Job Update (It Do Be Like That Sometimes)

So guys, I didn’t get the job, but I mean it’s fine. Honestly, like it’s fine. This was my first ever one to be fair so if I was expecting results, I would be a bit dumb you know. The truth is though, I don’t know what I would have done if I did get the job. The guy would ring me and be like “hey you got the job” and then I would be like “that’s great thank you” and then it would be an awkward pause just with me on the other line like what the fuck now. And if I got the job I would most definitely be like “well fuck. I don’t actually want to work though”. People always say to look at the positives, so in this situation that is that I have an excuse to do nothing. I guess I will have to look for more work in the mean time, but like doe now I can be like “damn, I wish I could be walking back and forth between Karen’s and a boiling kitchen with heavy plates and 0 hour of sleep. I guess I will just relax and be sad about it”.

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For me, I am the type of person whose social battery can go from 100 to 0 in a second. I’m basically an iPhone battery bitch cause it changes real quick. So imagine what I would be like if I had to be crazy happy for a bit and then all of a sudden I crashed. No tip for me I guess. This would literally be me… “Hi, My name is Ally and I am going to be your server today! What can I get for you guys 🙂 Ok, so that’s 2 burg… *crashes on ground, rolls into ball, sleeps*” and the customers are like “we’ll have chips with that too”. It would be a laugh but like everyone would think I am some sort of quirky emo.

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I guess I don’t feel too bad that I didn’t get the job because literally half of the people my age applied for it. I wonder how many got it though? Lol, everyone but me. Imagine. I could never step foot in that restaurant again, not like I go there anyways but still, I would keep my distance. The thing is though, I thought the interview went quite well. Me and the guy were kinda hitting it off, in the non-relationship way, as in we chatted. We had things in common and a bit of banter you know. Toxic friendship I suppose. Nrs only real ones know. But no, he actually didn’t really ask that many questions. Maybe that was a red flag that he already found the good ones and didn’t give a shit anymore. Do you guys want a re-inaction of what the thing was like, with a bit of a twist and my inner commentary. No? Shut up, Imma do it anyways.

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So I walked in, already sweating like a pig, and the restaurant was kind of empty but like there were a few people working there. I saw one girl and she was like “just wait there for a second” and I was like ok but I don’t want a fucking seat, I want to take your fucking job, but then another waitress was like “is everything ok” and I was like “no actually, life is pretty tough at the moment beca…”, “no I meant can I help you” and then I said I was here for an interview and I sat down for a bit at a random table which was kind of awkward because it was a reserved table and I didn’t know if that was for me or if a family would walk in and just see this random sweaty girl on their seat. Oh, I would also like to clear up that the whole “is everything ok” bit from above was a joke, I didn’t do that lol. Just making sure :/ But I was just there looking awkward as fuck because I didn’t want to go on my phone because the guy defo would have come and said no right on the spot for being a lazy hoe, so I just starred into nowhere as I sat and waited for 10 mins with my CV in my dripping, shaking hand. Then the guy came and I went from 0 to 100 real fast. Like, my waitress mode was turned on to maximum bitch.

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Oh my god, this part is so embarrassing, but when we were going to the table he was saying “the hand sanitizer is there but be careful when you press down because it can squirt out a bit” and I was like ok, there is no way I could mess this up, we are fine. The thing is, I thought it just meant it splattered a bit, but no. This bitch FLEW. Like I had my hand over it a bit to catch any spray, but this hoe went right over it. And I looked so dumb, but I don’t know if he saw. Like he just told me to be careful and then I went ahead and got it everywhere anyways. I was near wetting myself because it still was kinda funny to be honest. It really defied the laws of gravity. I really don’t know how it did that you know. Maybe that was the first test and he realised I was an absolute idiot so he just decided on the spot.

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There is more to the story really, but it isn’t even that funny or important, I just basically acted over enthusiastically and agreed to what he said. I also can’t be bothered to type the rest because I am quite the tired one today, but I will post tomorrow hopefully so don’t forget to subscribe, like and comment so that I can make this my job instead. Show that bottle of hand sanitizer that I am the shit. But yeah, I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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My Honest Interview Answers

Hi guys, so as some of you will already know, I have my first ever interview tomorrow. And I am shitting it to say the least. It has caused me to have many a breakdown and freaking out about what I should say about the generic questions and whether or not I would end up completely fucking it up because I accidentally tell the truth. I mean you do kinda have to make white lies in an interview or to slightly bend the truth, but to get all the thoughts about saying something wrong our of my head, I am gonna spill them here and if the interview guy is reading this, it is all a joke :/

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Tell me about yourself

I’m a chronically awkward bitch who likes to people please and in the event of a customer or staff members slight change in tone, I will have a breakdown. But that doesn’t mean I won’t throw hands if a Karen act’s up. I can remember stuff kind of well but if there is a silence for even 1 millisecond, my face will light up bright red. I can get overwhelmed but that isn’t knew to me. I have a twin and an older sister, one of which I am pretty sure has anger issues and the other is alright I guess but I am always the peace maker between them and that means I have to sit in the middle of the car. I would count that as one of my trauma’s. I can either be very energetic, or I won’t be able to move a muscle. If you hire me, I may or may not be the most awkward person you will meet until you get to know me. Then you will realise I am a ‘unique’ person.

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Why do you want this job?

I don’t. To tell you the truth like. I mean I will get paid though won’t I? That is literally the only reason I am here right now but even if I get hired, I might just leave because I think everyone hates me. I guess I also want tips, as in cash, not like training or anything like that. Although if you have any tips on how to enjoy life, that would be great. I also kinda need this job because it is the socially acceptable age to get a job like this and if I don’t get one I will be broke and also judged, so not too different from now, but like I want to keep it at the same level

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What is your biggest weakness?

ahhaha, I think the easier question would be “what isn’t your biggest weakness” because we could be here for days. But let’s see… hmm… oooh this ones my favorite. You see, I do this thing where I feel as though I don’t belong here and that everyone hates me and wishes I wasn’t there. Also, I sometimes speak really fast or slur my words and I also can’t write that fast or that well, so the cooks might have a bit of a problem with that. I also don’t take criticism well so if I do something wrong, I may or may not cry or never speak ever again. I also have a tendency to not make friends because I think they all hate me, think I am weird, don’t want me there and I also am very much awful at small talk. Do you want anymore?

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Why should we pick you?

I have no clue bitch, but if you need a reason not to pick me, ask my ex because he seemed to have a lot of reasons to treat me like shit. Also, if you do pick me, I will think that you did that by accident and that the other people who didn’t get it now hate me. Also I will panic a lot and although I will work very hard, I will be shaking so much that I don’t think I could carry out any plates or drinks. I also can’t do math all that well if I don’t have a calculator. And if you don’t hire me, I don’t think I can ever go back here again because I will be highly embarrassed so you would loose a customer as well

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Tell me about a time you have been in a stressful situation?

Oh, so my life story? Ok, well it all started the day I was born… 5 hours later… and here I am pissing myself because I realised that I just told you every single memory I have and you guys have actually left I just realised so now I am talking to a wall. Oh, and the lights just turned off so I guess I am the last one here. Why am I still talking to myself?

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Do you have any questions you would like to ask us?

Yes actually. What am I applying for again?

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Anyways, thank you guys for reading this post, I hope you enjoyed it. It was kind of a piss take but like that is honestly what I would say. Wish me luck for my interview and hopefully I don’t say anything like I just did above. Tell me about what your first interview was like. Did you make any mistakes, or panic or any more bad experiences? Write them in the comment section below. I can’t wait to read them. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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Where Is The Back Button On Life? I Need Out Of This Bitch

This is not a drill guys! I was called yesterday by a manager of a restaurant I applied for and he booked me in for an interview on Monday. Bitch when I tell you I am shitting myself, I am quite literally shitting it. I mean did I apply for it? Yes. But it is all too real now. They are all gonna judge me and be like what is this bitch doing. And if I even get the job, I won’t be able to make friends with the other staff cause I can’t even socialize! Like I am going to be so out of place and I literally won’t be able to get everyone’s food on time or hold all the plates or talk or write down quickly. I hope they got tablets for us because I don’t think anyone could understand my writing. I have a literal doctor’s handwriting after a 24 hour shift and 200 pages signed. Like it really is that bad.

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I don’t know why I am freaking out already though because I haven’t even got the job and it isn’t until Monday that I have the interview, but this is my first ever one. I don’t know what to wear and like what if I dress up too much or too little. What if I can’t hear what they are saying and I have to do that awkward shit where you ask them to say that again for the 5th time. Or what if they ask me a stupid fucking question that I didn’t prepare for and it is just me staring at them awkwardly like “oh shit”. I don’t think I am cut out to be a waitress in all honesty. I had always been excited to start a job and earn some money, but now that there is a chance that could happen, I don’t want it anymore. I am happy to just live on the streets. I’ll sneak onto a cruise and go across the world. Or maybe I will make friends with some rich old man who will let me live on his boat and when he dies I can just sail away and never have to work. To be fair though, I am looking forward to tips though, and also if there are Karen’s I can actually say something, to an extent I guess. Because when you hear them in a restaurant you literally want to shout over to them and say “watch your mouth bitch. It isn’t their fault that they don’t serve your great grandma’s famous cheese sauce”. I won’t be able to say that but like I can say something a bit passive aggressive and slabber about it later.

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What I also can’t stand the thought of is being the new girl. Like what if they call me newbie for the rest of my life or if I make a mistake they will call me something like… I don’t know a nickname for that but you get what I mean. I am not ready for that. They will all have their friends already too so I will just be that awkward girl who is sweating profusely and being really quiet. I don’t want that. They could all be chavs too or like really annoying and it would be so awkward if it was just me and one other person just staring like “hey” with that awkward white person smile. I think that if I wasn’t hired, I could never go back to that restaurant ever again because that would be embarrassing as fuck, like imagine me going in and then everyone is like “look at that actual idiot that couldn’t even get into a crusty restaurant. It is a nice restaurant though but just for the purpose of this post let’s say it is crusty. It is also gonna be so awkward because when I go in I will have to be like “hey, I am here to like take your job” and then they will have to lead me to the room.

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Also when I was on the call, the man sounded nice and all but he cut out for a minute and then I did understand him but like I was panicking about what he could have said and then he said what time to come down and now that I look back at it I am scared in case I got it wrong. Like what if I go in and say “hey I am here for an interview” and they are like “bitch that isn’t for another week” or “you stupid bitch, that was 2 days ago”. Like I can’t handle the embarrassment. And what if I go “hey I am here for an interview” and then they look at me like “ok? the fuck you want me to do?”. I would walk right out to be honest. After the manager had called I literally sent a fucking documentary of a rant to my friends, pretty much like this, and because I am the first one to do this, they did fuck all and I was here like wow, so much help guys thanks. And some were like “oh my I’d be shitting myself”. Yeah no shit. I also told them to apply for it and I don’t know if they have yet, but like that would be so much better. It would be bloody awkward though if they got it and I didn’t and now they are the ones alone and I am just standing awkwardly like “so… was it that scary”. I also don’t cope well under that much stress and people concentrating on me and it always shows as well. Like my face goes so red that it looks like it is about to explode and I sweat like a bitch. I slur my words and literally get sweaty ass hands, so if they go to shake it, they gonna be getting one unpleasant surprise.

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So, if you haven’t noticed yet, I am terrified. If any of you guys have any tips with interviews or being a waitress, that would be really helpful to hear in the comments. And maybe if you have any of your own stories or how you felt getting your first interview that would be great. Hopefully on Monday I tell you a success story, and not an embarrassing one because I may have to just leave this planet forever. Everyone always says to “just be yourself” but I don’t like myself so why would anyone else?! I have the worst sense of humor so if I attempt a joke and they just stare at me, I am running out, or at least trying to with wobbly legs. Anyways, please send in any tips or stories, whether that is embarrassing, fun or just normal. I hope you guys have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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How Has The Truth About The Royalty Affected Teens

I am not sure who has watched the interview between Harry, Meghan and Opera yet, but in summary, the royalty were exposed for the tyrannical, cruel and racist organisation that they are. The sole fact that Harry was scared for Meghan’s safety is enough to strike worry through our hearts. And for me, as I watched a few clips, there were a few things that hit especially hard for me. I am not sure if others can relate but lets find out.

There have been a lot of people who have been really close-minded after hearing her talk and I really don’t understand why. She literally just opened up about one of the most difficult times in her life and then you go to accuse her of lying. She isn’t a bad person who would do something like that. With every photo from her past you could see the pain in her eyes, despite her smile. That is something you can’t fake. And it is crazy how none of us knew that. We all had a romanticized perception of the royal family and we couldn’t see that we were close to losing her. The woman who is so kind and influential is falling apart. It kind of reminds me of the fact that basically everything out there is fake. Every picture, every smile, every rumor is fake. And Meghan is the walking reminder of that. She had said in her interview that there was a point in time that she was afraid to be by herself as she was scared of what she would do and I know that so many of you out there will understand what she means on a personal level. It just goes to show that these famous people we see everyday on TV, or maybe in real life, are still people just like you and me. They have thoughts that are terrifying to think of. Despite the ‘ideal lifestyle’, they aren’t happy all the time and they don’t always want to live that way.

So many of us wish to be just like these people. Have all their cars, their money, their fame, their skills, but we don’t realise what else comes with the package. For all you know, they are close to leaving this world. They look as though they have everything, yet they feel as thought they have lost it all. But they can’t really show that because of media and their role in society. When I saw pictures of Meghan Markle, I thought she was living the life. I mean she lived in a palace, she is beautiful, talented and independent, yet her voice, which meant so much to her was silenced. For me, to hear all these things that were taken away from her, her rights, her freedom, it makes me rethink so many things. It made me remember that we aren’t the only ones that are struggling. The people who have made it big in this world are also struggling with their mental health, just like us. Sometimes I watch these videos on YouTube that talk about what other famous people have gone through and, although it usually isn’t good for me, I sometimes get a comforting feeling that they are by my side. Of course I know they aren’t, but I kind of just imagine them being here with me and supporting me because they actually know what it is like. This idle that I have loved for so long is so amazing and strong, and maybe I can become just like them. I won’t be destroyed by this illness, and they are the proof.

And then there were the people who would judge her for every little thing she did. Despite the fact that Kate did the same things, Meghan was literally bullied by the tabloids. She held her baby bump? ‘vanity’. Eating an avocado? ‘Killing the environment’. Somebody come get their English teacher because they are reading into this stuff way to much. And like Meghan said ‘that is a loaded piece of toast’. How dare you disrespect this woman for breathing. It is so ridiculous. Let her live. Let her be herself. She is such a great person who doesn’t deserve this type of abuse. It really goes to show that you can bullied for literally anything. Literal famous people with hardly a fault are still criticized and judged. And it makes me sick that her skin colour was an obvious problem in the royal family. I have no doubt this has happened to her in other stages throughout her life, but the fact that her own family are now part of this abuse it so disappointing. They literally have so much knowledge about what is going on in this world, yet they are still racist and cruel. Yes this isn’t all of them, but at the moment we don’t know who it is. There really is no excuse for their actions and they don’t deserve to have her in their family. In my opinion, they made the best decision by getting out of there.

I can’t say I have gone through all of the same situations as Meghan, obviously, but at the end she said that is takes real courage and strength to actually ask for help and… I am not really sure how to write how it made me felt. Just overwhelmed with comfort and hope I suppose. As though she was actually talking to me. And for me, I really look up to female figures because I feel some sort of connection as in, we are going through some of the same things that all girls go through and I want to use my voice just like she does. Her confidence and honesty really affected me and the interview was really empowering. I know I will never actually be able to talk to her in real life, unfortunately, but I felt like I was there with her. I know I have focused on Meghan this whole time and please don’t think I have something against Harry because I really don’t. I think what he did for his family was really brave and I respect him so much, but I am focusing on Meghan because, well she said the most during the interview I suppose. She said most of the impactful things.

But yeah, I guess that overall, what I am gonna take away from all of this is that, famous people are, in fact, real people. They go through tough crap just like us and we can look up to them as an example that, despite what we go through, we can make it. No matter what, there is a chance to success for all of us.

Thank you guys so much for reading. I know I am not the best at getting all of my feeling down on paper… or on the internet, but I hope I got my main point across. Please like, follow and comment your opinions on the interview. Hope you all have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT