Have You Amber Heard About This?

It comes as no shock that there is currently a trial between Johnny Depp and Amber Heard. Just to clear things up, Amber Heard is an actor… mostly. But for real I have never seen or heard of her ever before. I’m pretty sure Johnny said she was on Aquaman or something. All you need to know is that she is quite literally an extreme narcissist and complete nuts. Oh, and her lawyers have just graduated from clown school or the equivalent. Now, I’m just gonna run into this now because I got a lot to say and I’m just gonna ramble on so try to keep up, OK?

Let’s start with the basics. What is the case about? It’s a defamation case which basically means that Johnny Depp is suing Amber for ruining his image which in turn ruins his career because he is obviously a public figure. How did he ruin his image? Well, she posted (or didn’t… she can’t quite remember what her script said) an op-ed basically outing Johnny Depp as abusive. She has evidence to prove this… kind of, but she also forgot to mention that she too is physically abusive. And it doesn’t really take a fucking genius to realize that. So now it’s turned into a whole thing about who was the most abusive, who should be punished, who didn’t clean the carpet blah blah blah.

It’s quite hilarious though and I recommend you try to watch it. Skip to the part where she is on the stand though because then you’ll understand me when I say there is no way she could possibly have been a paid actor. Even I could do a better job and I was one step above being a rock in my primary school play. But you’ll never guess the drama! This actually nearly brought a tear to my eye… sorry, I meant it nearly made me tear my eyes out. Basically what happened was her dog stepped on a bee. Obviously, this is vital to her case… somehow, and was very emotional for her. At least that’s what I think her facial expression was supposed to show. I couldn’t really tell because I was trying to remember her point (there was none)

amber heard dog stepped on a bee face comedy meme

For real this is what her face looked like when she talked about her dog stepping on a bee. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a mess when it comes to dogs getting hurt, but like can we get to the fucking point, or remind me what the point is?! Please.

Hats off for the confidence I guess. She is very committed to the role. I mean they literally had a recording of her confessing to it and she sat there and denied it. Dead ass starred them in the eye and spoke literal shit. But we love Camille and she sees right through that shit. She just stand there looking all fed up with this shit and be like “Miss He- Miss- MISS HEARD… that wasn’t my question” and then goes back into game mode.

A reoccurring theme with Amber’s stories is that they don’t really… make any sense. One of the ones that made me crack up was the one where she said something along the lines of “he put his hand into a fist, raised it up, pulled it back *dramatic sigh* and HEAD-BUTTED me”. I’m sorry but that really did not make any sense.

Something that has really started to bug literally the entire population is the fact that whenever she answers a question she whips her head over to the jury like they are her moral support and answers to them. It kinda gives me the vibes of when you go to the doctor with your mum and the doctor asks you a question but you look at your mum to answer instead. That is quite literally it. And I don’t know if she got neck problems or what but she gotta get that checked out soon. I’m surprised Camille hasn’t called her out and been like “Can you look at me when you are answering me bitch”. That would have been me for real.

Also, she is such a poser. This is indisputable as well, even Amber Heard’s lawyers could win my case. She got a tissue to wipe her nose and she went to put it down but then saw a camera man pointed in her direction so she put it back up to her nose froze for a second until it flashed and then went on. It’s like ma’am this is on live broadcast and we can see past your bullshit

I’m gonna have to admit something and don’t be angry about it because you know it’s true, but I don’t think either of them were perfect partners. I don’t think he did what Amber said he did, I don’t think he was physically abusive, but they definitely just weren’t good for each other. Don’t twist my words OK because I’m as Team JD as I am a human, but he isn’t an angel.

I don’t want to drag this on for too long tbh because I’m gonna leave you a link to the actual trial video yourself but I’ll leave you with one last thing that made me actually die. Funny enough it was when they were leaving the court for the day and Amber was getting off the stand and as she got off, Johnny started to walk out too. Let me tell you, this how jumped back like it was extreme hopscotch. For real she acted as though JD was about to pounce. But he just needed to get to the door. What was also funny was that the police woman who was there reacted like that pick me girl in school who would go in between the two fighting and spread her arms out like “Guys stawp it this isn’t you! Don’t do this pleeasssee”. I guess it’s her job but I thought it was quite hilarious

Anyways, I love to talk about this shit because it’s so messed up but like also I feel bad for the guy. Do leave a wee comment though on what you think because I need to make sure all my subscribers are on my side. I’m trying to post more often now as well so scroll down to the suscribe section below so you can get notified every time I post because trust me you don’t want to miss it. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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My Life Is an Unsuccessful Netflix Show

I don’t know what to call this feeling, but you know when you get a sudden realisation that this is in fact real life. Like you aren’t gonna start into a new season or a new episode of a show. You are just gonna start the next day with the same problems, the same things… Continue Reading →

I’m OK With Following The Crowd Right Now

I don’t know if this is the social anxiety coming out of me right now but like for real I just let others decide who I am for real. Like it’s not that I’m fake, I’m just moldable? That sounds weird as fuck but like I will change my personality to suit the person I’m… Continue Reading →

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I’m OK With Following The Crowd Right Now

I don’t know if this is the social anxiety coming out of me right now but like for real I just let others decide who I am for real. Like it’s not that I’m fake, I’m just moldable? That sounds weird as fuck but like I will change my personality to suit the person I’m with. Tbh I think we all do that a little, but then people are always on social media like “be yourself” and “don’t follow the crowd” but honestly I’m kinda thinking that if there’s a crowd it must be something good.

I’m no motivational speaker, I mean I literally don’t have an ounce of motivation in me *manic smile* but like I don’t get if I’m basic. It’s just so much easier because life is stressful enough having to figure out literally every fucking thing about the entire universe… or at least that’s how in feel. I was also kinda destined to be a basic bitch because I’m blonde so it have no other choice really. Literally if you were to get the essence of what basic is, it would be me. A blonde bitch who likes Starbucks iced lattes. I’m not even ashamed about the Starbucks though. It is popular for a reason.

Basic clothes are kinda fun though… or maybe not fun but like easy. I can put on a fucking hoodie and leggings and call it a day. And it’s also comfy as hell. Sure I care about how people look at me and I do think that they think I’m such a boring and ugly bitch, but if I were to wear something a bit “different” those thoughts would be even worse.

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Do you know what? I’m a saver. If there is a fear of spending money, it’s me for real. I don’t know what it is, but it works because basic clothes are usually less expensive than trendy ones. Call me weird or… cheap, but things look better when they’re an absolute bargain. You know imma go around to everyone saying “Guess how much my socks cost?!” Or some shit like that. Don’t get me wrong if someone were to gift me a fancy wee top or something nice, I wouldn’t turn it away. Call me bloody bargain hunter, I don’t care because imma be the one who just saved 25% on a top 😏

I think the point I was wanting to get at here is that I think people have too much pressure to be someone different and to find who they are as quick as possible so they can stand out and while I think that’s all good and you definitely should be yourself, I don’t think there should be such an urgency. I always hear people my age being like “I barely know who I am!” Not in a mentally ill, kinda ‘I should find you help’ kinda way but like they don’t know what to do in the future and they feel like they should but bitch take a breathe and realize that we’ve got fucking time. For real though. Maybe you didn’t choose the right uni course for what you want to do or maybe you are near retirement and your like “I wish I did this instead” then you can still go and do it.

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Sometimes it’s easier to go with the flow and let people decide some things for you. I know at the moment I prefer not to stand out too much and kinda see where things take me because I have no clue what else to do. How am I supposed to navigate my way through life without any guidance from others. I kinda just hope that eventually the flow will go through something that I find interesting or more like me. I never thought being myself would be so difficult and life is difficult enough already so imma be basic for a second and you can do whatever it is you want.

Think of it as being neutral. I’m not going into anything with a set opinion or expectation, so I’ll just see what I come out with. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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Have You Amber Heard About This?

It comes as no shock that there is currently a trial between Johnny Depp and Amber Heard. Just to clear things up, Amber Heard is an actor… mostly. But for real I have never seen or heard of her ever before. I’m pretty sure Johnny said she was on Aquaman or something. All you need… Continue Reading →

Kitchen or war the womens crossword animated modern sleek blog cover photo

Kitchen or War | The Women’s Crossroad

Please let me tell you that I am in fact a girl! I am not some man that is about to start slabbering about how women are supposed to make everyone a fucking sandwich and look after their kids while the man is at war. I also want to say that this is light-hearted and… Continue Reading →

a roaring 20's themed war 2020 memorial image with memories and news of recent

The Raging 20’s, Is It an Inevitable Disaster?

I’m sorry, but between my last post and this one, we have literally gone through a war. That’s not even a joke sadly enough. Corona is kinda fading away (except the Queen has joined the Corona Club) but then we gotta keep the drama alive so we start into world war 3! Sounds like a… Continue Reading →

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Merry Chrysler!

Merry Chrysler!

Merry Christmas guys! I want to keep this post short and sweet because honestly who the fuck wants to read this on Christmas but if you are then I respect you and you a real one. But anyway lol I know this year has been kinda very shite but it’s nearly over and we made it through so well done! I also hope you all still have a great Christmas even though I know a lot of us haven’t really felt very Christmasy lately which I don’t really know why and is kind of a shame but like oh well. Hopefully, we’ll fit the vibe check on the day.

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I’m not gonna say all the “it’s about giving not receiving” but like enjoying getting the gifts you deserve and earned. Don’t feel bad because you should be treated like royalty. Obviously, we all need to stay humble and be so grateful for what we get in life but know that as long as you react in the right way and focus on what is important, you can have nice things.

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I also predict that a lot of you will be reading this at the end of the night when you have your annual Christmas cry and I want you to know that it’s ok and you aren’t a weirdo. Christmas most likely went perfectly and for whatever reason, you are crying for at the moment, it will pass and everyone is ok. Usually, for me, it’s kinda like your emotions catch up with you because you are just non-stop all day, or you have hyped it up so much in your head that you are sad that it’s gone and you have to go back to normal life. There is also the fact that you feel as though you may not have been perky all night and you kind of overthink about what you did or said. I have found we all get this crying surge at the end of Christmas and you are just standing there like “ok what the actual fuck is wrong with me? Why am I crying on Christmas?” But honestly, it’s normal and you’ll get through it eventually.

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So I suppose I won’t keep you for much longer, but I hope you have an amazing day doing whatever it is you do on Christmas. Hopefully, it is all pretty much back to normal for you all and you get to enjoy something semi-normal this year. Let yourself enjoy this day and go out and have fun. Also here is a quick reminder for people who get really stressed out about presents and feeling bad because you don’t think you spent as much on them or gave as much as them, just know that they appreciate you so much and anything that shows you thought of them for even 1 second is probably so thrilled no matter what you give them. Don’t be so hard on yourself and I’m expecting to hear how your day went. I hope you have a great Christmas, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Is Texting A Ticking Time Bomb?

From the perspective of a 16-year-old girl, I would have to say yes, texts are a ticking time bomb. Call me old fashioned, but honestly, I don’t trust that shit. They are so unpredictable. Now I could lie to you and say that is the reason I don’t text people much, but the plain truth… Continue Reading →

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The power of apps

This could possibly be my most dumb fucking post because I know I’m about to sound like I’m some sort of old bitch who just discovered the internet, but honestly, I just think of a lot of random crap and I like to share it, whether you like it or not. I mean, if you… Continue Reading →

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Do You Know What’s Weird? | Plants are alive

Now please don’t think I’m some sort of alien conspiracy bitch, like I understand that plants are a living thing because I went to school (not in the USA) and did biology (again, not in the USA) so I would say I know a thing or two. I also think about things too much which… Continue Reading →

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10 Top Tips To Stay Warm In Winter That Actually Work

If your dad is like mine in any way at all, they refuse to put the heating on, or at least not high enough to actually feel the effects. So I am nowhere to give you some tips for staying warm in your house and don’t forget to share this with the rest of your family just as a wee tip because they will really appreciate it. But let’s just get right into it. Oh and that reminds me, make sure to read the text underneath each tip for more explanation and how to do it for optimum warmth.

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1. Turn On The Heating

Now I know that sounds like a bit of a stretch, but the easiest way for you to stay warm inside in every room of your house is to turn on the heating. Surprisingly enough it isn’t that hard to do so and can work quickly. I know some people may complain about the money but the truth is you would rather be warm and spend a bit more money or be literally dead with more cash that you can’t even use. So definitely this is a great one to think about

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2. Put On a Jumper

Make sure to read this explanation because it is important. What you want to do is look in your wardrobe and pick out a nice thick jumper. This will really help to keep you warm when you go downstairs to turn on the heating. So while that is 2 steps, it is very effective and one of my favourites

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3. Put On Slippers

I highly recommend this for those who have wooden or tiled floors because it is scientifically proven that cold feet will make the rest of you cold. Surprising isn’t it! So it’s important you have something on your feet for going downstairs to turn on the heating to your house

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4. Go Into A Smaller Room

The science behind this is that smaller rooms stay warmer because the heat is less dispersed. That is why I go to my utility room which is the smallest in my house and conveniently also where my heating controls are. So I go into the small room until the heating is on for long enough and then go back to my nice toasty bedroom.

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5. Stay Close To People

So I suppose this isn’t the best during ‘rona and also isn’t great for people who don’t really like… people. But this is great because of body heat and shit. Like penguins do it. So how to start with that is just whenever you have to go do something no, do it with someone else. This could be going to the toilet, going to watch tv, or in this circumstance, going to switch on the heating. So yeah that is a great way to stay warm

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6. Stay Active

I know that a lot of you will see this and be like “umm the fuck? I’m not doing that” and then swipe but it doesn’t actually last that long and you can do it in your house, so depending on how big your house is, this could take somewhere from 1 minute to 3 minutes. So here it is and listens closely because it is quite tricky, go down the stairs (making sure to take deep breathes) which is great for cardio. Then go and click the button to turn on the heating (don’t pull a muscle pls) which is great for muscle strength and then go back up the stairs but slowly so that you can cool down a bit and then by the time you have cooled down from the exercise the heating will keep you at a comfortable temperature

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7. Speak To Others

Communication is key and we need to recognize how it can also help us achieve some stuff that we need. You might be wondering how speaking can help you to warm up, and it is really simple actually. All you have to do is take a deep breath, and at the top of your lungs you shout “can some turn on the heating?!” The only fault is that sometimes parents won’t want to do that so it could mean that you have to resort to some of the options that are above, but if you get the right tone and volume, then this is definitely a good option to go for.

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8. Shower/Bath

This one is actually no joke a good one but the thing is you will be warm during it and then when you get out it will be even worse than before so I guess you just gotta weigh up the pros and cons at that point. And for me, baths are boring as fuck but I like the sound of them so when I have one I basically have to just bring my whole bedroom in with me so I have something to do. It’s also hard to get the right balance between boiling hot and sweating your ass off and being absolutely freezing. So I usually go for the classic shower, not that you give a fuck.

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9. Use Single-Use Plastic

This may be confusing for some but if we keep using plastic the way we have done for a while, our whole entire earth will warm up. I’m pretty sure it’s called global warming or some shit but yeah although it may take a year or so, we could soon have natural heating. It could kill us all but then again at least we would die warm. Every cloud has a silver lining. *pls understand this is a joke because I don’t want David Attenborough and Greta Thunberg running after me*

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10. Listen To Anti-Vaxxers

This may seem hard to be able to achieve but it actually isn’t. There are surprisingly a lot of idio- I mean people who don’t want the vaccine. You can find them in the streets, but other hotspots include the Managers office of your closest restaurant or supermarket. There is also many reported to be near your local town hall and can be recognized by their chants “we want freedom” or something along the lines of that. If they by chance don’t have a sign then just look out for the usual Karen haircut. The reason this will keep you warm is because it will make your blood boil. You will try not to punch them so bad and try to speak with them reasonably but that takes a lot of energy to do. So it will both distract from the pain of the cold, and redirect it to the pain that is society. I would even say that you can speak your mind to them because it can help to create heat by movement. So I guess just take your pic!

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Hilarious anti-vaxxer meme
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Anyways, that is me all done for today and I hope this did really help you guys. Also please don’t destroy the planet that would be greatly appreciated actually. But yeah no stay warm and I hope you have an amazing winter and that Santa treats you well. It’s already bloody stormy where I live so really getting in that winter mood :/ I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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Why Does Nobody Appreciate A Bargain?

POV: it’s Saturday. You are with a friend on the train and because we are so spontaneous we say “hey, why don’t we go to Botanic instead?”. You feel crazy because you are now getting off one stop later, what a rush. You go around and live the quirky life you desired as you shop… Continue Reading →

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The Most Common US Misconceptions About The UK

This post is gonna come off as fucking cheeky and kind of playing with American stereotypes, but I want to make it clear to you now that I 100% mean it. So, sorry I guess but it has to be done. To be fair though, when was there ever a need for you to learn… Continue Reading →

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How To Describe My Blog

Sometimes when I am writing a new post I sometimes look at myself in the mirror and wonder what the fuck I’m even talking about. What genre is this? I would say comedy but then again I don’t want to seem cocky and I don’t even know if people understand my humour. I would also… Continue Reading →

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These Brands Are Getting Way Out Of Hand

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Up until last month, I used to think that Corona was the worst thing that happened to us but fuck me this is 10 times worse. I mean I know the pandemic was tough but this has ruined my whole entire life and all of my memories. It makes me physically ill to talk about so be blessed you get to read this post. So prepare yourself guys because I’m about to reveal what is going on. The problem is… the pringles logo😱

New and old pringles logo
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I’m sorry but they really did him dirty. Like what the actual hell were they thinking. He looks literally depressed or as though he just saw something he shouldn’t have. The guy has been absolutely ROBBED of his hair. Did he have kids? Is he papa Pringle now? There better be a good fucking reason because this is not my Pringle man. Literally, where did these eyebrows come from? Maybe he looked in the mirror because he got the same reaction as us. It really hurts my soul that this innocent man has been literally been taken advantage of like this. Don’t fix something that isn’t broken.

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But the thing is their excuse for this monstrosity. I kid you not they were saying it’s because they want to appeal to Gen Zs by being more minimalistic. Don’t put the blame on me bitch. I don’t claim any of this. Like why fix something that isn’t broken? It just doesn’t make sense. Maybe we like a minimalist house or designer shit but we love a good classic. Our generation is so anxiety-ridden that we love to see the same old shit as normal. That’s why we rewatch friends and the office. We like to be comforted by the things we already know and have known all our life.

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Oh but don’t think that this is only pringles. Nah, I’m gonna expose all these hoes. Let’s start with our old friend Doritos who have sadly been through an identity crisis and now think they are the YouTube play button

New and old Doritos logo
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I’m sorry you had to see that but you must be aware of the truth. You can’t excuse that. That’s basically a crime against humanity and when I see my therapist I am going to show him this photo and I won’t have to say anything else. It’s like he grew up and lost all personality. Get Doritos on some counselling now because that’s not healthy. I don’t recognize this brand. It was so full of life and Gad hopes for the future. It gave me hope but now it gives me “what is the point of anything if we all die eventually”.

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Guys, I just searched up new and old logos and I genuinely feel like I need to hide out in a bunker until this madness passes. Look at what Burger King is doing

New and old Burger King logo
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Who can I call to sue Burger King for this? Like… it was a joke up until now. What were they on when they were coming up with this? The only reason this would make sense is if they had an intern who was freaking out when they asked him to come up with a new logo or if they were high off their heads and going through some sort of mid-life crisis. I would love to see what their sales are like now because I’m ready to boycott them no joke. It’s actually becoming a global crisis and it needs to be stopped. They can’t take our childhood away from us because that was a good time in my life. I want my kids to live with the original Mr Pringle because they may not see a fucking polar bear or some shot so at least give them the OG packaging. Get your priorities straight bitch.

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This actually does sadden me and it doesn’t stop so I’m going to go and cry now. So yeah I’ll leave you with that and if you can get in touch with any of the people guilty of this crime then do send them this. Comment down below what you guys think and if you actually like them. If you do I would get that checked out, to be honest. But yeah don’t forget to like and subscribe also. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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10 Crazy Facts About Women That You Wouldn’t Believe

Hey guys, today I just wanted to talk about something very random and for no particular reason because why not. I was just on a walk one day and I was kinda just thinking about how fucking mental life is as a woman. I’m pretty sure I was actually getting a bit scared because I thought this man was about to literally kidnap me but, surprise surprise, he didn’t. I guess that is a bit fitting for the story because that is something we gotta put up with at points. Anyways, let’s get into some facts about women that are kinda obvious but like I feel we just need to do a wee recap sesh for all the people out there who are very much… ignorant. I will also be exposing us a wee bit but deal with it.

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1. Evolved To Forget

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This was one that I only realised not that long ago and basically our bodies have evolved to forget the pain of giving birth because it is so traumatic to us. Excuse me? What the actual fuck. Obviously, we have some stuff to help with that pain now but what about the people that give birth in their literal car and don’t have time to get to the hospital or some shit? What about the women who literally don’t have access to healthcare and just have to hope for the best?! I actually read that every 90 seconds a woman dies from giving birth or pregnancy complications. Like what the hell? I mean yeah having kids would be great and stuff but oh my days I didn’t realise it would be that bad. I just know that when I am like 7 or 8 months pregnant that I will be having nightmares of going into labour. I suppose there is always a c-section but that’s only for emergencies so you gonna have to get that baby out at some point and I’m not for it.

2. Growing a Fucking Human

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I think we can all grasp the concept of what it means to be pregnant. Like we grow a baby and then boom it’s suddenly out of you as this slimy crying thing. But I don’t think you really UNDERSTAND it. We grow a complex living thing inside of us that just lies there for 9 months rent-free. When you look at a pregnant woman there is quite literally a human inside her. It just boggles my mind to think about that because the pregnancy belly just makes you think “aww pregnant” and then they give birth and you’re like “aww a baby” but that thing was quite literally just inside her. That full human being was just inside her. It was on that kangaroo shit just sitting there. It didn’t just magically transform shape as it was birthed but that baby was just squished up in there from a literal egg to a full ass baby. It’s just crazy and kinda scary to think of

3. The Reason We Wear Makeup

This one may actually be really shocking for some people and it’s the first time I’m gonna expose us or just people who wear makeup. But the real reason we do our makeup and spend all our goddamn money is because… we just fucking want to! Oh my days! What a shock. It isn’t actually for other people. That’s crazy mental. Bet some of you were convinced we do all that shit for you! No. We just like it and it makes us feel good and that’s it

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4. We Have Our Own Opinions

I really hope some of the people my age and in my school get to read this because I don’t think they have ever been taught that before. So we actually do have thoughts and can come up with ideas and opinions by ourselves. We can actually retain information, yes even the blonde ones, so like don’t tell us what to think or say because I can promise you they know what they want to say, they just aren’t being listened to or been given the chance to do so. I’ve actually faced that problem lately in school where we have to build a business and every time I bring something up or give new ideas or opinions, they are always not convinced by what I say or just go like “yeah…” and then don’t talk about it again. Or they’ll be like “but don’t you think…” or “wouldn’t you agree that…”. Hmmm, maybe let me talk for myself for one second. Thank you

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5. What We Do At Sleepovers

I actually find it so funny what people think girls do at sleepovers. Like it actually shocks me how they think it’s all pillow fights and giggling about what guy we like. Don’t get me wrong we do love a good gossip but like that isn’t it. We have the deepest conversations late at night. We eat, we watch random movies, we cry, we do whatever the hell we want. One thing that I have never done at a sleepover though is a pillow fight. In fact, the only reason anyone would be hit by a pillow is if they were doing my head in and you just gotta make them shut up somehow. That makes me sound like a bitch but we all just find it funny.

6. Why We Go To The Bathroom Together

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I’ve actually heard a lot of answers from different people and some say that they go together to gossip about who they are with or to fix their makeup and while that is true for many and I have done that in the bathrooms, but honestly, the reason I gather a big group is that I just don’t want to be bored and it is also just so awkward having to walk around to find the bathroom. Like I suppose some of the things I said above do happen but I wouldn’t go just for that. It’s just to make the experience more fun, less lonely and a lot less awkward. So yeah that’s your answer I guess.

7. We Don’t Complain as Much as We Could

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I already KNOW that there are gonna be people racing to the comments and saying “how is that possible lol I swear my girl always be mad at me!” or “we know that ’cause you always be saying your fine and shit when you really aren’t” but I swear to god if anyone says that I’m gonna flip. We can be straight up with people if we know them and trust them, and you can take that as a compliment, but there are things in everyday life that we just keep quiet because it would take up way too much energy. One thing I think that needs to be mentioned is the dumb things that guys say all the time that just isn’t true. For example, and this one might be triggering, “must be her time of the month” :I What the fuck? Like sorry, we are just pissed and actually show emotion I guess. We also don’t literally collapse whenever we get hurt even the tiniest bit. We also just get on with work that needs to be done even if we had a long day because you just gotta deal with it. We do realise that there are inequalities at home and around the world but we don’t say that every bloody day because it would take up a lot of the time that we don’t really have. So next time you say we complain too much, just know it’s probably just because our “glass of tolerance” is overflowing at the moment.

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8. Wonder Woman

This one is genuinely a good fact. It’s sad but also interesting. The movie Wonder Woman (2017) was the first superhero movie with a female lead that was directed by a woman. Can someone tell me why it took so long for that to happen?

9. We Used To Wear What?!

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I just learned about this today and it makes me feel sick to my stomach just thinking about it. So, before pads and all that shit was invented, women used to have to use softened papyrus, lint wrapped around wood, and paper during our period. Pads are even uncomfortable at the moment, never mind having to wear a fucking log like they did. Who thought that was a good idea? I would just bleed through and deal with it because that sounds like literal torture

10. Women’s Brains Are Just Built Different

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Let me list off some facts real quick. Men’s brains are 9% larger than women’s, yet we still have the same number of brain cells. We mature so much quicker than men, 2 years quicker to be exact. And that is why I won’t date anyone younger than me because even the one’s my age are still complete idiots, and I knew that before I learned this fact. Oh, and one last fact to leave you with. The top 2 highest IQ’s ever recorded were by 2 women *Mic drop*

Lol, I hope that post really wasn’t too feminist of me because II don’t want to feel like I’m properly destroying the men, but I think it’s good to appreciate so of the things women have to go through and deal with every day. But I’m sure some of you found this somewhat informative and enjoyed discovering what our lives are like and don’t forget to like, comment and follow for more. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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jennifer Lawerence is what? shocked text message with punctuation on side for shocking blog post featured image

Jennifer Lawerence Is What?

Talk about a merry fucking Christmas because I just found out something that has blown me away. It has been released before Christmas but I am only getting around to talking about this now because I wanted to spread out the happiness across this December. So without further ado, let’s talk about what the fuck… Continue Reading →

Personal comedy blog post feature image for Christmas with vine girl who says merry Chrysler

Merry Chrysler!

Merry Christmas guys! I want to keep this post short and sweet because honestly who the fuck wants to read this on Christmas but if you are then I respect you and you a real one. But anyway lol I know this year has been kinda very shite but it’s nearly over and we made… Continue Reading →

Thank Goodness For Growing Up

I’m no Peter Pan, but I never want to grow up. Well, except for these reasons. Maybe it won’t be so bad after all.

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Growing up: Expectations vs. Reality

I know that title makes me sound like I’m fucking ancient or some shit but like I am only 16. To be fair though this is me nearly becoming an adult and like is one of the biggest changes in life so I suppose I can talk about growing up. The difference between me now and me 5 years ago is astronomical. For example, I wouldn’t have been able to use astronomical in a sentence. We all grow in pretty weird ways despite the fact it is usually normal. I suppose we all reach the same point eventually but like each journey to get there is so different. So before I start getting into deep shit, lets just talk about some things that have shocked me, surprised me, met my expectations and disappointed me. And don’t forget to comment below some of the things you think I missed because it will be interesting to hear if anyone feels the same way or if I just over-think things way to much.

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One thing that I thought I would have by the time I was 16 or something was… a life. No, I’m joking, but also not but no, I thought I would have an idea of what the fuck I wanted to do with my life. I mean I think I had my life sorted out more when I was 10 than I do now because so much has changed and I have no fucking clue anymore. Like I always wanted to be a police woman and I still do but like also what the fuck?! Like what if I am crap at it, or what if I could have found the fucking cure for cancer but now I am just giving speeding tickets. Obviously police do a lot more than that and I really respect their work, but just to make a point. And I mean I don’t think that if I become a police woman that I will have that big of an impact on the world. I don’t mean that in a way that I want to be fucking famous but I would like to be remembered as someone who did something amazing that saved so many people’s lives. And while that sounds good and better than an office job, I don’t really want to have to work by a time table and for someone else who I might not be able to argue with if I think what they are doing is wrong. Like what if they are racist or some shit? It’s just difficult because there are pros and cons for every job but like it’s trying to weigh up how much the pros mean to you and how you will be affected by the cons.

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I had actually tried to start a business, like just a dropshipping business, but like I always get distracted. I literally started this blog to get my voice out there and, as you know, I haven’t been posting much. The thing is I get distracted by things that seem better that will get me places quicker, but look at me now. In the same exact fucking place as last year. Didn’t make money online, apart from a few online surveys, and although I do have all of you guys and the support has been amazing, I feel like I have failed in some way. That’s another thing about growing up that has kind of shocked me, or at least I new it was coming but never really thought it would be such a big thing. Failure. I have had a pretty fucked up life and maybe if I actually stuck to something I would be in a different position, but I didn’t so I’m not and I guess that’s fine. Like I am still young even though I am growing up so there is still time left.

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Kind of linking back to that last sentence, I never thought that I would feel as though there were time limits on life. I mean we all die and that is the main one, but I never thought about the fact that there are stages in life that you go through and in those stages there is almost a to-do list both with things that society has added, and ones you add yourself. For example, something on my list that I feel society has made more urgent is finding a significant other or going to uni, working, figuring out what the fuck I am doing and plan to do for the rest of my life. And some that I have added on myself are stuff like travelling and getting all the fun stuff out of the way before I have to start into “the real world” which gets closer and closer every day. I feel as though I have a timer ticking inside my head making me think that these are supposed to be the best years of my life but I am wasting them by doing literally nothing so when I grow up and maybe have kids and a stable job, I will regret my life and that I will never actually do anything beneficial or impactful. Do you know what I mean by that? Do I just sound crazy. I feel as though I only have a few years to live my life and then afterwards I need to live a life of always waiting forward to the weekend, but when it is the weekend I dread the week to come. Like once you start a job, that is your life until you retire, and then when you retire you may be lucky enough to travel but you’ll also be exhausted and unable to do some of the things that I should be doing now.

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That got really deep really fast so I hope I am not giving anyone an existential crisis, but I really do hope at least one person relates to this. Obviously I am still young, and mentally unstable, so I don’t really know what I am talking about so feel free to comment below what your thoughts are and maybe what you are scared for in the future. I’ll probably have to do another post about this in the future because it was actually kind of fun. Especially know that I know how to type properly so it is so much quicker and satisfying to get what I am thinking down because that shit changes quickly and when it’s gone it’s gone. But yeah, I am planning to focus on this blog from now on and you better make sure I stick to it because no matter what, I would love this blog to work and stay open for as long as I possibly can. Make sure you like, comment and follow so that you can stay updated about all the post I make that are going to be freaking awesome! I hope you have great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Humans Haven’t Evolved For Shit

Humans haven’t evolved for shit, well not in the way I would like. I would warn all the Ross Gellers, or people who actually understand this topic, to beware because this may cost you a few brain cells, but I do want to add I am not a Karen and I do believe in evolution, this is a joke.

Let’s Discuss It | New Borns

Whenever you grow up and someone says they have a “face only a mother could love”, that person is, one, a bitch, but two, speaking facts because, after the first time she sees her new-born baby, there is no way it can get any worse, so no matter what they look like when they grow… Continue Reading →

the christmas spirit is a curse, christmas, snow, winter, comforting

The Christmas Spirit Is a Curse

Whoever said Christmas is about giving, not receiving is fucking right because bitch do I GIVE! Now I ain’t tryna brag and be like oh my days I’m so unlucky that I have to/can spend money to get stuff for my family, but like I’m just saying that I am acting as though I’ve got… Continue Reading →

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I’m not above a fight

See, I don’t really like it when people are cheeky to me. I mean you can be upfront and shout at me and I’ll be fine with that. My sisters have conditioned me to that. But if you are being passive aggressive or cheeky in front of me or behind my back, I won’t hesitate to fight.

No this isn’t coming out of the blue guys, but something I did yesterday kinda got my blood boiling if you get me. Anyways, here I was at my friend’s house for moral support because I was about to call my work and be like “hey girl so for medical and educational reasons I’m not gonna be able to work more than 8 hours a week but obviously I can work more on holidays thanks”, and here my manager does the longest sigh ever, literally I could almost smell her stinking breathe it was that loud, and I was like shit what is about to happen. Then this bitch really stops the sigh and goes “that’s not really helpful for us”

😮 Did I ask?! No I think the fuck I didn’t so why the hell did you have to say that. Would you prefer I didn’t work any hours? Do you want me to quit because I’ll be more than happy to get out of this bitch. Like I actually don’t even like work. When I tell you I was shocked, I mean I was back-from-war-tazer-in-the-back shocked. I still am at the moment tbh.

But anyways, after that, I paused because I was in denial at that stage or something and then I was just like “Ummm well… It’s for medical reasons as well” because my doctor told me to say that so she legally couldn’t fire me for it (I also wouldn’t care if she did because then id use and never have to work again, I’m not too proud to miss that opportunity bitch) and here she was acting all nice again, miss cheeky bitch tryna get on my good side again. Like I actually have to go to work with her today and if she comes up to me and starts talking shit, I will happily throw hands. I mean I’m terrified of her too, let’s not get ahead of ourselves, but she barely knows me and doesn’t know how hard I can hit. BTW this is a joke don’t be calling the police

Anyways yeah that happened and it really made me realise how much I HATE, despise, loath, work. Do I get paid minimum wages to only get a 20 min break during illegal hours?! I think the fuck not. Like I have enough money saved to get my ass out of that hoe and I only stay cause I want my parents to be proud of me lol. But you have to admit what she said was petty uncalled for. Like it was not necessary. I actually despise the working world and it sucks the little bit of life and dignity inside of me.

So what do you guys reckon I should do? Quit or just realise that this is life. Also if anyone is like a law person, is there any way I could use for doing illegal hours with only a 20 minute break. I mean that would be ideal lol. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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2 COVID Tests and a Christmas in Quarantine

12 days ’til Christmas and my true love gave to me, a big fucking mess. I mean what the actual hell. Here I am with a bit of a sore head and a stuffy nose and then I take a wee lateral flow test before I go out to Ju-Jitsu but then the 2nd line… Continue Reading →

I Needed More Time In The Oven

Before you start calling child protection services, let me just clear something up. No, I am not the gingerbread man and no I am not in some weird family where instead of a naughty step I get the literal oven. What I’m referring to is the lack of basic features that I kinda feel were… Continue Reading →

After 7 Years I’m Not Sure My Pet Is A Dog

I know what you are thinking, “what the fuck does your dog look like”. But it isn’t because of that. She is literally the cutest thing you will ever see, well… apart from at the moment because she just got a haircut that made her hella ugly, but it’s fine it’ll grow back. The thing… Continue Reading →

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Sleepover Games Are Sh!t | Let’s Discuss It

Now, I can’t really talk for the guys on this topic because, being a girl, I have never been to a guys sleepover and no matter how old I am, my mother will never ever let me go to one. So if this is different for guys, if you even play sleepover games, do please comment below. I also want you to know that I am not talking about games as in COD or whatever the fuck it is you play now. I’m talking about the generic games like “would you rather” or “truth or dare”. NEVER pillow fights or some shit that movies make you think we do. It is not stylish at all. Not for me anyways. I sit in my baggiest clothes with my hair in a mess and a half dried facemask on that looks like I’ve got a weird skin infection. Not the nicest image is it lads?

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My thing with sleepover games is that they literally never end up the way you want them to. Like the person who is always like “omg lets play a game” obviously has something to say. It might just be they know something we havent told them or they want to get our attention. Like they’d be like

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Person 1 – “ok, let’s play truth or dare! Sarah, truth or dare”
Sarah – “mmm, dare”
P 1 – are you sure? I think I heard that you have to do a truth and then…
Sarah – nope, I’m picking a dare
P 1 – ok fine then. I DARE you to tell me why the fuck you were sleeping with my boyfriend!

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This isn’t talking from experience but like I know that it is like this for others. And even if it isn’t being played to attack someone, nobody ever has any fucking idea what to ask. Like we really only have one question and it either ends in 10 minute breaks between people asking the “would you rather” or you would be searching some up on google only to find that basically nobody on the internet knows any either. Sure you can find a few, but they are either so fucking bad that I would rather watch Riverdale, or so inappropriate that I could imagine a literally creepy old man writing them. Like I am comfortable around my friends but what the actual fuck is that.

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I can never think of questions and even when I do, depending on the game, I can’t even play it fairly because my twin is always in my friend group. So if I were to play 2 truths and a lie, I would only be able to play on certain ones and even then one of us might give it away or call me out for not telling the whole thing perfectly. It do be a problem and I remember in 1st year when we would do all the ice breaker shit and we did the 2 truths and a lie and when either of us was saying ours, the other would feel like such a main character. Just try to imagine a 13 year old smiling way to much trying to see if anyone notices that she knows the answer and can’t even play on this round. I felt so elite and would stare out the window as though it was such a struggle to exist under these rules where I couldn’t even participate in getting to know everyone. It’s hilarious to think back on but now, if we ever do it, it is annoying as fuck and if the teacher is like “oh, make sure you don’t give it away lol” I will quite literally leave the school.

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And I don’t know if this is just my friend group but like it always ends in us all having a really heart felt moment where we are all just letting out our deepest darkest secrets. It basically goes like this

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P1 – Never have I ever… peed in the woods
*everyone laughs*
P2 – OH MY DAYS you are sooooo silly
P3 – I don’t even want to answer that LOL

*1 hour later*

P2 – Never have I ever felt happiness since the day I saw my cat get run over
*drowning in tears*
P1 – I get you. We are here for you
P3 – Does it count if it was my nan instead of a cat?

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I do like that though because you get to know everyone better and it feels natural. Again having a twin makes that more awkward especially if you are talking about relationships because you don’t want to hear about their life outside of your world. Like it doesn’t sit right and it never will. Or like if you are talking about how you found something difficult and you tell a story, the other might be like “you are so dramatic that wasn’t even that bad” and they go on to say what happened despite the fact you both see things differently. And then afterwards it’s kind of like when you say bye to someone but then your car is in the same direction so it’s really awkward. I mean we literally did just expose ourselves and now I just have to see her every time I open my doors and it is awkward for a bit.

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Anyway, that is kinda what I had to say. If you have anything else that you would like to comment or add to this post, please do leave a comment because I love hearing from you guys. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Shocking Event That United The UK More Than Ever

Now I’m not someone who gets political, not even when it comes to Brexit taking our magic stars, but this phenomenon has to be mentioned. It is absolutely mental how this one thing has united the countries within the UK more than anything else. I feel we have actually joined as a team to create… Continue Reading →

which sense of humour do you have

Which Sense of Humour Do You Have?

I think that to start this post we need to figure out what the word “humour” really means. I’m no Oxford dictionary but in my opinion, it is the things we find funny and that we enjoy making/hearing jokes about. Nothing fancy just a basic bitch definition. I guess now that is out of the… Continue Reading →

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Back To School. Could I be bothered?

Back To School. Could I be bothered?

The answer is no, but it is also a bit more complicated than that. Do I like the first day of school where everything is new, you get the new time tables, new classes, new teachers? Yes, you could say that. But in general, I really could not be arsed to go back. Lately when I talk to my friends, they are all like “yeah I think I am ready to go back to school though and I’m ready to go back to normal school life and work”. And I’m just here like “yeah totally” but in reality I just don’t want to go back. Especially as we’ll have to do those shitty tests they make you do that really make no fucking sense. Like how do they test your smartness based of whether or not you know how many holes there will be in a folded piece of paper. Like it really is a load of shite. If I was a teacher and saw that someone couldn’t mentally fold a page into a swan or some shit, I wouldn’t be thinking he was dumb, I would think he has more important things to understand, and surprisingly origami isn’t one of them.

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I don’t know if my friends are a bunch of NERDS (jokes I love them) but they are prepared and talking about how they want to go back because we have been off so long and I just join in because I don’t want to be that one bitch that goes “I actually couldn’t give a shit if I were to never go back to school. Like I’m done with this hoe and I don’t want to start” because they would disown me. I think I’ll just go because I have nothing else to do and I don’t want to end up living at my parents house for the rest of my life and become the creepy auntie who is always way too drunk and getting way too close for comfort. And I always try to come up with these money making plans and they never turn out the way I want. I do keep going with them too be honest. I mean this blog was one of the attempts, but it is what it is and maybe some day I can drop out of school and do my own thing.

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I’m going into lower 6th, which is the second last year of high school, so it is the first voluntary year of school. So technically I don’t have to be there. I don’t really know what that is gonna do for my motivation because it could kinda be one of those situations where you are excited to do something but then when someone tells you to do it, you turn into a stubborn bitch and don’t want to do it anymore. Or maybe I just won’t try because there is no pressure of me having to go there. The one perk though is that we get a separate we area in the school that only the 6th years can go into because we are obviously the elite. And now we can be the intimidating ones that tower over all the first years and are best mates with all the teachers. Well, maybe not that last point because I am still socially awkward.

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We also only have to do 3 or 4 classes now which is good but I feel like it will still be just as much work and that makes me want to die. I picked 4 classes (chem, geo, business studies and Spanish) but I’m planning to drop one in the first month or so. It’s a good plan like so that if I find I don’t like one, most likely chemistry, I can drop it and not have to worry about it. But at the moment I can’t be arsed doing any and I’m scared I’m gonna hate them all or maybe drop the wrong one. It’s a possibility. And the first timetable I have won’t have as many study breaks and that might freak me out, but it will be fine right. It’s also gonna be so scary to tell a teacher that I want to leave their class. Like I don’t need to say it to them, but leaving implies I don’t like what they have devoted their life to. Likes like the biggest insult of all time. I am also shitting myself for the smaller classes. My Spanish class will defo be small and that is so scary because I will have to answer more and I can’t just hide in the back. What if everyone there is fucking annoying and I just have to vibe there for the next 2 years. What if we are the boring class that they hate to teach? What if I turn out to be shite at the subject?

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Maybe living in my parents house forever isn’t all that bad. Maybe I can be the fun drunk aunt who always buys the alcohol, takes you shopping, gives the best advice and shouts at your parents for doing anything other than worship us. Sounds fun like. Maybe if this blog blows up I could also just leave school but I won’t put that pressure on you guys lol. Anyways, I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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christmas controversy

The Century-Long Christmas Controversy

Merry Christmas to everyone!… except those who say happy Christmas. You can go to hell. I don’t really know what it is that possesses people to say “happy” Christmas but I don’t want it. Like it makes me shrivel up and die inside. I can actually hear the elves and Santa cry from the north… Continue Reading →

These Brands Are Getting Way Out Of Hand

Up until last month, I used to think that Corona was the worst thing that happened to us but fuck me this is 10 times worse. I mean I know the pandemic was tough but this has ruined my whole entire life and all of my memories. It makes me physically ill to talk about… Continue Reading →

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I Got My Results and I Feel…

I got my GCSE results yesterday and to be honest, I feel the same fucking way I felt last week. I mean there was no big sigh of relief or weight off my shoulders. I didn’t turn ecstatic, it was just another part of my day. Like it was literally just reading letters on a page. I did really well so it isn’t like my marks were the problem, but I just remember when I was in my first year and you would see all the old ones getting ready for GCSEs and getting the results later on and I would think they were the coolest people and it must be such a great time to see how you have done, but like I don’t know if it is because of corona or something, but it doesn’t seem that big. Like, it hasn’t affected me a lot and I never really was that worked up about it even before. I may have acted like it because everyone else was so excited but I didn’t really feel any different. It makes me sound ungrateful and I know that but it is true. It just doesn’t seem like such a big deal to me.

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Please, if someone got their results in the last few days, tell me if this is the same for you because I feel like it was a total anticlimax and I thought that something big was gonna happen and obviously it didn’t. Were my expectations too high? Was I too tired? Did I just not care? I mean even today, it is all in the past. You just move on. I don’t look at my grades and think of the great future I can have and how successful I can become with careers and shit. Like it was quite literally just a bunch of letters. That sounds like it was a really inspirational moment as well, as though it put everything into perspective, but it was just nothing you know.

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I also get awkward as fuck whenever people ask me what I got because I did well and I don’t want people to feel worse if they didn’t get what I did but still did awesomely and then I would look like that bitch feeling nothing for their results but overhyping their results. So I kinda just say I did well unless they specifically ask me what I got. It do be like that sometimes I guess. And my results are quite literally in among a pile of rubbish in my room and I know where they are like. They aren’t actually in the bin, but I always expected them to be like up on the fridge or like in a picture frame, but it is just there and I don’t give a shit about it.

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I called my granny on the day to tell her what I got and I swear she was more excited than me. Obviously, she wouldn’t be like “Ok?” and hang the phone up, but like I was just like yup. I didn’t fit the vibe check to say it in other terms. It was one of those moments where you are like “what now?”. I expect that to happen when I finish A levels or uni, if I even go, because what happens after you pass and everyone is like “well done” because you just go home and the world keeps spinning. Nobody else in the world is affected or knows of it and some people feel like their whole life has changed for good, but there are people just having a normal day. Seriously though, what did you do after graduating from university? Did you just go home and make yourself something to eat as usual? Did you wake up the next morning and have nothing much to do? I mean you have to start thinking about jobs and shit and actually making a living. It’s kind of just like another level of a game, just glorified. And I know this is probably dragging everyone done if they had a great day yesterday, but for me, that is how I feel. Just the same.

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I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Selfishness is Comforting

I know, I know, this sounds so bloody stupid but I swear that by the end of this post you will completely agree. Selfishness is comforting when you look at it in a particular way. And I’m almost certain that if you are someone who has hit rock bottom and ended up looking at motivational… Continue Reading →

A Hole I’ve Dug Way Too Deep

You know those situations that keep you up at night? Not the stuff that happened in the past, but the holes you have dug yourself that make your life a living hell. The moments that you wish you could wake up from. Yeah well, I am in one again and I’m terrified. I feel like… Continue Reading →

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The Olympics: Awkwardness Unlocked

So I was just watching the opening ceremony or the Olympics and I’m sorry but like how awkward would that be. Especially for the people that work there and just wave as they walk down and have to act as though people are watching them but like really nobody is. And then the actual athletes are walking down having to look hype and they have just worked all of their lives to get to this very moment that they might never have again and are now walking through an empty stadium with a bunch of people who are more focused on fucking demolishing you than they are actually interested in you. I especially feel bad for the countries that literally have 2 people in their group and they are always pretty much socially distancing themselves from each other. I mean surely if you only had that person in your team you would be pretty close or at least tolerate each other.

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Don’t get me wrong, what they are doing is absolutely awesome and I would never be able to get to that point but I would be pretty pissed if nobody was watching or cheering me on because that would really boost the ego. I guess that is unless you literally suck at it and land on your face when running or something. Even though you know millions of people are watching at home, it would be less embarrassing than thousands of people seeing you knock yourself out by tripping over your bloody laces. I think that at some points I would get so used to having nobody physically there watching me and I would end up doing something really embarrassing like singing and dancing to myself in the mirror and then I look next to me and there is a camera man absolutely pissing himself knowing he is gonna get bank for this. I would also have to do a few wee office moments where like if I didn’t win I would do a cheeky wee unbothered Jim side eye. I would also get so distracted by them and I know that they will always be there even when corona is a thing, but like now they are the only other things in the room and my short attention span would actually make me forget where I was and then I’d get a volleyball to the head or some shit.

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I would also get embarrassed because you know when they are doing the national anthem and they are proper looking in the sky while the cameras are going along a line videoing them and they are always so emotional but like I probably would be singing the wrong words or like feel as though I need to look at the camera and I would turn into some sort of meme with the caption “that creepy kid in the restaurant that keeps staring at you”. That isn’t even a joke. Do you reckon that they actually have to practice the national anthem or they already know it because I only know the first section of mine and then from their I am either bored as shit or just moving my lips but not making a noise. They probably do though. I actually do think that I would be trying hard not to laugh because I’ll just remember that one woman that absolutely butchered the American anthem because, although it isn’t my country’s anthem, it is absolutely fucking hilarious.

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I have to say, she isn’t a bad singer, she obviously got some skills but like for fuck sake, where was the need. Like honestly love. I wonder if she watched this back and was like why the fuck? Was she on crack or did she just love a cheeky wee remix. And the players where near pissing themselves. They did pretty good though because I know i’d be dying in the background. I kind of want to make this my alarm in the morning so I can wake up with great vibes. They aren’t lacking you gotta admit. And then at the end she was like “let’s play some basketball!” as though she really did something. Miss ma’am, you just slam dunked that anthem into the pits of hell, this ain’t no masterpiece bitch.

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This post got a bit off topic I think, but I guess what I wanted to say was that I feel bad for the Olympians this year and I hope they have a great time and sleep well on their cardboard beds. I also hope they get another chance next time so they can have the whole experience. Apparently it’s in Paris next time so I might have to have a wee scoot over because it ain’t a long flight from where I live. Maybe I’ll have a cheeky croissant or have a hot girl summer with the french dudes. But no matter what, and I mean no matter what, I am not gonna do the fucking tourist picture shit with the Eiffel tower. Did you know somebody actually married the Eiffel tower?! NO JOKE.

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And on that note, I will see you tomorrow. Thanks for being patient with my posts guys because I been kind of a busy bitch lately with work and all that going on. It’s a hard not life for a working woman who also hates being around anything and anyone 🙂 So yeah I’ll hopefully talk tomorrow and please don’t forget to subscribe so that you don’t miss the next one because I know you are gonna want to read it. I don’t know what it is yet but I know it’s gonna be great. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Are We Born Hypocrites?

This is quite literally an actual question because lately, I have been talking to a lot of people who go back on themselves and completely make themselves look like an idiot. Don’t get me wrong I have my moments where I’ve been unfair by telling people they can’t do something and then I go do… Continue Reading →

Let’s Discuss It | Parenting

It’s a bit ironic to have a literal kid (who has no kids) talking about parenting, but like I was just on a walk and it was kind of an existential kind of day and I was just thinking about how fucked up that shit is and how scary that must bloody be. Like it… Continue Reading →

I Have No Concept of Time At All

This is no joke guys. I have run into many awkward encounters because I have lost all concept of time. You know, I would have thought this was normal if we were in the middle of our first lockdown, but that ship sailed ages ago and I am back to a strict schedule and yet… Continue Reading →

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It’s All About Perspective

Ok guys, we aren’t about to get into some existential shit today because I don’t think I can take that at the moment, but I guess it kinda will be but like to a certain extent, so kinda just be warned about that but lets get started into it. This is another weekly reminder post but I am going to make it around the same vibe as my other posts because I find it hard to… write like I care. That sounds really mean but what I mean by that is that I struggle to not cringe when I try to write a post in an empathetic tone. I know I am disappointing my English teacher at the moment but like I don’t give a shit anyways. So sorry if you prefer reading things that are kinda sad, but I use humor to cope despite the fact my humor is crap so that isn’t the best but like we move. I also don’t know why I am typing all of this because I can guarantee that you don’t give a fuck. But yeah, I feel that when I try to write a post with an empathetic tone, I sound so fake, kinda like all the people in my school. Lets get into it anyways

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I saw this TikTok video yesterday and it was this girl that was replying to a comment that said “how are you so confident” and if I knew who that girl was I would shout her out but I don’t so like deal with it, but anyways, she was so… como se dice… perfect. Like she was a nice confident where she is outgoing but wouldn’t be like “fuck you” to every person who breathes near her. Anyways, that is besides the point, but she literally just said “because nobody fucking cares! In a couple of hundred years everyone on this earth will literally be dead and nobody will remember that thing you said or the clothes you wore or anything because it won’t carry on once we all die”. I mean unless you do something so awful like a proper historical downfall, you shouldn’t change for anyone. Like that person you are changing yourself for is gonna die and so are you so why are you trying to do something for them when eventually it won’t matter at all and you should live the life that you want when you have it.

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I always get a wee bit scared when I talk about doing whatever you want because it won’t mean shit in the future because I always feel people are going to use that as a reason for like killing someone or just doing something awful because “it won’t matter” but like don’t think I am saying that. I don’t want to be responsible for murder, but like you know what I mean. It is the things like caring what other people think about you and stuff like that. Trying to make others happy before yourself and that shit. We are all guilty of doing this and that’s fine because that is what we have learned and it isn’t our fault, but it is also ok because we can fix it, as long as it is for yourself. That is kinda why I like being single at this stage. I mean having someone that actually likes you must be nice, but I like the fact that I am free to fully figure myself out and think about myself as an individual and if a relationship comes from that then it is perfect. But from past experiences I know that having a partner can be kinda restrictive and, at least in my position, I always changed myself to be perfect for him and to not be myself. Maybe if you have a healthy relationship then that is different, but you need to think carefully about who you are with.

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And also, literally if that person remembers it for the rest of their life, maybe they laugh about how you panicked in a school play until the day they die, then that is only one life and you should move on with it because they will die one day and that is it. It won’t become a family tradition to carry on this story. And the embarrassing thing you did, you aren’t the first person to do that. I mean the earth is millions of years old and even in just the past 100 years, there have probably been millions of people that have done the same as you. What you also need to remind yourself is that if someone actually does hang onto that one thing you did ages ago and makes fun of it, they have no fucking life. I mean would a person who actually mattered focus on that thing everyday or would they move on with life and all the opportunities they will come to have. And the people who remember it and therefore have no life, shouldn’t worry you because it doesn’t make you less than them and you know the only reason they remember that is because they have made it their whole personality trait and that is the only bit of information they can actually keep in their pea sized brain.

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So yeah, I hope this boosted your confidence in some way and that you can come to terms with the reality of life and how eventually, just like humans, rumors will die. Stories die and you aren’t weird or dumb for what you did. But yeah, just don’t give a shit and you will be good I guess. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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Disney’s Deep Message Behind ‘The Little Mermaid’

I think we all gotta learn from Arial’s mistakes. No, not ‘don’t brush your hair with a fork’ but something else a lot deeper (pun not intended) that all the ladies out there gotta hear about. Btw this is in no way me tryna be a Karen and ‘cancel’ Disney, it’s just a good example… Continue Reading →

What Comes After 21?

If you are like me, an overthinker, you will most likely understand this question immediately. And no, the answer is a little more complicated than 22. I swear if I get a comment like that I will literally erase my existence. Anyways, for those who don’t really get what I mean, let me tell you…. Continue Reading →

Emotion Comes In Shades

What do I mean when I say “Emotion comes in shades”? No, I don’t associate colours with certain feelings, what I mean is that emotions aren’t so black and white. There are layers, different forms of emotions. It’s more deep than just sad, happy or confused. And I think that is what people find difficult… Continue Reading →

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What To Expect When Starting High School – Story Time Part 4

I remember in P7, the last year of primary school, for those who don’t live in the UK, me and my friends were like ‘I can’t wait to start high school and then we will be so grown up, we can revise and not be bored all the time’. Yes I literally said it will be fun to revise because I won’t be so bored all the time. I mean that is next level ignorance. Just like… what the hell was I bloody thinking because I would do anything to never have to revise again. So today’s ‘what to expect’ I am going to debunk some of the expectations I had when I was in primary school.

Revision

Let’s dive a wee bit deeper into this one. So, as you just read, I was looking forward to revision because I thought I would feel mature and not waste time. No. Just no. Revision humbles you so quickly. You will realise that you have no fucking clue what the hell you are supposed to do. You will find out that you have no clue how to revise, no clue what the hell is happening in class, and no clue how to concentrate. Me, someone in 5th year of school, who is supposed to do their GCSEs, some of the most important exams in their life, still doesn’t know how they revise best. I mean in 1st year they try to teach you different ways to revise and literally batter you if you try to just rewrite your notes. I mean what the hell am I supposed to do. I can’t memorise 1000 bloody mnemonics for every bloody subject. Warning though, you will be told the weirdest rhymes and maybe the will work for you, they sometimes work for me but they are literally such a joke. I will literally be in the exam saying ‘Jane Found An Old Lady In The Bin’. As if I am not distracted enough, now I have these weird images in my head.

Maturity

When you go into high school in 1st year, promise me, you will feel like the bees knees. It is a big jump like and you feel like you are the ones who are ‘2 cool 4 school’. NO. Just NOOOOO. To everyone else you are a literal foetus and you are basically the wee children that your mum forces you to hang out with because she is drinking wine with the mums. You yourself will feel mature as hell but trust me, you aren’t. When you get older you will look at the first years and die inside because you realise you were once one of them. It is such a gross feeling. Just because you walk around for your next class doesn’t mean you are top notch. And it is so annoying when people just act as though they earned their place just for being in 1st year, when in reality everyone just thinks you are obnoxious. You have to realise that you are still young, and that is fine, but just realise that these people have been there longer than you and don’t need you to act as though you rule the place.

High School Musical

I don’t know if this is true for American school, but in the UK, the ‘team spirit’ is none existent. I always thought that everyone in your year would be so close and best mates. No. School life is not all rainbows and butterflies. The school building is most likely falling apart as we speak. It quite literally is like a prison. Grey walls, rows of chairs and tables, people shouting and fighting. The canteen is like a war zone. Their is no room for dancing or singing and if there was, you would be beat up, possibly by the teachers. Sometimes there are moments in school and everyone can relate to each other. But this is very rare and can sometimes still be a divided place. Like when their is a rugby match you are all allowed to watch, or if they do a charity colour run. But again, this doesn’t always happen and you should be careful. And it is so funny in high school musical because like Sharpay will have her locker all decorated and wears extravagant clothes and over the top stationary. You know what, I dare you to bring that stuff in, that will be so hilarious. Well, for me. Just don’t decorate your locker. And if you have one or two pieces of ‘original’ stationary then that’s OK but just don’t come in with a literal fluffy pencil or something like that.

Concentration

Nah, I am not talking about the hand game ‘concentration’. I am talking about the most difficult thing to do. I always thought that the hour long lesson would go by so quickly because it is all different subjects and it will be interesting stuff. Damn, I really was dumb as fuck LOL. This is true for some subjects though, only if you like them, but for others, as soon as you step into the classroom, your mind will switch on and any time they want you to do some actual work, it will be one of the hardest things to do. I have never actually fallen asleep in class myself but I know a lot of people who have and to be honest I don’t blame you. Especially for classes that literally will not help you in the future in any way. The first couple of days are fine because you are just settling in and doing absolute fuck all but then your motivation will literally die. You will have to kind of just get over it but if you do kind of just zone out, let it happen because I mean it do be like that sometimes.

Thank you so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed this part of the series. Please like, follow, and donate some money if you can so that I can keep all of my content free for everyone. You should check out some of discounts too and an app I found for making money because you will quickly discover that you are broke in high school. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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