Let’s Discuss It | Parenting

It’s a bit ironic to have a literal kid (who has no kids) talking about parenting, but like I was just on a walk and it was kind of an existential kind of day and I was just thinking about how fucked up that shit is and how scary that must bloody be. Like it just amazes me. Being an adult, in general, is just so bloody shocking. I think it’s because I am now one of the oldest years in the school and I remember being a literal first year and thinking they were so grown, but now that I am in that year, I really don’t know shit.

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What if that is literally the same with becoming a parent. Obviously, it will make you grow up but like suddenly you have the responsibility of another life in your hands. I mean I can’t even sort my own life out and, while I am not planning on having kids any day soon, there are people my age that do and I just respect that so much because I can’t even imagine what that would be like. Surely even in your late 20’s or whenever you are kinda still a kid and trying to figure the world out. You have to learn how to manage your own shit and keep this human being alive. Surely everything you do is just a guess and it is pure luck that these kids survive. I mean sure you have your parents but still, parenting and life change every day so there are bound to be other things that you just have to go for.

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And at what stage do we find out how to pay taxes, or how to buy a house, or how to plan and pay for a holiday? And also, when you have kids, when do you know to start giving them solid ‘real’ food? And what do you do when you need to register the existence of said baby? I’m gonna assume the hospital would help you with that but still, there is so much to figure you the day you leave the hospital. All of a sudden you are in the car with this baby in a seat you just about managed to install and your whole life ahead of you. There isn’t a bloody nurse following you or making sure the baby is ok. You are just completely on your own and it’s just you and your baby for the next 18 years.

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Don’t get me wrong, they are freaking cute but surely there was a moment when you were pregnant or when they are literally birthed where you just had a major panic like “what the fuck! I can’t handle this for the rest of my life”. That happened to me when I got braces on and I thought it was gonna be so good and just quirky overall, but then the very first day I got them on, I was like “I want these off right now” and it was just that sort of sinking feeling where you just wish it was all a dream and I would wake up with perfectly straight teeth and no problems. But if you have a kid, that is the rest of your life and you can’t really change that. Sure there are some different options, but overall you will be left with some sort of emotional damage.

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Don’t get me started on multiple kids. Even me and my sisters do my head in. I’m a twin as well so that’s double the horror all at once. It’s like picking a sweet out of a bowl thinking it’s an M’n’M but in reality, it is literally just shite. AND WHAT IF THERE ARE THREE. There is pretty much no way to avoid that type of situation and if they come out identical people will think you can’t parent because you can’t tell them apart. They literally all come out looking like the same slimy potato! So you can’t do much about it. I’m absolutely awful with names too so I would be inventive with one and then call the others B and C or some crap. Then I would have to remember the names and spell them right on the birth certificate and then try not to lose that.

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There are just so many reliabilities in even the first day you get your kid. Their name can change their future and everything. Anything you say or do can make or break their future. What if I am a shite mum and never figure anything out. I can barely order my own food at a restaurant and I only just learnt how to do the washing. I have no clue how all you parents do it out and I haven’t even scratched the surface with this post. There is also having to relive school life, in some sort of way, and having to deal with their cheeky bitch faze. I hate myself at that faze, so how can I cope with someone else. You quite literally have to learn on the job and I feel like I always assumed parent’s had their shit sorted out, but I kinda think that you don’t think too differently to us (the teens) and you are still trying to work out how everything works and you are just panicking ever day.

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Anyways, so now that all the new and expecting parents are terrified, I think this is a good place to stop. I really do respect everything that parents do and it is so hard to get that down in words because it is absolutely terrifying and crazy. I’m sure it’s blood rewarding too but you make it look so easy and I KNOW it most definitely is not. So please, can all the parents out there comment below your thoughts and opinions on parenting because obviously I am not, and will not be for a while, a parent. Don’t forget to like and follow for more. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Why Does Nobody Appreciate A Bargain?

POV: it’s Saturday. You are with a friend on the train and because we are so spontaneous we say “hey, why don’t we go to Botanic instead?”. You feel crazy because you are now getting off one stop later, what a rush. You go around and live the quirky life you desired as you shop… Continue Reading →

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The Most Common US Misconceptions About The UK

This post is gonna come off as fucking cheeky and kind of playing with American stereotypes, but I want to make it clear to you now that I 100% mean it. So, sorry I guess but it has to be done. To be fair though, when was there ever a need for you to learn… Continue Reading →

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How To Describe My Blog

Sometimes when I am writing a new post I sometimes look at myself in the mirror and wonder what the fuck I’m even talking about. What genre is this? I would say comedy but then again I don’t want to seem cocky and I don’t even know if people understand my humour. I would also… Continue Reading →

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Your Parents Were 99.9% Right

I know this isn’t something you like to hear but it is true, your parents were 99.9% right. Not about everything, definitely not, but they were about this one thing that they told you when you were literally a foetus sized human being. And what is that? Well, do you remember when they would say “you can be whatever you want when you grow up”? That is what they are 99.9% right about. You can literally be whatever the fuck you want in this world and I can prove it to you. I didn’t intend this post to be so motivating but if it helps you in any way then I am happy.

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Why are they so right when they say we can be whatever we want to be when we are older? Did they secretly become psychic or just got lucky? Well, I can’t speak for all families I guess, but in my family, they were making an educated guess. Obviously, they couldn’t predict what I would be but they knew that if I tried hard enough then, with their support, I could be anything. But the motivation and family aspects aren’t really what I am here to talk about today. Not all families have a great support system and are willing and able to give their kids the life they deserve. I’m talking literally and I’m talking facts bitch.

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You can quite literally be whatever the fuck you wanna be. You can become famous for literally anything. Don’t believe me? You can join all the bloody “great British…” shit and earn a living if you win or just take part in any way. I’m sure there are equivalents depending on where you live but if we use this one alone the possibilities are endless. There is the Great British Bake Off, the Great British Sewing Bee, the Great British Gardening Show (I don’t know the exact name of that one but you get my point). All 3 of the shows I just listed are so fucking random and different from each other and there are probably other shows for everything in between. Cooking, surviving on a desert island, being sexy beside a pool, watching TV. All of the things that I just listed actually make people rich and famous. Maybe that isn’t the goal you intended but you can still make a bloody living from that shit.

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Maybe being on TV isn’t your thing. Maybe becoming famous isn’t your goal. That doesn’t even matter because we as humans are so bloody lazy and we are willing to pay others to do the things we can’t be arsed to do or learn how to do. You can wash people’s windows, wait in a line for them, be a bodyguard, deliver people’s food or drive them places. I mean that is only like 0.00001% of things out there that you can do and when you really think about what the aim of each job is, it sounds bloody ridiculous. Let’s say a photographer. Obviously, this job, and many other’s, require a lot of skill and practice, but essentially it is just taking photos of you which you could probably do yourself with a little time and money. Like you literally pay people to do something that you would do every day. Now I know that seems like I am discrediting the work that photographers put in but I didn’t really know how to put it. It’s just to show you how something as simple as taking photos can literally make you a living and give you the ability to meet great people and visit amazing places. As long as you put in the hard work and become great at what you love, you can make that your whole career.

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Do you like drawing? Career. Do you like tennis? Career. Do you like walking? Career. Do you like arguing? You guessed it, career. As long as you fucking believe in yourself and are willing to become the best at what you do, no matter how long that may take, then you can make that your career and you can live off what you love the most. Don’t listen to what other people have to say because they just haven’t figured it out yet. People will pay for any shit, whether it is you doing something for them, you teaching them how to do it, or just watching you do what you do best. So stop feeling fucking embarrassed or set on a bloody 9-5 job and get to work.

But what is the last 0.1%? Why aren’t our parents 100% right? Well, because you can’t become the fucking Hulk.

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Now that I have completely ruined the vibes, it is time for me to sign off. Oh and I am sticking to my promise of posting more, but I was just in Edinburgh for a few days for the lols. But yeah that was irrelevant. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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I Don’t Get The Guinness Book Of World Records

Maybe it’s because I have no skills of my own but like I don’t understand the hype of the Guinness book of world records because the only thing it did was make me confused at why the drink my dad loves is making a book? Like… make it make sense. It’s kinda cool I guess… Continue Reading →

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Let’s Discuss It | Pronouns

Can people please just get over it and wise up because it just isn’t that hard bitch. Firstly I’d like to say that my pronouns are she/her and I’m straight so I can’t really speak of experience but I want to talk from the perspective of just an accepting human being which is literally the… Continue Reading →

The Stupidity In An Educated Guess

I was in one of my weird patches the other day and I was scrolling through my social media (as is normal during a breakdown) and I saw some things that kinda maybe didn’t help me at all, but it got me thinking about how we can guess things with a pretty solid argument for… Continue Reading →

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