Growing up: Expectations vs. Reality

I know that title makes me sound like I’m fucking ancient or some shit but like I am only 16. To be fair though this is me nearly becoming an adult and like is one of the biggest changes in life so I suppose I can talk about growing up. The difference between me now and me 5 years ago is astronomical. For example, I wouldn’t have been able to use astronomical in a sentence. We all grow in pretty weird ways despite the fact it is usually normal. I suppose we all reach the same point eventually but like each journey to get there is so different. So before I start getting into deep shit, lets just talk about some things that have shocked me, surprised me, met my expectations and disappointed me. And don’t forget to comment below some of the things you think I missed because it will be interesting to hear if anyone feels the same way or if I just over-think things way to much.

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One thing that I thought I would have by the time I was 16 or something was… a life. No, I’m joking, but also not but no, I thought I would have an idea of what the fuck I wanted to do with my life. I mean I think I had my life sorted out more when I was 10 than I do now because so much has changed and I have no fucking clue anymore. Like I always wanted to be a police woman and I still do but like also what the fuck?! Like what if I am crap at it, or what if I could have found the fucking cure for cancer but now I am just giving speeding tickets. Obviously police do a lot more than that and I really respect their work, but just to make a point. And I mean I don’t think that if I become a police woman that I will have that big of an impact on the world. I don’t mean that in a way that I want to be fucking famous but I would like to be remembered as someone who did something amazing that saved so many people’s lives. And while that sounds good and better than an office job, I don’t really want to have to work by a time table and for someone else who I might not be able to argue with if I think what they are doing is wrong. Like what if they are racist or some shit? It’s just difficult because there are pros and cons for every job but like it’s trying to weigh up how much the pros mean to you and how you will be affected by the cons.

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I had actually tried to start a business, like just a dropshipping business, but like I always get distracted. I literally started this blog to get my voice out there and, as you know, I haven’t been posting much. The thing is I get distracted by things that seem better that will get me places quicker, but look at me now. In the same exact fucking place as last year. Didn’t make money online, apart from a few online surveys, and although I do have all of you guys and the support has been amazing, I feel like I have failed in some way. That’s another thing about growing up that has kind of shocked me, or at least I new it was coming but never really thought it would be such a big thing. Failure. I have had a pretty fucked up life and maybe if I actually stuck to something I would be in a different position, but I didn’t so I’m not and I guess that’s fine. Like I am still young even though I am growing up so there is still time left.

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Kind of linking back to that last sentence, I never thought that I would feel as though there were time limits on life. I mean we all die and that is the main one, but I never thought about the fact that there are stages in life that you go through and in those stages there is almost a to-do list both with things that society has added, and ones you add yourself. For example, something on my list that I feel society has made more urgent is finding a significant other or going to uni, working, figuring out what the fuck I am doing and plan to do for the rest of my life. And some that I have added on myself are stuff like travelling and getting all the fun stuff out of the way before I have to start into “the real world” which gets closer and closer every day. I feel as though I have a timer ticking inside my head making me think that these are supposed to be the best years of my life but I am wasting them by doing literally nothing so when I grow up and maybe have kids and a stable job, I will regret my life and that I will never actually do anything beneficial or impactful. Do you know what I mean by that? Do I just sound crazy. I feel as though I only have a few years to live my life and then afterwards I need to live a life of always waiting forward to the weekend, but when it is the weekend I dread the week to come. Like once you start a job, that is your life until you retire, and then when you retire you may be lucky enough to travel but you’ll also be exhausted and unable to do some of the things that I should be doing now.

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That got really deep really fast so I hope I am not giving anyone an existential crisis, but I really do hope at least one person relates to this. Obviously I am still young, and mentally unstable, so I don’t really know what I am talking about so feel free to comment below what your thoughts are and maybe what you are scared for in the future. I’ll probably have to do another post about this in the future because it was actually kind of fun. Especially know that I know how to type properly so it is so much quicker and satisfying to get what I am thinking down because that shit changes quickly and when it’s gone it’s gone. But yeah, I am planning to focus on this blog from now on and you better make sure I stick to it because no matter what, I would love this blog to work and stay open for as long as I possibly can. Make sure you like, comment and follow so that you can stay updated about all the post I make that are going to be freaking awesome! I hope you have great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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I’m not above a fight

See, I don’t really like it when people are cheeky to me. I mean you can be upfront and shout at me and I’ll be fine with that. My sisters have conditioned me to that. But if you are being passive aggressive or cheeky in front of me or behind my back, I won’t hesitate to fight.

No this isn’t coming out of the blue guys, but something I did yesterday kinda got my blood boiling if you get me. Anyways, here I was at my friend’s house for moral support because I was about to call my work and be like “hey girl so for medical and educational reasons I’m not gonna be able to work more than 8 hours a week but obviously I can work more on holidays thanks”, and here my manager does the longest sigh ever, literally I could almost smell her stinking breathe it was that loud, and I was like shit what is about to happen. Then this bitch really stops the sigh and goes “that’s not really helpful for us”

😮 Did I ask?! No I think the fuck I didn’t so why the hell did you have to say that. Would you prefer I didn’t work any hours? Do you want me to quit because I’ll be more than happy to get out of this bitch. Like I actually don’t even like work. When I tell you I was shocked, I mean I was back-from-war-tazer-in-the-back shocked. I still am at the moment tbh.

But anyways, after that, I paused because I was in denial at that stage or something and then I was just like “Ummm well… It’s for medical reasons as well” because my doctor told me to say that so she legally couldn’t fire me for it (I also wouldn’t care if she did because then id use and never have to work again, I’m not too proud to miss that opportunity bitch) and here she was acting all nice again, miss cheeky bitch tryna get on my good side again. Like I actually have to go to work with her today and if she comes up to me and starts talking shit, I will happily throw hands. I mean I’m terrified of her too, let’s not get ahead of ourselves, but she barely knows me and doesn’t know how hard I can hit. BTW this is a joke don’t be calling the police

Anyways yeah that happened and it really made me realise how much I HATE, despise, loath, work. Do I get paid minimum wages to only get a 20 min break during illegal hours?! I think the fuck not. Like I have enough money saved to get my ass out of that hoe and I only stay cause I want my parents to be proud of me lol. But you have to admit what she said was petty uncalled for. Like it was not necessary. I actually despise the working world and it sucks the little bit of life and dignity inside of me.

So what do you guys reckon I should do? Quit or just realise that this is life. Also if anyone is like a law person, is there any way I could use for doing illegal hours with only a 20 minute break. I mean that would be ideal lol. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Train wreck of thought

I haven’t posted in a while, obviously, and I ain’t gonna explain why because it’s more boring than you think. It’s not like I went on a fucking trip to the Bahamas despite the fact I hope to go there some day if corona ever goes away. But anyways, a lot has happened like me … Continue reading Train wreck of thought

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Sleepover Games Are Sh!t | Let’s Discuss It

Now, I can’t really talk for the guys on this topic because, being a girl, I have never been to a guys sleepover and no matter how old I am, my mother will never ever let me go to one. So if this is different for guys, if you even play sleepover games, do please comment below. I also want you to know that I am not talking about games as in COD or whatever the fuck it is you play now. I’m talking about the generic games like “would you rather” or “truth or dare”. NEVER pillow fights or some shit that movies make you think we do. It is not stylish at all. Not for me anyways. I sit in my baggiest clothes with my hair in a mess and a half dried facemask on that looks like I’ve got a weird skin infection. Not the nicest image is it lads?

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My thing with sleepover games is that they literally never end up the way you want them to. Like the person who is always like “omg lets play a game” obviously has something to say. It might just be they know something we havent told them or they want to get our attention. Like they’d be like

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Person 1 – “ok, let’s play truth or dare! Sarah, truth or dare”
Sarah – “mmm, dare”
P 1 – are you sure? I think I heard that you have to do a truth and then…
Sarah – nope, I’m picking a dare
P 1 – ok fine then. I DARE you to tell me why the fuck you were sleeping with my boyfriend!

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This isn’t talking from experience but like I know that it is like this for others. And even if it isn’t being played to attack someone, nobody ever has any fucking idea what to ask. Like we really only have one question and it either ends in 10 minute breaks between people asking the “would you rather” or you would be searching some up on google only to find that basically nobody on the internet knows any either. Sure you can find a few, but they are either so fucking bad that I would rather watch Riverdale, or so inappropriate that I could imagine a literally creepy old man writing them. Like I am comfortable around my friends but what the actual fuck is that.

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I can never think of questions and even when I do, depending on the game, I can’t even play it fairly because my twin is always in my friend group. So if I were to play 2 truths and a lie, I would only be able to play on certain ones and even then one of us might give it away or call me out for not telling the whole thing perfectly. It do be a problem and I remember in 1st year when we would do all the ice breaker shit and we did the 2 truths and a lie and when either of us was saying ours, the other would feel like such a main character. Just try to imagine a 13 year old smiling way to much trying to see if anyone notices that she knows the answer and can’t even play on this round. I felt so elite and would stare out the window as though it was such a struggle to exist under these rules where I couldn’t even participate in getting to know everyone. It’s hilarious to think back on but now, if we ever do it, it is annoying as fuck and if the teacher is like “oh, make sure you don’t give it away lol” I will quite literally leave the school.

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And I don’t know if this is just my friend group but like it always ends in us all having a really heart felt moment where we are all just letting out our deepest darkest secrets. It basically goes like this

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P1 – Never have I ever… peed in the woods
*everyone laughs*
P2 – OH MY DAYS you are sooooo silly
P3 – I don’t even want to answer that LOL

*1 hour later*

P2 – Never have I ever felt happiness since the day I saw my cat get run over
*drowning in tears*
P1 – I get you. We are here for you
P3 – Does it count if it was my nan instead of a cat?

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I do like that though because you get to know everyone better and it feels natural. Again having a twin makes that more awkward especially if you are talking about relationships because you don’t want to hear about their life outside of your world. Like it doesn’t sit right and it never will. Or like if you are talking about how you found something difficult and you tell a story, the other might be like “you are so dramatic that wasn’t even that bad” and they go on to say what happened despite the fact you both see things differently. And then afterwards it’s kind of like when you say bye to someone but then your car is in the same direction so it’s really awkward. I mean we literally did just expose ourselves and now I just have to see her every time I open my doors and it is awkward for a bit.

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Anyway, that is kinda what I had to say. If you have anything else that you would like to comment or add to this post, please do leave a comment because I love hearing from you guys. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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I’m not above a fight

See, I don’t really like it when people are cheeky to me. I mean you can be upfront and shout at me and I’ll be fine with that. My sisters have conditioned me to that. But if you are being passive aggressive or cheeky in front of me or behind my back, I won’t hesitate … Continue reading I’m not above a fight

Makeup and Me

First of all, to the people who are in the comments right now saying “It’s makeup and I, not makeup and me” literally take you Hermione Granger ass outside or “I” will personally make Jeff Bezos land his fucking dick rocket on you. I mean would you slate Marley and Me for the grammar issue? … Continue reading Makeup and Me

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Back To School. Could I be bothered?

The answer is no, but it is also a bit more complicated than that. Do I like the first day of school where everything is new, you get the new time tables, new classes, new teachers? Yes, you could say that. But in general, I really could not be arsed to go back. Lately when I talk to my friends, they are all like “yeah I think I am ready to go back to school though and I’m ready to go back to normal school life and work”. And I’m just here like “yeah totally” but in reality I just don’t want to go back. Especially as we’ll have to do those shitty tests they make you do that really make no fucking sense. Like how do they test your smartness based of whether or not you know how many holes there will be in a folded piece of paper. Like it really is a load of shite. If I was a teacher and saw that someone couldn’t mentally fold a page into a swan or some shit, I wouldn’t be thinking he was dumb, I would think he has more important things to understand, and surprisingly origami isn’t one of them.

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I don’t know if my friends are a bunch of NERDS (jokes I love them) but they are prepared and talking about how they want to go back because we have been off so long and I just join in because I don’t want to be that one bitch that goes “I actually couldn’t give a shit if I were to never go back to school. Like I’m done with this hoe and I don’t want to start” because they would disown me. I think I’ll just go because I have nothing else to do and I don’t want to end up living at my parents house for the rest of my life and become the creepy auntie who is always way too drunk and getting way too close for comfort. And I always try to come up with these money making plans and they never turn out the way I want. I do keep going with them too be honest. I mean this blog was one of the attempts, but it is what it is and maybe some day I can drop out of school and do my own thing.

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I’m going into lower 6th, which is the second last year of high school, so it is the first voluntary year of school. So technically I don’t have to be there. I don’t really know what that is gonna do for my motivation because it could kinda be one of those situations where you are excited to do something but then when someone tells you to do it, you turn into a stubborn bitch and don’t want to do it anymore. Or maybe I just won’t try because there is no pressure of me having to go there. The one perk though is that we get a separate we area in the school that only the 6th years can go into because we are obviously the elite. And now we can be the intimidating ones that tower over all the first years and are best mates with all the teachers. Well, maybe not that last point because I am still socially awkward.

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We also only have to do 3 or 4 classes now which is good but I feel like it will still be just as much work and that makes me want to die. I picked 4 classes (chem, geo, business studies and Spanish) but I’m planning to drop one in the first month or so. It’s a good plan like so that if I find I don’t like one, most likely chemistry, I can drop it and not have to worry about it. But at the moment I can’t be arsed doing any and I’m scared I’m gonna hate them all or maybe drop the wrong one. It’s a possibility. And the first timetable I have won’t have as many study breaks and that might freak me out, but it will be fine right. It’s also gonna be so scary to tell a teacher that I want to leave their class. Like I don’t need to say it to them, but leaving implies I don’t like what they have devoted their life to. Likes like the biggest insult of all time. I am also shitting myself for the smaller classes. My Spanish class will defo be small and that is so scary because I will have to answer more and I can’t just hide in the back. What if everyone there is fucking annoying and I just have to vibe there for the next 2 years. What if we are the boring class that they hate to teach? What if I turn out to be shite at the subject?

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Maybe living in my parents house forever isn’t all that bad. Maybe I can be the fun drunk aunt who always buys the alcohol, takes you shopping, gives the best advice and shouts at your parents for doing anything other than worship us. Sounds fun like. Maybe if this blog blows up I could also just leave school but I won’t put that pressure on you guys lol. Anyways, I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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I Got My Results and I Feel…

I got my GCSE results yesterday and to be honest, I feel the same fucking way I felt last week. I mean there was no big sigh of relief or weight off my shoulders. I didn’t turn ecstatic, it was just another part of my day. Like it was literally just reading letters on a page. I did really well so it isn’t like my marks were the problem, but I just remember when I was in my first year and you would see all the old ones getting ready for GCSEs and getting the results later on and I would think they were the coolest people and it must be such a great time to see how you have done, but like I don’t know if it is because of corona or something, but it doesn’t seem that big. Like, it hasn’t affected me a lot and I never really was that worked up about it even before. I may have acted like it because everyone else was so excited but I didn’t really feel any different. It makes me sound ungrateful and I know that but it is true. It just doesn’t seem like such a big deal to me.

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Please, if someone got their results in the last few days, tell me if this is the same for you because I feel like it was a total anticlimax and I thought that something big was gonna happen and obviously it didn’t. Were my expectations too high? Was I too tired? Did I just not care? I mean even today, it is all in the past. You just move on. I don’t look at my grades and think of the great future I can have and how successful I can become with careers and shit. Like it was quite literally just a bunch of letters. That sounds like it was a really inspirational moment as well, as though it put everything into perspective, but it was just nothing you know.

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I also get awkward as fuck whenever people ask me what I got because I did well and I don’t want people to feel worse if they didn’t get what I did but still did awesomely and then I would look like that bitch feeling nothing for their results but overhyping their results. So I kinda just say I did well unless they specifically ask me what I got. It do be like that sometimes I guess. And my results are quite literally in among a pile of rubbish in my room and I know where they are like. They aren’t actually in the bin, but I always expected them to be like up on the fridge or like in a picture frame, but it is just there and I don’t give a shit about it.

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I called my granny on the day to tell her what I got and I swear she was more excited than me. Obviously, she wouldn’t be like “Ok?” and hang the phone up, but like I was just like yup. I didn’t fit the vibe check to say it in other terms. It was one of those moments where you are like “what now?”. I expect that to happen when I finish A levels or uni, if I even go, because what happens after you pass and everyone is like “well done” because you just go home and the world keeps spinning. Nobody else in the world is affected or knows of it and some people feel like their whole life has changed for good, but there are people just having a normal day. Seriously though, what did you do after graduating from university? Did you just go home and make yourself something to eat as usual? Did you wake up the next morning and have nothing much to do? I mean you have to start thinking about jobs and shit and actually making a living. It’s kind of just like another level of a game, just glorified. And I know this is probably dragging everyone done if they had a great day yesterday, but for me, that is how I feel. Just the same.

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I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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The Olympics: Awkwardness Unlocked

So I was just watching the opening ceremony or the Olympics and I’m sorry but like how awkward would that be. Especially for the people that work there and just wave as they walk down and have to act as though people are watching them but like really nobody is. And then the actual athletes are walking down having to look hype and they have just worked all of their lives to get to this very moment that they might never have again and are now walking through an empty stadium with a bunch of people who are more focused on fucking demolishing you than they are actually interested in you. I especially feel bad for the countries that literally have 2 people in their group and they are always pretty much socially distancing themselves from each other. I mean surely if you only had that person in your team you would be pretty close or at least tolerate each other.

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Don’t get me wrong, what they are doing is absolutely awesome and I would never be able to get to that point but I would be pretty pissed if nobody was watching or cheering me on because that would really boost the ego. I guess that is unless you literally suck at it and land on your face when running or something. Even though you know millions of people are watching at home, it would be less embarrassing than thousands of people seeing you knock yourself out by tripping over your bloody laces. I think that at some points I would get so used to having nobody physically there watching me and I would end up doing something really embarrassing like singing and dancing to myself in the mirror and then I look next to me and there is a camera man absolutely pissing himself knowing he is gonna get bank for this. I would also have to do a few wee office moments where like if I didn’t win I would do a cheeky wee unbothered Jim side eye. I would also get so distracted by them and I know that they will always be there even when corona is a thing, but like now they are the only other things in the room and my short attention span would actually make me forget where I was and then I’d get a volleyball to the head or some shit.

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I would also get embarrassed because you know when they are doing the national anthem and they are proper looking in the sky while the cameras are going along a line videoing them and they are always so emotional but like I probably would be singing the wrong words or like feel as though I need to look at the camera and I would turn into some sort of meme with the caption “that creepy kid in the restaurant that keeps staring at you”. That isn’t even a joke. Do you reckon that they actually have to practice the national anthem or they already know it because I only know the first section of mine and then from their I am either bored as shit or just moving my lips but not making a noise. They probably do though. I actually do think that I would be trying hard not to laugh because I’ll just remember that one woman that absolutely butchered the American anthem because, although it isn’t my country’s anthem, it is absolutely fucking hilarious.

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I have to say, she isn’t a bad singer, she obviously got some skills but like for fuck sake, where was the need. Like honestly love. I wonder if she watched this back and was like why the fuck? Was she on crack or did she just love a cheeky wee remix. And the players where near pissing themselves. They did pretty good though because I know i’d be dying in the background. I kind of want to make this my alarm in the morning so I can wake up with great vibes. They aren’t lacking you gotta admit. And then at the end she was like “let’s play some basketball!” as though she really did something. Miss ma’am, you just slam dunked that anthem into the pits of hell, this ain’t no masterpiece bitch.

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This post got a bit off topic I think, but I guess what I wanted to say was that I feel bad for the Olympians this year and I hope they have a great time and sleep well on their cardboard beds. I also hope they get another chance next time so they can have the whole experience. Apparently it’s in Paris next time so I might have to have a wee scoot over because it ain’t a long flight from where I live. Maybe I’ll have a cheeky croissant or have a hot girl summer with the french dudes. But no matter what, and I mean no matter what, I am not gonna do the fucking tourist picture shit with the Eiffel tower. Did you know somebody actually married the Eiffel tower?! NO JOKE.

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And on that note, I will see you tomorrow. Thanks for being patient with my posts guys because I been kind of a busy bitch lately with work and all that going on. It’s a hard not life for a working woman who also hates being around anything and anyone 🙂 So yeah I’ll hopefully talk tomorrow and please don’t forget to subscribe so that you don’t miss the next one because I know you are gonna want to read it. I don’t know what it is yet but I know it’s gonna be great. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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It’s All About Perspective

Ok guys, we aren’t about to get into some existential shit today because I don’t think I can take that at the moment, but I guess it kinda will be but like to a certain extent, so kinda just be warned about that but lets get started into it. This is another weekly reminder post but I am going to make it around the same vibe as my other posts because I find it hard to… write like I care. That sounds really mean but what I mean by that is that I struggle to not cringe when I try to write a post in an empathetic tone. I know I am disappointing my English teacher at the moment but like I don’t give a shit anyways. So sorry if you prefer reading things that are kinda sad, but I use humor to cope despite the fact my humor is crap so that isn’t the best but like we move. I also don’t know why I am typing all of this because I can guarantee that you don’t give a fuck. But yeah, I feel that when I try to write a post with an empathetic tone, I sound so fake, kinda like all the people in my school. Lets get into it anyways

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I saw this TikTok video yesterday and it was this girl that was replying to a comment that said “how are you so confident” and if I knew who that girl was I would shout her out but I don’t so like deal with it, but anyways, she was so… como se dice… perfect. Like she was a nice confident where she is outgoing but wouldn’t be like “fuck you” to every person who breathes near her. Anyways, that is besides the point, but she literally just said “because nobody fucking cares! In a couple of hundred years everyone on this earth will literally be dead and nobody will remember that thing you said or the clothes you wore or anything because it won’t carry on once we all die”. I mean unless you do something so awful like a proper historical downfall, you shouldn’t change for anyone. Like that person you are changing yourself for is gonna die and so are you so why are you trying to do something for them when eventually it won’t matter at all and you should live the life that you want when you have it.

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I always get a wee bit scared when I talk about doing whatever you want because it won’t mean shit in the future because I always feel people are going to use that as a reason for like killing someone or just doing something awful because “it won’t matter” but like don’t think I am saying that. I don’t want to be responsible for murder, but like you know what I mean. It is the things like caring what other people think about you and stuff like that. Trying to make others happy before yourself and that shit. We are all guilty of doing this and that’s fine because that is what we have learned and it isn’t our fault, but it is also ok because we can fix it, as long as it is for yourself. That is kinda why I like being single at this stage. I mean having someone that actually likes you must be nice, but I like the fact that I am free to fully figure myself out and think about myself as an individual and if a relationship comes from that then it is perfect. But from past experiences I know that having a partner can be kinda restrictive and, at least in my position, I always changed myself to be perfect for him and to not be myself. Maybe if you have a healthy relationship then that is different, but you need to think carefully about who you are with.

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And also, literally if that person remembers it for the rest of their life, maybe they laugh about how you panicked in a school play until the day they die, then that is only one life and you should move on with it because they will die one day and that is it. It won’t become a family tradition to carry on this story. And the embarrassing thing you did, you aren’t the first person to do that. I mean the earth is millions of years old and even in just the past 100 years, there have probably been millions of people that have done the same as you. What you also need to remind yourself is that if someone actually does hang onto that one thing you did ages ago and makes fun of it, they have no fucking life. I mean would a person who actually mattered focus on that thing everyday or would they move on with life and all the opportunities they will come to have. And the people who remember it and therefore have no life, shouldn’t worry you because it doesn’t make you less than them and you know the only reason they remember that is because they have made it their whole personality trait and that is the only bit of information they can actually keep in their pea sized brain.

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So yeah, I hope this boosted your confidence in some way and that you can come to terms with the reality of life and how eventually, just like humans, rumors will die. Stories die and you aren’t weird or dumb for what you did. But yeah, just don’t give a shit and you will be good I guess. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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I Hate Genes

To any foetus child out there who is like what the fuck are genes, basically they are the characteristics that we get from our parents and they make up who we are and what we look like. For example, I inherited my dad’s white ass Irish skin which burns like a bitch whenever a bloody … Continue reading I Hate Genes

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What To Expect When Starting High School – Story Time Part 4

I remember in P7, the last year of primary school, for those who don’t live in the UK, me and my friends were like ‘I can’t wait to start high school and then we will be so grown up, we can revise and not be bored all the time’. Yes I literally said it will be fun to revise because I won’t be so bored all the time. I mean that is next level ignorance. Just like… what the hell was I bloody thinking because I would do anything to never have to revise again. So today’s ‘what to expect’ I am going to debunk some of the expectations I had when I was in primary school.

Revision

Let’s dive a wee bit deeper into this one. So, as you just read, I was looking forward to revision because I thought I would feel mature and not waste time. No. Just no. Revision humbles you so quickly. You will realise that you have no fucking clue what the hell you are supposed to do. You will find out that you have no clue how to revise, no clue what the hell is happening in class, and no clue how to concentrate. Me, someone in 5th year of school, who is supposed to do their GCSEs, some of the most important exams in their life, still doesn’t know how they revise best. I mean in 1st year they try to teach you different ways to revise and literally batter you if you try to just rewrite your notes. I mean what the hell am I supposed to do. I can’t memorise 1000 bloody mnemonics for every bloody subject. Warning though, you will be told the weirdest rhymes and maybe the will work for you, they sometimes work for me but they are literally such a joke. I will literally be in the exam saying ‘Jane Found An Old Lady In The Bin’. As if I am not distracted enough, now I have these weird images in my head.

Maturity

When you go into high school in 1st year, promise me, you will feel like the bees knees. It is a big jump like and you feel like you are the ones who are ‘2 cool 4 school’. NO. Just NOOOOO. To everyone else you are a literal foetus and you are basically the wee children that your mum forces you to hang out with because she is drinking wine with the mums. You yourself will feel mature as hell but trust me, you aren’t. When you get older you will look at the first years and die inside because you realise you were once one of them. It is such a gross feeling. Just because you walk around for your next class doesn’t mean you are top notch. And it is so annoying when people just act as though they earned their place just for being in 1st year, when in reality everyone just thinks you are obnoxious. You have to realise that you are still young, and that is fine, but just realise that these people have been there longer than you and don’t need you to act as though you rule the place.

High School Musical

I don’t know if this is true for American school, but in the UK, the ‘team spirit’ is none existent. I always thought that everyone in your year would be so close and best mates. No. School life is not all rainbows and butterflies. The school building is most likely falling apart as we speak. It quite literally is like a prison. Grey walls, rows of chairs and tables, people shouting and fighting. The canteen is like a war zone. Their is no room for dancing or singing and if there was, you would be beat up, possibly by the teachers. Sometimes there are moments in school and everyone can relate to each other. But this is very rare and can sometimes still be a divided place. Like when their is a rugby match you are all allowed to watch, or if they do a charity colour run. But again, this doesn’t always happen and you should be careful. And it is so funny in high school musical because like Sharpay will have her locker all decorated and wears extravagant clothes and over the top stationary. You know what, I dare you to bring that stuff in, that will be so hilarious. Well, for me. Just don’t decorate your locker. And if you have one or two pieces of ‘original’ stationary then that’s OK but just don’t come in with a literal fluffy pencil or something like that.

Concentration

Nah, I am not talking about the hand game ‘concentration’. I am talking about the most difficult thing to do. I always thought that the hour long lesson would go by so quickly because it is all different subjects and it will be interesting stuff. Damn, I really was dumb as fuck LOL. This is true for some subjects though, only if you like them, but for others, as soon as you step into the classroom, your mind will switch on and any time they want you to do some actual work, it will be one of the hardest things to do. I have never actually fallen asleep in class myself but I know a lot of people who have and to be honest I don’t blame you. Especially for classes that literally will not help you in the future in any way. The first couple of days are fine because you are just settling in and doing absolute fuck all but then your motivation will literally die. You will have to kind of just get over it but if you do kind of just zone out, let it happen because I mean it do be like that sometimes.

Thank you so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed this part of the series. Please like, follow, and donate some money if you can so that I can keep all of my content free for everyone. You should check out some of discounts too and an app I found for making money because you will quickly discover that you are broke in high school. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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