The Olympics: Awkwardness Unlocked

So I was just watching the opening ceremony or the Olympics and I’m sorry but like how awkward would that be. Especially for the people that work there and just wave as they walk down and have to act as though people are watching them but like really nobody is. And then the actual athletes are walking down having to look hype and they have just worked all of their lives to get to this very moment that they might never have again and are now walking through an empty stadium with a bunch of people who are more focused on fucking demolishing you than they are actually interested in you. I especially feel bad for the countries that literally have 2 people in their group and they are always pretty much socially distancing themselves from each other. I mean surely if you only had that person in your team you would be pretty close or at least tolerate each other.

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Don’t get me wrong, what they are doing is absolutely awesome and I would never be able to get to that point but I would be pretty pissed if nobody was watching or cheering me on because that would really boost the ego. I guess that is unless you literally suck at it and land on your face when running or something. Even though you know millions of people are watching at home, it would be less embarrassing than thousands of people seeing you knock yourself out by tripping over your bloody laces. I think that at some points I would get so used to having nobody physically there watching me and I would end up doing something really embarrassing like singing and dancing to myself in the mirror and then I look next to me and there is a camera man absolutely pissing himself knowing he is gonna get bank for this. I would also have to do a few wee office moments where like if I didn’t win I would do a cheeky wee unbothered Jim side eye. I would also get so distracted by them and I know that they will always be there even when corona is a thing, but like now they are the only other things in the room and my short attention span would actually make me forget where I was and then I’d get a volleyball to the head or some shit.

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I would also get embarrassed because you know when they are doing the national anthem and they are proper looking in the sky while the cameras are going along a line videoing them and they are always so emotional but like I probably would be singing the wrong words or like feel as though I need to look at the camera and I would turn into some sort of meme with the caption “that creepy kid in the restaurant that keeps staring at you”. That isn’t even a joke. Do you reckon that they actually have to practice the national anthem or they already know it because I only know the first section of mine and then from their I am either bored as shit or just moving my lips but not making a noise. They probably do though. I actually do think that I would be trying hard not to laugh because I’ll just remember that one woman that absolutely butchered the American anthem because, although it isn’t my country’s anthem, it is absolutely fucking hilarious.

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I have to say, she isn’t a bad singer, she obviously got some skills but like for fuck sake, where was the need. Like honestly love. I wonder if she watched this back and was like why the fuck? Was she on crack or did she just love a cheeky wee remix. And the players where near pissing themselves. They did pretty good though because I know i’d be dying in the background. I kind of want to make this my alarm in the morning so I can wake up with great vibes. They aren’t lacking you gotta admit. And then at the end she was like “let’s play some basketball!” as though she really did something. Miss ma’am, you just slam dunked that anthem into the pits of hell, this ain’t no masterpiece bitch.

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This post got a bit off topic I think, but I guess what I wanted to say was that I feel bad for the Olympians this year and I hope they have a great time and sleep well on their cardboard beds. I also hope they get another chance next time so they can have the whole experience. Apparently it’s in Paris next time so I might have to have a wee scoot over because it ain’t a long flight from where I live. Maybe I’ll have a cheeky croissant or have a hot girl summer with the french dudes. But no matter what, and I mean no matter what, I am not gonna do the fucking tourist picture shit with the Eiffel tower. Did you know somebody actually married the Eiffel tower?! NO JOKE.

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And on that note, I will see you tomorrow. Thanks for being patient with my posts guys because I been kind of a busy bitch lately with work and all that going on. It’s a hard not life for a working woman who also hates being around anything and anyone 🙂 So yeah I’ll hopefully talk tomorrow and please don’t forget to subscribe so that you don’t miss the next one because I know you are gonna want to read it. I don’t know what it is yet but I know it’s gonna be great. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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I Hate Genes

To any foetus child out there who is like what the fuck are genes, basically they are the characteristics that we get from our parents and they make up who we are and what we look like. For example, I inherited my dad’s white ass Irish skin which burns like a bitch whenever a bloody … Continue reading I Hate Genes

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It’s All About Perspective

Ok guys, we aren’t about to get into some existential shit today because I don’t think I can take that at the moment, but I guess it kinda will be but like to a certain extent, so kinda just be warned about that but lets get started into it. This is another weekly reminder post but I am going to make it around the same vibe as my other posts because I find it hard to… write like I care. That sounds really mean but what I mean by that is that I struggle to not cringe when I try to write a post in an empathetic tone. I know I am disappointing my English teacher at the moment but like I don’t give a shit anyways. So sorry if you prefer reading things that are kinda sad, but I use humor to cope despite the fact my humor is crap so that isn’t the best but like we move. I also don’t know why I am typing all of this because I can guarantee that you don’t give a fuck. But yeah, I feel that when I try to write a post with an empathetic tone, I sound so fake, kinda like all the people in my school. Lets get into it anyways

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I saw this TikTok video yesterday and it was this girl that was replying to a comment that said “how are you so confident” and if I knew who that girl was I would shout her out but I don’t so like deal with it, but anyways, she was so… como se dice… perfect. Like she was a nice confident where she is outgoing but wouldn’t be like “fuck you” to every person who breathes near her. Anyways, that is besides the point, but she literally just said “because nobody fucking cares! In a couple of hundred years everyone on this earth will literally be dead and nobody will remember that thing you said or the clothes you wore or anything because it won’t carry on once we all die”. I mean unless you do something so awful like a proper historical downfall, you shouldn’t change for anyone. Like that person you are changing yourself for is gonna die and so are you so why are you trying to do something for them when eventually it won’t matter at all and you should live the life that you want when you have it.

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I always get a wee bit scared when I talk about doing whatever you want because it won’t mean shit in the future because I always feel people are going to use that as a reason for like killing someone or just doing something awful because “it won’t matter” but like don’t think I am saying that. I don’t want to be responsible for murder, but like you know what I mean. It is the things like caring what other people think about you and stuff like that. Trying to make others happy before yourself and that shit. We are all guilty of doing this and that’s fine because that is what we have learned and it isn’t our fault, but it is also ok because we can fix it, as long as it is for yourself. That is kinda why I like being single at this stage. I mean having someone that actually likes you must be nice, but I like the fact that I am free to fully figure myself out and think about myself as an individual and if a relationship comes from that then it is perfect. But from past experiences I know that having a partner can be kinda restrictive and, at least in my position, I always changed myself to be perfect for him and to not be myself. Maybe if you have a healthy relationship then that is different, but you need to think carefully about who you are with.

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And also, literally if that person remembers it for the rest of their life, maybe they laugh about how you panicked in a school play until the day they die, then that is only one life and you should move on with it because they will die one day and that is it. It won’t become a family tradition to carry on this story. And the embarrassing thing you did, you aren’t the first person to do that. I mean the earth is millions of years old and even in just the past 100 years, there have probably been millions of people that have done the same as you. What you also need to remind yourself is that if someone actually does hang onto that one thing you did ages ago and makes fun of it, they have no fucking life. I mean would a person who actually mattered focus on that thing everyday or would they move on with life and all the opportunities they will come to have. And the people who remember it and therefore have no life, shouldn’t worry you because it doesn’t make you less than them and you know the only reason they remember that is because they have made it their whole personality trait and that is the only bit of information they can actually keep in their pea sized brain.

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So yeah, I hope this boosted your confidence in some way and that you can come to terms with the reality of life and how eventually, just like humans, rumors will die. Stories die and you aren’t weird or dumb for what you did. But yeah, just don’t give a shit and you will be good I guess. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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What To Expect When Starting High School – Story Time Part 4

I remember in P7, the last year of primary school, for those who don’t live in the UK, me and my friends were like ‘I can’t wait to start high school and then we will be so grown up, we can revise and not be bored all the time’. Yes I literally said it will be fun to revise because I won’t be so bored all the time. I mean that is next level ignorance. Just like… what the hell was I bloody thinking because I would do anything to never have to revise again. So today’s ‘what to expect’ I am going to debunk some of the expectations I had when I was in primary school.

Revision

Let’s dive a wee bit deeper into this one. So, as you just read, I was looking forward to revision because I thought I would feel mature and not waste time. No. Just no. Revision humbles you so quickly. You will realise that you have no fucking clue what the hell you are supposed to do. You will find out that you have no clue how to revise, no clue what the hell is happening in class, and no clue how to concentrate. Me, someone in 5th year of school, who is supposed to do their GCSEs, some of the most important exams in their life, still doesn’t know how they revise best. I mean in 1st year they try to teach you different ways to revise and literally batter you if you try to just rewrite your notes. I mean what the hell am I supposed to do. I can’t memorise 1000 bloody mnemonics for every bloody subject. Warning though, you will be told the weirdest rhymes and maybe the will work for you, they sometimes work for me but they are literally such a joke. I will literally be in the exam saying ‘Jane Found An Old Lady In The Bin’. As if I am not distracted enough, now I have these weird images in my head.

Maturity

When you go into high school in 1st year, promise me, you will feel like the bees knees. It is a big jump like and you feel like you are the ones who are ‘2 cool 4 school’. NO. Just NOOOOO. To everyone else you are a literal foetus and you are basically the wee children that your mum forces you to hang out with because she is drinking wine with the mums. You yourself will feel mature as hell but trust me, you aren’t. When you get older you will look at the first years and die inside because you realise you were once one of them. It is such a gross feeling. Just because you walk around for your next class doesn’t mean you are top notch. And it is so annoying when people just act as though they earned their place just for being in 1st year, when in reality everyone just thinks you are obnoxious. You have to realise that you are still young, and that is fine, but just realise that these people have been there longer than you and don’t need you to act as though you rule the place.

High School Musical

I don’t know if this is true for American school, but in the UK, the ‘team spirit’ is none existent. I always thought that everyone in your year would be so close and best mates. No. School life is not all rainbows and butterflies. The school building is most likely falling apart as we speak. It quite literally is like a prison. Grey walls, rows of chairs and tables, people shouting and fighting. The canteen is like a war zone. Their is no room for dancing or singing and if there was, you would be beat up, possibly by the teachers. Sometimes there are moments in school and everyone can relate to each other. But this is very rare and can sometimes still be a divided place. Like when their is a rugby match you are all allowed to watch, or if they do a charity colour run. But again, this doesn’t always happen and you should be careful. And it is so funny in high school musical because like Sharpay will have her locker all decorated and wears extravagant clothes and over the top stationary. You know what, I dare you to bring that stuff in, that will be so hilarious. Well, for me. Just don’t decorate your locker. And if you have one or two pieces of ‘original’ stationary then that’s OK but just don’t come in with a literal fluffy pencil or something like that.

Concentration

Nah, I am not talking about the hand game ‘concentration’. I am talking about the most difficult thing to do. I always thought that the hour long lesson would go by so quickly because it is all different subjects and it will be interesting stuff. Damn, I really was dumb as fuck LOL. This is true for some subjects though, only if you like them, but for others, as soon as you step into the classroom, your mind will switch on and any time they want you to do some actual work, it will be one of the hardest things to do. I have never actually fallen asleep in class myself but I know a lot of people who have and to be honest I don’t blame you. Especially for classes that literally will not help you in the future in any way. The first couple of days are fine because you are just settling in and doing absolute fuck all but then your motivation will literally die. You will have to kind of just get over it but if you do kind of just zone out, let it happen because I mean it do be like that sometimes.

Thank you so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed this part of the series. Please like, follow, and donate some money if you can so that I can keep all of my content free for everyone. You should check out some of discounts too and an app I found for making money because you will quickly discover that you are broke in high school. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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