, I just want to get you to know that, this year is going to be scary and hard for a lot of you but please don’t get too scared because when you look back on it you are gonna laugh at all the things you thought or did. Let yourself make those mistakes, or memories as I like to call them, and just remember that it will all get better. And take that from me, a person who had a really really tough time in my first year. If you wanna read more about it you can read it here. This year will pass and it will be different for many, but no matter what you know or don’t know yet, you will eventually catch up with everyone. I remember we would do wee quizzes that everyone did well in, everyone except me, but the first year, I would say, is mostly about getting everyone to the same level. Try not to get too stressed and know that you can comment any struggle you are having, or have had, on this post, or dm me on Instagram @periodtblogs

Thank you so much for reading this. Don’t forget to like, follow and donate some money because I really want to make all of my content free for everyone. Also go check out the discount codes I have for awesome shops. Hope you have a great year in school and try not to fit in too much, just be yourself and others will follow PERIODT.


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Zoom

Lately, I feel like the zoom classes have been as much of an emotional roller coaster as me. I mean, it is intimidating really. I mean I have felt almost everything on these zoom calls

Sadness

So this one is a given. I mean of course I am never going to go on a class happy. That is not what they intended. The most boring part of the day is now done in the most boring way. I mean at least in school I had someone to talk to when I am not bothered to learn, but now I only have the wall to stare at when I am not bothered to learn. I mean they really took the saying ‘I may as well be talking to a wall to a whole new level. Like damn. Every morning I just lie there for a second like ‘fuck’. You know. Another day of boredom. And I am in my GCSE years so I still have a full day of classes and they expect me to deal with it. Em no thank you. Scrolling down to the link, clicking on it, then staring at your teacher in a small cube is one of the saddest things I could do. No joke, at some points I do that wee office thing where you just stare of into the distance as though there is a camera, and in my head I’m like ‘what the fuck is happening’

Anger

I don’t know if I have cried more from anger or sadness but literally google classroom and zoom just don’t decide to work sometimes. Like I will have to click the link 5 times before it actually comes up. Thank god I have my camera off because I would come in looking like I just washed my face with an acid. It do be very red. And it is even more annoying when you have a bloody squeaky chair (if you did not catch on, my chair is squeaky) and for every move you make the chair goes like SQQssuUUeeJJJkkYYyyqq. I literally threaten to punch my chair as though I am five and then my teacher keeps buffering and expecting us to know everything she just said even though zoom just cancelled the most important part of the course. Don’t even get me started about when the teacher just waits for an answer. I mean they just will wait the whole hour until someone says ‘yes’ and I am here like ‘YOU ARE GOING TO FUCKING MAKING US DO THIS FOR HOMEWORK’ and they just sitting there like a raisin with their lips pursed and their arms crossed. I mean get over yourself. Half of us probably aren’t even in the room right now.

Accurate??????

Embarrassment

Why is it that every time I get asked to answer a question I get it wrong? I mean it is so much worse because everything is so dramatized. The awkward pause when you first answer, everyone is only concentrated on me, they know it was me, I don’t know what to say. Like this happened to me the other day, I got the answer wrong and he paused and was like ‘no. How did you get that?’ and I literally was like ’em, I don’t know’. When I tell you I died inside, I was literally deceased. Decaying. It was so bad. And it was a large class too. To be honest I am still recovering and I was talking to my friend after about how embarrassing that was and she said she was proper laughing at me. Let’s just say, I will forever just say my mic is not working.

LOL what is this picture

Fear

There are so many scary parts in the day. Forgetting to sign in even though you were at the class. Accidentally using the wrong email. Going on the zoom first. The teacher going to ask someone a question. The silence when nobody answers. When you hand in work one minute late. When you want to answer but don’t know if someone else is gonna answer or if the teacher will. When your teacher goes to shout at their kids. When your teacher gives a lecture about not talking. I mean the list could go on. But let’s talk about when teachers are gonna call on someone. In school you can at least see if the teacher is looking in your direction. You can look away. Look as though you don’t know or are still working on it. But on zoom, you have no clue where you are on their screen, you can’t look away because your camera isn’t even on and it is just an overall nightmare. And then if they do pick you, you may be lagged so don’t know if it was you or someone with a similar name. Then when you go to answer you literally can’t even turn on the mic and the whole class is silent. I mean someone could write a short horror movie about that. And then at the end you get the answer wrong and then the movie just ends with ‘KO’ or something like that. I do be getting anxiety in those calls.

Boredom

So I just felt like this had to be addressed even though it is obvious. 2 years ago I would say, the school could not get any worse. That bitch was dumb. I could not have been further from the truth. All-day I click come buttons, talk to myself, and just sit. I mean this is basically an office job, right? Although I guess it has given me the motivation to not end up in an office job. No offence to anyone, it is just I know that will not be the job for me. I prefer to be out and about. Besides, my back has literally died and I can’t deal with that all my life. No wonder my parents always have a sore back. The whole day I just want to sleep. I mean nothing is actually going into my brain. Then I start to focus on dumb things. Especially when they don’t even get us to write anything down. I’m like, bro, let me just sign off, go to be, and not wake up until corona is over.

Happiness *delete this later*

Stress

This is a given with school in general I suppose but these guys give the most unreasonable time to complete a task. And then even if I get it handed in slightly late, google classroom comes up with the ‘MISSING‘ and I literally get scared. They probably don’t give a crap though. Although sometimes they do be giving passive-aggressive messages that I don’t know how to respond to. We move though. The fact they literally expect us to work so fast too. Like they have the question up for one second and they expect us all to be done. No babes, my brain lags like the screen I am looking at. It is stressful when you get on the call late because you are like ‘are they going to literally call me out’ but then when you realise nobody is talking you have this moment of serenity. Well, nearly all the time. One time I went on late and it was all quiet but then a few minutes later I realised my speakers just weren’t working and I couldn’t hear her for the whole lesson. That was not ideal.

Tiredness

You have to admit it guys. There are days where you go onto class in your PJ’s and just fall asleep to the sound of their voice. It really makes you think about how many of them should not have become teachers because they literally have no tone in their voice. To be honest, even at the end of the day I am tired, and the middle, and… all of it. I am pretty sure I heard that it has something to do with the lack of sun. So if I ever go to take a day off school, I am just doing it for my health. *mean while it is raining pretty much everyday*. My eyes are literally so heavy though that someone could mistake me for being high. Like I look so awful and pale. I guess I can’t really say much has changed. It is so hard during classes like English or math or, well, any of them, because it is too much effort to care. I really don’t see the point. We are going through a pandemic, people dying everywhere, the world falling apart, yet I am here in front of my computer learning about the effect of punctuation or how to find out how much one lolly costs when I bought 7 lollies for £1.70. Like I don’t care for god sake. The shop will bloody tell me that.

Confusion

Sometimes I look at my screen like I just saw my teacher transform into a cat. Maybe that is because I don’t go to Hogwarts but I mean I just get so confused. In class people would ask questions and they would explain it slower but at home they just decide to not explain anything and I am here like, ‘I lost you at good morning’. But it is when they try to explain what we are doing in the day and in the future and then they go onto what they had for breakfast and how her cat has corona or something. And I just look at her like what does that word mean. It happened to me in Spanish the other day. The teacher typed out what we should for the day, in English by the way, and I swear I had a stroke while reading it or something because I had no clue what to do. No joke, I nearly gave up. I just, give up with school in general, to be honest. LOL

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed and related to this. If you did, don’t for get to like, subscribe and donate some money so that I can keep all of my content free for everyone. Every little helps I guess. But hang in there because it will end eventually, I hope, and you can go outside and show the world the bad bitch you are PERIODT.

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We Need To Normalise This

Right so this one is arriving a tad late because there are a list of things that need normalised. Obviously I am not going to write a whole book about every single thing because, well, I can’t be arsed. But yeah I am just gonna do some that all of us will probably relate to. I would also like to add, if you are a trump supporter, racist, heterosexist, transphobic, or anything within those non-accepting beliefs, you probably wont like this.


Stop Saying Homophobic

So I saw this on tiktok the other day and I thought that I just had to say it to spread the word. Now instead of saying homophobic, you should say heterosexist (heterosexism) and this is because there was study done and they came to the conclusion that homophobic doesn’t represent what it actually means. Because like heterosexist people aren’t scared of the LGBTQIA+ community, they are just messed up people. It was also like that with term ‘racism’ as well because it used to be ‘negrophobia’. The word phobia would make you think that they are scared which doesn’t fully present what it is so the words for these have been made in a way that shows it is the hate of a certain community instead of a fear. So yeah please share this to your friends so that they can all hear about this because all communities need to support each other and spreading a word that suits better is the least we can do.

Not Having Babies

As a girl, the stigma around growing up, getting married and having kids has been carved into our head from day one. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that nobody should have children, if you want kids then that is great and I wish you all the best. But what I think should be normalised is not being pressured into having one. Recently I have been hearing more and more people my age saying that they don’t think they really want to have kids in the future. They want to focus on themselves and their careers and to have freedom. And I think that is so brave of them to say that because other generations kind of just expect you to have kids and to ‘give them grand kids’ but the thing we have to remember is that this is your life. You weren’t put on this planet to repopulate the earth. I mean we kind of don’t need a higher population. Others think it sounds so selfish too, that you want to focus on yourself because you want to travel the world instead of Tesco for a bloody nappy (a diaper if you are American). I think that having kids is a complicated thing and if you aren’t sure you want to do it then don’t. Every single person has a different path in life and it is important to take your own, not the one society set out for you. Nobody should be forced into stopping their passions to make a human life, raise them, teach them everything. That might just not be what they want and people need to start respecting that.

Not Going To University

For a lot of people I would say that this is already accepted within their family but also, for many, they feel like they need to. In my house my parents just want me to do what I want, but I do still get pressure from others and society. Because I do well in school everyone says it would be a waste not to use ‘those brains’ in a university course. To be honest though, I don’t think I really want to go. I don’t want to be waist high in debt with a piece of paper that I probably wont need for my life. I mean if going to uni is what you need to get the job you want then do it because it will be worth it but if you do it without really needing to or just because you feel you have to, then don’t go. I don’t think school really represents your smartness, I mean if anything it represents your ability to read for hours in a day, have no social life, memorize everything and then, for most, forget it all and repeat. That is how I see it at least. I think they shouldn’t pressure others to join something that they don’t want to do because you would be ‘representing your high school’ or ‘making your family proud’. I mean like damn, I am sorry I don’t want to live in debt for my whole life. My parents didn’t even have to pay for their uni and that is unfair to be honest, but that’s a whole other topic.

Boy’s Mental Health

This topic has been talked about a lot lately but it still needs to be addressed because it is still an issue and needs to be understood. I am not a guy so I am just going to say, from my knowledge, why it is harder for guys to open up. I think it is because they grew up to ‘be a man’ and that ‘men don’t cry’. Even if that wasn’t said at home it was probably still an expectation in school because all the ‘popular’ kids are all ‘manly’ and strong and don’t care what anyone else thinks. I feel like a group of guy friends can be really fake at times and they may start thinking that if they actually open up and become vulnerable, then they will be banished, I guess you could say, or just looked down upon. Suicides are usually committed by males and I find that so sad because, as a woman, it is easier to talk to my friends about serious stuff because they are friendly, kind and we all understand each other. But for men, what I can see, can’t really have that open conversation with their dad or friends. But I want everyone reading this to start talking to your guy friend and genuinely talk to them. Don’t just have a conversation about the weather, but a genuine ‘how are you?’ and just be with them. Just listen and don’t try to fix anything for them. Just show that you are there for them and you accept them. Oh and yeah, we should also start complementing them more or say nice stuff to them. Not in a creepy, cat-calling way but as in, in your workplace or school, just say I like your hair cut or your glasses or something because it is never really common for guys to get compliments even though they deserve them. Men are no different to others mentally. They will have problems, worries, disorders and we all need to understand this and become more aware that this is something we need to deal with.

Making Last Minute Plans

OK so obviously this is best if you have your own car but ummm, anyways. As someone who can barely plan her shower times, I find it so boring and stressful to organise something with my friends. Like it do be stressful though and we are all so indecisive. What we need to normalise though is just being like, ‘hmm I want to go for spins’ at like 2 in the morning and then you and your friend just vibe. Too be honest though, last minute plans like these do be hitting different though. Like how the hell am I supposed to know what I want to do in a couple of days. Seriously, just let me call you at 3 pm being like ‘I’m at your front door. Get your ass up and into my car, we are going to Starbucks’ or something like that. Damn that really made me sound like a basic white bitch, cha anyways. But it really just feels different because sometimes you are in a certain mood and make plans but then later you are like ‘shit, I donny wanna do that’. But if you make last minute plans then you are in the mood and if feels so special and you feel so free I suppose. Normalise it.

Cancelling Plans

Damn, that was a quick change in emotions. This totally contradicts what I just said but look. Some days you wake up and your like ‘why the hell did I suggest to do this’ and you just aren’t in the mood. You are just tired and can’t be arsed to move outta bed. Sometimes those days come when you least expect it. But if you socially awkward or just don’t want to sound rude then you have to go out even though you really can’t be bothered. And then you have the ‘low battery’ feeling where you just feel so done in a split second. You know when you literally can’t be bothered to do anything, your socially battery has run out and you still gotta act like you having fun. What I want are for people not to be offended when I say ‘I can’t be bothered today but we can move it to another day’. Not only does it sound rude to say that but I have a twin and we have the same friends so then if one of us wants to go but the other doesn’t then what the hell we gonna do then. I mean it is a sticky situation. But yeah, NORMALISE IT! It ain’t you, it’s me boo.

PJ Days

Right so this kind of ties in with days when you just have no fucks to give. Whenever people are like ‘I shoved a whole bag of jellybeans up my ass‘ …. wait I mean ‘ I spent the whole day in my pajamas’, mums everywhere are quaking. They are like ‘oh ma god I failed my child’. OK miss drama, I just want to vibe with a cuppa tea and watch my favourite TV show, what about it. I just know that when my kid has a PJ day, Imma go up to their room like ‘as you should’, make them popcorn, and walk away. You know. Like, you ain’t lazy for having a you day. If anything I respect that. Comfort goes first am I right because normal clothes are overrated sometimes and I can’t put up with the stress of matching my clothes. I give up. Literally. PJ days are so memorable. Everything seems so much more special. Like at lunch you sit down with a sandwich or whatever like ‘ooh I’m so cosy. So… rebellious’. And also, a PJ LIFE is also acceptable. You ain’t gotta impress nobody. Just make sure you keep changing them ya nasty.

Failing Classes

Right, lets hope my mum doesn’t see this but, is it really that bad to fail a class. I mean if I am failing all of my exams the entire year then yes, maybe you should worry and get me help. But like, if I get an F one time then… it is what it is, you know. Obviously I don’t really like that subject anyways so why make a big deal of it. Like my future boss wont be like ‘you are the PERFECT person for this jo… wait, you got an F in your year 3 biology leaf topic test. Leave my office immediately’. Like I think the fuck not. Besides, if they do do that then I’ll just become my own boss. Suck on that. It puts a lot of pressure on everyone to work hard and learn a certain way but, obviously, not everyone works this way so don’t beat the child up for a corrupt schooling system. Thank you for listening to my Ted Talk. But seriously though, we need to stop being shamed for failing a few exams because obviously you just need to spend more time on this section or change your teaching methods. Not everyone can be arsed to memorize the structure of a bloody leaf or how to work out the angle of a triangle. And by the way this DEFINITELY is not because I just did a math exam and I am pretty sure I got everything wrong. It is just facts.

Watching Stuff That You Are A Bit Old For

I am sorry but peppa pig and the barbie movies do be hitting different. I mean I have never sat down and turned it on but like if it’s on I will be invested. One time I was at this persons house, not by choice, and I was so bored and they had an annoying child with an annoying voice and I was about to go insane. But then Peppa Pig came on. I never thought I would be so happy to see some mucky puddles. But yeah it is kind of nostalgic to be honest. All the shows you grew up with. A more simple time where your only problem was the person who beat you on the monkey bars in primary school. Oh my, that reminds me of another time when my cousin heard me and my sister complaining about life and then he was like ‘oh my I can relate. There is this boy in my class who keeps saying my name wrong and it is SOOOOOO annoying’. We just looked at him like, you have no fucking clue what is coming. Good luck kid. You are gonna need it. The other shows I loved to watch were like Charlie and Lola. When the biggest question in life was ‘is charlie a boy or a girl’. Of course that was also when we were children who had no concept of reality. Now there really is no way to know. But those were good times. Now I have to dodge a flying chair across the room and use my ruler to measure the total number of atoms in the world. Like they shit they make us learn is unbelievable. My past child self would be laughing at me. I could just imagine me talking to my past self like ‘this is gonna be you bitch’ show her my face, all the work I am given and all the stress and then just disappear. OK that sounds more demonic than I meant it to be but like I would be traumatised to tell you the truth.

‘Talking Back’ To Your Teacher Or Parent

The reason that I put the quote marks in the title is because it is called ‘talking back’ but what it really is is just stating our mind. Like it is so annoying when you want to say your point but you can’t because you need to ‘respect your elders’. Like I am sorry that you are literally ancient. Older people aren’t even the best at controlling others, I mean look at Donald Trump. Literally on his death bed but made america worse again. What I mean is that adults kind of need to lighten up a bit, just because you have nothing to back up your point doesn’t mean that we are disrespectful to you. Even in general just lighten up. It was so funny this one time when my dad came into the living room and was talking about how his friend did something, and it was a completely normal thing, and I was like ‘wow, great story dad’. If only you could see his face. It was as if I just said that northern Ireland was a part of the UK. Obviously it is but he is sensitive about the topic. I really don’t care but it is just a wee joke. Back to the story. And he was so angry and was like you are so rude. How dare you. And he proper walks out and I’m like, damn soz lol. Me and my sister where literally pissing ourselves it was so funny. But that is just an example that people think teens are always trying to be rude. No. I just have some good points that need heard. Some adults have no back bones like, they just can’t handle someone saying the last word. Like sorry I just wanted to say that I have a valid excuse for what I did/didn’t do. Teens actually do know a lot. Our opinions are solid and I mean why wouldn’t they. We grew up with the ability to find anything out by the click of a button. All I am asking is for adults to listen to us for a second and to not be so sensitive all the time.

Thank you so much for reading this and I hope you agree. Also I want to add that this was not meant to attack anyone. It is only for the LOLs, unless you are a trump supporter. Then it was completely targeted at you and you need to change your views. But yeah, these aren’t all that need to be normalised obviously but I mean one step at a time I suppose. Hope you subscribe, donate some change to support my blog and read more of my posts. See you later, be kind, be confident, be you PERIODT.


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10 Facts that Gen Z’s Are The Best Generation

To be honest, this topic needs no explanation but I need to educate some of you oldies.

10. With Great Mental Health Problems Comes A Great Sense Of Humor

OK, so this isn’t ranking them in order but just a wee countdown to make it more dramatic. Anyways, as everyone knows, pretty much all of our generation are mental ill. And as you will know, we crack a lot of jokes as a ~coping mechanism~. Also we do know this isn’t helpful but that is the only thing we can do with all of the actual idiots that are the other generation. I mean the scale of funniness is equal to the scale of insanity to be honest. I guess it is also a way to check up on people. I genuinely think ‘she/he is really funny today lol. I wonder whats wrong?’ Like I have a wee mental health problem and I would say I am kind of funny sometimes, that makes me sound so stuck up, but there will be some crazy bitches who don’t stop with you jokes and you just know they going through some shit. But yeah to conclude, we may be ill but we add a little ~spice~ to it.

Maybe If We Wait A Little Longer, A Fuck Will Fall In My Hand And I Can Give It To You

Nah, when I tell you we don’t give a shit, I mean it. OK yes for some people and specific areas like body confidence we, me especially, will be weak as fuck and care about it so much. But when it comes to serious stuff like dying, responsibilities or school, bitch you better believe we ain’t gonna give a fuck. I mean don’t try the whole ‘would you jump of a bridge if you friend did’ bull shit because we would jump with them, holding hands, getting a photo. Like that stuff doesn’t phase us boo. And if someone is crying about life and being mentally ill we just be here like ‘it is what it is’ and ‘it do be like that’ I mean damn. We are not a lot of help sometimes.

We Can Make Anything Into A Joke. Global Pandemic? No Problem

Right, so I suppose this links in with the humor thing but this is like for everyone. Like it is as if we merged the carelessness with humor because we literally could not care less. We just accept it because nobody ever gives us control for our futures so we do what we do best. Make fun of it. Like at some points I look at stuff and literally piss myself and then I’m like :/ should I be laughing at that. I mean I could forget there is serious shit in the world because I only see it as a joke. I guess you could say we look at the good in things… or our humor is broken.

Want A Case Solved? We Got You

Don’t even bother with the bloody FBI. Just give us some time, a computer, good WiFi, and low quality YouTube video about the case. I mean we do be out here solving shit. Unsolved cases that literal professionals can’t solve, yet a person on their ass all day is just like ‘oh the man is here. Here is his whole life story and credit card number’. You guys underestimate our power.

We Give Great Advice, Just Don’t Expect Us To Use It

Although we can give shitty advice to people, like ‘it do be like that sometimes’, you better know that we will become a therapist within seconds. It is literally so weird though because we are so mentally ill but yet we can give top notch advice to others, but then when it comes to helping ourselves we just give up. I mean honestly if you can’t afford a therapist just go to a teen and be like ‘hey, i feel crap’, trust me you will feel better after. I mean literally random strangers on the internet are so bloody supportive. I mean you will become besties with sunshinesparkle360 in no time.

Equality Just Hit Another Level

So apart from a select group of dumb-asses, I would say that our generation is so far the most welcoming generation. Of course, correct me if I am wrong because I am lucky to have never been subject to any discrimination, just scary men. But like we be out here taking rubber bullets and tear gas for black lives. And I am so proud of that. Like, my generation really be out there doing this. I really hope everyone feels this way in that we are happy when people show who they really are, may that be transgender, gay, bi, gender fluid, whatever. I sure know that I am happy to see it, but yeah I am proud to be a part of a more equal generation, at least from my perspective. Also, if anyone reading this is racist, homophobic, ablest, anything in that category, please go away. Go and seek some help because you need it bro. Open your eyes and leave this page. Thanks

The Government Ain’t Got Nothing On Us

OK, so in a British perspective this is talking about how we literally bullied the government into changing our predicted grades. Like hands down we were like ‘give us the grades bitch’ and they did. I mean I ain’t trying to brag or nothing but like that is pretty cool. And then also back to the BLM protests, they were out there standing up for what they knew was right while the armed police came out. I mean they had nothing on them and kept their peace even while they were being treated like animals. Our generation is tough as shit and we wont take no for an answer.

We Lazy As Hell But Just Wait ‘Till You Get On Our Nerves

I think a lot of people know already that our generation can be kind of unbothered to do the crap we don’t want to do. I mean I can’t be bothered to read or get out of bed to do work sometimes. But if I go on TikTok and find someone talking out their ass I will be sending full on essays. Giving them very much English essay vibes. And then I will read every shit point they have to say. And then I be spitting facts everywhere, proper getting up articles and facts while they shrivel into the pile of shit they are. Try me bitch, I dare you.

We Are Going To Save This Planet Bitch

Yeesssss. So I always hear so many people saying how we don’t care about the environment. I have two words for you. Greta Thunberg. Yup. That environment bitch, I mean what an influential queen. I try so hard with anything I can to protect the environment. Which can be hard regarding my financial situation. But I try, and I know we are gonna do great things in the future

We Had An Actual Childhood And Experienced All The Classics

Last but not least, we are the last generation to have a proper childhood. This means we weren’t corrupted by all the technology or all the new things. We had imagination bitch, and that shit is priceless. Everyday I was out making potions, being a mermaid, collecting snails. Bitch I was a working woman. And I can understand all the things on Instagram where they are like ‘only 2000 babies will remember these’. Bitch, them bee bots where the BEST. The old insect carpet, top notch. The wee rods for learning your time tables, love them. I mean my childhood was so good. And now kids are on their Ipads, zooming around on Segways. And they don’t even know the classic movies. One time our school played the iconic high school musical music and the wee first years had no clue what they were listening to. Troy Bolton was quaking. I mean I am glad I grew up a cultured child without technology. I was excited about every bloody rock and now the only nature they see are the BLOODY BABY SHARKS.

Anyways, thank you so much for reading and I hope you now agree that Gen Zs are the best generation. I hope you follow my blog so you can read more of my blog posts that will be posted very soon Thank you very much, and say this with me, ‘I’m a bad bitch, you can’t kill me’!!!! PERIODT.

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The Best Background Netflix Series

These rankings are definitely gonna start a fight but I mean this is my opinion so… go away. Also if you didn’t understand the title… go to school… I mean, it just means short episodes that you don’t need to concentrate on. Warning, you will get attached to these and the characters leading to a moment of emptiness in your life where you don’t know how to act. But don’t worry, you will find another series just as good. I am also going to make this fair by not adding in ‘friends’. It will always be the first place in my heart but like we gotta switch it up a wee bit ya know. So to build ✨tension✨lets start with number 10 :0

10. The Big Bang Theory

We are straight in with a classic. Can I just mention that you don’t have to be really smart or know anything about physics and stuff to watch this. In fact it actually makes it a lot better. It always seems like a comic book person kind of genre but really it’s just funny and good to watch when you can’t be bothered to watch long episodes or think at all for that matter.

9. Full house

You may be more familiar with the newer series of this called fuller house but I’m saying this one because, for me, the old iconic series are always better. They are so funny, different and kind of comforting for some reason. Yes the camera quality is similar to a Samsungs but we move, it’s fine. However, I do love the fuller house but yeah this better to be honest. Very heartwarming and you feel like a part of the family. Definitely broke my heart when it ended.

8. Good Girls

Ok, I have to admit, these episodes are like 40 minutes long but it is still one where you don’t need to concentrate. The actresses and actors are all literally hilarious and I love it so much. If anything, the long episodes are better because you would end up watching another anyways if they were shorter because they are too good. Like defo a solid plotline and I guess you have to concentrate a tiny bit but I mean it’s a solid plotline and never gets boring.

7. Brooklyn 99

Right so, so far I am literally contemplating the order of all of these but it literally doesn’t matter. They are all great. Anyways, you have definitely heard of this show unless you are a literally 50-year-old person with a 9 to 5 job and kids. But just know, after a long exhausting day, the kids are asleep, your old back is aching, you will be loving this show. Full of laughs. Lots of cool stuff, real-life stuff as well, but made numerous. 10 out of 10 do recommend. Also, I want to add that 50 years old isn’t old, like it was just the first number that came to my head so yeah 🙂

6. Santa Clarita Diet

This one can be quite hit or miss because my parents didn’t adore it, but bitch you better know I loved it. It is just so ridiculous but like they actually make it work. It has pretty big names too, like Drew Barrymore. Don’t even get me started with her but I literally love her so is such a great actress and seems like a genuinely lovely person. So yeah, by the off chance she will ever see this, hello…Anyways, but no it is definitely different but it is hilarious despite that. A must watch

5. Keeping Up With The Kardashians

Bitch I could write a whole book about the first season alone. Personally I have only seen the first four because that’s the only ones on Netflix (which is defo a problem) but THE AMOUNT OF DRAMA LITERALLY GIVES ME LIFE, like I literally thought my family had fights. I was wrong ahahaha literally Kim could drop-kick her mum off the roof and they would forgive each other. Of course they don’t instantly forgive the other person but eventually. My dad says they are ridiculous and it’s so bad… bitch you watch the bloody countdown so I think your opinion is invalid. It actually made me respect them more because you can see that they really do work for it and their lives are stressful. I mean I couldn’t be putting up with it.

4. Atypical

Right this one really does get you in the feels. I kind of didn’t really know whether to put it in the 
‘background series’ category because it is actually a serious, eye-opening topic. Like it talks about real stuff and like mental health and autism and it gives you a greater understanding of how people think. But it is still one that is fun to watch and you don’t get bored. The episodes aren’t too long and you do get attached to the characters. So yeah this is just an overall great series and it is definitely one of my favs.

3. Friday Night Dinner

Right so if you are a true Brit you 100% will have heard of this. Literally so funny and I think that if you are an American you could still understand their accents. It is so hilarious and your like, wait, that is so relatable. And Jim, oh my god he is so cute. Like all the characters are so iconic and have their own thing. It is like you are part of the fam because you know what they are like and your just like ‘oh typical Jim ahaah’ you get me

2. The office

So I think I might start a wee fight with this. The office that I’m talking about is the US one. Hear me 
out, the UK one gives me weird vibes and I don’t know why. Both are cringy but then with the UK one I literally get panic attacks or something because it feels as though it’s real life, but it’s not, it’s all a script. The US one is so good. All the people are well known and really good actors. I actually love Jim though. Of course he is just a character but I want to grow up and marry a man like that. So men, take notes. But yeah the office has a lot of series but you get to know the characters and it’s really comforting.

1. Derry Girls

If you have not heard of this you are UNCULTURED. Literally, where have you been? It is so funny but what makes it funnier for me is that Americans literally have to use subtitles for it. Like seriously what the hell. I have rewatched it so many times and I love it so much. But then again, humours so subjective really. If you watched Derry girls you would get that. Either way though, subtitles or not, you have to watch this. I actually can’t put into words how much I love it. Please just watch it, please. Like I can’t say how funny it is and how great it is. I live in Northern Ireland and I went to see the wee mural in Derry and I was actually dying. Literally fan girl question mark. And then I drove past some of the places they filmed and I felt like I was in Hollywood or something, just a wee bit rougher ahaha. Derry girls 100% deserves first place, it literally has everything you could want. And I love all the characters, like I would have a heart attack if I saw one of them. Orla also gives me phoebe from friends vibes if you get me. I. LOVE. IT.

Anyways, thank you very much for reading this and I hope this gave you some great ideas, especially as we may be going back into lockdown. Stay safe and enjoy the shows.

thank-you-6

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