The 2 Most Deadly World Dictators Are Teaming Up | How Safe Are We?

Lately, the NEWS about the invasion of Ukraine by Russia has been minimal despite the growing threat of another world war. So I think it’s time to bring up a new revelation that I have discovered amidst hundreds of other repetitive NEWS reports. It’s time we check in again and refocus on what could become a threat to the lives of everyone around the world.

I don’t make this post with the aim to scare anyone or to cause you to have anxiety. I am making this post because it is the truth and sometimes that can be frightening. Still, it is vital that everyone knows what is actually going on so we aren’t manipulated into forgetting the current crisis.

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The thing is, I found this information from “The Independent” which is one of the largest, most reliable NEWS articles for many years. So I want you to know I am not making this up and I’m not drawing up my own conclusions. Instead, I have found accurate information that has already been made public. So I am repeating it now to insure this NEWS does not get drowned out by the media and to keep you up to date on the real world.

I had never actually heard this NEWS before actually researching myself, so without further ado, I will elaborate on today’s title. Russia’s dictator, Vladimir Putin, who has recently threatened an attack “unlike anything we have seen before”, has pledged to “expand” their ties with North Korea’s dictator, Kim Jong Un, who runs one of most controlling, oppressive governments in the world. What could go wrong with that? Everything.

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How Their Relationship Started

Surprisingly enough, the two dictators have only met once. This was in 2019 when they discussed economic topics and the countries’ relationships. From what I have read, it was fairly civil and they got on well. Overall, the relationship between Russia and North Korea has been civil for years as they provide economic support, among others.

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Their Relationship Now

Obviously, as made clear in the title of the post, they have grown even closer. But it isn’t quite the friendship you may assume. Instead, they are making plans to provide military support. This was started by a letter sent from Putin to Kim Jong Un stating that he wanted to “expand ties with North Korea”. In response to this letter, Kim has now offered Russia 100,000 “volunteers” to fight Ukraine.

Just for perspective, Russia already has 900,000 soldiers which is five times more than Ukraine has. So to make this number to 1 million soldiers obviously provides a significant advantage that will increase tension once again.

Sure, other countries can provide support to the Ukrainian government, but with Putin threatening world war 3 (which would be nuclear and therefore fatal), there are lots of things to take into precaution. It isn’t so simple as a battle of numbers, especially when one side has life-threatening nuclear weapons.

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In saying that, the countries providing support to Ukraine, such as the US, don’t have a great relationship with Russia or North Korea either. But the common denominator between them is that they both have nuclear weapons. So it’s not to say that a nuclear attack on Ukraine would cause an end to war, but the start of a much larger one. In a way, it would lead to the end of the world as we know it as the US has already threatened to release “fire and fury” on North Korea.

This was said by Donald Trump in 2017, so current president Biden may voice different opinions, but it is obvious they have access to such resources, and who is to say they won’t use them?

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What We Have To Take From This

You may have heard this information before and be asking yourself “what can I even do?”. And that’s a good question because how are we supposed to stop 2 powerful countries from destroying the planet? How are we supposed to make a difference when the governments themselves aren’t even making an impact?

What we have to do is use our voices! I know it may not have worked in a lot of cases. I mean, they don’t even listen to protests about basic human rights, so why would they listen to us now? But that doesn’t mean we can just give up! We need to let everyone know about what is happening. We need to put pressure on the government because enough is enough. I don’t know about you, but I am sick and tired of letting politicians ruin our lives. We have a voice. We have a say. And they haven’t, and never will, take that right away from us!

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It’s important we let everyone know what is happening right now in Russia before it’s too late. Believe me, I know there are so many pressing issues at the moment, but we need to use our strengths in order to make the government listen. They need to start hearing us and using the power they have to get the job done. So maybe I can’t go and order an agreement, maybe I don’t even know what the hell the protocol for this type of shit is! But other people do, but they aren’t fucking doing it! So let’s get spreading the word until it gets to the ones who know what do to and don’t stop until the job is done.

For me, I’m using this blog because I want to put pressure on the people who have a certain responsibility, whether that is to use your platform to inform others, share posts with friends or for politicians to finally make the fucking decision already and get shit done!

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But what will you do?

Like, share, and follow below so you can keep up with the important news and help achieve our goal of making a change in the world. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.


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Is It Ok For A Girl To Shop In The Men’s Section? | Let’s Discuss It

Not to sound like a pick-me girl, but I’m not like other girls. I like to wear comfy baggy clothes, but a lot of the time the good stuff is in the men’s section. Is it ok that I shop there?

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Elvis (2022) | I’ve Watched It, But Should You?

To be completely honest with you, I didn’t have any high hopes for the movie when I heard it was coming out. I thought it would be another one of the “Bohemian Rhapsody” types of movies, which I did like, but was getting kinda bored of. I also didn’t know much about Elvis himself, or… Continue Reading →

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George Ezra Has Been Robbed By TikTok

For those who may not watch TikTok, there has been a sort of trend going around lately of a man that keeps dancing to George Ezra’s song “green, green grass”. Personally, it has ruined the song for me forever and I think many others will agree. I would add a video to this post, however,… Continue Reading →

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Is It Ok For A Girl To Shop In The Men’s Section? | Let’s Discuss It

In the past, I used to be a tom-boy. Not trying to be a “pick me girl” but I wasn’t like the other girls *Debby Ryan smirk*. At the moment I would say I’ve grown out of that type of stuff. Don’t get me wrong I’m not a girly girl, I do love me some baggy clothes, but I also like to dress up a little bit.

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Why Do Women Look In The Men’s Section?

So that’s great for me when I’m in a shop and I’m looking for a summer dress or shorts or whatever the fuck people wear, but then sometimes when I’m looking for a more casual, everyday type of clothes I can’t find anything. They are always either cropped or just too dressy/not what I’m looking for. And I swear if I got a pound for every bloody top or hoodie that looked nice on the rack but then had some weird quote on the front like “Sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come”, I could legitimately start my own clothing brand for real. I do try to get past the quotes but it is just too painful to wear.

More often than not, if I’m in a shop I’ll take a sneaky wee glance into the men’s section just to see what they got. And it comes as no shock when I find exactly what I was looking for (usually an oversized hoodie or top with just a nice pattern or picture). It’s no wonder you guys think we are always angry, you got all the good stuff.

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And just a bit of a catch-up, I don’t have a boyfriend to steal hoodies from. I don’t have an excuse to be in there in case someone asks me why I’m there. I could lie for sure but I am not a good liar. My face is like a human lie detector because one word out of line will turn me red. I can guarantee they’ll be like:

them: hey, do you need some hel-
me: *shaking* I have a boyfriend…
them:
me: *face goes red*
them: what the... Are you ok?
me: yeah, no, I’m fine *nervous chuckle*
also me: *head just explodes*

No word of a lie, that would happen. You know what, my face isn’t even going red so like it’s obviously the truth. As a matter of fact, I’m almost certain it happened the other day.

Will You Be Judged?

In all honesty, though there are times that I really get the urge to go into the men’s section I never end up buying something because I feel like I’m being judged. But by who? Literally, who is judging me? Nobody! And I can tell you that now but I know when I’m in that situation I feel watched. And for why? As if I am a Kardashian or some crap.

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I decided to post about this because my friend was out shopping with her boyfriend the other day and she said she bought a really nice top from the men’s section and I was like *clap clap clap*. Giving out a round of applause for doing what I could never do. And she did it with a guy present. I mean it sounds dumb as shit to say out loud… or… in text, but for real it just made me question everything. Imagine what my wardrobe could be looking like right now if I just bought the “men’s” clothes. I would look both amazing and taken *smiles in single*

Does Online Shopping Help?

That stress is one reason why I love online shopping because nobody can see what isle you are in, but it doesn’t stop the other fear of buying men’s clothes. People pointing it out.

I bet some of you are thinking that this shouldn’t even be a problem for me because people go through that type of stuff every day and to a much bigger extent and I completely understand and respect that. I’m really not trying to distract from the much bigger picture, this is just something I find in my life and others that I wanted to talk about.

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Anyways, for me I get really awkward whenever someone is like “my brother literally has that top” and I’m just sitting there like shit! I know I shouldn’t have trusted my mum’s fashion sense. Whenever people say stuff like that it is literally just a comment and they aren’t even judging you but at that moment I just go back to my tom-boy phase which was a very embarrassing point in my life. that’s not me judging tom-boys, I just didn’t have a very good fashion sense. So when they point it out I feel like I must just look bad.

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It could be a literal pair of black Nike shoes and I’d be a bit awkward wearing them. and it truly just is a me problem because I couldn’t give two shits if it was somebody else in the same situation. Like I literally don’t give a crap who wears what as long as they are comfortable in it. I just never make things simple for myself lol. The truth is that men’s clothing can be so much nicer than women’s and, not to get political, but I feel like everyone should feel comfortable shopping wherever the hell they want no matter what gender they associate with.

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Unisex Clothing

I’m not religious but uni-sex clothes are my lord and saviour. Goose and Gander? Don’t mind if I do, bitch. They got the nicest crap and I’ll be throwing my whole purse at them for real, or at least some of it sparingly because I literally am scared of spending money tbh but their prices aren’t too bad so I get a bang for my buck as some may say. Gotta love a bargain

It’s nice to not be stressed about seeing some guy wearing the same clothes as me because it hasn’t got the same label (you know what I mean). Like I don’t have to be worrying that people think I shop in the men’s section. Not that it’s a problem, but for me, I find it uncomfortable. Maybe it’s because I’m an insecure kinda gal who hasn’t fully accepted that they aren’t a girly girl and that it’s ok not to be, but I think we need to normalise looking at the entire shop because you are spending your own money (I hope), so why not get whatever the hell you want?!

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Final Verdict

Just to finish off, I would go and check out Goose and Gander (this isn’t sponsored, I just like their stuff) because they genuinely do have great stuff and I think it is a great thing that their business is doing. The only label clothes need is the one that says how to wash them. Wear what makes you comfy and happy and shop in whatever fucking isle you want to! So to answer my question, Is it ok for a girl to shop in the men’s section? YES! I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.


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How Is The Queen Still Alive?

Summary of The Queen The queen’s health has become a great topic during the last few months, especially after her jubilee when she could not attend various events due to medical reasons. But I mean, who can blame her? She is literally 96 years old! I’m 1/5th of her age and I’m sick of this… Continue Reading →

Is This The End Of The NHS Mental Health Service?

Introduction Since the 5th of July, 1948, the UK has been blessed with free healthcare through the NHS, helping to provide critical treatment and medicine for UK citizens. Included in the NHS are the mental health service with psychologists, mental health nurses and many more specialised workers who work to improve the lives of others… Continue Reading →

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What Is FOMO and How It Affects My Life

This post might make me seem like the most boring person ever, or just completely weird, and I respect that tbh. It is what it is. But I wanted to make a post about it because there is always so much stuff going on during summer that I see on social media and I feel… I don’t think bad is the right word but like I feel uncomfy and as though I missed out on something by not being there and I think it’s important to address it for your own sake I guess.

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What Is FOMO?

Fear Of Missing Out

I’m sure a majority of you knew this, but in case you didn’t, FOMO just stands for “fear of missing out”. Actually the first time I heard it was in a vine and it really confused me because I had never heard it and didn’t realise it was just short for something else so I literally was so confused. I tried to find the video for you but literally couldn’t find it and I wasn’t about to start looking through all the vine compilations, but if that is something you are wanting to do, the vine person was called TooTurntTina. It also is not necessary for this post whatsoever so do with that information what you will.

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Basically, it is feeling as though you are going to/have missed out on something. For me, I just feel left out and even if I were to miss a day of school or have to go in late, I would be kinda worried that I was going to miss something and then in the end I would have no friends.

And that’s quite the big jump you know, but that’s just how my brain works lol

How Has It Affected Me?

That heading makes it sound like I have some sort of condition but literally, it isn’t that deep. It is pretty annoying though, I’ll tell you that because I could really not be arsed to do something, but then all of a sudden I think that something completely ground-breaking will happen, so if I don’t go I’m gonna miss it.

As I said before, I feel as though missing something will result in me just having no friends. But I’m guessing a lot of you will be like “this girl has got to chill the fuck out” and you are right. I 100% agree, but you know me, I love to challenge myself. Never let them know your next thought. Missing a day of school? Seems like eternal loneliness to me!

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So, apart from keeping me on my toes, what does this quirky way of thinking do to my everyday life? First off, it’s useful to establish what type of person I am. I’m not gonna lie, I’m generally an anxious person. I love a little spontaneity, but I love sticking to a schedule and planning in advance. I like to be at home and comfy by myself, but if I’m not around people for more than half a day, we’ll just say it gets a bit dark up in the ol’ noggin.

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Now we have that established, it’s easy to understand that it can get a little confusing, or stressful when I am put in the situation of choosing between whether to do something or not. There are a lot of things that I have to think about within a short space of time before making a decision. You may say I’m indecisive but the fact is I know what I want to do. More likely than not I want to just stay at home or just not do what they are suggesting but then I also gotta think of what I could be missing out on. They could start forming a closer bond and I would end up just being an accessory to the group or maybe they could end up meeting someone famous. Honestly, though it doesn’t make sense because who the fuck are you gonna meet in a Mcdonald’s in Northern Ireland? Fucking Ronald McDonald?

A lot of people just have the attitude of just saying yes to everything because you won’t regret going, you’ll only regret not going. And usually, that is the way it ends up, especially as my twin always goes to everything and obviously if she goes then I can’t make up an excuse to not go, so I usually don’t have much of an option, but a lot of the time it is just draining and in reality, I just want to be in my fucking bed.

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The weirdest part about it is when I’m scared of missing school. Who the fuck doesn’t want to miss a day of school? I used to like it in primary school because the only thing you would miss is what the fox said but you can catch up on that later. But with high school, if you miss a day or a period, the next time you come in either the whole building will be in ashes or you’ll have finished a whole topic which just happens to be the longest and most complicated of the entire year and now you’ve got a pile of homework and you need to teach yourself the whole subject for the next lesson.

I could be seeing the light but I’ll be thinking about how much I am going to miss in school. Honestly, I don’t know if that says more about me or the schooling system but something ain’t right. I feel so ashamed or I feel like a fraud. Unless I have literally broken all my bones I can just tell the teachers are looking at me like “that he just wanted to miss maths” or “that dumb bitch doesn’t even know how to find the area of an oval” as if I even do maths/need it for my future.

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It is crazy how much you can miss in one day and sometimes that fear can help you to do some amazing things like maybe skydiving, trying new foods or literally just having some special bonding time with your friends, but at some point, it becomes more of a burden. It feels as if you are forced to be there which just makes everything worse I don’t really know how to stop that yet and it may take some time but I hope that sometime in the future I can be as secure with myself and my friendships as to not feel terrified by the thought of missing out. It just spoils so much and in reality, I should just focus on myself.

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I mean, so what if I don’t get invited to every single party or go out every single night with a bunch of different people. That isn’t me and if I went out and did that I would most likely be miserable. It gives me the energy to do the things that I want to do and just because I am not that social of a person, doesn’t make me any less interesting or worthy. It doesn’t make me weird, it just makes me happier.

And not everybody is out every day and night doing everything imaginable. You only think that way because only people like that post their entire life. There are probably a handful of people who actually live like that because who the fuck is gonna post a photo of themselves having some quiet time or just hanging out by themselves? There are probably so many other people who feel the same as you do but they just don’t post about it so therefore you only see those that have done so much. In all honestly, they have probably just posted photos from a while ago or they literally took a photo of them having a great time when in reality it was a shit show.

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I guess what I want you to take away from this post is that you shouldn’t worry about missing out and you should take life less seriously. Who gives a fuck if you miss out on a teacher having a mental breakdown? You can talk about it later if you want but in the end, it will hardly go down in history. And if you don’t end up hanging out with your friends on the weekend, that’s fine. If they are any type of good person they will understand and not judge you.

Most likely the things that feel so big and important now you won’t even remember in the future. It’s about doing things when you want to so you can get the full experience and joy of doing it. So I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.


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The Story Of The Phrase That Changed My Life

Let me set the scene for you real quick. It’s 4.30am. You’re at the airport. You’re at the back of a long line for a service that hasn’t even opened yet. An hour ago you were asleep or at least just woken up by your alarm so you kinda feel like you’re in some sort of dream or parallel universe, but you still brought your eyebrow pencil to try and not scare everyone around you and to look half alive at least. Overall, you’re just uncomfy, and tired, and your back is aching from the carry on bag that you are using to hold all the useless crap that didn’t fit in your suitcase. So what do you do? Start complaining. You start to say “why is this flight so early?” and “why aren’t we even moving, I just want to go to bed!”.

Not a pretty sight, am I right? Well, I’m sure you can guess this was me last April on my way to Spain for the week. It was the first foreign trip I had taken since COVID and I was really excited, but, despite the fact I would say I’m a morning person, I’m not a crazy 3.30am wake-up type of gal, so we’ll say that morning wasn’t the most enjoyable. Funnily enough though, as I had one eyebrow completed, my friend’s mum and boyfriend came into the airport too. It was a nice surprise and they were on their way to go to Portugal. The line still hadn’t started to move so we chatted for a while, or, the mum’s chatted. They got onto how it was so early and how the airport hasn’t even opened yet, and then the boyfriend said something that kinda stuck with me.

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I don’t know if it was the fact I was practically sleepwalking or what, but what he said kinda “opened my eyes”. It wasn’t revolutionary, I knew exactly what he meant, but just in that situation it really changed my mood. I hope I’m not hyping this up too much though for real, but I’ll tell you what he said. In the middle of us talking about how fed up we were standing in this line and being up so early and already having made a mistake (forgetting to pre-pay for parking) he said…

“First world problems, am I right?”

Typing that out sounds less impactful but at that moment it really made me question why the fuck I was complaining. Really I was complaining about how I had to go and travel to a luxurious, warm country where I would be sunbathing and making great memories. I was literally complaining about how hard my life is having to wake up at 3.30am to go on a fucking holiday. When you think about it, I had no right to complain.

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And I apply that to so much in my life now. If my phone doesn’t work or I maybe have to wait another 5 minutes for my mum to pick me up from school, or if I’m slightly cold in my safe and secure home, I think about how lucky much worse it could be.

Sometimes when I say that I wonder if people assume that I’m dismissing all of their feelings because we can still have problems. Maybe they aren’t the same as everyone else’s, but we still have problems and we shouldn’t feel guilty for being sad in the life we have. Even with celebrities we look at them and think they have it all so when they feel lonely or sad then a bunch of us judge them and think they are ungrateful and ignorant, but in reality they are human and life isn’t easy even for the people who seem to have it all.

So I just want to make sure that what I mean by this post is that you should always look at the bigger picture, not to make yourself feel like a bad person, but to help you think through your problems and realise that it’s all going to be ok. It helps me to put a more positive light onto situations and then it just makes situations better for me. It isn’t just to keep you “woke” but it benefits your life because you take in every second of every horribly beautiful moment.

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I hope that made sense because it’s always hard to convey what you mean into text. That’s why I hated doing English in school because I would be able to understand and I got what they meant pretty much, but I either couldn’t put it into words, or I couldn’t put it into the words they wanted. So that’s great that I have a blog where communication is key *thumbs up*.

So yeah, I am gonna go now but I just want to give a heads up that VERY SOON I am going to release a post about 2 nights ago when I went to the concert of my FAVOURITE PERSON IN THE ENTIRE WORLD and when I say I cried after, it is no joke. I have that post-concert crisis/depression at the moment and it’s hitting real hard this time. So look forward to that ok! I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.


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19 Reasons Why | The USA Have To Listen

I know a lot of my posts are usually just for the shits and giggles and I try to make light of situations going on because that’s how I express my thoughts, but there is no way this could ever be flipped into some sort of joke. There is not one thing about this that… Continue Reading →

Have You Amber Heard About This?

It comes as no shock that there is currently a trial between Johnny Depp and Amber Heard. Just to clear things up, Amber Heard is an actor… mostly. But for real I have never seen or heard of her ever before. I’m pretty sure Johnny said she was on Aquaman or something. All you need… Continue Reading →

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My Life Is an Unsuccessful Netflix Show

I don’t know what to call this feeling, but you know when you get a sudden realisation that this is in fact real life. Like you aren’t gonna start into a new season or a new episode of a show. You are just gonna start the next day with the same problems, the same things to think about, the same responsibilities blah blah blah.

It happened to me just the other day because I recently got a new job and the first two shifts have been great but then one morning when I was getting changed I saw the uniform and was like shit, I really gotta do this for a while now. It’s weird though because it isn’t like I hate the job, I mean, I literally only started it, but I just realised that I need to continue working. It felt like that had been an episode of my life and that I would move on from it and it would just not be mentioned anymore. But no, I have the future to “look forward” to.

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That sounds mad depressing but like it’s just kinda weird for real. It’s almost as though I have become too “in the moment” that I forget there is anything outside of that moment. Now I’m not great for words so tell me if this makes any sense whatsoever, but I feel a bit unreal if you get me. Not as if I am a ghost looking down at myself, or as somebody watching a TV show of me, but like a VR headset. I know I’m in my body but then I realise that this is fucking life and that my actions have consequences.

Listen, I’m not doing anything bad if that’s what you are thinking. I’m not some sort of murderer who is now online like “whoops so I made a mistake”. It’s just like, for example, I signed up for a job, I got the job, and now I still gotta do it. Like it isn’t an achievement or level that I’ve unlocked or passed. This is quite literally real life.

When I say my life is like a TV show, it isn’t that I have a bunch of interesting stuff going on or any big plot twists. I’m quite literally the most basic bitch you’ll find. I’m mentally fucked, I’m blonde, blue eyes, not really pretty but not really ugly, chatty but also can’t start a conversation, that kind of situation your know.

Oh shit… I’m that one “main character”, not like the other girls, pick me bitch. Wow, I hate that but I swear I’m not trying to make myself sound like that. Wow… I instantly despise everything I say.

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Anyways, I think what I tried to get across was that I don’t think my life is a series because it’s exciting or thrilling. I mean I’m no Kardashian (great show btw highly recommend and I’m not ashamed to say it). It’s just that I forget that this is real life.

That was a hectic wee post I guess. A little bit of a brain dump to be honest. I have been quite busy lately with all this bloody A level exams and shit. I’m really not even sure if this post made any sense but I’m hoping somebody understands me or can direct me to the closest psych ward? Lol, anyway, I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.


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The Story Of The Phrase That Changed My Life

Let me set the scene for you real quick. It’s 4.30am. You’re at the airport. You’re at the back of a long line for a service that hasn’t even opened yet. An hour ago you were asleep or at least just woken up by your alarm so you kinda feel like you’re in some sort… Continue Reading →

I’m OK With Following The Crowd Right Now

I don’t know if this is the social anxiety coming out of me right now but like for real I just let others decide who I am for real. Like it’s not that I’m fake, I’m just moldable? That sounds weird as fuck but like I will change my personality to suit the person I’m… Continue Reading →

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I’m OK With Following The Crowd Right Now

I don’t know if this is the social anxiety coming out of me right now but like for real I just let others decide who I am for real. Like it’s not that I’m fake, I’m just moldable? That sounds weird as fuck but like I will change my personality to suit the person I’m with. Tbh I think we all do that a little, but then people are always on social media like “be yourself” and “don’t follow the crowd” but honestly I’m kinda thinking that if there’s a crowd it must be something good.

I’m no motivational speaker, I mean I literally don’t have an ounce of motivation in me *manic smile* but like I don’t get if I’m basic. It’s just so much easier because life is stressful enough having to figure out literally every fucking thing about the entire universe… or at least that’s how in feel. I was also kinda destined to be a basic bitch because I’m blonde so it have no other choice really. Literally if you were to get the essence of what basic is, it would be me. A blonde bitch who likes Starbucks iced lattes. I’m not even ashamed about the Starbucks though. It is popular for a reason.

Basic clothes are kinda fun though… or maybe not fun but like easy. I can put on a fucking hoodie and leggings and call it a day. And it’s also comfy as hell. Sure I care about how people look at me and I do think that they think I’m such a boring and ugly bitch, but if I were to wear something a bit “different” those thoughts would be even worse.

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Do you know what? I’m a saver. If there is a fear of spending money, it’s me for real. I don’t know what it is, but it works because basic clothes are usually less expensive than trendy ones. Call me weird or… cheap, but things look better when they’re an absolute bargain. You know imma go around to everyone saying “Guess how much my socks cost?!” Or some shit like that. Don’t get me wrong if someone were to gift me a fancy wee top or something nice, I wouldn’t turn it away. Call me bloody bargain hunter, I don’t care because imma be the one who just saved 25% on a top 😏

I think the point I was wanting to get at here is that I think people have too much pressure to be someone different and to find who they are as quick as possible so they can stand out and while I think that’s all good and you definitely should be yourself, I don’t think there should be such an urgency. I always hear people my age being like “I barely know who I am!” Not in a mentally ill, kinda ‘I should find you help’ kinda way but like they don’t know what to do in the future and they feel like they should but bitch take a breathe and realize that we’ve got fucking time. For real though. Maybe you didn’t choose the right uni course for what you want to do or maybe you are near retirement and your like “I wish I did this instead” then you can still go and do it.

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Sometimes it’s easier to go with the flow and let people decide some things for you. I know at the moment I prefer not to stand out too much and kinda see where things take me because I have no clue what else to do. How am I supposed to navigate my way through life without any guidance from others. I kinda just hope that eventually the flow will go through something that I find interesting or more like me. I never thought being myself would be so difficult and life is difficult enough already so imma be basic for a second and you can do whatever it is you want.

Think of it as being neutral. I’m not going into anything with a set opinion or expectation, so I’ll just see what I come out with. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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My Life Is an Unsuccessful Netflix Show

I don’t know what to call this feeling, but you know when you get a sudden realisation that this is in fact real life. Like you aren’t gonna start into a new season or a new episode of a show. You are just gonna start the next day with the same problems, the same things… Continue Reading →

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Kitchen or War | The Women’s Crossroad

Please let me tell you that I am in fact a girl! I am not some man that is about to start slabbering about how women are supposed to make everyone a fucking sandwich and look after their kids while the man is at war. I also want to say that this is light-hearted and… Continue Reading →

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The Raging 20’s, Is It an Inevitable Disaster?

I’m sorry, but between my last post and this one, we have literally gone through a war. That’s not even a joke sadly enough. Corona is kinda fading away (except the Queen has joined the Corona Club) but then we gotta keep the drama alive so we start into world war 3! Sounds like a… Continue Reading →

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The power of apps

This could possibly be my most dumb fucking post because I know I’m about to sound like I’m some sort of old bitch who just discovered the internet, but honestly, I just think of a lot of random crap and I like to share it, whether you like it or not. I mean, if you are gonna think about something, why not go all out and question every single little aspect of it? Go big or go home right?

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So today I’m obviously talking about how apps have the power to literally switch things up so quickly. Like I don’t even think we realise at some points how freaky it really is. Let me give a few examples to get your brain up to speed. I have this tree app that grows a tree when I study but if I go on my phone the tree will die, so it helps to keep me motivated. But the thing is it MAKES me motivated. And it’s so weird because obviously they don’t plant actual trees (unless you earn enough coins to plant a real one, but they also could just be lying lol) but I feel as though if this tree dies, I am a failure.

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That sounded like we were getting into some deep crap but Nah, it just actually works. All you old people can keep on talking about how you had to “use your imagination” when you were bored, or “have to spend your life savings to send a messenger pigeon just to say hi” but I’m gonna stick with the new way because it fucking works. If it means it runs my life, then so be it. I couldn’t give a fuck honestly.

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But then there is one thing about them that doesn’t make their power so scary, but I’ll talk about that later in the post because I thought this intro is getting way too long and I’m bored of it honestly.

Post Content
1. What can they do?
2. What can we do?
3. What would I like?
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What Can They Do?

Honestly, It would be easier to say what they can’t do because these hoes will run your life like you’re a sims character (*conspiracy senses tingling*). There are apps out there that remind you to take water, tell you how long you sleep, give you a whole timetable for every little thing in your life and I bet there’s one that wipes your ass as well. It’s crazy but I suppose necessary because of the price we pay for the literal phone.

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Don’t even get me started on the absolute scam of having to buy apps. Sure they are only 50p but back when I was younger (literally only 6 years ago) that would be my whole life savings. And for what? To be able to give Talking Tom a fucking bow tie? Like, that shit doesn’t even matter. I do have to admit that there are a few apps that I have bought but I swear I had my reasons, or at least I did at the time.

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  1. Minecraft – That was £5 but that was a small price to pay to get priceless street-cred back in the day. It gave me power behind those metal bars (school). So honestly, that was a pretty valid purchase and I’m not afraid to tell you all about it. I know you’re just jealous
  2. Book Tracker – Ok so… I… I don’t even have an excuse for that one. I was going through a phase, OK! Get off my back for flip sake. I just wanted to be a quirky book gorl *Debbie ryan’s my hair behind my ear* Let’s just say that I’m never going to get that money back every again. I stopped reading because that shit wasn’t for me, but now thay my new year’s resolution is to read 10 books this year (which is 10 more than last year so don’t bully me) I had to motivate myself. And guess what? I literally just use “good reads” which does the exact same thing but for free. So yeah…
  3. Driving Theory – I just got this the other day and I’m going cute myself some slack because that’s a smart £4.99. That £4.99 is gonna get me a driving license (in some way) and a whole life of freedom, and it was kinda also my only choice so…
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Isn’t it weird though how much we rely on apps? Like I literally need that app to be able to drive and to complete a legal requirement to do a driving theory test. It’s kinda mental but I also know there is someone else behind another computer just watching all this money roll into their account and honestly I respect that. You gotta do what you gotta do, right?

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What Can We Do?

Compared to apps, we can’t do shit. Not by ourselves at least. We literally rely on an app to tell us when everyone’s birthday is and to literally tell us where we are. Have you heard of “what3words”? It’s crazy. You could be in the middle of nowhere and you can be found. It does seem kinda funny though because imagine you were one of the 999 people and you got a call and they just said “pig lumpy butter” and then they just passed out or hung up. Like you would probably think you’d gone mad or it was a prank call when really there is a girl who was just murdered in the middle of the desert. You would end up picking up the phone and going:

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999 operator: Hello, what is your emergency?
caller: CHIC… CHICKEN BRICK COAST… COASTER
999 operator: Right, I don’t know who the fuck you are but this is the 3rd time you’ve tried to call and if you call again I swear to god!
*hangs up*
999 operator: *watching TV*
News presenter: Just in, a girl who was missing for 26 years was just found in England. We asked her where she was held all this time and she said, to be exact, “chicken brick coaster”. There you have it guys, this app is a life-saver.

Like you have to admit that sounds fucking hilarious.

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One thing that I also wanted to mention, just to give humans a wee ego-boost after slamming us for being lazy shits, we still do have the power over apps. How? We can just delete that shit. No joke it’s kinda funny when you think about it because, unlike anything else in this world, if it’s bugging us or we just don’t like it, we can delete that shit. “Ugh, I can’t get past this level” DELETE. “Why does this say I need more sleep?” fucking delete it

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I can’t trust myself with that much power. I wish you could do that in real life though. Just deadass delete any inconvenience. “wow, I failed geography!” deleted. *someone annoys me* deleted. Like it would make everything so much easier. I would wake up on a Monday and just hit delete, you know.

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What Would I Like?

Call me a bitch, but it’s time to talk about me, or at least what I would like in an app. Woah, that sounds like a really shit online dating show. “What I would like in an app”, I CLAIM IT THOUGH so if you are gonna use it you gotta give me a cut, ok? I’m almost sure that’s legally binding? :/

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Anyways, what I would love an app to do for me is literally plan everything for me. Now I’m not talking about fucking google calendar type shit, no, I want it to just make me a full schedule in an instant in the most efficient way possible. I don’t give a shit if it needs to hear me making plans, but it gotta just have it done because one part of making a schedule that I find scary is having to time it right. Like is that just me? I pretty much give myself an hour to wash my face in the morning just so I know I have enough time just in case I was too, oh, I don’t know, fucking die? It may seem like a bit of a push but I would appreciate it.

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Then, if we could get that done, you could have a bonus package where the app will DO the things on your schedule and if you have any type of social interaction, someone that works with the app will personally call them and tell them we can’t attend, without making said person sad. I mean, hey, I’m just thinking out loud.

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That one was kinda dumb, so give me another chance. I would love it if there was an app that could genuinely teach me stuff. Like I know that sounds dumb as fuck and you probably think I’m secretly your teacher trying to get everyone to do more work, but like I find learning things that I don’t need to learn fun. Like if there was an app that taught you about literal fucking mechanics or physics, but in the style of Duolingo, I think that would be so fun. But it would kinda literally be very difficult and would have to be the same quality as Duolingo because you could make it so shite. I don’t know if that would be possible but imagine if you could just learn sign language that way, or random shite like how a car works, or full-on topics like a certain time in history.

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I just love to know really random, pointless, yet interesting facts because it makes me feel smart. It would be fun I must admit. But I don’t know if you would all agree with me, but jeez, get your own blog. Also, the app would have to be free. The foot is down on this one, guys.

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And lastly, just to end things off, I have one last to add. It’s a question really, but what apps do you want to see? What do you need in your life that your phone can do for you. I mean it could literally be anything. It might not be possible but honestly, I couldn’t care less lol I just like to hear your ideas. Maybe one that can record/remember your dreams for you so that if you have the most amazing dream you will have it there with you forever and you can also check whether you were dreaming or if it was real life because that’s been happening to me lately and I am kinda really confused about what is real and what isn’t so yeah lol.

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Anyways, that’s all for today. I guess I’ll say sorry for not posting in a while but literally I’ve been so exhausted and life has just happened you know. Like literally life is fucking crazy and I know you know that but I’ll try to keep up the motivation. Literally, dreading everything in life right now, but hey, these are the best years of my life, right? :/ I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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Is Texting A Ticking Time Bomb?

From the perspective of a 16-year-old girl, I would have to say yes, texts are a ticking time bomb. Call me old fashioned, but honestly, I don’t trust that shit. They are so unpredictable. Now I could lie to you and say that is the reason I don’t text people much, but the plain truth… Continue Reading →

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Do You Know What’s Weird? | Plants are alive

Now please don’t think I’m some sort of alien conspiracy bitch, like I understand that plants are a living thing because I went to school (not in the USA) and did biology (again, not in the USA) so I would say I know a thing or two. I also think about things too much which… Continue Reading →

Why Does Nobody Appreciate A Bargain?

POV: it’s Saturday. You are with a friend on the train and because we are so spontaneous we say “hey, why don’t we go to Botanic instead?”. You feel crazy because you are now getting off one stop later, what a rush. You go around and live the quirky life you desired as you shop… Continue Reading →

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Let’s Discuss It | Pronouns

Let’s Discuss It | Pronouns

Can people please just get over it and wise up because it just isn’t that hard bitch. Firstly I’d like to say that my pronouns are she/her and I’m straight so I can’t really speak of experience but I want to talk from the perspective of just an accepting human being which is literally the bare minimum but still so many people can’t understand the concept of accepting everyone as a human being.

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In the past few years, this has become a more talked about topic and that is amazing because you get to see the lives of so many people and how we are all so different yet so similar at the same time. It’s amazing to see but at the same time, you have to deal with all the fucking idiots on this planet. I don’t know how you all do it because for me I literally start throwing hands at one snarky comment so how do you even cope? It would do my head in especially because they have no point yet thinking they are right. How do you actually reason with idiots? That is some willpower I must admit.

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The first big thing I wanted to talk about in this post is for all those people out there who are now making public the pronouns that you feel comfortable with. On behalf of all the people in the world, I apologize. Some of these people are fucking idiots and I don’t know where they came from but we are working on it I swear. They have absolutely no right to think they are better than you or know better than you because they really don’t. Who are they to think they know how you feel or should feel? They can barely tell the difference between a gun and a taser so why do they think they are geniuses?

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I really respect you all because it must be such a hard thing to feel as though if you are truly yourself you will be shunned or hated. Like it shouldn’t be like that for anyone and I hope you have people in your life who do love you for you and don’t look at you differently just because of how you feel. And although I can’t relate to everything you go through, I just want you to know that you aren’t a bad person or wrong for feeling the way you do because that’s just life. You deserve to be happy and be yourself and if people don’t like that then they can fuck right off. You do you and the people that follow will be amazing and love you for you.

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Secondly, I just have one question? Why the fuck do people have such a problem with it? Make it make sense because last time I checked it doesn’t fucking matter. Correct me if I’m wrong but pronouns don’t affect me in the slightest. Maybe I will just refer to them in a different way because, duh, they have pronouns, but apart from that (which literally isn’t hard anyway) I don’t know why you idiots gotta make such a fuss about it. Honestly, the only reason it affects your life is because you are causing such a fuss. You didn’t need to do fucking hate protests and shit. It’s true though because someone will tell you what their pronouns are and absolutely nothing fucking changes but then you gotta go and make a big deal out of it and then complain that it is affecting your life when all of this was caused by you anyway. Someone, please take a scan of their brain please because there is something going wrong in there.

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Also, did anyone notice something from this post? When I was referencing a singular person, I could say they/them and it was still accurate 😮 WOW what a revelation! Who would have known that it is still grammatically correct and just valid in general to say they/them even when you reference one person. And listen, if you are going down to the comments to say “well I did realise because it is 100% wrong” I will personally fling you out of the planet. No joke. I will Mrs Trunchbull the shit out of you and throw you into the vacuum like your a spider on my wall. Just try me, bitch.

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Lastly, this one is in regards to all the people I am planning to throw away and I know that you will have read to this point because I’m sure you are scrolling down to the comment section or to report me (honestly go right ahead because I’d love to knock some sense into you all, but also who the fuck gave you the right to go on my blog? Leave). If you aren’t one of these people, then thank you very much and while it is the bare minimum to accept and respect others, that is still amazing and we all are grateful for you! Now that the idiots are left, let me tell you something. Mind your own fucking business. Words can’t describe the disappointment I have in you and while you don’t know me, I sure as hell hope you know that everyone else around you that has a mind will feel the same way so fix whatever issues you have with yourself and do better.

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You can still change and not everyone will forgive you but at least you then know that you are a better person. If you care about the “way it should be” you have some real issues and that is no excuse to take it out on others. Leave them alone because they are trying to live their best life and you are fucking that up. There is no argument you could make to say that there is a set way to live your life so shut your fucking mouth and listen to others because I don’t think you’re fit to think for yourself yet. The world doesn’t revolve around you. You are not correct. And if you make fun of someone for how they identify themself then you are one of the most shallow people and you need to change big time.

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Oh, and as a quick side note which is also really important to add, THE BIBLE IS NO EXCUSE TO BE HOMOPHOBIC OR UNNACCEPTING OF ANYONE IN ANY WAY! If you are homophobic and read the bible, you are still fucking homophobic. If you have issues with the way people are and read the bible, you are still a bad person. So don’t even come at me with the bible verses shit because whether or not it’s real, it is not relevant or correct anymore, so take responsibility for your opinions and be better.

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That may or may not have got a bit heated but I hope I got my point across. I haven’t posted in a while because life does be crazy, so maybe that’s why I had a bit of a rant. I’m also fucking exhausted which never helps, but I still stand by everything I just said. If you are someone who gets attacked or judged because of their pronouns, please do comment below and tell me if I said anything wrong or did anything wrong in this post because obviously I don’t know but I want to make everyone feel accepted. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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The power of apps

This could possibly be my most dumb fucking post because I know I’m about to sound like I’m some sort of old bitch who just discovered the internet, but honestly, I just think of a lot of random crap and I like to share it, whether you like it or not. I mean, if you… Continue Reading →

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The Most Common US Misconceptions About The UK

This post is gonna come off as fucking cheeky and kind of playing with American stereotypes, but I want to make it clear to you now that I 100% mean it. So, sorry I guess but it has to be done. To be fair though, when was there ever a need for you to learn… Continue Reading →

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How To Describe My Blog

Sometimes when I am writing a new post I sometimes look at myself in the mirror and wonder what the fuck I’m even talking about. What genre is this? I would say comedy but then again I don’t want to seem cocky and I don’t even know if people understand my humour. I would also… Continue Reading →

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Merry Chrysler!

Merry Chrysler!

Merry Christmas guys! I want to keep this post short and sweet because honestly who the fuck wants to read this on Christmas but if you are then I respect you and you a real one. But anyway lol I know this year has been kinda very shite but it’s nearly over and we made it through so well done! I also hope you all still have a great Christmas even though I know a lot of us haven’t really felt very Christmasy lately which I don’t really know why and is kind of a shame but like oh well. Hopefully, we’ll fit the vibe check on the day.

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I’m not gonna say all the “it’s about giving not receiving” but like enjoying getting the gifts you deserve and earned. Don’t feel bad because you should be treated like royalty. Obviously, we all need to stay humble and be so grateful for what we get in life but know that as long as you react in the right way and focus on what is important, you can have nice things.

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I also predict that a lot of you will be reading this at the end of the night when you have your annual Christmas cry and I want you to know that it’s ok and you aren’t a weirdo. Christmas most likely went perfectly and for whatever reason, you are crying for at the moment, it will pass and everyone is ok. Usually, for me, it’s kinda like your emotions catch up with you because you are just non-stop all day, or you have hyped it up so much in your head that you are sad that it’s gone and you have to go back to normal life. There is also the fact that you feel as though you may not have been perky all night and you kind of overthink about what you did or said. I have found we all get this crying surge at the end of Christmas and you are just standing there like “ok what the actual fuck is wrong with me? Why am I crying on Christmas?” But honestly, it’s normal and you’ll get through it eventually.

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So I suppose I won’t keep you for much longer, but I hope you have an amazing day doing whatever it is you do on Christmas. Hopefully, it is all pretty much back to normal for you all and you get to enjoy something semi-normal this year. Let yourself enjoy this day and go out and have fun. Also here is a quick reminder for people who get really stressed out about presents and feeling bad because you don’t think you spent as much on them or gave as much as them, just know that they appreciate you so much and anything that shows you thought of them for even 1 second is probably so thrilled no matter what you give them. Don’t be so hard on yourself and I’m expecting to hear how your day went. I hope you have a great Christmas, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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I Don’t Get The Guinness Book Of World Records

Maybe it’s because I have no skills of my own but like I don’t understand the hype of the Guinness book of world records because the only thing it did was make me confused at why the drink my dad loves is making a book? Like… make it make sense. It’s kinda cool I guess… Continue Reading →

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Let’s Discuss It | Pronouns

Can people please just get over it and wise up because it just isn’t that hard bitch. Firstly I’d like to say that my pronouns are she/her and I’m straight so I can’t really speak of experience but I want to talk from the perspective of just an accepting human being which is literally the… Continue Reading →

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Let’s Discuss It| Stating The Obvious

I’m not really an angry person if I’m gonna be honest and although this doesn’t really make me that angry, it gets me in that manic laughing phase which is kinda fucking scary. Like you know that point where you just look at someone who just said something to you and you don’t have any… Continue Reading →

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Which Sense of Humour Do You Have?

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I think that to start this post we need to figure out what the word “humour” really means. I’m no Oxford dictionary but in my opinion, it is the things we find funny and that we enjoy making/hearing jokes about. Nothing fancy just a basic bitch definition. I guess now that is out of the way, we can start to get into it. I will also mention some of the ones that I would fit myself into which I suppose is multiple but we can all relate at some points. Don’t forget to tell us in the comment section what sense of humour you have.

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Dark Humour

We are all familiar with what dark humour is, but for all the idio- people out there I will explain. It’s basically when you find things that are supposed to be serious, and are quite morbid, to be funny. It can also be quite smart and well thought through despite the fact it was off the cuff and that makes it a bit worrying because you may find it funny but you also like “oh shit is this person ok” or “oh shit is this person going to kill me”. But at that point, it is a judgement call and in my experience, it’s just a coping mechanism.

I will now give you all a few examples which I actually am scared might offend someone in some way. Not as in they are gonna be offensive but like I don’t want people to be like “that was really disrespectful” or some shit. But THAT IS DARK HUMOUR and you better get over yourself bitch!

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  • Where did sally go when the bomb went off?
    everywhere.
  • This is just a general statement, but like if someone were to hurt themselves then someone with a dark sense of humour would laugh. Like it do be funny though. Kids be falling and tripping for no god damn reason
  • This example isn’t a phrase either but it’s from a video and literally makes me piss myself because it’s so funny but there is this video of this blind girl who is talking with this news presenter and they are talking about everything the girl has achieved in her life and the presenter goes “is there anything you can’t do” just because she is so amazing and the girl dead ass says “see”
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Sarcastic Humour

This humour is my cuppa tea but it’s also a wee bit risky if I say so myself. Like you gotta be careful who you say this too. It can sometimes come with a little bit of truth and may actually expose yourself a wee bit too but the added risk is fun I suppose. But what is it? It’s basically just saying something but not really meaning it. I guess you know what sarcasm is and it’s basically that but making it. It’s an art form, to be honest (that was kind of an example of sarcasm but like it’s also hard to get across in text so it takes a bit of expression and tone as well. Don’t ask me why I am developing this shit so much). This is my go-to when it comes to joking with friends and to be honest it makes up my whole personality trait to the point that it isn’t humour anymore, it’s just down-right sad.

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Yeah but enough of that I suppose. Let’s get into a few wee examples. To be honest, they make up the majority of my posts because I just find everything a joke, for example, my life, and this can also slot into another sense of humour that I mention later. These are also kinda one-liners and a bit situational so like you kinda had to be there so like if you don’t find them funny please don’t attack me because I will in fact cry 🙂

two spidermen pointing meme
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  • Friend “can you help me with something”
    Me “no…”
    *stare at each other awkwardly like the 2 spidermen guys*
  • Me “do you know what I literally so much?”
    Friend “what?”
    Me “you”
    *stare at each other awkwardly like the 2 spidermen guys* again

I’m so fucking lucky my friends get my humour or else I’d literally have nobody in my life right now lol. Like I sound like such a bitch but I swear it is all in good taste

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Actual Humour

To be fair, what is actual humour? Like I guess it’s the classics like knock-knock jokes (despite the fact they’re shite) but like people might not find that humour. Well, I actually don’t really give a fuck and don’t want to talk about that so let’s get into it. This is the basic bitch, default setup, awkward laugh combo platter and if this is your main sense of humour you are either lying or a granny who has been desensitised by the crap jokes they put on the kids shows you are basically forced to watch all day.

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So I guess I’ll give a few but you already know what they are gonna be basically. You don’t have to be a genius to know these and it takes literally one brain cell to understand
– knock knock
who’s there?
Interrupting cow
Interrupting cow wh-
MOOOOOOOO
– Knock knock
Who’s there?
Boo
Boo who?
Well, there is no need to cry about it!

It’s literally so obnoxious ad stupid. It’s literally so unfunny and painful to listen to that you have nothing else to do by laughing. It is just pain

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Self-Depricating Humour

Watch out for these people because behind every self-deprecating joke is some truth. Like you can laugh but also keep an eye out for them lol. I do admit this is another go-to for me and is always easy to do when you hate yourself 😮 (Pulled a wee sneaky one on you). Sadly enough though a lot of people find it funny and use it often. Like we all laugh at something and make the same joke but then all just look around awkwardly like “we really are fucked up aren’t we”. It’s a bonding experience though, also a coping mechanism, but bonding nonetheless. It’s so simple too like it’s sad that we can literally make anything into a self-deprecating joke.

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So now for examples, but I feel like I should also address those bitches who use it for attention. Like they will just out of the blue be like “uh I’m so ugly today lol” and then act sad until someone says “awk no you’re beautiful”. NO! I literally hate that and there is a pretty fucking obvious difference so don’t even try to get yourself out of it if you do that sometimes.

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  • *in some random video an ogre walks down the street (not Shrek though, obviously he’s a babe)*
    Me “ok but who took that video of me?”
  • This next example is literally me the other day and I’m kinda mad about the actual situation but it was a pretty good self-deprecating joke:
    *me literally gets hit in the head by a bottle the idiots in our school are throwing*
    Me – what the actual fuck! Concussed question mark? (yes I say question mark)
    * me also goes on to tell people about how I’ve literally had so many head injuries in my lifetime*
    Me – maybe that’s why I’ve got a big ass forehead?!
  • Me – *does one thing wrong*
    also me – I literally hate myself so much

Sometimes you just gotta take one for the team, ya know? Sacrifice your life for Pakistan GRAPE!

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Teacher Humour

This is an exclusive package that you actually get when you become a teacher. Like that bitch is limited edition and we all gotta respect that as soon as we go into their classroom. Surely they are aware that they can’t make a joke like I can’t make sense of their class. Surely they know that we aren’t over here pissing ourselves and barely being able to breathe because their joke was funny. We just tryna get outta doing work/don’t want to get shouted at. Like I barely heard what you said but if I see the slightest smirk on your face I’m gonna laugh like you just turned into fucking Kevin Hart. You better know I’ll be rolling on the floor.

teacher jokes smh : dankmemes

But seriously though, teachers laugh at everything and joke about everything so we out here getting abs with all the fake laughing we gotta do. Just look at some of these examples:

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  • In my chemistry class my teacher was telling us how to remember the difference between Cations and anions and to be fair they were pretty helpful tips but she thought she was absolutely hilarious. She was like “cations has cat in it and cats are paw-sitive lol, and then anions are like onions and they make you cry, so they are negative” and we just looking at her like ha yeah.
  • Just any time they mention anything about how they would leave their job if not for something else. Like you are literally kind of a bit hurt because they be like “I wish I could just run away and live on a beach where I would never have to work here again haha” or “I would love to do *some other job* but I guess i’m just here lol”. Like damn what the fuck. So we just gotta laugh here to bring the mood back up. Like god damn just teach us some maths so we can get the fuck out of here.

They always gotta do the demonic laugh as well where they like chuckle but like you can see in their eyes that they are crying out for help and literally hate everything. They have good intentions though and for me, it’s usually just a pity laugh.

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Anti-Joke Humour

This is quite similar to sarcastic humour but, if you are an expert like me, you will know the difference. Basically, the difference is that sarcastic humour is kinda more chillaxed and off the cuff, but with anti-joke humour, it’s probably more planned out and thought about. It might have a bit of a delayed laugh as well because obviously, you are expecting a joke but then it’s pretty much just a fact. Oh and yeah that reminds me, an anti-joke is basically setting something up as you would a joke and then the punchline is just matter-of-fact. I’ll give examples obviously but that’s what it is. And if I’m gonna be honest with you, the people who have this as the humour they come up with a lot are probably going through some shit. Like I find it funny and a lot of others do but can never really come up with one and say it in the right way unless I’m in one of my “low patches”. No attack on anyone by the way. I suppose another form of anti-joke is just one that wasn’t intended to be funny but then the way you said it or the way you timed it was just perfect and I respect that tbh.

I’m gonna go into examples now obviously, I mean why do I find the need to say that every fucking time I’m pretty sure that you have got that already. But yeah the first one that I am gonna say is something kinda shocking and I only found out about it a few days ago and it kinda fucked my mind a wee bit.

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  • Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.
  • What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot? Half a cat
  • What’s white and can’t climb a tree? A fridge

Like they are so fucking stupid and like so fucking random but I don’t know why that literally cracks me up. I think it’s just so funny because it literally isn’t funny whatsoever and you kinda just end up looking at the other person in the eyes as you both question how your life led up to this one moment.

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“Too Far” Humour

This humour actually bugs me and I feel as though it can also be called “that one popular kid who sits in the back of the class and try to make everyone laugh but really he is a dick and people are just scared of him/want to impress him” humour but that’s a wee bit too long. What I find hilarious about it though is whenever you grow up and so does everyone else but they are the same idiot they were 4 years ago so now when they make a joke literally nobody gives a shit and just looks at them in disgust and you feel embarrassed for them. There is a group of people in my school like that and I just don’t think they’ve got rid of that god-complex yet and they haven’t accepted the fact that literally, nobody likes them lol. But back to talking about the “too far” humour. This is basically where they make jokes about things that aren’t meant to be joked about. Not like dark humour where it is still innocent and doesn’t hurt anyone, but when they joke about stuff that is literally offensive and disrespectful.

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  • Me – *plays football/breathes*
    idiot man – ShOuLdN’t YoU bE iN tHe KiTcHeN?! ahahahah Go MaKe Me A sAnDwIcH
    (this applies to literally any ‘joke’ like that)
  • Just joking around with your friends and then they go too far and talk about something actually personal to you and is a sensitive topic. Like I have heard guys in the back of our class talking and then they would be like “well at least I know my dad” or sometimes they would be straight up racist. Like maybe that’s a ‘guy thing’ but still that sounds fucked up.

These are the kinda jokes that make other generations think we are snowflakes but literally we are just respectful and more of an understanding person. Like they say it isn’t that deep but it kinda is. Just because it might not have offended anyone in this room, doesn’t mean it isn’t offensive.

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Gas-Lighting Humour

I actually had one of my friends tell me a story the other day about how she was literally gas-lighted by her parents, but like in a funny innocent way, and it really just cracked me up tbh. Obviously, in some cases, it isn’t funny but just whenever someone is so gullible that they fall for shit so easily makes me actually die. I’m quite a gullible bitch myself and I have another friend who is as well and the fact it is so easy to trick them is just priceless. They never learn and you kinda make fun of them after which is the gas-lighting part but ah well lol. Do I feel like a shitty person afterwards? Yup. Do I do it to everyone? Fuck no. Do I use too many rhetorical questions? Hell yeah.

Before I give these examples I just want to say that they may sound like the dumbest shite ever but it was just an “at the moment” type thing so don’t even be judging me.

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  • So the story with my friend and her parents was that she was asking to go to a party and they were like “fine but you will have to take a breathalizer when you get home”. They had like police friends and all that shit so he had easy access. So she was like “fine” and then went to the party. She was proper raging and to be fair she did still drink and was willing to face the consequences when they came. So she got back home and her parents were like “right then, how much did you drink” and she was like “I only had 2 cups” and they were like “ok, bye”. She was proper fuming like what the hell was happening. They just let her go yet she was freaking out about it for ages and trying to figure out how to trick the system or some shit and tgen they just started laughing at her because they couldn’t believe she actually believed it. Like her whole family were pissing themselves because she thought she was actually about to be breathalized. Kinda funny I must admit
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  • This next story is one where I was the person being laughed at and my sister literally brings it up every fucking second of the day even 6 years after it happened. So we had juts got a puppy (a miniature schnauzer to be exact) and we loved that hoe. We were already wanting to get another and my mum who had not even liked dogs that much (what a fucking weirdo) actually loved our dog. So then one day when I was going home from some sort of club type thing, my older sister was really excited and she was like “we got another puppy!” and I was like “actually fuck off do you really expect me to believe that” and she kept going on about the fact it was the truth. That bitch deserved an oscar because I started to believe her. I knew in the back of my head that it was obviously a lie but I wanted it to be true so bad that I believed it. Then we got home and was like I’m catch this hoe red handed. There is definitely no fucking dog in this house. Then she ran outside to our dog’s bit of the garden and then came back with this minature schnauzer in her hands and it was really small so I went up to see it. Tell me why this bitch was holding a fucking statue? I really started to pet a fucking piece of clay. She really did me dirty there.
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Intricate Humour

I can never really get this type of humour down but I find it really funny whenever it fails and works. Intricate humour is when someone makes a joke and it is kind of factual, or it just has so many layers to it. Like your friend might be building it up like a fucking house and then they drop the wrecking ball and, if timed right, it is hilarious. Sometimes you kinda zone out and wake up once they are laughing at their own joke, but if you manage to listen, it is usually actually good. Another type of intricate joke is one that takes you a second to think about, but like not to the point where it is just dumb and you do a pity laugh. I never really have the brains or the effort to do that shit but sometimes it comes easy to you and you can’t miss that opportunity. There might have been something you and your friend heard or witnessed one week and then one or two weeks later you bring that into the joke it just makes it fucking hilarious.

It always makes me do that silent laugh aka my favourite type of laugh. I swear there have been times where I have been silent laughing for so long that I actually got really scared because I physically could not breathe.

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  • There was this one that I remember so vividly from my first year in high school and I was in my geography class. I sat at the back next to this guy and his friend sat in front of me so they would always be talking about the most random shit. I would usually zone out but there was a faze where they just insulsted each other in the weirdest ways. I am pretty sure they actually didn’t like each other lol. Anyways, one of the insults I heard was one of the most stupid and most unfunny thing ever but literally cracks me up. He says “I hope you turn into a fish and swim backwards” and as if that wasn’t bad enough, he goes on to explain why that’s a bad thing. Btw it’s because the water will go into their gills and like kil them or some shit like that. I just remember how I was so disappointed in that joke and everything about it that I found it hilarious.

Tbh I don’t really have any other examples because they are usually more inside jokes and like you had to be in a certain situation to get them and actually find them funny, but if you guys have any examples please do comment them down below.

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Insomniac Humour

We can’t deny that we all have this type of humour. I suppose it kinda fits under all of these other types of humour, but to be more specific it is the jokes you make that flop really bad or you instantly regret and for the rest of your life you will be reminded of it every single time you try to sleep. I suppose it also includes stuff that you just find embarrassing but people still make fun of you for. Some may call that bullying but just don’t be like that lol. That shit stings though and literally catches you so off guard that it really isn’t necessary. It is literally painful and to be fair my whole life is one big insomniac joke. Like I just replay that shit in my head from the day I was birthed to that very moment. Like it really just is not necessary and I know that nobody remembers that it happened but I know that it did and it was not ok.

And just as soon as you either forget about it or convince yourself that nobody even remembers it somebody gotta ruin the mood and bring it up again so you are never able to get over that trauma. But now to bring it up again myself… I’m gonna have to talk to my therapist about this aren’t I?

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  • I hopped that this information would get locked up somewhere for the rest of my life, but since none of you really know who I am I guess I’ll just relate it to, oh I don’t know, THE WHOLE FUCKING INTERNET. So anyways, I used to go to ballet. Yup, I was a little ballet bitch. But that didn’t work out for me andy you will find out why. I was quite young when this happened. Maybe 5 or 6? But me and the rest of the class had just been misbehaving or like wasting too much time so our teacher was getting pissed off. The thing was I desperatily needed the toilet, but seeing her anger and being the anxious little girl I was, I just stayed quiet. I was like nope, not today bitch. So I just held it. That was, of course, until I couldn’t. Yep, you guessed it, I pissed myself in front of my whole entire class and I actually hate myself. And then my teacher was like “why didn’t you just ask to go”. Girl, you know why! Now clean up my piss. My twin still bullies me to this day.
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  • My first year of high school I was ready to be a whole new person. I was ready to be everyones friend and just the best person ever. So any opportunity I found to get out there I would take. Well there was only one time and I never tried again, but you’ll understand why. So I tried to run for the class president (1st downfall) or whatever the fuck it’s called and that meant I had to go up to the front of the class and tell everyone why they should vote for me. I had a whole plan in my head, no script or prep at all, but I had a goal. So I went up to the front of the class thinking I was gonna be the class clown and everyone would want to be my friend. Mind blank. Complete fucking mind blank. But I remembered one thing after blabbering about the dumbest shit ever and it was something that I thought was really good. Then I say it. Deadass it was the dumbest shit that has ever come out of my mouth. I hate myself so much for it and I swear that was the source of my social anxiety. From that moment onwards I would no longer communicate with anyone outside of my small bubble (aka my family). It is obvious to say I didn’t not get class president.
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Inuendo Humour

For those that doesn’t know, inuendo is basically when one thing sounds or means the same thing as another thing, but like somebody intends the play on words for comedic use. I always find this hilarious especially whenever it wasn’t intended and when the person who said it doesn’t even realise that makes it even more hilarious. I have one friend who is either too mature or we are just immature so she tends to say a lot of things that sound like something else. Usually quite inappropriate stuff but it is so funny because it’s just unexpected and you can tell they didn’t mean it to sound like it did. It’s also the look on the persons face whenever they have possessed it in their head and the look of disappointment is just so funny. To be fair I have never really heard of a person whose go to jokes were inuendos unless it’s some sort of creepy old guy wth a beer belly. Sorry if that is your sense of humour but that’s just been my experience. I also feel like if it was intended then it isn’t funny because they just try too hard but that’s honestly true with all jokes kind of

I’m gonna try and give a few examples but at the moment I can only think of inappropriate ones and Im not sure what type of demographic I’m working with here but to be fair if they are still reading y this point it is a wee bit late. I think I’ll just try to find ones that are more of just a pun

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36 Punny Memes Full Of Innuendo in 2021 | Bad jokes, Funny ...
36 Punny Memes Full Of Innuendo | Really funny memes ...
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Dad Jokes

I had to break the rhythm of the titles because I just couldn’t bring myself to call it dad humour. I guess I could have called it desperate humour but I’ll not be rude. Honestly though is there much I can say about this? It’s just a classic bad joke with like the worst timing. To be honest there is never a good time for a dad joke. They just make me laugh so much because it’s clever but also so unnecessary. It’s seeing your dads face afterwards as well because they are so proud of themselves and you feel bad for not laughing so you just laugh disappointedly. I have to admit though that whenever I come up with one myself I am really proud of myself. Like I don’t know why it’s just so rewarding cause it isn’t always easy. It’s really just an at the moment type situation.

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  • Some people have trouble sleeping… but I can do it with my eyes closed
  • Yesterday I was washing the car with my son. He said “dad can’t you just use a sponge?”
  • Did you know Bruce lee has a faster older brother? Sudden Lee
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jennifer Lawerence is what? shocked text message with punctuation on side for shocking blog post featured image

Jennifer Lawerence Is What?

Talk about a merry fucking Christmas because I just found out something that has blown me away. It has been released before Christmas but I am only getting around to talking about this now because I wanted to spread out the happiness across this December. So without further ado, let’s talk about what the fuck… Continue Reading →

Personal comedy blog post feature image for Christmas with vine girl who says merry Chrysler

Merry Chrysler!

Merry Christmas guys! I want to keep this post short and sweet because honestly who the fuck wants to read this on Christmas but if you are then I respect you and you a real one. But anyway lol I know this year has been kinda very shite but it’s nearly over and we made… Continue Reading →

Thank Goodness For Growing Up

I’m no Peter Pan, but I never want to grow up. Well, except for these reasons. Maybe it won’t be so bad after all.

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10 Top Tips To Stay Warm In Winter That Actually Work

If your dad is like mine in any way at all, they refuse to put the heating on, or at least not high enough to actually feel the effects. So I am nowhere to give you some tips for staying warm in your house and don’t forget to share this with the rest of your family just as a wee tip because they will really appreciate it. But let’s just get right into it. Oh and that reminds me, make sure to read the text underneath each tip for more explanation and how to do it for optimum warmth.

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1. Turn On The Heating

Now I know that sounds like a bit of a stretch, but the easiest way for you to stay warm inside in every room of your house is to turn on the heating. Surprisingly enough it isn’t that hard to do so and can work quickly. I know some people may complain about the money but the truth is you would rather be warm and spend a bit more money or be literally dead with more cash that you can’t even use. So definitely this is a great one to think about

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2. Put On a Jumper

Make sure to read this explanation because it is important. What you want to do is look in your wardrobe and pick out a nice thick jumper. This will really help to keep you warm when you go downstairs to turn on the heating. So while that is 2 steps, it is very effective and one of my favourites

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3. Put On Slippers

I highly recommend this for those who have wooden or tiled floors because it is scientifically proven that cold feet will make the rest of you cold. Surprising isn’t it! So it’s important you have something on your feet for going downstairs to turn on the heating to your house

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4. Go Into A Smaller Room

The science behind this is that smaller rooms stay warmer because the heat is less dispersed. That is why I go to my utility room which is the smallest in my house and conveniently also where my heating controls are. So I go into the small room until the heating is on for long enough and then go back to my nice toasty bedroom.

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5. Stay Close To People

So I suppose this isn’t the best during ‘rona and also isn’t great for people who don’t really like… people. But this is great because of body heat and shit. Like penguins do it. So how to start with that is just whenever you have to go do something no, do it with someone else. This could be going to the toilet, going to watch tv, or in this circumstance, going to switch on the heating. So yeah that is a great way to stay warm

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6. Stay Active

I know that a lot of you will see this and be like “umm the fuck? I’m not doing that” and then swipe but it doesn’t actually last that long and you can do it in your house, so depending on how big your house is, this could take somewhere from 1 minute to 3 minutes. So here it is and listens closely because it is quite tricky, go down the stairs (making sure to take deep breathes) which is great for cardio. Then go and click the button to turn on the heating (don’t pull a muscle pls) which is great for muscle strength and then go back up the stairs but slowly so that you can cool down a bit and then by the time you have cooled down from the exercise the heating will keep you at a comfortable temperature

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7. Speak To Others

Communication is key and we need to recognize how it can also help us achieve some stuff that we need. You might be wondering how speaking can help you to warm up, and it is really simple actually. All you have to do is take a deep breath, and at the top of your lungs you shout “can some turn on the heating?!” The only fault is that sometimes parents won’t want to do that so it could mean that you have to resort to some of the options that are above, but if you get the right tone and volume, then this is definitely a good option to go for.

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8. Shower/Bath

This one is actually no joke a good one but the thing is you will be warm during it and then when you get out it will be even worse than before so I guess you just gotta weigh up the pros and cons at that point. And for me, baths are boring as fuck but I like the sound of them so when I have one I basically have to just bring my whole bedroom in with me so I have something to do. It’s also hard to get the right balance between boiling hot and sweating your ass off and being absolutely freezing. So I usually go for the classic shower, not that you give a fuck.

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9. Use Single-Use Plastic

This may be confusing for some but if we keep using plastic the way we have done for a while, our whole entire earth will warm up. I’m pretty sure it’s called global warming or some shit but yeah although it may take a year or so, we could soon have natural heating. It could kill us all but then again at least we would die warm. Every cloud has a silver lining. *pls understand this is a joke because I don’t want David Attenborough and Greta Thunberg running after me*

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10. Listen To Anti-Vaxxers

This may seem hard to be able to achieve but it actually isn’t. There are surprisingly a lot of idio- I mean people who don’t want the vaccine. You can find them in the streets, but other hotspots include the Managers office of your closest restaurant or supermarket. There is also many reported to be near your local town hall and can be recognized by their chants “we want freedom” or something along the lines of that. If they by chance don’t have a sign then just look out for the usual Karen haircut. The reason this will keep you warm is because it will make your blood boil. You will try not to punch them so bad and try to speak with them reasonably but that takes a lot of energy to do. So it will both distract from the pain of the cold, and redirect it to the pain that is society. I would even say that you can speak your mind to them because it can help to create heat by movement. So I guess just take your pic!

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Hilarious anti-vaxxer meme
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Anyways, that is me all done for today and I hope this did really help you guys. Also please don’t destroy the planet that would be greatly appreciated actually. But yeah no stay warm and I hope you have an amazing winter and that Santa treats you well. It’s already bloody stormy where I live so really getting in that winter mood :/ I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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Humans Haven’t Evolved For Shit

Humans haven’t evolved for shit, well not in the way I would like. I would warn all the Ross Gellers, or people who actually understand this topic, to beware because this may cost you a few brain cells, but I do want to add I am not a Karen and I do believe in evolution, this is a joke.

Let’s Discuss It | New Borns

Whenever you grow up and someone says they have a “face only a mother could love”, that person is, one, a bitch, but two, speaking facts because, after the first time she sees her new-born baby, there is no way it can get any worse, so no matter what they look like when they grow… Continue Reading →

the christmas spirit is a curse, christmas, snow, winter, comforting

The Christmas Spirit Is a Curse

Whoever said Christmas is about giving, not receiving is fucking right because bitch do I GIVE! Now I ain’t tryna brag and be like oh my days I’m so unlucky that I have to/can spend money to get stuff for my family, but like I’m just saying that I am acting as though I’ve got… Continue Reading →

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Selfishness is Comforting

I know, I know, this sounds so bloody stupid but I swear that by the end of this post you will completely agree. Selfishness is comforting when you look at it in a particular way. And I’m almost certain that if you are someone who has hit rock bottom and ended up looking at motivational shit then you will have read that people don’t really concentrate on you all that much because we as humans are wired to only care about ourselves or some shit like that.

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So why is that comforting? Why should you like the fact that nobody gives a shit about stuff that doesn’t affect them? Because they don’t give a shit! It is literally in the question. You can do whatever the hell you feel like and people will forget it in a second because they are back to focusing on themselves. Even if they aren’t outwardly selfish, we are wired to think and worry about ourselves and that is what we will do. We always overthink everything we do and wonder how people perceive us but they don’t. They don’t perceive us. They may have things to say and shit like that which I know sucks but overall it isn’t important. The most important thing in everyone’s life is themselves so while they might dwell on stupid, irrelevant shit, they are gonna move on and completely forget.

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I have to admit that sometimes when people say that it can be quite depressing. I mean here is me literally telling you that nobody cares about what you wear or what you do and nobody gives a shit, but like you just gotta train yourself to see that in a good light. You can go out and wear what you want, do what you want, and be yourself because while people may have opinions and maybe they will say some shit behind your back or to your face but you just gotta realise that we as a species are selfish. Eventually, they are gonna forget but if they don’t they will eventually die and it’s hardly gonna be a family story that will be passed down from generation to generation. There isn’t gonna be a whole history topic about how you fell off a chair that one time, or how you had a bad hair day.

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Let’s test something out. What is the most embarrassing thing you have ever seen someone else do? Did you answer it? OK, then what was the most embarrassing thing that you have ever done? If you are like me, you couldn’t think of anything embarrassing someone else did. Maybe it was something random like I think I saw this person trip up the stairs that one time in school, but do you remember who it was? Do you remember what they did after it happened? What do you really remember from that situation? Probably nothing and that is because it doesn’t matter. If we stick with the selfish shit, I can only really remember how I reacted and that’s if I could remember a situation at all. And while I don’t know all the science shit about brains and memories, but I know it’s a fucking smart organ, so I’d guess it wouldn’t store all that pointless crap. It just wants to survive and I don’t think that memory is something you need.

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So next time that you go out, you go out with confidence and purpose because no matter what happens, nobody will make fun of you for it when you are 80. I would say that if they have as bad a memory as me that they wouldn’t even remember it in the morning. I dare you to just be yourself. Wear whatever the hell it is you want to wear. Maybe a funky pair of jeans, a top that makes you feel sexy, fucking socks and sandals! You do you bitch! Everyone is too selfish to care and that is one of the best things in the world. And if anyone seems like they are bothered by it for more than one second then they are jealous. They just want to be you because as I said, we don’t remember things that don’t affect us, so they obviously just want to become you!

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Do you understand what I mean now? Selfishness is probably one of the greatest things we can remember when we feel scared to do something or embarrassed to dress a certain way. You can do what you want and people won’t even care or remember. If they didn’t remember you it’s probably because you inspired them to try out new fashion items or to be loud and proud. So you start the movement bitch! Go do whatever the hell you feel like and never apologize. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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2 COVID Tests and a Christmas in Quarantine

12 days ’til Christmas and my true love gave to me, a big fucking mess. I mean what the actual hell. Here I am with a bit of a sore head and a stuffy nose and then I take a wee lateral flow test before I go out to Ju-Jitsu but then the 2nd line… Continue Reading →

I Needed More Time In The Oven

Before you start calling child protection services, let me just clear something up. No, I am not the gingerbread man and no I am not in some weird family where instead of a naughty step I get the literal oven. What I’m referring to is the lack of basic features that I kinda feel were… Continue Reading →

After 7 Years I’m Not Sure My Pet Is A Dog

I know what you are thinking, “what the fuck does your dog look like”. But it isn’t because of that. She is literally the cutest thing you will ever see, well… apart from at the moment because she just got a haircut that made her hella ugly, but it’s fine it’ll grow back. The thing… Continue Reading →

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10 Crazy Facts About Women That You Wouldn’t Believe

Hey guys, today I just wanted to talk about something very random and for no particular reason because why not. I was just on a walk one day and I was kinda just thinking about how fucking mental life is as a woman. I’m pretty sure I was actually getting a bit scared because I thought this man was about to literally kidnap me but, surprise surprise, he didn’t. I guess that is a bit fitting for the story because that is something we gotta put up with at points. Anyways, let’s get into some facts about women that are kinda obvious but like I feel we just need to do a wee recap sesh for all the people out there who are very much… ignorant. I will also be exposing us a wee bit but deal with it.

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1. Evolved To Forget

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This was one that I only realised not that long ago and basically our bodies have evolved to forget the pain of giving birth because it is so traumatic to us. Excuse me? What the actual fuck. Obviously, we have some stuff to help with that pain now but what about the people that give birth in their literal car and don’t have time to get to the hospital or some shit? What about the women who literally don’t have access to healthcare and just have to hope for the best?! I actually read that every 90 seconds a woman dies from giving birth or pregnancy complications. Like what the hell? I mean yeah having kids would be great and stuff but oh my days I didn’t realise it would be that bad. I just know that when I am like 7 or 8 months pregnant that I will be having nightmares of going into labour. I suppose there is always a c-section but that’s only for emergencies so you gonna have to get that baby out at some point and I’m not for it.

2. Growing a Fucking Human

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I think we can all grasp the concept of what it means to be pregnant. Like we grow a baby and then boom it’s suddenly out of you as this slimy crying thing. But I don’t think you really UNDERSTAND it. We grow a complex living thing inside of us that just lies there for 9 months rent-free. When you look at a pregnant woman there is quite literally a human inside her. It just boggles my mind to think about that because the pregnancy belly just makes you think “aww pregnant” and then they give birth and you’re like “aww a baby” but that thing was quite literally just inside her. That full human being was just inside her. It was on that kangaroo shit just sitting there. It didn’t just magically transform shape as it was birthed but that baby was just squished up in there from a literal egg to a full ass baby. It’s just crazy and kinda scary to think of

3. The Reason We Wear Makeup

This one may actually be really shocking for some people and it’s the first time I’m gonna expose us or just people who wear makeup. But the real reason we do our makeup and spend all our goddamn money is because… we just fucking want to! Oh my days! What a shock. It isn’t actually for other people. That’s crazy mental. Bet some of you were convinced we do all that shit for you! No. We just like it and it makes us feel good and that’s it

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4. We Have Our Own Opinions

I really hope some of the people my age and in my school get to read this because I don’t think they have ever been taught that before. So we actually do have thoughts and can come up with ideas and opinions by ourselves. We can actually retain information, yes even the blonde ones, so like don’t tell us what to think or say because I can promise you they know what they want to say, they just aren’t being listened to or been given the chance to do so. I’ve actually faced that problem lately in school where we have to build a business and every time I bring something up or give new ideas or opinions, they are always not convinced by what I say or just go like “yeah…” and then don’t talk about it again. Or they’ll be like “but don’t you think…” or “wouldn’t you agree that…”. Hmmm, maybe let me talk for myself for one second. Thank you

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5. What We Do At Sleepovers

I actually find it so funny what people think girls do at sleepovers. Like it actually shocks me how they think it’s all pillow fights and giggling about what guy we like. Don’t get me wrong we do love a good gossip but like that isn’t it. We have the deepest conversations late at night. We eat, we watch random movies, we cry, we do whatever the hell we want. One thing that I have never done at a sleepover though is a pillow fight. In fact, the only reason anyone would be hit by a pillow is if they were doing my head in and you just gotta make them shut up somehow. That makes me sound like a bitch but we all just find it funny.

6. Why We Go To The Bathroom Together

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I’ve actually heard a lot of answers from different people and some say that they go together to gossip about who they are with or to fix their makeup and while that is true for many and I have done that in the bathrooms, but honestly, the reason I gather a big group is that I just don’t want to be bored and it is also just so awkward having to walk around to find the bathroom. Like I suppose some of the things I said above do happen but I wouldn’t go just for that. It’s just to make the experience more fun, less lonely and a lot less awkward. So yeah that’s your answer I guess.

7. We Don’t Complain as Much as We Could

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I already KNOW that there are gonna be people racing to the comments and saying “how is that possible lol I swear my girl always be mad at me!” or “we know that ’cause you always be saying your fine and shit when you really aren’t” but I swear to god if anyone says that I’m gonna flip. We can be straight up with people if we know them and trust them, and you can take that as a compliment, but there are things in everyday life that we just keep quiet because it would take up way too much energy. One thing I think that needs to be mentioned is the dumb things that guys say all the time that just isn’t true. For example, and this one might be triggering, “must be her time of the month” :I What the fuck? Like sorry, we are just pissed and actually show emotion I guess. We also don’t literally collapse whenever we get hurt even the tiniest bit. We also just get on with work that needs to be done even if we had a long day because you just gotta deal with it. We do realise that there are inequalities at home and around the world but we don’t say that every bloody day because it would take up a lot of the time that we don’t really have. So next time you say we complain too much, just know it’s probably just because our “glass of tolerance” is overflowing at the moment.

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8. Wonder Woman

This one is genuinely a good fact. It’s sad but also interesting. The movie Wonder Woman (2017) was the first superhero movie with a female lead that was directed by a woman. Can someone tell me why it took so long for that to happen?

9. We Used To Wear What?!

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I just learned about this today and it makes me feel sick to my stomach just thinking about it. So, before pads and all that shit was invented, women used to have to use softened papyrus, lint wrapped around wood, and paper during our period. Pads are even uncomfortable at the moment, never mind having to wear a fucking log like they did. Who thought that was a good idea? I would just bleed through and deal with it because that sounds like literal torture

10. Women’s Brains Are Just Built Different

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Let me list off some facts real quick. Men’s brains are 9% larger than women’s, yet we still have the same number of brain cells. We mature so much quicker than men, 2 years quicker to be exact. And that is why I won’t date anyone younger than me because even the one’s my age are still complete idiots, and I knew that before I learned this fact. Oh, and one last fact to leave you with. The top 2 highest IQ’s ever recorded were by 2 women *Mic drop*

Lol, I hope that post really wasn’t too feminist of me because II don’t want to feel like I’m properly destroying the men, but I think it’s good to appreciate so of the things women have to go through and deal with every day. But I’m sure some of you found this somewhat informative and enjoyed discovering what our lives are like and don’t forget to like, comment and follow for more. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Shocking Event That United The UK More Than Ever

Now I’m not someone who gets political, not even when it comes to Brexit taking our magic stars, but this phenomenon has to be mentioned. It is absolutely mental how this one thing has united the countries within the UK more than anything else. I feel we have actually joined as a team to create… Continue Reading →

which sense of humour do you have

Which Sense of Humour Do You Have?

I think that to start this post we need to figure out what the word “humour” really means. I’m no Oxford dictionary but in my opinion, it is the things we find funny and that we enjoy making/hearing jokes about. Nothing fancy just a basic bitch definition. I guess now that is out of the… Continue Reading →

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Are We Born Hypocrites?

This is quite literally an actual question because lately, I have been talking to a lot of people who go back on themselves and completely make themselves look like an idiot. Don’t get me wrong I have my moments where I’ve been unfair by telling people they can’t do something and then I go do it myself but that is why I come to you with this question. Are we born hypocrites?

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Think about it. Everybody seems to be one and if you say you aren’t then you are either lying or a robot. Our parents did, and still do, it all the time with things like “I don’t care if you don’t like the food, just eat it” but then they will never go near or even look at the food they don’t like. Another example is adults in general who say you must “stand up for yourself and not let anyone get you down” but as soon as you speak your mind and go against what someone says they go absolutely mental saying it’s disrespectful even though they are also arguing with you and now we must go to our room. This leads to the next point where they want us to get out of our room. So it goes from “go to your room!” to “get out of your room and have a life” and then to “stop spending so much time with your friends” and then you tell them how they aren’t being reasonable and the cycle starts again.

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But to be fair, I don’t think we can blame them. Our views change and so do our actions. For example, at the moment there are things that I would say I am never going to do to my kids like hit or scream at them. I also don’t want them to have no imagination by going on their tablet all the time. But will that be the case in the future? So here is me acting like the worlds best parent coach and being like “you shouldn’t do that” or “you need to be nicer and then they’ll listen” but I assume kids can get bloody frustrating and exhausting so the only thing you can do is give them their iPad or something. To be fair I will never hit my kid but like you get what I’m saying.

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You could have a strong argument that we are born hypocrites because it helps to keep us safe. It is an instinct that we have gotten built into us in the past thousands of years. We see it as a way to protect others and while we may not recognise it as hypocrisy, it is. And it bloody sucks when people don’t recognise this because then it happens more often and can lead to a manipulative person It can grow to many things so while hypocrisy may not be a bad thing, it is bloody dangerous and we need to recognise it.

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I wouldn’t say we are born hypocrites, but we are taught it from a very young age. Even from the little stuff like “don’t touch that” and then we immediately touch it or “don’t interrupt me” and then we lately completely interrupt them because we think we are allowed to. It’s just part of human life and isn’t really something you can avoid. You can try but it won’t work out because someday you might not look both ways when crossing the road or “just relax” whenever something bugs us.

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Overall, hypocrites annoy the living daylight out of me. Obviously, I don’t mean everyone in the whole world, but the people who are so clearly doing it but don’t understand it themselves. It’s people like the politics who are raving every day about staying inside and staying in a bubble but then flying off to a holiday home on the other side of the world. And it’s when you have a disagreement with a parent and they get annoyed at you only because they aren’t used to having their own child, who they raised to be confident and opinionated, come and challenge their opinions. It’s also when you walk near your sister’s room or tell her something important and she literally screams your ear off and actually makes you fear for your life, but then they kick your door open and rummage around your stuff as though they own the place and when you ask them to leave they just laugh and continue messing around.

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Sure it can just be messing around and harmless, but sometimes I get scared that someone I love will get so accustomed to it that they don’t even understand that what people are doing to them is wrong. Like in a relationship they may have a manipulative partner and they don’t find out it’s toxic before it’s too late. They don’t understand that you are allowed to give your opinion and argue about what you think is right or wrong. And we should be able to do that without being told off afterwards. If we keep getting mixed signals we won’t know what’s right or wrong so we just choose to do nothing. Just stay quiet and hope for the best because at least then any bad reactions won’t be your fault. And that my friends are how low self-esteem and lack of confidence can grow.

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I know that sounded deep as fuck, but I think what I really wanted to get across is that it is human nature to be hypocritical, which doesn’t excuse some people’s behaviours, but shows that you can’t please everyone. You sometimes have to go with your gut and what you know is right because people’s opinions and actions can change fucking quickly and you should speak up if you feel someone is disrespectful or incorrect. You should shout, swear and put the middle finger up to the creepy old man that catcalls you when he drives past, and you fucking better be whoever and wear whatever, you want because you are unique and worth it. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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christmas controversy

The Century-Long Christmas Controversy

Merry Christmas to everyone!… except those who say happy Christmas. You can go to hell. I don’t really know what it is that possesses people to say “happy” Christmas but I don’t want it. Like it makes me shrivel up and die inside. I can actually hear the elves and Santa cry from the north… Continue Reading →

These Brands Are Getting Way Out Of Hand

Up until last month, I used to think that Corona was the worst thing that happened to us but fuck me this is 10 times worse. I mean I know the pandemic was tough but this has ruined my whole entire life and all of my memories. It makes me physically ill to talk about… Continue Reading →

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Disney’s Deep Message Behind ‘The Little Mermaid’

I think we all gotta learn from Arial’s mistakes. No, not ‘don’t brush your hair with a fork’ but something else a lot deeper (pun not intended) that all the ladies out there gotta hear about. Btw this is in no way me tryna be a Karen and ‘cancel’ Disney, it’s just a good example lol.

So for all you people who haven’t watched the little mermaid (aka those who live in darkness) or those who haven’t watched it in a while, let me give you a quick wee rundown of what happens. So basically, this ‘main character’ talking fish human loves old shit, but then her dad explodes it, so being the dramatic bitch she is she swims away and finds a dying man in the sea. She fancies said man and literally brings him to shore and stares at him for a while and then is like ‘shit I’m a fish’ scuttles back into the sea. Oh, and meanwhile a Jamaican crab is following her, obviously. But then Arial gets all lovey-dovey for this guy she only looked at and begins to hate life in the sea despite the fact that is cool as fuck. But anyways, these eels are like ‘we got you bitch’ and sweep her away to this octopus bitch. She literally lives in a cave with all these crusty dead people’s soles and octo-bitch basically is like ‘I’ll give you feet’ and Arial is all biz and can’t wait but then octo-bitch is like ‘and I’ll take your voice’ so then Arial is like ‘oh shit but ok’. So she grows her feet and literally dies in the sea but then her fish friend swims her up onto the beach and she has to get a kiss from her manz to get her voice back. That is basically all that is important for this post. So hopefully that caught you up and we can get started.

10 Famous Quotes from Great Women in History | Lady gaga ...
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So what was Arial’s big mess up? Let’s shout it for the people in the back! SHE SILENCED HERSELF FOR A MAN! Never will I ever condone such behaviour from a living person. I mean there is true love and there is idiocracy, and it’s a fine line but this bitch is so far from the line that she is in the dictionary under the word dumb. Like, obviously in terms of the movie I made it way too deep and it really does just add a twist, but what I am trying to say is that no queen should have to lose her voice for any prince no matter what. And I’ll say that ’til the day I die.

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It is literally the 21st-century bitch. We educated, we grown, we got rights. So don’t let nobody take that from you. Like you really can’t give that up for a second because imagine one of the suffragettes was watching and saw you literally lose your voice just so you could get a man. Like that is pretty much the opposite of what they wanted and bitch they got what they want, so it’s about time we showed our gratitude and spoke our truth. I’m not gonna lie, I had stayed quiet for a guy before and I realise that isn’t good, but when you are in that situation you are willing to do anything to stay with them, even if that means taking away your opinion and thoughts. Like it is so shite to hear that people have to make themselves quiet and weak just for a man to like her even remotely.

Strong Women Quotes That Will Empower Every Woman
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Arial literally could have lost everything just so she got find this man who she knew nothing about and that is similar, in some ways, to how girls act nowadays trying to get a guy. We should never have to lose our voice or sell our soul to the devil for nobody. I don’t care if it is fucking Brad Pitt or Tom Holland or whoever the fuck you like, you better speak up because if they don’t like that then that’s their problem and you shouldn’t change yourself. Let them come and go because someday some person will come and stay to hear what you have to say. They may even stand up with you to help amplify your opinions so now you are twice as loud. Even if they leave you and you lose everything, you still have your morals and your voice and that will get you further than anything else in this world

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Thankfully large octopus people can’t really come chasing after you with a shell demanding your voice, but something similar is men and society in general. So you run girl. You run as fast as those legs can handle and you shout from the top of your lungs because you are just as entitled to an opinion as anyone else. You preach what you think and you show them was a boss bitch you are. Never change for anyone but yourself. Show younger girls from across the world that their voice is a superpower that we all have but we may not fully realise.

So get up on a stage, put your hand up in class, continue speaking when you’re interrupted in class and do whatever it is you need to do to get heard. But whatever you do, you must never ever apologize. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Selfishness is Comforting

I know, I know, this sounds so bloody stupid but I swear that by the end of this post you will completely agree. Selfishness is comforting when you look at it in a particular way. And I’m almost certain that if you are someone who has hit rock bottom and ended up looking at motivational… Continue Reading →

A Hole I’ve Dug Way Too Deep

You know those situations that keep you up at night? Not the stuff that happened in the past, but the holes you have dug yourself that make your life a living hell. The moments that you wish you could wake up from. Yeah well, I am in one again and I’m terrified. I feel like… Continue Reading →

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What Comes After 21?

If you are like me, an overthinker, you will most likely understand this question immediately. And no, the answer is a little more complicated than 22. I swear if I get a comment like that I will literally erase my existence. Anyways, for those who don’t really get what I mean, let me tell you.

What comes after 21? A question I have always asked myself since I started my anxious life. I mean for every birthday until then there has been significant. There is the actual day of your birth, which is big for obvious reasons, you’ve got 10 when you finally go into the double digits, 13 you are a teen, 17 you can learn to drive, 18 you can legally drink (in the UK), 20 you are no longer a teen, and while 21 is bigger in the USA because they can legally drink now, it is still counted as a milestone birthday around the world. But then what? Not to be morbid or anything but the next big day is your… death day. Yes, you have the 30s, 40s, 50s and so on, but that’s basically just a “well done for still breathing”. Nothing big changes in your life. It isn’t life some things become open to you that may not have been before. Except for a nursing home, or an over 50’s workout class. I mean that isn’t even a joke.

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At the moment the only things I have to look forward to are the ‘level ups’ in life because when I turn 17 I can drive, when I turn 18 I can sign up for the police and legally drink, but then what? What will I look forward to doing? What will I look out the window in awe and dream of the time when I can do the same. I mean I’m sorry but I’m not looking forward to free bus cards (well, maybe a little). Life as an adult already seemed so depressing to me but now that you don’t really have any set goals, what do you have? I suppose you can always make goals of your own, but if you are unmotivated like me, it can be hard to stick to those and actually make goals that are reachable. I would only be setting myself up for failure.

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I suppose it isn’t the birthday milestones that are gonna be the tragedy of life as an adult. Like I don’t find the fact that we won’t be squirming in bed on the night before our birthday to be depressing. It’s just that having something to look forward to learning and doing is kind of the only thing that gets me up in life. Even if that thing will inevitably be disappointing, it was fun to dream of it before then. For example, I always couldn’t wait to go to high school because we would learn so much more interesting and relevant stuff and I could revise which would mean I would have less time being bored (I don’t know where I got that logic from but I actually did think that) and then I got to high school and ended up having the worst experience of my life which led to being looking forward to leaving it.

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Another thing I couldn’t wait for was getting a job. To earn my own money, do an interview, meet new people, have exciting experiences, to be independent. And as most things go, I ended up hating it. After the first week that amazement fizzled out and I realised that the general public is pieces of stuck up shit (I was a waitress) and the people I worked with (only a select few I suppose) were assholes who made my life hell. Make sure to check out my other post which talks more about that horror of waitressing here and here. But anyway, that was another thing that I dreamed of doing, and when it came the magic was gone. I always guessed it would happen but that didn’t make the thought of it less magical.

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It’s things like that I am scared to finish. Having so many firsts, being excited to start new things, reaching milestones you thought of as a kid. I suppose there is marriage and kids if that is what you want but after that what is there? Retirement? I really don’t want to end up looking forward to that because I want a job I love and enjoy waking up to every day. But if I don’t look forward to retirement then what can I dream about? Yes, I know this is a depressing fucking topic and I feel like a bunch of adults are gonna read this like “I don’t even have a fucking clue” and spin-off into an existential crisis, but it is just a genuine question. Like just because I can’t see anything important, doesn’t mean that there isn’t because I could be wrong. Maybe having a clean slate for your future and being able to do anything LEGAL that you want is freeing. I don’t know? But at the moment I am 16 and I don’t have many milestones left and that terrifies me. A lot of things scare me to be fair but this one is harder to disprove.

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So am I wrong? Adults, please do tell me that I am. Are birthdays just not important and now it is just what happens in between? I really do hope I am wrong and I guess age is just a number but also a fucking important number as well. I think I might make another post on that because yes age is a number, but it isn’t JUST a number is it? Oh well, comment down below if you would like a post about that because I actually just came u with a few good ideas for that. Follow so that you get notified when I post about that in the near future and like if you enjoyed this page of existentialism. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Are We Born Hypocrites?

This is quite literally an actual question because lately, I have been talking to a lot of people who go back on themselves and completely make themselves look like an idiot. Don’t get me wrong I have my moments where I’ve been unfair by telling people they can’t do something and then I go do… Continue Reading →

Let’s Discuss It | Parenting

It’s a bit ironic to have a literal kid (who has no kids) talking about parenting, but like I was just on a walk and it was kind of an existential kind of day and I was just thinking about how fucked up that shit is and how scary that must bloody be. Like it… Continue Reading →

I Have No Concept of Time At All

This is no joke guys. I have run into many awkward encounters because I have lost all concept of time. You know, I would have thought this was normal if we were in the middle of our first lockdown, but that ship sailed ages ago and I am back to a strict schedule and yet… Continue Reading →

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Do You Know What’s Weird? We Control Everything

In this post, I was originally going to talk about how the hour change is such a weird thing but then when I was thinking about what to talk about I just got into a spiral of how us humans basically run and control the world. Not as in like there is a control panel to change the direction the earth turns or some shit but as in we literally control everything in it. Like it is so fucking weird if you think about it and that is what we are going to do today. Also, I’m not gonna get into politics shit or anything like that because I know people are gonna be like “you’re right we need our freedom” and all that shit but I am just genuinely interested and amazed by this realisation of mine.

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A planet doesn’t come with a user manual. Like there isn’t a massive book of earth management that we look at to see how to settle arguments or have a fucking safe society. We had to just figure that out. Like we had to create a solid foundation and create fucking rules and schedules for shit. Time didn’t exist in a sense. It was a thing I suppose, but only when we came up with seconds, minutes, hours and all that crap. Like that was something made up. They just needed structure and control so we were like fuck it and just created a clock. It isn’t something that came with earth.

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And we just change that shit up twice a year. I am not really sure what countries do this, but we do in the UK, where we turn back the clock an hour or forward an hour depending on the time of year. Literally no joke. And it is literally because of fucking farmers. Like it makes sense because they want more light in the morning but who knew they could hold so much power. I can just imagine a bunch of culchies coming down with their cows and being like “you need to change the time for this whole country so that I can work in the light” and the bloody “time worker” person just looking at them like what the fuck why don’t you just wake up later or just work your timetable around the darkness and then them just being there like “Nah but like I still want the times to be the same you know. I don’t want to wake up or go to bed 1 hour earlier or later each year”. What the fuck do you think you are gonna miss? A cuppa tea. Like we literally change the time like it is nothing. The whole concept of time is just chucked out the window.

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I think a good way to describe what I am thinking about is almost as if the earth is just a big fucking TV show. Like I could imagine it as either the show that has 10 teens/kids living in a house by themselves for a week or like some sort of reality TV show that goes to shit. We just have no clue how to function or keep any form of control and we are just trying to figure out what the hell is going on. They are dividing into groups, starting fights, destroying everything and getting pissed when they can’t fix it again. We are just a bunch of people given free rein to do anything. There are no goals, rules or anything and we are just trying to figure out our next move.

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It’s so weird to think of it like that though and I could so easily go into thinking “what is the point of humans” and that can get messy real quick, but it also amazes me because we just choose to ignore that fact. We are tiny spots of matter floating in nothingness with no real aim and we can really just control whatever the fuck we do next because there isn’t any expectation or form of monitoring. We, as a whole, can make the world be whatever the hell we want it to be. What about we all live in bloody treehouses and have literal tigers as pets? What if we create a time of day where everyone is legally allowed a nap hour? We can do that shit. It isn’t like some overlord is gonna open up the sky and be like “that’s against the rule 14358”. Literally, everything created in this world, whether it is a social construct, concept or physical item has just been made up to create some sort of order and reason for existence.

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We have literally done dot to dot in the night sky and then named that shit. People really thought they were doing something when they were like “that looks like a fucking lion”. I mean where they off their heads or something because that looks like literally nothing at all. I mean clouds I guess but stars?! That’s pushing it a bit. We could have no homelessness or hunger in the world but they are like “it is so expensive” but like that isn’t a real excuse because we made money. We don’t NEED it in a sense. Like why can’t we just do it? Build more houses, improve the environment and teach people how to farm and stuff. Why can’t we agree as a planet that this is important and we can all join in together to do it? It isn’t that hard. And I know we need to pay for labour and shit but I am sure we could work something out. Like if you help us build these houses then we will give you one for free or something like that.

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I suppose it got a bit controversial at the end but I just wanted to get across the idea that the world doesn’t have rules and we have just created it because we think it helps. Not everything is a solid fact or necessity but we have just been taught to accept it. But we are just humans flying through nothingness and it really just isn’t that deep. I hope you found that interesting and that you like, follow and comment on what you think about this topic. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Disney’s Deep Message Behind ‘The Little Mermaid’

I think we all gotta learn from Arial’s mistakes. No, not ‘don’t brush your hair with a fork’ but something else a lot deeper (pun not intended) that all the ladies out there gotta hear about. Btw this is in no way me tryna be a Karen and ‘cancel’ Disney, it’s just a good example… Continue Reading →

What Comes After 21?

If you are like me, an overthinker, you will most likely understand this question immediately. And no, the answer is a little more complicated than 22. I swear if I get a comment like that I will literally erase my existence. Anyways, for those who don’t really get what I mean, let me tell you…. Continue Reading →

Emotion Comes In Shades

What do I mean when I say “Emotion comes in shades”? No, I don’t associate colours with certain feelings, what I mean is that emotions aren’t so black and white. There are layers, different forms of emotions. It’s more deep than just sad, happy or confused. And I think that is what people find difficult… Continue Reading →

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The Butterfly Effect

What is the butterfly effect? It is the theory that even a tiny event, like a butterfly flapping its wings, can have a large impact in the future, like a hurricane. A lot of people also call it “the domino effect” because, as you know, when you hit one domino down, it hits them all down after it.

But why am I talking about this today? It is a bit random, isn’t it? Like, it has been talked about so much when people are trying to be motivating or shit. They’ll be like “a smile can make someones day” and all that shit, but in this post, I just want to quickly dive into my brain about what I think about the butterfly effect and tell you something I only just started to realise and think about in terms of the butterfly effect. It will get pretty wild so I suppose this is a warning for an existential crisis. So take that information as you will and either keep reading or maybe go check out one of my other posts.

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When I think about the butterfly effect, I always think of it in some motivational way at first. Like it makes me feel like I make a difference but then that can lead to a lot of overthinking about how it can make the world worse and shit so I guess it isn’t that motivational lol. But when I think about it, I prefer focusing on how fucking complex and amazing it is. I have to admit I do believe in it. I don’t see it as much of a theory as I do a fact and to be honest, I am not sure if this is a theory but either way I think it is true. I mean it doesn’t mean that I do things intentionally like blinking and standing back like “damn, I just stopped global warming” because that’s just a fucking lie, but I kinda think that some stuff was meant to be and like if even some small events were different then this world would be completely different.

Butterfly of Doom - TV Tropes
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I don’t know if you have seen that one Simpsons episode where Homer makes a time machine with a toaster and he goes to a time where there are dinosaurs and weird shit and then he kills a bug or something and then when he thinks he went back to his normal home, the world was completely different and people had fucking lizard tongues and doughnuts fell from the sky. Obviously, that last one might be a bit far fetched but I guess I believe the whole concept that one minor change could make the future completely different. And I suppose if we use the killing the bug idea that it throws the food chain off a bit. Like maybe one bird was gonna eat it but then obviously couldn’t so may die or have to go somewhere else and then maybe something happens at the new place that wouldn’t have happened if the bird stayed at the old place. That would take a long time to make a big difference I suppose but let’s talk about more relevant things. And by the way, this is where it is gonna get deeper!

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The event that I have been thinking about that was a great example of the butterfly effect is when gravity was discovered or learned about when an apple fell on Newton’s head. Like what are the fucking chances of that. The apple would have to fall at a specific time in the exactly right place. Newton was the perfect person to get hit with and he chose to sit in the exact right spot. I mean gravity would have been “discovered” at some point but the fact it happened when it did probably changed everything we knew and know today and advanced so many things. Like if it was only discovered a few years ago, what would the world be like, what would we be taught in school? Would a lot of things be designed or explained differently? The event that shaped the world of since was a bloody coincidence. It would have to be perfect timing in every sense of the word, from the time the tree was planted to the time that Newton woke up that day.

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It is crazy how things like that happen. It kinda makes you think it was meant to be but again it is all just the butterfly effect. There wasn’t someone who had planned this to happen all along but there was one event that caused all that. There was a random ass tree that people walked past every day never knowing that it would change science, and there was a mistake made in a lab that created penicillin which has saved so many fucking lives. Probably saved the lives of so many influential people who, if penicillin didn’t exist, would be dead and wouldn’t have impacted the world like they did. Like Abraham Lincon, helping free the slaves, or the wright brothers creating the first successful plane, and even David Attenborough who has helped spread awareness about the planet and how everything works. Like it is so mental when you actually think about it.

Lady Gaga Can't Remember When She Last Bathed | InStyle.com
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There are probably things in your life that you may not think about but have actually completely changed the person that you are. Maybe one negative thing someone said to you spiralled into some low self-esteem but made you stronger and more confident later on because you grew from that and were able to figure things out that may have been ignored or missed if you hadn’t gone through what you did. Like Lady Gaga who got bullied in school. Obviously, that type of stuff isn’t good, but who would she be today if she didn’t go through that? Would she still be the confident, uplifting, fantastically talented person that she is today? I don’t know but I would guess not. Was it that type of stuff that broke her down and allowed her to build herself into the amazingly empathetic, down-to-earth amazing person ever? Yep. Everything that happens will make you into the person that you are to become and although it may not be good now, you may become someone’s idol or reason for life.

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That got kinda deep and motivational and I was kinda aiming for more of a shock factor kind of existential crisis shit but that’ll do I guess. Don’t forget to like, follow and comment on what you think about the butterfly effect. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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The Most Frustrating Thing Is Frustration

Being frustrated is a vicious cycle because frustration pretty much feeds off frustration. Like when you wake up and you are annoyed by the way the bed covers feel, you get frustrated cause you just like “fuck” and you know it’s gonna be a bad day. And there literally isn’t any way to control it… Continue Reading →

Do You Know What’s Weird? We Control Everything

In this post, I was originally going to talk about how the hour change is such a weird thing but then when I was thinking about what to talk about I just got into a spiral of how us humans basically run and control the world. Not as in like there is a control panel… Continue Reading →

Your Parents Were 99.9% Right

I know this isn’t something you like to hear but it is true, your parents were 99.9% right. Not about everything, definitely not, but they were about this one thing that they told you when you were literally a foetus sized human being. And what is that? Well, do you remember when they would say… Continue Reading →

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Your Parents Were 99.9% Right

I know this isn’t something you like to hear but it is true, your parents were 99.9% right. Not about everything, definitely not, but they were about this one thing that they told you when you were literally a foetus sized human being. And what is that? Well, do you remember when they would say “you can be whatever you want when you grow up”? That is what they are 99.9% right about. You can literally be whatever the fuck you want in this world and I can prove it to you. I didn’t intend this post to be so motivating but if it helps you in any way then I am happy.

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Why are they so right when they say we can be whatever we want to be when we are older? Did they secretly become psychic or just got lucky? Well, I can’t speak for all families I guess, but in my family, they were making an educated guess. Obviously, they couldn’t predict what I would be but they knew that if I tried hard enough then, with their support, I could be anything. But the motivation and family aspects aren’t really what I am here to talk about today. Not all families have a great support system and are willing and able to give their kids the life they deserve. I’m talking literally and I’m talking facts bitch.

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You can quite literally be whatever the fuck you wanna be. You can become famous for literally anything. Don’t believe me? You can join all the bloody “great British…” shit and earn a living if you win or just take part in any way. I’m sure there are equivalents depending on where you live but if we use this one alone the possibilities are endless. There is the Great British Bake Off, the Great British Sewing Bee, the Great British Gardening Show (I don’t know the exact name of that one but you get my point). All 3 of the shows I just listed are so fucking random and different from each other and there are probably other shows for everything in between. Cooking, surviving on a desert island, being sexy beside a pool, watching TV. All of the things that I just listed actually make people rich and famous. Maybe that isn’t the goal you intended but you can still make a bloody living from that shit.

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Maybe being on TV isn’t your thing. Maybe becoming famous isn’t your goal. That doesn’t even matter because we as humans are so bloody lazy and we are willing to pay others to do the things we can’t be arsed to do or learn how to do. You can wash people’s windows, wait in a line for them, be a bodyguard, deliver people’s food or drive them places. I mean that is only like 0.00001% of things out there that you can do and when you really think about what the aim of each job is, it sounds bloody ridiculous. Let’s say a photographer. Obviously, this job, and many other’s, require a lot of skill and practice, but essentially it is just taking photos of you which you could probably do yourself with a little time and money. Like you literally pay people to do something that you would do every day. Now I know that seems like I am discrediting the work that photographers put in but I didn’t really know how to put it. It’s just to show you how something as simple as taking photos can literally make you a living and give you the ability to meet great people and visit amazing places. As long as you put in the hard work and become great at what you love, you can make that your whole career.

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Do you like drawing? Career. Do you like tennis? Career. Do you like walking? Career. Do you like arguing? You guessed it, career. As long as you fucking believe in yourself and are willing to become the best at what you do, no matter how long that may take, then you can make that your career and you can live off what you love the most. Don’t listen to what other people have to say because they just haven’t figured it out yet. People will pay for any shit, whether it is you doing something for them, you teaching them how to do it, or just watching you do what you do best. So stop feeling fucking embarrassed or set on a bloody 9-5 job and get to work.

But what is the last 0.1%? Why aren’t our parents 100% right? Well, because you can’t become the fucking Hulk.

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Now that I have completely ruined the vibes, it is time for me to sign off. Oh and I am sticking to my promise of posting more, but I was just in Edinburgh for a few days for the lols. But yeah that was irrelevant. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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The Butterfly Effect

What is the butterfly effect? It is the theory that even a tiny event, like a butterfly flapping its wings, can have a large impact in the future, like a hurricane. A lot of people also call it “the domino effect” because, as you know, when you hit one domino down, it hits them all… Continue Reading →

The Method Guaranteed To Make a Lifelong Friend

I’m not someone who is overly confident, or confident in any sense of the word to be honest, but I have found that there is something that people say when I first talk to them that instantly makes me want to get to know them and be best friends. I have also only really recognised… Continue Reading →

Growing up: Expectations vs. Reality

I know that title makes me sound like I’m fucking ancient or some shit but like I am only 16. To be fair though this is me nearly becoming an adult and like is one of the biggest changes in life so I suppose I can talk about growing up. The difference between me now… Continue Reading →

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The Method Guaranteed To Make a Lifelong Friend

I’m not someone who is overly confident, or confident in any sense of the word to be honest, but I have found that there is something that people say when I first talk to them that instantly makes me want to get to know them and be best friends. I have also only really recognised this lately because a few people have done this now and I instantly respect and like that person. But yeah I suppose I’ll spill the answer for all of those unconfident people who like to socialise but hate small talk with a passion.

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So what is it? Well, I can guarantee you that will make a lifelong friend if you ask them something like “what do you want to be/do when you are older” or just any deep fucking question. Like one time I was working and it was quite quiet so I was just folding napkins and then one of the girls who works there was just like “isn’t it weird how in life we just wait for everything to be finished” and I just didn’t really know what to say because I thought she was reading my mind or some shit. And it was so out of pocket! Like so far out of pocket that it isn’t even visible. I mean where is the pocket? I don’t know but I am fully out of that bitch! Don’t get me wrong, I loved the energy but like it threw me off my folding rhythm because I didn’t realise anybody else had thoughts like that.

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And usually people find it a bit weird to talk about existential stuff like that when you don’t really know them that well but like fuck me, I knew instantly that this was going to be a good friendship. Bare in mind I did quit shortly after and have only texted her once but like it could have been something good I guess. I don’t see why those types of topics have to be so official to talk about because I know that those conversations you have late at night at a sleepover with your friends are the best ways to become closer with them. Like you realise that people actually all thing fucked up shit like this. Obviously I don’t think it would be the best to turn to a stranger and be like “hey, isn’t it funny how I literally always think of fucking ending it lol” because that’s a bit deep and will most likely scare them off. Unless they are a therapist, in which case you better get your planner out because you are gonna be booked in to see them for the next year at least. I guess you could count that as getting a friend :/

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But I think something more just like “what do you even think is out there, like in space and shit” is a good one to go for because you could talk about that for ages and everyone thinks about that stuff so it would be easy and you would bond with the person. That is, of course, unless they are a dumb bitch and think that it’s all a scam and we are all just in some game. To be fair I would vibe with that. It isn’t even that dumb to be fair so sorry about that but you could even get into talking about conspiracy theories and shit. I think it would also give you a good scope of their personality and who they are as a person. You could probably find all the red flags within that one conversation. You could find they are a flat earther, racist, sexist, homophobic, one of those people who think the world is only like 7000 years old. It could save you a lot of time and effort by getting all that shit cleared up in your first conversation.

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I suppose it is quite the risky one as well because if the first thing you say to them is like “what are your opinions on the Epstein island stuff?” they might be like who the fuck are you and how did you get in my house?! Sorry that was a bit of dark humour, I don’t condone breaking into people’s houses. But anyways, they might be like that is so weird I don’t want to talk to you, then that is there loss and now you know they aren’t your type of person. It probably means they aren’t really down to earth or kind which is a bit ironic seeing as you would think people interested in conspiracy theories are not down-to-earth but I find that people who like to talk about that type of stuff are open-minded and generally interesting people. They don’t just believe what is said on the news and aren’t close-minded cheeky shits.

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Anyways, I suppose that is all that I wanted to mention and I hope that helps you out in some sort of way. Let me know if this worked for you and if you have a best friend because of a similar conversation. I mean small talk is the stupidest shit ever and like why not skip to the fun stuff? Don’t forget to like, comment and follow because I am planning to post more and I might just do some conspiracy theory posts because I actually do find them somewhat interesting to talk about. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Is 6th Year Really Worth It?

I’m in lower 6th and yes I have only been so for about 3 months but the thing is that I didn’t even know if I wanted to go back to that hell-hole. The only reason I did go was because I didn’t know what else to fucking do and I have FOMO so I… Continue Reading →

I Quit…Was It A Big Mistake?

So I would like to preface that I am a 16 year old who had a part-time job so obviously if you are like a mum of 5 or something and you are thinking about quitting, I would think it through a lot more than what I am going to mention but like just for… Continue Reading →

Alexa | Let’s Discuss It

You know. I’m not going to start slabbering about this hoe about the fact she might be listening to us, although I have a few creepy stories about that, or the fact she might be taking our personal information, because I mean why the fuck would anyone want to know that. Today I’m gonna talk… Continue Reading →

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Growing up: Expectations vs. Reality

I know that title makes me sound like I’m fucking ancient or some shit but like I am only 16. To be fair though this is me nearly becoming an adult and like is one of the biggest changes in life so I suppose I can talk about growing up. The difference between me now and me 5 years ago is astronomical. For example, I wouldn’t have been able to use astronomical in a sentence. We all grow in pretty weird ways despite the fact it is usually normal. I suppose we all reach the same point eventually but like each journey to get there is so different. So before I start getting into deep shit, lets just talk about some things that have shocked me, surprised me, met my expectations and disappointed me. And don’t forget to comment below some of the things you think I missed because it will be interesting to hear if anyone feels the same way or if I just over-think things way to much.

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One thing that I thought I would have by the time I was 16 or something was… a life. No, I’m joking, but also not but no, I thought I would have an idea of what the fuck I wanted to do with my life. I mean I think I had my life sorted out more when I was 10 than I do now because so much has changed and I have no fucking clue anymore. Like I always wanted to be a police woman and I still do but like also what the fuck?! Like what if I am crap at it, or what if I could have found the fucking cure for cancer but now I am just giving speeding tickets. Obviously police do a lot more than that and I really respect their work, but just to make a point. And I mean I don’t think that if I become a police woman that I will have that big of an impact on the world. I don’t mean that in a way that I want to be fucking famous but I would like to be remembered as someone who did something amazing that saved so many people’s lives. And while that sounds good and better than an office job, I don’t really want to have to work by a time table and for someone else who I might not be able to argue with if I think what they are doing is wrong. Like what if they are racist or some shit? It’s just difficult because there are pros and cons for every job but like it’s trying to weigh up how much the pros mean to you and how you will be affected by the cons.

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I had actually tried to start a business, like just a dropshipping business, but like I always get distracted. I literally started this blog to get my voice out there and, as you know, I haven’t been posting much. The thing is I get distracted by things that seem better that will get me places quicker, but look at me now. In the same exact fucking place as last year. Didn’t make money online, apart from a few online surveys, and although I do have all of you guys and the support has been amazing, I feel like I have failed in some way. That’s another thing about growing up that has kind of shocked me, or at least I new it was coming but never really thought it would be such a big thing. Failure. I have had a pretty fucked up life and maybe if I actually stuck to something I would be in a different position, but I didn’t so I’m not and I guess that’s fine. Like I am still young even though I am growing up so there is still time left.

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Kind of linking back to that last sentence, I never thought that I would feel as though there were time limits on life. I mean we all die and that is the main one, but I never thought about the fact that there are stages in life that you go through and in those stages there is almost a to-do list both with things that society has added, and ones you add yourself. For example, something on my list that I feel society has made more urgent is finding a significant other or going to uni, working, figuring out what the fuck I am doing and plan to do for the rest of my life. And some that I have added on myself are stuff like travelling and getting all the fun stuff out of the way before I have to start into “the real world” which gets closer and closer every day. I feel as though I have a timer ticking inside my head making me think that these are supposed to be the best years of my life but I am wasting them by doing literally nothing so when I grow up and maybe have kids and a stable job, I will regret my life and that I will never actually do anything beneficial or impactful. Do you know what I mean by that? Do I just sound crazy. I feel as though I only have a few years to live my life and then afterwards I need to live a life of always waiting forward to the weekend, but when it is the weekend I dread the week to come. Like once you start a job, that is your life until you retire, and then when you retire you may be lucky enough to travel but you’ll also be exhausted and unable to do some of the things that I should be doing now.

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That got really deep really fast so I hope I am not giving anyone an existential crisis, but I really do hope at least one person relates to this. Obviously I am still young, and mentally unstable, so I don’t really know what I am talking about so feel free to comment below what your thoughts are and maybe what you are scared for in the future. I’ll probably have to do another post about this in the future because it was actually kind of fun. Especially know that I know how to type properly so it is so much quicker and satisfying to get what I am thinking down because that shit changes quickly and when it’s gone it’s gone. But yeah, I am planning to focus on this blog from now on and you better make sure I stick to it because no matter what, I would love this blog to work and stay open for as long as I possibly can. Make sure you like, comment and follow so that you can stay updated about all the post I make that are going to be freaking awesome! I hope you have great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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I’m not above a fight

See, I don’t really like it when people are cheeky to me. I mean you can be upfront and shout at me and I’ll be fine with that. My sisters have conditioned me to that. But if you are being passive aggressive or cheeky in front of me or behind my back, I won’t hesitate… Continue Reading →

Train wreck of thought

I haven’t posted in a while, obviously, and I ain’t gonna explain why because it’s more boring than you think. It’s not like I went on a fucking trip to the Bahamas despite the fact I hope to go there some day if corona ever goes away. But anyways, a lot has happened like me… Continue Reading →

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Is 6th Year Really Worth It?

I’m in lower 6th and yes I have only been so for about 3 months but the thing is that I didn’t even know if I wanted to go back to that hell-hole. The only reason I did go was because I didn’t know what else to fucking do and I have FOMO so I didn’t want to miss anything. But would I have missed much? Is school really worth the 7am alarm and the boring painful days? Let’s discuss it

Btw this isn’t me about to talk about smart shit like “you need to go for uni” or “it will make you successful” because firstly do I even want to go to uni? I don’t know. And secondly it won’t make you successful because how the fuck would that make any sense. I’m just talking about whether 6th year is really worth the emotional and physical burden so that I can help people in a similar situation to what I was a few months back. So let this be your guide or some shit but let’s get into it more

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Teachers

Honestly, the teachers become your friend in a way. Like they actually talk to you and respect you more and you can slabbed about the younger years with them. Like I had always seen the really loud annoying people chatting with teachers and I was eaither like “how the fuck” or “why the fuck” but now they actually want to talk to us and it is easy to talk to them too. I guess it depends on how nice they are but for me I’ve been lucky. I suppose there is this one teacher who makes me actually shit myself but I think she doesn’t try to and like she is funny and tells us stories about her family which is cute. We actually had such a great convo about squid games which I guess is quite random but like we were actually all vibing over it. And then they talk to you even in the bus park and it just makes you feel a wee bit special and like before people would think it was a bit weird but when you are 6th year it is absolutely great.

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It is weird I guess to see your teachers as actual human beings. Like they talk about a life outside of school and actually being a living, breathing person. Obviously it isn’t like we are hanging outside of school with them but like they tell us stories about there weekend and while I try to look interested I can’t stop from getting an existential crisis. It happens though I guess. Teachers were actually one of the reasons I was questioning if I should go back to school or not because, to be fair all the teachers in my subjects are good, but like you do have preferences and I was scared I was gonna get crappy teachers who were rude to me but like not even. I love all my teachers and even the ones I don’t have you I used to not like are actually nice and respectful when you are walking down the corridor. It’s almost as if they realise we are a human with feelings as well.

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School to Life Ratio

Obviously I can’t speak for everyone and every school, but for me I do 3 subjects and that means I get a few study periods each day, well apart from the odd day where I have none, and so I get all my homework and revision and shit done during those periods. And do you know what is great about that? You guessed it! I don’t have to do shit outside of school. To be fair, I maybe should but like also I don’t really need to so like deal with it. You would assume that would make me have more time to socialise and, you know, be a normal teen girl, but like it just takes the homework out of my day and I stay my normal depressed hermit self. And I’m fine with that to be fair. It’s better than be a depressed hermit doing homework. So yeah, I feel like I was really scared that I would be bombarded with work and I would always have my head in the books like a DWEEB (jokes) but no literally I haven’t done anything at home and while there is a lot of work and it is a tad more in-depth and difficult, I get to study the subjects I genuinely like and that always makes it easier. So you don’t have to study things you don’t give two fucks about and it is more of a relaxed atmosphere. But I don’t know, maybe I should be doing work outside of school. I guess I’ll figure that one out but at the moment I am getting by with just in school. I’ll keep yous updated I suppose…

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School Status

I actually hate that sub-heading because I sound like the start of every ‘coming of age’ American high school movie to ever exist but I just don’t know what else to name it because, believe it or not, I am not a walking thesaurus. But just ignore that and we’ll move on. So what I mean is that, you know when you are in first year on like p1 or maybe just one of the younger years and you see the older ones walk by and you think they are the scariest, coolest people to ever exist and their presence is a blessing to you. Well, you kinda get to witness that in a new perspective. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t feel that way about myself and I do genuinely get scared of the small first years who literally have no filter or understanding of actual social etiquette after ‘rona, but there are a lot and when you walk into the 6th form room or just walk past them at all, you know they are looking up to you and that you will be in the right no matter what. In short, you basically run the school. Well, more so the upper 6th but like we are nearly there so deal with it. I do feel kinda bad sometimes though because in school I sometimes look like a bitch but like it kinda is their fault cause there annoying as fuck, but I feel like they might think I am judging them, but like I am not (not too much anyway) so like I don’t want to make them panic I suppose. So yeah lol, you definitely do finally have that power and knowledge that we instil some fear in their lives.

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But yeah, I suppose that is the post all done. To summarise, I guess I would say that 6th form is so different from other years. It is more chill in terms of the number of classes, relationships with the people in your year and your teachers and just the overall respect and trust they give you. It feels more like a home I suppose and for anyone reading this to help them figure out whether they should or shouldn’t stay in school, I say don’t focus on the work because if you don’t go then I assume you don’t want to go to uni, which is perfectly fine as well, but I mean having bad grades is equal to having no grades at all, but you still get the experience of school. I am glad I stayed on to be honest and I would say just to think about what you genuinely want. Not what society or your parents want you to do, but what you think is best for you. Obviously all schools are different but I really enjoy school at the moment and that is a lot coming from someone who had the worst fucking years of school EVER. And I mean I was crying most nights and genuinely thought I would never make friends or go to a party or anything like that. But listen, you will get through it and if you go to 6th year and realise it isn’t what you expected/need in your life, then fucking leave. It’s voluntary and free (in public school anyways) so just test the waters because what have you got to lose? Pretty much nothing.

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Also I feel like a lot of people wonder if being in voluntary school makes it easier because you aren’t forced to go by law, but like I don’t really think about it that much. Like it doesn’t affect how I think of school or studying. It doesn’t make me more or less motivated. It’s just a fact an nothing else. So yeah, I hope that helped and please do like, follow and comment if there are any other questions or problems you would like me to talk about. Let me be your older sister in a sense because it is a hard decision to make, I must admit. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Makeup and Me

First of all, to the people who are in the comments right now saying “It’s makeup and I, not makeup and me” literally take you Hermione Granger ass outside or “I” will personally make Jeff Bezos land his fucking dick rocket on you. I mean would you slate Marley and Me for the grammar issue?… Continue Reading →

Back To School. Could I be bothered?

The answer is no, but it is also a bit more complicated than that. Do I like the first day of school where everything is new, you get the new time tables, new classes, new teachers? Yes, you could say that. But in general, I really could not be arsed to go back. Lately when… Continue Reading →

Do You Know What’s Weird? Eyes

Because I am SUCH an expert in this field, I am going to talk about all aspects. That directly translates to, I think about this shit a lot and think it would be weird to have “eyebrows, eyelashes, eyes and under eyes” in the title. So I guess we’ll get into it, but first I’m… Continue Reading →

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Alexa | Let’s Discuss It

You know. I’m not going to start slabbering about this hoe about the fact she might be listening to us, although I have a few creepy stories about that, or the fact she might be taking our personal information, because I mean why the fuck would anyone want to know that. Today I’m gonna talk about the dumb blonde bitch energy that she radiates. Now, I’m blonde so I feel like I can say that without adhering to the stereotype, but even if I wasn’t, we would have to give it a pass because of the accuracy. So yeah, let’s discuss alexa for a minute

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Literally any time that I ask her anything, I am waiting either for the “sorry I don’t know that one” or just complete silence. Like if you ask her any more than “what time is it” she panics. And she trys to be slick with it too. She just don’t speak and act like she didn’t hear you, but you can see that blue light moving around and then just go away. I mean what the hell. And I also can’t cope whenever I ask her something like “set a 5 minute timer” for dying my eyebrows or something and then she keeps going like “do you want to name it? Do you want me to wake you up with calming sea noises? Shall I set five other unnecessary timers just incase?” and by the time she’s done with all the questions, it’s been like 10 minutes. So I’m sitting here with my now slug-looking eyebrows and the bitch just sit there like “5 minute timer, starting now”. But don’t even speak to me if I go to cancel it and she’s like “there are no timers” like shut the fuck up, there really just is.

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I’m convinced that just me typing the word alexa is gonna get her telling me random crap because she only hears her name whenever you don’t want her to but when you literally scream at her, she goes deaf. I mean I know you in there. I see that blue light of yours and I ain’t having it. But like really it scares the shit out of me especially on tiktok because people say alexa a lot and they never ask anything normal, so all of a sudden my alexa rises from the dead like “playing WAP by Cardi B” while my parents are in the room below me like what the fuck. It ain’t too useful.

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I remember when she was literally the best thing though and everyone was proper loving it, but I think that built up her ego and now she can’t live up to that standard so has just given up completely. But then out of nowhere she pulls out a weird feature. Now my mum can “drop” into my room through the alexa without any warning. The first time it happened I nearly shat myself because I just heard this little fairy music and all of a sudden my Mum’s voice like “helloooo”. Here was me looking around the room like fuck this shit, where the fuck are you. I mean privacy is non-existent now. And to elaborate further for those who didn’t know about this feature, it’s is basically like getting a call but it instantly gets you through. They don’t ask you shit about whether you want to answer and you have no clue who it is until their voice shoots out, but the truth is that you can barely hear them. Now, my parents are usually hard to hear anyways, but like it isn’t any better when you hear this crackly, far-away, laggy fucking speaker.

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And you know, in all honestly, what were we expecting? Value for our money? Nah, Jeff Bezos isn’t about that lifestyle. He is make cheap and sell expensive. I’m sure he isn’t the only one but he sure as hell is the only one getting away with it. I’m also a bit bored of this convo now and will sign off, but I am also planning on posting more because I’m gonna quite my dumb fucking job, and I have so many stories to tell about that so don’t forget to follow and comment below what you think happened. I’ll give you one hint, illegal. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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I Got My Results and I Feel…

I got my GCSE results yesterday and to be honest, I feel the same fucking way I felt last week. I mean there was no big sigh of relief or weight off my shoulders. I didn’t turn ecstatic, it was just another part of my day. Like it was literally just reading letters on a… Continue Reading →

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I’m not above a fight

See, I don’t really like it when people are cheeky to me. I mean you can be upfront and shout at me and I’ll be fine with that. My sisters have conditioned me to that. But if you are being passive aggressive or cheeky in front of me or behind my back, I won’t hesitate to fight.

No this isn’t coming out of the blue guys, but something I did yesterday kinda got my blood boiling if you get me. Anyways, here I was at my friend’s house for moral support because I was about to call my work and be like “hey girl so for medical and educational reasons I’m not gonna be able to work more than 8 hours a week but obviously I can work more on holidays thanks”, and here my manager does the longest sigh ever, literally I could almost smell her stinking breathe it was that loud, and I was like shit what is about to happen. Then this bitch really stops the sigh and goes “that’s not really helpful for us”

😮 Did I ask?! No I think the fuck I didn’t so why the hell did you have to say that. Would you prefer I didn’t work any hours? Do you want me to quit because I’ll be more than happy to get out of this bitch. Like I actually don’t even like work. When I tell you I was shocked, I mean I was back-from-war-tazer-in-the-back shocked. I still am at the moment tbh.

But anyways, after that, I paused because I was in denial at that stage or something and then I was just like “Ummm well… It’s for medical reasons as well” because my doctor told me to say that so she legally couldn’t fire me for it (I also wouldn’t care if she did because then id use and never have to work again, I’m not too proud to miss that opportunity bitch) and here she was acting all nice again, miss cheeky bitch tryna get on my good side again. Like I actually have to go to work with her today and if she comes up to me and starts talking shit, I will happily throw hands. I mean I’m terrified of her too, let’s not get ahead of ourselves, but she barely knows me and doesn’t know how hard I can hit. BTW this is a joke don’t be calling the police

Anyways yeah that happened and it really made me realise how much I HATE, despise, loath, work. Do I get paid minimum wages to only get a 20 min break during illegal hours?! I think the fuck not. Like I have enough money saved to get my ass out of that hoe and I only stay cause I want my parents to be proud of me lol. But you have to admit what she said was petty uncalled for. Like it was not necessary. I actually despise the working world and it sucks the little bit of life and dignity inside of me.

So what do you guys reckon I should do? Quit or just realise that this is life. Also if anyone is like a law person, is there any way I could use for doing illegal hours with only a 20 minute break. I mean that would be ideal lol. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Social Media If They Were People pt.1

Bare with me on this one guys because I know the title makes it sound dumb as fuck, but we need to address this shit. I will literally make everything make sense to you because I know you know this but you don’t know that you know it yet, if that makes sense. Basically, you… Continue Reading →

Let’s Discuss Billie Eilish’s New Album (2021)

To quote the bible, “God said let there be light, and he created Billie Eilish”, or at least that is my interpretation. And with this light, the best songs, fan groups, vibes and album’s thrived. I know I am a bit late guys because her album came out around 4 days ago but these things… Continue Reading →

Something I Realized About Being a Waitress

I’m going to try and keep this post quite small, kind of like the size of the tips people give. Yup, that is what I am talking about today and I would like to preface that this is in the most respectful way possible. I don’t feel this way towards young teen or people struggling… Continue Reading →

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Train wreck of thought

I haven’t posted in a while, obviously, and I ain’t gonna explain why because it’s more boring than you think. It’s not like I went on a fucking trip to the Bahamas despite the fact I hope to go there some day if corona ever goes away. But anyways, a lot has happened like me starting A levels, which I think is 12th grade in America, and my sister is also away to uni in a whole different fucking country. I mean I know you didn’t like me all that much but geez, I get the fucking hint.

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I also got a hair cut that is like shoulder length and made me want to cry on the first day but then when I styled it I liked it which I think is the ritual for any hair cut. Surely that is the same for guys too. I mean even I cry at some of the haircuts guys get. I mean that barber really did you dirty with that ski. You’re starting to look like Stewie Griffin from Family Guy. Do you know I also literally get a wee hairdresser that comes to my house. Not in the way where like I am so rich I hire a personal hairdresser, but as in it is cheaper and kinda just for the lols. That is totally unnecessary for you to know but it is what it is I guess.

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But my mum literally knows her from a friend who is the hairdressers friend and client and my mum is like “it’s a small world” and while I do use that phrase quite often, or at least when necessary, but like it really is incorrect. I mean it’s a small fucking country. Northern Ireland is barely a dot on the map, don’t quote me on that, and it doesn’t bug me but gets me thinking, something that flat earthers never do.

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I actually remember one time when Logan Paul posted a video of him talking to a flat earther and the whole click bate was that he believed the guy and I was like this is bullshit. Don’t worry, I have not been converted. The reason I mentioned it was because it is the perfect transition into telling you very frightening times in my life. Firstly, and I am ashamed to say it, I was someone who nearly bought Logang merch. DON’T WORRY! It is not contagious and I have got it sorted. It was a close call but I made it. I mean I was invested in his man’s life. I wanted to meet him so bad and thought he was such a cool dude. Like when he bought a massive pumpkin, I was on my knees worshipping him. Like it was not ok. I didn’t stick around long enough for him to like do that video in Japan and I think the only thing I have watched of his since is when his bird died LOL. I mean this guy makes everything into a joke. His family, his bird, his life, EVERYTHING. He did start some trends though I have to admit. Not good ones, but trends none the less.

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I think I can forgive myself for that because it was kind of inevitable for me as I was in my flat cap phase. All of my friends will instantly know what this means, but to catch you all up, it was bad. VERY bad. I thought I was so rebellious and edgy. I have this one photo that haunts me to this day. It is me on my holiday after I bought my first flat cap and I swear if you look closely enough, you can see me slowly turn into a disappointment. And again, just to clarify, I am out of that now. Well, the flat cap part, maybe not the disappointment part. I think I need to show this to my therapist

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Anyways, thank you for reading my rant and it was very random so sorry for dragging you down my train wreck of thoughts, but you got to the end now and you can have a rational thought again. As a recap, never EVER fall vulnerable to flat caps. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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I Think I Know Why I’m So Stupid

Ok so look, I haven’t been posting in a bit because I’m busy and all that shit. Wow, I’m a poet and I didn’t even know it. Anyways, I reckoned I would post something today while I have the chance and I wanted to do a wee story time or something. And this will be… Continue Reading →

The Olympics: Awkwardness Unlocked

So I was just watching the opening ceremony or the Olympics and I’m sorry but like how awkward would that be. Especially for the people that work there and just wave as they walk down and have to act as though people are watching them but like really nobody is. And then the actual athletes… Continue Reading →

I Hate Genes

To any foetus child out there who is like what the fuck are genes, basically they are the characteristics that we get from our parents and they make up who we are and what we look like. For example, I inherited my dad’s white ass Irish skin which burns like a bitch whenever a bloody… Continue Reading →

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Back To School. Could I be bothered?

Back To School. Could I be bothered?

The answer is no, but it is also a bit more complicated than that. Do I like the first day of school where everything is new, you get the new time tables, new classes, new teachers? Yes, you could say that. But in general, I really could not be arsed to go back. Lately when I talk to my friends, they are all like “yeah I think I am ready to go back to school though and I’m ready to go back to normal school life and work”. And I’m just here like “yeah totally” but in reality I just don’t want to go back. Especially as we’ll have to do those shitty tests they make you do that really make no fucking sense. Like how do they test your smartness based of whether or not you know how many holes there will be in a folded piece of paper. Like it really is a load of shite. If I was a teacher and saw that someone couldn’t mentally fold a page into a swan or some shit, I wouldn’t be thinking he was dumb, I would think he has more important things to understand, and surprisingly origami isn’t one of them.

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I don’t know if my friends are a bunch of NERDS (jokes I love them) but they are prepared and talking about how they want to go back because we have been off so long and I just join in because I don’t want to be that one bitch that goes “I actually couldn’t give a shit if I were to never go back to school. Like I’m done with this hoe and I don’t want to start” because they would disown me. I think I’ll just go because I have nothing else to do and I don’t want to end up living at my parents house for the rest of my life and become the creepy auntie who is always way too drunk and getting way too close for comfort. And I always try to come up with these money making plans and they never turn out the way I want. I do keep going with them too be honest. I mean this blog was one of the attempts, but it is what it is and maybe some day I can drop out of school and do my own thing.

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I’m going into lower 6th, which is the second last year of high school, so it is the first voluntary year of school. So technically I don’t have to be there. I don’t really know what that is gonna do for my motivation because it could kinda be one of those situations where you are excited to do something but then when someone tells you to do it, you turn into a stubborn bitch and don’t want to do it anymore. Or maybe I just won’t try because there is no pressure of me having to go there. The one perk though is that we get a separate we area in the school that only the 6th years can go into because we are obviously the elite. And now we can be the intimidating ones that tower over all the first years and are best mates with all the teachers. Well, maybe not that last point because I am still socially awkward.

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We also only have to do 3 or 4 classes now which is good but I feel like it will still be just as much work and that makes me want to die. I picked 4 classes (chem, geo, business studies and Spanish) but I’m planning to drop one in the first month or so. It’s a good plan like so that if I find I don’t like one, most likely chemistry, I can drop it and not have to worry about it. But at the moment I can’t be arsed doing any and I’m scared I’m gonna hate them all or maybe drop the wrong one. It’s a possibility. And the first timetable I have won’t have as many study breaks and that might freak me out, but it will be fine right. It’s also gonna be so scary to tell a teacher that I want to leave their class. Like I don’t need to say it to them, but leaving implies I don’t like what they have devoted their life to. Likes like the biggest insult of all time. I am also shitting myself for the smaller classes. My Spanish class will defo be small and that is so scary because I will have to answer more and I can’t just hide in the back. What if everyone there is fucking annoying and I just have to vibe there for the next 2 years. What if we are the boring class that they hate to teach? What if I turn out to be shite at the subject?

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Maybe living in my parents house forever isn’t all that bad. Maybe I can be the fun drunk aunt who always buys the alcohol, takes you shopping, gives the best advice and shouts at your parents for doing anything other than worship us. Sounds fun like. Maybe if this blog blows up I could also just leave school but I won’t put that pressure on you guys lol. Anyways, I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Who Else Is Pissed At Forrest Gump’s Mum?

Bitch, I don’t know much about this movie. I mean I’ve watched it and I know the general plot but like the only thing that sticks with me to this day and the phrase that every organism is aware of is when he says “mama says life is like a box a chocolates, you neve’… Continue Reading →

Summer In The UK Is No Fucking Joke

You see, I have been to Florida, California, Turkey, Spain and some other places and they have all been really warm. Like obviously they were roasting places, but not one of them (well, maybe Florida) roasted or toasted me like the UK does. It’s as if the sun piled up all it’s heat that is… Continue Reading →

The Best Part About Having Great Friends

Now, I ain’t tryna rub this in anyone’s face or nothing but like, I have a small group of really close friends and despite the fact it took me a while to get over myself and make friends, it was totally worth it because we are so close. We have never had fights like everyone… Continue Reading →

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The Biggest Difference Between Primary and Secondary School

Now, if your looking for some sort of “12% of children going into their first year of secondary school with anxiety brought on my the change of school” then you are out of luck bitch bitch there is one thing and one thing only that I will talk about in this post. And what is it you may ask? What is the biggest difference between primary and secondary school? The time.

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What I mean by this is the fact that primary school felt like a shit ton of time. I mean it literally made up the first 10 years of our life. I remember it felt like P3 lasted for a million years and the rest went a wee bit faster but still seemed to be never ending. Not in the way that it was boring as hell, which it was, but I mean it felt like it was my whole life and the difference between P1 and P7 was such a jump and thousands of years apart. Yet, in secondary school, I am going into lower 6th and I feel like I was in 1st year last year. It is so weird and although I do feel like I am this old, I think that time has gone by so quickly. But then I say that and in the moment it actually feels like a fucking long time. Getting through each year didn’t feel fast but when you look back and actually process the information, it really has just flashed past you. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad it’s all over. I would definitely never do that shit again but like it’s weird.

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And I can’t even say “time flies when your having fun” because there was not one ounce of it. And that isn’t an exaggeration. Like, if anything, I should be saying “time flies when you wake up disappointed that you actually woke up”. Like that is true. And in primary school we had the best of time eating glue, scrapping our knees, learning how to not pick our nose in front of people, but yet it felt like an eternity. Literally make it make sense.

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Maybe it is because so much changes between P1 and P7. I mean you literally do go from a literal foetus child who only is just potty trained, to a preteen whose only personality trait is being the oldest in the school. I mean I am right aren’t I. And then from 1st year to upper 6th, you are actually fully aware that you are alive and have responsibilities and the only thing that really changes is you mature, you have a wee bit more knowledge, you get increasingly more terrified of the future, and, last but not least, your mental health is close to the point of no return. All fun right?! :/

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Honestly though, I don’t mean to scare anyone that is going into high school or secondary school or whatever the hell you call it because we all go through different experiences and that’s fine. So your experience may be great, others may find it shit and that is fine because it’s normal. This is just a stage of your life that you need to get through and on the other end you can completely forget it and move on or use it as a show of your strength. And I’m not gonna tell you some bullshit motivational speech where I say “these years are the best years of your life” because that shit hurts, but also because you are the one who decides what the best years of your life are. I mean if these years are utter shite and you think “that’s the best years of my life wasted”, just think that it can only go up from here and that those years don’t define you. You had to hit rock bottom so you could push off stronger than ever and reach the heights you deserve. They don’t define you unless you want them to, so just hang in there ok. It goes by quickly, yes, but in the moments where it feels so slow, you gotta remember that it’s only a small part of the big plot of your life. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Ok, But Like Where’s The Need?

So, with making this blog I wanted to make sure I was completely honest with you guys. I know that makes it sound really scary as though I’m gonna be like “I am Michael Jackson, I in fact did not die” but it isn’t that deep. It’s just a thing that most of us go… Continue Reading →

Do I Have Anger Issues Or Was She Just a Bitch?

You guys need to settle something for me today because just this morning I was confronted by a crazy, telly-tubby lookin’ ass bitch on my walk and she really angered me, I will tell the story in a sec, but when I told my mum she seemed unfazed. So today, with your opinion, I will… Continue Reading →

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I Got My Results and I Feel…

I got my GCSE results yesterday and to be honest, I feel the same fucking way I felt last week. I mean there was no big sigh of relief or weight off my shoulders. I didn’t turn ecstatic, it was just another part of my day. Like it was literally just reading letters on a page. I did really well so it isn’t like my marks were the problem, but I just remember when I was in my first year and you would see all the old ones getting ready for GCSEs and getting the results later on and I would think they were the coolest people and it must be such a great time to see how you have done, but like I don’t know if it is because of corona or something, but it doesn’t seem that big. Like, it hasn’t affected me a lot and I never really was that worked up about it even before. I may have acted like it because everyone else was so excited but I didn’t really feel any different. It makes me sound ungrateful and I know that but it is true. It just doesn’t seem like such a big deal to me.

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Please, if someone got their results in the last few days, tell me if this is the same for you because I feel like it was a total anticlimax and I thought that something big was gonna happen and obviously it didn’t. Were my expectations too high? Was I too tired? Did I just not care? I mean even today, it is all in the past. You just move on. I don’t look at my grades and think of the great future I can have and how successful I can become with careers and shit. Like it was quite literally just a bunch of letters. That sounds like it was a really inspirational moment as well, as though it put everything into perspective, but it was just nothing you know.

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I also get awkward as fuck whenever people ask me what I got because I did well and I don’t want people to feel worse if they didn’t get what I did but still did awesomely and then I would look like that bitch feeling nothing for their results but overhyping their results. So I kinda just say I did well unless they specifically ask me what I got. It do be like that sometimes I guess. And my results are quite literally in among a pile of rubbish in my room and I know where they are like. They aren’t actually in the bin, but I always expected them to be like up on the fridge or like in a picture frame, but it is just there and I don’t give a shit about it.

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I called my granny on the day to tell her what I got and I swear she was more excited than me. Obviously, she wouldn’t be like “Ok?” and hang the phone up, but like I was just like yup. I didn’t fit the vibe check to say it in other terms. It was one of those moments where you are like “what now?”. I expect that to happen when I finish A levels or uni, if I even go, because what happens after you pass and everyone is like “well done” because you just go home and the world keeps spinning. Nobody else in the world is affected or knows of it and some people feel like their whole life has changed for good, but there are people just having a normal day. Seriously though, what did you do after graduating from university? Did you just go home and make yourself something to eat as usual? Did you wake up the next morning and have nothing much to do? I mean you have to start thinking about jobs and shit and actually making a living. It’s kind of just like another level of a game, just glorified. And I know this is probably dragging everyone done if they had a great day yesterday, but for me, that is how I feel. Just the same.

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I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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My First Holiday In Two Years

I feel like in 30+ years, there is gonna be someone that stumbles upon this post and be like “imagine not being able to teleport to wherever the fuck you want or even just hop in your flying car. Imagine how boring it would be especially as they don’t have phones built into their heads”… Continue Reading →

“You look just like your dad”

Let’s play a quick game of never have I ever. Never. Have I ever needed to hear that. Never have I ever wanted to hear that. Never have I ever felt good after hearing that. Never have I ever gone to someone’s house and they didn’t say this. Never have I ever been more offended…. Continue Reading →

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Something I Realized About Being a Waitress

I’m going to try and keep this post quite small, kind of like the size of the tips people give. Yup, that is what I am talking about today and I would like to preface that this is in the most respectful way possible. I don’t feel this way towards young teen or people struggling financially, but there are a few people who may have caused absolute hell to my day or are obviously well off financially that give fuck all and I need to get it out there to someone.

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Now, I haven’t been a waitress for very long and I also don’t work in a fancy restaurant, but I work my ass off and give them the best experience possible. Maybe at the end of my shift I am less chatty but I am polite and efficient. I think it is my first or second week in this job and 2 days ago I had my busiest shift. I mean there were people out the fucking door and they just kept coming. I was stressed with learning so many things and having to communicate and put those lessons into practice almost immediately. Now that may not seem all that difficult but when you are already always stressed and there is so much noise and movement, it is pretty fucking hard. But then at the end of the shift, after serving so many bloody tables and a lot of big tables with 6-8 people, I got less than £4. I may sound like an ungrateful bitch but even I tip when I go out. Like it may not be a lot but it shows that I tried.

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And you see, my problem isn’t with teens not tipping because obviously they don’t know any better, and I don’t care if you just buy a small snack for yourself and/or your friend because that isn’t a lot of work for me and it is only a small bill anyways. But I swear to god, if I have to get you one million drinks, go back and forth having to get different salts and sauces or you buy lots of meals and desserts, you should at least have the courtesy of giving the waiters a bit of recognition because new flash, this isn’t what we want to be doing on a Friday night. That isn’t your fault and it is our job, I get that, but I’m paid minimum wage and could easily do the bare minimum but because I value you and want you to have the best experience, I work hard. Also, if you think we are being slow, that is probably because we are handling a handful of tables at a time and trying to prioritize and remember all the shit we have to do next. We haven’t forgotten about you, we want to get you sorted as quickly as possible and for me, someone who is new to the job, may take longer and make a few mistakes.

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I have had a few embarrassing times, one just the other day, where I was so exhausted and mentally fucked that I just forgot the table numbers and I had to walk around holding plates of food and having no clue where it was. I would sometimes forget what table it was even for and then have to go back and ask the scary chefs and then I would forget what dishes it even was and have to act like an idiot. It is fucking scary to breathe and look you in the eye especially when you are fucking rude or ignorant. Even if you don’t mean it and you don’t necessarily do anything mean like throw water in their face, make sure you give them a smile and a thank you or just any indication that you appreciate their presence because if we didn’t have waiters, you wouldn’t get any food or it would be 10 times later and with worse service. Maybe you think of us as unskilled or something but we are important for you getting your meals and drinks and everything.

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So here is something I feel like I need to say. I don’t feel entitled to a tip. I don’t expect every single person to tip because they may not know that is what you usually do yet. But what I don’t appreciate is when you are rude and dismissive and don’t give a tip, despite the fact we were of great service. If you don’t have anything to give, we don’t judge that, but make sure you look us in the eyes and genuinely show you are grateful. That may just be me and I may sound ignorant as it is my first week but every single waiter out there needs a bit of respect. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Weekly Reminder

I’ve heard a lot of people mention something that their therapist once told them to do. They said “the other day my therapist told me to look over at an empty chair and imagine child you sitting on it. They then asked me what I looked like and I said I looked happy and excited…. Continue Reading →

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The Best Part About Having Great Friends

Now, I ain’t tryna rub this in anyone’s face or nothing but like, I have a small group of really close friends and despite the fact it took me a while to get over myself and make friends, it was totally worth it because we are so close. We have never had fights like everyone else seems to have in school, and we are unproblematic. There is 5 of us, including me, so I suppose you can say we are a smaller group, but I don’t think I could imagine there being anymore. There have been people who have tried to go into our group which leads to awkward situations but it has always just stayed the same for us. Pretty much we just live our life like the people who walk away from an explosion without looking back to see it. We are those bitches and I wouldn’t change a single thing about it. So that does sound like a bit of a flex, but I added that because there is one thing that happens that I absolutely love and that I know other people go through with best friends. So lets talk about it.

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So, this thing is when you are with your friends, it is usually getting dark and you are not surrounded by other people, so you’d be in a tent or like outside or in your bedroom in an empty house, and then the conversation changes so quickly. Not as in “I love dogs, except when mine bit of my Nan’s arm”. But like when you are talking about something hilarious and then the next minute you find yourself talking about how we just live on a floating rock in empty space and we don’t even know what is out there. And I have no fucking clue how it gets there but like it isn’t awkward at all. We are all just like calm and talking back and forth and then you say something like “I just can’t even comprehend blah blah blah” and then someone else is like “that’s the same with me” and then you realise you aren’t crazy. Then all of a sudden you have just spilled all of the tea and fully exposed yourself but like you don’t even care. The thing that is extra funny about it is the fact that it is pretty much never mentioned again until the next time that situation happens and even then you usually switch up the topic. Maybe one week it was an existential crisis and the next it would be sharing traumas and then maybe next week we’ll mix it up with a talk about how scary the future is. It kind of is just pot luck at that point.

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Do you guys get that with your friends though? I always find it so fun because it is so spontanious and you find that other people understand and it shocks you and nobody is proper going to make a massive deal out of it and treat you differently. It doesn’t really happen with everyone that I am friends with, which is literally not that many lol, but with the closest friends this would be a regular moment. It happened yesterday when me and my friends were like just going to Tesco and then a field and it just hits out of nowhere. And then you usually just catapult back into the most random shit. It really is a mountain of emotions. Like we go from fuck all, to everything, to even less than before.

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This kind of a random post, a bit out of the blue you know, but like I have changed into a working woman because I have a job and that has made me exhausted and with little time to spare, but don’t fret guys because I will be trying my best to post I just don’t have a mind full of thoughts at the moment. It’s a good job though but I still literally freak out when I have another shift. We move though. So yeah, I’m keeping this short but I also want to add that if you are reading this and are like “oh shit I don’t have this with my friends” just know that it took me a while to find the right people and get comfortable enough to talk with them like that. I mean if you read one of my past posts abut my first year of high school you would know I never thought I would get to this point. So just be yourself and wait because you will find those friends someday and you can’t rush that shit, but it will be so worth it, trust me on that. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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