I’m not above a fight

See, I don’t really like it when people are cheeky to me. I mean you can be upfront and shout at me and I’ll be fine with that. My sisters have conditioned me to that. But if you are being passive aggressive or cheeky in front of me or behind my back, I won’t hesitate to fight.

No this isn’t coming out of the blue guys, but something I did yesterday kinda got my blood boiling if you get me. Anyways, here I was at my friend’s house for moral support because I was about to call my work and be like “hey girl so for medical and educational reasons I’m not gonna be able to work more than 8 hours a week but obviously I can work more on holidays thanks”, and here my manager does the longest sigh ever, literally I could almost smell her stinking breathe it was that loud, and I was like shit what is about to happen. Then this bitch really stops the sigh and goes “that’s not really helpful for us”

😮 Did I ask?! No I think the fuck I didn’t so why the hell did you have to say that. Would you prefer I didn’t work any hours? Do you want me to quit because I’ll be more than happy to get out of this bitch. Like I actually don’t even like work. When I tell you I was shocked, I mean I was back-from-war-tazer-in-the-back shocked. I still am at the moment tbh.

But anyways, after that, I paused because I was in denial at that stage or something and then I was just like “Ummm well… It’s for medical reasons as well” because my doctor told me to say that so she legally couldn’t fire me for it (I also wouldn’t care if she did because then id use and never have to work again, I’m not too proud to miss that opportunity bitch) and here she was acting all nice again, miss cheeky bitch tryna get on my good side again. Like I actually have to go to work with her today and if she comes up to me and starts talking shit, I will happily throw hands. I mean I’m terrified of her too, let’s not get ahead of ourselves, but she barely knows me and doesn’t know how hard I can hit. BTW this is a joke don’t be calling the police

Anyways yeah that happened and it really made me realise how much I HATE, despise, loath, work. Do I get paid minimum wages to only get a 20 min break during illegal hours?! I think the fuck not. Like I have enough money saved to get my ass out of that hoe and I only stay cause I want my parents to be proud of me lol. But you have to admit what she said was petty uncalled for. Like it was not necessary. I actually despise the working world and it sucks the little bit of life and dignity inside of me.

So what do you guys reckon I should do? Quit or just realise that this is life. Also if anyone is like a law person, is there any way I could use for doing illegal hours with only a 20 minute break. I mean that would be ideal lol. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Train wreck of thought

I haven’t posted in a while, obviously, and I ain’t gonna explain why because it’s more boring than you think. It’s not like I went on a fucking trip to the Bahamas despite the fact I hope to go there some day if corona ever goes away. But anyways, a lot has happened like me … Continue reading Train wreck of thought

Makeup and Me

First of all, to the people who are in the comments right now saying “It’s makeup and I, not makeup and me” literally take you Hermione Granger ass outside or “I” will personally make Jeff Bezos land his fucking dick rocket on you. I mean would you slate Marley and Me for the grammar issue? … Continue reading Makeup and Me

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Train wreck of thought

I haven’t posted in a while, obviously, and I ain’t gonna explain why because it’s more boring than you think. It’s not like I went on a fucking trip to the Bahamas despite the fact I hope to go there some day if corona ever goes away. But anyways, a lot has happened like me starting A levels, which I think is 12th grade in America, and my sister is also away to uni in a whole different fucking country. I mean I know you didn’t like me all that much but geez, I get the fucking hint.

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I also got a hair cut that is like shoulder length and made me want to cry on the first day but then when I styled it I liked it which I think is the ritual for any hair cut. Surely that is the same for guys too. I mean even I cry at some of the haircuts guys get. I mean that barber really did you dirty with that ski. You’re starting to look like Stewie Griffin from Family Guy. Do you know I also literally get a wee hairdresser that comes to my house. Not in the way where like I am so rich I hire a personal hairdresser, but as in it is cheaper and kinda just for the lols. That is totally unnecessary for you to know but it is what it is I guess.

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But my mum literally knows her from a friend who is the hairdressers friend and client and my mum is like “it’s a small world” and while I do use that phrase quite often, or at least when necessary, but like it really is incorrect. I mean it’s a small fucking country. Northern Ireland is barely a dot on the map, don’t quote me on that, and it doesn’t bug me but gets me thinking, something that flat earthers never do.

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I actually remember one time when Logan Paul posted a video of him talking to a flat earther and the whole click bate was that he believed the guy and I was like this is bullshit. Don’t worry, I have not been converted. The reason I mentioned it was because it is the perfect transition into telling you very frightening times in my life. Firstly, and I am ashamed to say it, I was someone who nearly bought Logang merch. DON’T WORRY! It is not contagious and I have got it sorted. It was a close call but I made it. I mean I was invested in his man’s life. I wanted to meet him so bad and thought he was such a cool dude. Like when he bought a massive pumpkin, I was on my knees worshipping him. Like it was not ok. I didn’t stick around long enough for him to like do that video in Japan and I think the only thing I have watched of his since is when his bird died LOL. I mean this guy makes everything into a joke. His family, his bird, his life, EVERYTHING. He did start some trends though I have to admit. Not good ones, but trends none the less.

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I think I can forgive myself for that because it was kind of inevitable for me as I was in my flat cap phase. All of my friends will instantly know what this means, but to catch you all up, it was bad. VERY bad. I thought I was so rebellious and edgy. I have this one photo that haunts me to this day. It is me on my holiday after I bought my first flat cap and I swear if you look closely enough, you can see me slowly turn into a disappointment. And again, just to clarify, I am out of that now. Well, the flat cap part, maybe not the disappointment part. I think I need to show this to my therapist

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Anyways, thank you for reading my rant and it was very random so sorry for dragging you down my train wreck of thoughts, but you got to the end now and you can have a rational thought again. As a recap, never EVER fall vulnerable to flat caps. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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I’m not above a fight

See, I don’t really like it when people are cheeky to me. I mean you can be upfront and shout at me and I’ll be fine with that. My sisters have conditioned me to that. But if you are being passive aggressive or cheeky in front of me or behind my back, I won’t hesitate … Continue reading I’m not above a fight

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Sleepover Games Are Sh!t | Let’s Discuss It

Now, I can’t really talk for the guys on this topic because, being a girl, I have never been to a guys sleepover and no matter how old I am, my mother will never ever let me go to one. So if this is different for guys, if you even play sleepover games, do please comment below. I also want you to know that I am not talking about games as in COD or whatever the fuck it is you play now. I’m talking about the generic games like “would you rather” or “truth or dare”. NEVER pillow fights or some shit that movies make you think we do. It is not stylish at all. Not for me anyways. I sit in my baggiest clothes with my hair in a mess and a half dried facemask on that looks like I’ve got a weird skin infection. Not the nicest image is it lads?

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My thing with sleepover games is that they literally never end up the way you want them to. Like the person who is always like “omg lets play a game” obviously has something to say. It might just be they know something we havent told them or they want to get our attention. Like they’d be like

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Person 1 – “ok, let’s play truth or dare! Sarah, truth or dare”
Sarah – “mmm, dare”
P 1 – are you sure? I think I heard that you have to do a truth and then…
Sarah – nope, I’m picking a dare
P 1 – ok fine then. I DARE you to tell me why the fuck you were sleeping with my boyfriend!

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This isn’t talking from experience but like I know that it is like this for others. And even if it isn’t being played to attack someone, nobody ever has any fucking idea what to ask. Like we really only have one question and it either ends in 10 minute breaks between people asking the “would you rather” or you would be searching some up on google only to find that basically nobody on the internet knows any either. Sure you can find a few, but they are either so fucking bad that I would rather watch Riverdale, or so inappropriate that I could imagine a literally creepy old man writing them. Like I am comfortable around my friends but what the actual fuck is that.

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I can never think of questions and even when I do, depending on the game, I can’t even play it fairly because my twin is always in my friend group. So if I were to play 2 truths and a lie, I would only be able to play on certain ones and even then one of us might give it away or call me out for not telling the whole thing perfectly. It do be a problem and I remember in 1st year when we would do all the ice breaker shit and we did the 2 truths and a lie and when either of us was saying ours, the other would feel like such a main character. Just try to imagine a 13 year old smiling way to much trying to see if anyone notices that she knows the answer and can’t even play on this round. I felt so elite and would stare out the window as though it was such a struggle to exist under these rules where I couldn’t even participate in getting to know everyone. It’s hilarious to think back on but now, if we ever do it, it is annoying as fuck and if the teacher is like “oh, make sure you don’t give it away lol” I will quite literally leave the school.

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And I don’t know if this is just my friend group but like it always ends in us all having a really heart felt moment where we are all just letting out our deepest darkest secrets. It basically goes like this

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P1 – Never have I ever… peed in the woods
*everyone laughs*
P2 – OH MY DAYS you are sooooo silly
P3 – I don’t even want to answer that LOL

*1 hour later*

P2 – Never have I ever felt happiness since the day I saw my cat get run over
*drowning in tears*
P1 – I get you. We are here for you
P3 – Does it count if it was my nan instead of a cat?

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I do like that though because you get to know everyone better and it feels natural. Again having a twin makes that more awkward especially if you are talking about relationships because you don’t want to hear about their life outside of your world. Like it doesn’t sit right and it never will. Or like if you are talking about how you found something difficult and you tell a story, the other might be like “you are so dramatic that wasn’t even that bad” and they go on to say what happened despite the fact you both see things differently. And then afterwards it’s kind of like when you say bye to someone but then your car is in the same direction so it’s really awkward. I mean we literally did just expose ourselves and now I just have to see her every time I open my doors and it is awkward for a bit.

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Anyway, that is kinda what I had to say. If you have anything else that you would like to comment or add to this post, please do leave a comment because I love hearing from you guys. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Makeup and Me

First of all, to the people who are in the comments right now saying “It’s makeup and I, not makeup and me” literally take you Hermione Granger ass outside or “I” will personally make Jeff Bezos land his fucking dick rocket on you. I mean would you slate Marley and Me for the grammar issue? I hope the fuck not so just back off Karen. But yeah, lets talk about how I attempt makeup all the time and it never looks good. Like whoever said that practise makes perfect, was an ignorant bitch.

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So why am I bringing up this topic? It’s relevant but also out of the blue so like what is the problem? Well, basically I was getting ready for a party and I was putting on some makeup, as one does. And then for some reason I had the bright idea that I might use eyeliner for the 2nd time in my life. Now saying it is the 2nd time makes it a bit anticlimactic, but the first time was a shit show and it was ages afterwards so like I couldn’t have learned from my mistakes. But yeah, as you can tell, the eyeliner didn’t go well and for some reason I have good eyeliner and this hoe wasn’t coming of for nobody so while I managed to improve it, I was still looking like a raccoon. Not ideal as you could imagine. But like out of the two times I felt the motivation to give it a go, they were both when I was running out of time and going somewhere I want to look good. Like it was not ok. I don’t know why when I am rushing I just think that a bit of adventure would be fun. This is coming from the person who needs a fucking fan group to get enough motivation to brush my teeth. Like make it make sense.

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Moving on… I also have to say that I don’t do makeup for just me. No, I don’t do it for the guys. I’m not that kinda bitch. I do it for everyone. Out of the kindness of my heart. Because I know for a fact that if you caught me without my eyebrows or mascara or concealer, it would be like you were in the conjuring or some shit. Like I look scary. I am pale as fuck, I have under eyes as dark as night and my eyebrows are just out of the question. It is not a pretty sight, trust me. I remember when I was younger and woke up at night and had a sore stomache so I would go tell my mum and when I opened the door my mum would jump out of her skin. I look like a fucking ghost and I have to live with that. Sure they say I just snuck up on them, but I know how I look. A creepy child in her pjs, half asleep, dark eyes, puffy hair and a teddy in my hand while I’m slightly hunched over cause of my sore stomache and then I have the high ass voice. I would have karate chopped my ass if I was my mum.

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I remember I was quite late to the game of makeup. I was a tomboy for WAYYYY too long and it really was something else. But that meant I thought I was “not like the other girls”. But when I grew up, I inevitably became insecure and was like “shit”. So I don’t know much about makeup except that I have to use the lightest shade and that unless the makeup proper burns your skin, out of date makeup is fine. I really can’t be arsed to learn anything about it though because I am a perfectionist, and I have the cheapest makeup, so when mine wouldn’t turn out like the one in the video, I would lock myself in my room for a week. Like I don’t have the patience for that. And also the videos are boring as fuck. Especially when you realise most of them are either pedos or bad people *cough* James Charles *cough* Jeffrey Star *cough*. I respect the talent that makeup artists have, but I really can’t be bothered watching your videos. But hey, I keep you in a business because I pay you to do my makeup. Not that I ever have got my makeup done before but I’m sure I will in the future.

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I do feel fancy as fuck though whenever I watch like a 5 second clip on tiktok of how she uses a concealer brush instead of a beauty blender because I look like I know what I am doing, and those moments are fun, but also short lived because I don’t think I do it right or just takes too long. I only just started like plucking and dying my eyebrows and shit and too be honest, I have been complimented about them, but I feel like such a pro even if I just brush them up. It isn’t that big of a deal dammnnnnn.

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Anyway, I kinda want to be finished on this post now because I am just rambling at this point, so I guess I’ll see you when I see you. I’ll try to do it everyday but you know how it is. Just can’t be arsed or have something else to do. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Back To School. Could I be bothered?

The answer is no, but it is also a bit more complicated than that. Do I like the first day of school where everything is new, you get the new time tables, new classes, new teachers? Yes, you could say that. But in general, I really could not be arsed to go back. Lately when I talk to my friends, they are all like “yeah I think I am ready to go back to school though and I’m ready to go back to normal school life and work”. And I’m just here like “yeah totally” but in reality I just don’t want to go back. Especially as we’ll have to do those shitty tests they make you do that really make no fucking sense. Like how do they test your smartness based of whether or not you know how many holes there will be in a folded piece of paper. Like it really is a load of shite. If I was a teacher and saw that someone couldn’t mentally fold a page into a swan or some shit, I wouldn’t be thinking he was dumb, I would think he has more important things to understand, and surprisingly origami isn’t one of them.

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I don’t know if my friends are a bunch of NERDS (jokes I love them) but they are prepared and talking about how they want to go back because we have been off so long and I just join in because I don’t want to be that one bitch that goes “I actually couldn’t give a shit if I were to never go back to school. Like I’m done with this hoe and I don’t want to start” because they would disown me. I think I’ll just go because I have nothing else to do and I don’t want to end up living at my parents house for the rest of my life and become the creepy auntie who is always way too drunk and getting way too close for comfort. And I always try to come up with these money making plans and they never turn out the way I want. I do keep going with them too be honest. I mean this blog was one of the attempts, but it is what it is and maybe some day I can drop out of school and do my own thing.

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I’m going into lower 6th, which is the second last year of high school, so it is the first voluntary year of school. So technically I don’t have to be there. I don’t really know what that is gonna do for my motivation because it could kinda be one of those situations where you are excited to do something but then when someone tells you to do it, you turn into a stubborn bitch and don’t want to do it anymore. Or maybe I just won’t try because there is no pressure of me having to go there. The one perk though is that we get a separate we area in the school that only the 6th years can go into because we are obviously the elite. And now we can be the intimidating ones that tower over all the first years and are best mates with all the teachers. Well, maybe not that last point because I am still socially awkward.

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We also only have to do 3 or 4 classes now which is good but I feel like it will still be just as much work and that makes me want to die. I picked 4 classes (chem, geo, business studies and Spanish) but I’m planning to drop one in the first month or so. It’s a good plan like so that if I find I don’t like one, most likely chemistry, I can drop it and not have to worry about it. But at the moment I can’t be arsed doing any and I’m scared I’m gonna hate them all or maybe drop the wrong one. It’s a possibility. And the first timetable I have won’t have as many study breaks and that might freak me out, but it will be fine right. It’s also gonna be so scary to tell a teacher that I want to leave their class. Like I don’t need to say it to them, but leaving implies I don’t like what they have devoted their life to. Likes like the biggest insult of all time. I am also shitting myself for the smaller classes. My Spanish class will defo be small and that is so scary because I will have to answer more and I can’t just hide in the back. What if everyone there is fucking annoying and I just have to vibe there for the next 2 years. What if we are the boring class that they hate to teach? What if I turn out to be shite at the subject?

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Maybe living in my parents house forever isn’t all that bad. Maybe I can be the fun drunk aunt who always buys the alcohol, takes you shopping, gives the best advice and shouts at your parents for doing anything other than worship us. Sounds fun like. Maybe if this blog blows up I could also just leave school but I won’t put that pressure on you guys lol. Anyways, I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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I Hate Genes

To any foetus child out there who is like what the fuck are genes, basically they are the characteristics that we get from our parents and they make up who we are and what we look like. For example, I inherited my dad’s white ass Irish skin which burns like a bitch whenever a bloody … Continue reading I Hate Genes

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Do You Know What’s Weird? Eyes

Because I am SUCH an expert in this field, I am going to talk about all aspects. That directly translates to, I think about this shit a lot and think it would be weird to have “eyebrows, eyelashes, eyes and under eyes” in the title. So I guess we’ll get into it, but first I’m gonna switch it up by giving you my inspiration for this post which is so motivational that Emma Watson is quaking. So here it is. I always sit down really low in my chair because I am always exhausted and too fucking lazy to sit up straight, so therefore I have a shocking posture, but that is besides the point. And being the self-critical bitch that I am, I tend to look in the mirror in front of me quite often, despite the fact I have realised I can only see my eyes and everything above it. So, therefore I see my under eyes are dark as shit, and eyebrows confuse me and also help me show my confusion at the same time which is weird and more confusing. Thank you for listening to my TED talk and let’s get into it.

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Let’s start from the bottom to the top. Under eyes. First of all, why the hell are all these names so basic. I mean like we have fucking wenis and tongue and bloody shin but we can’t make a name for the things around our eye. Like we literally named one after a fucking animal (calf), or at least that’s what I like to think it’s named after. If we could change the name of these, I would call under eyes vision pits. Why? Well, I got the vision from the function of the eye, duh. And I got pits from arm pits and stuff like that. Fight me about it, I dare you. But yeah, what I find weird about vision pits is that they change colour. Where the fuck is the need? Like in all honesty, why do we need that to happen. Doesn’t all our functions serve a purpose or something? How come, after million years of evolution, we kept this. And it doesn’t even work well. It shows when we are tired, but also after we had a massive nap. I mean I don’t think they have gone away since I was born and they literally get worse everyday. Is it a flaw in how people work because the only reason I could think is that other people can tell if you are tired or sick or some shit, but nowadays it kinda just goes like “oh my days, you look really tired, you should go to bed right now!” and I’d be like “no fucking joke Karen. I haven’t slept in days and it is literally 2PM, I am still in your fucking class and you just set me 2 hours of homework. So what the hell do you want me to do about it?! Do you not think I already fucking know this information?”

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So now to move onto the next thing, eyelashes. Or as I like to call them, snake shields. Now, they aren’t literally what the name will suggest because, well obviously. But I named it that because, while I understand they are supposed to protect stuff from getting into our eyes, why do they always seem to get in my eye themselves. Like for real you had one job. But we can’t really blame them, can we. What are 20 strands of short hair supposed to do. Maybe it will stop a crumb or two if I were to be suddenly hit with a packet of digestives coming from directly above and below me, but if I were to get a bloody shower, I can promise you that shampoo would be getting in there. It’s so dumb. It might do more than I realise, like stops the tears from tripping ever second. It’s as if you made a sausage dog your guard. Yeah they may look nice but when they need to be used, they don’t do shit. Make it make sense. And it hurts like a bitch when it gets in your eye which is literally every second of the day. But then you blink a few times and it goes away. What are they? A fucking magician? A hoover? Where the hell do they go? There just like everyone in my school. You think they are nice but they stab you in the back like the snakes they are. But I have one last thing to say about eye lashes before I move on. Why did they become something lucky. I mean, I would bet some creep just made it up on the spot when he was watching someone sleep or something and they were like
“*wakes up* what the fuck are you doing, Chris!”
“*panic* ummm… you have an eyelash on your cheek”
“so? What should I give a fuck when you are watching me sleep!”
“b b because it.. it.. it’s LUCKY! Yup, it’s really lucky. *picks it up with his finger* Now make a wish and blow!”
Like it does sound like some bullshit excuse for something. Maybe not the exact scenario I just described, but it sounds dumb as hell. But will I continue to do it? (with my own eyelashes of course) Most likely.

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Eyes. Or as they are also referred as, eyeballs. You see, this is a basic name but I don’t mind it. It has some character to it. It’s just fun to say and anything else would just feel weird. Like we literally gave one of the greatest functioning organ of the body a fucking dumb name. They started off strong with the eye because it is spelt a bit quirky, but they just gave up afterwards and were just like fuck it, eyeball. I don’t really have anything to stay about the eyeball. It is just confusing because it does so much in so little time. Like it does a half ass job with having the images upside down meaning the brain has to finish the job and they do mean I have to look at your dumb ass. But I like them. They also don’t work for a lot of us meaning we have to look through fucking glass for the rest of our life, but it’s fine, it’s a look… 10 years ago. Actually, I think I have a lot of beef with eyes. Now, I am not blind, and I do only wear glasses, and eyes are still great, but like you may as well work? Like, it led to a lot of trauma with people stealing my glasses, making me see smudges and chips for the rest of the day, and having to look at people’s fingers as they ask that dumb ass question “hoW MaNy FIngErS aM i HoLdInG uP?” and then seeing (well…) the look of betrayal on their faces as I say the right number. So actually, while I don’t eyes are weird, for the most part, I think they have a lot of audacity for a bitch named eyeball. There. I said it :[

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Last, but not least, the eyebrows. Now, these ones really do confuse me because I feel like they are just a fashion statement. Like God just looked at us and was like, something is missing? So he just put hair above our eyes. Kinda like when he put nipples on men. He just thought it looked a bit… incomplete. Now that I read that bit, it sounds like a dig on people with no eyebrows, but that isn’t what I mean because you are still beautiful, but I just wanted to make a statement that I don’t understand the point of them. So, before I dig myself into a bigger hole, let’s discuss it more. I have heard they are for protecting your eyes, but I have 2 problems with that. One, is that not the eyelashes job? And secondly, why are they so far from our fucking eyes. Now, they aren’t like becoming part of the hair line or anything, but they are definitely migrating. Like, they are at the point of “Donald Trump is gonna come get you” migration. Surely they can’t do that much from up there? But I do appreciate you I suppose. But like I also feel like you expose me way to much and I don’t appreciate it. You must be part of the snake shields cause you really coming back to nip me in the butt.

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Anyways, I am happy to make it onto your list of the weirdest posts you have ever read, but was a good read? I think so, but defo leave your thoughts in the comments. I am gonna sign off quick because I don’t have much else to say like, but don’t forget to like, subscribe and check out my other posts. And of course, I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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The Biggest Difference Between Primary and Secondary School

Now, if your looking for some sort of “12% of children going into their first year of secondary school with anxiety brought on my the change of school” then you are out of luck bitch bitch there is one thing and one thing only that I will talk about in this post. And what is it you may ask? What is the biggest difference between primary and secondary school? The time.

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What I mean by this is the fact that primary school felt like a shit ton of time. I mean it literally made up the first 10 years of our life. I remember it felt like P3 lasted for a million years and the rest went a wee bit faster but still seemed to be never ending. Not in the way that it was boring as hell, which it was, but I mean it felt like it was my whole life and the difference between P1 and P7 was such a jump and thousands of years apart. Yet, in secondary school, I am going into lower 6th and I feel like I was in 1st year last year. It is so weird and although I do feel like I am this old, I think that time has gone by so quickly. But then I say that and in the moment it actually feels like a fucking long time. Getting through each year didn’t feel fast but when you look back and actually process the information, it really has just flashed past you. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad it’s all over. I would definitely never do that shit again but like it’s weird.

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And I can’t even say “time flies when your having fun” because there was not one ounce of it. And that isn’t an exaggeration. Like, if anything, I should be saying “time flies when you wake up disappointed that you actually woke up”. Like that is true. And in primary school we had the best of time eating glue, scrapping our knees, learning how to not pick our nose in front of people, but yet it felt like an eternity. Literally make it make sense.

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Maybe it is because so much changes between P1 and P7. I mean you literally do go from a literal foetus child who only is just potty trained, to a preteen whose only personality trait is being the oldest in the school. I mean I am right aren’t I. And then from 1st year to upper 6th, you are actually fully aware that you are alive and have responsibilities and the only thing that really changes is you mature, you have a wee bit more knowledge, you get increasingly more terrified of the future, and, last but not least, your mental health is close to the point of no return. All fun right?! :/

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Honestly though, I don’t mean to scare anyone that is going into high school or secondary school or whatever the hell you call it because we all go through different experiences and that’s fine. So your experience may be great, others may find it shit and that is fine because it’s normal. This is just a stage of your life that you need to get through and on the other end you can completely forget it and move on or use it as a show of your strength. And I’m not gonna tell you some bullshit motivational speech where I say “these years are the best years of your life” because that shit hurts, but also because you are the one who decides what the best years of your life are. I mean if these years are utter shite and you think “that’s the best years of my life wasted”, just think that it can only go up from here and that those years don’t define you. You had to hit rock bottom so you could push off stronger than ever and reach the heights you deserve. They don’t define you unless you want them to, so just hang in there ok. It goes by quickly, yes, but in the moments where it feels so slow, you gotta remember that it’s only a small part of the big plot of your life. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Things I Would Like To See One Day But I Haven’t Yet

I’m just gonna get right into this hoe because I don’t really know what to say as an introduction. Sorry to all my English teachers but guess what? I don’t give a fuck, so I’m gonna get into it and tell you some things that I really want to see some day and I don’t think I will have completed life without seeing. Enjoy, comment for more, follow and like bitches!

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2 Pretty Best Friends

This is not a drill guys, I have never seen two pretty best friends. Always one of them gotta be ugly. This may seem crazy but it’s true. The day that I see this, I will most likely explode and take you all with me to the grave.

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Donald Trump Going To Jail

Ok, but this one is serious guys. That ain’t no joke. When I see that orange mans fat ass going behind bars, I will sleep happy. An added bonus would be if he was completely fucked up in there and he was also locked up for everything that he did and not just tax evasion. That would bring a lot of hope to this planet I think. I swear I heard a rumour this was going to happen when he wasn’t president, but like I haven’t heard anything more and it is pissing me off to be frank. Like, my main motivation to become a police woman is to get him locked up. I will become the whole freaking court just to lock that orange up.

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The Land Around The Leaning Tower of Piza

I really don’t know if that is how you spell Piza but literally deal with it ok. You are also probably like why does this bitch think she is funny by saying she wants to see grass, but that isn’t what I mean. I just want to see the hundreds of tourists trying to get that iconic photo, so it is just a crowd of people holding their arms up like a fool, with all the local people just disappointed by the world. Like, I know they hate the creation of it and just want to enjoy their country without creating a whole fan club.

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A Female President

This one quite literally is not a joke, but like I was thinking about how Hillary Clinton was nearly the first woman president and how anti-climatic that would have been. Like yay finally, but also why did it have to be her. So we do be wanting the first woman to be actually good and show everyone what we can do, but imagine the first one is a shit show and we just there like “we do not take responsibility for this”. That’s what I am worried about to be honest lol, but hopefully soon we will get a female president, and then as a bonus, one that isn’t actually about to keel over because all of them have been so crusty lately. Obviously not Obama, but the rest are nearly turning into dust and we need someone with a good, equal mindset that doesn’t want to completely destroy the world and laugh at us because they know they are gonna be on life support next week.

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An Animal That Escaped From The Zoo

Now, I know this is gonna sound so sus if an animal goes missing from a zoo near my house, but what I mean is that I would absolutely die if one day I wake up, open my curtains, and there is just a full tiger or like a penguin scuttling around my garden. Like how funny would that be. And then your just staring at it like what the fuck is this. I feel like that is a regular day for Australians though because they have the weirdest fucking animals over there that are literally living in their house rent free. Imagine waking up and quite literally having a full ecosystem in your kitchen. I would imagine just going to someone’s house and being like “oh fuck there is a literal anaconda on your bed!” and then their like “nah, don’t worry mate, that’s just Jake. He’s a lovely fella ain’ he. He is kinda just like a back massage if you close your eyes. And he’s a great neck pillow as well, aren’t you mate *scratches the snakes head*. And what is great is that he eats all the human sized insects that live in my room and if I find it hard to sleep, he just strangles the fuck out of me until I black out. He is so great-” and they just live their lives as though this is completely normal! But no it would be so funny to have a bloody elephant or some shit in your garden. To be honest though, if it was one of those wee monkeys, I may actually steal it and make it my own because they are so freaking cute.

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Anyways, that was a bit of a weird post but it is true and it is now my bucket list. I don’t know how many I will actually encounter, but it’s fine, we move. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Social Media If They Were People pt.1

Bare with me on this one guys because I know the title makes it sound dumb as fuck, but we need to address this shit. I will literally make everything make sense to you because I know you know this but you don’t know that you know it yet, if that makes sense. Basically, you are gonna agree with me and realise that I am describing each social media platform perfectly. I came up with this content idea because I just saw that youtube came out with a new section called “shorts” and I suddenly got a flashback to 2015-2016 when the whole bloody “snapchat copying Instagram” uproar came around. That really was a simpler time. But anyways, let’s get into it because we do need to say a number of things.

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Facebook

This is like a mum. More specifically, an older mum, but like not ancient, but her kids are nearly finished highschool or something. I think this because obviously this is what all the older generations worship and it really hasn’t changed that much. It doesn’t really copy everything that all the other social platforms are doing and if they do, they are absolutely crap at it. Facebook would also be a mum because they always keep track of everywhere you are, everyone you are with and every breathe you take. It also is always listening and you never realise until they start talking about it so much and outing you on what you were discussing in private. Facebook would defo be a mum because it tells everyone absolutely everything. It shows a post that your 3rd cousin was tagged in and you discover when anyone has any type of situation. It just contains all the information in the world whether you like it or not and now everyone you know and don’t know, are aware of the fact you got your period or some shit. If you disagree with my decision of who Facebook would be, you are wrong. But you also got to give Facebook credit because they are still going strong. They are keeping up, kind of, with everything that is happening and is known all around the world. They are a comfort for most and don’t give up, even when they are exposed by everyone and the generation that use Facebook are now dying out, so like fair play I guess.

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Instagram

Regina George. Just this one person. I guess it could be any person that is a blonde bitch, thinks she is loved by everyone, but in reality everyone hates her and is bullied by her and if anyone were to say anything bad about her, they would be banished from society despite the fact they all feel the same way. Like I really don’t see any way that Instagram wouldn’t be that bitch because she has the aesthetics, she has the followers, she has everything and although she steals other people’s trends, nobody says anything about it. Like Instagram literally has reels which is so crap because it is literally tiktok videos downloaded onto Instagram because the name is so big that they need to be on it but literally who the fuck is watching reels. If anybody watches them it is because they are trying to stay off tiktok for a while so they don’t feel too guilty. But yeah, I don’t get good vibes from Instagram and if I were to see her in the hallway, I would be scared. I don’t like her very much but again, if I said that in public I would be beaten to a pulp.

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Twitter

Twitter is quite difficult to describe because there are just so many layers. But what I think, and bare with me on this one, is that twitter is that really nice person who seems to be friends with everyone but is still kind of quiet and doesn’t cause any trouble, but she knows everyone’s secrets because they all trust her. So she is kind of the one you go to for the tea and everything going on everywhere and nobody really has hate against her, she is just there and doesn’t cause drama. Like we do need to give twitter a round of applause because she hasn’t changed for no bitch. Like maybe she has cleaned up her image and matured, as we all do, but she hasn’t done any type of tiktok rip off and she is comforting. Like there is no pressure of looks or expectations and you find everything you need. I just know that twitter would be smart, funny, just perfect and always acts herself which is why everyone loves her. They are an OG if you will.

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Snapchat

I do have to say that I do like snapchat you know, but the way I am describing it is exactly what I think snapchat would be, so don’t fight me about it. Snapchat is 100% the really loud, blonde girl who can never be quiet. But like they aren’t rude or annoying, they just have a wee bit of ADHD that makes her really crazy. She is always doing new things and copies other people’s trends but still doesn’t make it a big deal. Like I only found out yesterday that it has a fake tiktok thing but we kind of move past it because it’s fine. Snapchat as a person would be hectic and up to date with everything and is the person you always find yourself running into for no reason and also has some sort of borderline personality disorder because she is always changing her personality. I also feel like, despite the fact she always seems happy and hyper, she also has a dark side where she can like hack into anything and get you anything you need. Where is Michael? Oh, well he is right here. OH MY and he is with your best friend Samantha and she didn’t tell you anything about it! Like that is defo who snapchat is. She loves to cause drama and just watch the world burn and somehow she never gets dragged into the mess.

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Anyways, that is all for today guys because I just got another shift at work, but I mean I’m getting bank so it’s fine kind of but like it’s still minimum wage and the hours I work may or may not be illegal but like it’s fine… But yeah I’ll see you again tomorrow maybe and I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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The “Magical” Transformation That Happens When You Combine Two Of The Best Brain Reprogramming Technologies

You’ve heard of NLP? It’s almost cultish. It stands for neuro-linguistic programming and it’s like someone had taken the best out of all forms of psychotherapy, threw them in a blender and created NLP. If you don’t get what I’m saying, NLP is two things. First, it is a way of thinking. It’s a framework … Continue reading The “Magical” Transformation That Happens When You Combine Two Of The Best Brain Reprogramming Technologies

How to Learn to Sing!

Have you always wanted to become a singer? Many people dream of singing, but few take the steps required to learn. Here are some quick tips that will teach you how to learn singing, on your own or with assistance: <a href=”allylav” rel=”nofollow”><img src=”https://singorama.com/wp-content/uploads/Banner-duo.gif&#8221; width=”336″ height=”280″ border=”0″ /></a> How to Learn Singing – Before You … Continue reading How to Learn to Sing!

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I Think I Know Why I’m So Stupid

Ok so look, I haven’t been posting in a bit because I’m busy and all that shit. Wow, I’m a poet and I didn’t even know it. Anyways, I reckoned I would post something today while I have the chance and I wanted to do a wee story time or something. And this will be about the multiple head injuries I had when growing up that I think may explain my oddness and mental… imperfections. So yeah, there are 3 short stories so buckle up and lets get started

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Stairway To Hell

I’ve called this story the stairway to hell not because I did one of the wee rides or adventure things where you climb high or anything and then I called it Hell for a play on words. No. Here it is. So when I was a child, I was staying at my granny’s and at this point my parents were outnumbered, or just fed up with all our shit, and couldn’t keep an eye on everyone. So me being the adventurous child I am, I was wondering around, or at least I guess I was, I mean I don’t remember anything from when I was a literal foetus. But yeah, I got to the top of the stairs and thought I was an absolute smarty pants and that I could somehow get down the steps. So that’s what I did, or at least tried to do because I ended up falling down all of the and breaking my leg. Now a leg injury isn’t a head injury but I’m guessing I hit my head a few times on the way down or maybe I hit my head before the fall and that’s when I made that dumb ass decision. I think I kind of deserved it though. I am also being quite hard on a literal foetus child because they barely recognise that their nose looks nothing like the ‘nose’ they supposedly stole from me.

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Do you know what is gross though but also kind of cute and I see myself doing in the future if it came to that. My parents kept my little cast. It was like a full leg cast but is the size of my foot now. That’s kind of a weird comparison but deal with it. Anyways, yeah they literally just showed that to me one day and I was like “that’s cool but also what the fuck surely that’s absolutely minging”. It’s also kind of weird to think that we were that small and we have grown so much since then. Like we were all once little munchkins running around, slobbering and shitting everywhere. How beautiful :/

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Head and Spoon Race

Do you like my wee play on words there! Analyse this Miss English teacher bitch! Anyways that was intense, just like when I was a toddler at a restaurant and I was running around like we usually do. Don’t worry there was a wee play area there for kids that we could run around in. But anyways, I was running to go back to the table and fell, as one does, but somehow my head landed on a fucking spoon and indented my head. Apparently it was bleeding so much that my mum had to get a waiter to drive us to the hospital while she stayed at the back to control the bleeding lol. Thinking about it now, I hope he got a good tip or a raise or something because why could my dad not drive us? Maybe he was drinking? Or like why not ring an ambulance? Poor guy just wanted to get paid but no, I just had to get a spoon stuck in my head. How pathetic is that! Literally it sounds ridiculous. Imagine I died from that!!! DEATH BY SPOON! Stop that is too funny lol. I would turn into the girl in the story your mum tells you to stop you running around anywhere.

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I actually still have a scar from it and although it is faint and you wouldn’t really recognise it unless you stared at it for long, and who the fuck would be staring at me, but like it is pretty full on. It doesn’t sound very intimidating though. Like imagine I joined a gang and they were like “you see this *points at scar*. Bullet hole, 1986, had to take the bullet out myself and stitch it up with only the homeless guys hair and a rats tooth. Nearly lost all my blood but I survived for 4 days all alone in the gutters with nothing but mice to eat and then finally somebody found me” and then I’m just here like
ME – “damn, that sounds tough. But do you see this *points at scar*”
THEM – “mmmm no?”
ME – “RIGHT well it’s there ok! stupid bitch. Spoon hole, 2007, fell on the ground and a waiter drove me to the hospital. I had to get stitches from a doctor and was home the same day. And he gave me a sticker”

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Do you know what adds to it though. I literally had to get a cast on my fucking head because I wouldn’t stop scratching the stitches off. How dumb was that! The doctor was probably sick of me and was like “I’m going to embarrass the fuck out of this kid in the future” because now I have bloody photos of me with a massive fucking cast on my head. Maybe that is why my forehead is so big now! All the bumps just ended up staying there or the cast stretched it or some shit lol.

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Head and Seek

I can actually remember this one because it was in p6 ( which is around 9-10 years old for all the Americans out there). I remember it all and it really is hilarious. So I was playing hide and seek with a few of my friends, as you do, and it was a pretty intense match I have to admit. So I was going to run into the bathroom as a sneaky wee trick and somebody else was opening it and I went to sprint in. Full pelt in, but only my head got through because the door slipped from their hand and slammed my head. I remember being like “hmm, ok that’s embarrassing as fuck” and then my friends were like “OMG are you ok” and I was like “yeah, I’m fine” because I was so cool at that time obviously. But then they were like going to get a teacher and I was like “no, it’s fine, I just feel a wee bit tired”. I now know that is a sign of a concussion. I was also very out of it and confused, another sign of concussion.

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But then they were like “your fucking head is bleeding you dumb bitch”, or something along those lines, so I was like fine and we went to the teacher. Obviously she was like what the actual fuck, this child is literally bleeding and looks like she’s drunk or some shit. So they brought me to the nurse and got me one of their handy dandy wet paper towels (that defo saved my life) and I went on for lunch and got all the attention which I obviously loved. They had called my mum but in the mean time I was milking it to all my friends and was like “it hurt really bad but it’s totally fine, I can handle it”. And I distinctly remember someone was like “can I see it” so I took of the paper towel and they were like “oh my god I can literally see right through” obviously you really couldn’t but I thought I was the bees knees.

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Eventually my mum came to pick me up and brought me to the doctors who stitched it up and told my mum to check on me during the night to check I don’t become deceased and that was that. I came back to school the next day like the baddie I was. I don’t really think I got a scar from that but it defo jolted my brain a little and I will blame that for all my failures in life for no particular reason. It was a good laugh too I suppose. I also have a quick question for all the American’s out there. If any of this happened to you would you literally just risk it for a biscuit and not go to the doctors because of no free health care and all that shit. Would you just take all the nurses paper towels and sleep under them or something because damn.

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Anyways, those are the three biggest injuries I have gotten that have probably impacted my brain or the eventual outcome of a massive forehead which I very much despise. It’s all fun and games though and I’m still alive today which can be seen as a positive and negative lol. Hopefully that is all the head injuries I got for a wee while and just remember, don’t be a cocky bitch baby, watch out for spoons, and never hide in the bathrooms for hide and seek. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Weekly Reminder

I’ve heard a lot of people mention something that their therapist once told them to do. They said “the other day my therapist told me to look over at an empty chair and imagine child you sitting on it. They then asked me what I looked like and I said I looked happy and excited. … Continue reading Weekly Reminder

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The Olympics: Awkwardness Unlocked

So I was just watching the opening ceremony or the Olympics and I’m sorry but like how awkward would that be. Especially for the people that work there and just wave as they walk down and have to act as though people are watching them but like really nobody is. And then the actual athletes are walking down having to look hype and they have just worked all of their lives to get to this very moment that they might never have again and are now walking through an empty stadium with a bunch of people who are more focused on fucking demolishing you than they are actually interested in you. I especially feel bad for the countries that literally have 2 people in their group and they are always pretty much socially distancing themselves from each other. I mean surely if you only had that person in your team you would be pretty close or at least tolerate each other.

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Don’t get me wrong, what they are doing is absolutely awesome and I would never be able to get to that point but I would be pretty pissed if nobody was watching or cheering me on because that would really boost the ego. I guess that is unless you literally suck at it and land on your face when running or something. Even though you know millions of people are watching at home, it would be less embarrassing than thousands of people seeing you knock yourself out by tripping over your bloody laces. I think that at some points I would get so used to having nobody physically there watching me and I would end up doing something really embarrassing like singing and dancing to myself in the mirror and then I look next to me and there is a camera man absolutely pissing himself knowing he is gonna get bank for this. I would also have to do a few wee office moments where like if I didn’t win I would do a cheeky wee unbothered Jim side eye. I would also get so distracted by them and I know that they will always be there even when corona is a thing, but like now they are the only other things in the room and my short attention span would actually make me forget where I was and then I’d get a volleyball to the head or some shit.

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I would also get embarrassed because you know when they are doing the national anthem and they are proper looking in the sky while the cameras are going along a line videoing them and they are always so emotional but like I probably would be singing the wrong words or like feel as though I need to look at the camera and I would turn into some sort of meme with the caption “that creepy kid in the restaurant that keeps staring at you”. That isn’t even a joke. Do you reckon that they actually have to practice the national anthem or they already know it because I only know the first section of mine and then from their I am either bored as shit or just moving my lips but not making a noise. They probably do though. I actually do think that I would be trying hard not to laugh because I’ll just remember that one woman that absolutely butchered the American anthem because, although it isn’t my country’s anthem, it is absolutely fucking hilarious.

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I have to say, she isn’t a bad singer, she obviously got some skills but like for fuck sake, where was the need. Like honestly love. I wonder if she watched this back and was like why the fuck? Was she on crack or did she just love a cheeky wee remix. And the players where near pissing themselves. They did pretty good though because I know i’d be dying in the background. I kind of want to make this my alarm in the morning so I can wake up with great vibes. They aren’t lacking you gotta admit. And then at the end she was like “let’s play some basketball!” as though she really did something. Miss ma’am, you just slam dunked that anthem into the pits of hell, this ain’t no masterpiece bitch.

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This post got a bit off topic I think, but I guess what I wanted to say was that I feel bad for the Olympians this year and I hope they have a great time and sleep well on their cardboard beds. I also hope they get another chance next time so they can have the whole experience. Apparently it’s in Paris next time so I might have to have a wee scoot over because it ain’t a long flight from where I live. Maybe I’ll have a cheeky croissant or have a hot girl summer with the french dudes. But no matter what, and I mean no matter what, I am not gonna do the fucking tourist picture shit with the Eiffel tower. Did you know somebody actually married the Eiffel tower?! NO JOKE.

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And on that note, I will see you tomorrow. Thanks for being patient with my posts guys because I been kind of a busy bitch lately with work and all that going on. It’s a hard not life for a working woman who also hates being around anything and anyone 🙂 So yeah I’ll hopefully talk tomorrow and please don’t forget to subscribe so that you don’t miss the next one because I know you are gonna want to read it. I don’t know what it is yet but I know it’s gonna be great. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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I Hate Genes

To any foetus child out there who is like what the fuck are genes, basically they are the characteristics that we get from our parents and they make up who we are and what we look like. For example, I inherited my dad’s white ass Irish skin which burns like a bitch whenever a bloody tea light goes within 1 mile of it. So it’s not ideal. I also inherited his lack of eyebrows which shocked me, but you couldn’t tell because you couldn’t see my eyebrows expressions. I slightly blame my twin for that because, although it is probably scientifically impossible, I believe she robbed them from me in the womb. Unfortunately that doesn’t stand well in court so I never got back what is rightfully mine smh

I do have blonde hair which really is the only thing going for me but it is going darker and I resent that but it is what it is. Oh and I forgot to mention, I swear my twin stole my teeth because I have two missing and she’s a bit sus if you ask me. She isn’t little miss perfect after all. When she dies I swear I’ll find a long note releasing the truth. I don’t know why she would do it but like it meant that for 13 years of my life I looked like your crazy young cousin whose only personality trate is losing their teeth. And now I have fake teeth that I sometimes think will fall out. IM FUCKING 16 YEARS OLD YET I’LL LITERALLY HAVE FAKE TEETH DRILLED IN MY MOUTH AT 18. I remember one time when I had to put my fake teeth in my retainers and one day I forgot them for some dumb fucking reason and I was like dad we need to turn back and he was like no. The trauma this man caused right then was astronomical but he didn’t give a shit. I kid you not, I had to spend that whole day trying not to smile with my teeth or talk to anyone but then in one of my classes I forgot and smiled at someone and they looked at me like what the fuck and then was like “where have your teeth gone”. Keep in mind I was 13-14 so all my teeth should have fallen out and grown back so it was weird. I also regret this moment because I could have pranked them so easily by acting scared and going “oh my god where the hell did they go” but no I had to really say “I forgot them at home”. I FORGOT THEM AT HOME! What the actual fuck. No teen should have to say that they left their teeth at home. I am still recovering from that chat.

But back to what I wanted to talk about today. My pale ass skin. I kid you not, I only have two different options. White as fuck or red as fuck. Yesterday I thought I would switch it up a bit so I got burnt to a crisp. I regret it. Why do I never learn. I literally thought I could wish my way into going tan but instead I look like a fucking stop sign. It was dumb how it happened though because I must have forgotten to put suncream on like half of my legs and I didn’t realize. Like I knew my attention span was shit but I thought I could at least pay attention to this. So I had work after and I was basically cooking the meals on my legs cause they were burning so much and then when I took them off later I thought I was turning into Elmo because those bitches were RED. I basically bathed them in aloe Vera and cried because I am now currently on the way to a beach where the general public are and they can see my bright ass legs. Everyone also seems to have to point them out. Like just when I stop thinking about it someone needs to pop out from the sky and go “OH MY GOD” literally like Janice from friends “YOU ARE GLOWING” and I look at them like no shit Sherlock. I didn’t realize that my legs could double as a flare to attract planes and a heater to toast our sandwiches. Leave me and my burns alone. And of course my twin fans. That cheeky bitch. How did I get the pale skin, invisible eyebrows, missing teeth AND the mental illness 😮

Anyways that is the post and I’m glad to get that off my chest. Please feel free to comment some things you inherited from your parents or whether you relate to some of the things I have. Have fun in the sun and don’t forget suncream bitches. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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Who Else Is Pissed At Forrest Gump’s Mum?

Bitch, I don’t know much about this movie. I mean I’ve watched it and I know the general plot but like the only thing that sticks with me to this day and the phrase that every organism is aware of is when he says “mama says life is like a box a chocolates, you neve’ know what ya gonna get”. What they didn’t specify is the brand the box of chocolates is. This saying basically isn’t motivational to me anymore because I feel like I’ve been given a box of Rose’s chocolates (aka the worst box of chocolates ever) and while I may not always know what I’m gonna get, I know they are all gonna be crap. So to whoever the fuck Gump’s mum is, you need to pick a better quote because that one didn’t help me a bit.

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I mean maybe at first you will be like “I’ve had a few shit ones so far but that surely means I’ll get a great one in no time!” but then after a while you kinda catch on and your like “why the fuck is all of this crap. I quite literally think that chocolate was a pile of dirt. What brand is this anyways? *turns box over* oh for fuck sake it’s a fucking box of roses. WHY WOULD ANYONE BUY THIS SHIT”. I would just like to mention that this isn’t a dig on people who like those chocolates but I just want to say, who hurt you? I mean seriously why do you like them. They are literally a selection of the worst chocolates from all the other elite boxes of chocolate out there. To be fair I haven’t had one in a while but that is because the first one I ever had quite literally tasted like soap so in the context of Forrest Gump’s quote, it was my first traumatizing experience. It kinda is like Turkish delight.

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I have another problem with movie directors and food. Why the hell did they have to make Turkish delight in the Narnia movie look so good. Like he was munching away and I was looking at it like it was my mission in life to try it and taste how good it looks. But then the first time I took a bite, my whole perception of the movie was flipped upside down. He betrayed me. He led to this very moment of me eating this shit. It is literal soap but he makes it look like a proper feast. I think that is where I developed trust issues. It affected me as a person and it has changed me to this day. I can’t look him in the eye anymore when I watch the movie because I just know he is a slithery snake. The thing is though that some people absolutely love that shit. Both roses and Turkish delight and, while I would say they are unstable, it also makes me think that, although my life may be terrible, at least it isn’t so bad that the taste of roses and Turkish delight is better than other things in my life. Just think of that for a second.

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Again, I can’t stress enough that this is a joke and not to attack anyone who like either of these things… well maybe a bit! Jokes, jokes :)…. 😐 But yeah I feel as though somebody had to address it because it is a serious issue and we need to educate our kids that the things we see online aren’t always real. Not all that food is good and we need to protect them from the false tastes that are shown to us everyday. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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Summer In The UK Is No Fucking Joke

You see, I have been to Florida, California, Turkey, Spain and some other places and they have all been really warm. Like obviously they were roasting places, but not one of them (well, maybe Florida) roasted or toasted me like the UK does. It’s as if the sun piled up all it’s heat that is supposed to hit the UK during the year and then fucking dumps it on us for a couple of days each year. One day I’ll be in my winter quilt absolutely freezing my tits off and the other I will be sleeping in my own sweat, basically being air fried. Write now, no joke, I am sweating my ass off. Like my ass is down the street and probably in Turkey right now because I’m sweating so much. It really ain’t fun. And the fact is, we aren’t prepared for this type of weather. It only happens once every three hundred billion cups of tea. So we have no air conditioners or shit like that. No, we just fester and complain about it.

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It kinda goes like this. For 360 days of the year, we complain about how cold it is and how it always rains and is fucking miserable, but then for the other 5 days of the year, when it is absolutely boiling, we complain about it being too hot. But you better fucking believe with will complain while having a great time. The day drinking will be at an all time high, which I didn’t think could get any higher in the UK, the beaches will be packed, the pasty legs will come out and we will burn and tan until our skin falls off. We will complain, but we also won’t waste it. To be fair though, at the moment I am inside on my computer, but my windows are open so that’s something. It is pretty quiet outside though but I’m guessing everyone is at the beach or doing some crazy shit because when it is sunny in the UK, nothing matters anymore. I am just happy we don’t have school at the moment because usually the sun is released as soon as our exam papers are set on our desk. That isn’t even exaggerating, like it really is like that and everyone else can back me up. Maybe the world is a bit guilty for the whole pandemic thing and is giving us some sort of … what’s the word? Hap.. Happne… oh, happiness. I almost forgot the word there lol.

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The thing with me when it comes to sunny weather is that my twin sister robbed me off the ability to tan, and my eyebrows, so I literally won’t tan. I do get a few freckles tbh but like I will burn like a bitch if I get one singular ray of sun touching my skin and I instantly start pealing. What I do have though is blonde hair, so I will sacrifice everything else just to get my hair in the sun so it can go lighter. During the rest of the year, I near cry cause I think I’m going brunette (no offense I just like my blonde hair) and then in summer, like a fucking mood ring or some shit, my hair goes blonde again and we do the whole “should I put lemon in my hair to speed up the process”, which I never actual do because I don’t want to be so sticky and stuff like that. The thing is though, if you are around me on a sunny day, be prepared to have me mention how I want my hair to get lighter because of the sun as though it is some sort of medical mystery and I’m one of a kind. Literally it will go like this

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THEM – “my nan just died”
ME – “well I’m gonna die if the sun doesn’t fucking lighten up my hair

THEM – “what even is life? Like how the fuck did we come to exist”
ME – “Exactly! Like how come my hair can change colour and soon it will become luxuriously blonde. It’s just crazy”

THEM – “me and your dad are getting a divorce”
ME – “It’s because my hair is browner now, isn’t it, but I swear when I go in the sun it will go blonde again, just wait a few days”

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It’s a crazy life bro. But I’m gonna wrap it up here because, if you haven’t caught on, it is boiling outside and I haven’t got much time left to complain about it, burn and get my hair lighter again. Feel free to comment below if you found this relatable or if there are any other things people need to know about summer in the UK. It is crazy tbh. Don’t forget to like, follow and comment for more and I will see you again tomorrow for more. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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The Best Part About Having Great Friends

Now, I ain’t tryna rub this in anyone’s face or nothing but like, I have a small group of really close friends and despite the fact it took me a while to get over myself and make friends, it was totally worth it because we are so close. We have never had fights like everyone else seems to have in school, and we are unproblematic. There is 5 of us, including me, so I suppose you can say we are a smaller group, but I don’t think I could imagine there being anymore. There have been people who have tried to go into our group which leads to awkward situations but it has always just stayed the same for us. Pretty much we just live our life like the people who walk away from an explosion without looking back to see it. We are those bitches and I wouldn’t change a single thing about it. So that does sound like a bit of a flex, but I added that because there is one thing that happens that I absolutely love and that I know other people go through with best friends. So lets talk about it.

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So, this thing is when you are with your friends, it is usually getting dark and you are not surrounded by other people, so you’d be in a tent or like outside or in your bedroom in an empty house, and then the conversation changes so quickly. Not as in “I love dogs, except when mine bit of my Nan’s arm”. But like when you are talking about something hilarious and then the next minute you find yourself talking about how we just live on a floating rock in empty space and we don’t even know what is out there. And I have no fucking clue how it gets there but like it isn’t awkward at all. We are all just like calm and talking back and forth and then you say something like “I just can’t even comprehend blah blah blah” and then someone else is like “that’s the same with me” and then you realise you aren’t crazy. Then all of a sudden you have just spilled all of the tea and fully exposed yourself but like you don’t even care. The thing that is extra funny about it is the fact that it is pretty much never mentioned again until the next time that situation happens and even then you usually switch up the topic. Maybe one week it was an existential crisis and the next it would be sharing traumas and then maybe next week we’ll mix it up with a talk about how scary the future is. It kind of is just pot luck at that point.

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Do you guys get that with your friends though? I always find it so fun because it is so spontanious and you find that other people understand and it shocks you and nobody is proper going to make a massive deal out of it and treat you differently. It doesn’t really happen with everyone that I am friends with, which is literally not that many lol, but with the closest friends this would be a regular moment. It happened yesterday when me and my friends were like just going to Tesco and then a field and it just hits out of nowhere. And then you usually just catapult back into the most random shit. It really is a mountain of emotions. Like we go from fuck all, to everything, to even less than before.

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This kind of a random post, a bit out of the blue you know, but like I have changed into a working woman because I have a job and that has made me exhausted and with little time to spare, but don’t fret guys because I will be trying my best to post I just don’t have a mind full of thoughts at the moment. It’s a good job though but I still literally freak out when I have another shift. We move though. So yeah, I’m keeping this short but I also want to add that if you are reading this and are like “oh shit I don’t have this with my friends” just know that it took me a while to find the right people and get comfortable enough to talk with them like that. I mean if you read one of my past posts abut my first year of high school you would know I never thought I would get to this point. So just be yourself and wait because you will find those friends someday and you can’t rush that shit, but it will be so worth it, trust me on that. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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The Audacity

Hey guys, so if you have read my blog before, you will know that I have a twin sister. We have pretty much the same friend group but there are a few people that she would be more friendly with than me because… well, I’m a socially awkward kinda bitch. But the reason the title … Continue reading The Audacity

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If You Haven’t Seen These Shows, Don’t Talk To Me

You know, this title may seem harsh but like if you haven’t watched these I really do have to question your mental well-being and ask how long you have been living under a rock. Like, these shows are so elite that I had that empty feeling when it finished. You know when you get so attached to the characters that you feel like friends but then it ends and you have to face reality again. Well, that is how I felt with these shows. I also have to ask if anyone else feels literally comforted by some shows because of the people in it and your life could be shit but they are a constant in all the change and when the show ends you feel scared and sad they have left you? Just me? Ok.

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Dead To Me

Dead to Me: Season 1 – Review | Netflix Comedy | Womentainment

I am pretty sure this one is a bit newer, as in released last year, but I only started watching it a month or two ago when my friend made me and then I forced my sister to watch it because it is literally the perfect mix of intense and fucking hilarious. The humor is 100% me and I die for it. It’s good as well because they don’t make stupid mistakes or unbelievable plots, like all of it makes sense and is well done and even though they have killed people, you feel bad for them. That’s kind of like another show I am gonna talk to you about in a second. What I also love about it is the length of it. Now you do get through it quickly which means it ends quickly so that’s sad, but like each episode is 30 minutes max which is perfect for me because I can’t be coping with any more no matter the show. For me, I couldn’t watch a 40 minute show, but I could watch two 20 minute shows perfectly fine you know. It just makes it feel like you are getting through it faster and every time a new one starts you feel refreshed. But no, if you want to watch a show that is
– sarcastic funny
– not long episodes
– murder mystery
– tense
– shocking
then you better fucking watch this. It literally shocked me because I thought it was gonna be boring as fuck but it’s actually funny as fuck! How the turns table.

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Money Heist

Money Heist Season 5 Release Date, Trailer, Cast, Plot ...

I have to flex on you all real quick. I watched this in Spanish without subtitles because, you know, I’m all bilingual and shit. I am actually just learning Spanish but I understood most of it or at least enough to enjoy the show. At the beginning, I have to admit I was kinda sleeping on money heist cause I found it kinda boring and also wasn’t fully getting all the dialogue, but when I improved and paid more attention, I was loving it. I also have to address the fact they are taking their fucking time to release the new season. Like there really is no need because I’m getting sick of it to be quite frank with you. I am forgetting what it left of at. This is the one I was talking about in the paragraph above where you also are on the robbers team and you hate the police that are supposed to be saving lives and shit. A wee bit of role reversal. In the 4th season I think it was, and that bloody body guard tried to save everyone I was fuming. I grew an attachment to them all and I won’t give anything away but like they really didn’t need to off that one person. But if you like
– longer episodes but not like boring long
– good robbery story line
– tense
– guns
– role reversal
then this is the one for you. I wouldn’t say there is much humour and it is defo more tense, but it is defo top tear entertainment if you ask me.

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How I Met Your Mother

The Value from How I Met Your Mother: Season 7 - Bearcat ...

The next couple of shows are gonna be basic as fuck but we have to address them because it would be disrespectful not to. This show is great. It has the whole “Friends” vibes and you feel like a family with them and you get familiar and comfortable with the show. It is great you know, but like, can I just say one thing. What the fuck? Like seriously, if the actors and the writing weren’t good for this then I would be wiping this show off because it’s utter shit. Like they stretched it out to the max because the dad really could have just said “i met her at so and so’s event” (I don’t want to spoiling anything) and then the ending when you find out what happened to the mother and you are like ok what the fuck. Like we really were not given a chance to know her. What I think they also should have left out or just cleared up was the fact that they always mentioned “your mother was there that day” but it literally doesn’t help out with the plot at all except for the room mates apartment. But, to be fair, despite all the shit I just said about it, it is a freaking awesome show and the actual episodes are amazing. Over all it is a banging classic and if you like
– “friends” vibes
– short videos
– older TV shows from the friends sort of time
– feel good
– comedy
– not a solid plot line but stays on track of a plot if you get me
then defo watch this. I would say I don’t have a way with words but I don’t know how to say it, just know that I mean it is a great show and if you haven’t watched it, you are uncultured.

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It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia

Zito Media » It’s Always Sunny with Brie Larson

This one is also the same vibe as friends and how I met your mother as in it is a feel good, kinda older and just fucking hilarious. This one is perfect for all the people with a sarcastic sense of humor, me, because they really take it to the next level. I near piss myself it is so funny. I do kinda admit though that at the start I wasn’t really feeling it but then when I knew the characters more, I couldn’t get enough of it. They are all so weird but like so normal but like kinda like me but not at all. They are just perfect and relatable but I have also never done anything like them. Charlie and Deandra literally crack me up. The fact they always just hate Deandra no matter what she does literally kills me and it never gets old. It’s so funny even just thinking about it. Defo a must watch but you gotta get through the first bit because it is a little slower to get into. Defo watch this if you like
– friends and how I met your mother vibes
– sarcastic comedy
– relatable but also not relatable shows
– short episodes
– feel good
– not a big plot line but still a plot
– binge-worthy shows
So yeah, you better have heard of it and you better start watching it because you will regret not watching it. Like it is so funny and I got through it so quickly. I would gladly watching again.

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Schitt’s Creek

6 Netflix Series That Are Worth Your Time | Kay Caton UK Blog

I feel so dumb for saying this, but it took me way too long to get the joke of the Roland guy. The characters name is Roland Schitt and I am so dumb for taking so long to figure that out. Also, quick trivia question. Why the fuck has the mum not been in more shows and movies since Home Alone because she is funny as fuck. Like I hadn’t seen her in anything for ages and it blew my mind to see her act this role. Her accent and everything about her is so funny. The way she says “behbeh” for “baby” makes me actually die of laughter. They are all absolutely awesome actors and are so perfect for every little part of the show. The episode where the shop got robbed was so funny. Like he really just gave him a gourmet meal to go. I haven’t watched it in a while so I don’t remember everything but I do know that you have to watch it if you like
– a new era of “friends” vibes
– shorter episodes
– sarcastic comedy
– over all comedy
– realistic
– feel good show
It is a classic we have to admit, even though it isn’t old. We also need to start a petition to get more shows featuring the Mum because she is a legend and the best actor. She was perfect for the role.

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Quick List

I can’t really be arsed to type much more so here is a quick list of other great shows

  • Friends because obviously!
  • Atypical because duh
  • The Office because it’s an absolute classic
  • Grey’s Anatomy because I am THAT basic bitch and it is absolutely amazing
  • Derry Girls because you gotta represent the home country and also it is fucking hilarious
  • Friday Night Dinner because Shalom this thing is hilarious
  • Modern Family because it is relatable, short episodes, great acting and fucking comedy gold
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I am sure there are lot of other shows I haven’t mentioned but this is what you are getting so get over it. I hope you agree with this because if you don’t then you might be unwell. Don’t forget to like, comment, follow and share with your friends to see who you can really trust. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Guess Whose Back!

Bro, obviously it’s me but I just needed something a bit more exciting as the title because I don’t think many people would click on “Sorry I have posted the last few days, I was busy” so yeah, if you guessed right then well done, but if not then I hope for you sake that … Continue reading Guess Whose Back!

Weekly Reminder

Hello guys, so I have posted in like two days but don’t worry it was just for my birthday so didn’t really have much time, but I’m back now so we are good to go. And what a better way to get back into things than a weekly reminder you know. I don’t really have … Continue reading Weekly Reminder

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Ok, But Like Where’s The Need?

So, with making this blog I wanted to make sure I was completely honest with you guys. I know that makes it sound really scary as though I’m gonna be like “I am Michael Jackson, I in fact did not die” but it isn’t that deep. It’s just a thing that most of us go through but nobody talks about which makes it seem like more of a weird thing. You’ll understand more when I get into this post but lets get started with a quick story time of what I did yesterday that kinda gave me this and you will probably be able to guess where I am going with this.

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So yesterday, I started my first day of work EVER. Like literally my first day of work, and it was in a restaurant, so it was safe to say I was shitting myself. But anyways, I went in absolutely shaking, so much so that they probably thought I was of those air bag people at car sales places that just flap around in the wind, but like during a hurricane. That was kind of a weird description but you get it, right. Anyways, I was nervous and sweaty and in a complete mess. But I tried to keep my composed. Luckily it was just a 3 hour shift. The people there were nice but like you know when you feel like people are being nice because they have to and in reality they don’t want you there. That was my thoughts. And I swear all my hearing went out the door because people would talk to me and, maybe it’s just the masks, but I couldn’t hear shit so would have to ask them to repeat and I would still not understand. I shadowed someone most of the time but when she went on break I felt so out of place and I barely talked to anyone else because I was the youngest and also scared I would do something awkward like be myself 😮

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If I made one mistake I would literally die inside and be like “I canny work a till what the fuck”. I also seem really dumb because I just don’t notice the obvious. Like the one time I spoke to another person was when I was like “is this the large and then the other one is the pint” because the actual large was actual at the back of the shelf and I didn’t really see it. And he was like “that is the regular, the large is this one” and he showed me so I went to try and find it and realised the glasses where fucking labelled so I looked like an idiot because I didn’t see them there. I looked like a dumb blonde in that moment. Also, whenever the forks ran out I was like where are the other forks and she pointed to a bucket of clean forks that was literally right beside me. I really don’t know how I wasn’t fired on the spot for incompetence. Also, I was so shaky that when I had to write down the orders, you could hardly read it and my handwriting is bad on a normal day but this was looking like fucking Latin or some shit because it made no sense at all

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But let’s get onto the main point of this post. From the moment my shift started to 2 pm the next day, I have been feeling so weird. Like I felt sick to my stomache and all the things I did wrong stuck in my head and I was so embarrassed and terrified for my next shift. I was literally still shaking and tense hours after it finished. It took me ages to get to bed that night because no matter what, I would always go back to thinking about how I was rubbish. And you know, I think a lot of people go through that especially at their first job, but in the moment you feel as though you are never gonna be able to work again. I have 3 shifts next week and I am actually so scared and I feel kind of like an impostor or some shit, but I am still gonna go and hopefully it only gets better from here. I mean I’m pretty sure this is as bad as it can get, but knowing me, I can go a lot lower than this, it’s a specialty of mine. lol jokes, but like I hope this is helpful to someone going through something similar or just scary in general and I hope that you have a way to express those feelings. If you don’t, please leave a comment or contact me directly and we can talk about whatever it is and if you are interested you could upload a post on this blog so that others can share their thoughts. It can be anonymous as well obviously.

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Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this post and found it somewhat useful because I know a lot of people can feel this amount of stress and anxiety after some situations, and know that’s ok as long as you share that with someone. But I will see you later for another post, don’t forget to like, share, comment and follow if you enjoyed this content. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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The World Needs More…

The world needs more pockets. Nope, that isn’t a joke. Today I am talking about why the world needs more pockets *gets kicked out of Climate Change organisation* In all honesty though, I have a solid argument about why we need more pockets. Maybe not in the USA though. They’ll just carry more guns 😮 … Continue reading The World Needs More…

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Do I Have Anger Issues Or Was She Just a Bitch?

You guys need to settle something for me today because just this morning I was confronted by a crazy, telly-tubby lookin’ ass bitch on my walk and she really angered me, I will tell the story in a sec, but when I told my mum she seemed unfazed. So today, with your opinion, I will discover if I have anger issues or my mum is also a Karen 😮 This is a big one guys. Maybe you just had to be there but I really did feel like kung-fu panda-ing the shit out of her. Also, disclaimer, no Karen’s were hurt in the following story (unfortunately)

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So here I was, minding my own business as one does on their usual morning walk with their tiny cute dog following behind. I kept walking and checking up on el perro and saw there was a woman walking up behind me with one dog that was on a leash and another German Shepard that wasn’t on a leash. I didn’t think anything of it because my dog is good and doesn’t like attack or any of that shit, but she is dramatic as fuck. Anyways, I let the woman go ahead because my dog was being slow and sniffing the dog that was OFF THE LEASH and may I add, the dog was 10 times the size of mine. Anyways, she went one way and I went to go another way and my dog was following the dog that was off the leash. The lady just laughed and did the generic “hahaha guess she is coming with me” (no this is not a kidnapping story) and so of course I did the whole “lol you are such a comedian” bullshit.

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But then my dog unleashed the dramatic bitch inside her and started doing a whole high pitched yelp at the dog that was OFF THE LEASH and maybe put her paws on the German Shepard’s face but like not with force. And then the owner got like crazy eyes and I was like “sorry about that, she is really dramatic” because she does that sometimes even though nobody got hurt or anything and it is all laughs, but then when I went to grab my dog she was like “get your dog right now!” But like in a really strict, scary way and I didn’t realise at first because she seemed nice but then I realised when was walking away and I’m just like what an actual cheeky fuck. Like no dogs were hurt, I made a joke saying she is just dramatic, the dog on the leash that I am assuming is angry, was nowhere near them and her dog was bigger than mine so was not going to get attacked by mine. And she just turned so rude and was giving me a dirty look. I was near ready to fight but I only processed it after we walked away from each other.

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So now I want you guys to comment and tell me if I misinterpreted it, but she sounded pretty fucking rude to me and nothing even happened. My dog just yelped and that was it and she is literally a miniature Schnauzer. I swear though… “get your dog right now!” Get your shit together right now you crazy lady. I wish I had realised and gave her a dirty look or just been like “right calm down it was just a yelp” or something like “sorry can you say that again, I forgot to act like I cared”. Can you tell I’ve been thinking about this a lot? Usually I don’t overreact. Like I seem like a very calm person but I also can take things the wrong way. She didn’t sound worried though so wasn’t scared her dog would do something but she sounded cheeky which meant I thought she was rude, obviously, and maybe she was having a bad day but it was literally bloody 10 am so like what could have happened in that time… like seriously. It’s just things like that though that really annoy me because I know that if I was to like say something or like defend myself, she would be fuming because I’m a teen and then I would be backing up the idea that teens are entitled fuckers who are always angry. Like people think that all the time even though we are just sticking up for ourselves. Don’t me wrong, some of us are like that but a majority of us are respectful but also know what we deserve.

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Anyways, that was quite the random post I have to admit but please do comment on your thoughts because I want to know if I am overthinking this. But I will see you again tomorrow for more and hopefully I won’t see that woman again because I might have a few words to say to her. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Weekly Reminder

Hi guys. This post is quite late but I am sure none of you really care about that. The truth is though, this week has been tough and I don’t want to hide that from you all because despite the fact I usually upload positive content and jokes etc. my life is not perfect. Not … Continue reading Weekly Reminder

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My First Holiday In Two Years

I feel like in 30+ years, there is gonna be someone that stumbles upon this post and be like “imagine not being able to teleport to wherever the fuck you want or even just hop in your flying car. Imagine how boring it would be especially as they don’t have phones built into their heads” or at least that is my prediction, but that isn’t today’s topic. Today I just wanted to talk about some of the things I missed, didn’t miss and discovered during my trip. I really am making it sound like a life changing trip to mars or some shit, it was just a small one but I’m going to continue being dramatic as fuck. Also I still have my nails on so sorry if this is quite a short post.

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Anyways, lets start with things that I missed. Obviously we have the whole getting out of the suffocating area that is your home country, being able to see other family and friends and being able to relax more. What I also missed about holidays was the whole seeing places you have never seen before. The place I went to was literally just across the water so I can’t say there was much of a culture shock but like for the past 2 years or so, the only places I could go on a normal basis was my home and school, which are 2 pretty boring places after like 2 days. So actually going outside, seeing people I have never seen and places that don’t look like the normal 4 boring fucking walls that trap me inside all year around. It just feels more normal I guess and after all this time in one place I feel like every little difference is highlighted so much. Like I literally saw that the public buses there were a different colour from home and my world was, to say the least, completely changed. I couldn’t stop looking at them and making sure everyone else knew that the buses were different to home as though they gave a shit. As though they would turn around and grab me on the shoulders and with tears in their eyes they would say “thank you so much for sharing this marvelous discovery”. But to me it was a bit awesome and I know I sound like an idiot but like I really fucking hate the site of my home town to be honest.

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Now to things that I didn’t miss. Car journeys, the long ones that make your literal ass cry out for help as it is so painful that you want to die. I sit in the middle of the car because if I don’t then my sisters will absolutely annihilate each other. I do this for the squad and I do this for my gang. But yeah, I swear I was in the car during the holiday more than I was anything else and I will literally cry if I have to listen to anymore of my dad’s music. I might actually just let my sisters kill each other and hopefully me in the process.

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What I also hated was all of the fucking photos. There was a point where I was nearly in tears because every step you take was just “oh my god I need a photo of this rock” or “oh my god this is amazing” and then when you gurn even a little, they act like you just offended the whole family tree, but if you stop for one second to check out a shop the shit hits the fan. So you just cry at every single photo and all the bad angles and moments they take. I don’t want to remember every single crumb of every single meal I ate. And you just know they are about to post them on Facebook every little chance they get. I also hare being around people all the time. That is normal for me even before the pandemic, but it has gotten worse. Like I have to share every single bedroom with my twin and I’m sorry but I was near ready to slam that hoe into the floor, not because she did anything but because I hated the site of her, the aura she emitted. The only time I had to myself was in the bathroom and people probably thought I had bowel issues at some points, but I just wanted out of there.

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Last but not least, things that I discovered. Not much actually. I mean I guess not all buses are the same colours and I confirmed that I really don’t have a good side, but like nothing really mind blowing. I wasn’t like “oh my god I need to get away from home and discover everything life has to offer” and race away with a big smile into a Disney musical. To be honest, I just discovered that me and my parents have fuck all in common and I’m a lazy hoe. So yeah

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Anyways, I hope you guys liked this post. Hopefully I will be able to post more content now because I am back home and I actually have some privacy which is great. So yeah, don’t forget to like, subscribe and comment if you enjoy this type of content and I will see you tomorrow for more. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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My Only Summer Goal

To all my friends out there, I am sorry bitches but like this is my big goal. You are already my whole life so that’s why it isn’t a goal but of course I will still spend time with you. Or I will for as long as my mental state will let me lol. That … Continue reading My Only Summer Goal

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“You look just like your dad”

Let’s play a quick game of never have I ever. Never. Have I ever needed to hear that. Never have I ever wanted to hear that. Never have I ever felt good after hearing that. Never have I ever gone to someone’s house and they didn’t say this. Never have I ever been more offended. But literally why do people think that it would be a good thing to say to a teenage girl that they look just like an old, balding, wrinkly, angry, sore backed man. Like seriously what the fuck made you say that. There was actually one time I went to my sisters boyfriends house for some reason and I had never seen his parents before but I kid you not, the first thing they said to me was “you look just like your dad”… what dumb fuckery is that because I didn’t even know he had seen them. Like what the hell. Needless to say, I never saw them again. Highly unappreciated to be honest with you.

The saddest thing is though is that I can see it. Like they aren’t wrong. Did they need to point that out though? No. But they aren’t wrong. One time at New Years there was this thing where you had to guess who was who from their childhood photos. Don’t ask why. But we just did. And I was looking around when my sister called me over and was like “look at this” and so I did. She covered the hair of my dads picture and was like “look”. This bitch really called me out because it literally looked exactly like me. Great start to the new year am I right. Like why the actual fuck did I have to inherit his non-existent eyebrows and his literal 5 head. Not appreciated father.

But yeah, I never get compared to as my Mum but like I guess looking like my dad, while embarrassing, let’s me know I am not adopted because as a child I would be like “Oh mY GoD iM aDoPteD” just because I the only one in my whole family that has blonde hair. What do you guys get compared to. Is there anything other than your parents you get compared to or maybe even a celebrity! The only celebrity I’ve been compared to is the bloody monster from the goonies. He is such a babe though I guess.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this post and make sure to like and comment below if you have anything else to add. I’ll see you tomorrow for more hopefully and I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


I Hate To Be That Bitch But…

You guys have to agree with me when I say that a lot of things we do nowadays is heavily judged. Like there are a lot of things that people aren’t willing to admit they do because people will laugh at them and call them a basic bitch or a pick me type of person. Don’t get me wrong, there are a few things that mean that you are definitely that type of person but like some things are a bit of a stretch. So yeah, I guess I will expose myself today and show you some of the things that make me “that bitch”.

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Starbucks

Being a blonde teenage girl, I feel like I am already set up to get judged 10 times more than others because you know, I look like the dumb blonde whose only personality trait is sipping iced coffee obnoxiously loud in class. But like I do love myself a wee iced coffee. It doesn’t have to be Starbucks I guess but Starbucks is the place you usually get judged for going to. Especially on holidays when you are literally sweating your ass off and you step into the cafe with a gust of cool air hitting you and the sound of the coffee machine. It is literally so good. I don’t know why but I love the sound of the coffee machines in cafes. So you can call me a basic bitch for liking a cheeky wee Starbucks iced coffee on a nice warm day because I won’t stop for nobody PERIODT

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Water

We are kinda focusing on the drinks today aren’t we but they are important ones to mention I think. I love water. I don’t know why but like water really hits different. When you are absolutely parched, you don’t reach for a bloody coke no matter what the ads show. You go for a freaking water and that shit is amazing. Like even at a restaurant, I might be that girl who orders water. That is partially because I am broke but like I do enjoy water. But then the one time that I do get a fizzy drink or something, there will be that one adult who is like “oooh, teens and their cokes these days, can’t get them off it”. And you just stare at them like “this isn’t fucking cocaine, like I haven’t had one in ages. I don’t have a bloody mini fridge of things like other teens do”. So yeah, I guess I’m just quirky lol. Forget I ever said that last part that was a joke lol. But despite the fact people think it is boring to like drinking water and every time you get it instead of a monster energy drink you are literally shunned from the friend group. And you know what, I am not taking it any longer. You all know that water is the best.

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Dishes

This one is kind of a different one because I don’t really think that a lot of people my age will relate to this but I actually like doing the dishes. It is just like so relaxing when you are doing something while just watching something on your phone and it is nice to see the pile of dirty dishes go down and then you put stuff away and it is very visually gratifying. I always like to see the results happen you know. And I bet that some guy is gonna be in the comments like “well it’s in a woman’s nature” and to that I say shut the fuck up and I am only one woman and I know that probably a majority of us don’t like it but we aren’t gonna get all political here sorry about that. But the one thing that I hate about doing dishes is when people keep putting dirty dishes in the pile and I’m like where was the fucking need. I mean since when did you have a whole fucking IKEA in your bedroom? I also hate afterwards when you have to clean the drain and there are pieces of disgusting food at the bottom. Literally the bane of my existence. I think that one of the worst punishments would be being in a bath and there are bits like those in it and so you can feel it all over. That would be hell

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Ed Sheeran

I know this one is about to get controversial but I swear that one day Ed Sheeran was just completely cancelled and I really have no clue why. Like I see so many things saying that people who still listen to Ed Sheeran are weirdos or they wouldn’t be caught dead listening to him but like some of his music is good. I mean would I be a crazy fan girl and buy his hair on eBay? No. But do I listen to some of the absolute classics? Hell yeah. Someone please explain what he did because I don’t know why I am supposed to be embarrassed for listening to him. He is a good singer too so that can’t be it. I swear to god, if it is because he is ginger!! Literally that would be so hilarious but like it’s 2021 guys, we gotta start getting over that ok.

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I Don’t Cry at Movies

This one might seem normal at first. Like there are people who just don’t cry at some things and that’s fine, right? Well, what if I told you I didn’t tear up at “The Notebook”, “The Boy In The Stripped Pajamas” or “Marley and Me” but I did cry at “Moana”, “Inside Out” and “Little Women”. Yup, kinda a weird mix. And you know the 3 that I just said I cried at, those are the ONLY movies I have ever cried at. Well, excluding the time I probably cried at bob the builder because I was forced to watch it over and over as a baby. Bob the builder is such a show though you have to admit. But no, everyone says I have a heart of stone because while they are over there buried in tissues, I’m in the corner making fun of them. You do have to admit though, whenever Moana’s grandma dies it is so fucking sad and then when she comes back as a fucking fish and starts singing. Moana could have sailed in my tears bitch.

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Anyways, I think that is all that I will mention for today. Don’t forget to leave a comment if you relate to any of these things or if you do things that others may judge you about. We probably all do it so like don’t even be worrying and even if we don’t, there is no judgment here. But yeah, like, follow and comment if you enjoyed this content and, if you can, feel free to donate some money in the box down below to help the blog keep going. Anything is appreciated. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Things That Make Me Feel Stupid (well, more than usual)

We love a good self-deprecating post. It is kinda fun though because it is easy and I can say anything I want about myself and I won’t offend anyone, unless you are literally the exact same as me. Multiverse?! But yeah, some of these things are kinda basic but, being a person with a typical low self esteem, I feel a lot of things make me feel stupid. I’ll only list a few things today though so I don’t make myself look like an actual idiot. This is just for the lols as well guys so don’t get too offended or like anything like that.

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Paint-by-numbers

Can You Color Inside the Lines? Yes No What Did You Expect ...

This one doesn’t make me feel so much as stupid as it does untalented. Like I really have 0 talents and it shines through in paint by numbers. My mum got me one and it is really fun and I enjoy it like, but I don’t know if my hands are too shaky but I can not keep it neat and I can’t keep it even either, like you can tell there is more paint in some parts. I can also tell that art is not my strong point because I just can’t figure out how much paint I need for a certain bit and I end up getting none on my brush for a big section and then literally the whole wee tub for a tiny section. You do have to admit though it can be quite hard when you have the little bits and, me already being quite blind, has to go right up to the picture as though I am freaking lying down or some shit. Do you guys get that in school where you like realise that when you are writing your face gets so close to the table and you are like when the fuck did that happen. I always find that and get super embarrassed because there really is no need for me to do that.

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Another thing about paint-by-numbers that I know every fucking one of you understands is how hard it is to open the lids of the paint. Like they are so tiny and literally hurt and you are scared it is just going to go flying everywhere when you do. I am better than a few years ago I must say but like some are so hard and I really do feel defeated by a piece of plastic. It defo fits into the same category as that other packaging that knives or scissors are in and can only be cut with knives and scissors so you are screwed because the thing you need to open it is the thing that you are trying to get out. As you can tell, this is quite a passionate topic for me

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Conversations

How to talk to people | Steven Universe | Know Your Meme

This happened like literally 10 times yesterday and I know a lot of you guys, if not everyone, will feel the same way. There are a few things withing this category that I want to mention, the first being that you can’t understand what the person is saying and you ask them again and again and eventually just go off their cues. Like I had asked my friend to repeat herself twice already and then I saw she smiled so I was like “aha oh really” and like nodded my head and smiled. She could have been saying absolutely anything and I would have no clue. Then you just awkwardly stop talking because you don’t know what to say after and you spend the rest of the day trying to figure out what they say. And sometime when this happens and you think they said something but you are like what does that mean so you say what you think they said out loud and they are like what the fuck that isn’t what I said lol and then when you hear yourself say it you realise you are so dumb and it was so obvious. Like say my friend was talking about cinema’s or whatever and I was like “who’s cinema” and then I would be like that was so stupid. That was actually the worst example I could have used lol but we move.

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Another thing that makes me feel stupid is when you are having a conversation and you either can’t pay attention to what they are saying for some reason or you can’t keep track of it and despite the fact you were listening, you don’t know where that part of the convo came in. It is so hard though whenever you can’t pay attention to someone who is talking but you want to and then you are thinking too much about trying to listen that you can’t actually remember what they just said but now they are asking you a question that gives no indication of what we were talking about like “what do you think” and you just panic. That literally happened to me at my job interview and I nearly shit myself. And then when you get into the position of not understanding when that part of the convo went in and you have to ask so many questions that they probably just explained like “so what was that cat? Whose was it? When and where did you find it?” And you realise you just asked the whole fucking backstory that doesn’t even matter and then sometimes you still don’t know what they are on about

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Drinking

The best sobriety memes : stopdrinking

When I say drinking, I don’t mean like alcohol or whatever, I just mean the action of drinking. I just can never seem to understand basic physics in the moment I am drinking from a bottle. The number of times I drank too much and had to literally drown for a second so I didn’t spit anything out is actually ridiculous. It happened so much on online school too because my camera was off, luckily, and I was bored as fuck so I would just be looking into space and the only thing I could do was drink more water and then I just didn’t grasp that if I picked up the bottle quickly and brought it to my mouth then a wave of water would happen and end up going all over me. It was so humiliating despite the fact I was the only one in the room. Do you think that someone has actually died from swallowing too much water and literally not being able to breathe. It hurts to doesn’t it. And I always seem to miss my mouth when drinking out of a glass and I am like “hmm why is there water going down my top” and then I’m like oh cause I’m an idiot. What I also hate is when you just took a drink of water and someone makes a joke and you have to literally fight for your life to not spit it out everywhere. You literally look like a puffer fish and it is not ideal.

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“Child Geniuses” The TV Show

Me irl | Child genius, Student memes, Top memes

This is one of the examples where it makes me feel dumb but I am glad I’m not one of them. Like I genuinely feel bad for those kids because they defo have no friends or spend time doing normal stuff and they will become depressed and like become a hippy. That is true though. I mean great if you child is smart but like why put them in a competition that, if they doesn’t win, will make them think they are dumb but they really just aren’t. And some of the things they have to do aren’t even good for life. Even some school subjects are more useful than what they do. They have to fucking learn the order of a deck of cards and like all of the streets in London which is literally one of the hardest tests and adults struggle to do it. And the spelling bee… don’t get me started. I had to use auto-correct to spell geniuses. That is no joke. The spelling bee is better though but literally makes me feel dumb as fuck. It also cracks me up though. They are so proud of themselves and literally spell the most fucked up words. Iridocyclitis

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Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this post and if you did don’t forget to like, follow and comment what else makes you feel stupid and see if anyone else can relate. But yeah, I’m going to go a do things that make me feel a bit smarter than usual like watching Dora the explora. I can always find the things before she does, lazy bitch. But yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow for even more. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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Read some more posts

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My Honest Opinion On Public Transport | Hint – NOT Ideal

I feel like a common theme with my content and the titles is that they all seem like I am about to go into some political talk as though I am about to rant about taxes or other Karen shit, but like it really isn’t, so I don’t know if I attract the wrong audience with it. I can imagine a bunch of middle aged women getting their hair pumped up at the back, like the typical Karen’s do, and getting ready to take notes on the topic so they too can complain about public transport or some shit. And if that does happen to be you, you are gonna be disappointed because it is just my opinion and for a bit of a laugh. I do honestly think public transport is great because of global warming and all that, but like that is the most political thing I am gonna be saying in this post so like I’m sorry to disappoint I suppose lol. I’m gonna go through each form 1 by 1 just because… well I don’t know why but I just am and I don’t know why I am telling you but lets just roll with it.

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Trains

In all honesty, I love a good train. I think it is my favorite form because it is more relaxed kind of but still not very relaxed. I don’t know why though but they stress the shit out of me and I actually do know why so let me explain. I hope I don’t sound insane, but I also feel the same way about roller coasters which is that I kinda forget that a human controls them and they aren’t just on a time limit. And what I mean by that is that when I go on a roller coaster I get really stressed that the people aren’t going to get to me quick enough so they won’t be able to check my harness, when in reality, they control it and only start it when everyone is on. It isn’t like they have to get it all done in 5 minutes and if somebody isn’t strapped in right then that’s too bad. I feel the same way about the train too, so I feel that if the people getting in first take too long, they will just shut the doors and leave but like people control it so they wouldn’t do that unless they were like bunged up. So that is kinda stressful I suppose.

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These are good though because they are quick and usually not too disgusting and they are quick too. Kinda nice vibes as well ad make you feel kinda grown up but like I wouldn’t be wanting to go on at night because, as a woman, I don’t think that would end well for me but like oh well. I think I made another post not long ago talking about how the train conductors are also really scary usually and act as though they have been pissed off since the day they were born, but like you just ignore them I guess and you are fine. Sometimes you can get lucky where they don’t get to you in time so you don’t have to pay and that is an added bonus like. Another thing I also get stressed about is getting onto the train and also just the train platform. I remember the first time I went on the train alone and my mum was waiting at the platform until the train left and she was in front of the yellow line and I was so panicked even when the train wasn’t moving. I was acting as though she was about to get sucked under the train just because she was close to it. I still kinda get scared of that. And when you get onto the train and have to walk over the gap to get in, I always feel as though, somehow, my phone or whatever I am holding, is going to fall in and then I will never get it back. I don’t always feel like I will fall in, but like I have to hold onto everything for dear life because I think it is somehow going to propel itself under the train. How embarrassing would that be if I did though. I always feel like I left something on the train too even when I literally didn’t bring anything onto it lol.

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Bus

This is hands down my least favourite public transport. Like what the actual fuck I hate it so much. It is stressful enough when I have to get on it to go to school because I feel like I will get on the wrong one and end up in Russia or some shit. And the time table, like I just don’t trust it. You have to make sure that you get on the right one and when you do there are barely any seats so you have to end up sitting or standing next to the druggy who smells like actual shit. And even if you do get a seat they are always so dirty and infested with like 100 different viruses. It is so stressful as well when you get on and they just start moving the bus when you are still paying or just getting to your seat and you are literally flailing everywhere. It’s as though your drunk or something and they always suddenly stop and send you flying into someone. I always get scared that they will not stop at my stop for some reason.

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My school bus for going home is literally shit. There are no seats, there are first years running around and shouting everywhere and you can’t even tell them to shut the fuck up, the drivers have anger issues and they sometimes put up the wrong fucking number so they drive a different way and you are like am I getting kidnapped lol. And if they do take the right way at the start, they fucking miss the last stop and we are like “umm where are you going” and they act as though they don’t know shit and are like “where was I supposed to go” and then take a bloody one hour detour just to turn around. It is so stressful and packed and they never have the heaters on in winter but in summer they seem to work and the air conditioning is broken. I hate buses with a passion and I always will

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Taxi

I don’t really know if they are included in the public transport category but they need mentioned anyways. They aren’t too bad like but why does it have to be so awkward and expensive and also kinda embarrassing when you have to take one because you were late to school. When you get one you have to sit there awkwardly or just engage in small talk that makes you want to pull your eyeballs out. The people driving are usually quite nice though and the actual car is nice and clean which is a good touch. I don’t live in New York so like these aren’t any crappy yellow ones. You have to call the company to send someone over and they are nice and all so that isn’t the bad part but why the fuck are they so bloody expensive. Like I guess you have to pay for gas and it is more private but like for fuck sake. You just look at the meter going up every second and you get a fucking heart attack. Sitting in traffic wondering if you can afford to get home. Like what if you don’t have enough money to pay for it all because it is more than expected? Do you just walk away or what

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I remember in primary school we went in taxis to go to things like swimming and school trips and we thought we were the bees knees. Especially if the teacher didn’t go in your car and it was just your mates and the driver. There was this one time though when it was just me, my friends and the driver and we got in and the teachers were taking role or whatever and then our driver just drove straight away because the car was full and we were like what the fuck because nobody else had left. The guy was really nice but like on the edge of scary but like he did get us to the place but then 10 minutes after, our teacher finally got there and was like what the fuck because she though we were getting kidnapped or some shit because she didn’t tell the driver to go yet. Kinda fun times I suppose. You would have to be dumb to kidnap someone in a taxi though, pretty obvious like.

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Planes

I do love a good plane, don’t get me wrong. I mean I love the vibes, it is quiet and you can relax. It is quick and you get the best shows in the world, the safety briefing. But what the fuck is up with the food. Who pissed off the cooks to make them prepare this. I don’t mind the snacks and stuff like the muffins or tea because those are fine, but like I remember I was flying over to america from Northern Ireland and I had pasta or something and it was absolutely awful. Just the texture was so bad. It was all one texture and that was slimy. The chicken was literally rank, the pasta was near dripping and I got off the plane feeling like shit. The people on the plane were kinda cheeky and stuck up though but it might just be because it as a long flight or there were annoying customers, but even at the start you could tell they wanted to throw you out the plane. The first movie is always the most exciting because you are like “ooh, I’m watching a movie in the air on the way to holiday, how fun” but after you are all cramped, you are bored, always interrupted, you need to pee but don’t want to go past anyone and you still have hours left. So while I do prefer a plane to a boat, they can get a bit old very quickly. They are more relaxed though especially when at the airport because you have you plain time called every hour, there is a clear sign about it, there are shops that are way over priced but good for looking around and it is honestly a vibe. I love people watching, not in a creepy way, so it is cool to see how people are literally going everywhere in the world. And if you just sit at the seats near your terminal, you will be sure to never miss your plane, so good times all around.

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I remember the first time that I went on a plane without my parents and it was just me and my twin going over to England. The flight over was totally fine and kinda fun, but on the way back I was near in tears because, as you may know, I am quite the anxious person and we had gotten to our terminal with pretty much no bother and when we got there we sat for a bit and this guy was coming around checking the size of peoples bags. Ours had gotten through before so we were like we’ll be fine. Spoiler alert, we weren’t. It was the same airline, the same bags, the same stuff in it and the bag wouldn’t go in by like 1 mm. And I was like, we are never gonna get on this plane, we are going to be stranded here, I am never going to see my family again and the worker was talking about how it was too big and I was like but it got in before and he was like “not it didn’t” and I was like “bitch yes the fuck it did” and then he started talking about having to pay £30 to get it on the plane and I was like “we don’t have that much money with us” because we had just finished our trip and hadn’t brought much in the first place. And by that point I was panicking a lot inside and could only hear more about having to pay and i kept just saying “we can’t do that. We can’t afford that” and apparently by that point he was explaining that is what you normally had to do but he would let us off, so I defo looked like I was hiding something when in reality I was literally dying inside. That has traumatised me a wee bit, but as long as I just go with someone else for the rest of my life, I should be fine.

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Anyways, I would talk a bit about boats but like, in summary, they are boring and scary, so there you go. I also feel like I have gone on long enough and I am boring myself. But please comment down below if you liked this and whether you feel the same way or have had another bad experience to tell. Don’t forget to like and follow for even more content like this and to check out my other posts. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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I Am Confusion

Right, can someone please tell me why the FUCK is everyone getting married. Now, I don’t mean people in their 20’s or their 30’s or anything normal like that. But I mean people my fucking age, a teenager, getting married! I mean, I get it. True love and all at shit and meeting the love … Continue reading I Am Confusion

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It’s All About Perspective

Ok guys, we aren’t about to get into some existential shit today because I don’t think I can take that at the moment, but I guess it kinda will be but like to a certain extent, so kinda just be warned about that but lets get started into it. This is another weekly reminder post but I am going to make it around the same vibe as my other posts because I find it hard to… write like I care. That sounds really mean but what I mean by that is that I struggle to not cringe when I try to write a post in an empathetic tone. I know I am disappointing my English teacher at the moment but like I don’t give a shit anyways. So sorry if you prefer reading things that are kinda sad, but I use humor to cope despite the fact my humor is crap so that isn’t the best but like we move. I also don’t know why I am typing all of this because I can guarantee that you don’t give a fuck. But yeah, I feel that when I try to write a post with an empathetic tone, I sound so fake, kinda like all the people in my school. Lets get into it anyways

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I saw this TikTok video yesterday and it was this girl that was replying to a comment that said “how are you so confident” and if I knew who that girl was I would shout her out but I don’t so like deal with it, but anyways, she was so… como se dice… perfect. Like she was a nice confident where she is outgoing but wouldn’t be like “fuck you” to every person who breathes near her. Anyways, that is besides the point, but she literally just said “because nobody fucking cares! In a couple of hundred years everyone on this earth will literally be dead and nobody will remember that thing you said or the clothes you wore or anything because it won’t carry on once we all die”. I mean unless you do something so awful like a proper historical downfall, you shouldn’t change for anyone. Like that person you are changing yourself for is gonna die and so are you so why are you trying to do something for them when eventually it won’t matter at all and you should live the life that you want when you have it.

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I always get a wee bit scared when I talk about doing whatever you want because it won’t mean shit in the future because I always feel people are going to use that as a reason for like killing someone or just doing something awful because “it won’t matter” but like don’t think I am saying that. I don’t want to be responsible for murder, but like you know what I mean. It is the things like caring what other people think about you and stuff like that. Trying to make others happy before yourself and that shit. We are all guilty of doing this and that’s fine because that is what we have learned and it isn’t our fault, but it is also ok because we can fix it, as long as it is for yourself. That is kinda why I like being single at this stage. I mean having someone that actually likes you must be nice, but I like the fact that I am free to fully figure myself out and think about myself as an individual and if a relationship comes from that then it is perfect. But from past experiences I know that having a partner can be kinda restrictive and, at least in my position, I always changed myself to be perfect for him and to not be myself. Maybe if you have a healthy relationship then that is different, but you need to think carefully about who you are with.

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And also, literally if that person remembers it for the rest of their life, maybe they laugh about how you panicked in a school play until the day they die, then that is only one life and you should move on with it because they will die one day and that is it. It won’t become a family tradition to carry on this story. And the embarrassing thing you did, you aren’t the first person to do that. I mean the earth is millions of years old and even in just the past 100 years, there have probably been millions of people that have done the same as you. What you also need to remind yourself is that if someone actually does hang onto that one thing you did ages ago and makes fun of it, they have no fucking life. I mean would a person who actually mattered focus on that thing everyday or would they move on with life and all the opportunities they will come to have. And the people who remember it and therefore have no life, shouldn’t worry you because it doesn’t make you less than them and you know the only reason they remember that is because they have made it their whole personality trait and that is the only bit of information they can actually keep in their pea sized brain.

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So yeah, I hope this boosted your confidence in some way and that you can come to terms with the reality of life and how eventually, just like humans, rumors will die. Stories die and you aren’t weird or dumb for what you did. But yeah, just don’t give a shit and you will be good I guess. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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The Maybe Story

Today I wanted to share a story with you guys that I heard a while back. It is a random story but yet it has a big meaning behind it. So grab a cuppa tea and enjoy. There was this old Chinese farmer who spent all of his days working on his crops, until one … Continue reading The Maybe Story

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To All The TikTokers That Are Fighting Each Other…

Lately, since the whole Logan Paul and KSI fight or whoever it was, all tiktokers and youtubers have literally been fighting for no fucking reason. I mean at the start it was fun you know, like it was new and exciting, like a relationship. But also like a relationship, they get old and you realise the person you are with is quite stupid and irrelevant. You start to realise they are not actually interesting and you only liked them when it was new but now you realise they are not all that they seem. Who the fuck can actually keep up with all the fights going on? Like honestly I feel like I am back in primary school watch two kids flail their arms at each other and crying. Like it is really embarrassing and not the big of a deal. So what you can beat up another guy from the street? That literally doesn’t prove anything other than the fact you have no life so waste all your time training to win some shit contest.

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To be honest though, I have grown to respect Logan Paul more because his brother, Jake Paul, is an actual twat. What the fuck was the whole “gotcha hat” shit. I mean where was the need? What mental health issues do you have to think that people would respect you for that? And then it meant he couldn’t watch his brothers match which he trained a lot for. I mean I still don’t watch Logan Paul because I am not a 10 year old boy, but at least he is more mature. And don’t even get me fucking started on fucking Bryce Hall! Like it frustrates me so much for some reason. He really thinks he is the bees knees and when he literally stuck up his middle fingers at the guy he was going to fight, it literally looked like he was going to shit himself, like literally shit himself. It just bugs me so much how they think people really care that much.

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To be honest, I don’t even know a lot of the people who are fighting and that kinda just shows they are doing it for the publicity. It’s hardly like if Bryce won I would be like “yes, absolute dream boy I love him” because no, he is still a bad person. Like I don’t like him. When will they stop though for real. They aren’t professional and although I respect the determination, why don’t you just handle it some other way other than just making a fool of yourself. Just go back to the dis-tracks because at least those were funny and say what we all were thinking. Nobody cares if you can beat someone up or knock someone down when they are off guard and you look like a target employee, like literally grow up please. And I do know this will really annoy some people, mostly 10 year old kids, but like they are so annoying and it doesn’t get them anywhere. Why don’t they fight a real boxer who isn’t retired instead of either retired boxers, wrestlers or just random influencers. Make it make sense please.

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Do you know what does crack me up about it though? The fact that they really think they are doing something! They really think they are adored and hilarious. Their egos are built up so high that people are beginning to climb up it and put fucking flags at the top. They really don’t need that. They think that whoever can scream the loudest and get their face closest to the camera are elite. They walk around as though they are about to take someones lunch money but I honestly think if they came up to me I could literally flick them and they would explode. End of the world? And at the interview after they act as though they didn’t just beat up a retired or unprofessional man. Like you really didn’t do much. They try to act like the pros as well. Jake Paul really does be trying to be Conor Mcgregor and it could be a comedy skit, no joke. To be fair, the acting is good but it is fucking obvious, so maybe get your own personality for once.

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And just incase Jack Paul, Bryce Hall and whoever is dragged into this shit (apart from KSI and stuff who are actually respectful) reads this and gets worked up about it. I ain’t gonna fight you. Like you are defo gonna come to my house and start something but I don’t give a flying fuck bitch. I kinda hope they do read this though because that would be hilarious in all honesty. Watch them come out with a sad video called “I’m taking a mental health break” as though we are about to fall in love with them.

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Anyways, this was kind of an immature post but I feel like I just needed it off my chest and that other’s will probably relate to it as well, but make sure to like, comment and follow if you enjoyed this and want more comedy content like this. Check out some of my other posts that are a bit different to this one and I will see you again tomorrow with a new post. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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Could I Be Bothered? | Part 4

I feel like a lot of people will understand me when I say that there are things that people can literally just talk about and that makes you feel exhausted or just unmotivated to do that thing despite the fact you aren’t even going to do it but the thought of it is so horrible you want to cry? That is a bit of a weird introduction but you know what I mean, right? Like if someone was like “oh my god do you remember that time you went kayaking for ages and your arms and legs and everything were exhausted and then you had to do a 10K walk afterwards?” By the way, that was targeted at my dad and I am still mentally recovering from it. But whenever I remember that it is as if I get PTSD from it and literally get so scared at the thought that I did that. I don’t really know where I am going with this intro but I am going to stop now and we can start talking about things that make me physically and mentally fed up.

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Camping

Funny Camping Memes 2020 - Run Bryan Run

As a white family, we did some messed up shit. Like that might sound racist but I have seen videos of POC who are like “white people are messed up” and I agree with that because my family just be going outside in the middle of nowhere to shit in a fucking forest and sleep with the bloody insects. We used to do this a lot and I guess it was fun with my friends but like now that I have half a brain and am not made to enjoy things, I really do hate camping. I’m sorry but I just don’t see the point. You gotta pack and carry a bunch of shit and bring in to the middle of nowhere or go to a cramped site with a bunch of kids screaming and people being actually active and going on walks at like 5 in the morning and, while there are toilets, they are so stinking I feel like I contracted 10 diseases just by washing my hands. To be fair, I don’t mind if I set up a tent in my back garden, but if you expect me to bring fucking sleeping bags and a fire starter, I will in fact run away. So I can not be bothered to go camping. I would prefer to look at the stars from the comfort of my bed, looking through the window or standing outside for a sec while the kettle is on thank you very much.

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Small Talk

SMALL TALK MEMES image memes at relatably.com

I’m sorry but we need to normalise going straight to the deep stuff. And that doesn’t mean “what is your star sign” because at that point I would walk away, but I mean instead of being like “the weather is crap today isn’t it lol”, why can’t we just be like “What is your favorite childhood memory”. I know that sounds creepy as fuck and I definitely wouldn’t just go up to someone and say that, but like I hate small talk. It is so cringey and awkward and it very rarely leads to anything. We can hardly go like “yeah the weather is crap, but do you know what else is crap? The cats movie” and then go off on a whole tangent because to me it seems desperate. It is also awkward starting off small talk. I know it is kinda just to fill in the awkward silence but I honestly hate starting a small talk convo because you just be like “sooo… how are you” like what the fuck is that.

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Raising a Child

Memebase - raising kids - All Your Memes In Our Base ...

To be fair, I am a wee bit away from this happening to me… I hope, and my mind will probably change but does it not sound so scary to have to push a fucking human out and then one day they just kick you out of hospital and you and whoever your partner is are just standing like, what the fuck do we do now. This is the start of their fucking life. There isn’t a big change in the world, sparkles and rainbows don’t magically appear. You have to somehow understand what the baby wants by its crying, unless you are one of those people who can somehow communicate with babies or whatever harry potter, 6th sense, fairy-tale shit you have. And I’m really sorry if I am freaking out some pregnant person out there, I am sure you will be great, but like it could not be me. You need to make sure they are fed, they are breathing, they sleep, they shit everywhere, they get bored, they cry, they live. They are a freaking tiny human and you are making up a personality and a life for this baby. It sounds awesome but like what if they turn out like a prick. What if your child is a prick or just really annoying and creepy and now you have a literal annoying person living with you and if you say anything, they turn into rebellious teens and you are just waiting until they turn 18 but that is a long fucking time. But yeah, good luck to all the parents aren’t there. At least society takes most of the blame for how mentally fucked they have become 🙂

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Not Wearing Face Masks

25 Funny Face Mask Memes | The Funny Beaver

Despite the fact a lot of people are so dramatic with face masks and literally complain every second about how they “can’t breathe” or “this is so uncomfortable”, I kinda am going to be screwed when we don’t have to wear them anymore because I do weird things with my mouth when my mask is on. I have a habit of doing that weird awkward smile all the time or just sticking my tongue out a wee tiny bit for absolutely no reason and also making tiny noises, but when I take it off I will have to remember that people can see my face and the weird shit I do with it and sometimes I can be quite expressive so what if in school someone I hate is talking shit and I just look at them with disgust and then see that I am silently judging them! I defo will be exposed but I think I’m ready for it. I don’t know why but I always feel ready to throw hands at an annoying person if I needed to or just talk shit for a straight hour. Maybe if it leads to that, I can get some of my anger out and it will get better, yay! Watch me look at everyone with a rude face and start fights everywhere lmao.

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Working In The Hospital

Funny-Doctors-Medical-Memes | Bored Panda

I was gonna say working as a doctor, but I feel like it doesn’t give the other’s justice because I don’t think I could do any of their jobs. Like, when I was at hospital, the nurses were always so lovely and kind even though they had 10 old people arguing about the TV, 5 kids throwing up, 3 doctors ordering them to do things at a time and a partridge in a pear tree. They really do the most and are still happy but I cry if I burn my toast in the morning. That is a different type of hurt though. I am also watching grey’s anatomy at the moment and, firstly it is awesome, but secondly, what the actual fuck. They just all seem to know everything. This guy could come in and cough once and they would be like “oh my god he has supercalifragilisticfeefifofumI’mgettingrippedtonight. And then they know how to fix it. How do they remember all that! Seriously though can any medical person please say how you know it all instantly and stay calm when you have to save people from near death and you know every detail and name of things. It couldn’t be me. I would get stuck on how to pronounce a word and then not realise my patient is literally having a seizure right next to me. I respect you guys honestly. I also want to know if you actually do literal 48 hour shifts! Is that not literally kinda bad for you and also having to diagnose people. Do you not just cry at every single patient you see. Could not be me but thank you for volunteering as tribute *wistles*

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Anyways, that’s all I can be bothered with today in all honesty. Here’s a bonus. Can I be bothered to do more? No, so yeah. But please do comment below if you have anything else to add, I always love seeing what you have to say, and make sure to like and follow for more. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Weekly Reminder

I don’t know about you guys, but this week has been tough as shit for me. This whole week I have been waiting to post a weekly reminder because there is something I have want to say to you. It’s something that you probably haven’t heard this week, or this month, but I want to … Continue reading Weekly Reminder

Sayings Are Saying Things That Saying Would Be Too Boring To Say

Lol, sorry that title literally gave you a seizure but I thought it would be funny for some reason lol. So yeah, all over the world there are sayings. Things that imply something else. But during my hourly existential crisis, I started thinking about talking and then about what we say and how fucking weird … Continue reading Sayings Are Saying Things That Saying Would Be Too Boring To Say

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And You Did This For What?

I think we all related to this title a bit too much when you first read it. I know that whoever clicked on this was like “this shit about to be good” and it is because I am going to tell you about a few times that I have asked that question in my head and I am pretty sure you will be able to relate to at least a few of these, and if for some reason you don’t, you either don’t have any siblings or you are a foetus and haven’t experienced the world yet. So lets get started shall we.

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Are you in a bad mood?

Donttouchmynewtonballs When You're in a Really Bad Mood ...

This one needs a bit of context but you can probably understand what I mean already. I hate whenever you are just having an overall bad day and you just feel a bit low and can’t be arsed to do anything or act nice all the time and then your parents go ahead and say “why are you in a bad mood”. I don’t know if they don’t understand but it sound so freaking condescending and I wasn’t in a “bad mood”, I was having a bad day and they are not the same thing. Just because we may not be smiling 100% off the time, it doesn’t mean we are a full on annoying teen. To be honest, I get annoyed whenever they mention mood at all. Like if they were like “hows the mood today” and you just look at them like, was it that hard to just say how are you. I don’t know if that is just me but it ruins the already depressing day. Just because I am a teen it doesn’t mean that I am grumpy every time I am quiet. I rest my case bitch.

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Looking at your phone

24 Hilarious Cell Phone Memes

You know when you are sitting next to someone and you are just on your phone cause your bored as fuck and then they have audacity to just watch everything you are doing and they try to fucking hide the fact they are spying on you but like you aren’t dumb so you can tell they are side-eyeing you. Like I don’t know why but it stresses me out so much and I don’t want to do anything because if I look up at them or move my phone so they can’t see it, they get offended. Like bitch you were the one that was spying on me so don’t get offended. I don’t really mind if it is my friends or something because if I am on my phone it is for a particular reason you know, but it just aggravates me. Especially on road trips because I sit in the middle (so my sisters don’t literally kill each other) and they both are able to just stare at my phone. Even though they usually don’t, I am too scared to do anything in case they look over for even a second and then shout something like “DAMN YOUR SNAPCHATS SO DRY!!” or “Why are you playing that. That’s so boring”. That is the point where you just put down your phone and stare at them for a while until you reach the perfect moment to say “shut the fuck up” and then you go back to normal.

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Jumping out

60 Of The Best Sibling Memes Ever | Bored Panda

This one goes out to all the people with siblings who have high blood pressure from the fear that comes with walking past or through a door. It really do be scary because there will also be a 99% chance that someone is going to scare you or throw something at you. It is fun to be fair, if you are the one scaring or throwing something. But I have become very observant in my lifetime because I just scan every sound, movement and light to make sure the coast is clear. Going into my kitchen is the most dangerous place because people can hide at both sides of the door, but if you hide behind the door, I will see you because I look through the crack as I walk by. It is a skill I guess, no biggy lol. And our dog is a big give away too because he just stares at you like an idiot. Another thing is when you are sitting down and you just get the urge to annoy them. It is really weird and can lead to a lot of things. At my stage, we have moved on from attacking the other for what they do and now we kinda just stare at each other like what the fuck just happened. Sometimes, what I like to do is throw a pillow, randomly punch them on the shoulder, leave their door open and then just freestyle it you know. It is quite the fun one, unless they pick to fight back and you get scared that they actually will kill you 🙂

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“Are you…”

When Someone Asks You a Dumb Question at Work What Would ...

The last thing I want to mention today is whenever people state the fucking obvious. Like they state every fucking thing as though they have just become the dumbest people on earth. It literally angers me to just talk about it. And these people pop out of nowhere. I could be walking outside with my dog on the leash and someone would pop out from the fucking sky and be like “are you taking the dog on a walk” and you just stare at them like “no, I’m leaving the dog outside to die” Like what the fuck does it look like I’m doing. Or when you sit in a room watching the TV and they come in and are like “oh, are you watching something” and you look at them like “no actually, I am fucking blind. Can you tell me where I am?”. They literally ask the most ridiculous things too. I am sure that one of these type of people has just risen up from the depths of hell and asked “are you breathing” and then went back down laughing evilly, leaving the other person on the floor crying with anger. I can picture it now. Can people seriously not just connect the dots, it isn’t that hard bitch.

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Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed that and you related to a few of them. You have to admit though, you have been through at least 2 of these. Comment down below if you have and also feel free to tell me what you get annoyed by and I might mention you in my next post. Don’t forget to like, follow and comment if you liked this content and I will be sure to make more like this. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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I Need Your Help

Hi, if you don’t know me, I am a straight white teenage girl with no disabilities and just a mental health problem. What does that mean? That means that the only discrimination I have faced is being a woman. Now, there has been problems with sexism at the moment, but over all I have got … Continue reading I Need Your Help

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Going Back To “Normal”

Hey guys, so I haven’t really posted on here in a wee bit but like life happens so deal with it. Anyways, I guess I just wanted to just talk about how today I am kind of transitioning back into a normal, pre-covid, life. And what is it that I am doing you might ask? Well, I am going to be going back to Ju-Jitsu for the first time in forever which is kind of fun but at this point I don’t even know if I am interested in going and that could be because it has been a while or it could also be my mental state lol. A large portion of it is also not being able to body slam people and knock the shit out of them. You don’t really do that in Ju-Jitsu anyways, but like I did karate before and there were fights that you could do and it was actually quite fun. I think the only reason I stopped that was because it was becoming very serious for me and they wanted to put me in world championships and that shit but I am quite a home-bird and also that was around the time I started first year and my mental health was… declining. So yeah, in another world you could have been watching me knock the shit out of someone on the Olympics, but that would be women’s sports so I guess it isn’t that big. LOL THAT WAS A JOKE I SWEAR. I AM A WOMAN AND JUST MAKING FUN OF THE FACT MEN THINK WOMEN’S SPORTS IS BORING.

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But yeah, I think I tried 4 different martial arts classes in my lifetime. I also swear that when I first asked my parent’s if I could start karate I thought I was making up a word but I must have heard it from someone subconsciously and I was so freaked out when they said “sure”. I’m not sure if that was a mistake or not but I did ballet before and that was not my cuppa tea lets just say. I have a really embarrassing story from ballet but I don’t think I will ever tell you what it is. So I don’t know why I just told you that if I am not even going to tell the story lol but yeah it was embarrassing. Do you know what is funny though, and my English teacher would literally eat this up, is that I started my ‘martial arts journey’ in the leisure center and the 4th that I am in now is at the same leisure center! Cyclical structure?! I hate how I thought of that. LETS ANALYZE IT! no. I never have to do that again and I am thankful for that everyday.

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You probably aren’t wondering, but I am going to tell you, why I left each of the classes. They are pretty good stories actually so lets get started

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  1. The first place I went to was at the leisure center and it was for karate. My friend at the time went their too and I was like wow this is so fun. Except for when the grading part came (if you don’t know, this is how you go up the belts). The man that was their was so fucking creepy and there were so many people I didn’t know and the building that it was in was so sketchy and like had the worst vibes. I think a lot of my anxieties formed there. So that was one reason, and literally gave me PTSD to think about, but the other reason was because it was a small class and literally took fucking ages to move up just one belt. I think that for moving up each belt you had to do 2 gradings and then when you got to the higher belts you had to do 4 to get to the next belt. I know the black belt takes a while but like the fucking rest of them!? There was no need. So I left
  2. The second place I went to was probably one of my favorites because the people their were nice, I moved up pretty quickly because, ya know, I was a pro and all that. I stayed there a while and only left because high school really messed me up. I remember one time I literally cried when I was doing one of my gradings because I was so stressed out about everything. It was in a nice hall this time but like was still far from home and different to usual and really just set a bad vibe for the rest of the day. I liked this one a lot because they were obviously serious about it and actually did fighting and shit. There were competitions I went to and did well at and I nearly got to my brown belt I think, but I still remember the last day I went there and I was literally holding back tears and then when I got back to the car my mum was like “what’s wrong” and you know that hits different when you have been holding back tears the whole time, so then I quit. Little did I know that was only the fucking start lmao. High school was not good for me, let me tell you that. But I actually enjoyed it and fully miss it.
  3. The third place was BY FAR the worst of them all. I remember going to it and it was a fucking joke. I should have known from their logo and their fucking clown gees. It was new and my mum was like you need to go because you are good at martial arts and I was like fine and I actually hated it with a passion. They made it seem like they were so cool but they pretty much made up their own fucking martial art. These people spent 30 minutes of the 45 minutes doing warm ups and then the last 15 minutes I was having to work my way through literal fetuses doing random ass moves. They had a fucking grey belt! I might as well leave it there. They fully made up a belt and thought they were doing something. Like bitch just stop. And they would have all these literal weapons that looked like they were from an unrealistic ninja movie. I stayed there way too long and it was honestly embarrassing. People literally send their kids there and think they are gonna become a pro fighter but no, they are just gonna become a joke. So I left that place
  4. The forth place. The place I am at now. The place that I like despite a few different complications. The people there, to start, are mainly nice, but there are a select few who I… dislike strongly and would happily knock out. I am on my purple belt actually so have been there a while. The people are nice and, unlike the third place, they are official and not a joke. I am starting back today and the only reason I am not looking forward to it is that you aren’t even allowed to throw people so there quite literally will be nothing to do, but it’s fine. There are other reasons too but I think I have insulted my peers enough today.
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Anyways, that is all I can be bothered to talk about today. Lets hope it all goes well and I can control my emotions well enough. I am also not very fit after all that time off so literally watch me get the reddest face ever lmao. Are you guys starting anything normal at the moment or are a lot of your hobbies still closed? Leave your answer in the comment section below, I would love to hear what you are doing. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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Do You Know What’s Weird? Languages

Me, personally, I love languages. I don’t know what it is about them but I find them so interesting because the whole world has different ways of communicating and it makes sense to people despite the fact we have absolutely no clue what they are talking about. To be fair I only know Spanish and English but still. I mean I wish I had the time or the motivation to learn more because it is so awesome, but there are also times where I just think to myself “what the fuck”.

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There was a time where there were no languages and then the next day they were just like “ok we need to come up with a way to communicate that everyone will understand” but how did they say that to each other? How did they talk about starting this and using their voices to make words. And I know that a lot of modern languages came from Latin or some shit but how did Latin come around, and if we know what that came from then how did that other language start? There was once just a person that was like ok we need to do this but how the hell. And they were the ones to create the best invention in the world because now we can communicate and thrive.

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This might sound a bit stupid but, being the dumb child I was, when I would ask how Spanish people would understand what other people were saying when speaking Spanish, my mum would say “well it’s just their language so they understand it like we do with English” and for some utter shit reason, I thought that meant that they would translate what they said into English and then translate their response back into the language they spoke and then I would be so confused as to why they couldn’t understand us when they have to translate everything into English to understand it. Obviously, I have changed now and actually love languages but how fucking dumb was that. Literally, me thinking that everything revolves around English which is actually kind of does and I feel privileged to be a fluent English speaker, but I was innocent as fuck back then.

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That kind of leads me to my next point. Why have we chosen a ‘superior language’? How did we just decide that it would be English? Now, I know that English isn’t the world’s most spoken first language but like pretty much all countries, I think, kind of make you learn English in school as if you wouldn’t succeed without it. I know that I learn languages but it isn’t as stressed as what I would think learning English would be. And English is a fucking hard language. In never fully appreciated how hard it was until a couple of years ago because before I was like “well we don’t even have an accents on our words so it isn’t even that hard” but then I realised that words are spelled and pronounced so differently that it is just ridiculous. I mean who the fuck decided there would be silent letters. Like Pterodactyl. What the fuck is that? Honestly. And then there are the rules like “I before e except after c” but then there are still words that go against that. Honestly, I would give up if I had to learn it. Wait!!! I just remembered one of the most ridiculous words in the English dictionary. Queue. This has to be a joke. You can not tell me that the only letter you pronounce is the very first one while the others are just there for show. Like how the hell is that real. As a person of the English language, I would like to formally apologize for this and I hope this hasn’t fully destroyed your love for languages.

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Are there just people who come up with languages though. That’s the thing. And how long did it take for the first speakers to start a language because I mean damn, I can barely speak the language I have known my whole life. Props to them I suppose but I only have one more question for you. Were you on literal drugs when you came up with it because god damn this shit is crazy. But yeah, I suppose that is my questions over for now about how weird languages are. I still love them to be fair but like, they are freaking weird. If anyone is reading this and has had to learn English as a second language, please comment down below and tell us what it was like to you and what other things still confuse and shock you to this day because I am sure there are many. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Could I Be Bothered? #2

So as a teen going through corona, my list of things I am not bothered to do has pretty much tripled within the fast week, and I’m not angry about. You could blame it on my mental health but you can’t blame it on something that doesn’t even exist any more. So I’m just gonna … Continue reading Could I Be Bothered? #2

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Job Update (It Do Be Like That Sometimes)

So guys, I didn’t get the job, but I mean it’s fine. Honestly, like it’s fine. This was my first ever one to be fair so if I was expecting results, I would be a bit dumb you know. The truth is though, I don’t know what I would have done if I did get the job. The guy would ring me and be like “hey you got the job” and then I would be like “that’s great thank you” and then it would be an awkward pause just with me on the other line like what the fuck now. And if I got the job I would most definitely be like “well fuck. I don’t actually want to work though”. People always say to look at the positives, so in this situation that is that I have an excuse to do nothing. I guess I will have to look for more work in the mean time, but like doe now I can be like “damn, I wish I could be walking back and forth between Karen’s and a boiling kitchen with heavy plates and 0 hour of sleep. I guess I will just relax and be sad about it”.

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For me, I am the type of person whose social battery can go from 100 to 0 in a second. I’m basically an iPhone battery bitch cause it changes real quick. So imagine what I would be like if I had to be crazy happy for a bit and then all of a sudden I crashed. No tip for me I guess. This would literally be me… “Hi, My name is Ally and I am going to be your server today! What can I get for you guys 🙂 Ok, so that’s 2 burg… *crashes on ground, rolls into ball, sleeps*” and the customers are like “we’ll have chips with that too”. It would be a laugh but like everyone would think I am some sort of quirky emo.

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I guess I don’t feel too bad that I didn’t get the job because literally half of the people my age applied for it. I wonder how many got it though? Lol, everyone but me. Imagine. I could never step foot in that restaurant again, not like I go there anyways but still, I would keep my distance. The thing is though, I thought the interview went quite well. Me and the guy were kinda hitting it off, in the non-relationship way, as in we chatted. We had things in common and a bit of banter you know. Toxic friendship I suppose. Nrs only real ones know. But no, he actually didn’t really ask that many questions. Maybe that was a red flag that he already found the good ones and didn’t give a shit anymore. Do you guys want a re-inaction of what the thing was like, with a bit of a twist and my inner commentary. No? Shut up, Imma do it anyways.

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So I walked in, already sweating like a pig, and the restaurant was kind of empty but like there were a few people working there. I saw one girl and she was like “just wait there for a second” and I was like ok but I don’t want a fucking seat, I want to take your fucking job, but then another waitress was like “is everything ok” and I was like “no actually, life is pretty tough at the moment beca…”, “no I meant can I help you” and then I said I was here for an interview and I sat down for a bit at a random table which was kind of awkward because it was a reserved table and I didn’t know if that was for me or if a family would walk in and just see this random sweaty girl on their seat. Oh, I would also like to clear up that the whole “is everything ok” bit from above was a joke, I didn’t do that lol. Just making sure :/ But I was just there looking awkward as fuck because I didn’t want to go on my phone because the guy defo would have come and said no right on the spot for being a lazy hoe, so I just starred into nowhere as I sat and waited for 10 mins with my CV in my dripping, shaking hand. Then the guy came and I went from 0 to 100 real fast. Like, my waitress mode was turned on to maximum bitch.

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Oh my god, this part is so embarrassing, but when we were going to the table he was saying “the hand sanitizer is there but be careful when you press down because it can squirt out a bit” and I was like ok, there is no way I could mess this up, we are fine. The thing is, I thought it just meant it splattered a bit, but no. This bitch FLEW. Like I had my hand over it a bit to catch any spray, but this hoe went right over it. And I looked so dumb, but I don’t know if he saw. Like he just told me to be careful and then I went ahead and got it everywhere anyways. I was near wetting myself because it still was kinda funny to be honest. It really defied the laws of gravity. I really don’t know how it did that you know. Maybe that was the first test and he realised I was an absolute idiot so he just decided on the spot.

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There is more to the story really, but it isn’t even that funny or important, I just basically acted over enthusiastically and agreed to what he said. I also can’t be bothered to type the rest because I am quite the tired one today, but I will post tomorrow hopefully so don’t forget to subscribe, like and comment so that I can make this my job instead. Show that bottle of hand sanitizer that I am the shit. But yeah, I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Check out more posts

Weekly Reminder

Hey guys, another week has gone by and for a lot of us, we may be going back to school next week. Well, I am anyways. I have a total of 18 exams in the next 5 weeks, all which goes towards my GCSEs (aka decides my future) so to say I am scared would … Continue reading Weekly Reminder

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My Honest Interview Answers

Hi guys, so as some of you will already know, I have my first ever interview tomorrow. And I am shitting it to say the least. It has caused me to have many a breakdown and freaking out about what I should say about the generic questions and whether or not I would end up completely fucking it up because I accidentally tell the truth. I mean you do kinda have to make white lies in an interview or to slightly bend the truth, but to get all the thoughts about saying something wrong our of my head, I am gonna spill them here and if the interview guy is reading this, it is all a joke :/

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Tell me about yourself

I’m a chronically awkward bitch who likes to people please and in the event of a customer or staff members slight change in tone, I will have a breakdown. But that doesn’t mean I won’t throw hands if a Karen act’s up. I can remember stuff kind of well but if there is a silence for even 1 millisecond, my face will light up bright red. I can get overwhelmed but that isn’t knew to me. I have a twin and an older sister, one of which I am pretty sure has anger issues and the other is alright I guess but I am always the peace maker between them and that means I have to sit in the middle of the car. I would count that as one of my trauma’s. I can either be very energetic, or I won’t be able to move a muscle. If you hire me, I may or may not be the most awkward person you will meet until you get to know me. Then you will realise I am a ‘unique’ person.

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Why do you want this job?

I don’t. To tell you the truth like. I mean I will get paid though won’t I? That is literally the only reason I am here right now but even if I get hired, I might just leave because I think everyone hates me. I guess I also want tips, as in cash, not like training or anything like that. Although if you have any tips on how to enjoy life, that would be great. I also kinda need this job because it is the socially acceptable age to get a job like this and if I don’t get one I will be broke and also judged, so not too different from now, but like I want to keep it at the same level

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What is your biggest weakness?

ahhaha, I think the easier question would be “what isn’t your biggest weakness” because we could be here for days. But let’s see… hmm… oooh this ones my favorite. You see, I do this thing where I feel as though I don’t belong here and that everyone hates me and wishes I wasn’t there. Also, I sometimes speak really fast or slur my words and I also can’t write that fast or that well, so the cooks might have a bit of a problem with that. I also don’t take criticism well so if I do something wrong, I may or may not cry or never speak ever again. I also have a tendency to not make friends because I think they all hate me, think I am weird, don’t want me there and I also am very much awful at small talk. Do you want anymore?

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Why should we pick you?

I have no clue bitch, but if you need a reason not to pick me, ask my ex because he seemed to have a lot of reasons to treat me like shit. Also, if you do pick me, I will think that you did that by accident and that the other people who didn’t get it now hate me. Also I will panic a lot and although I will work very hard, I will be shaking so much that I don’t think I could carry out any plates or drinks. I also can’t do math all that well if I don’t have a calculator. And if you don’t hire me, I don’t think I can ever go back here again because I will be highly embarrassed so you would loose a customer as well

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Tell me about a time you have been in a stressful situation?

Oh, so my life story? Ok, well it all started the day I was born… 5 hours later… and here I am pissing myself because I realised that I just told you every single memory I have and you guys have actually left I just realised so now I am talking to a wall. Oh, and the lights just turned off so I guess I am the last one here. Why am I still talking to myself?

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Do you have any questions you would like to ask us?

Yes actually. What am I applying for again?

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Anyways, thank you guys for reading this post, I hope you enjoyed it. It was kind of a piss take but like that is honestly what I would say. Wish me luck for my interview and hopefully I don’t say anything like I just did above. Tell me about what your first interview was like. Did you make any mistakes, or panic or any more bad experiences? Write them in the comment section below. I can’t wait to read them. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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The Audacity

Hey guys, so if you have read my blog before, you will know that I have a twin sister. We have pretty much the same friend group but there are a few people that she would be more friendly with than me because… well, I’m a socially awkward kinda bitch. But the reason the title of this post is “the audacity” is because she went out with one of her friends and I realised, she has a life away from me. That cheeky bitch.

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Was that time we spent together in the womb not enough for her?! I mean how can she function and survive away from me. It just isn’t allowed. I mean if they asked me if I wanted to go out, would I say yes? Probably not because I am starting this thing called “slowly growing apart from others until I have no friends and eventually be in the elite level of depression”. It isn’t funny. I highly don’t recommend but I can’t go back now lol. I really can but that is besides the point. I then realised that my older sister and my mum and my dad have a life. They are not just characters that only live for my life. They have friends, a personality, they must be nice if people actually want to be around them. People see them as a friend or a co-worker and not as a parent or a sister. And sometimes you just gotta take a moment to realise all that and kind of understand the… what’s the word… the audacity. Even you, the person reading this, has a life. You are somewhere in the world doing something, maybe you are on a train, you are on a plane, you just woke up from a nap, maybe you are having lunch. I don’t even know! But you have a whole freaking life and by some miracle you are reading my own freaking post and I don’t know how low your day has got to get to reading this shit of a post, but hey, thanks I suppose.

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Do you know what else makes me go “the audacity of that bitch” is whenever you are walking and a person that clearly sees you doesn’t move out of the way even a bit when the are taking up the whole path. Let me tell you a few stories about a couple of those times. So it was last Christmas. I was walking my dog as you do, and this kid, an obvious prick, was on his bike around his street. I was on the footpath and he was on the road and I was walking, minding my own business. There were no cars around or nothing. Just me on the footpath and him on the road. And guess what this idiot decides to do. He looks me straight in the eye, goes onto the foot path and cycles right into me. He nearly fucking hit my dog and I wouldn’t give as much of a shit if he hit me, but if he hit my dog, lets just say I would be on Santa’s naughty list and he would be on the ground. He is defo gonna be a chav when he grows up. I just glared and was just thinking that he is gonna be a prick to some poor person in the future. He is gonna be so mean to whoever he is around and I hope to fuck it ain’t me. Next time I plan to just stop and let him move out of the way first because ladies first bitch!

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Another time something like this happened was literally last week and again I was walking my dog and it was in a forest park so the paths are a fine size, but there isn’t much space to go off the path if you needed to. So I was walking and this man and his wife we walking towards me. They dead-ass looked me in the eyes, they fucking saw me, and I moved to the side a bit to be polite because I know there is still the whole “respect your elders” bullshit, but I couldn’t move much further so I expected them to at least move to the side a bit, especially with the pandemilevato. But guess what, they don’t move an inch. Not a fucking millimetre and here I was looking like an actual ass because I had to turn into a fucking leaf just to not bump into them. And you may say they didn’t have enough room or they didn’t see me. But they looked right at me, they could have gone one behind the other or moved over a bit, and they did the same thing again. I am going to make a pact with you guys though, and you have to try and do the same. Next time you see that someone is going to do something similar to you, don’t move. Stand your ground and then if the people turn around and be like “your rude” or “why did you hit into me” just say “because I haven’t got no more fucks to give”. I mean quite obviously, don’t do this to a car or if you yourself are in a car because I don’t want to be charged for being the cause of a murder.

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Reading through this post, the vibes changed quite quickly didn’t they, but I think that was a pretty relatable one if I say so myself. But anyways, don’t forget to like, follow and comment if you enjoyed that content. Make sure you check out some of my other posts as well because, not to toot my own horn, but some are pretty good. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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Weekly Reminder

Hey guys, so I just wanted to say well done for getting through this week. I am sure there has been a pile of new challenges for all of you guys but the fact you are here to read this is amazing. I also kind of just wanted to make a point of saying thank … Continue reading Weekly Reminder

Who Am I?

No I am not about to do a proper “face reveal”. I am talking about the fact that as a teenager we are expected to understand who we are and what we want to do for the rest of our lives, yet, the fact is, nobody has any fucking clue. And that’s ok I always … Continue reading Who Am I?

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