Train wreck of thought

I haven’t posted in a while, obviously, and I ain’t gonna explain why because it’s more boring than you think. It’s not like I went on a fucking trip to the Bahamas despite the fact I hope to go there some day if corona ever goes away. But anyways, a lot has happened like me starting A levels, which I think is 12th grade in America, and my sister is also away to uni in a whole different fucking country. I mean I know you didn’t like me all that much but geez, I get the fucking hint.

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I also got a hair cut that is like shoulder length and made me want to cry on the first day but then when I styled it I liked it which I think is the ritual for any hair cut. Surely that is the same for guys too. I mean even I cry at some of the haircuts guys get. I mean that barber really did you dirty with that ski. You’re starting to look like Stewie Griffin from Family Guy. Do you know I also literally get a wee hairdresser that comes to my house. Not in the way where like I am so rich I hire a personal hairdresser, but as in it is cheaper and kinda just for the lols. That is totally unnecessary for you to know but it is what it is I guess.

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But my mum literally knows her from a friend who is the hairdressers friend and client and my mum is like “it’s a small world” and while I do use that phrase quite often, or at least when necessary, but like it really is incorrect. I mean it’s a small fucking country. Northern Ireland is barely a dot on the map, don’t quote me on that, and it doesn’t bug me but gets me thinking, something that flat earthers never do.

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I actually remember one time when Logan Paul posted a video of him talking to a flat earther and the whole click bate was that he believed the guy and I was like this is bullshit. Don’t worry, I have not been converted. The reason I mentioned it was because it is the perfect transition into telling you very frightening times in my life. Firstly, and I am ashamed to say it, I was someone who nearly bought Logang merch. DON’T WORRY! It is not contagious and I have got it sorted. It was a close call but I made it. I mean I was invested in his man’s life. I wanted to meet him so bad and thought he was such a cool dude. Like when he bought a massive pumpkin, I was on my knees worshipping him. Like it was not ok. I didn’t stick around long enough for him to like do that video in Japan and I think the only thing I have watched of his since is when his bird died LOL. I mean this guy makes everything into a joke. His family, his bird, his life, EVERYTHING. He did start some trends though I have to admit. Not good ones, but trends none the less.

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I think I can forgive myself for that because it was kind of inevitable for me as I was in my flat cap phase. All of my friends will instantly know what this means, but to catch you all up, it was bad. VERY bad. I thought I was so rebellious and edgy. I have this one photo that haunts me to this day. It is me on my holiday after I bought my first flat cap and I swear if you look closely enough, you can see me slowly turn into a disappointment. And again, just to clarify, I am out of that now. Well, the flat cap part, maybe not the disappointment part. I think I need to show this to my therapist

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Anyways, thank you for reading my rant and it was very random so sorry for dragging you down my train wreck of thoughts, but you got to the end now and you can have a rational thought again. As a recap, never EVER fall vulnerable to flat caps. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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I’m not above a fight

See, I don’t really like it when people are cheeky to me. I mean you can be upfront and shout at me and I’ll be fine with that. My sisters have conditioned me to that. But if you are being passive aggressive or cheeky in front of me or behind my back, I won’t hesitate … Continue reading I’m not above a fight

Makeup and Me

First of all, to the people who are in the comments right now saying “It’s makeup and I, not makeup and me” literally take you Hermione Granger ass outside or “I” will personally make Jeff Bezos land his fucking dick rocket on you. I mean would you slate Marley and Me for the grammar issue? … Continue reading Makeup and Me

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Back To School. Could I be bothered?

The answer is no, but it is also a bit more complicated than that. Do I like the first day of school where everything is new, you get the new time tables, new classes, new teachers? Yes, you could say that. But in general, I really could not be arsed to go back. Lately when I talk to my friends, they are all like “yeah I think I am ready to go back to school though and I’m ready to go back to normal school life and work”. And I’m just here like “yeah totally” but in reality I just don’t want to go back. Especially as we’ll have to do those shitty tests they make you do that really make no fucking sense. Like how do they test your smartness based of whether or not you know how many holes there will be in a folded piece of paper. Like it really is a load of shite. If I was a teacher and saw that someone couldn’t mentally fold a page into a swan or some shit, I wouldn’t be thinking he was dumb, I would think he has more important things to understand, and surprisingly origami isn’t one of them.

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I don’t know if my friends are a bunch of NERDS (jokes I love them) but they are prepared and talking about how they want to go back because we have been off so long and I just join in because I don’t want to be that one bitch that goes “I actually couldn’t give a shit if I were to never go back to school. Like I’m done with this hoe and I don’t want to start” because they would disown me. I think I’ll just go because I have nothing else to do and I don’t want to end up living at my parents house for the rest of my life and become the creepy auntie who is always way too drunk and getting way too close for comfort. And I always try to come up with these money making plans and they never turn out the way I want. I do keep going with them too be honest. I mean this blog was one of the attempts, but it is what it is and maybe some day I can drop out of school and do my own thing.

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I’m going into lower 6th, which is the second last year of high school, so it is the first voluntary year of school. So technically I don’t have to be there. I don’t really know what that is gonna do for my motivation because it could kinda be one of those situations where you are excited to do something but then when someone tells you to do it, you turn into a stubborn bitch and don’t want to do it anymore. Or maybe I just won’t try because there is no pressure of me having to go there. The one perk though is that we get a separate we area in the school that only the 6th years can go into because we are obviously the elite. And now we can be the intimidating ones that tower over all the first years and are best mates with all the teachers. Well, maybe not that last point because I am still socially awkward.

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We also only have to do 3 or 4 classes now which is good but I feel like it will still be just as much work and that makes me want to die. I picked 4 classes (chem, geo, business studies and Spanish) but I’m planning to drop one in the first month or so. It’s a good plan like so that if I find I don’t like one, most likely chemistry, I can drop it and not have to worry about it. But at the moment I can’t be arsed doing any and I’m scared I’m gonna hate them all or maybe drop the wrong one. It’s a possibility. And the first timetable I have won’t have as many study breaks and that might freak me out, but it will be fine right. It’s also gonna be so scary to tell a teacher that I want to leave their class. Like I don’t need to say it to them, but leaving implies I don’t like what they have devoted their life to. Likes like the biggest insult of all time. I am also shitting myself for the smaller classes. My Spanish class will defo be small and that is so scary because I will have to answer more and I can’t just hide in the back. What if everyone there is fucking annoying and I just have to vibe there for the next 2 years. What if we are the boring class that they hate to teach? What if I turn out to be shite at the subject?

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Maybe living in my parents house forever isn’t all that bad. Maybe I can be the fun drunk aunt who always buys the alcohol, takes you shopping, gives the best advice and shouts at your parents for doing anything other than worship us. Sounds fun like. Maybe if this blog blows up I could also just leave school but I won’t put that pressure on you guys lol. Anyways, I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Train wreck of thought

I haven’t posted in a while, obviously, and I ain’t gonna explain why because it’s more boring than you think. It’s not like I went on a fucking trip to the Bahamas despite the fact I hope to go there some day if corona ever goes away. But anyways, a lot has happened like me … Continue reading Train wreck of thought

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Do You Know What’s Weird? Everything

So I know this is quite a broad topic guys. I know what I am getting myself into. An existential crisis. But I am ready for it you know. I am ready to question life and everything there is to do about it because… to be honest, I’m bored and don’t have anything else to do, so lets go ahead and get this started together.

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Did you know that if all our empty space was taken away from out atoms, a single person would fit into a grain of sand. And did you know that if the whole universe had the space between the atoms taken away that it would fit inside a sugar cube. I mean this bitch really taking grandpa in my pocket to a whole new level. And then also, if you took an atom and made it’s nucleus into the size if a peanut, then the electrons would be the size of a fucking tennis court! I am not even joking with you guys! That is true! To be honest, I think electrons are definitely a “pick me” type of person. Like was there any need to be so large. And also take up so much fucking space. I mean what is the point of that. Does the nucleus have a bloody restriction order from the electrons because I don’t blame it, it seems like a sassy bitch. But like 99.99999999…% of an atom is just empty space but then how the fuck is everything solid. How the actual hell can we not just break things so easily. How are things bloody solid! And if the electrons, protons and neutrons are all just energy how the hell do they come to make something solid and is there some sort of connection between them that means they don’t go out of line. How do they make up everything? Yet are literally pretty much nothing. And how do we know that it is 99.99999999…% empty space? We haven’t gotten anything small enough to be able to see it, yet we literally see this as a fact.

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So many things now a days are a theory, but like surely after all this time you would have figured something out as a fact. Like we are just prepared to believe everything aren’t we. If a scientist came out and said “we are all fucking caterpillars who just haven’t turned into butterflies yet!” the world would literally eat it up. We would all go around thinking how crazy it is that we are all caterpillars and then bitches would be going around saying “oh my it all makes sense now. That is why when we die we get angel wings or devil wings” as though it was clear all along. Like the actual fuck! But then there are still people who are like “oh my god get that vaccine away from me! It contains a whole fucking laptop in it that will slowly poison me, make a clone of me, fly to the sun to their secret base and then come back home to eat the hearts of children!”. I think that is why I couldn’t be a nurse or a doctor because I would actually have to just slap them in the face and shout “you actual dumb bitch. You update your fucking Facebook friends every time you take a shit so obviously you aren’t that private. I’m going to have to call a cleaner for all the crap that just came out of your mouth. Why the fuck would we want to track your boring ass anyways? So we can see how long it takes to get to the manager’s office, Karen?! Huh! Don’t flatter yourself bitch”. Wow that went off topic a bit

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What other things are kinda weird? Hmm, well I guess this is kinda the same thing but like the beginning of the universe and I guess the universe now. I mean you are telling me that all the mass that has ever been in the universe or ever will be has been here since the very beginning of time. I was there (well, I mean my atoms were) and you and everyone else. The floor you stand on the air you breathe and we were all confined withing a dense ball that just happened to be here somehow. Like how did that mass just happen to become a thing and if matter can’t be created or destroyed then how was it created in the first place?! Answer me that science. Oh and I would like to say that I am not saying this from a religious perspective, it really just boggles my mind. But moving on, like how did it just burst one day and what was it in? What did it burst into? What is outside the walls of the universe? How do we know that the universe is still expanding? Is someone out there looking? Because what if you get to the end and then you are like “what the fuck do we do now?” like are you expecting there to be a door or some guy just walks out like “shit I didn’t think you would get here so early” and then just restart the universe. And what I also have to admit is that, if the world was a whole simulation, I couldn’t give a shit. Like who cares. Nothing else will really change. And if my life happened to be the Truman show, I also wouldn’t care. I mean that would be pretty cool. Everyone knows me, everyone (hopefully) likes me, and most likely I won’t even become broke because they want to make good TV not just a bum on the street. I mean I hardly doubt it is but like what’s the big problem?

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So yeah, I guess that is a bit of it. I am sure you know that this isn’t all of everything so I might have to make another post about this on a later date, but, for now, my 99.99999999% empty space, atom made, universe old, Truman show ass is tired, so I will see you later I guess. Don’t forget to like, follow and comment if you liked this type of content. I also just wanted to mention that, if you want, I mean you obviously don’t have to lol, there is a wee space below where you can like donate money to my blog so that I can keep doing this type of stuff in the future. Anything helps, but like if you don’t want to give a stranger money, that’s fine, but maybe you could leave a like or something. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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Guess Whose Back!

Bro, obviously it’s me but I just needed something a bit more exciting as the title because I don’t think many people would click on “Sorry I have posted the last few days, I was busy” so yeah, if you guessed right then well done, but if not then I hope for you sake that this is the first time reading my blog. I don’t really know what I am going to talk about in this blog but I promised myself that I would post something today because I haven’t posted in a while and I feel like, as a very very professional business woman, it is not in my optimal interest that I do not expel a writing into the world of the internet. I really hope you guys know that was a joke and that I am not some sort of business bitch with a stick up my ass. So yeah, I just thought I shouldn’t leave my blog posts so far apart.

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If you were wanting an explanation for why I wasn’t posting, it is because it was my birthday and because of corona and all that crap I couldn’t have all of my friends over at once so I kinda split it up into groups. I know that makes me sound like a proper popular bitch, but the truth is I am not and it is just because my mum rented me and my twin a hot tub and we couldn’t have a lot of people in it, and the corona thing of course. Also my question is, why do I always try to reassure people that I am not popular. I mean is it because I think it makes me look more ‘relatable’? I don’t think so. Is it because I think a lot of popular people are as fake as Nicki Minaj’s ass, or as toxic as my last relationship? Maybe. But I do find myself doing that a lot which kind of also makes me seem like one of those ‘pick me’ bitches who wants to seem so #relatable. Anyways, that is a bit off top, except there was no topic so really it was off. But off what? If it isn’t off anything then it wasn’t on anything so then it is nothing, so I guess this whole paragraph isn’t off topic so that’s good.

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For my birthday my mum got me 2 driving lessons with the young drivers things and I have to say I am quite buzzing because I have asked my mum for ages if I can even just turn on the car and she was like “no” every time. I am pretty certain that she has like trauma from teaching my older sister and isn’t quite prepared to have to teach 2 at the same time, so that isn’t the best for me I guess. I don’t blame her though, I mean even now that my sister got her license I am terrified because her road rage is… let’s just say it could start WW3, so yeah. Those trips are fun :/ But like mum why would you develop 2 people in your womb if you couldn’t teach them both to drive? I mean were you not thinking about that?! Absolutely raging. I don’t mind though, except I kinda do, but like I am not even at the legal age to get my license, so I suppose I shouldn’t be complaining, but I am to you guys so enjoy that I suppose. I wonder what the people in the young drivers thing are like. Are they super relaxed and are ready to crash into some sort of building, or do they have so much anxiety of a minor driving a car for the first time that they ensure absolutely nothing happens. What if they have road rage like my sister? I couldn’t be dealing. I also have this thing where I have to say every little thing I am about to do when I am learning something and it is quite embarrassing to be honest. It isn’t until I have perfected it that I stop and even then, if someone is watching, I do it. Like in Ju-Jitsu, whenever I learned a new throw or something, I would be like “ok so punch and then block and turn around, foot there, arm, lean forward, throw, grab wrist and punch ok ” Like I whisper it under my breath so it isn’t even that but what if I sound insane like I am talking to someone and then the instructor is just like “what the fuck” and huddling in the corner just staring at me. I also go really red whenever I do something wrong or am with any living being so he will either think I have stopped breathing, turning into the devil, or turning into baby jack jack from the incredible’s. But it will be fun right?!

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Anyways, this post kinda went all over the place, but like I think I might start the podcast I had been talking about because it is much easier to ramble on when you talk than with a computer and it also makes you seem less like a psychopath. I keep saying that I will but then nobody even says anything so I don’t know if you just don’t give a shit or what but I have a tendency to not doing something until someone else agrees with it or replies in a positive way so like if you think I should start a podcast, defo go ahead and comment because I am quite messed up mentally. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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Go read some more…

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