I’m not above a fight

See, I don’t really like it when people are cheeky to me. I mean you can be upfront and shout at me and I’ll be fine with that. My sisters have conditioned me to that. But if you are being passive aggressive or cheeky in front of me or behind my back, I won’t hesitate to fight.

No this isn’t coming out of the blue guys, but something I did yesterday kinda got my blood boiling if you get me. Anyways, here I was at my friend’s house for moral support because I was about to call my work and be like “hey girl so for medical and educational reasons I’m not gonna be able to work more than 8 hours a week but obviously I can work more on holidays thanks”, and here my manager does the longest sigh ever, literally I could almost smell her stinking breathe it was that loud, and I was like shit what is about to happen. Then this bitch really stops the sigh and goes “that’s not really helpful for us”

😮 Did I ask?! No I think the fuck I didn’t so why the hell did you have to say that. Would you prefer I didn’t work any hours? Do you want me to quit because I’ll be more than happy to get out of this bitch. Like I actually don’t even like work. When I tell you I was shocked, I mean I was back-from-war-tazer-in-the-back shocked. I still am at the moment tbh.

But anyways, after that, I paused because I was in denial at that stage or something and then I was just like “Ummm well… It’s for medical reasons as well” because my doctor told me to say that so she legally couldn’t fire me for it (I also wouldn’t care if she did because then id use and never have to work again, I’m not too proud to miss that opportunity bitch) and here she was acting all nice again, miss cheeky bitch tryna get on my good side again. Like I actually have to go to work with her today and if she comes up to me and starts talking shit, I will happily throw hands. I mean I’m terrified of her too, let’s not get ahead of ourselves, but she barely knows me and doesn’t know how hard I can hit. BTW this is a joke don’t be calling the police

Anyways yeah that happened and it really made me realise how much I HATE, despise, loath, work. Do I get paid minimum wages to only get a 20 min break during illegal hours?! I think the fuck not. Like I have enough money saved to get my ass out of that hoe and I only stay cause I want my parents to be proud of me lol. But you have to admit what she said was petty uncalled for. Like it was not necessary. I actually despise the working world and it sucks the little bit of life and dignity inside of me.

So what do you guys reckon I should do? Quit or just realise that this is life. Also if anyone is like a law person, is there any way I could use for doing illegal hours with only a 20 minute break. I mean that would be ideal lol. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Train wreck of thought

I haven’t posted in a while, obviously, and I ain’t gonna explain why because it’s more boring than you think. It’s not like I went on a fucking trip to the Bahamas despite the fact I hope to go there some day if corona ever goes away. But anyways, a lot has happened like me … Continue reading Train wreck of thought

Makeup and Me

First of all, to the people who are in the comments right now saying “It’s makeup and I, not makeup and me” literally take you Hermione Granger ass outside or “I” will personally make Jeff Bezos land his fucking dick rocket on you. I mean would you slate Marley and Me for the grammar issue? … Continue reading Makeup and Me

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Makeup and Me

First of all, to the people who are in the comments right now saying “It’s makeup and I, not makeup and me” literally take you Hermione Granger ass outside or “I” will personally make Jeff Bezos land his fucking dick rocket on you. I mean would you slate Marley and Me for the grammar issue? I hope the fuck not so just back off Karen. But yeah, lets talk about how I attempt makeup all the time and it never looks good. Like whoever said that practise makes perfect, was an ignorant bitch.

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So why am I bringing up this topic? It’s relevant but also out of the blue so like what is the problem? Well, basically I was getting ready for a party and I was putting on some makeup, as one does. And then for some reason I had the bright idea that I might use eyeliner for the 2nd time in my life. Now saying it is the 2nd time makes it a bit anticlimactic, but the first time was a shit show and it was ages afterwards so like I couldn’t have learned from my mistakes. But yeah, as you can tell, the eyeliner didn’t go well and for some reason I have good eyeliner and this hoe wasn’t coming of for nobody so while I managed to improve it, I was still looking like a raccoon. Not ideal as you could imagine. But like out of the two times I felt the motivation to give it a go, they were both when I was running out of time and going somewhere I want to look good. Like it was not ok. I don’t know why when I am rushing I just think that a bit of adventure would be fun. This is coming from the person who needs a fucking fan group to get enough motivation to brush my teeth. Like make it make sense.

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Moving on… I also have to say that I don’t do makeup for just me. No, I don’t do it for the guys. I’m not that kinda bitch. I do it for everyone. Out of the kindness of my heart. Because I know for a fact that if you caught me without my eyebrows or mascara or concealer, it would be like you were in the conjuring or some shit. Like I look scary. I am pale as fuck, I have under eyes as dark as night and my eyebrows are just out of the question. It is not a pretty sight, trust me. I remember when I was younger and woke up at night and had a sore stomache so I would go tell my mum and when I opened the door my mum would jump out of her skin. I look like a fucking ghost and I have to live with that. Sure they say I just snuck up on them, but I know how I look. A creepy child in her pjs, half asleep, dark eyes, puffy hair and a teddy in my hand while I’m slightly hunched over cause of my sore stomache and then I have the high ass voice. I would have karate chopped my ass if I was my mum.

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I remember I was quite late to the game of makeup. I was a tomboy for WAYYYY too long and it really was something else. But that meant I thought I was “not like the other girls”. But when I grew up, I inevitably became insecure and was like “shit”. So I don’t know much about makeup except that I have to use the lightest shade and that unless the makeup proper burns your skin, out of date makeup is fine. I really can’t be arsed to learn anything about it though because I am a perfectionist, and I have the cheapest makeup, so when mine wouldn’t turn out like the one in the video, I would lock myself in my room for a week. Like I don’t have the patience for that. And also the videos are boring as fuck. Especially when you realise most of them are either pedos or bad people *cough* James Charles *cough* Jeffrey Star *cough*. I respect the talent that makeup artists have, but I really can’t be bothered watching your videos. But hey, I keep you in a business because I pay you to do my makeup. Not that I ever have got my makeup done before but I’m sure I will in the future.

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I do feel fancy as fuck though whenever I watch like a 5 second clip on tiktok of how she uses a concealer brush instead of a beauty blender because I look like I know what I am doing, and those moments are fun, but also short lived because I don’t think I do it right or just takes too long. I only just started like plucking and dying my eyebrows and shit and too be honest, I have been complimented about them, but I feel like such a pro even if I just brush them up. It isn’t that big of a deal dammnnnnn.

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Anyway, I kinda want to be finished on this post now because I am just rambling at this point, so I guess I’ll see you when I see you. I’ll try to do it everyday but you know how it is. Just can’t be arsed or have something else to do. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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I’m not above a fight

See, I don’t really like it when people are cheeky to me. I mean you can be upfront and shout at me and I’ll be fine with that. My sisters have conditioned me to that. But if you are being passive aggressive or cheeky in front of me or behind my back, I won’t hesitate … Continue reading I’m not above a fight

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I Hate Genes

To any foetus child out there who is like what the fuck are genes, basically they are the characteristics that we get from our parents and they make up who we are and what we look like. For example, I inherited my dad’s white ass Irish skin which burns like a bitch whenever a bloody tea light goes within 1 mile of it. So it’s not ideal. I also inherited his lack of eyebrows which shocked me, but you couldn’t tell because you couldn’t see my eyebrows expressions. I slightly blame my twin for that because, although it is probably scientifically impossible, I believe she robbed them from me in the womb. Unfortunately that doesn’t stand well in court so I never got back what is rightfully mine smh

I do have blonde hair which really is the only thing going for me but it is going darker and I resent that but it is what it is. Oh and I forgot to mention, I swear my twin stole my teeth because I have two missing and she’s a bit sus if you ask me. She isn’t little miss perfect after all. When she dies I swear I’ll find a long note releasing the truth. I don’t know why she would do it but like it meant that for 13 years of my life I looked like your crazy young cousin whose only personality trate is losing their teeth. And now I have fake teeth that I sometimes think will fall out. IM FUCKING 16 YEARS OLD YET I’LL LITERALLY HAVE FAKE TEETH DRILLED IN MY MOUTH AT 18. I remember one time when I had to put my fake teeth in my retainers and one day I forgot them for some dumb fucking reason and I was like dad we need to turn back and he was like no. The trauma this man caused right then was astronomical but he didn’t give a shit. I kid you not, I had to spend that whole day trying not to smile with my teeth or talk to anyone but then in one of my classes I forgot and smiled at someone and they looked at me like what the fuck and then was like “where have your teeth gone”. Keep in mind I was 13-14 so all my teeth should have fallen out and grown back so it was weird. I also regret this moment because I could have pranked them so easily by acting scared and going “oh my god where the hell did they go” but no I had to really say “I forgot them at home”. I FORGOT THEM AT HOME! What the actual fuck. No teen should have to say that they left their teeth at home. I am still recovering from that chat.

But back to what I wanted to talk about today. My pale ass skin. I kid you not, I only have two different options. White as fuck or red as fuck. Yesterday I thought I would switch it up a bit so I got burnt to a crisp. I regret it. Why do I never learn. I literally thought I could wish my way into going tan but instead I look like a fucking stop sign. It was dumb how it happened though because I must have forgotten to put suncream on like half of my legs and I didn’t realize. Like I knew my attention span was shit but I thought I could at least pay attention to this. So I had work after and I was basically cooking the meals on my legs cause they were burning so much and then when I took them off later I thought I was turning into Elmo because those bitches were RED. I basically bathed them in aloe Vera and cried because I am now currently on the way to a beach where the general public are and they can see my bright ass legs. Everyone also seems to have to point them out. Like just when I stop thinking about it someone needs to pop out from the sky and go “OH MY GOD” literally like Janice from friends “YOU ARE GLOWING” and I look at them like no shit Sherlock. I didn’t realize that my legs could double as a flare to attract planes and a heater to toast our sandwiches. Leave me and my burns alone. And of course my twin fans. That cheeky bitch. How did I get the pale skin, invisible eyebrows, missing teeth AND the mental illness 😮

Anyways that is the post and I’m glad to get that off my chest. Please feel free to comment some things you inherited from your parents or whether you relate to some of the things I have. Have fun in the sun and don’t forget suncream bitches. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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The “Magical” Transformation That Happens When You Combine Two Of The Best Brain Reprogramming Technologies

You’ve heard of NLP?

It’s almost cultish.

It stands for neuro-linguistic programming and it’s like someone had taken the best out of all forms of psychotherapy, threw them in a blender and created NLP.

If you don’t get what I’m saying, NLP is two things.

First, it is a way of thinking. It’s a framework for how to approach your life to be more effective. It’s like a philosophy of life based on understanding how your brain functions.

Second, it is a psycho-therapy tool. It’s used to treat phobias and to change beliefs in patients. Some consider it as effective as CBT (cognitive-behavioral therapy) and most say it’s a lot faster than the Freudian school of thought.

Why?

Because at the core of NLP lies hypno-therapy. To be more specific, the “behavioral changing” part of NLP is built on the teachings of Milton Erickson, one if not the most famous hypnotherapists of all times. And you know what hypno-therapy does?

It’s an access, a hack, to your subconscious mind

Let me give you this analogy. Imagine your mind being like a computer. Your conscious mind is accessing programs, turning it on and off and so on. Normal user access. Your subconscious mind is like going into the settings, installing applications, deleting them, adding new users and so on.

It’s the “engine” or the “back room” that controls everything.

Well, NLP is like a hacker that can break the password of your subconscious mind and change there. It allows you to change beliefs and to change who you are, as a person, to your core. It goes to those deep thoughts and ideas you don’t even know you have and makes you act differently by tweaking your basic concepts of self.

It hijacks your subconscious mind, and it does it very well.

And with the use of NLP you can eliminate phobias, you can change basic preferences (as not liking chocolate anymore) or you can even cure wounds from the past, as those from childhood. It’s effective. It works well, and it’s endorsed by some of the best-known authors in the world. Tony Robbins built his career and success on NLP and if you run a survey amongst successful people, you’ll see that many of them are NLP practitioners or masters.

You can’t mess with what works.

So why am I telling you this?

If NLP is like a hacker that tweaks your subconscious mind so you can become the person you want to be, if NLP is like a design tool that allows you to redesign who you are, then brainwave entrainment is a tool that makes it faster and easier.

If NLP is the thief that breaks the lock-pick, then the use of brainwave entrainment with it is like having the best lock-pick in the world, making the process effortlessly.

And what does this mean for you?

It’s simple.

Use them both. Use the amazing power of NLP to change beliefs and self-identity concepts and use the power of brainwave entrainment to help your subconscious mind be receptive and open. Open the door with brainwave syncing and change the furniture with NLP.

A simple way to understand this is music.

Think about it and how easy it has the power to change you. You listen to a song and you’re not even paying attention to the lyrics. And yet, if it’s a sad song, you become sad. If it’s a lively song, it boosts your energy. If you listen it many times, you end up thinking like in the song.

Music is a great example of a tool that accesses your subconscious mind without even realizing. You turn on YouTube and through repetition and emotion, you end up being one with the music.

Have you tried reading a book you had no interest in reading? Maybe for college or work?

You read the words; they are verbalized in your mind but you end up forgetting everything. They “enter one year and exit another”. This is because your subconscious mind is as closed as it gets and learning can not happen in your conscious dimension.

This is why I use NLP in all my tools.

Brainwave entrainment is amazing for helping your mind operate at that higher frequency. They’re like Vitamin C for your life, making everything better. And if you use brainwave entrainment, this is enough to attract, to manifest good things in your life because you’ll be operating at a higher level.

However…

True, lasting change comes not by attracting things in our lives but by changing who we are so those things become a natural order. It’s when we change our beliefs and ideas so we transform into people for whom success and happiness are two natural things.

And this is where NLP works so well. It works for everything from curing phobias of spiders to getting past PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) to program you to be more confident in front of a crowd or to be more assertive with your coworkers.

This is because while short-term wins are great – if you want a successful life, you must become the person who is naturally successful. And the only difference between you and a successful person is that the other one developed the beliefs and identity of such a person. If you develop them too, there’s nothing stopping you from doing just.

I build my program “Manifestation Magic” around NLP.

Each audio contains hidden embedded commands that reprogram your subconscious mind. Like a good hacker, brainwave syncing is opening the path to your subconscious mind while NLP commands are transforming who you are into the best version you could ever be.

These are called “NLP patterns” and they’re designed to be as easy to receive by the subconscious mind as possible. I do this through a combination of pacing, intonation and wording so your mind can accept them as commands, as truth, without getting defensive. It’s like music, just so much more powerful.

Basically, an NLP pattern is what a hypno-therapist would tell you to put you into a trance. It is highly suggestive language that bypasses your rational filters to reach where it matters most, your subconscious mind.

NLP plus brainwave entrainment is like having a hacker change your mind. NLP alone can access your subconscious thoughts but when paired with brainwave entrainment, the results are mind blowing. You can see a real change in days when all other methods you’ve tried for a long time like therapy failed.

This is the secret behind “Manifestation Magic”.

This is why it works. It works because instead of just using brainwave entrainment to help you operate at a higher frequency, at a higher vibration, it also changes who you are at your core. The result is a total personal transformation into the person you’ve always wanted to be but never known how.

Click on the link below to discover more about how “Manifestation Magic” can help you.

>>Get Manifestation Magic Now<<

How to Learn to Sing!

Have you always wanted to become a singer? Many people dream of singing, but few take the steps required to learn. Here are some quick tips that will teach you how to learn singing, on your own or with assistance:

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How to Learn Singing – Before You Begin

Before you begin, listen to a lot of different songs in many genres. This will help you settle on a style that best suits your voice and personality. Do you want to sing rock music? Opera? Maybe country and western or rhythm and blues suits your style best.

Next, start practicing to find your natural vocal range. Sing a note that you can comfortably hit. Then sing progressively higher notes until your sound quality decreases. Go back to the first note and then sing down the scale to find the bottom of your range.

This is an informal exercise, but it will help you get an idea of which notes you can comfortably sing, and which ones you need to work on.

How to Learn Singing – Self-Study

Many vocalists teach themselves to sing. Learning to sing by listening to other singers, without formal training, is called ‘singing by ear’. While some classically trained vocalists frown on this approach, it can lay the foundation for strong pitch recognition.

The problem with learning to sing by ear is that you can develop bad habits that are difficult to break later in life. Professional lessons can be expensive, though. Many singers find middle ground by using self-study courses.

Self-study singing courses typically contain videos or audio files that guide you through warm-ups and vocal exercises. They can help you expand your lung capacity, control your breathing, increase your vocal range, and sing smoothly across your vocal breaks.

If you decide to go this route, read reviews before you purchase a product. Some systems are better than others, so user reviews can be very helpful. You can find self-study singing courses online, or at your local library or book store.

How to Learn Singing – Professional Help

If you would prefer to do your learning face-to-face, consider signing up for singing lessons. Look for voice coaches in your area, or get a referral from friends who have had a good experience with a particular instructor.

If the cost of voice lessons is a little steep for your budget, try joining a choir at your school, church, or community center. This will give you access to an instructor and other singers that you can trade tips and techniques with.

How to Learn Singing – Advanced Techniques

After you’ve spent some time practicing, you might decide that you really enjoy singing and want to do more of it. It can be a little daunting to sing solo when you’re accustomed to singing with a group, but a little practice will decrease nervousness.

You can use your self-study course or your instructor to learn advanced techniques like perfecting your head voice, reaching into your falsetto range, and developing a vibrato. You will also learn to read music and transpose your favorite songs into a different key so that you can sing them easily.

Now you know how to learn singing without putting a huge dent in your bank account. Have fun experimenting with different musical styles and gaining confidence in your voice!

———————————————–

This article comes to you courtesy of Singorama:
https://singorama.com

If you’d like to take your singing voice from ordinary to extraordinary, make a signature song all your own, increase your vocal range, hit every note with professional precision and learn every nitty-gritty detail about auditions, singing in a band, harmonizing and more, then check out the most comprehensive learn-to-sing system available.

No matter if you are a beginner, intermediate, or advanced singer, Singorama can help you. Not only is it educational, it’s really fun!

Weekly Reminder

I’ve heard a lot of people mention something that their therapist once told them to do. They said “the other day my therapist told me to look over at an empty chair and imagine child you sitting on it. They then asked me what I looked like and I said I looked happy and excited. They then told me to imagine that child me was going through the same thing that I am going through now. Again he asked what I looked like, and to that I said sad, lonely. And then my therapist said, what does he look like he needs, and all I could say was a hug”. I pretty much took that directly from a tiktok I saw, but I had heard other stories identical to that one.

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But it’s weird right. We never really look at ourselves that way. It also sometimes seems like we can give advice and support to our friends, but never actually do it ourselves. And it can be really difficult to see it in the way of younger you being in the same situation because it is just a child, but it is still you. And the therapists aim there was to harness what you actually need. What it is you need guidance on so they can help you. I suppose it is also so you can help yourself because you look at your situation as if you were observing your own life. I always find myself joking a lot about me ‘warning’ my younger self. Like if I were to look at a photo of baby me I would joke “she don’t know what the fucks gonna hit her” and I would say stuff like that at all times when talking about younger me or just kids in general. Like there was this one time when I was telling my friends about how my cousin said school sucked because his friend stole his pencil and I was like ‘ah to be 9 and your biggest problem being a pen. Just wait till he gets to high school’. So although I don’t directly say it, I am just dissing how crap my life is at the moment and how shit hits the fan by the time you start into high school. I am sure some of you guys do that at sometimes too because I feel it is a universal joke, especially for gen z’s because we usually use humour to hide how we feel.

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I guess why I wanted to mention this was because I want you to try it. If it isn’t too hard, I want you to look at an empty chair, or an empty space and imagine little you with the pain that you feel right now in their eyes and the same thoughts in their head. Would you treat them like you treat yourself now? Would you tell them they are attention seeking or dramatic? Would you tell them to just ‘disappear’ because they only cause harm? Or would you give them a hug. Hold them tight and tell them that it is going to be ok and you are going to be there for them through it out. Would you get them the help they need? Tuck them up in bed with a nice movie and a bowl of brownies and ice cream. Treat them the way they deserve and show them they are loved. Well, what would you do? You do all the first things to yourself I’m going to guess, but why? You wouldn’t do that to your younger self, but you are still that person. Make sure you look after yourself because although you may think this is ‘the real world’ and you need to just wise up, you are the most important thing in life and you need to look after yourself the way that you deserve. It may be difficult to do but please remember that you are human and life is tough and that’s ok as long as you take care of yourself. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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Where Is The Back Button On Life? I Need Out Of This Bitch

This is not a drill guys! I was called yesterday by a manager of a restaurant I applied for and he booked me in for an interview on Monday. Bitch when I tell you I am shitting myself, I am quite literally shitting it. I mean did I apply for it? Yes. But it is all too real now. They are all gonna judge me and be like what is this bitch doing. And if I even get the job, I won’t be able to make friends with the other staff cause I can’t even socialize! Like I am going to be so out of place and I literally won’t be able to get everyone’s food on time or hold all the plates or talk or write down quickly. I hope they got tablets for us because I don’t think anyone could understand my writing. I have a literal doctor’s handwriting after a 24 hour shift and 200 pages signed. Like it really is that bad.

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I don’t know why I am freaking out already though because I haven’t even got the job and it isn’t until Monday that I have the interview, but this is my first ever one. I don’t know what to wear and like what if I dress up too much or too little. What if I can’t hear what they are saying and I have to do that awkward shit where you ask them to say that again for the 5th time. Or what if they ask me a stupid fucking question that I didn’t prepare for and it is just me staring at them awkwardly like “oh shit”. I don’t think I am cut out to be a waitress in all honesty. I had always been excited to start a job and earn some money, but now that there is a chance that could happen, I don’t want it anymore. I am happy to just live on the streets. I’ll sneak onto a cruise and go across the world. Or maybe I will make friends with some rich old man who will let me live on his boat and when he dies I can just sail away and never have to work. To be fair though, I am looking forward to tips though, and also if there are Karen’s I can actually say something, to an extent I guess. Because when you hear them in a restaurant you literally want to shout over to them and say “watch your mouth bitch. It isn’t their fault that they don’t serve your great grandma’s famous cheese sauce”. I won’t be able to say that but like I can say something a bit passive aggressive and slabber about it later.

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What I also can’t stand the thought of is being the new girl. Like what if they call me newbie for the rest of my life or if I make a mistake they will call me something like… I don’t know a nickname for that but you get what I mean. I am not ready for that. They will all have their friends already too so I will just be that awkward girl who is sweating profusely and being really quiet. I don’t want that. They could all be chavs too or like really annoying and it would be so awkward if it was just me and one other person just staring like “hey” with that awkward white person smile. I think that if I wasn’t hired, I could never go back to that restaurant ever again because that would be embarrassing as fuck, like imagine me going in and then everyone is like “look at that actual idiot that couldn’t even get into a crusty restaurant. It is a nice restaurant though but just for the purpose of this post let’s say it is crusty. It is also gonna be so awkward because when I go in I will have to be like “hey, I am here to like take your job” and then they will have to lead me to the room.

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Also when I was on the call, the man sounded nice and all but he cut out for a minute and then I did understand him but like I was panicking about what he could have said and then he said what time to come down and now that I look back at it I am scared in case I got it wrong. Like what if I go in and say “hey I am here for an interview” and they are like “bitch that isn’t for another week” or “you stupid bitch, that was 2 days ago”. Like I can’t handle the embarrassment. And what if I go “hey I am here for an interview” and then they look at me like “ok? the fuck you want me to do?”. I would walk right out to be honest. After the manager had called I literally sent a fucking documentary of a rant to my friends, pretty much like this, and because I am the first one to do this, they did fuck all and I was here like wow, so much help guys thanks. And some were like “oh my I’d be shitting myself”. Yeah no shit. I also told them to apply for it and I don’t know if they have yet, but like that would be so much better. It would be bloody awkward though if they got it and I didn’t and now they are the ones alone and I am just standing awkwardly like “so… was it that scary”. I also don’t cope well under that much stress and people concentrating on me and it always shows as well. Like my face goes so red that it looks like it is about to explode and I sweat like a bitch. I slur my words and literally get sweaty ass hands, so if they go to shake it, they gonna be getting one unpleasant surprise.

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So, if you haven’t noticed yet, I am terrified. If any of you guys have any tips with interviews or being a waitress, that would be really helpful to hear in the comments. And maybe if you have any of your own stories or how you felt getting your first interview that would be great. Hopefully on Monday I tell you a success story, and not an embarrassing one because I may have to just leave this planet forever. Everyone always says to “just be yourself” but I don’t like myself so why would anyone else?! I have the worst sense of humor so if I attempt a joke and they just stare at me, I am running out, or at least trying to with wobbly legs. Anyways, please send in any tips or stories, whether that is embarrassing, fun or just normal. I hope you guys have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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I Hate Genes

To any foetus child out there who is like what the fuck are genes, basically they are the characteristics that we get from our parents and they make up who we are and what we look like. For example, I inherited my dad’s white ass Irish skin which burns like a bitch whenever a bloody … Continue reading I Hate Genes

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Here’s What I Think About Birthday’s

So, it is my birthday tomorrow no biggy. I’m not going to say my age because, despite the fact I may have said before or if you have already made a guess, I don’t really want any 70 year old creepy men popping up in the comments, but anyways. I am at the age where talking about getting old makes me sound like ‘that bitch’ because I am not that old, but I would say that the difference between me now and me when I was pretty much a foetus is quite different and I am wondering if you guys think the same way.

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I ain’t gonna lie ok, I like going to people’s birthdays, but when I have to think of gifts or when I have to plan my own birthday, I run out of fucks to give you know. Like so what I was born onto this earth on exactly this day so many years ago, but as far as I am concerned, that isn’t something to celebrate. And I also have a twin which makes it a nightmare because we are literally polar opposites and, luckily we have mostly the same friends, but there are things that I want do and she doesn’t. And eventually it gets to the point that we just disagree with any of the other person’s ideas just out of spite. Like why am I organizing something for my day? But do you know what is fucking hilarious about having to share a birthday with a twin is that, because I am 1 freaking minute younger, my sister would always make the joke that I should do everything one minute after her, and then when we were younger cakes were very confusing too. Not because we shared one but because when we went to visit other family members for our birthday, we would bring other cakes like the classic Tescos ones or the OG Collin the caterpillar. And being the dumb fucking child I was, I wouldn’t catch on that this cake was for us and there were other people who have birthdays around the same time as us. So one day, when I was turning 7 (and so was my twin! What a coincidence !) I saw my dad taking out a cake and some candles and then later on that day they brought it out and I started signing happy birthday because of course. Tell me why my dumb ass thought it was my Granda’s 77th birthday! And then my dad put the cake in front of me and my sister and it took me a minute to click that it had literally been my birthday yesterday and they just got a candle for us each to blow out. How dumb must I have looked to be singing Happy Birthday to myself while looking around looking for the birthday girl or boy. Maybe that’s where my life started going down hill?

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What I have also realised is that the excitement for my birthday has really plummeted because back then I would be counting down the bloody minutes until my birthday, but now I really do not give a shit. I never even know what to ask for my birthday and everyone is popping up like “what do ya want” and here I am like “I don’t know! A fucking life?”. I mean there are many things I want that you can’t buy. Maybe a hobby, happiness, excitement! But then you end up with a pair of socks (which I actually do like to be fair but lets just say it for the point of this bit) that I have to be like “ah yes exactly what I wanted”. I also hate opening presents because they are just staring at you and you need to act as though this is the best thing you have ever witnessed in your life while trying to make it not obvious that, although you like it, you aren’t absolutely jumping with joy, you just want to make sure they know that you like it. And then after you open it all you just sit there quietly for a second like 😐 What the fuck do we do now. It’s a whole awkward situation and there is a lot of trying to make it seem like a special day, but in reality I am just glad that there is one year less to go.

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What I find funny though is thinking of your age as your level as if you were in a game. Like imagine being like “yes I’m level 26!” That sounds a lot cooler and maybe then older people will be less embarrassed by their age and we won’t have to hear “oooh I’m 25” whenever you ask them what age they are turning. We know your fucking ancient Karen! No need to lie! And it also makes sense because at each level you unlock something new. At 18 you can go into 18 films in the cinema. And when you get to 21 or something, you get student debt! Then when you are around 25-30 you get married and unlock a kid if you want. And you get a mortgage! How fun. And depending on how you live, you may get damage points like “-100 back health” or “+100 obesity”. That kind of thing. Watch the FBI agent in my computer get freaked out like “FUCK THIS BITCH HAS CRACKED THE CODE” LMAO imagine. I wouldn’t care to be honest with you.

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But yeah, don’t really know what else to say about birthdays at the moment, I guess you kind of just grow out of them as you get older. You don’t get all excited over the Lego set that you asked for, or the face painters that are coming over tomorrow. Wow, not me literally depressing you all, but anyways I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.


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I Am Confusion

Right, can someone please tell me why the FUCK is everyone getting married. Now, I don’t mean people in their 20’s or their 30’s or anything normal like that. But I mean people my fucking age, a teenager, getting married! I mean, I get it. True love and all at shit and meeting the love of your life but for fuck sake mate. You are still learning the reproduction system in biology class so give it a break luv. Every time I open my bloody snapchat there is another person I know that is getting married and here I am lying in my bed, looking like chewbacca, with no eyebrows, in my PJ’s. I swear to god that is literally the reason I am slowly backing away from society. Either that or my mental health 🙂

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There are also so many people my age getting pregnant, and I am not judging like, I think teen parents are totally fine and I am not judging you, but like, I don’t even talk to any guys. The only guy I have talked to pretty much ruined men for me but you are here literally starting a family! Let me catch up mate, I’m still recovering from the last one. It is so creepy though. Every time I hear someone my age got married, the boyfriend (or husband I supposed 😐 ) literally is 20+ and I am sitting here like, luv you are a victim, the fuck. That literal pedo man could be your father babes and it’s not ok. And you can comment all you want “age is just a number” and “they are in love” but then one week later they will be popping up on their story saying “nrs only real ones know” and in reality, everyone fucking knows because they video their life as though they are the kardashians. We literally don’t care OK! So if you are getting married, good luck to you, but I don’t really want some chav from down the road having my kids

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Seriously though, where is this coming from. Is it in the vaccine or something, because it has just all happened at once. Babies and wedding rings bloody flying everywhere. I swear that I am the only girl alive that isn’t talking to another guy, or anyone to be honest lol. I think if someone where to go up to me and propose while I literally am not even at the legal age to drive, I would be sprinting away. You’ll see me on the news, fucking Forrest Gump up in this bitch.

Is it becoming a trend or something? That would make so much more sense to be honest, and would make me feel less lonely. It is literally one of those things that makes you feel sad not to be a part of, but then when it happens to you, you feel like throwing up. Kind of like in cheesy movies when the guy looks over at the girl in class and they are proper in love, but then if that happened to me I’d be getting my pepper spray out. Would defo give me the ick like. Wait! Oh my god, what if you literally loved someone with all your heart but then when they went down on one knee you got the ick! What would you even do! That would defo be me though, no lie. That’s scary. But hopefully I won’t have to figure that our for a while. I’m gonna take it slow you know. I still need to learn how to talk to guys without jumbling up my words like bloody scrabble. So yeah, I have quite a ways to go. Could I ask though, to any of you out there who are like teenagers and are married? What did your parents say, because I would be on the streets. And like, do you actually love them or do you just feel bad for them lol 😮 But I mean, if you actually have found the love of your life, I respect that and wish you all the happiness in the world. Damn I am lonely.

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Thank you so much for reading this. Was kinda just a wee bit of food for thought you know because I have been seeing so many people doing massive things. If you enjoyed this, please like, follow and comment down below. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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