Who Else Is Pissed At Forrest Gump’s Mum?

Bitch, I don’t know much about this movie. I mean I’ve watched it and I know the general plot but like the only thing that sticks with me to this day and the phrase that every organism is aware of is when he says “mama says life is like a box a chocolates, you neve’ know what ya gonna get”. What they didn’t specify is the brand the box of chocolates is. This saying basically isn’t motivational to me anymore because I feel like I’ve been given a box of Rose’s chocolates (aka the worst box of chocolates ever) and while I may not always know what I’m gonna get, I know they are all gonna be crap. So to whoever the fuck Gump’s mum is, you need to pick a better quote because that one didn’t help me a bit.

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I mean maybe at first you will be like “I’ve had a few shit ones so far but that surely means I’ll get a great one in no time!” but then after a while you kinda catch on and your like “why the fuck is all of this crap. I quite literally think that chocolate was a pile of dirt. What brand is this anyways? *turns box over* oh for fuck sake it’s a fucking box of roses. WHY WOULD ANYONE BUY THIS SHIT”. I would just like to mention that this isn’t a dig on people who like those chocolates but I just want to say, who hurt you? I mean seriously why do you like them. They are literally a selection of the worst chocolates from all the other elite boxes of chocolate out there. To be fair I haven’t had one in a while but that is because the first one I ever had quite literally tasted like soap so in the context of Forrest Gump’s quote, it was my first traumatizing experience. It kinda is like Turkish delight.

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I have another problem with movie directors and food. Why the hell did they have to make Turkish delight in the Narnia movie look so good. Like he was munching away and I was looking at it like it was my mission in life to try it and taste how good it looks. But then the first time I took a bite, my whole perception of the movie was flipped upside down. He betrayed me. He led to this very moment of me eating this shit. It is literal soap but he makes it look like a proper feast. I think that is where I developed trust issues. It affected me as a person and it has changed me to this day. I can’t look him in the eye anymore when I watch the movie because I just know he is a slithery snake. The thing is though that some people absolutely love that shit. Both roses and Turkish delight and, while I would say they are unstable, it also makes me think that, although my life may be terrible, at least it isn’t so bad that the taste of roses and Turkish delight is better than other things in my life. Just think of that for a second.

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Again, I can’t stress enough that this is a joke and not to attack anyone who like either of these things… well maybe a bit! Jokes, jokes :)…. 😐 But yeah I feel as though somebody had to address it because it is a serious issue and we need to educate our kids that the things we see online aren’t always real. Not all that food is good and we need to protect them from the false tastes that are shown to us everyday. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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