Growing up: Expectations vs. Reality

I know that title makes me sound like I’m fucking ancient or some shit but like I am only 16. To be fair though this is me nearly becoming an adult and like is one of the biggest changes in life so I suppose I can talk about growing up. The difference between me now and me 5 years ago is astronomical. For example, I wouldn’t have been able to use astronomical in a sentence. We all grow in pretty weird ways despite the fact it is usually normal. I suppose we all reach the same point eventually but like each journey to get there is so different. So before I start getting into deep shit, lets just talk about some things that have shocked me, surprised me, met my expectations and disappointed me. And don’t forget to comment below some of the things you think I missed because it will be interesting to hear if anyone feels the same way or if I just over-think things way to much.

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One thing that I thought I would have by the time I was 16 or something was… a life. No, I’m joking, but also not but no, I thought I would have an idea of what the fuck I wanted to do with my life. I mean I think I had my life sorted out more when I was 10 than I do now because so much has changed and I have no fucking clue anymore. Like I always wanted to be a police woman and I still do but like also what the fuck?! Like what if I am crap at it, or what if I could have found the fucking cure for cancer but now I am just giving speeding tickets. Obviously police do a lot more than that and I really respect their work, but just to make a point. And I mean I don’t think that if I become a police woman that I will have that big of an impact on the world. I don’t mean that in a way that I want to be fucking famous but I would like to be remembered as someone who did something amazing that saved so many people’s lives. And while that sounds good and better than an office job, I don’t really want to have to work by a time table and for someone else who I might not be able to argue with if I think what they are doing is wrong. Like what if they are racist or some shit? It’s just difficult because there are pros and cons for every job but like it’s trying to weigh up how much the pros mean to you and how you will be affected by the cons.

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I had actually tried to start a business, like just a dropshipping business, but like I always get distracted. I literally started this blog to get my voice out there and, as you know, I haven’t been posting much. The thing is I get distracted by things that seem better that will get me places quicker, but look at me now. In the same exact fucking place as last year. Didn’t make money online, apart from a few online surveys, and although I do have all of you guys and the support has been amazing, I feel like I have failed in some way. That’s another thing about growing up that has kind of shocked me, or at least I new it was coming but never really thought it would be such a big thing. Failure. I have had a pretty fucked up life and maybe if I actually stuck to something I would be in a different position, but I didn’t so I’m not and I guess that’s fine. Like I am still young even though I am growing up so there is still time left.

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Kind of linking back to that last sentence, I never thought that I would feel as though there were time limits on life. I mean we all die and that is the main one, but I never thought about the fact that there are stages in life that you go through and in those stages there is almost a to-do list both with things that society has added, and ones you add yourself. For example, something on my list that I feel society has made more urgent is finding a significant other or going to uni, working, figuring out what the fuck I am doing and plan to do for the rest of my life. And some that I have added on myself are stuff like travelling and getting all the fun stuff out of the way before I have to start into “the real world” which gets closer and closer every day. I feel as though I have a timer ticking inside my head making me think that these are supposed to be the best years of my life but I am wasting them by doing literally nothing so when I grow up and maybe have kids and a stable job, I will regret my life and that I will never actually do anything beneficial or impactful. Do you know what I mean by that? Do I just sound crazy. I feel as though I only have a few years to live my life and then afterwards I need to live a life of always waiting forward to the weekend, but when it is the weekend I dread the week to come. Like once you start a job, that is your life until you retire, and then when you retire you may be lucky enough to travel but you’ll also be exhausted and unable to do some of the things that I should be doing now.

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That got really deep really fast so I hope I am not giving anyone an existential crisis, but I really do hope at least one person relates to this. Obviously I am still young, and mentally unstable, so I don’t really know what I am talking about so feel free to comment below what your thoughts are and maybe what you are scared for in the future. I’ll probably have to do another post about this in the future because it was actually kind of fun. Especially know that I know how to type properly so it is so much quicker and satisfying to get what I am thinking down because that shit changes quickly and when it’s gone it’s gone. But yeah, I am planning to focus on this blog from now on and you better make sure I stick to it because no matter what, I would love this blog to work and stay open for as long as I possibly can. Make sure you like, comment and follow so that you can stay updated about all the post I make that are going to be freaking awesome! I hope you have great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Is 6th Year Really Worth It?

I’m in lower 6th and yes I have only been so for about 3 months but the thing is that I didn’t even know if I wanted to go back to that hell-hole. The only reason I did go was because I didn’t know what else to fucking do and I have FOMO so I didn’t want to miss anything. But would I have missed much? Is school really worth the 7am alarm and the boring painful days? Let’s discuss it

Btw this isn’t me about to talk about smart shit like “you need to go for uni” or “it will make you successful” because firstly do I even want to go to uni? I don’t know. And secondly it won’t make you successful because how the fuck would that make any sense. I’m just talking about whether 6th year is really worth the emotional and physical burden so that I can help people in a similar situation to what I was a few months back. So let this be your guide or some shit but let’s get into it more

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Teachers

Honestly, the teachers become your friend in a way. Like they actually talk to you and respect you more and you can slabbed about the younger years with them. Like I had always seen the really loud annoying people chatting with teachers and I was eaither like “how the fuck” or “why the fuck” but now they actually want to talk to us and it is easy to talk to them too. I guess it depends on how nice they are but for me I’ve been lucky. I suppose there is this one teacher who makes me actually shit myself but I think she doesn’t try to and like she is funny and tells us stories about her family which is cute. We actually had such a great convo about squid games which I guess is quite random but like we were actually all vibing over it. And then they talk to you even in the bus park and it just makes you feel a wee bit special and like before people would think it was a bit weird but when you are 6th year it is absolutely great.

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It is weird I guess to see your teachers as actual human beings. Like they talk about a life outside of school and actually being a living, breathing person. Obviously it isn’t like we are hanging outside of school with them but like they tell us stories about there weekend and while I try to look interested I can’t stop from getting an existential crisis. It happens though I guess. Teachers were actually one of the reasons I was questioning if I should go back to school or not because, to be fair all the teachers in my subjects are good, but like you do have preferences and I was scared I was gonna get crappy teachers who were rude to me but like not even. I love all my teachers and even the ones I don’t have you I used to not like are actually nice and respectful when you are walking down the corridor. It’s almost as if they realise we are a human with feelings as well.

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School to Life Ratio

Obviously I can’t speak for everyone and every school, but for me I do 3 subjects and that means I get a few study periods each day, well apart from the odd day where I have none, and so I get all my homework and revision and shit done during those periods. And do you know what is great about that? You guessed it! I don’t have to do shit outside of school. To be fair, I maybe should but like also I don’t really need to so like deal with it. You would assume that would make me have more time to socialise and, you know, be a normal teen girl, but like it just takes the homework out of my day and I stay my normal depressed hermit self. And I’m fine with that to be fair. It’s better than be a depressed hermit doing homework. So yeah, I feel like I was really scared that I would be bombarded with work and I would always have my head in the books like a DWEEB (jokes) but no literally I haven’t done anything at home and while there is a lot of work and it is a tad more in-depth and difficult, I get to study the subjects I genuinely like and that always makes it easier. So you don’t have to study things you don’t give two fucks about and it is more of a relaxed atmosphere. But I don’t know, maybe I should be doing work outside of school. I guess I’ll figure that one out but at the moment I am getting by with just in school. I’ll keep yous updated I suppose…

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School Status

I actually hate that sub-heading because I sound like the start of every ‘coming of age’ American high school movie to ever exist but I just don’t know what else to name it because, believe it or not, I am not a walking thesaurus. But just ignore that and we’ll move on. So what I mean is that, you know when you are in first year on like p1 or maybe just one of the younger years and you see the older ones walk by and you think they are the scariest, coolest people to ever exist and their presence is a blessing to you. Well, you kinda get to witness that in a new perspective. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t feel that way about myself and I do genuinely get scared of the small first years who literally have no filter or understanding of actual social etiquette after ‘rona, but there are a lot and when you walk into the 6th form room or just walk past them at all, you know they are looking up to you and that you will be in the right no matter what. In short, you basically run the school. Well, more so the upper 6th but like we are nearly there so deal with it. I do feel kinda bad sometimes though because in school I sometimes look like a bitch but like it kinda is their fault cause there annoying as fuck, but I feel like they might think I am judging them, but like I am not (not too much anyway) so like I don’t want to make them panic I suppose. So yeah lol, you definitely do finally have that power and knowledge that we instil some fear in their lives.

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But yeah, I suppose that is the post all done. To summarise, I guess I would say that 6th form is so different from other years. It is more chill in terms of the number of classes, relationships with the people in your year and your teachers and just the overall respect and trust they give you. It feels more like a home I suppose and for anyone reading this to help them figure out whether they should or shouldn’t stay in school, I say don’t focus on the work because if you don’t go then I assume you don’t want to go to uni, which is perfectly fine as well, but I mean having bad grades is equal to having no grades at all, but you still get the experience of school. I am glad I stayed on to be honest and I would say just to think about what you genuinely want. Not what society or your parents want you to do, but what you think is best for you. Obviously all schools are different but I really enjoy school at the moment and that is a lot coming from someone who had the worst fucking years of school EVER. And I mean I was crying most nights and genuinely thought I would never make friends or go to a party or anything like that. But listen, you will get through it and if you go to 6th year and realise it isn’t what you expected/need in your life, then fucking leave. It’s voluntary and free (in public school anyways) so just test the waters because what have you got to lose? Pretty much nothing.

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Also I feel like a lot of people wonder if being in voluntary school makes it easier because you aren’t forced to go by law, but like I don’t really think about it that much. Like it doesn’t affect how I think of school or studying. It doesn’t make me more or less motivated. It’s just a fact an nothing else. So yeah, I hope that helped and please do like, follow and comment if there are any other questions or problems you would like me to talk about. Let me be your older sister in a sense because it is a hard decision to make, I must admit. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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I’m not above a fight

See, I don’t really like it when people are cheeky to me. I mean you can be upfront and shout at me and I’ll be fine with that. My sisters have conditioned me to that. But if you are being passive aggressive or cheeky in front of me or behind my back, I won’t hesitate … Continue reading I’m not above a fight

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The Biggest Difference Between Primary and Secondary School

Now, if your looking for some sort of “12% of children going into their first year of secondary school with anxiety brought on my the change of school” then you are out of luck bitch bitch there is one thing and one thing only that I will talk about in this post. And what is it you may ask? What is the biggest difference between primary and secondary school? The time.

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What I mean by this is the fact that primary school felt like a shit ton of time. I mean it literally made up the first 10 years of our life. I remember it felt like P3 lasted for a million years and the rest went a wee bit faster but still seemed to be never ending. Not in the way that it was boring as hell, which it was, but I mean it felt like it was my whole life and the difference between P1 and P7 was such a jump and thousands of years apart. Yet, in secondary school, I am going into lower 6th and I feel like I was in 1st year last year. It is so weird and although I do feel like I am this old, I think that time has gone by so quickly. But then I say that and in the moment it actually feels like a fucking long time. Getting through each year didn’t feel fast but when you look back and actually process the information, it really has just flashed past you. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad it’s all over. I would definitely never do that shit again but like it’s weird.

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And I can’t even say “time flies when your having fun” because there was not one ounce of it. And that isn’t an exaggeration. Like, if anything, I should be saying “time flies when you wake up disappointed that you actually woke up”. Like that is true. And in primary school we had the best of time eating glue, scrapping our knees, learning how to not pick our nose in front of people, but yet it felt like an eternity. Literally make it make sense.

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Maybe it is because so much changes between P1 and P7. I mean you literally do go from a literal foetus child who only is just potty trained, to a preteen whose only personality trait is being the oldest in the school. I mean I am right aren’t I. And then from 1st year to upper 6th, you are actually fully aware that you are alive and have responsibilities and the only thing that really changes is you mature, you have a wee bit more knowledge, you get increasingly more terrified of the future, and, last but not least, your mental health is close to the point of no return. All fun right?! :/

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Honestly though, I don’t mean to scare anyone that is going into high school or secondary school or whatever the hell you call it because we all go through different experiences and that’s fine. So your experience may be great, others may find it shit and that is fine because it’s normal. This is just a stage of your life that you need to get through and on the other end you can completely forget it and move on or use it as a show of your strength. And I’m not gonna tell you some bullshit motivational speech where I say “these years are the best years of your life” because that shit hurts, but also because you are the one who decides what the best years of your life are. I mean if these years are utter shite and you think “that’s the best years of my life wasted”, just think that it can only go up from here and that those years don’t define you. You had to hit rock bottom so you could push off stronger than ever and reach the heights you deserve. They don’t define you unless you want them to, so just hang in there ok. It goes by quickly, yes, but in the moments where it feels so slow, you gotta remember that it’s only a small part of the big plot of your life. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Train wreck of thought

I haven’t posted in a while, obviously, and I ain’t gonna explain why because it’s more boring than you think. It’s not like I went on a fucking trip to the Bahamas despite the fact I hope to go there some day if corona ever goes away. But anyways, a lot has happened like me … Continue reading Train wreck of thought

Makeup and Me

First of all, to the people who are in the comments right now saying “It’s makeup and I, not makeup and me” literally take you Hermione Granger ass outside or “I” will personally make Jeff Bezos land his fucking dick rocket on you. I mean would you slate Marley and Me for the grammar issue? … Continue reading Makeup and Me

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I Got My Results and I Feel…

I got my GCSE results yesterday and to be honest, I feel the same fucking way I felt last week. I mean there was no big sigh of relief or weight off my shoulders. I didn’t turn ecstatic, it was just another part of my day. Like it was literally just reading letters on a page. I did really well so it isn’t like my marks were the problem, but I just remember when I was in my first year and you would see all the old ones getting ready for GCSEs and getting the results later on and I would think they were the coolest people and it must be such a great time to see how you have done, but like I don’t know if it is because of corona or something, but it doesn’t seem that big. Like, it hasn’t affected me a lot and I never really was that worked up about it even before. I may have acted like it because everyone else was so excited but I didn’t really feel any different. It makes me sound ungrateful and I know that but it is true. It just doesn’t seem like such a big deal to me.

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Please, if someone got their results in the last few days, tell me if this is the same for you because I feel like it was a total anticlimax and I thought that something big was gonna happen and obviously it didn’t. Were my expectations too high? Was I too tired? Did I just not care? I mean even today, it is all in the past. You just move on. I don’t look at my grades and think of the great future I can have and how successful I can become with careers and shit. Like it was quite literally just a bunch of letters. That sounds like it was a really inspirational moment as well, as though it put everything into perspective, but it was just nothing you know.

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I also get awkward as fuck whenever people ask me what I got because I did well and I don’t want people to feel worse if they didn’t get what I did but still did awesomely and then I would look like that bitch feeling nothing for their results but overhyping their results. So I kinda just say I did well unless they specifically ask me what I got. It do be like that sometimes I guess. And my results are quite literally in among a pile of rubbish in my room and I know where they are like. They aren’t actually in the bin, but I always expected them to be like up on the fridge or like in a picture frame, but it is just there and I don’t give a shit about it.

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I called my granny on the day to tell her what I got and I swear she was more excited than me. Obviously, she wouldn’t be like “Ok?” and hang the phone up, but like I was just like yup. I didn’t fit the vibe check to say it in other terms. It was one of those moments where you are like “what now?”. I expect that to happen when I finish A levels or uni, if I even go, because what happens after you pass and everyone is like “well done” because you just go home and the world keeps spinning. Nobody else in the world is affected or knows of it and some people feel like their whole life has changed for good, but there are people just having a normal day. Seriously though, what did you do after graduating from university? Did you just go home and make yourself something to eat as usual? Did you wake up the next morning and have nothing much to do? I mean you have to start thinking about jobs and shit and actually making a living. It’s kind of just like another level of a game, just glorified. And I know this is probably dragging everyone done if they had a great day yesterday, but for me, that is how I feel. Just the same.

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I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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I Hate Genes

To any foetus child out there who is like what the fuck are genes, basically they are the characteristics that we get from our parents and they make up who we are and what we look like. For example, I inherited my dad’s white ass Irish skin which burns like a bitch whenever a bloody tea light goes within 1 mile of it. So it’s not ideal. I also inherited his lack of eyebrows which shocked me, but you couldn’t tell because you couldn’t see my eyebrows expressions. I slightly blame my twin for that because, although it is probably scientifically impossible, I believe she robbed them from me in the womb. Unfortunately that doesn’t stand well in court so I never got back what is rightfully mine smh

I do have blonde hair which really is the only thing going for me but it is going darker and I resent that but it is what it is. Oh and I forgot to mention, I swear my twin stole my teeth because I have two missing and she’s a bit sus if you ask me. She isn’t little miss perfect after all. When she dies I swear I’ll find a long note releasing the truth. I don’t know why she would do it but like it meant that for 13 years of my life I looked like your crazy young cousin whose only personality trate is losing their teeth. And now I have fake teeth that I sometimes think will fall out. IM FUCKING 16 YEARS OLD YET I’LL LITERALLY HAVE FAKE TEETH DRILLED IN MY MOUTH AT 18. I remember one time when I had to put my fake teeth in my retainers and one day I forgot them for some dumb fucking reason and I was like dad we need to turn back and he was like no. The trauma this man caused right then was astronomical but he didn’t give a shit. I kid you not, I had to spend that whole day trying not to smile with my teeth or talk to anyone but then in one of my classes I forgot and smiled at someone and they looked at me like what the fuck and then was like “where have your teeth gone”. Keep in mind I was 13-14 so all my teeth should have fallen out and grown back so it was weird. I also regret this moment because I could have pranked them so easily by acting scared and going “oh my god where the hell did they go” but no I had to really say “I forgot them at home”. I FORGOT THEM AT HOME! What the actual fuck. No teen should have to say that they left their teeth at home. I am still recovering from that chat.

But back to what I wanted to talk about today. My pale ass skin. I kid you not, I only have two different options. White as fuck or red as fuck. Yesterday I thought I would switch it up a bit so I got burnt to a crisp. I regret it. Why do I never learn. I literally thought I could wish my way into going tan but instead I look like a fucking stop sign. It was dumb how it happened though because I must have forgotten to put suncream on like half of my legs and I didn’t realize. Like I knew my attention span was shit but I thought I could at least pay attention to this. So I had work after and I was basically cooking the meals on my legs cause they were burning so much and then when I took them off later I thought I was turning into Elmo because those bitches were RED. I basically bathed them in aloe Vera and cried because I am now currently on the way to a beach where the general public are and they can see my bright ass legs. Everyone also seems to have to point them out. Like just when I stop thinking about it someone needs to pop out from the sky and go “OH MY GOD” literally like Janice from friends “YOU ARE GLOWING” and I look at them like no shit Sherlock. I didn’t realize that my legs could double as a flare to attract planes and a heater to toast our sandwiches. Leave me and my burns alone. And of course my twin fans. That cheeky bitch. How did I get the pale skin, invisible eyebrows, missing teeth AND the mental illness 😮

Anyways that is the post and I’m glad to get that off my chest. Please feel free to comment some things you inherited from your parents or whether you relate to some of the things I have. Have fun in the sun and don’t forget suncream bitches. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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Who Else Is Pissed At Forrest Gump’s Mum?

Bitch, I don’t know much about this movie. I mean I’ve watched it and I know the general plot but like the only thing that sticks with me to this day and the phrase that every organism is aware of is when he says “mama says life is like a box a chocolates, you neve’ know what ya gonna get”. What they didn’t specify is the brand the box of chocolates is. This saying basically isn’t motivational to me anymore because I feel like I’ve been given a box of Rose’s chocolates (aka the worst box of chocolates ever) and while I may not always know what I’m gonna get, I know they are all gonna be crap. So to whoever the fuck Gump’s mum is, you need to pick a better quote because that one didn’t help me a bit.

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I mean maybe at first you will be like “I’ve had a few shit ones so far but that surely means I’ll get a great one in no time!” but then after a while you kinda catch on and your like “why the fuck is all of this crap. I quite literally think that chocolate was a pile of dirt. What brand is this anyways? *turns box over* oh for fuck sake it’s a fucking box of roses. WHY WOULD ANYONE BUY THIS SHIT”. I would just like to mention that this isn’t a dig on people who like those chocolates but I just want to say, who hurt you? I mean seriously why do you like them. They are literally a selection of the worst chocolates from all the other elite boxes of chocolate out there. To be fair I haven’t had one in a while but that is because the first one I ever had quite literally tasted like soap so in the context of Forrest Gump’s quote, it was my first traumatizing experience. It kinda is like Turkish delight.

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I have another problem with movie directors and food. Why the hell did they have to make Turkish delight in the Narnia movie look so good. Like he was munching away and I was looking at it like it was my mission in life to try it and taste how good it looks. But then the first time I took a bite, my whole perception of the movie was flipped upside down. He betrayed me. He led to this very moment of me eating this shit. It is literal soap but he makes it look like a proper feast. I think that is where I developed trust issues. It affected me as a person and it has changed me to this day. I can’t look him in the eye anymore when I watch the movie because I just know he is a slithery snake. The thing is though that some people absolutely love that shit. Both roses and Turkish delight and, while I would say they are unstable, it also makes me think that, although my life may be terrible, at least it isn’t so bad that the taste of roses and Turkish delight is better than other things in my life. Just think of that for a second.

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Again, I can’t stress enough that this is a joke and not to attack anyone who like either of these things… well maybe a bit! Jokes, jokes :)…. 😐 But yeah I feel as though somebody had to address it because it is a serious issue and we need to educate our kids that the things we see online aren’t always real. Not all that food is good and we need to protect them from the false tastes that are shown to us everyday. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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Ok, But Like Where’s The Need?

So, with making this blog I wanted to make sure I was completely honest with you guys. I know that makes it sound really scary as though I’m gonna be like “I am Michael Jackson, I in fact did not die” but it isn’t that deep. It’s just a thing that most of us go through but nobody talks about which makes it seem like more of a weird thing. You’ll understand more when I get into this post but lets get started with a quick story time of what I did yesterday that kinda gave me this and you will probably be able to guess where I am going with this.

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So yesterday, I started my first day of work EVER. Like literally my first day of work, and it was in a restaurant, so it was safe to say I was shitting myself. But anyways, I went in absolutely shaking, so much so that they probably thought I was of those air bag people at car sales places that just flap around in the wind, but like during a hurricane. That was kind of a weird description but you get it, right. Anyways, I was nervous and sweaty and in a complete mess. But I tried to keep my composed. Luckily it was just a 3 hour shift. The people there were nice but like you know when you feel like people are being nice because they have to and in reality they don’t want you there. That was my thoughts. And I swear all my hearing went out the door because people would talk to me and, maybe it’s just the masks, but I couldn’t hear shit so would have to ask them to repeat and I would still not understand. I shadowed someone most of the time but when she went on break I felt so out of place and I barely talked to anyone else because I was the youngest and also scared I would do something awkward like be myself 😮

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If I made one mistake I would literally die inside and be like “I canny work a till what the fuck”. I also seem really dumb because I just don’t notice the obvious. Like the one time I spoke to another person was when I was like “is this the large and then the other one is the pint” because the actual large was actual at the back of the shelf and I didn’t really see it. And he was like “that is the regular, the large is this one” and he showed me so I went to try and find it and realised the glasses where fucking labelled so I looked like an idiot because I didn’t see them there. I looked like a dumb blonde in that moment. Also, whenever the forks ran out I was like where are the other forks and she pointed to a bucket of clean forks that was literally right beside me. I really don’t know how I wasn’t fired on the spot for incompetence. Also, I was so shaky that when I had to write down the orders, you could hardly read it and my handwriting is bad on a normal day but this was looking like fucking Latin or some shit because it made no sense at all

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But let’s get onto the main point of this post. From the moment my shift started to 2 pm the next day, I have been feeling so weird. Like I felt sick to my stomache and all the things I did wrong stuck in my head and I was so embarrassed and terrified for my next shift. I was literally still shaking and tense hours after it finished. It took me ages to get to bed that night because no matter what, I would always go back to thinking about how I was rubbish. And you know, I think a lot of people go through that especially at their first job, but in the moment you feel as though you are never gonna be able to work again. I have 3 shifts next week and I am actually so scared and I feel kind of like an impostor or some shit, but I am still gonna go and hopefully it only gets better from here. I mean I’m pretty sure this is as bad as it can get, but knowing me, I can go a lot lower than this, it’s a specialty of mine. lol jokes, but like I hope this is helpful to someone going through something similar or just scary in general and I hope that you have a way to express those feelings. If you don’t, please leave a comment or contact me directly and we can talk about whatever it is and if you are interested you could upload a post on this blog so that others can share their thoughts. It can be anonymous as well obviously.

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Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this post and found it somewhat useful because I know a lot of people can feel this amount of stress and anxiety after some situations, and know that’s ok as long as you share that with someone. But I will see you later for another post, don’t forget to like, share, comment and follow if you enjoyed this content. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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I Hate Genes

To any foetus child out there who is like what the fuck are genes, basically they are the characteristics that we get from our parents and they make up who we are and what we look like. For example, I inherited my dad’s white ass Irish skin which burns like a bitch whenever a bloody … Continue reading I Hate Genes

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“You look just like your dad”

Let’s play a quick game of never have I ever. Never. Have I ever needed to hear that. Never have I ever wanted to hear that. Never have I ever felt good after hearing that. Never have I ever gone to someone’s house and they didn’t say this. Never have I ever been more offended. But literally why do people think that it would be a good thing to say to a teenage girl that they look just like an old, balding, wrinkly, angry, sore backed man. Like seriously what the fuck made you say that. There was actually one time I went to my sisters boyfriends house for some reason and I had never seen his parents before but I kid you not, the first thing they said to me was “you look just like your dad”… what dumb fuckery is that because I didn’t even know he had seen them. Like what the hell. Needless to say, I never saw them again. Highly unappreciated to be honest with you.

The saddest thing is though is that I can see it. Like they aren’t wrong. Did they need to point that out though? No. But they aren’t wrong. One time at New Years there was this thing where you had to guess who was who from their childhood photos. Don’t ask why. But we just did. And I was looking around when my sister called me over and was like “look at this” and so I did. She covered the hair of my dads picture and was like “look”. This bitch really called me out because it literally looked exactly like me. Great start to the new year am I right. Like why the actual fuck did I have to inherit his non-existent eyebrows and his literal 5 head. Not appreciated father.

But yeah, I never get compared to as my Mum but like I guess looking like my dad, while embarrassing, let’s me know I am not adopted because as a child I would be like “Oh mY GoD iM aDoPteD” just because I the only one in my whole family that has blonde hair. What do you guys get compared to. Is there anything other than your parents you get compared to or maybe even a celebrity! The only celebrity I’ve been compared to is the bloody monster from the goonies. He is such a babe though I guess.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this post and make sure to like and comment below if you have anything else to add. I’ll see you tomorrow for more hopefully and I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


The “Magical” Transformation That Happens When You Combine Two Of The Best Brain Reprogramming Technologies

You’ve heard of NLP?

It’s almost cultish.

It stands for neuro-linguistic programming and it’s like someone had taken the best out of all forms of psychotherapy, threw them in a blender and created NLP.

If you don’t get what I’m saying, NLP is two things.

First, it is a way of thinking. It’s a framework for how to approach your life to be more effective. It’s like a philosophy of life based on understanding how your brain functions.

Second, it is a psycho-therapy tool. It’s used to treat phobias and to change beliefs in patients. Some consider it as effective as CBT (cognitive-behavioral therapy) and most say it’s a lot faster than the Freudian school of thought.

Why?

Because at the core of NLP lies hypno-therapy. To be more specific, the “behavioral changing” part of NLP is built on the teachings of Milton Erickson, one if not the most famous hypnotherapists of all times. And you know what hypno-therapy does?

It’s an access, a hack, to your subconscious mind

Let me give you this analogy. Imagine your mind being like a computer. Your conscious mind is accessing programs, turning it on and off and so on. Normal user access. Your subconscious mind is like going into the settings, installing applications, deleting them, adding new users and so on.

It’s the “engine” or the “back room” that controls everything.

Well, NLP is like a hacker that can break the password of your subconscious mind and change there. It allows you to change beliefs and to change who you are, as a person, to your core. It goes to those deep thoughts and ideas you don’t even know you have and makes you act differently by tweaking your basic concepts of self.

It hijacks your subconscious mind, and it does it very well.

And with the use of NLP you can eliminate phobias, you can change basic preferences (as not liking chocolate anymore) or you can even cure wounds from the past, as those from childhood. It’s effective. It works well, and it’s endorsed by some of the best-known authors in the world. Tony Robbins built his career and success on NLP and if you run a survey amongst successful people, you’ll see that many of them are NLP practitioners or masters.

You can’t mess with what works.

So why am I telling you this?

If NLP is like a hacker that tweaks your subconscious mind so you can become the person you want to be, if NLP is like a design tool that allows you to redesign who you are, then brainwave entrainment is a tool that makes it faster and easier.

If NLP is the thief that breaks the lock-pick, then the use of brainwave entrainment with it is like having the best lock-pick in the world, making the process effortlessly.

And what does this mean for you?

It’s simple.

Use them both. Use the amazing power of NLP to change beliefs and self-identity concepts and use the power of brainwave entrainment to help your subconscious mind be receptive and open. Open the door with brainwave syncing and change the furniture with NLP.

A simple way to understand this is music.

Think about it and how easy it has the power to change you. You listen to a song and you’re not even paying attention to the lyrics. And yet, if it’s a sad song, you become sad. If it’s a lively song, it boosts your energy. If you listen it many times, you end up thinking like in the song.

Music is a great example of a tool that accesses your subconscious mind without even realizing. You turn on YouTube and through repetition and emotion, you end up being one with the music.

Have you tried reading a book you had no interest in reading? Maybe for college or work?

You read the words; they are verbalized in your mind but you end up forgetting everything. They “enter one year and exit another”. This is because your subconscious mind is as closed as it gets and learning can not happen in your conscious dimension.

This is why I use NLP in all my tools.

Brainwave entrainment is amazing for helping your mind operate at that higher frequency. They’re like Vitamin C for your life, making everything better. And if you use brainwave entrainment, this is enough to attract, to manifest good things in your life because you’ll be operating at a higher level.

However…

True, lasting change comes not by attracting things in our lives but by changing who we are so those things become a natural order. It’s when we change our beliefs and ideas so we transform into people for whom success and happiness are two natural things.

And this is where NLP works so well. It works for everything from curing phobias of spiders to getting past PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) to program you to be more confident in front of a crowd or to be more assertive with your coworkers.

This is because while short-term wins are great – if you want a successful life, you must become the person who is naturally successful. And the only difference between you and a successful person is that the other one developed the beliefs and identity of such a person. If you develop them too, there’s nothing stopping you from doing just.

I build my program “Manifestation Magic” around NLP.

Each audio contains hidden embedded commands that reprogram your subconscious mind. Like a good hacker, brainwave syncing is opening the path to your subconscious mind while NLP commands are transforming who you are into the best version you could ever be.

These are called “NLP patterns” and they’re designed to be as easy to receive by the subconscious mind as possible. I do this through a combination of pacing, intonation and wording so your mind can accept them as commands, as truth, without getting defensive. It’s like music, just so much more powerful.

Basically, an NLP pattern is what a hypno-therapist would tell you to put you into a trance. It is highly suggestive language that bypasses your rational filters to reach where it matters most, your subconscious mind.

NLP plus brainwave entrainment is like having a hacker change your mind. NLP alone can access your subconscious thoughts but when paired with brainwave entrainment, the results are mind blowing. You can see a real change in days when all other methods you’ve tried for a long time like therapy failed.

This is the secret behind “Manifestation Magic”.

This is why it works. It works because instead of just using brainwave entrainment to help you operate at a higher frequency, at a higher vibration, it also changes who you are at your core. The result is a total personal transformation into the person you’ve always wanted to be but never known how.

Click on the link below to discover more about how “Manifestation Magic” can help you.

>>Get Manifestation Magic Now<<

Weekly Reminder

I’ve heard a lot of people mention something that their therapist once told them to do. They said “the other day my therapist told me to look over at an empty chair and imagine child you sitting on it. They then asked me what I looked like and I said I looked happy and excited. They then told me to imagine that child me was going through the same thing that I am going through now. Again he asked what I looked like, and to that I said sad, lonely. And then my therapist said, what does he look like he needs, and all I could say was a hug”. I pretty much took that directly from a tiktok I saw, but I had heard other stories identical to that one.

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But it’s weird right. We never really look at ourselves that way. It also sometimes seems like we can give advice and support to our friends, but never actually do it ourselves. And it can be really difficult to see it in the way of younger you being in the same situation because it is just a child, but it is still you. And the therapists aim there was to harness what you actually need. What it is you need guidance on so they can help you. I suppose it is also so you can help yourself because you look at your situation as if you were observing your own life. I always find myself joking a lot about me ‘warning’ my younger self. Like if I were to look at a photo of baby me I would joke “she don’t know what the fucks gonna hit her” and I would say stuff like that at all times when talking about younger me or just kids in general. Like there was this one time when I was telling my friends about how my cousin said school sucked because his friend stole his pencil and I was like ‘ah to be 9 and your biggest problem being a pen. Just wait till he gets to high school’. So although I don’t directly say it, I am just dissing how crap my life is at the moment and how shit hits the fan by the time you start into high school. I am sure some of you guys do that at sometimes too because I feel it is a universal joke, especially for gen z’s because we usually use humour to hide how we feel.

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I guess why I wanted to mention this was because I want you to try it. If it isn’t too hard, I want you to look at an empty chair, or an empty space and imagine little you with the pain that you feel right now in their eyes and the same thoughts in their head. Would you treat them like you treat yourself now? Would you tell them they are attention seeking or dramatic? Would you tell them to just ‘disappear’ because they only cause harm? Or would you give them a hug. Hold them tight and tell them that it is going to be ok and you are going to be there for them through it out. Would you get them the help they need? Tuck them up in bed with a nice movie and a bowl of brownies and ice cream. Treat them the way they deserve and show them they are loved. Well, what would you do? You do all the first things to yourself I’m going to guess, but why? You wouldn’t do that to your younger self, but you are still that person. Make sure you look after yourself because although you may think this is ‘the real world’ and you need to just wise up, you are the most important thing in life and you need to look after yourself the way that you deserve. It may be difficult to do but please remember that you are human and life is tough and that’s ok as long as you take care of yourself. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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It’s All About Perspective

Ok guys, we aren’t about to get into some existential shit today because I don’t think I can take that at the moment, but I guess it kinda will be but like to a certain extent, so kinda just be warned about that but lets get started into it. This is another weekly reminder post but I am going to make it around the same vibe as my other posts because I find it hard to… write like I care. That sounds really mean but what I mean by that is that I struggle to not cringe when I try to write a post in an empathetic tone. I know I am disappointing my English teacher at the moment but like I don’t give a shit anyways. So sorry if you prefer reading things that are kinda sad, but I use humor to cope despite the fact my humor is crap so that isn’t the best but like we move. I also don’t know why I am typing all of this because I can guarantee that you don’t give a fuck. But yeah, I feel that when I try to write a post with an empathetic tone, I sound so fake, kinda like all the people in my school. Lets get into it anyways

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I saw this TikTok video yesterday and it was this girl that was replying to a comment that said “how are you so confident” and if I knew who that girl was I would shout her out but I don’t so like deal with it, but anyways, she was so… como se dice… perfect. Like she was a nice confident where she is outgoing but wouldn’t be like “fuck you” to every person who breathes near her. Anyways, that is besides the point, but she literally just said “because nobody fucking cares! In a couple of hundred years everyone on this earth will literally be dead and nobody will remember that thing you said or the clothes you wore or anything because it won’t carry on once we all die”. I mean unless you do something so awful like a proper historical downfall, you shouldn’t change for anyone. Like that person you are changing yourself for is gonna die and so are you so why are you trying to do something for them when eventually it won’t matter at all and you should live the life that you want when you have it.

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I always get a wee bit scared when I talk about doing whatever you want because it won’t mean shit in the future because I always feel people are going to use that as a reason for like killing someone or just doing something awful because “it won’t matter” but like don’t think I am saying that. I don’t want to be responsible for murder, but like you know what I mean. It is the things like caring what other people think about you and stuff like that. Trying to make others happy before yourself and that shit. We are all guilty of doing this and that’s fine because that is what we have learned and it isn’t our fault, but it is also ok because we can fix it, as long as it is for yourself. That is kinda why I like being single at this stage. I mean having someone that actually likes you must be nice, but I like the fact that I am free to fully figure myself out and think about myself as an individual and if a relationship comes from that then it is perfect. But from past experiences I know that having a partner can be kinda restrictive and, at least in my position, I always changed myself to be perfect for him and to not be myself. Maybe if you have a healthy relationship then that is different, but you need to think carefully about who you are with.

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And also, literally if that person remembers it for the rest of their life, maybe they laugh about how you panicked in a school play until the day they die, then that is only one life and you should move on with it because they will die one day and that is it. It won’t become a family tradition to carry on this story. And the embarrassing thing you did, you aren’t the first person to do that. I mean the earth is millions of years old and even in just the past 100 years, there have probably been millions of people that have done the same as you. What you also need to remind yourself is that if someone actually does hang onto that one thing you did ages ago and makes fun of it, they have no fucking life. I mean would a person who actually mattered focus on that thing everyday or would they move on with life and all the opportunities they will come to have. And the people who remember it and therefore have no life, shouldn’t worry you because it doesn’t make you less than them and you know the only reason they remember that is because they have made it their whole personality trait and that is the only bit of information they can actually keep in their pea sized brain.

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So yeah, I hope this boosted your confidence in some way and that you can come to terms with the reality of life and how eventually, just like humans, rumors will die. Stories die and you aren’t weird or dumb for what you did. But yeah, just don’t give a shit and you will be good I guess. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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Going Back To “Normal”

Hey guys, so I haven’t really posted on here in a wee bit but like life happens so deal with it. Anyways, I guess I just wanted to just talk about how today I am kind of transitioning back into a normal, pre-covid, life. And what is it that I am doing you might ask? Well, I am going to be going back to Ju-Jitsu for the first time in forever which is kind of fun but at this point I don’t even know if I am interested in going and that could be because it has been a while or it could also be my mental state lol. A large portion of it is also not being able to body slam people and knock the shit out of them. You don’t really do that in Ju-Jitsu anyways, but like I did karate before and there were fights that you could do and it was actually quite fun. I think the only reason I stopped that was because it was becoming very serious for me and they wanted to put me in world championships and that shit but I am quite a home-bird and also that was around the time I started first year and my mental health was… declining. So yeah, in another world you could have been watching me knock the shit out of someone on the Olympics, but that would be women’s sports so I guess it isn’t that big. LOL THAT WAS A JOKE I SWEAR. I AM A WOMAN AND JUST MAKING FUN OF THE FACT MEN THINK WOMEN’S SPORTS IS BORING.

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But yeah, I think I tried 4 different martial arts classes in my lifetime. I also swear that when I first asked my parent’s if I could start karate I thought I was making up a word but I must have heard it from someone subconsciously and I was so freaked out when they said “sure”. I’m not sure if that was a mistake or not but I did ballet before and that was not my cuppa tea lets just say. I have a really embarrassing story from ballet but I don’t think I will ever tell you what it is. So I don’t know why I just told you that if I am not even going to tell the story lol but yeah it was embarrassing. Do you know what is funny though, and my English teacher would literally eat this up, is that I started my ‘martial arts journey’ in the leisure center and the 4th that I am in now is at the same leisure center! Cyclical structure?! I hate how I thought of that. LETS ANALYZE IT! no. I never have to do that again and I am thankful for that everyday.

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You probably aren’t wondering, but I am going to tell you, why I left each of the classes. They are pretty good stories actually so lets get started

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  1. The first place I went to was at the leisure center and it was for karate. My friend at the time went their too and I was like wow this is so fun. Except for when the grading part came (if you don’t know, this is how you go up the belts). The man that was their was so fucking creepy and there were so many people I didn’t know and the building that it was in was so sketchy and like had the worst vibes. I think a lot of my anxieties formed there. So that was one reason, and literally gave me PTSD to think about, but the other reason was because it was a small class and literally took fucking ages to move up just one belt. I think that for moving up each belt you had to do 2 gradings and then when you got to the higher belts you had to do 4 to get to the next belt. I know the black belt takes a while but like the fucking rest of them!? There was no need. So I left
  2. The second place I went to was probably one of my favorites because the people their were nice, I moved up pretty quickly because, ya know, I was a pro and all that. I stayed there a while and only left because high school really messed me up. I remember one time I literally cried when I was doing one of my gradings because I was so stressed out about everything. It was in a nice hall this time but like was still far from home and different to usual and really just set a bad vibe for the rest of the day. I liked this one a lot because they were obviously serious about it and actually did fighting and shit. There were competitions I went to and did well at and I nearly got to my brown belt I think, but I still remember the last day I went there and I was literally holding back tears and then when I got back to the car my mum was like “what’s wrong” and you know that hits different when you have been holding back tears the whole time, so then I quit. Little did I know that was only the fucking start lmao. High school was not good for me, let me tell you that. But I actually enjoyed it and fully miss it.
  3. The third place was BY FAR the worst of them all. I remember going to it and it was a fucking joke. I should have known from their logo and their fucking clown gees. It was new and my mum was like you need to go because you are good at martial arts and I was like fine and I actually hated it with a passion. They made it seem like they were so cool but they pretty much made up their own fucking martial art. These people spent 30 minutes of the 45 minutes doing warm ups and then the last 15 minutes I was having to work my way through literal fetuses doing random ass moves. They had a fucking grey belt! I might as well leave it there. They fully made up a belt and thought they were doing something. Like bitch just stop. And they would have all these literal weapons that looked like they were from an unrealistic ninja movie. I stayed there way too long and it was honestly embarrassing. People literally send their kids there and think they are gonna become a pro fighter but no, they are just gonna become a joke. So I left that place
  4. The forth place. The place I am at now. The place that I like despite a few different complications. The people there, to start, are mainly nice, but there are a select few who I… dislike strongly and would happily knock out. I am on my purple belt actually so have been there a while. The people are nice and, unlike the third place, they are official and not a joke. I am starting back today and the only reason I am not looking forward to it is that you aren’t even allowed to throw people so there quite literally will be nothing to do, but it’s fine. There are other reasons too but I think I have insulted my peers enough today.
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Anyways, that is all I can be bothered to talk about today. Lets hope it all goes well and I can control my emotions well enough. I am also not very fit after all that time off so literally watch me get the reddest face ever lmao. Are you guys starting anything normal at the moment or are a lot of your hobbies still closed? Leave your answer in the comment section below, I would love to hear what you are doing. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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The “Magical” Transformation That Happens When You Combine Two Of The Best Brain Reprogramming Technologies

You’ve heard of NLP? It’s almost cultish. It stands for neuro-linguistic programming and it’s like someone had taken the best out of all forms of psychotherapy, threw them in a blender and created NLP. If you don’t get what I’m saying, NLP is two things. First, it is a way of thinking. It’s a framework … Continue reading The “Magical” Transformation That Happens When You Combine Two Of The Best Brain Reprogramming Technologies

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Weekly Reminder – You Are a Bad Bitch

The past couple of weeks my weekly reminders have been more low-key but this week I want to liven it up a bit you know. Like I want to remind you guys how absolutely awesome you are and how you should not give a fuck what other people think because you are the shit. So welcome to my TED talk bitches, let’s get it started.

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How many times this past week did you give a fuck? It’s ok if it’s a lot. Mine is quite a lot. Now, my task for you this week is to lower this right down. Let’s get it down to a half of the fucks you gave. So if you cared about what other’s thought of you etc. around 20 times, lets lower this to 10 times. It may seem like a stretch, but catch yourself when you start to care about what other’s are thinking because that wastes so much of your time and they don’t deserve that. I am not gonna say that life is short because it really fucking isn’t but despite that, you ain’t got any time to give away so stop wasting time on the people who don’t matter. And it is natural for people to make question what they wear or get a bit anxious, but just look at yourself in the mirror and talk to your reflection as though you are hyping up your best friend who is feeling the way you do. Tell your reflection that it is the most beautiful thing in the world and that nobody deserves you. Tell it that it shouldn’t give a fuck about what other’s think because they are the most important thing in the world and everyone else is just jealous. It may feel a bit awkward at first and I know that it will but that is how you should be talking to yourself anyways. You shouldn’t be your own worst enemy.

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I can tell that whoever is reading this right now is an absolute beast because, well, you are on the best blog in the world, but also because you are still here. Like how fucking badass is that. You are walking away from a fucking bomb that was 2020 and you may still be in the fire but you are still going. Pandemic? Got nothing on you. School? You can get through it. Life? That shit sucks but I’m getting there. I don’t think that you fully appreciate how awesome you are because I know that others or yourself may downplay what you go through, but by just thinking about this past year, I already know that you are literally elite. You are gonna be the cool grandparent or older person that gives all the best advice, is absolutely hilarious, has awesome stories about living in a pandemic (despite the fact we might oversell it to sound more dramatic), you are gonna change the world just by existing and some day you will walk down the street and know that, although others may not see it yet, you are a freaking star.

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I am not sure if any of you guys have heard this quote before by Mother Teresa. It is pretty good and I think about it every so often because it is so simple yet means so much. She says

"We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop ...
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Isn’t that quite good. Like it just shows that no matter how small you think your impact on the earth is, it is still significant. If you weren’t here there would be that much less than if you were. It all adds up and although you may not see it, every thing matters and if we lost you, we would be a you short. We would be missing a you and that will affect things. You are a part of a big thing and your presence is appreciated. I guess you could also link it to the butterfly effect where, if small thing happens like a butterfly flapping it’s wings, it leads to something bigger, like a hurricane. It may seem a bit weird, but it is true. If we missed a you then throughout the years life would be so different especially in the lives of the ones you love. Because you are here the world is so much different and I want you to know that you do have a meaning, you are so important, you do make an impact and your life does matter.

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Don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise because you are a blessing and you need to keep shinning because one day you will finally realise your strength and the world won’t seem so tough anymore. When you realise your worth, you won’t take any shit and you can live life they you want and make the decisions that make you the happiest I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Read some more posts

How to Learn to Sing!

Have you always wanted to become a singer? Many people dream of singing, but few take the steps required to learn. Here are some quick tips that will teach you how to learn singing, on your own or with assistance: <a href=”allylav” rel=”nofollow”><img src=”https://singorama.com/wp-content/uploads/Banner-duo.gif&#8221; width=”336″ height=”280″ border=”0″ /></a> How to Learn Singing – Before You … Continue reading How to Learn to Sing!

Weekly Reminder

I’ve heard a lot of people mention something that their therapist once told them to do. They said “the other day my therapist told me to look over at an empty chair and imagine child you sitting on it. They then asked me what I looked like and I said I looked happy and excited. … Continue reading Weekly Reminder

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How I Would Describe Earth To An Alien

What is earth? Firstly, it’s not flat. But shit, that’s a tough one. In one perspective, it is so large but so absolutely minuscule and insignificant in the grand scheme of things, yet it makes up everything we see and do and live for. It is a floating rock rotating around a ball of gas that is moving at unknown speeds through a large vat of nothingness, but yet everythingness (if that is even a word). It is such a miraculous thing to see and learn about and it is placed in the perfect place for life and intelligence to form which is absolutely crazy but… then comes the other perspective. There is life in that insignificantly significant flying rock. There are people who live in it like it is normal. There are people who live in it like it is not a scientific wonder. And sadly that is a lot of them. You see Mr alien, a lot of people, including myself, hate that rock. They hate it so much that they it ruins there life and they loose sight of it’s beauty. The earth is a cruel place and has so many rules and problems and such awful memories lie in it.

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You see, there are people in there who have chosen to own the land and create rules so they can control us. Don’t get me wrong, they have done pretty amazing stuff. Like you can send an image from one side of the world to the other in less than a second. And you can fly in a rocket to the moon. But the people on earth like to focus on the negative for some reason. They always put the negatives as the headline of the news. The news is thing that is shown around the world, telling us what is happening. Or at least they are meant to. They usually just put in what they want us to hear and not what is important. But anyways, they like to remind us of how terrible life is, and very rarely to they just say “a lot of things are happening in the world, but you need to remember that if we all stick together, we can get through this”. I guess that would be hard though because, and I forgot to tell you this, certain people down there think they are better than others. Why? I don’t know, I think it is stupidity and ignora… oh, well it is to do with race, religion and beliefs, just to name a few. You see there is this book called the bible that people misunderstand and they use this to justify their points, when in reality they are just bad people who are really going against the bible, the very thing they live for. But yeah, there are people of different colours on earth, and that’s just because the colour of our skin has evolved over so many years to look different depending on what country or part of the world you live in or your ancestors lived in. It is completely natural and everybody is still a human, but some people decide that, because they are white, they are superior. You see, on earth, they have created an image of what a perfect human being is. A straight, white manly man. But that isn’t true, yet some people live by that and it breaks the world apart. So many things have been normalised on earth, yet there is no ‘normal’. It is confusing to explain I guess.

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Also on earth, the people live a pretty routine life. They are born, and at the age of only 3-4, they are put into these things called school. It is where they go to learn all types of things like math, English, science and art. What? No, it lasts for at least 14 years, not just 1. Huh? No, they don’t like it. In fact, it kind of ruins things for them. We teach them everything and they are then judged of a letter on a piece of paper. I would say a majority of it is useless. I mean it is good to know how to read and add but I don’t really remember the last time I had to work out the circumference of a circle. And yeah, pretty much there self-worth and there future relies on the first years of their life. And it destroys there mental health like nothing else. Yup, because of stress, peer pressure, expectations, the fear of the future, and that is only naming a few. And yet, unlike everything else in the world, it has not changed. They are still taught in rows, everyone taught the same way, the same schedule, the same expectations. We don’t know why, but for some reason they don’t want to catch up. Now, I don’t have long because I need to get back home, but just let me simplify this for you. The world is such a confusing and wonderful place, but the people inside have stripped it of it’s worth and meaning. They have made so many things in an effort to protect and improve it, but in reality it makes us loose sight of what really matters. It makes us hate the entirety of the earth and it’s content. It is a wonderfully, terrifyingly, painfully confusing place. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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What My Study Schedule Looks Like | Honest Edition

Bitches, this is gonna be one small post because really there is not much to say, but hopefully that makes some of you feel more relaxed because you can look at this and think, well, at least I am not as bad as her. Or, you never know, we could be the exact same and we will become best friends. However, if you are my teacher, this is a joke *winks dramatically*. So yeah, time to expose myself I guess.

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In School

I have to say, I do actually stick to this ‘schedule’ so I am going to take that as a positive. But yeah, so this is the studying that I do when we have nothing to do in class and we have a test that day, or when the teachers have had enough of us (I don’t blame them, some of them are actually doing my head in)

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  • First on the list, I get my earphones out, you know, get the study playlist going. Motivation is at top level right now and you have your books out, your in the work mindset, kinda, and I start making a wee bit of a mind map for like 5-10 minutes. At this point, I think I am the revision goddess, literally so elite and I feel I will pass all my exams. But then comes the next part
  • I’m working thinking, surely like 25 or 30 minutes have passed already, this will be easy. I look up and only 3 minutes has one passed. I scream internally which, to the people who are looking at me, would think I literally just saw the ghost of fucking Christmas past or something. Then I go back to work, and at this point my motivation has dropped by, probably 75% already. So not too well. My writing is getting sloppy, I am not actually focusing on what I am writing. The music is like the theme song for my life, and my sole has basically been sucked out of me.
  • Now it is time to have a complete mental breakdown. I usually try to pencil that in for a round 20 minutes before class ends, because that lets me crash so low, but not low enough that I can’t act like everything is totally fine. At this point, I have squiggled all over my page in rage (that rhymed lol) and my pen is no longer in my hand. The music and my thoughts are the only things I am concentrating on right now and it probably looks like I am having a staring competition. These are the moments I literally want to die and, if this was high school musical, the dances would be so fucking insane.
  • The bell rings, I try to pick up all the peaces of my broken brain, pack up, and act like human being and say something like “that was boring” or “I actually did something that class” when in reality, nothing changed and I did fuck all, but at least my coast is clear and I nobody will know that I lost around 50% of my brain cells and overall will to live.
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At home

This really could just fit into one bullet point and that is not an exaggeration. It is also quite a rare occasion so I really needed to use my brain power to remember what I did. I am literally meant to be revising right now, but… Mum, if you are reading this, I am sorry. I just really… don’t give a fuck.

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  • Time to get the books out. I always pick the test I have for the next day, or the same day if I want to be a bit risky. And again, I don’t always revise the day before. So I get the books out, I have a quick panic attack because I realise this is my life and I hate it and I don’t know anything and I don’t know how to revise and I don’t know what topics it on and I don’t want to do this anymore. Then I get some pen and paper
  • By now, I am mentally numb enough to start. This last for like 5 minutes because I then go for a wee pee break you know. This usually lasts a while because I just go on my phone and cry and I am really scared to leave lol
  • I get back and I quickly look at this pile of crap, me, and then at the one on the table. I scan through each page with lightening speed and then make myself think that I know it all and I will be fine. Knowing very well I don’t even know what subject I have in front of me. Once I have convinced myself I know everything. I pack it away, go back to bed and cry because I actually know fuck all and I am really stressed about it but I can’t bring myself to actually do anything about it because I feel it is a waste of time and I am not going to succeed either way. Or something like that anyways.
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So yeah, these are my study schedules. Do I recommend them? No. Do I stick by them? Yes. And I always will. You see, I actually don’t want to do school. Pretty much, my only passion is hating school, which is surprising to people as I am usually labelled as a smart person, or as they say in NI, a ‘sweat’. But in reality I am just a big ball of stress that want’s to please others at my own cost and at the moment I am about to burst so yeah. Quite fun, right! Anyways, I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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The “Snowflake” Generation | Time For The Truth

Lately this whole “snowflake generation” thing has become a universally known term to describe Gen z. They say it because we are to sensitive or fragile, because, well, I guess we take things too seriously or we are too awkward to do certain things like standing up for ourselves. And I know that you are all going to comment things like “complaining about being a snowflake makes you a snowflake” and “wow they really are sensitive” but I just kinda wanted to shed a little light on what I, a Gen Z, think of the title.

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The other day we were talking about some of the words that we can’t say for obvious reason. For example, as a white person there are words I can’t say and other things like that. And then the adults were kind of talking about how “you can say these words just don’t say them to other people” and they were talking about how we can say it. Now I just looked at them so confused because they were rambling on about this, and if I said anything about it, such as “we don’t have the right to say that whether or not it is in a song, or a book or a general conversation”, I would be hit with the “your such a snowflake lol” and that would be the conversation over. But that just really annoys me because I feel like that is just the right thing. Just a way to educate people that despite the fact you think it is ok to say certain things, it really isn’t and we need to change how we act sometimes. So for me at least, I don’t think that standing up for what is right shouldn’t be labeled as being too fragile. Maybe our generation is trying to teach the older generations that times have changed and we want to start improving certain things that they would have seen as normal.

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I also find that my way of talking to my friends or my sisters is a lot different to how older generation do it. Like, me and my sister could be just being sarcastic and ‘mean’ to each other, but like in a jokey way, and my mum would be raging and saying we should be nicer, but that is just how we communicate. We tend to make a lot more jokes than other people and they don’t take that very well. For example, my dad came in and was talking about something that he made sound really dramatic but pretty much was just about how his friend bought something in the shop or something like that and I was like “wow that was such a great story dad”, but like sarcastically and he was so offended. I just looked at him and back at my sister and I was so confused because it was pretty obviously a joke. And then whenever my sister would be like “that garden is so ugly” or something random like that, I would go “you’re so ugly” and then we just laugh it off. Basically we say random jokes and kind of shows that we are close enough and respect each other enough to do that, but then my parents would literally be calling a therapist because she thinks I am bullying her or something. So if we really are “snowflakes”, then why would we be talking to each other like that. We don’t even take offense to it, but the older generation do. So who is the snowflake now bitches.

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My other argument for it is that I feel like a lot of people call us snowflakes because of our mental health situation. Like all the Karen’s will be talking about how everyone is depressed or mentally ill because we take things so seriously and we just need to relax, but then they ignore the actual reason so many of us are mentally unstable. Let me just name 5 points for now, just as a wee eye opener ok. There is school, social media, global warming, pandemic, meeting parents expectations… oh wait we are at 5 already. Damn, I didn’t even get warmed up. Now you can look at that list and think “well we went through multiple of those things too” and yes, you did, well done, but times have changed since you were at school and there are more pressures and problems at the moment. In the past, you didn’t have to pay for university. You didn’t have social media which is so confusing and impactful in our lives. You had global warming but you kind of caused it and didn’t change things when you could and now you are leaving it all up to us to fix it and also blaming us for it. You weren’t told that we only have to 2050 before it is controllable. Unless you are over 100 years old, you have never been in a global pandemic. You have most likely not had pretty much all of your important school years at home, where you had to teach it to yourself and nothing stayed normal for more that 1 hour. And the last one, parents expectations, you guys did have this too and I know that. It was a big one for all of us but I put it in just to remind you that we don’t try to disappoint you, no matter what we do. I know for a fact that we all want to make you proud, and that can be stressful sometimes. So maybe think about the real reason behind our mental state before you go off blaming it on the fact we are too sensitive, because maybe you should blame it on the fact we are too tired.

So you can call us snowflakes if you want, but snowflakes make an avalanche and that is what we are. Our generation is going to make a change and we are going to create something strong and powerful. I know that is cheesy as fuck, but I think it makes sense. Maybe as individuals we seem “fragile” but when we are all together, there is nothing stopping us PERIODT.


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I Want You All To Know…

There is something that I wanted to talk about that we all know of already, just maybe we don’t all recognise it. I want to bring it to your attention because I think it is really important to understand and be aware of.

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Lately, life has been like walking through concrete, and it is like that for a lot of us. Every step is so exhausting and sometimes you feel like you should just stop trying and let yourself get trapped in it. This whole year we have been told continuously that “everyone is going through the same thing. We aren’t alone and we know exactly how you feel”. I have to admit, I have said this a lot too and sometimes, although people say it in a supportive and positive way, it doesn’t always help. “we know exactly how you feel”. Let’s talk about that for a second. This pandemic has affected the whole world, yes. The impact of it has affected every single one of us, I know that. But nobody knows exactly how you feel. I am sure that if someone actually knew ‘exactly’ how you felt, they wouldn’t just be doing a year assembly or a one minute motivational talk before they go off teaching you about animal cells. I know that if someone where to know ‘exactly’ how you feel, they would be be doing a lot more than they are right now.

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So why did I even say that? To make you feel lonely? To make you feel weird? No. I said it because sometimes whenever we think some crazy stuff that can seem scary, and someone says it is normal, we begin to play it off and think that it is this bad for everyone. Then you might begin to feel weak because you can’t handle all the things that supposedly everyone goes through. But that isn’t true. Yes we have all been through the pandemic, but we haven’t all been through the same thoughts and trials. Not one of us have had the same emotions and same feelings and thoughts as you and I don’t think we ever will. And I want you to know that if you are struggling, then it doesn’t matter if it is normal or not because you deserve help. Even if it was normal, everyone would need help. But the truth is, the things you are going through are not normal. But that is ok, as long as you talk about it with someone. Try to figure it out with someone. People just say the whole “we know how you feel” thing as a way to show they are here for you. They don’t know a damn thing about what you are going through so don’t let what they say get to you.

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You can also see it in another way. Nobody has any clue what anyone is going through. So while you might think that you are the only one having a really difficult time, one of the loud guys at the back of the class could be depressed or have troubles of your own. The school bully could be having family problems. I mean it doesn’t excuse what they do but they life probably isn’t perfect either. This can be a bit confusing for people as well because then they think that if everyone is going through something, it is fine to struggle, but that isn’t true. It just means that more people need help. We can’t compare ourselves to others, especially when it come to mental health because we have no way of knowing how they feel and what they are going through. It is literally impossible to do that.

So I guess, to wrap up this weeks weekly reminder, just know that you don’t have to stay quiet because “everyone feels this way” because that is completely false. But also to know that you aren’t a weirdo for feeling how you feel. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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Weekly Reminder

I don’t know about you guys, but this week has been tough as shit for me. This whole week I have been waiting to post a weekly reminder because there is something I have want to say to you. It’s something that you probably haven’t heard this week, or this month, but I want to say this to you and I want you to understand that I genuinely mean it, ok? And despite the fact this post is public, it was made for you directly because I know you need it.

I am so proud of you. I admire you so much for being able to make it to this very moment. Despite the pain and the exhaustion you have felt, you have made it do far and although others may not recognise it, I am so proud and thankful that you have made it this far. A lot of times, whenever we ‘joke’ about making it to another day, people shrug it off as though as though living is a piece of cake, but I recognise that living each and every day is a chore for you and that I am so happy you keep going.

Although you may. Not recognise it, there are so many people that need you every day. There are people who you have helped just by being there and it is difficult to see how much you mean to people, but you have to trust that you mean so much to the world. No matter if you just stay in bed all day, you have accomplished so much by just being here. Now don’t take that as me saying it is fine for you to live that way because it is obvious you need help from a professional, but don’t down play the fact that you are so strong.

This was just a small weekly reminder, but if you are to only remember one thing today, make it this. You are so strong and you mean so much to this world. I am proud and inspired by you. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


I Need Your Help

Hi, if you don’t know me, I am a straight white teenage girl with no disabilities and just a mental health problem. What does that mean? That means that the only discrimination I have faced is being a woman. Now, there has been problems with sexism at the moment, but over all I have got it pretty easy. But I want to use that to help others too. And the only way I really know how to do that would be to use this platform to get people to listen.

That is where my next problem comes into play. How am I supposed to help when I know very little about what you guys go through and what YOU want me to do. Because I could write a whole essay about equality, but it would do fuck all because I don’t know what you guys really want us to do. So please, no matter what it is that you go through, whether it is a disability, race, sexuality, anything, can you please comment below something that you guys want us, the people who are can use your privilege to help, to do in order to help you guys or just be aware of certain things. You can leave a story about a time where you were discriminated against and say what you would have wanted someone to do to help, or just state anything. If you are comfortable of course.

I’m going to admit, I know very little about what others go through but I want that to change. I mean I am a sympathetic person but I also feel stuck on what to do and sometimes I can be a bit ignorant. On TikTok there was this guy with a stutter and was talking about how saying “did I stutter” was insulting. And I had said these before and didn’t think anything from it. So please educate me and everyone else on the internet because although we will never know what you go through and how you feel, I want to be able to do the most I can to make you feel safer or more included in the world.

So I am sorry if I sound like your basic bitch trying to get clout or something. This is not a trend, this is a real life problem and I would appreciate it so much if you guys could help spread awareness. But yeah, that is pretty much it. Just know that you are perfect just the way you are. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


“It’s Only 5 Weeks”

This is the phrase that I get told every single time that I talk about not wanting to get back to school. I complain and to try and comfort me they say, it is only 5 weeks and then you can have summer off. Yeah, that is easy to say when you aren’t in it. But it isn’t JUST 5 weeks because what is in those weeks that is so fucking scary and I don’t know how they will go.

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So as most of you will know, I am in my GCSE years, meaning that all order and security has just jumped out the window, and soon I will be following if they don’t figure this shit out. Let me tell you what are in the next 5 weeks. The first week. This one will be fine I guess. I only have 1 test but the thing I am not looking forward to is the multiple teachers shouting at me for not doing my homework because I literally have given up, or in other words, I don’t give a fuck. So that week will be riveting I guess you could say. Now we go to week 2. Where should I fucking start? Maybe with the fact that on Monday I have 3 tests. I swear they said that wasn’t allowed, but we move. Except they are literally all one after the other. I also have three more that week which is not ideal. I mean I guess it would be fine if I was prepared but… well… I am not. Do you know what else? I don’t even care. Wow I sound like such a rebellious teen, but in a less fun way, I have desensitized myself from caring because I feel like it is still going to be cancelled or, by some miracle, I will pass the exams. Please tell me I am not the only one that feels like no matter what, I will fail, so why try and put effort into it because it will only hurt more. So yeah that is the plan currently

Right, I am not going to go and list all the weeks now because you kinda get the gist don’t ya. Over all, saying that it is only 5 weeks angers me to the max because there is so much more to it. I already know that my mental health will get even worse, somehow. And then, just like everyday, we won’t be recognized for it and we will have to go through our day like normal, with the judgement of teachers as they see you don’t know shit. I have to say, I am lucky enough to have some genuinely nice teachers, but they still don’t understand us fully. They only understand the hardship of zoom classes, to an extent, but they are over now. They seem to have literally forgotten that our life isn’t all about school. I know that it is my fault for not starting revision, but I swear to god, if they ask “who has been revising” and everyone puts their hand up, I will be crying, so get ready.

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And then, when all the tests are done and over with, I still have to spend the next weeks panicking about how I am gonna fail and end up on the streets and being shunned from society. Those 5 weeks are just the start of it and those 5 weeks determine my whole future, how I turn out, what I become, my mental health, everything. So excuse me if I complain about this a bit because I have tried my best to stay calm through this whole global panini, but now I am getting stressed, I don’t know what to do, how to start, what to learn, anything. And I am getting no answers no matter how much I ask and look for the solution. Trust me, if it was as easy as sitting down for an hour and reading, I would do it… maybe. But the point is that whenever I say something is bothering me, it mostly likely means it is eating me inside because I don’t always like to complain. Our whole generation has been too quiet for too long so don’t ignore us if we are scared for something because it can mean so much for us that you will never understand. I am shitting myself for these 5 weeks and there is so much more to it that I can’t explain it, but just try to be nice to the teens in your life because I know for A FACT that they aren’t having a good time at the moment. Whether there is a lot to do, or we blow things out of proportion, it is equally as stressful and just saying to “relax” and “it is only 5 weeks” will not help. Please try to be more sympathetic to all of us and give us time to deal with this. Our future rides on this and yet we don’t have the strength to try. It is frustrating, I will tell you that for free, but we aren’t robots and we need to do things our own way.

So yeah, that was a tad bit of a rant to be honest, but over all, I am terrified and I have no words to describe it. I have played so many outcomes in my mind and none of them are good. Although I am trying my best, my best isn’t very good at the moment. We don’t want to let you down either. But yeah, if you are an adult out there, just be a bit kinder and sympathetic. And if you are a teen, you aren’t alone, take as much time as you need to get through this and try to take one day at a time. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.


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Weekly Reminder

Hey guys, another week has gone by and for a lot of us, we may be going back to school next week. Well, I am anyways. I have a total of 18 exams in the next 5 weeks, all which goes towards my GCSEs (aka decides my future) so to say I am scared would be an understatement. Have I revised? No. Will I revise? I have no clue bitch. But I guess I just want to make this weekly reminder about the fact that, just because you are finding revision and school hard to get done, doesn’t mean you are lazy or dumb. Here’s what I mean

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For the past year we have been chucked left and right, up and down, with no support or recognition. Yes, the government say they “understand” us, but they fucking don’t. Yes I can hear that they seem sympathetic, but answer me this, what have they done about it? What teenager have they seriously talked to about how they have been affected? What have they solved? Well, for the UK, the answers are, they have brought all the exams forward with little understanding of what we are being tested on or help with the topics. They have asked no teenager about their feelings and have just went off of stereotypes like “the reason they are struggling is because they are on their phone all day” or “they just don’t like school and that is why they are failing, they need to grow up”. And to answer, what have they solved… I have no fucking clue. I guess they are trying to give us a fair shot on predicted grades. Oh wait, but they gave us no warning of tests, with little preparation while a lot of us are in an unhealthy mental state. Hmm, I guess they eventually got us all back into school. Oh, but we have been bombarded with work and stress and little time to breather or settle in. You see, the thing with our generation is that we don’t openly show our emotions, or at least not in a way other generations would understand. I don’t know about everyone else, but for me there is a bad stigma around struggling mentally and when we speak up about an issue, it is seen as “disrespectful”. Then when everything gets to much and a tragedy happens, they wonder why we didn’t speak up and so they have an assembly. Then the cycle starts again. We miss a homework, the teacher gets mad, we tell them it is because we are struggling, they ignore us, something bad happens, they never learn from their mistakes.

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You see, when you miss a homework, or when you don’t have the energy to revise, it is OK. And I don’t care what your mum, dad, carers, teachers, anyone, says because they have no fucking clue what is going on. Not the faintest fucking idea. And I have no clue what your situation is right now, but I know that there is something going on in your life. Whether it is just Corona or something else, you have something going on and I hear you. Don’t let anybody make you feel weak for the way you feel, or downplay the severity of your problems because it is not your fault and you need to know that. Shit happens, but for you, too much shit has happened. I am sure missing homework or failing exams is the least of your worries and that is just how these feelings are being expressed. Yet nearly every teacher is blind to that fact. They don’t see you thoughts, they don’t know your story, they don’t see the real you. So no matter how much they harass you, just understand this isn’t your fault and I am not gonna promise you it will get better soon because I don’t fucking know. I sure hope it does, but I can’t promise that. All I can say is that you aren’t alone. You have your whole class behind you, you have me behind you and no teacher can fully understand what you are feeling at the moment. Maybe you don’t even understand, that’s ok though. Life has been changing every single day since the beginning of 2020. News changes, families change, school changes, our routine changes. And just when we feel a bit settled in to one way of life, it is shifted. I know that for me, one of the many reasons I struggle with doing things such as homework or studying is because I feel as though it is going to change, as though I will start to revise and it will all be cancelled. As though I will have to go through all the mental pain of school and then all the mental pain of realizing it was all a waste. These past years have been filled with so much pain and we just don’t want that to continue any longer.

So, if you were to take one thing from this post, let it be the power to not let people make you believe that you are just lazy and that you are overreacting, but that you are confused and tired or the changes and pain. You are so strong and not doing homework doesn’t diminish that. Don’t let ANYBODY tear you down or make you feel less of yourself. Do you realise how much you have gone through to get to this moment? It is amazing how you have made it this far. Nobody knows your journey apart from you, so don’t let them write your future. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.


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Weekly Reminder

Hey guys, so I just wanted to say well done for getting through this week. I am sure there has been a pile of new challenges for all of you guys but the fact you are here to read this is amazing. I also kind of just wanted to make a point of saying thank you to all of you because we have made it to 167 followers! I feel so blessed to have all of you supporting me and I feel like I have 167 friends now. It kind of shows me that we are all going through something tough and need someone to be there when we go through it and I am so happy to be that person for you guys.

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But I want you to realise something from this achievement too. My followers come from all over the world, yet they have similar emotions and thoughts and problems. We always feel alone in this world and although this group is only a very small fraction of it, it just proves that you aren’t doing any of this by yourself. I hope you realise that no matter what, all of us have your back and no matter what happens we will support you. I feel like all you guys are good people. You aren’t racist, you aren’t trump supporters, your not homophobic, and you are accepting of everyone, so please feel free to use this as an outlet for your feels. Please feel free to email me at periodts01@gmail.com if you want to create a post to put on my sight. I would love to see the perspective of other people going through different journeys because I know that I can’t relate to all of you guys but I want to spread the word that you aren’t alone. And of course, if you want me to I will make it an anonymous post. I will not take all the credit for your work but if you want I will just say it is from an anonymous creator.

But yeah, just for this weeks weekly reminder, try to keep it in mind that although this earth may feel lonely as hell, I promise you there are other’s out there who are ready to listen to what you have to say, to be there for you, that want you to be there. But please do comment and subscribe so we can be lonely together. Because I don’t know what you are going through, you don’t know what I am going through, but we can still stick together and get through this together. I am going to say the cliche ‘there is a light at the end of the tunnel’ because, although it is bloody frustrating, it is also true, and the people who care about you are willing to wait at the end of the tunnel for as long as you need.

Can I also recommend a book to you guys. It is written by a famous tiktoker from New Zealand who has went through so much shit in her life. She wrote a book about her experiences with depression and the things she had to go through. Her tiktok is Jazzthornton_ and please go check her out and her book she is such an inspiration and it brings hope into the lives of many. Click on the picture and you can get one now

Thank you so much for reading. I hope this helps and please like, follow and comment if there are things you would like to share. Quick disclaimer that this is an affiliate link however I truly do recommend that you guys read this book. It is so inspiring. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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‘What The Fuck’ Moments I’ve Had

In my 15 years of life, I have surprisingly a lot of good stories. I can look back at them now and think why the fuck did I not body slam that person? So yeah are a few of these moments, enjoy lol

The Day I Was Born

So I was born and the first thing I thought was, “the AUDACITY of this bitch to birth me”. I think if I were to go through this again I would definitely decide not to become an embryo

Concert

So this was a few years back. And before you think I am such an outgoing person, this was with my dad, sister and her friend so I’m not that popular. Anyways, so I was just vibing, as you do, and then this old man was proper hammered and he was going around literally jumping on people as though they were his best mates. As a teen girl I was already a tad bit skeptical so I tried not to give him any attention. Then he came up literally dancing away and then he stopped, leaned back, put his glasses down a wee bit and then bloody LOOKED ME UP AND DOWN and here was me literally terrified and I was like what the fuck do I do. But then finally he left and I was like, I defo should’ve absolutely slammed his face. But yeah lol, getting hit on my an ancient old man really is not the thing I was wanting.

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Lady Like

This story actually happened in school a couple years ago. Me and my friend went throw this annoying phase where we kept trying to trip each other up and then I went to trip her up in the line to get to class and then one of the ICT teachers walked by me and was like ‘that’s not very lady like’. I looked back at him like, I would beat you up if you weren’t an adult or my teacher. Not lady like bitch I wasn’t trying to. The audacity of men scares me

Making My Way Down Town

Lol this was actually last year (why do I keep saying when everything happened as if you give a fuck) and it was a really warm day for once so ya know, me and my friends were having the summer vibes. They were having a hot girl summer, but not me LOL anyways, so yeah, we were like, lets go be basic white girls and get ourselves some iced coffee. While we were walking down IN BROAD DAYLIGHT ON A BUSY STREET, this man walks up beside us and starts talking to us about ‘where you going’, ‘I really like this place’. Bare in mind he was like late 40’s and we are like 15-16 so we were a bit sketched out as you would be. So we kind of stopped for a second to see if he would leave, he didn’t so we were like ‘fuck it’ and we just went to get coffee. This man FOLLOWS us in and just waits at the front door as we order. Then we sit down with our drinks and starts talking to us. We kinda scared but don’t wanna show it obviously, and finally he walks out again. That man didn’t even buy a drink so I don’t know what the fuck he thought he was gonna do. So yeah, that happened.

We Care, Buuuuuuttt…

Ok, this was 2 days ago literally. This had me literally crying in class. That’s not a joke, I just had tears. Here I was in English class, that says enough already, and she had another bloody talk about how we are going through so much. Wait, the first thing is that she literally goes on about the fact that we don’t even have it bad. Bitch! Why? You know that isn’t true right? Anyways, then that bitch went on to say, ‘you know that book you haven’t looked at in like a year and you have already done a bunch of tests on? Well we just randomly decided that you need to write an essay on it because you don’t give a flying fuck about you guys.’ So yeah, I cried and now and fully want to jump out the window 🙂

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These Boys Ain’t Shit

So my first relationship was kind of… how will I put it? Utter shit, yes that’s what I was looking for. When I tell you I could write a book on this man, I mean it. But I am gonna name 2 things. So, I planned for us to go out to a movie with him after weeks of trying to get him to find time for me and then the day before this man texts me saying he can’t make it and I was like ‘why’ and he was like BECAUSE I NEED TO WATCH STAR WARS WITH MY DAD. This is no joke, he said that. He dad wasn’t sick or anything, they had all watched star wars already so there was absolutely no reason to watch it. I said ok because I thought that is what I deserved in the relationship LOL. And the second one. We were in a relationship for 2 years +. I hated it at that point because I thought I was such a bad person and that’s why he never messaged me. Tell me why the literal first time he texted me first was to break up with me. Yup, he broke up over text. The only thing I regret is not being the one to dump him

Fire At Grannies House

Ha! So when I was a literal foetus, it was Christmas and I had my cousins round and we were all at my grannies. Just for context, these were the cousins on my mum’s side so you know it was a good time. We made a fort, we played mums and dads, all that jazz. Then we went to play with legos, as you should. Then my dad is just outside the door like ‘hmm, I smell fire’:o Tell me why there is a fucking fire ball in the living room! I’ll tell you why. We left a pillow on top of one of the lamps and that bitch was blazing. The thing is, it was right next to the curtains so my granny’s house was close to being on fire but luckily it didn’t. And then it was just me and my cousins watching our uncles carry out this crisp pillow and lamp. Ah memories

Anyways, they are just a few of the stories I have. I hope you enjoyed them because some are quite funny, other’s are just a bit concerning to be honest. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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Weekly Reminder

Hey guys, so listen, I know that for a lot of us out there, this week has been so fucking tough and I know that you don’t have the words or the energy to explain how you feel but I have an important message that I really want you to hear and I promise I will keep it short.

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Whenever you tell someone ‘I am really tired and struggling this week’ and they say ‘yeah everyone is at the moment’, I just want you to know that, although it is true, that doesn’t take away the fact that you deserve to get help with your thoughts. Just because a lot of people are struggling, doesn’t mean that that makes your situation any less because it still affects your life just as much as before. You need to focus on yourself and realise that it is ok to not be ok as long as you get help. Don’t think that it is ok to struggle like you do now because ‘everyone must feel the same way’. That is there problem and the only person you need to take care of right now is yourself because you can’t give all of your love to someone else because then what are you left with.

It is like when you are on a plane and they say ‘in case of emergency, oxygen masks will fall from the ceiling. Put your mask on before you help others’. So in life that means that you need to help yourself and make yourself safe before you should start helping others because, if you don’t, then who know what will happen to you. You matter most ok and I never want you to forget that. So yes, others do struggle but you deserve just as much help and support, your thoughts matter and you deserve to live better than this.

Thank you guys for reading this and I hope it helped some of you to remember this because it is so important to know at this point. Please take care of yourself and know that you mean so much to the world. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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Message For Everyone Going Back To School

Good morning guys. Today is the day I go back to school after 3 months of online lessons and to be honest, nothing could get worse than this moment. As soon as I got up, I got changed into my school uniform and I almost broke down. Why? Because my uniform is tight on me. It is so frustrating and I felt trapped and nearly just decided to go back to be and just sleep for the rest of the day. But then I thought, maybe if I write it down here, I will get it off my chest and maybe someone will feel the same way and we won’t feel as isolated.

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I hate my body and I have for a long time. Sadly a lot of people can understand that and they feel the same way. I always feel like someone is always looking at me, judging me, and can tell every time I gain a bit of weight. It is always my stomache, my legs and my arms that I get most stressed about. And my face too but that would mean I could have just said my whole body but I didn’t so here we are now. Anyways, back on topic. My skirt feels really tight around my waist and I just can’t stop thinking about every little thing and feeling ashamed of myself. The thing about me, and maybe you guys too, is that I can give advice to everyone else, but none of that is being listened to by me because I just think it doesn’t apply to me. It sounds ridiculous, this applies to everyone in the world but me. So I thought that I would type out what I say to others and maybe I will believe some of it… maybe.

So what I would remind someone is that firstly, their body is absolutely perfect, and then I remind them how much their body has gone through. Everyone’s body has changed in some way, no matter what, because we have been in a flipping global pandemic. The fact that you may feel different in someway is completely normal because we have been through so many changes and so many stressful moments. The motivation to do some things is absolutely demolished so how would we expect anything else. And the truth is, nobody will actually notice that you have changed, and if they do they won’t judge you because they understand at least a part of what you have gone through because they went through it too and have probably become uncomfortable in their own body too.

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What I also want to make sure everyone know is that if anybody ever mentions anything about your weight, they are not worth the worry. They are people who are jealous of you because they also feel uncomfortable with who they are. And that isn’t an excuse what so ever, but I mean that they do not deserve your presence in their lives. Don’t think of it as ‘I am so much less than them and I am worthless’, try to think of it as ‘they don’t deserve my time and I don’t want to be with someone who only sees people for their looks and not for their actual personality’. And I know that is way easier said than done, but try to at least remember this and maybe some day in the future, it will stick with you.

So to conclude this, I know that you are really struggling right now and that is ok but just know that this is totally normal and you are so strong for getting this far. I am really proud of you and it will get better. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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Holding On Just Isn’t Enough

Hi, today is more of a serious blog, so no jokes, just me. I have my first day back in school tomorrow, like literally in the building. And just like last time, I really am not prepared to go back. I am finally comfortable with online school and I don’t think I can cope with all the pressures of school life. I know that there are so many people excited to be socializing again, but I was happy with where I was, or at least I could cope with it.

Next week I will be having tests pretty much everyday and they will be going towards my final GCSE but I have not revised at all for them. I realise in my brain that these are important and I can’t just forget about them but I physically can not bring myself to revise. I am just not in that mindset and I physically can not get myself into it. This isn’t just a case of laziness and procrastination as all the parents will think, but it is a struggle. I am so terrified for these exams and what they will mean to my future but I don’t have the power to get myself into revision. The thing is, when I revise I get into such a bad state of mind and it destroys me, but when I don’t I just crumble out of fear because I have no clue what to do.

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I was that person who always got good grades in class. The one who everyone would call a ‘sweat’, so you are probably all like ‘well you will still be getting an A so get over it’, but I am not one of those people who are naturally smart. I have to revise so much just to get close to the grades of my friends who barely revise. One time I didn’t revise for a test and I failed. I am so terrified of that happening but I can’t start to revise. I don’t know where to. Everyone seems like they have it figured out but I am so lost. I have no clue what will happen, I have no clue what I will do when I get bad grades. How am I supposed to compose myself in class when I have a panic attack at the thought of these tests?

For those not living in the UK, the government have cancelled our formal exams ‘for our mental health’. And what they decided to do instead was just move them forward. So now we have to do the same amount of revision in less time which has fucked my mind so much. I have no clue what to think and there are just points where I get so overwhelmed that I just freeze. They always say ‘we know how you feel’, ‘we know you are under a lot of pressure’ but they don’t because if they knew even a fraction of what we felt they would be doing so much more despite the fact that most of them are heartless.

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I have been taught all my life that I am a smart, gifted child who needs to get all As if I want to succeed in life. So I got in a rhythm. It was a bloody stressful one, but I revised, got the grades, did the work, had no social life, and I was miserable but I got what everyone expected of me. But now I have lost that all and I shake with fear that I might let everyone down. I have already let myself down but I can not let my family down. They do so much for me and they encouraged me to do so well in school but I can’t make them proud anymore. I hate school and I never want to go back but I feel if I leave they will look down at me and I will fail them.

I am so scared but I wanted to share this to show that you guys aren’t alone. Life is so fucking tough for teens at the moment and nobody fucking cares, so please, if you can, share this will everyone you know. Get this message out there because it may not changing anything but I hope to god that the right person sees this and they wont feel as lonely as I do right now. I love you all. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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What Is Louder? Your Mouth Or Your Eyes?

Don’t try to be all smart and say “well if you had at least one brain cell, it is obviously your mouth”. That isn’t even the answer BOB, so go away. Anyways this actually a serious post so let’ get into it.

The answer I was looking for was your eyes. I’m not tryna get all soft and stuff but it is true. I mean when you have a connection with someone the saying is that you can “look into their eyes and understand them”, not “i can look at their mouth and understand them” because all you will see is a piece of food stuck in their teeth or something like that. Maybe it is just me but like I could be deaf, but whenever I look at someone I can tell how they feel.

But like, you know what I mean, when you look into someones eyes you can see the pain in them. Somebody xuld be acting happy, a smile on their face, but when you look on their eyes you can see their story. in some way. Your mouth could scream a lie, but your eyes will scream the truth.

The thing about your eyes is that you can’t really lie with them because well firstly you may not be thinking about them and secondly it takes a lot of practise to hide your emotions with your eyes. It would be really hard to tell how someone really feels while blind folded because all you can hear is their voice. The thing about your voice is that you can say anything with it. Any word in the dictionary. You can change emotions as much as a pregnant woman.

I would also like to say that I am not a proper scientist person who analysis this stuff, I am just a sympathetic teen girl. I also want to say that, if you look at someone and you get that feeling in your stomach that they aren’t 100% themselves, ask them. Even if they sound completely fine. And even if they are genuinely fine, there is no shame in asking because then at least they know that you are here for them

So yeah, to conclude, your eyes can say so much. I know I sound cliché but they are the window to your soul but that is what makes them beautiful. So try to look someone in the eye every once in a while because you never know what they might tell you

Thank you so much for reading and I hope this benefits somebody in some way. So yeah, please like and follow if you liked this type of content. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.


Little Things That Annoy Me On Online School For No Reason (Have You Noticed Them?)

There are a lot of common things people get annoyed at, whether that is just having to sit around all day or the WiFi not working, just stuff like that. I am not talking about these things today, I am talking about the little tiny things that others may not notice, just like one of those tiny flies that fly around your face while you are talking and you just can’t stop getting distracted by it.

Silent But Deadly

I know what this title makes you think of, but that isn’t it. What I mean by it is that I hate it when there are certain teachers who ask a question and go quiet for way too long. Nobody is answering and nobody know who is about to start talking first. Maybe nobody will, but that is even worse. There are three ways this can end. 1, you speak first. Nobody else talks and you get it right. Well done you, you stopped the bomb. 2, you start to talk, but so does somebody else. You both stop starting and stopping to talk at the same time, just that little sidestep you do when trying to get past someone. You never speak on zoom again in fear of this happening. 3, nobody talks, the teacher waits longer, still nobody talks. Suddenly, you find yourself in deep shit. The teacher is shouting, complaining about everything going on in their life. Their marriage, quarantine, drinking problem. They stop. Everyone leaves. So yeah, a majority of the time, it is not ideal. I hate the silence with a passion.

Sweet Or Sour

Right, this is literally the most annoying ever. This is when the teacher’s are trying to act nice but everyone can tell they couldn’t give a shit. To be fair I don’t blame them, but passive aggressiveness annoys me in general. Like they just be staring at the camera and you can see it in their eyes that they are ready to slap us all, but they have ask a question like ‘hope you guys are all ok’. Oh my god, or they like ‘just text if you want me to help you with anything’ but you can tell they will give you fuck all if you ask them. The last example of this is also when we have had quite a quiet class, so everyone is a bit on edge, and then at the end of the class they say ‘has anyone got anything to ask’ and then time just stops. We all have our mouse on the end call button, even the teacher, but she just stares as if we have literally failed her as a class. She is as close to giving up as she is to the camera. Just their face staring. It do be giving me nightmares. Yeah, that kind of passive aggressiveness just gets to me :O

*crickets* THANK YOUUUUUU

Ok, so I guess this is nice for the teachers, but this is when the class is so quiet the whole time and then the teachers say ‘bye’ and then there is a long silence when everyone stays on the call waiting for one person to say ‘thank you’. Then everyone erupts and says THANK YOU at the exact same time. I do feel kind of bad if we don’t do that I guess, but the thing is, nobody wants to be the first person so you are just waiting there awkwardly and then all of a sudden your ears are blown off. I just can’t deal.

The most important thing is _/\/\/\_ is that all OK guys?

Just ignore my attempt of trying to portray a glitch through a keyboard. And to be fair, this kind of a big thing that happens to probably everyone, but… get over it, this is my blog. LOL anyways. You could have been sitting through a whole bloody lesson just for this one piece of info that you need and then that is the moment that they glitch. You just waiting for it and all of a sudden, BOOM, WiFi is non-existent. Yes, I probably could just ask for her to repeat that. Will I know? No. Why? Because then the exact same thing I explained in the first example will happen, and I am still recovering from last time. I mean maybe the thing she said wasn’t that important, right?

Time is Ticking Bitches

In our school, our classes are only supposed to be 45 minutes each to give us time for any technical difficulties and stuff like that. Now lets play a bit of ‘never have I ever’. Never have I ever finished class in 45 minutes. Never have I ever not been rushing to go onto my next class. Never have I ever had my class run into break and lunch time. Oh wait! I have actually. The only thing getting them away from it is the fact they are my favourite teacher. And every single time they keep saying ‘I am conscious of the time guys, don’t worry’. Umm, I don’t think you fucking are because the time is ticking. And then they keep going on with other questions and it is so dragged out because nobody answers and then they do a massive conclusion and then there is the whole bloody awkward THANK YOU thing at the end even though we have nothing to be thankful for!!!!

What Is Time Anyways

On the topic of time, I don’t think that the teachers really realise that the timetable is still a thing. They be starting and finishing these lessons as though they themselves are literally time. They also forget that, just because we at home, doesn’t mean we have more time for work. They be like ‘here is a big pile of homework’, we all panic but she says ‘don’t worry, I know it is a lot’, relaxing, then ‘I am setting it for tomorrow instead of the end of the day’, PANIC. They really woke up and chose evil.

Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed and this actually makes sense for some. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


Weekly Reminder

Hi guys! You made it through the week! I am so proud of you. That week was a bloody roller coaster with all the things about the royalty and the world in general. If you live in the UK you will know that Piers Morgan has left ‘Good Morning Britain’. To add to the good news we also have less corona deaths which is a great thing. So yeah, I am so proud of everyone for actually making it to this post. Thank you for being here.

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So what I thought would be a good weekly reminder for this week is to make sure everyone knows that they deserve happiness. Yup, this is something that a lot of people find really hard to accept, me included. And I am not gonna go give you ‘Ten Top Tips To Love Yourself’ because, firstly, the advice is utter crap, they literally say to get a bath and get over it. Secondly, I am no professional, so if I was to go out here and give advice, it would end very badly.

In my experience, I always questioned ‘why do I deserve to be happy while there are people out there who are doing so much worse than be’. I felt as though I was being selfish and stealing the happiness from others, when the truth is I just have the opportunity for help and so will they someday. No matter what happens in life, there is always somebody worse than you, and that may be really unhelpful to say, but what I mean is that, if you feel this way, there is never going to be a point where you say ‘I deserve to get help’. Do you get me? You need to ask yourself ‘when will I be worse enough to deserve help?’. Usually that answer is something really bad, but you need to use that to your advantage and think ‘if I am thinking about getting to that situation, then I need to get help right now before I go there’. No matter what happens in your life, whether you get overwhelmed by the smallest thing or you going through a really really tough time, you deserve help’. Everybody has different threshold for what they can cope with, and if you find it hard to cope with even the smallest thing, that isn’t something that should be ignored. The thing is, you don’t live their life, and they don’t live yours. So no matter what, if you are finding it hard to live in your situation, that is reason enough to get help. Now I do understand that is easier to say than to do but just read this when you need a reminder because it is true and it is important.

No matter what anyone else is going through, if you are struggling AT ALL, you deserve to get help. Ok? Please remember that.

Thank you so much for reading. I hope you liked this post and it benefited you in some way. You all matter to me and I am so happy that you made it through the week. I am very proud. Please like and follow if you liked this content and wanna read more. Hope you have a great day, stay safe, and stay yourself PERIODT


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I Actually Told Someone This

I have a story that I really regret and I need to get this off my chest. The things I said completely ruined this girls life.

Every day, from the moment I woke up, I would target this girl. I had know her for my whole life and I don’t know why, just one day I treated her like crap. I would constantly be in her face saying things like ‘you are so fat’ and ‘you are worthless and someday someone is going to discover this and you will be shunned from society’. I know this sound so horrible and I did this for so long. She ended up having bad mental health, she went to hospital for a while but I never really stopped saying these things for her. I would literally say that this at least made her valid as a person because she would have a good back story, that is what made me keep doing it. Whenever I saw her being slightly happy I would always knock her down. No matter where she was or who she was with I would beat her down with my words. Do you know what the best thing was? She never told anyone about it. Not a soul. She didn’t even show it in her face. Nobody would be able to tell. I have done these things to this girl for so many years now, and still to this day I do the same thing. Out of respect I have to mention who this person is. I did get their permission so don’t worry. The girl who I would mentally abuse everyday for many years was… me.

Before you start to think I am looking for a massive reaction and a bunch of attention, I just wanted to put into perspective what so many of us go through every single day. I am sure that you probably felt so angry and had so much hatred for me. You probably thought I was such a bad person, and I mean of course you would because what decent person would ever do that to someone? Nobody should ever be treated that way. Right? So then why do you treat yourself that way? Why do you let your mind beat yourself up every waking morning? When I put it into terms of me saying these things to someone else it seems like the meanest thing in the world, but when we put it in terms of saying this to ourselves, we just let it go. It is hard to think of it this way, but this is exactly what we put up with everyday. We let our mind bully us every single day and we feel as though we shouldn’t get help for it. Just like with every bully, we need to report this and hand ourselves in because if we don’t, this will keep happening and that person’s life will become worse and worse. Just because we can’t physically see this bully, or hear them, it doesn’t mean that you are any less valid. It is just as traumatizing and awful and it is so sad that we feel as though we can’t fix it because if this was an actual human being that did these things to you, you would be going to tell someone and get help.

I know that it can be tough to see it in this way, but I just wanted to tell everyone that you can’t let your mind treat you like that. Try to think of it as a person and then be like ‘what would I do in this situation?’. Would you tell someone? Would you get help and support? I hope those answers are yes because you don’t deserve to be treated like this. For a lot of us, our biggest bully is ourselves and that is not ok. I mean of course your thoughts are valid but you can’t let it keep happening. You need to expose that bully. You know that sadness for the girl who you thought I was bullying, feel that for yourself because you are going through so much right now and although your mind may tell you otherwise, you deserve to be happy and live your life to the fullest.

Thank you so much for watching, I hope you enjoyed it and it put into perspective that we can’t ignore what our mind is telling us. We need to get help just as if it was a school bully. Please like, comment and follow if you like this content and please feel free to comment your thoughts about this post. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.


Weekly Reminder

Right guys, another week another reminder. Can I just say well done for making it to this point. I mean if you look back you would see the destruction and struggle you just went through to get here. I mean I am so proud of you for getting here and I hope I will see you again next week. Yeah? OK, I am gonna hold you to that. But hey, don’t start thinking about what just happened, please don’t get covered in that worry again, please try to keep moving. Be like those people in movies who keeps walking while a bomb literally goes off behind them, yet they don’t look back.

But anyways, that was kind of what I wanted to talk about today. No not about movies obviously, but about you making it to this point. People don’t get enough recognition for being able to get to the next day. It isn’t an easy thing and I know that whoever is reading this will understand that. So just in case nobody has told you yet, I am so happy and proud that you are here right now. You were able to fight those thoughts and I admire you so much for that. Battling your own thoughts is probably one of the hardest things to do and the fact that you could is just amazing. Even if you just barely made it, I salute you because you still got through. It was a struggle for you but you made it. You deserve a medal to be honest.

There are some people who get through each day like a piece of cake, yes that is quite rare, but there are. These people don’t understand what people mean when they say they struggle. They don’t understand that every morning you wake is a disappointment. Any time that you try to be honest with them, they think you are joking because they probably don’t understand that it isn’t a joke. And the thoughts we have are so severe that it does sound unbelievable, but sadly they are real. This post is kind of just me talking to you to say that I am sorry for whatever you are going through and the fact nobody understands how lucky they are to have you in their lives at the moment. They don’t know how close they are to losing you and that must suck because they take you for granted, but can you at least know that I am so blessed to have you here at the moment. Breathing, surviving. I am not about to give advice and keep throwing meaningless words at you because I know you must be exhausted from everything, from just living. But please can we make a contract that this time next week you will read my next post and you can comment if you like so that you can show everyone how strong you are. I know that is a lot for me to ask of you but please try to do it. Yeah? OK great. See you then 🙂

Thank you so much for reading this and for being here. I really appreciate it. I do these every week, obviously, just because not everyone is told how much they mean a lot. So please follow for more and like this post so that more people going through a tough time can see this. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.


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How The Hell Do I Get Rid Of This

So this one is getting’ a tad wee bit more personal I suppose. The thing is that probably the majority of us, if not all, have these, yet I am still finding it hard to talk about. I’ll stop building the tension and just tell you what it is. Stretch marks. Yep, that thing that is uncontrollably made when we grow. The thing so many people are embarrassed about, including me, despite the fact they are completely natural.

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It was long ago when I was looking in the mirror and I saw on my back that I had so many stretch marks. To be honest, I never really knew that you could get them on your back, but I mean obviously you can because, well, your back grows so. And then every so often I would find more and more. Literally my back just looks like a road system at the moment. I obviously have stretch marks elsewhere on my body but these are the ones I hated the most. I just felt so gross and ashamed of myself. I mean what is a guy gonna think when he sees that all the way down my back. It was crazy how all I was thinking about was what others would think. How would they act? What can I do to stop this?

The answer is, you can’t. And one day I stopped and I thought, what do I think about this? I really thought for a while and then I came to the conclusion that they are kind of like your story. Whether that story is just your growing, or whether it is something more personal. But no matter what, it seems cool. As though they are your ‘battle scars’ or something. Like people could have gone through so much and having stretch marks could have been one of the results. Yes, that could bring back bad memories for people but I am gonna try and focus on the beauty of it.

A lot of the time we kind of just need to stop for a second and focus on what we think, without the fear of judgment or the future, but just kind of look at it in a different light. Yes that is easier said then done, and I know that, trust me, but the only person that truly matters in your life is yourself even when that is hard to believe. Teens and adults have become so obsessed with our bodies and I mean who can blame ya because we see on Instagram the perfect features of a model, without any imperfections and we just think, how the hell am I supposed to compete with that. Well, you can’t, because it is totally unrealistic and fake. I also just wanna make something clear. I am talking for both men, woman, or whatever pronoun you associate yourself with. Just every person lets say. Every single person gets stretch marks. Every single person can get embarrassed by their stretch marks. If you associate yourself as a man or any other group that usually gets frowned upon if they show any sign of weakness. It is OK that you have these stretch marks, OK. It is normal for you to have stretch marks. You guys can be embarrassed by these things too, so yeah I just wanted to make it clear that I am talking to everyone, not just girls.

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Now for the reason of the title, ‘How the hell do I get rid of this’. Now, before your English teacher devours this and somehow link it back to that one time I looked at a blade of grass, this title is only talking about the fact that I was embarrassed by my stretch marks. Well, I mean I still am to be honest, but what the title means is that we need to recognize that there is no magic potion that gets rid of them, I think. We are stuck with these things so we may as well embrace them. No matter how much I look at them or think about them, I will still have them, and so will you, and so will everyone. So we kinda just gotta live with it and move on. Yes I know that made it sound easy but I know that over time you will notice them one day and be like ‘oh yeah… I’m a bad bitch’ and just move on ya know.

Thank you so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed this and made you realise that there are so many people out there that are embarrassed about the same thing as you because it is a normal thing that we can’t change. But anyways, please follow and like this post because it would mean the world to me. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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What I Noticed While Talking to Teens About Mental Illness — Peace from Panic

Last week I spoke to teens about mental health, like I’ve done dozens of times before. But this time it felt different. This was my first set of presentations since early 2020, before COVID-19 lockdowns. I’m a speaker for the National Alliance on Mental Illness. I present NAMI’s Ending the Silence program to middle grade […]

What I Noticed While Talking to Teens About Mental Illness — Peace from Panic

You guys need to read this post. It is absolutely amazing to me because it kind of shows us all that there are actually adults out there who genuinely care and try to understand how we feel and why we do what we do. There are two really important questions in there that two brave people asked about which I think you guys could really benefit on, not just from the answers, but just to know that there are other people who feel that way and you aren’t alone or crazy for thinking those thoughts. But yeah, please give that a look guys and really soak it in. It isn’t long but it packs so much force.

Thank you so much for reading. Please like, follow and comment below other topics you would like me to mention, what this post meant to you, or just whatever you want. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.


What ‘It’s OK Not To Be OK’ Really Means

This is kind of a wee daily reminder post. And it is motivational, hopefully, and not in away aimed at offending people.

We see this phrase everywhere. On buses, at school, on the school bullies Instagram post, everywhere. And it is 100% true. What I want to talk about though is what is left out from it. I sometimes worry that when people tell others ‘it’s OK to not be OK’ people just accept that that is who they are which is OK but then they don’t try to change it. What I mean is that it is totally OK to struggle with your thoughts, but you can’t ignore them. You need to go and get help, admit your struggle and open up. The phrase, ‘it’s OK not to be OK’ is a reassurance that you aren’t weird or crazy. And it doesn’t mean that you just need to leave it now. It doesn’t mean that you can just leave it be because mental health problems are OK, as long as you try to help them.

I really hope you all understand what I mean because sometimes I can find it really hard to communicate what I mean with my words. It may sound rude what I just said but I just want everyone to understand that everyone who struggles with their thoughts deserves to be helped. No matter how bad you think your thought are or aren’t, you all deserve help. And just because someone says that it is OK that you think those thoughts, it doesn’t mean they are OK to live with everyday. They mean that you aren’t crazy and that you can get over it. No matter what others say, you struggle with your thoughts. You can’t let anyone tell you it’s just a bad day, because only you know that. They can’t see behind the mask you hide behind. I am going to say this to you again in a more informed way, ‘You are thinking is not crazy, your thoughts are all valid, thank you for admitting that to me. Now I can help you get help and everything will be OK’.

Obviously it is quicker to say ‘it’s OK not to be OK’ but I just hope that you don’t think that people are degrading what you are going through. Please don’t take it as people being like ‘yeah I mean your feelings are valid but that’s a normal thing that you need to live with’ because that is completely wrong. So please get help. You may think you aren’t ‘bad’ enough to get help, but if you are struggling, it doesn’t matter what anyone else is going through because this is your life and you deserve to be happy, no matter what.

Over all, just know that you are loved and that it is OK not to be OK if you can get help. Thank you for reading. Like and follow so you read more of my content like this, also check out these great deals I got for you guys, just get a wee treat for yourself hun, you deserve it. This is your world, we just livin’ in it PERIODT.


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What Not To Say To A Teenager

I am about to expose a lot of people right now because there do be some ignorant Karen’s out there. Also don’t worry if you have said some of these because they aren’t harmful and obviously you wouldn’t have thought about it in that way LOLs


These Are The Best Years Of Your Life

Right I don’t know if you had a great childhood or a really bad adulthood but if it is only going to get worse from here, I don’t want it. The first time someone said this to me was when I had got out of the school bus and was walking home. I had just got a really bad grade in school and my mental health was kind of ~nonexistent~, but then this guy was like you OK and I was yeah I’m fine and he was like ‘well these are the best days of your life so enjoy them’. To conclude, I nearly cried. Like why the hell do I have to have a boring job just to survive. I mean I don’t want to survive, I want to live, you know, and by saying to just enjoy them makes me sad because I can’t as I am in school with boundaries. Like why do I have to grow up to get a meaningless job. Every time someone says that I kind of just get less motivated to do something with my future because it seems so much more impossible. And trust me, I don’t like our lives could get much worse so yeah.

You Are Just Having A Bad Day

Wow, why did I get angry just writing this. You know when your child goes down to you and says how they feel. Do not tell them it is just a bad day because it might not be. Especially if they came and talked to you. You may just be very close, or they are really struggling and don’t know how to cope with it anymore. And even if it is just a bad day, don’t tell them that because they are going to say that everyday and probably downplay a very serious mental illness. They aren’t gonna want to reach out anymore because they know they will just be judged. They probably haven’t accepted their mental health as it is which can be really problematic but by just stating that ‘it’s only a bad day’ makes them seem like it is all in their head. You guys have no clue what we go through. You think you know us but you don’t. If you could see the amount of people who are crying in their rooms without anyone knowing, you would be shocked. People are so good at hiding emotions nowadays so you can’t say it was a bad day because you don’t know how long this has been going on for. Just be their for them and say you will help them through all the tough times. Just try to sympathies will them, no belittle them.

I Am The One Who Feeds You, Keeps A Roof Over Your Head And Pays The Bills

This one needs no explanation. What the hell did you expect when you got pregnant? That money grows on trees? I think you know the answer to that one. We didn’t ask to be put on this earth. Hell, if I was given the choice I would refuse to go onto this earth. So why are you trying to guilt trip us. If we are going to be living on this world you may as well let us live. We are not your little slaves. You can’t ask us to do everything for you because you are on your ass watching sports. Especially when they are so close to the thing they need done yet feel the need to call you down from all the way upstairs when it would be so much easier for them. And then they hit you with ‘I’ve been working all day, all I ask is that you close this door.’ Excuse me? I just got back from 6 hours of nonstop education with little to no break while you were at work looking at Facebook memes most of the time. And you chose that job so you should enjoy it. You also get payed. I appreciate that you work for us to live and I want to thank you for that, but don’t think that we have been lazing around all day. Chances are we have homework too and don’t have time to be dealing with this childishness. Your parents payed for your bills and now you have to pay for yours and that is not our fault at all. Don’t make us guilty for what you did.

You Are So Lazy

Oh my, this is always said when you have sat down for one second after doing so much. I mean you always seem to catch us on our phones. We could have just cleaned the whole house or done all the homework for the entire year and you wouldn’t recognize that. Funny enough we don’t all do nothing the whole day. It can also be quite hurtful too because we don’t feel seen. I mean no matter what day it is, we will have done something. Whether that is being at school, or if it is the weekend, we are exhausted from school. The two day weekend is not enough but just let us relax while we can. I mean you guys are always looking forward to your weekends. And it makes us feel guilty and angry too because we feel like less of a person, even though we do the normal amount of things. You just catch us at the wrong time. Everyone needs a break and if we need something done we will get it done eventually.

You Should Be More Like…

Nah, here comes the preparing. To be fair, I don’t remember my parents ever saying this to me but I know that some do and that needs addressed. What is the point of comparing your children to someone you barely know. I mean you could say ‘you should be more like George, he always gets good grades’. OK then, let me just buy some weed and rob a store and I will be just like him. Or maybe they will say ‘you should be more like Julie, she always respects her parents’. OK, well just let me become traumatized and depressed and I will be just like her. Just because they do one thing, doesn’t mean they are a perfect person. Everyone has a story and you are hurting your child too. You should make them be proud for who they are and not feel like a burden.

Well When I Was Younger…

Lets establish something guys, telling stories to your kids is all good as long as it is in the right context. Like if I am complaining about going to school, don’t have the audacity to say ‘well when I was younger I had to travel through the swirly twirly gumdrops’. Like bitch stop, that was from ‘Elf’ the movie. You all just be exaggerating things. I just said I don’t like taking the bus. I mean just because we don’t have the same problems doesn’t mean that ours are any less. If you keeping saying that then we aren’t gonna be coming to you to ask stuff. Although, saying this, I will be saying about how I lived through a pandemic to my kids.

You Are Too Obsessed With Technology

Excuse me but who was the one who bought me this? Who were the ones that created technology because I don’t think it was us. I mean this is how we grew up. You can blame us for not knowing what to do with our time. And besides, this is our future so why try to stop us using it. Also, how much better are your lives with technology. I mean you love the alexa, the TV, your phone, Facebook, all of it. To be honest, you do be using it as much me. So yeah. This is just how we grew up and it is really helpful actually. I can use it for music, for learning a language, communicating with friends, writing this blog, anything. It is so amazing that we have the world at our fingertips. It should be celebrated. And maybe if you stop telling us to get off it, we will because nobody likes to do what they are told ya know. Maybe asking you children what they are doing next time. Maybe it is something beneficial. Technology is also a great way to escape from the real world which can be far worse than technology. Just let us rest if we want to.

You Should Go On A Diet/Exercise More

You know where this about to go. I think your teenage years are the most vulnerable years of your life. We judge ourselves about every little thing we do or how we look. We grew up looking at fake people yet aspiring to be them. But when I hear people say to others they need to exercise more, it really triggers me. I mean of course I am not against exercise but you should let people do it in their own way and in their own time because we don’t want anyone to do it in excess. As well as diets. Teens are in the last vital years of growth and development. Unless they have an allergy, they should not go on a diet. It is only teaching them that there are good and bad foods which is not a good way to view this

Wait Until You Go Into The Real World

Bitch I have been living in the real world. If you see the world we live in, trust me, we would be in the real world. To be fair I can’t say much because I am in school but like I am not unaware of the struggles in life. I am not ignorant to the injustice and war in the world. It is kind of scary as well when you say that because I feel like what I am experiencing isn’t the bad thing and it just makes me think, what is the bad part. Every day on tiktok we see the mental health issues, the abuse, the fear in peoples eyes. So you can’t tell us that we don’t know what the real world is because we may not see the same point of view but I sure know that my side is bloody scary and I am already knee deep in it. You can’t say we are immature because we don’t know how to pay taxes, we don’t have a job or we don’t do the dishes because that is belittling what we go through and we should not be ignored. You don’t know us or the world we live in. I know I am not part of the working world yet but I know damn well the terrifying world. We aren’t immature, we are just knowledgeable of different things.

Thank you all for reading this. I mean I hope nobody gets offended by this. Of course I emphasized my emotions but I hope it helped you to understand me and maybe you can try to empathize with teens more.

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Weekly Reminder

So you caught me. I don’t do weekly reminders every week but… deal with it. Anyways, I just thought that everyone might need some motivation on a Sunday because you have the whole week ahead of you and, maybe, a bad week behind you. So I just wanted to say that…

You have got this. You have made it all the way to the end of January. January which can be the hardest month of the year for many, yet you are reading this right now. That is pretty impressive I must say. Oh and just in case you forgot, you also got through 2020 which was… something else. I mean if you can get through that, then I am pretty sure you can get through everything now. You may not believe this but damn, you really do be fighting everyday and I appreciate that. I appreciate that you woke up this morning. That you decided to face this day. That takes more strength than anyone could imagine and I promise you that someday in the future you will thank yourself for everyday that you got up. Sometimes it may be too hard and you will need some days to just, sit and do nothing, but one day you will get up and I know you will. Some day, you will have the strength to face the world, and how do I know that? Because you have made it this far and you can make it to the end. Just take it one day at a time. We are all here to support you. The week ahead of you must feel really daunting, and I’m sorry, but keep your chin up. Show the world you are a bad bitch and can’t nobody tell you otherwise, not even yourself. Read this post as many times as you like. And don’t you dare dismiss this because you don’t think it was ‘directly for you’ because do you know what the chances are that you are reading these words right now? Well, I don’t know the numbers but I do know that it is very damn slim. The chances of you and me living at the same time, the chances of you clicking onto this when you did are so small. So guess what, obviously you were meant to read this, and this is a sign that you are strong enough. This week, this month, this year, won’t get the best of you. You can’t let it. Never give up. Especially not now after all of the things you have done to get to this point.

Everyone is so damn proud of you. You probably are tutting right now. ‘how could everyone be proud of me?’. Well, I have to say, maybe that abusive friend or family member is treating you like shit, and I am not going to speak for them, I can’t lie. But what I mean is that, everyone who matters is proud of you. I am proud of you. We haven’t gone through the exact same things so I can’t say I understand you, but I know that you have went through a pandemic, and for me I am lucky and it hasn’t really affected my family, but yet it has been so damn hard. So if you are going through anything slightly more than me, a lot more, or just the same, I am so proud of you. Really I don’t know how you have done it. So many people could learn such a great lesson from you. You must be so brave and so strong to get to this far and I wish I could say this to each and every one of you. I am in awe of your story and I know it must be really difficult. I really have no words to describe how proud I am of you and what you have done.

Thank you so much for reading, and I hope this will make the rest of your week a little easier. Like and follow for more content like this and please keep going. I know this must be so difficult for you but I also know you can do this PERIODT.


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Why We Need To Change Exams And The School System

I know this is gonna sound really over dramatic for everyone and all adults are gonna be like ‘well your just saying that because you are too lazy to revise’. Well guess what Karen, it isn’t just for that reason. Let me educate you with 5 Ws


Who

These tests are being given to young people who are supposed to be ‘our future’, yet we bash them so hard that they have no confidence in themselves to do great things. I am not sure if anyone else has heard of this statistic, but the average teen has the same level of anxiety as a psych ward patient in the 1960’s. I don’t know about you but that doesn’t sound right to me. As a teen, I don’t see the point of making us prepare for the future if you make us all feel as though we wont have one if we don’t know how to work out the area of a triangle. Not only have we been affected by work but also the media which means we have so much more to worry about. I mean how much of an impact can we make if we are all depressed. Because that is how tests make us feel. Some of us don’t seem very phased my a bad grade and, although I can’t speak for all of you, we do care about it and it does affect us. Just sometimes we are scared to be smart and I know how that sounds but I think it is more of a peer pressure thing. And for the people who always do well in exams, the person who gets upset if they don’t get 90% or above. They too are struggling. They feel so stressed by revising all the time and never feeling good enough. Why do we waste our lives and our minds in order to get a big A on a piece of paper. How can we rule our whole life of of our school life. A teen, not fully understanding what they are doing in life, yet have so much pressure to make the right decisions. And for what, to get into uni, to get into debt, to get a 9 to 5 job and work for someone else until we retire and die. Is that what you call success? They say that when you are born you are only scared of 2 things, the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. So at what point did the fear of failure, the fear of embarrassment, the fear of the future, come into play? Maybe it was from home life? But people with a good family life still have these fears, right? So what do we all share in common? School. Tests. Essays. Have all adults been brainwashed since they left school because even though we are ‘the future’, you guys are the present and you need to fix this now.

What

School is defined as ‘an institution for educating children’. That sounds all nice and appropriate. An exam is defined as ‘an official test that shows your knowledge or ability in a particular subject’. Lovely, right. Well from the looks of it yes, but I think they left something out at the end of the school definition, ‘an institution for education children in one way despite the range of learning abilities‘, and in the exam definition, ‘an official test that shows your knowledge or ability in a particular subject that will depend on their future even though it doesn’t suit everyone’s strengths and abilities and causes mental illnesses‘. Yeah that definitely sounds more accurate to me. If you look at how cars or phones have evolved, you can see such a difference. But when you look at school, the only thing different are the pupils.

See how better the new car is. Completely changed
Only difference here are the uniforms

The point I am trying to make here is that school were made to teach us how to work in factories. How to live in the old world. But now the world has modernized. There are so many other job opportunities other than being a house wife or a coal miner. Why is is that. We have become so much more knowledgeable about the world and how people work, yet you can’t put into play the facts that you discovered about the way everyone learns differently. The thing that is most annoying is that you put so much money towards pointless things and then give scraps to the schools. It doesn’t make any sense at all. Schools need to catch up with the rest of the world

Where

To be honest I don’t really have anything to complain about, well for me anyways. I mean I get to see my friends. I guess all I would have to say is that the schools aren’t well funded enough to get great heating and furnishing. It usually is freezing although that isn’t the same for all of us.

When

I know that school times are different in many places. In the UK it starts at 9.20 am and ends at 3.45 pm. I think that in the US they go to school at like 7 am, although I am not that sure, and I have no clue what time you get back home at. Did you know that teenagers have evolved to have different body clocks. We are wired to go to bed later and wake up later because back in the days we were not old enough to hunt but not young enough to just lie around all day so they were made to stay up late to make sure nothing was about to eat them when they were asleep. Now, I am not saying that we should move school to really late and then get out really late because that is not any better. What I think is that school in general shouldn’t be so long. 6 hours everyday just to go home, do more homework, go to bed and repeat. It is almost impossible to do well in school and have a good social life. We are either exhausted from school or we have been bombarded with homework. It always hits harder during winter as well. We go to school just as the sun is going up and then we get home when it is nearly dark. We send more of our time under florescent light rather than the sun. We spend most of the time staring out the window rather than being outside. We hardly get any fresh air because school takes up so much of our life. My spine is never happy with me because I sit on uncomfortable chairs 24/7 with a heavy schoolbag that can’t even fit all my books. How am I supposed to learn anything about the ‘real world’ if I am not even allowed into it. We go to school for the majority of months each year and although we do have breaks, 5 days a week is so exhausting. The fact that dreading Mondays is normal is not OK because we should all be excited for everyday. We should spend our short life on this earth doing what we want everyday. And the fact it happens in the younger years of our lives is so sad. From day one of school you are getting stressed for work, for grades, for classes. No 10 year old should feel that way, they should be running around outside writing stories, songs, positions.

Why

So an over all reason for why we should change the way school works and how exams play a role in our lives is because they are just so ridiculous. I really can’t put into the words the fear I have for the future generations because if it keeps going the way it is, they are all going to be mentally ill by the age of 8 or younger. How can we let this happen. These were things that we made ourselves so we didn’t always need them. Why can’t we just encourage kids to go to schools. Tell them what classes they can go to and they can make their own decision without the pressure of ‘chose wisely because this is your future’. Of course there will have to be some sort of structure but we need to adapt it to the modern world. Not everyone sits at a desk all day. Not everyone should be expected to learn hundreds of new things every day. I mean it doesn’t make sense. Why should everything ride of of an exam we did 10 years ago. We could of had a bad day and not done well in the subject that we love. We all get so scared that we wont be able to do something we are passionate about because we can’t do tests very well. You expect so much from us yet you wouldn’t be able to do it yourself. Why do we stuff our faces with utter wastes of time to just forget it all in the future. I am going to ask you some questions that I am doing in school now and, for any adults, I would like you to answer them and see if you remember anything about it. Obviously, if you are specialized in one of these areas you will know the answer but anyways. What is a surd? Label the structure of a leaf. Tell me why the poem ‘Belfast confetti’ has a full stop. What types of clouds are there, how high up are they and what do they produce or show about the weather? And finally, name all of the causes of the great depression? Well? Could you do it? Not even a bit? If you could? Would you be able to do it under pressure and in around 10-15 minutes? If you can’t, don’t worry. You aren’t dumb. Obviously you just don’t need to use these in your daily life. But I just want to show you how ridiculous some of the things we learn are. And just like us, you may have felt a bit pressured and made to feel stupid. Yes, that is how most of us feel, but on a larger scale and everyday. And the thing is that now you can go off and live your life. Nobody is going to go to you and say you are so stupid, because you don’t need to know that. They would say ‘what are you worrying about? You don’t need to know this’. Yeah, that is exactly what I am trying to get across. Why waste my time on unimportant facts instead of figuring out how to pay taxes, do an interview, buy a house? It just sounds so ridiculous and then we get told that ‘these are the best years of your life’. :0 Excuse me, I hope the fuck it’s not. If my life only gets worse from here then I haven’t got any reason to live. And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is the mindset of a teen. What do you think?

Just remember guys, hang in there because it is gonna be a bumpy ride but we got this PERIODT.


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How To Combat Comparing

One of the worst things about social media is that it is so easy to compare yourself. Even though we have all been told that they are all fake and that they have been photo shopped, it is so hard to not compare how you look to them. You might not even compare there looks but maybe their lives and what they have. Either way it usually leads to a downward spiral because you realize you aren’t like them and you like is just pointless and meaningless. But I have another few ways to think of some things, although remember I am not a professional and these are just some ideas I have come up with.


Compare Yourself To Other People

This sounds hypocritical as hell but just listen. We are comparing ourselves to things we would have to change ourselves to believe, whether that is going on a diet, surgeries, whatever. But what if we compared ourselves to someone who we don’t want to be. This may not work for everyone and some of these examples are gonna be a bit random, but they are true. Ask yourself ‘have I killed a person?’ well hopefully not and if that answer is no then well done you are on the right track. Then ask yourself ‘have I got a roof over my head?’ If so then great. Also I just want to say that for anything you say yes too like being homeless, for example, just remember that that doesn’t make you any less of a human being and I am only using this in a way for people to become grateful for what they have. Ask yourself ‘am I a bully’, if not then well done at least you are a good person. Just small stuff like that, even when you know what the answer is going to be, like ‘I am blonde/brunette/ginger’ I mean whatever it is that will get you to focus on anything, no matter how big or small, that you like about yourself.

Get To Know The Person

So this can mean different things for if you compare yourself to a celebrity or someone you know. If it is a celebrity then it can be slightly harder but ask yourself this. What could this celebrity be thinking about right now? Maybe it is about how low they have been feeling lately. Maybe it is about how they feel insecure and worried what others may think. Or maybe they are comparing themselves to others and wishing they could be more like … you. Whether this is because of your lifestyle or your hair or anything. You can also ask yourself, what is this celebrity like in person? They could be really mean or homophobic or racist. They could be everything you don’t want to be so if you turned into them would you actually like that. No. And now for if it is someone you know. What is there life like? What do you have that they might not? Are they a good person? Just get to know more about them and you might found that they look a certain way because of something that has happened to them and they might not even like how they look themselves. Just because you think they look perfect, doesn’t mean they are confident in themselves. You could go up to them and complement something about them. If they are nice they will either compliment you back or start a conversation. If they are mean then at least you know that it isn’t worth it to be them. And either way you are in the right because you complemented them. Well, if it was in an appropriate way of course.

Try To Build Yourself Up Instead Of Breaking Yourself Down

Although it may be a harsh reality, you will never be exactly like them. I mean it is humanly impossible. You could try your hardest but at the end of it you will be so unhappy and you will barely know who you are. So what we should do is realize that although we are not where they are, there are still some aspects of our life that we do like. Maybe you still live with your parents so you are like ‘well at least I don’t have to pay for the bills’ or maybe you are at a comfortable place in life where something is going right, like you have great friends, or you are going on holiday soon. I know they may not be as significant as things that they do but if what you are doing makes you happy then why try to change everything about yourself. For me, I get very homesick so what I could say is that, although they are going to a lot of amazing places every day and they are always busy, I would find that really uncomfortable and overwhelming. I couldn’t live like they do at the moment. You don’t have to put the other person down to trick yourself into thinking they are perfect because in your head they will always look as great as before, but just say things that you like but aren’t right for you at this moment. ‘I like the way their hair looks but my hair isn’t able to become an afro so I am happy as it is now. I am going to appreciate them now but love my hair forever.’. You can say ‘they are stronger/skinnier than me and either they put in a lot of work over the years or this is photo shopped. I am only at the start of my workout journey and I know this is going to be a long process but I am proud of myself for where I am at this moment. I am sure they went through this point too.’. I mean the list can go on and don’t lie to yourself because that won’t work in the long term. Just appreciate them and yourself. Be more kind to yourself.

Before And After

For this, what you are gonna want to do is search up some videos on YouTube and search up some videos of modelling or photography before and after with people so that you can see how much they have changed them. It is one thing for people to tell you that this happens but when you see all of their imperfections that you might have you will realize that they really aren’t that different to you. They just have access to this type of equipment. And try to think about what they are trying to sell. Maybe a skin care brand is doing a close up on their face. Of course nobody’s skin can be perfect so they change the look in order to make you think it will because they want the sales. They don’t care that people will be self-conscious, they just think that that insecurity will drive you to buy it. Maybe they are doing a make-up commercial so they need to make the make-up look perfect. Of course make-up artists will do the majority of the work as they have a talent, but then again there may be a few imperfections on the skin or lips or anything. All they want to do is to make you buy the product. I can assure you that every picture has been changed in some way. There are apps everywhere that people can get so don’t forget people in your school can do that too. There is an app to make it look like you got more followers and likes on Instagram so don’t worry about that either. I mean I do not have a lot of followers and yes I am a bit self-conscious about that but I am trying to learn that it is OK. So definitely try out some videos

Try To Be Kind To Yourself

Maybe after reading this, nothing will have helped. Maybe it is too hard for you to believe that and try some of the things and that is OK. To be honest, I am like that. I always give advice but can never do it myself. For anyone else out there who is like that, can I just say that you are perfect and you are doing great. I know you are finding things tough right now and you feel like everyone is judging you but please just know that you aren’t alone. There may have been a person you saw you one day and said ‘wow, they are beautiful’. And yes I am talking to you as well boys because you are human too so you can feel this way. I hope one day you can see yourself how others see you. Perfect.

Thank you so much for reading this post and I hope you enjoyed it. Please follow and donate some money if you can to support my blog. I want to keep all my content free for everyone so every little help. Thank you, I’ll see you later, and remember, even Shrek found his true love PERIODT.


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This Was The Worst Year Of My Life So Far, But Where Am I Now

The first year of high school. This was in 2016 I think, but it was the worst year of my life. I want to post on here to see if anyone else can relate or to show them that it will get better.

I remember the first day of school, I was nervous because everything was so new and I had no clue what to expect. The only person I knew was my twin and I was so lucky to have her there because I don’t know where I would be today if she had not been there with me. To be honest, I don’t think I spoke to anybody else for the first couple of days. Everyone was so loud and outgoing. They seemed to know everyone so well, yet I couldn’t gather up the courage to say hello to the person beside me. I remember going home that day exhausted, holding back tears and wondering how I could spend the next 7 years of my life in this hell whole.

It wasn’t until a couple days in until me and my twin finally mustered up the courage to ask a group of girls whether or not we could sit next to them. They were all nice and said yes so we sat with them and I ended up sitting next to them for the rest of the year. Not for one second did I think they actually liked me though. I thought that they were too nice to say anything, they found me annoying and ugly. I thought that they just liked my twin and I was the annoying sister that tagged along. They all seemed so beautiful, confident and smart and then there was just me. Even at one point, my twin was in the same class as one of them and they said ‘at least I have one of my friends in my class’ and I still didn’t believe they like me. Even though they literally said it out loud that they saw me as a friend. My brain just could not accept it.

Every night, for what seemed like half the school year, I would cry in my room at night. And I know that sounds so ridiculous but I did because I was so scared for the next day. I was scared I would fail school. I was scared I would never make a friend. I literally couldn’t help it. My mum would come into my room most nights, seeing me crying and I felt like such a nuisance. I mean who cries in high school right. I can’t describe to you the fear and hurt I had. I had no clue how I could move on from that. I truly believed my life would be like that forever and I hated myself so much for that. One time in biology class, on of my friends saw that I was nearly in tears and she asked me how I was. Like genuinely asked as though she cared about me. How weird is that right? I swear to god though, 2016 me was worse at taking hints than a man. I mean they just flew right past me.

I am going to leave the rest of the depressing stuff because, well, you can get the jist of how terrible it was. Traumatizing some may say. But lets go onto the present. Yes, it has gotten better, and you better believe it.

You know that group of girls I was talking about, the ones I sat next to during lunch. Well, yeah, 5 years on and they have been my best friends throughout high school. No drama, just great, caring, reliable friends. There is only 5 of us in our group, including me and my twin, so it is quite small to be honest, but I know them so well. We get on like we have known each other forever and I wouldn’t trade them for the world. One of my favorite quotes is ‘what would you rather? 2 pound coins or 200 pennies? The 2 pound coins obviously. Each one is so much more valuable. It doesn’t take up so much room and they are more useful to me. Where as, if you got 200 pennies you would always be losing them or giving them away. They take up so much room and each one is worth nothing. They don’t matter much. Replace the money with friends. Would you rather 2 great friends that you adore and get along with so well, or 200 acquaintances? Yes you could say they are all your friends, but you don’t know them all that well. You lose some, throw them away. The don’t mean a lot to you. So eventually you are left with 1 or 2 who you don’t really like and maybe someday you will have 0. Always appreciate your close friends.’. I love that quote so much because it is so true. I was always so fixated on becoming popular, having the most followers on Instagram, knowing everybody. I was so sad that I never had that. For years I had to accept that I wasn’t one of the ‘popular kids’. But now I know that that doesn’t matter. I am never going to lose these friends and they are such an important part of my life now.

As for the other parts of school life, I don’t cry at night… not for those reasons anyways. I get decent grades. I have friends. Sure I still get the same thoughts at points but they are less frequent now. So many things change and if you are in the same position that I was in now, just know that it is OK to feel that way. I have felt similarly and it is so much better now, trust me. It may take a while but it is part of the process. It is just going to make you appreciate what you have in the future more. I am so sorry if you are going through this and if you are please dm me on Instagram (@period_t1) and you can talk to me about it.

Thank you so much for reading this and I hope you found it beneficial for yourself or gave you a better understanding of how others may feel. Make sure to be kind to everyone. Start a conversation because you never know, they could be your best friend. Just be yourself and don’t let anyone take you for granted PERIODT.

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