I Hate To Be That Bitch But…

You guys have to agree with me when I say that a lot of things we do nowadays is heavily judged. Like there are a lot of things that people aren’t willing to admit they do because people will laugh at them and call them a basic bitch or a pick me type of person. Don’t get me wrong, there are a few things that mean that you are definitely that type of person but like some things are a bit of a stretch. So yeah, I guess I will expose myself today and show you some of the things that make me “that bitch”.

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Starbucks

Being a blonde teenage girl, I feel like I am already set up to get judged 10 times more than others because you know, I look like the dumb blonde whose only personality trait is sipping iced coffee obnoxiously loud in class. But like I do love myself a wee iced coffee. It doesn’t have to be Starbucks I guess but Starbucks is the place you usually get judged for going to. Especially on holidays when you are literally sweating your ass off and you step into the cafe with a gust of cool air hitting you and the sound of the coffee machine. It is literally so good. I don’t know why but I love the sound of the coffee machines in cafes. So you can call me a basic bitch for liking a cheeky wee Starbucks iced coffee on a nice warm day because I won’t stop for nobody PERIODT

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Water

We are kinda focusing on the drinks today aren’t we but they are important ones to mention I think. I love water. I don’t know why but like water really hits different. When you are absolutely parched, you don’t reach for a bloody coke no matter what the ads show. You go for a freaking water and that shit is amazing. Like even at a restaurant, I might be that girl who orders water. That is partially because I am broke but like I do enjoy water. But then the one time that I do get a fizzy drink or something, there will be that one adult who is like “oooh, teens and their cokes these days, can’t get them off it”. And you just stare at them like “this isn’t fucking cocaine, like I haven’t had one in ages. I don’t have a bloody mini fridge of things like other teens do”. So yeah, I guess I’m just quirky lol. Forget I ever said that last part that was a joke lol. But despite the fact people think it is boring to like drinking water and every time you get it instead of a monster energy drink you are literally shunned from the friend group. And you know what, I am not taking it any longer. You all know that water is the best.

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Dishes

This one is kind of a different one because I don’t really think that a lot of people my age will relate to this but I actually like doing the dishes. It is just like so relaxing when you are doing something while just watching something on your phone and it is nice to see the pile of dirty dishes go down and then you put stuff away and it is very visually gratifying. I always like to see the results happen you know. And I bet that some guy is gonna be in the comments like “well it’s in a woman’s nature” and to that I say shut the fuck up and I am only one woman and I know that probably a majority of us don’t like it but we aren’t gonna get all political here sorry about that. But the one thing that I hate about doing dishes is when people keep putting dirty dishes in the pile and I’m like where was the fucking need. I mean since when did you have a whole fucking IKEA in your bedroom? I also hate afterwards when you have to clean the drain and there are pieces of disgusting food at the bottom. Literally the bane of my existence. I think that one of the worst punishments would be being in a bath and there are bits like those in it and so you can feel it all over. That would be hell

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Ed Sheeran

I know this one is about to get controversial but I swear that one day Ed Sheeran was just completely cancelled and I really have no clue why. Like I see so many things saying that people who still listen to Ed Sheeran are weirdos or they wouldn’t be caught dead listening to him but like some of his music is good. I mean would I be a crazy fan girl and buy his hair on eBay? No. But do I listen to some of the absolute classics? Hell yeah. Someone please explain what he did because I don’t know why I am supposed to be embarrassed for listening to him. He is a good singer too so that can’t be it. I swear to god, if it is because he is ginger!! Literally that would be so hilarious but like it’s 2021 guys, we gotta start getting over that ok.

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I Don’t Cry at Movies

This one might seem normal at first. Like there are people who just don’t cry at some things and that’s fine, right? Well, what if I told you I didn’t tear up at “The Notebook”, “The Boy In The Stripped Pajamas” or “Marley and Me” but I did cry at “Moana”, “Inside Out” and “Little Women”. Yup, kinda a weird mix. And you know the 3 that I just said I cried at, those are the ONLY movies I have ever cried at. Well, excluding the time I probably cried at bob the builder because I was forced to watch it over and over as a baby. Bob the builder is such a show though you have to admit. But no, everyone says I have a heart of stone because while they are over there buried in tissues, I’m in the corner making fun of them. You do have to admit though, whenever Moana’s grandma dies it is so fucking sad and then when she comes back as a fucking fish and starts singing. Moana could have sailed in my tears bitch.

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Anyways, I think that is all that I will mention for today. Don’t forget to leave a comment if you relate to any of these things or if you do things that others may judge you about. We probably all do it so like don’t even be worrying and even if we don’t, there is no judgment here. But yeah, like, follow and comment if you enjoyed this content and, if you can, feel free to donate some money in the box down below to help the blog keep going. Anything is appreciated. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Things That Make Me Feel Stupid (well, more than usual)

We love a good self-deprecating post. It is kinda fun though because it is easy and I can say anything I want about myself and I won’t offend anyone, unless you are literally the exact same as me. Multiverse?! But yeah, some of these things are kinda basic but, being a person with a typical low self esteem, I feel a lot of things make me feel stupid. I’ll only list a few things today though so I don’t make myself look like an actual idiot. This is just for the lols as well guys so don’t get too offended or like anything like that.

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Paint-by-numbers

Can You Color Inside the Lines? Yes No What Did You Expect ...

This one doesn’t make me feel so much as stupid as it does untalented. Like I really have 0 talents and it shines through in paint by numbers. My mum got me one and it is really fun and I enjoy it like, but I don’t know if my hands are too shaky but I can not keep it neat and I can’t keep it even either, like you can tell there is more paint in some parts. I can also tell that art is not my strong point because I just can’t figure out how much paint I need for a certain bit and I end up getting none on my brush for a big section and then literally the whole wee tub for a tiny section. You do have to admit though it can be quite hard when you have the little bits and, me already being quite blind, has to go right up to the picture as though I am freaking lying down or some shit. Do you guys get that in school where you like realise that when you are writing your face gets so close to the table and you are like when the fuck did that happen. I always find that and get super embarrassed because there really is no need for me to do that.

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Another thing about paint-by-numbers that I know every fucking one of you understands is how hard it is to open the lids of the paint. Like they are so tiny and literally hurt and you are scared it is just going to go flying everywhere when you do. I am better than a few years ago I must say but like some are so hard and I really do feel defeated by a piece of plastic. It defo fits into the same category as that other packaging that knives or scissors are in and can only be cut with knives and scissors so you are screwed because the thing you need to open it is the thing that you are trying to get out. As you can tell, this is quite a passionate topic for me

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Conversations

How to talk to people | Steven Universe | Know Your Meme

This happened like literally 10 times yesterday and I know a lot of you guys, if not everyone, will feel the same way. There are a few things withing this category that I want to mention, the first being that you can’t understand what the person is saying and you ask them again and again and eventually just go off their cues. Like I had asked my friend to repeat herself twice already and then I saw she smiled so I was like “aha oh really” and like nodded my head and smiled. She could have been saying absolutely anything and I would have no clue. Then you just awkwardly stop talking because you don’t know what to say after and you spend the rest of the day trying to figure out what they say. And sometime when this happens and you think they said something but you are like what does that mean so you say what you think they said out loud and they are like what the fuck that isn’t what I said lol and then when you hear yourself say it you realise you are so dumb and it was so obvious. Like say my friend was talking about cinema’s or whatever and I was like “who’s cinema” and then I would be like that was so stupid. That was actually the worst example I could have used lol but we move.

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Another thing that makes me feel stupid is when you are having a conversation and you either can’t pay attention to what they are saying for some reason or you can’t keep track of it and despite the fact you were listening, you don’t know where that part of the convo came in. It is so hard though whenever you can’t pay attention to someone who is talking but you want to and then you are thinking too much about trying to listen that you can’t actually remember what they just said but now they are asking you a question that gives no indication of what we were talking about like “what do you think” and you just panic. That literally happened to me at my job interview and I nearly shit myself. And then when you get into the position of not understanding when that part of the convo went in and you have to ask so many questions that they probably just explained like “so what was that cat? Whose was it? When and where did you find it?” And you realise you just asked the whole fucking backstory that doesn’t even matter and then sometimes you still don’t know what they are on about

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Drinking

The best sobriety memes : stopdrinking

When I say drinking, I don’t mean like alcohol or whatever, I just mean the action of drinking. I just can never seem to understand basic physics in the moment I am drinking from a bottle. The number of times I drank too much and had to literally drown for a second so I didn’t spit anything out is actually ridiculous. It happened so much on online school too because my camera was off, luckily, and I was bored as fuck so I would just be looking into space and the only thing I could do was drink more water and then I just didn’t grasp that if I picked up the bottle quickly and brought it to my mouth then a wave of water would happen and end up going all over me. It was so humiliating despite the fact I was the only one in the room. Do you think that someone has actually died from swallowing too much water and literally not being able to breathe. It hurts to doesn’t it. And I always seem to miss my mouth when drinking out of a glass and I am like “hmm why is there water going down my top” and then I’m like oh cause I’m an idiot. What I also hate is when you just took a drink of water and someone makes a joke and you have to literally fight for your life to not spit it out everywhere. You literally look like a puffer fish and it is not ideal.

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“Child Geniuses” The TV Show

Me irl | Child genius, Student memes, Top memes

This is one of the examples where it makes me feel dumb but I am glad I’m not one of them. Like I genuinely feel bad for those kids because they defo have no friends or spend time doing normal stuff and they will become depressed and like become a hippy. That is true though. I mean great if you child is smart but like why put them in a competition that, if they doesn’t win, will make them think they are dumb but they really just aren’t. And some of the things they have to do aren’t even good for life. Even some school subjects are more useful than what they do. They have to fucking learn the order of a deck of cards and like all of the streets in London which is literally one of the hardest tests and adults struggle to do it. And the spelling bee… don’t get me started. I had to use auto-correct to spell geniuses. That is no joke. The spelling bee is better though but literally makes me feel dumb as fuck. It also cracks me up though. They are so proud of themselves and literally spell the most fucked up words. Iridocyclitis

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Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this post and if you did don’t forget to like, follow and comment what else makes you feel stupid and see if anyone else can relate. But yeah, I’m going to go a do things that make me feel a bit smarter than usual like watching Dora the explora. I can always find the things before she does, lazy bitch. But yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow for even more. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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Read some more posts

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My Honest Opinion On Public Transport | Hint – NOT Ideal

I feel like a common theme with my content and the titles is that they all seem like I am about to go into some political talk as though I am about to rant about taxes or other Karen shit, but like it really isn’t, so I don’t know if I attract the wrong audience with it. I can imagine a bunch of middle aged women getting their hair pumped up at the back, like the typical Karen’s do, and getting ready to take notes on the topic so they too can complain about public transport or some shit. And if that does happen to be you, you are gonna be disappointed because it is just my opinion and for a bit of a laugh. I do honestly think public transport is great because of global warming and all that, but like that is the most political thing I am gonna be saying in this post so like I’m sorry to disappoint I suppose lol. I’m gonna go through each form 1 by 1 just because… well I don’t know why but I just am and I don’t know why I am telling you but lets just roll with it.

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Trains

In all honesty, I love a good train. I think it is my favorite form because it is more relaxed kind of but still not very relaxed. I don’t know why though but they stress the shit out of me and I actually do know why so let me explain. I hope I don’t sound insane, but I also feel the same way about roller coasters which is that I kinda forget that a human controls them and they aren’t just on a time limit. And what I mean by that is that when I go on a roller coaster I get really stressed that the people aren’t going to get to me quick enough so they won’t be able to check my harness, when in reality, they control it and only start it when everyone is on. It isn’t like they have to get it all done in 5 minutes and if somebody isn’t strapped in right then that’s too bad. I feel the same way about the train too, so I feel that if the people getting in first take too long, they will just shut the doors and leave but like people control it so they wouldn’t do that unless they were like bunged up. So that is kinda stressful I suppose.

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These are good though because they are quick and usually not too disgusting and they are quick too. Kinda nice vibes as well ad make you feel kinda grown up but like I wouldn’t be wanting to go on at night because, as a woman, I don’t think that would end well for me but like oh well. I think I made another post not long ago talking about how the train conductors are also really scary usually and act as though they have been pissed off since the day they were born, but like you just ignore them I guess and you are fine. Sometimes you can get lucky where they don’t get to you in time so you don’t have to pay and that is an added bonus like. Another thing I also get stressed about is getting onto the train and also just the train platform. I remember the first time I went on the train alone and my mum was waiting at the platform until the train left and she was in front of the yellow line and I was so panicked even when the train wasn’t moving. I was acting as though she was about to get sucked under the train just because she was close to it. I still kinda get scared of that. And when you get onto the train and have to walk over the gap to get in, I always feel as though, somehow, my phone or whatever I am holding, is going to fall in and then I will never get it back. I don’t always feel like I will fall in, but like I have to hold onto everything for dear life because I think it is somehow going to propel itself under the train. How embarrassing would that be if I did though. I always feel like I left something on the train too even when I literally didn’t bring anything onto it lol.

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Bus

This is hands down my least favourite public transport. Like what the actual fuck I hate it so much. It is stressful enough when I have to get on it to go to school because I feel like I will get on the wrong one and end up in Russia or some shit. And the time table, like I just don’t trust it. You have to make sure that you get on the right one and when you do there are barely any seats so you have to end up sitting or standing next to the druggy who smells like actual shit. And even if you do get a seat they are always so dirty and infested with like 100 different viruses. It is so stressful as well when you get on and they just start moving the bus when you are still paying or just getting to your seat and you are literally flailing everywhere. It’s as though your drunk or something and they always suddenly stop and send you flying into someone. I always get scared that they will not stop at my stop for some reason.

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My school bus for going home is literally shit. There are no seats, there are first years running around and shouting everywhere and you can’t even tell them to shut the fuck up, the drivers have anger issues and they sometimes put up the wrong fucking number so they drive a different way and you are like am I getting kidnapped lol. And if they do take the right way at the start, they fucking miss the last stop and we are like “umm where are you going” and they act as though they don’t know shit and are like “where was I supposed to go” and then take a bloody one hour detour just to turn around. It is so stressful and packed and they never have the heaters on in winter but in summer they seem to work and the air conditioning is broken. I hate buses with a passion and I always will

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Taxi

I don’t really know if they are included in the public transport category but they need mentioned anyways. They aren’t too bad like but why does it have to be so awkward and expensive and also kinda embarrassing when you have to take one because you were late to school. When you get one you have to sit there awkwardly or just engage in small talk that makes you want to pull your eyeballs out. The people driving are usually quite nice though and the actual car is nice and clean which is a good touch. I don’t live in New York so like these aren’t any crappy yellow ones. You have to call the company to send someone over and they are nice and all so that isn’t the bad part but why the fuck are they so bloody expensive. Like I guess you have to pay for gas and it is more private but like for fuck sake. You just look at the meter going up every second and you get a fucking heart attack. Sitting in traffic wondering if you can afford to get home. Like what if you don’t have enough money to pay for it all because it is more than expected? Do you just walk away or what

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I remember in primary school we went in taxis to go to things like swimming and school trips and we thought we were the bees knees. Especially if the teacher didn’t go in your car and it was just your mates and the driver. There was this one time though when it was just me, my friends and the driver and we got in and the teachers were taking role or whatever and then our driver just drove straight away because the car was full and we were like what the fuck because nobody else had left. The guy was really nice but like on the edge of scary but like he did get us to the place but then 10 minutes after, our teacher finally got there and was like what the fuck because she though we were getting kidnapped or some shit because she didn’t tell the driver to go yet. Kinda fun times I suppose. You would have to be dumb to kidnap someone in a taxi though, pretty obvious like.

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Planes

I do love a good plane, don’t get me wrong. I mean I love the vibes, it is quiet and you can relax. It is quick and you get the best shows in the world, the safety briefing. But what the fuck is up with the food. Who pissed off the cooks to make them prepare this. I don’t mind the snacks and stuff like the muffins or tea because those are fine, but like I remember I was flying over to america from Northern Ireland and I had pasta or something and it was absolutely awful. Just the texture was so bad. It was all one texture and that was slimy. The chicken was literally rank, the pasta was near dripping and I got off the plane feeling like shit. The people on the plane were kinda cheeky and stuck up though but it might just be because it as a long flight or there were annoying customers, but even at the start you could tell they wanted to throw you out the plane. The first movie is always the most exciting because you are like “ooh, I’m watching a movie in the air on the way to holiday, how fun” but after you are all cramped, you are bored, always interrupted, you need to pee but don’t want to go past anyone and you still have hours left. So while I do prefer a plane to a boat, they can get a bit old very quickly. They are more relaxed though especially when at the airport because you have you plain time called every hour, there is a clear sign about it, there are shops that are way over priced but good for looking around and it is honestly a vibe. I love people watching, not in a creepy way, so it is cool to see how people are literally going everywhere in the world. And if you just sit at the seats near your terminal, you will be sure to never miss your plane, so good times all around.

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I remember the first time that I went on a plane without my parents and it was just me and my twin going over to England. The flight over was totally fine and kinda fun, but on the way back I was near in tears because, as you may know, I am quite the anxious person and we had gotten to our terminal with pretty much no bother and when we got there we sat for a bit and this guy was coming around checking the size of peoples bags. Ours had gotten through before so we were like we’ll be fine. Spoiler alert, we weren’t. It was the same airline, the same bags, the same stuff in it and the bag wouldn’t go in by like 1 mm. And I was like, we are never gonna get on this plane, we are going to be stranded here, I am never going to see my family again and the worker was talking about how it was too big and I was like but it got in before and he was like “not it didn’t” and I was like “bitch yes the fuck it did” and then he started talking about having to pay £30 to get it on the plane and I was like “we don’t have that much money with us” because we had just finished our trip and hadn’t brought much in the first place. And by that point I was panicking a lot inside and could only hear more about having to pay and i kept just saying “we can’t do that. We can’t afford that” and apparently by that point he was explaining that is what you normally had to do but he would let us off, so I defo looked like I was hiding something when in reality I was literally dying inside. That has traumatised me a wee bit, but as long as I just go with someone else for the rest of my life, I should be fine.

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Anyways, I would talk a bit about boats but like, in summary, they are boring and scary, so there you go. I also feel like I have gone on long enough and I am boring myself. But please comment down below if you liked this and whether you feel the same way or have had another bad experience to tell. Don’t forget to like and follow for even more content like this and to check out my other posts. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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It’s All About Perspective

Ok guys, we aren’t about to get into some existential shit today because I don’t think I can take that at the moment, but I guess it kinda will be but like to a certain extent, so kinda just be warned about that but lets get started into it. This is another weekly reminder post but I am going to make it around the same vibe as my other posts because I find it hard to… write like I care. That sounds really mean but what I mean by that is that I struggle to not cringe when I try to write a post in an empathetic tone. I know I am disappointing my English teacher at the moment but like I don’t give a shit anyways. So sorry if you prefer reading things that are kinda sad, but I use humor to cope despite the fact my humor is crap so that isn’t the best but like we move. I also don’t know why I am typing all of this because I can guarantee that you don’t give a fuck. But yeah, I feel that when I try to write a post with an empathetic tone, I sound so fake, kinda like all the people in my school. Lets get into it anyways

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I saw this TikTok video yesterday and it was this girl that was replying to a comment that said “how are you so confident” and if I knew who that girl was I would shout her out but I don’t so like deal with it, but anyways, she was so… como se dice… perfect. Like she was a nice confident where she is outgoing but wouldn’t be like “fuck you” to every person who breathes near her. Anyways, that is besides the point, but she literally just said “because nobody fucking cares! In a couple of hundred years everyone on this earth will literally be dead and nobody will remember that thing you said or the clothes you wore or anything because it won’t carry on once we all die”. I mean unless you do something so awful like a proper historical downfall, you shouldn’t change for anyone. Like that person you are changing yourself for is gonna die and so are you so why are you trying to do something for them when eventually it won’t matter at all and you should live the life that you want when you have it.

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I always get a wee bit scared when I talk about doing whatever you want because it won’t mean shit in the future because I always feel people are going to use that as a reason for like killing someone or just doing something awful because “it won’t matter” but like don’t think I am saying that. I don’t want to be responsible for murder, but like you know what I mean. It is the things like caring what other people think about you and stuff like that. Trying to make others happy before yourself and that shit. We are all guilty of doing this and that’s fine because that is what we have learned and it isn’t our fault, but it is also ok because we can fix it, as long as it is for yourself. That is kinda why I like being single at this stage. I mean having someone that actually likes you must be nice, but I like the fact that I am free to fully figure myself out and think about myself as an individual and if a relationship comes from that then it is perfect. But from past experiences I know that having a partner can be kinda restrictive and, at least in my position, I always changed myself to be perfect for him and to not be myself. Maybe if you have a healthy relationship then that is different, but you need to think carefully about who you are with.

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And also, literally if that person remembers it for the rest of their life, maybe they laugh about how you panicked in a school play until the day they die, then that is only one life and you should move on with it because they will die one day and that is it. It won’t become a family tradition to carry on this story. And the embarrassing thing you did, you aren’t the first person to do that. I mean the earth is millions of years old and even in just the past 100 years, there have probably been millions of people that have done the same as you. What you also need to remind yourself is that if someone actually does hang onto that one thing you did ages ago and makes fun of it, they have no fucking life. I mean would a person who actually mattered focus on that thing everyday or would they move on with life and all the opportunities they will come to have. And the people who remember it and therefore have no life, shouldn’t worry you because it doesn’t make you less than them and you know the only reason they remember that is because they have made it their whole personality trait and that is the only bit of information they can actually keep in their pea sized brain.

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So yeah, I hope this boosted your confidence in some way and that you can come to terms with the reality of life and how eventually, just like humans, rumors will die. Stories die and you aren’t weird or dumb for what you did. But yeah, just don’t give a shit and you will be good I guess. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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To All The TikTokers That Are Fighting Each Other…

Lately, since the whole Logan Paul and KSI fight or whoever it was, all tiktokers and youtubers have literally been fighting for no fucking reason. I mean at the start it was fun you know, like it was new and exciting, like a relationship. But also like a relationship, they get old and you realise the person you are with is quite stupid and irrelevant. You start to realise they are not actually interesting and you only liked them when it was new but now you realise they are not all that they seem. Who the fuck can actually keep up with all the fights going on? Like honestly I feel like I am back in primary school watch two kids flail their arms at each other and crying. Like it is really embarrassing and not the big of a deal. So what you can beat up another guy from the street? That literally doesn’t prove anything other than the fact you have no life so waste all your time training to win some shit contest.

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To be honest though, I have grown to respect Logan Paul more because his brother, Jake Paul, is an actual twat. What the fuck was the whole “gotcha hat” shit. I mean where was the need? What mental health issues do you have to think that people would respect you for that? And then it meant he couldn’t watch his brothers match which he trained a lot for. I mean I still don’t watch Logan Paul because I am not a 10 year old boy, but at least he is more mature. And don’t even get me fucking started on fucking Bryce Hall! Like it frustrates me so much for some reason. He really thinks he is the bees knees and when he literally stuck up his middle fingers at the guy he was going to fight, it literally looked like he was going to shit himself, like literally shit himself. It just bugs me so much how they think people really care that much.

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To be honest, I don’t even know a lot of the people who are fighting and that kinda just shows they are doing it for the publicity. It’s hardly like if Bryce won I would be like “yes, absolute dream boy I love him” because no, he is still a bad person. Like I don’t like him. When will they stop though for real. They aren’t professional and although I respect the determination, why don’t you just handle it some other way other than just making a fool of yourself. Just go back to the dis-tracks because at least those were funny and say what we all were thinking. Nobody cares if you can beat someone up or knock someone down when they are off guard and you look like a target employee, like literally grow up please. And I do know this will really annoy some people, mostly 10 year old kids, but like they are so annoying and it doesn’t get them anywhere. Why don’t they fight a real boxer who isn’t retired instead of either retired boxers, wrestlers or just random influencers. Make it make sense please.

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Do you know what does crack me up about it though? The fact that they really think they are doing something! They really think they are adored and hilarious. Their egos are built up so high that people are beginning to climb up it and put fucking flags at the top. They really don’t need that. They think that whoever can scream the loudest and get their face closest to the camera are elite. They walk around as though they are about to take someones lunch money but I honestly think if they came up to me I could literally flick them and they would explode. End of the world? And at the interview after they act as though they didn’t just beat up a retired or unprofessional man. Like you really didn’t do much. They try to act like the pros as well. Jake Paul really does be trying to be Conor Mcgregor and it could be a comedy skit, no joke. To be fair, the acting is good but it is fucking obvious, so maybe get your own personality for once.

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And just incase Jack Paul, Bryce Hall and whoever is dragged into this shit (apart from KSI and stuff who are actually respectful) reads this and gets worked up about it. I ain’t gonna fight you. Like you are defo gonna come to my house and start something but I don’t give a flying fuck bitch. I kinda hope they do read this though because that would be hilarious in all honesty. Watch them come out with a sad video called “I’m taking a mental health break” as though we are about to fall in love with them.

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Anyways, this was kind of an immature post but I feel like I just needed it off my chest and that other’s will probably relate to it as well, but make sure to like, comment and follow if you enjoyed this and want more comedy content like this. Check out some of my other posts that are a bit different to this one and I will see you again tomorrow with a new post. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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Could I Be Bothered? | Part 4

I feel like a lot of people will understand me when I say that there are things that people can literally just talk about and that makes you feel exhausted or just unmotivated to do that thing despite the fact you aren’t even going to do it but the thought of it is so horrible you want to cry? That is a bit of a weird introduction but you know what I mean, right? Like if someone was like “oh my god do you remember that time you went kayaking for ages and your arms and legs and everything were exhausted and then you had to do a 10K walk afterwards?” By the way, that was targeted at my dad and I am still mentally recovering from it. But whenever I remember that it is as if I get PTSD from it and literally get so scared at the thought that I did that. I don’t really know where I am going with this intro but I am going to stop now and we can start talking about things that make me physically and mentally fed up.

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Camping

Funny Camping Memes 2020 - Run Bryan Run

As a white family, we did some messed up shit. Like that might sound racist but I have seen videos of POC who are like “white people are messed up” and I agree with that because my family just be going outside in the middle of nowhere to shit in a fucking forest and sleep with the bloody insects. We used to do this a lot and I guess it was fun with my friends but like now that I have half a brain and am not made to enjoy things, I really do hate camping. I’m sorry but I just don’t see the point. You gotta pack and carry a bunch of shit and bring in to the middle of nowhere or go to a cramped site with a bunch of kids screaming and people being actually active and going on walks at like 5 in the morning and, while there are toilets, they are so stinking I feel like I contracted 10 diseases just by washing my hands. To be fair, I don’t mind if I set up a tent in my back garden, but if you expect me to bring fucking sleeping bags and a fire starter, I will in fact run away. So I can not be bothered to go camping. I would prefer to look at the stars from the comfort of my bed, looking through the window or standing outside for a sec while the kettle is on thank you very much.

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Small Talk

SMALL TALK MEMES image memes at relatably.com

I’m sorry but we need to normalise going straight to the deep stuff. And that doesn’t mean “what is your star sign” because at that point I would walk away, but I mean instead of being like “the weather is crap today isn’t it lol”, why can’t we just be like “What is your favorite childhood memory”. I know that sounds creepy as fuck and I definitely wouldn’t just go up to someone and say that, but like I hate small talk. It is so cringey and awkward and it very rarely leads to anything. We can hardly go like “yeah the weather is crap, but do you know what else is crap? The cats movie” and then go off on a whole tangent because to me it seems desperate. It is also awkward starting off small talk. I know it is kinda just to fill in the awkward silence but I honestly hate starting a small talk convo because you just be like “sooo… how are you” like what the fuck is that.

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Raising a Child

Memebase - raising kids - All Your Memes In Our Base ...

To be fair, I am a wee bit away from this happening to me… I hope, and my mind will probably change but does it not sound so scary to have to push a fucking human out and then one day they just kick you out of hospital and you and whoever your partner is are just standing like, what the fuck do we do now. This is the start of their fucking life. There isn’t a big change in the world, sparkles and rainbows don’t magically appear. You have to somehow understand what the baby wants by its crying, unless you are one of those people who can somehow communicate with babies or whatever harry potter, 6th sense, fairy-tale shit you have. And I’m really sorry if I am freaking out some pregnant person out there, I am sure you will be great, but like it could not be me. You need to make sure they are fed, they are breathing, they sleep, they shit everywhere, they get bored, they cry, they live. They are a freaking tiny human and you are making up a personality and a life for this baby. It sounds awesome but like what if they turn out like a prick. What if your child is a prick or just really annoying and creepy and now you have a literal annoying person living with you and if you say anything, they turn into rebellious teens and you are just waiting until they turn 18 but that is a long fucking time. But yeah, good luck to all the parents aren’t there. At least society takes most of the blame for how mentally fucked they have become 🙂

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Not Wearing Face Masks

25 Funny Face Mask Memes | The Funny Beaver

Despite the fact a lot of people are so dramatic with face masks and literally complain every second about how they “can’t breathe” or “this is so uncomfortable”, I kinda am going to be screwed when we don’t have to wear them anymore because I do weird things with my mouth when my mask is on. I have a habit of doing that weird awkward smile all the time or just sticking my tongue out a wee tiny bit for absolutely no reason and also making tiny noises, but when I take it off I will have to remember that people can see my face and the weird shit I do with it and sometimes I can be quite expressive so what if in school someone I hate is talking shit and I just look at them with disgust and then see that I am silently judging them! I defo will be exposed but I think I’m ready for it. I don’t know why but I always feel ready to throw hands at an annoying person if I needed to or just talk shit for a straight hour. Maybe if it leads to that, I can get some of my anger out and it will get better, yay! Watch me look at everyone with a rude face and start fights everywhere lmao.

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Working In The Hospital

Funny-Doctors-Medical-Memes | Bored Panda

I was gonna say working as a doctor, but I feel like it doesn’t give the other’s justice because I don’t think I could do any of their jobs. Like, when I was at hospital, the nurses were always so lovely and kind even though they had 10 old people arguing about the TV, 5 kids throwing up, 3 doctors ordering them to do things at a time and a partridge in a pear tree. They really do the most and are still happy but I cry if I burn my toast in the morning. That is a different type of hurt though. I am also watching grey’s anatomy at the moment and, firstly it is awesome, but secondly, what the actual fuck. They just all seem to know everything. This guy could come in and cough once and they would be like “oh my god he has supercalifragilisticfeefifofumI’mgettingrippedtonight. And then they know how to fix it. How do they remember all that! Seriously though can any medical person please say how you know it all instantly and stay calm when you have to save people from near death and you know every detail and name of things. It couldn’t be me. I would get stuck on how to pronounce a word and then not realise my patient is literally having a seizure right next to me. I respect you guys honestly. I also want to know if you actually do literal 48 hour shifts! Is that not literally kinda bad for you and also having to diagnose people. Do you not just cry at every single patient you see. Could not be me but thank you for volunteering as tribute *wistles*

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Anyways, that’s all I can be bothered with today in all honesty. Here’s a bonus. Can I be bothered to do more? No, so yeah. But please do comment below if you have anything else to add, I always love seeing what you have to say, and make sure to like and follow for more. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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The Audacity

Hey guys, so if you have read my blog before, you will know that I have a twin sister. We have pretty much the same friend group but there are a few people that she would be more friendly with than me because… well, I’m a socially awkward kinda bitch. But the reason the title … Continue reading The Audacity

Guess Whose Back!

Bro, obviously it’s me but I just needed something a bit more exciting as the title because I don’t think many people would click on “Sorry I have posted the last few days, I was busy” so yeah, if you guessed right then well done, but if not then I hope for you sake that … Continue reading Guess Whose Back!

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And You Did This For What?

I think we all related to this title a bit too much when you first read it. I know that whoever clicked on this was like “this shit about to be good” and it is because I am going to tell you about a few times that I have asked that question in my head and I am pretty sure you will be able to relate to at least a few of these, and if for some reason you don’t, you either don’t have any siblings or you are a foetus and haven’t experienced the world yet. So lets get started shall we.

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Are you in a bad mood?

Donttouchmynewtonballs When You're in a Really Bad Mood ...

This one needs a bit of context but you can probably understand what I mean already. I hate whenever you are just having an overall bad day and you just feel a bit low and can’t be arsed to do anything or act nice all the time and then your parents go ahead and say “why are you in a bad mood”. I don’t know if they don’t understand but it sound so freaking condescending and I wasn’t in a “bad mood”, I was having a bad day and they are not the same thing. Just because we may not be smiling 100% off the time, it doesn’t mean we are a full on annoying teen. To be honest, I get annoyed whenever they mention mood at all. Like if they were like “hows the mood today” and you just look at them like, was it that hard to just say how are you. I don’t know if that is just me but it ruins the already depressing day. Just because I am a teen it doesn’t mean that I am grumpy every time I am quiet. I rest my case bitch.

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Looking at your phone

24 Hilarious Cell Phone Memes

You know when you are sitting next to someone and you are just on your phone cause your bored as fuck and then they have audacity to just watch everything you are doing and they try to fucking hide the fact they are spying on you but like you aren’t dumb so you can tell they are side-eyeing you. Like I don’t know why but it stresses me out so much and I don’t want to do anything because if I look up at them or move my phone so they can’t see it, they get offended. Like bitch you were the one that was spying on me so don’t get offended. I don’t really mind if it is my friends or something because if I am on my phone it is for a particular reason you know, but it just aggravates me. Especially on road trips because I sit in the middle (so my sisters don’t literally kill each other) and they both are able to just stare at my phone. Even though they usually don’t, I am too scared to do anything in case they look over for even a second and then shout something like “DAMN YOUR SNAPCHATS SO DRY!!” or “Why are you playing that. That’s so boring”. That is the point where you just put down your phone and stare at them for a while until you reach the perfect moment to say “shut the fuck up” and then you go back to normal.

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Jumping out

60 Of The Best Sibling Memes Ever | Bored Panda

This one goes out to all the people with siblings who have high blood pressure from the fear that comes with walking past or through a door. It really do be scary because there will also be a 99% chance that someone is going to scare you or throw something at you. It is fun to be fair, if you are the one scaring or throwing something. But I have become very observant in my lifetime because I just scan every sound, movement and light to make sure the coast is clear. Going into my kitchen is the most dangerous place because people can hide at both sides of the door, but if you hide behind the door, I will see you because I look through the crack as I walk by. It is a skill I guess, no biggy lol. And our dog is a big give away too because he just stares at you like an idiot. Another thing is when you are sitting down and you just get the urge to annoy them. It is really weird and can lead to a lot of things. At my stage, we have moved on from attacking the other for what they do and now we kinda just stare at each other like what the fuck just happened. Sometimes, what I like to do is throw a pillow, randomly punch them on the shoulder, leave their door open and then just freestyle it you know. It is quite the fun one, unless they pick to fight back and you get scared that they actually will kill you 🙂

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“Are you…”

When Someone Asks You a Dumb Question at Work What Would ...

The last thing I want to mention today is whenever people state the fucking obvious. Like they state every fucking thing as though they have just become the dumbest people on earth. It literally angers me to just talk about it. And these people pop out of nowhere. I could be walking outside with my dog on the leash and someone would pop out from the fucking sky and be like “are you taking the dog on a walk” and you just stare at them like “no, I’m leaving the dog outside to die” Like what the fuck does it look like I’m doing. Or when you sit in a room watching the TV and they come in and are like “oh, are you watching something” and you look at them like “no actually, I am fucking blind. Can you tell me where I am?”. They literally ask the most ridiculous things too. I am sure that one of these type of people has just risen up from the depths of hell and asked “are you breathing” and then went back down laughing evilly, leaving the other person on the floor crying with anger. I can picture it now. Can people seriously not just connect the dots, it isn’t that hard bitch.

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Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed that and you related to a few of them. You have to admit though, you have been through at least 2 of these. Comment down below if you have and also feel free to tell me what you get annoyed by and I might mention you in my next post. Don’t forget to like, follow and comment if you liked this content and I will be sure to make more like this. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Weekly Reminder

Hello guys, so I have posted in like two days but don’t worry it was just for my birthday so didn’t really have much time, but I’m back now so we are good to go. And what a better way to get back into things than a weekly reminder you know. I don’t really have … Continue reading Weekly Reminder

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Going Back To “Normal”

Hey guys, so I haven’t really posted on here in a wee bit but like life happens so deal with it. Anyways, I guess I just wanted to just talk about how today I am kind of transitioning back into a normal, pre-covid, life. And what is it that I am doing you might ask? Well, I am going to be going back to Ju-Jitsu for the first time in forever which is kind of fun but at this point I don’t even know if I am interested in going and that could be because it has been a while or it could also be my mental state lol. A large portion of it is also not being able to body slam people and knock the shit out of them. You don’t really do that in Ju-Jitsu anyways, but like I did karate before and there were fights that you could do and it was actually quite fun. I think the only reason I stopped that was because it was becoming very serious for me and they wanted to put me in world championships and that shit but I am quite a home-bird and also that was around the time I started first year and my mental health was… declining. So yeah, in another world you could have been watching me knock the shit out of someone on the Olympics, but that would be women’s sports so I guess it isn’t that big. LOL THAT WAS A JOKE I SWEAR. I AM A WOMAN AND JUST MAKING FUN OF THE FACT MEN THINK WOMEN’S SPORTS IS BORING.

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But yeah, I think I tried 4 different martial arts classes in my lifetime. I also swear that when I first asked my parent’s if I could start karate I thought I was making up a word but I must have heard it from someone subconsciously and I was so freaked out when they said “sure”. I’m not sure if that was a mistake or not but I did ballet before and that was not my cuppa tea lets just say. I have a really embarrassing story from ballet but I don’t think I will ever tell you what it is. So I don’t know why I just told you that if I am not even going to tell the story lol but yeah it was embarrassing. Do you know what is funny though, and my English teacher would literally eat this up, is that I started my ‘martial arts journey’ in the leisure center and the 4th that I am in now is at the same leisure center! Cyclical structure?! I hate how I thought of that. LETS ANALYZE IT! no. I never have to do that again and I am thankful for that everyday.

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You probably aren’t wondering, but I am going to tell you, why I left each of the classes. They are pretty good stories actually so lets get started

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  1. The first place I went to was at the leisure center and it was for karate. My friend at the time went their too and I was like wow this is so fun. Except for when the grading part came (if you don’t know, this is how you go up the belts). The man that was their was so fucking creepy and there were so many people I didn’t know and the building that it was in was so sketchy and like had the worst vibes. I think a lot of my anxieties formed there. So that was one reason, and literally gave me PTSD to think about, but the other reason was because it was a small class and literally took fucking ages to move up just one belt. I think that for moving up each belt you had to do 2 gradings and then when you got to the higher belts you had to do 4 to get to the next belt. I know the black belt takes a while but like the fucking rest of them!? There was no need. So I left
  2. The second place I went to was probably one of my favorites because the people their were nice, I moved up pretty quickly because, ya know, I was a pro and all that. I stayed there a while and only left because high school really messed me up. I remember one time I literally cried when I was doing one of my gradings because I was so stressed out about everything. It was in a nice hall this time but like was still far from home and different to usual and really just set a bad vibe for the rest of the day. I liked this one a lot because they were obviously serious about it and actually did fighting and shit. There were competitions I went to and did well at and I nearly got to my brown belt I think, but I still remember the last day I went there and I was literally holding back tears and then when I got back to the car my mum was like “what’s wrong” and you know that hits different when you have been holding back tears the whole time, so then I quit. Little did I know that was only the fucking start lmao. High school was not good for me, let me tell you that. But I actually enjoyed it and fully miss it.
  3. The third place was BY FAR the worst of them all. I remember going to it and it was a fucking joke. I should have known from their logo and their fucking clown gees. It was new and my mum was like you need to go because you are good at martial arts and I was like fine and I actually hated it with a passion. They made it seem like they were so cool but they pretty much made up their own fucking martial art. These people spent 30 minutes of the 45 minutes doing warm ups and then the last 15 minutes I was having to work my way through literal fetuses doing random ass moves. They had a fucking grey belt! I might as well leave it there. They fully made up a belt and thought they were doing something. Like bitch just stop. And they would have all these literal weapons that looked like they were from an unrealistic ninja movie. I stayed there way too long and it was honestly embarrassing. People literally send their kids there and think they are gonna become a pro fighter but no, they are just gonna become a joke. So I left that place
  4. The forth place. The place I am at now. The place that I like despite a few different complications. The people there, to start, are mainly nice, but there are a select few who I… dislike strongly and would happily knock out. I am on my purple belt actually so have been there a while. The people are nice and, unlike the third place, they are official and not a joke. I am starting back today and the only reason I am not looking forward to it is that you aren’t even allowed to throw people so there quite literally will be nothing to do, but it’s fine. There are other reasons too but I think I have insulted my peers enough today.
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Anyways, that is all I can be bothered to talk about today. Lets hope it all goes well and I can control my emotions well enough. I am also not very fit after all that time off so literally watch me get the reddest face ever lmao. Are you guys starting anything normal at the moment or are a lot of your hobbies still closed? Leave your answer in the comment section below, I would love to hear what you are doing. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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The World Needs More…

The world needs more pockets. Nope, that isn’t a joke. Today I am talking about why the world needs more pockets *gets kicked out of Climate Change organisation* In all honesty though, I have a solid argument about why we need more pockets. Maybe not in the USA though. They’ll just carry more guns 😮 … Continue reading The World Needs More…

Weekly Reminder

Hi guys. This post is quite late but I am sure none of you really care about that. The truth is though, this week has been tough and I don’t want to hide that from you all because despite the fact I usually upload positive content and jokes etc. my life is not perfect. Not … Continue reading Weekly Reminder

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Do You Know What’s Weird? Languages

Me, personally, I love languages. I don’t know what it is about them but I find them so interesting because the whole world has different ways of communicating and it makes sense to people despite the fact we have absolutely no clue what they are talking about. To be fair I only know Spanish and English but still. I mean I wish I had the time or the motivation to learn more because it is so awesome, but there are also times where I just think to myself “what the fuck”.

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There was a time where there were no languages and then the next day they were just like “ok we need to come up with a way to communicate that everyone will understand” but how did they say that to each other? How did they talk about starting this and using their voices to make words. And I know that a lot of modern languages came from Latin or some shit but how did Latin come around, and if we know what that came from then how did that other language start? There was once just a person that was like ok we need to do this but how the hell. And they were the ones to create the best invention in the world because now we can communicate and thrive.

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This might sound a bit stupid but, being the dumb child I was, when I would ask how Spanish people would understand what other people were saying when speaking Spanish, my mum would say “well it’s just their language so they understand it like we do with English” and for some utter shit reason, I thought that meant that they would translate what they said into English and then translate their response back into the language they spoke and then I would be so confused as to why they couldn’t understand us when they have to translate everything into English to understand it. Obviously, I have changed now and actually love languages but how fucking dumb was that. Literally, me thinking that everything revolves around English which is actually kind of does and I feel privileged to be a fluent English speaker, but I was innocent as fuck back then.

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That kind of leads me to my next point. Why have we chosen a ‘superior language’? How did we just decide that it would be English? Now, I know that English isn’t the world’s most spoken first language but like pretty much all countries, I think, kind of make you learn English in school as if you wouldn’t succeed without it. I know that I learn languages but it isn’t as stressed as what I would think learning English would be. And English is a fucking hard language. In never fully appreciated how hard it was until a couple of years ago because before I was like “well we don’t even have an accents on our words so it isn’t even that hard” but then I realised that words are spelled and pronounced so differently that it is just ridiculous. I mean who the fuck decided there would be silent letters. Like Pterodactyl. What the fuck is that? Honestly. And then there are the rules like “I before e except after c” but then there are still words that go against that. Honestly, I would give up if I had to learn it. Wait!!! I just remembered one of the most ridiculous words in the English dictionary. Queue. This has to be a joke. You can not tell me that the only letter you pronounce is the very first one while the others are just there for show. Like how the hell is that real. As a person of the English language, I would like to formally apologize for this and I hope this hasn’t fully destroyed your love for languages.

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Are there just people who come up with languages though. That’s the thing. And how long did it take for the first speakers to start a language because I mean damn, I can barely speak the language I have known my whole life. Props to them I suppose but I only have one more question for you. Were you on literal drugs when you came up with it because god damn this shit is crazy. But yeah, I suppose that is my questions over for now about how weird languages are. I still love them to be fair but like, they are freaking weird. If anyone is reading this and has had to learn English as a second language, please comment down below and tell us what it was like to you and what other things still confuse and shock you to this day because I am sure there are many. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Weekly Reminder – You Are a Bad Bitch

The past couple of weeks my weekly reminders have been more low-key but this week I want to liven it up a bit you know. Like I want to remind you guys how absolutely awesome you are and how you should not give a fuck what other people think because you are the shit. So welcome to my TED talk bitches, let’s get it started.

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How many times this past week did you give a fuck? It’s ok if it’s a lot. Mine is quite a lot. Now, my task for you this week is to lower this right down. Let’s get it down to a half of the fucks you gave. So if you cared about what other’s thought of you etc. around 20 times, lets lower this to 10 times. It may seem like a stretch, but catch yourself when you start to care about what other’s are thinking because that wastes so much of your time and they don’t deserve that. I am not gonna say that life is short because it really fucking isn’t but despite that, you ain’t got any time to give away so stop wasting time on the people who don’t matter. And it is natural for people to make question what they wear or get a bit anxious, but just look at yourself in the mirror and talk to your reflection as though you are hyping up your best friend who is feeling the way you do. Tell your reflection that it is the most beautiful thing in the world and that nobody deserves you. Tell it that it shouldn’t give a fuck about what other’s think because they are the most important thing in the world and everyone else is just jealous. It may feel a bit awkward at first and I know that it will but that is how you should be talking to yourself anyways. You shouldn’t be your own worst enemy.

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I can tell that whoever is reading this right now is an absolute beast because, well, you are on the best blog in the world, but also because you are still here. Like how fucking badass is that. You are walking away from a fucking bomb that was 2020 and you may still be in the fire but you are still going. Pandemic? Got nothing on you. School? You can get through it. Life? That shit sucks but I’m getting there. I don’t think that you fully appreciate how awesome you are because I know that others or yourself may downplay what you go through, but by just thinking about this past year, I already know that you are literally elite. You are gonna be the cool grandparent or older person that gives all the best advice, is absolutely hilarious, has awesome stories about living in a pandemic (despite the fact we might oversell it to sound more dramatic), you are gonna change the world just by existing and some day you will walk down the street and know that, although others may not see it yet, you are a freaking star.

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I am not sure if any of you guys have heard this quote before by Mother Teresa. It is pretty good and I think about it every so often because it is so simple yet means so much. She says

"We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop ...
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Isn’t that quite good. Like it just shows that no matter how small you think your impact on the earth is, it is still significant. If you weren’t here there would be that much less than if you were. It all adds up and although you may not see it, every thing matters and if we lost you, we would be a you short. We would be missing a you and that will affect things. You are a part of a big thing and your presence is appreciated. I guess you could also link it to the butterfly effect where, if small thing happens like a butterfly flapping it’s wings, it leads to something bigger, like a hurricane. It may seem a bit weird, but it is true. If we missed a you then throughout the years life would be so different especially in the lives of the ones you love. Because you are here the world is so much different and I want you to know that you do have a meaning, you are so important, you do make an impact and your life does matter.

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Don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise because you are a blessing and you need to keep shinning because one day you will finally realise your strength and the world won’t seem so tough anymore. When you realise your worth, you won’t take any shit and you can live life they you want and make the decisions that make you the happiest I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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My Only Summer Goal

To all my friends out there, I am sorry bitches but like this is my big goal. You are already my whole life so that’s why it isn’t a goal but of course I will still spend time with you. Or I will for as long as my mental state will let me lol. That … Continue reading My Only Summer Goal

Weekly Reminder

My last ever GCSE exam (hopefully) is on tomorrow. Pretty freaky. Didn’t really think I would make it this far. I was wanting to do one of the things where it is like after 2 years, 107 hours of study, 20 mental break downs etc. but I can’t add up all of the mental breakdowns … Continue reading Weekly Reminder

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Job Update (It Do Be Like That Sometimes)

So guys, I didn’t get the job, but I mean it’s fine. Honestly, like it’s fine. This was my first ever one to be fair so if I was expecting results, I would be a bit dumb you know. The truth is though, I don’t know what I would have done if I did get the job. The guy would ring me and be like “hey you got the job” and then I would be like “that’s great thank you” and then it would be an awkward pause just with me on the other line like what the fuck now. And if I got the job I would most definitely be like “well fuck. I don’t actually want to work though”. People always say to look at the positives, so in this situation that is that I have an excuse to do nothing. I guess I will have to look for more work in the mean time, but like doe now I can be like “damn, I wish I could be walking back and forth between Karen’s and a boiling kitchen with heavy plates and 0 hour of sleep. I guess I will just relax and be sad about it”.

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For me, I am the type of person whose social battery can go from 100 to 0 in a second. I’m basically an iPhone battery bitch cause it changes real quick. So imagine what I would be like if I had to be crazy happy for a bit and then all of a sudden I crashed. No tip for me I guess. This would literally be me… “Hi, My name is Ally and I am going to be your server today! What can I get for you guys 🙂 Ok, so that’s 2 burg… *crashes on ground, rolls into ball, sleeps*” and the customers are like “we’ll have chips with that too”. It would be a laugh but like everyone would think I am some sort of quirky emo.

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I guess I don’t feel too bad that I didn’t get the job because literally half of the people my age applied for it. I wonder how many got it though? Lol, everyone but me. Imagine. I could never step foot in that restaurant again, not like I go there anyways but still, I would keep my distance. The thing is though, I thought the interview went quite well. Me and the guy were kinda hitting it off, in the non-relationship way, as in we chatted. We had things in common and a bit of banter you know. Toxic friendship I suppose. Nrs only real ones know. But no, he actually didn’t really ask that many questions. Maybe that was a red flag that he already found the good ones and didn’t give a shit anymore. Do you guys want a re-inaction of what the thing was like, with a bit of a twist and my inner commentary. No? Shut up, Imma do it anyways.

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So I walked in, already sweating like a pig, and the restaurant was kind of empty but like there were a few people working there. I saw one girl and she was like “just wait there for a second” and I was like ok but I don’t want a fucking seat, I want to take your fucking job, but then another waitress was like “is everything ok” and I was like “no actually, life is pretty tough at the moment beca…”, “no I meant can I help you” and then I said I was here for an interview and I sat down for a bit at a random table which was kind of awkward because it was a reserved table and I didn’t know if that was for me or if a family would walk in and just see this random sweaty girl on their seat. Oh, I would also like to clear up that the whole “is everything ok” bit from above was a joke, I didn’t do that lol. Just making sure :/ But I was just there looking awkward as fuck because I didn’t want to go on my phone because the guy defo would have come and said no right on the spot for being a lazy hoe, so I just starred into nowhere as I sat and waited for 10 mins with my CV in my dripping, shaking hand. Then the guy came and I went from 0 to 100 real fast. Like, my waitress mode was turned on to maximum bitch.

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Oh my god, this part is so embarrassing, but when we were going to the table he was saying “the hand sanitizer is there but be careful when you press down because it can squirt out a bit” and I was like ok, there is no way I could mess this up, we are fine. The thing is, I thought it just meant it splattered a bit, but no. This bitch FLEW. Like I had my hand over it a bit to catch any spray, but this hoe went right over it. And I looked so dumb, but I don’t know if he saw. Like he just told me to be careful and then I went ahead and got it everywhere anyways. I was near wetting myself because it still was kinda funny to be honest. It really defied the laws of gravity. I really don’t know how it did that you know. Maybe that was the first test and he realised I was an absolute idiot so he just decided on the spot.

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There is more to the story really, but it isn’t even that funny or important, I just basically acted over enthusiastically and agreed to what he said. I also can’t be bothered to type the rest because I am quite the tired one today, but I will post tomorrow hopefully so don’t forget to subscribe, like and comment so that I can make this my job instead. Show that bottle of hand sanitizer that I am the shit. But yeah, I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Cancel Culture – Let’s Address This Bitch

If anybody doesn’t know what cancel culture is, let me explain it to you. Technically, it is just this thing were people ‘cancel’ (or make them unfamous) people because of something bad they said in their lifetime. And you might be saying “well I mean that doesn’t sound too bad” but let me tell you a bit more. The types of things they use as evidence to cancel said person would literally be from when they were literally kids. So if, somehow, a video got out of them pronouncing the word “gay” wrong when they were first learning to talk, they would take that and be like “cancel this hoe, she doesn’t respect the LGBTQIA+ community” and then their whole career goes down the drain. Basically the people who support cancel culture are the so called “snow flake” generation. And that I agree with. The only cancelling I will agree with is cancelling cancel culture.

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What is so aggravating about it is that the person could have completely changed from what they had been like 10 years ago and they would still be cancelled. I could be cancelled for this post because of the fact I think cancelling people for what they said years back is bad, but like people change bitch. Unless they said it the other day and don’t actually regret it, get over it because we all make mistakes. The things I have seen people have to apologize for are actually ridiculous. There was this one hilarious video I had watched, I forget what it was about, but it was so funny. It was by Spencerwuah I think, and it was the tiniest thing about literally nothing and people in the comments were like “oh my god I can’t believe you just said that” “address it” “oh my god some people are just so awful” and there are points where you actually think it’s a joke but it isn’t and your like who the fuck hurt you to be so sensitive.

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People’s whole career’s get ruined for it too. Like when we are kids our parent’s tell us things and we believe them because we don’t know what else to think, like we haven’t made our own opinions yet. And then later on in life people learn that maybe their opinion isn’t right and so they change who they used to be, but people don’t like to see that. No matter how much they apologize, their career that they once loved has just disappeared. Now don’t get me wrong, there are some things that aren’t ok such as recent discoveries about James Charles and Shane Dawson being actual pedophiles, but like that is a literal crime and absolutely disgusting and it is recent with actual evidence that they did it. But like for other times, people really do just twist words. And they also just don’t give them a chance to defend themselves or correct themselves. Kind of like if one time they misgender someone and then they are like “Oh sorry, what are your pronouns?”, all the cancel culture bitches will be like “don’t try to make yourself look like the victim you are so close minded” when in reality they just made a mistake.

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So just to finish I suppose, cancel culture needs to be cancelled because people change and some of the evidence you use to prove your point is ridiculous. But don’t get me wrong, if there are pedophilia charges or rape charges, those people don’t deserve to have freedom, but if it is something from 10 million years ago, they have probably changed so get your dramatic, pasty Karen ass out of here because we don’t wanna hear it. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself (unless you are a pedophile or rapist) PERIODT


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My Honest Interview Answers

Hi guys, so as some of you will already know, I have my first ever interview tomorrow. And I am shitting it to say the least. It has caused me to have many a breakdown and freaking out about what I should say about the generic questions and whether or not I would end up completely fucking it up because I accidentally tell the truth. I mean you do kinda have to make white lies in an interview or to slightly bend the truth, but to get all the thoughts about saying something wrong our of my head, I am gonna spill them here and if the interview guy is reading this, it is all a joke :/

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Tell me about yourself

I’m a chronically awkward bitch who likes to people please and in the event of a customer or staff members slight change in tone, I will have a breakdown. But that doesn’t mean I won’t throw hands if a Karen act’s up. I can remember stuff kind of well but if there is a silence for even 1 millisecond, my face will light up bright red. I can get overwhelmed but that isn’t knew to me. I have a twin and an older sister, one of which I am pretty sure has anger issues and the other is alright I guess but I am always the peace maker between them and that means I have to sit in the middle of the car. I would count that as one of my trauma’s. I can either be very energetic, or I won’t be able to move a muscle. If you hire me, I may or may not be the most awkward person you will meet until you get to know me. Then you will realise I am a ‘unique’ person.

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Why do you want this job?

I don’t. To tell you the truth like. I mean I will get paid though won’t I? That is literally the only reason I am here right now but even if I get hired, I might just leave because I think everyone hates me. I guess I also want tips, as in cash, not like training or anything like that. Although if you have any tips on how to enjoy life, that would be great. I also kinda need this job because it is the socially acceptable age to get a job like this and if I don’t get one I will be broke and also judged, so not too different from now, but like I want to keep it at the same level

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What is your biggest weakness?

ahhaha, I think the easier question would be “what isn’t your biggest weakness” because we could be here for days. But let’s see… hmm… oooh this ones my favorite. You see, I do this thing where I feel as though I don’t belong here and that everyone hates me and wishes I wasn’t there. Also, I sometimes speak really fast or slur my words and I also can’t write that fast or that well, so the cooks might have a bit of a problem with that. I also don’t take criticism well so if I do something wrong, I may or may not cry or never speak ever again. I also have a tendency to not make friends because I think they all hate me, think I am weird, don’t want me there and I also am very much awful at small talk. Do you want anymore?

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Why should we pick you?

I have no clue bitch, but if you need a reason not to pick me, ask my ex because he seemed to have a lot of reasons to treat me like shit. Also, if you do pick me, I will think that you did that by accident and that the other people who didn’t get it now hate me. Also I will panic a lot and although I will work very hard, I will be shaking so much that I don’t think I could carry out any plates or drinks. I also can’t do math all that well if I don’t have a calculator. And if you don’t hire me, I don’t think I can ever go back here again because I will be highly embarrassed so you would loose a customer as well

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Tell me about a time you have been in a stressful situation?

Oh, so my life story? Ok, well it all started the day I was born… 5 hours later… and here I am pissing myself because I realised that I just told you every single memory I have and you guys have actually left I just realised so now I am talking to a wall. Oh, and the lights just turned off so I guess I am the last one here. Why am I still talking to myself?

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Do you have any questions you would like to ask us?

Yes actually. What am I applying for again?

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Anyways, thank you guys for reading this post, I hope you enjoyed it. It was kind of a piss take but like that is honestly what I would say. Wish me luck for my interview and hopefully I don’t say anything like I just did above. Tell me about what your first interview was like. Did you make any mistakes, or panic or any more bad experiences? Write them in the comment section below. I can’t wait to read them. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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Where Is The Back Button On Life? I Need Out Of This Bitch

This is not a drill guys! I was called yesterday by a manager of a restaurant I applied for and he booked me in for an interview on Monday. Bitch when I tell you I am shitting myself, I am quite literally shitting it. I mean did I apply for it? Yes. But it is all too real now. They are all gonna judge me and be like what is this bitch doing. And if I even get the job, I won’t be able to make friends with the other staff cause I can’t even socialize! Like I am going to be so out of place and I literally won’t be able to get everyone’s food on time or hold all the plates or talk or write down quickly. I hope they got tablets for us because I don’t think anyone could understand my writing. I have a literal doctor’s handwriting after a 24 hour shift and 200 pages signed. Like it really is that bad.

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I don’t know why I am freaking out already though because I haven’t even got the job and it isn’t until Monday that I have the interview, but this is my first ever one. I don’t know what to wear and like what if I dress up too much or too little. What if I can’t hear what they are saying and I have to do that awkward shit where you ask them to say that again for the 5th time. Or what if they ask me a stupid fucking question that I didn’t prepare for and it is just me staring at them awkwardly like “oh shit”. I don’t think I am cut out to be a waitress in all honesty. I had always been excited to start a job and earn some money, but now that there is a chance that could happen, I don’t want it anymore. I am happy to just live on the streets. I’ll sneak onto a cruise and go across the world. Or maybe I will make friends with some rich old man who will let me live on his boat and when he dies I can just sail away and never have to work. To be fair though, I am looking forward to tips though, and also if there are Karen’s I can actually say something, to an extent I guess. Because when you hear them in a restaurant you literally want to shout over to them and say “watch your mouth bitch. It isn’t their fault that they don’t serve your great grandma’s famous cheese sauce”. I won’t be able to say that but like I can say something a bit passive aggressive and slabber about it later.

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What I also can’t stand the thought of is being the new girl. Like what if they call me newbie for the rest of my life or if I make a mistake they will call me something like… I don’t know a nickname for that but you get what I mean. I am not ready for that. They will all have their friends already too so I will just be that awkward girl who is sweating profusely and being really quiet. I don’t want that. They could all be chavs too or like really annoying and it would be so awkward if it was just me and one other person just staring like “hey” with that awkward white person smile. I think that if I wasn’t hired, I could never go back to that restaurant ever again because that would be embarrassing as fuck, like imagine me going in and then everyone is like “look at that actual idiot that couldn’t even get into a crusty restaurant. It is a nice restaurant though but just for the purpose of this post let’s say it is crusty. It is also gonna be so awkward because when I go in I will have to be like “hey, I am here to like take your job” and then they will have to lead me to the room.

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Also when I was on the call, the man sounded nice and all but he cut out for a minute and then I did understand him but like I was panicking about what he could have said and then he said what time to come down and now that I look back at it I am scared in case I got it wrong. Like what if I go in and say “hey I am here for an interview” and they are like “bitch that isn’t for another week” or “you stupid bitch, that was 2 days ago”. Like I can’t handle the embarrassment. And what if I go “hey I am here for an interview” and then they look at me like “ok? the fuck you want me to do?”. I would walk right out to be honest. After the manager had called I literally sent a fucking documentary of a rant to my friends, pretty much like this, and because I am the first one to do this, they did fuck all and I was here like wow, so much help guys thanks. And some were like “oh my I’d be shitting myself”. Yeah no shit. I also told them to apply for it and I don’t know if they have yet, but like that would be so much better. It would be bloody awkward though if they got it and I didn’t and now they are the ones alone and I am just standing awkwardly like “so… was it that scary”. I also don’t cope well under that much stress and people concentrating on me and it always shows as well. Like my face goes so red that it looks like it is about to explode and I sweat like a bitch. I slur my words and literally get sweaty ass hands, so if they go to shake it, they gonna be getting one unpleasant surprise.

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So, if you haven’t noticed yet, I am terrified. If any of you guys have any tips with interviews or being a waitress, that would be really helpful to hear in the comments. And maybe if you have any of your own stories or how you felt getting your first interview that would be great. Hopefully on Monday I tell you a success story, and not an embarrassing one because I may have to just leave this planet forever. Everyone always says to “just be yourself” but I don’t like myself so why would anyone else?! I have the worst sense of humor so if I attempt a joke and they just stare at me, I am running out, or at least trying to with wobbly legs. Anyways, please send in any tips or stories, whether that is embarrassing, fun or just normal. I hope you guys have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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I Am Confusion

Right, can someone please tell me why the FUCK is everyone getting married. Now, I don’t mean people in their 20’s or their 30’s or anything normal like that. But I mean people my fucking age, a teenager, getting married! I mean, I get it. True love and all at shit and meeting the love … Continue reading I Am Confusion

The Maybe Story

Today I wanted to share a story with you guys that I heard a while back. It is a random story but yet it has a big meaning behind it. So grab a cuppa tea and enjoy. There was this old Chinese farmer who spent all of his days working on his crops, until one … Continue reading The Maybe Story

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The Audacity

Hey guys, so if you have read my blog before, you will know that I have a twin sister. We have pretty much the same friend group but there are a few people that she would be more friendly with than me because… well, I’m a socially awkward kinda bitch. But the reason the title of this post is “the audacity” is because she went out with one of her friends and I realised, she has a life away from me. That cheeky bitch.

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Was that time we spent together in the womb not enough for her?! I mean how can she function and survive away from me. It just isn’t allowed. I mean if they asked me if I wanted to go out, would I say yes? Probably not because I am starting this thing called “slowly growing apart from others until I have no friends and eventually be in the elite level of depression”. It isn’t funny. I highly don’t recommend but I can’t go back now lol. I really can but that is besides the point. I then realised that my older sister and my mum and my dad have a life. They are not just characters that only live for my life. They have friends, a personality, they must be nice if people actually want to be around them. People see them as a friend or a co-worker and not as a parent or a sister. And sometimes you just gotta take a moment to realise all that and kind of understand the… what’s the word… the audacity. Even you, the person reading this, has a life. You are somewhere in the world doing something, maybe you are on a train, you are on a plane, you just woke up from a nap, maybe you are having lunch. I don’t even know! But you have a whole freaking life and by some miracle you are reading my own freaking post and I don’t know how low your day has got to get to reading this shit of a post, but hey, thanks I suppose.

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Do you know what else makes me go “the audacity of that bitch” is whenever you are walking and a person that clearly sees you doesn’t move out of the way even a bit when the are taking up the whole path. Let me tell you a few stories about a couple of those times. So it was last Christmas. I was walking my dog as you do, and this kid, an obvious prick, was on his bike around his street. I was on the footpath and he was on the road and I was walking, minding my own business. There were no cars around or nothing. Just me on the footpath and him on the road. And guess what this idiot decides to do. He looks me straight in the eye, goes onto the foot path and cycles right into me. He nearly fucking hit my dog and I wouldn’t give as much of a shit if he hit me, but if he hit my dog, lets just say I would be on Santa’s naughty list and he would be on the ground. He is defo gonna be a chav when he grows up. I just glared and was just thinking that he is gonna be a prick to some poor person in the future. He is gonna be so mean to whoever he is around and I hope to fuck it ain’t me. Next time I plan to just stop and let him move out of the way first because ladies first bitch!

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Another time something like this happened was literally last week and again I was walking my dog and it was in a forest park so the paths are a fine size, but there isn’t much space to go off the path if you needed to. So I was walking and this man and his wife we walking towards me. They dead-ass looked me in the eyes, they fucking saw me, and I moved to the side a bit to be polite because I know there is still the whole “respect your elders” bullshit, but I couldn’t move much further so I expected them to at least move to the side a bit, especially with the pandemilevato. But guess what, they don’t move an inch. Not a fucking millimetre and here I was looking like an actual ass because I had to turn into a fucking leaf just to not bump into them. And you may say they didn’t have enough room or they didn’t see me. But they looked right at me, they could have gone one behind the other or moved over a bit, and they did the same thing again. I am going to make a pact with you guys though, and you have to try and do the same. Next time you see that someone is going to do something similar to you, don’t move. Stand your ground and then if the people turn around and be like “your rude” or “why did you hit into me” just say “because I haven’t got no more fucks to give”. I mean quite obviously, don’t do this to a car or if you yourself are in a car because I don’t want to be charged for being the cause of a murder.

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Reading through this post, the vibes changed quite quickly didn’t they, but I think that was a pretty relatable one if I say so myself. But anyways, don’t forget to like, follow and comment if you enjoyed that content. Make sure you check out some of my other posts as well because, not to toot my own horn, but some are pretty good. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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Do You Know What’s Weird? Everything

So I know this is quite a broad topic guys. I know what I am getting myself into. An existential crisis. But I am ready for it you know. I am ready to question life and everything there is to do about it because… to be honest, I’m bored and don’t have anything else to do, so lets go ahead and get this started together.

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Did you know that if all our empty space was taken away from out atoms, a single person would fit into a grain of sand. And did you know that if the whole universe had the space between the atoms taken away that it would fit inside a sugar cube. I mean this bitch really taking grandpa in my pocket to a whole new level. And then also, if you took an atom and made it’s nucleus into the size if a peanut, then the electrons would be the size of a fucking tennis court! I am not even joking with you guys! That is true! To be honest, I think electrons are definitely a “pick me” type of person. Like was there any need to be so large. And also take up so much fucking space. I mean what is the point of that. Does the nucleus have a bloody restriction order from the electrons because I don’t blame it, it seems like a sassy bitch. But like 99.99999999…% of an atom is just empty space but then how the fuck is everything solid. How the actual hell can we not just break things so easily. How are things bloody solid! And if the electrons, protons and neutrons are all just energy how the hell do they come to make something solid and is there some sort of connection between them that means they don’t go out of line. How do they make up everything? Yet are literally pretty much nothing. And how do we know that it is 99.99999999…% empty space? We haven’t gotten anything small enough to be able to see it, yet we literally see this as a fact.

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So many things now a days are a theory, but like surely after all this time you would have figured something out as a fact. Like we are just prepared to believe everything aren’t we. If a scientist came out and said “we are all fucking caterpillars who just haven’t turned into butterflies yet!” the world would literally eat it up. We would all go around thinking how crazy it is that we are all caterpillars and then bitches would be going around saying “oh my it all makes sense now. That is why when we die we get angel wings or devil wings” as though it was clear all along. Like the actual fuck! But then there are still people who are like “oh my god get that vaccine away from me! It contains a whole fucking laptop in it that will slowly poison me, make a clone of me, fly to the sun to their secret base and then come back home to eat the hearts of children!”. I think that is why I couldn’t be a nurse or a doctor because I would actually have to just slap them in the face and shout “you actual dumb bitch. You update your fucking Facebook friends every time you take a shit so obviously you aren’t that private. I’m going to have to call a cleaner for all the crap that just came out of your mouth. Why the fuck would we want to track your boring ass anyways? So we can see how long it takes to get to the manager’s office, Karen?! Huh! Don’t flatter yourself bitch”. Wow that went off topic a bit

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What other things are kinda weird? Hmm, well I guess this is kinda the same thing but like the beginning of the universe and I guess the universe now. I mean you are telling me that all the mass that has ever been in the universe or ever will be has been here since the very beginning of time. I was there (well, I mean my atoms were) and you and everyone else. The floor you stand on the air you breathe and we were all confined withing a dense ball that just happened to be here somehow. Like how did that mass just happen to become a thing and if matter can’t be created or destroyed then how was it created in the first place?! Answer me that science. Oh and I would like to say that I am not saying this from a religious perspective, it really just boggles my mind. But moving on, like how did it just burst one day and what was it in? What did it burst into? What is outside the walls of the universe? How do we know that the universe is still expanding? Is someone out there looking? Because what if you get to the end and then you are like “what the fuck do we do now?” like are you expecting there to be a door or some guy just walks out like “shit I didn’t think you would get here so early” and then just restart the universe. And what I also have to admit is that, if the world was a whole simulation, I couldn’t give a shit. Like who cares. Nothing else will really change. And if my life happened to be the Truman show, I also wouldn’t care. I mean that would be pretty cool. Everyone knows me, everyone (hopefully) likes me, and most likely I won’t even become broke because they want to make good TV not just a bum on the street. I mean I hardly doubt it is but like what’s the big problem?

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So yeah, I guess that is a bit of it. I am sure you know that this isn’t all of everything so I might have to make another post about this on a later date, but, for now, my 99.99999999% empty space, atom made, universe old, Truman show ass is tired, so I will see you later I guess. Don’t forget to like, follow and comment if you liked this type of content. I also just wanted to mention that, if you want, I mean you obviously don’t have to lol, there is a wee space below where you can like donate money to my blog so that I can keep doing this type of stuff in the future. Anything helps, but like if you don’t want to give a stranger money, that’s fine, but maybe you could leave a like or something. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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Guess Whose Back!

Bro, obviously it’s me but I just needed something a bit more exciting as the title because I don’t think many people would click on “Sorry I have posted the last few days, I was busy” so yeah, if you guessed right then well done, but if not then I hope for you sake that this is the first time reading my blog. I don’t really know what I am going to talk about in this blog but I promised myself that I would post something today because I haven’t posted in a while and I feel like, as a very very professional business woman, it is not in my optimal interest that I do not expel a writing into the world of the internet. I really hope you guys know that was a joke and that I am not some sort of business bitch with a stick up my ass. So yeah, I just thought I shouldn’t leave my blog posts so far apart.

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If you were wanting an explanation for why I wasn’t posting, it is because it was my birthday and because of corona and all that crap I couldn’t have all of my friends over at once so I kinda split it up into groups. I know that makes me sound like a proper popular bitch, but the truth is I am not and it is just because my mum rented me and my twin a hot tub and we couldn’t have a lot of people in it, and the corona thing of course. Also my question is, why do I always try to reassure people that I am not popular. I mean is it because I think it makes me look more ‘relatable’? I don’t think so. Is it because I think a lot of popular people are as fake as Nicki Minaj’s ass, or as toxic as my last relationship? Maybe. But I do find myself doing that a lot which kind of also makes me seem like one of those ‘pick me’ bitches who wants to seem so #relatable. Anyways, that is a bit off top, except there was no topic so really it was off. But off what? If it isn’t off anything then it wasn’t on anything so then it is nothing, so I guess this whole paragraph isn’t off topic so that’s good.

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For my birthday my mum got me 2 driving lessons with the young drivers things and I have to say I am quite buzzing because I have asked my mum for ages if I can even just turn on the car and she was like “no” every time. I am pretty certain that she has like trauma from teaching my older sister and isn’t quite prepared to have to teach 2 at the same time, so that isn’t the best for me I guess. I don’t blame her though, I mean even now that my sister got her license I am terrified because her road rage is… let’s just say it could start WW3, so yeah. Those trips are fun :/ But like mum why would you develop 2 people in your womb if you couldn’t teach them both to drive? I mean were you not thinking about that?! Absolutely raging. I don’t mind though, except I kinda do, but like I am not even at the legal age to get my license, so I suppose I shouldn’t be complaining, but I am to you guys so enjoy that I suppose. I wonder what the people in the young drivers thing are like. Are they super relaxed and are ready to crash into some sort of building, or do they have so much anxiety of a minor driving a car for the first time that they ensure absolutely nothing happens. What if they have road rage like my sister? I couldn’t be dealing. I also have this thing where I have to say every little thing I am about to do when I am learning something and it is quite embarrassing to be honest. It isn’t until I have perfected it that I stop and even then, if someone is watching, I do it. Like in Ju-Jitsu, whenever I learned a new throw or something, I would be like “ok so punch and then block and turn around, foot there, arm, lean forward, throw, grab wrist and punch ok ” Like I whisper it under my breath so it isn’t even that but what if I sound insane like I am talking to someone and then the instructor is just like “what the fuck” and huddling in the corner just staring at me. I also go really red whenever I do something wrong or am with any living being so he will either think I have stopped breathing, turning into the devil, or turning into baby jack jack from the incredible’s. But it will be fun right?!

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Anyways, this post kinda went all over the place, but like I think I might start the podcast I had been talking about because it is much easier to ramble on when you talk than with a computer and it also makes you seem less like a psychopath. I keep saying that I will but then nobody even says anything so I don’t know if you just don’t give a shit or what but I have a tendency to not doing something until someone else agrees with it or replies in a positive way so like if you think I should start a podcast, defo go ahead and comment because I am quite messed up mentally. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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Go read some more…

Weekly Reminder

I don’t know about you guys, but this week has been tough as shit for me. This whole week I have been waiting to post a weekly reminder because there is something I have want to say to you. It’s something that you probably haven’t heard this week, or this month, but I want to … Continue reading Weekly Reminder

Sayings Are Saying Things That Saying Would Be Too Boring To Say

Lol, sorry that title literally gave you a seizure but I thought it would be funny for some reason lol. So yeah, all over the world there are sayings. Things that imply something else. But during my hourly existential crisis, I started thinking about talking and then about what we say and how fucking weird … Continue reading Sayings Are Saying Things That Saying Would Be Too Boring To Say

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Weekly Reminder

Hello guys, so I have posted in like two days but don’t worry it was just for my birthday so didn’t really have much time, but I’m back now so we are good to go. And what a better way to get back into things than a weekly reminder you know. I don’t really have a set theme for today to be honest, but I guess I want to make it more motivational this week I suppose. But this is also coming from the least motivated person in the entire world, but I always seem to give better advice to others than I do to myself so lets get into it I suppose.

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My school makes all of the 5th years do a careers talk with a career advisor. And during mine he was asking me if I was interested in going to school next year or university. Me being the indecisive bitch I am, I said that I had always wanted to go back to school, but at the moment I don’t know because I don’t have the motivation for it and I kinda don’t know if it is for me (but that is a whole other story). And he told me that he was hearing that a lot from other people in my year, especially during quarantine. He said that our lives have completely been turned upside down and the school state of mind we had built up was completely shot down so it is understandable that we are rethinking these types of things. And that is so true you know. I mean in my most important years of school I barely studied for more than 1 hour that whole year and me being confused is normal. Nobody else has ever been through this type of thing so we, the generation who were previously fucked up, have no guidance and nobody to relate to that actually knows what we are going through. So I guess this information might be better for those wondering whether or not to go back to school, but I will tell you how you can benefit from this if you aren’t going to school or anything like that. I would also like to mention that not going back to school is completely fine and I respect that, so if somebody thinks I sounded like I was being judgmental, I wasn’t trying to be

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So now for all those who aren’t thinking about returning to school and just over all have low motivation and confusion about what their future is going to be like. I am going to start of with the cliche “it is totally ok” because honestly it is. I think that after all the shit you have gone through for over a year, or maybe more than that depending on your life, it is your right to feel like you have been knocked of the tracks of life. It takes a very strong person to be unfazed by what is going on because pretty much everything changed in the blink of an eye. I still remember the day that I came home from school and sat down with the news playing on the TV and the whole world was told that we must go into lockdown for the foreseeable future. So in that split second, what was expected to be a week off school, turned into 6 months of complete lockdown. I didn’t step back into school for 6 months and that all changed in one split second. So that is a shit load to process and we had to restart that process every time the news changed and that was literally every day. So don’t beat yourself up for not knowing what to do next. Give yourself the respect and the time you need to process what has happened and move on from there when it is right for you. Although it may seem that we are expected to bounce back from all of this like it is natural, it is totally ok for you to take the time you need to readjust. I am not sure how long that will take for you but it will happen eventually so ride out this wave and don’t try to speed up the process because that won’t be helpful for you in the long term. I guarantee you that you are not alone and I know that if you were to ask someone if they know what they are going to do next or what their future holds, no matter what stage of life they are in, the will most likely say “I have no fucking clue” and that is fine because you can figure it out together. You quite literally have your whole life to figure it out.

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I hope this helped you guys out their who feel a bit lost and unmotivated because I know that I do. I am young and still have so much ahead of me which is fucking scary, but we are in this together ok. So please feel free to comment down below how you have been feeling lately and maybe someone will reply saying they feel the same way. Like and follow for more content like this and make sure to look at my other posts which are more comedic and different to this post. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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I Need Your Help

Hi, if you don’t know me, I am a straight white teenage girl with no disabilities and just a mental health problem. What does that mean? That means that the only discrimination I have faced is being a woman. Now, there has been problems with sexism at the moment, but over all I have got … Continue reading I Need Your Help

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Here’s What I Think About Birthday’s

So, it is my birthday tomorrow no biggy. I’m not going to say my age because, despite the fact I may have said before or if you have already made a guess, I don’t really want any 70 year old creepy men popping up in the comments, but anyways. I am at the age where talking about getting old makes me sound like ‘that bitch’ because I am not that old, but I would say that the difference between me now and me when I was pretty much a foetus is quite different and I am wondering if you guys think the same way.

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I ain’t gonna lie ok, I like going to people’s birthdays, but when I have to think of gifts or when I have to plan my own birthday, I run out of fucks to give you know. Like so what I was born onto this earth on exactly this day so many years ago, but as far as I am concerned, that isn’t something to celebrate. And I also have a twin which makes it a nightmare because we are literally polar opposites and, luckily we have mostly the same friends, but there are things that I want do and she doesn’t. And eventually it gets to the point that we just disagree with any of the other person’s ideas just out of spite. Like why am I organizing something for my day? But do you know what is fucking hilarious about having to share a birthday with a twin is that, because I am 1 freaking minute younger, my sister would always make the joke that I should do everything one minute after her, and then when we were younger cakes were very confusing too. Not because we shared one but because when we went to visit other family members for our birthday, we would bring other cakes like the classic Tescos ones or the OG Collin the caterpillar. And being the dumb fucking child I was, I wouldn’t catch on that this cake was for us and there were other people who have birthdays around the same time as us. So one day, when I was turning 7 (and so was my twin! What a coincidence !) I saw my dad taking out a cake and some candles and then later on that day they brought it out and I started signing happy birthday because of course. Tell me why my dumb ass thought it was my Granda’s 77th birthday! And then my dad put the cake in front of me and my sister and it took me a minute to click that it had literally been my birthday yesterday and they just got a candle for us each to blow out. How dumb must I have looked to be singing Happy Birthday to myself while looking around looking for the birthday girl or boy. Maybe that’s where my life started going down hill?

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What I have also realised is that the excitement for my birthday has really plummeted because back then I would be counting down the bloody minutes until my birthday, but now I really do not give a shit. I never even know what to ask for my birthday and everyone is popping up like “what do ya want” and here I am like “I don’t know! A fucking life?”. I mean there are many things I want that you can’t buy. Maybe a hobby, happiness, excitement! But then you end up with a pair of socks (which I actually do like to be fair but lets just say it for the point of this bit) that I have to be like “ah yes exactly what I wanted”. I also hate opening presents because they are just staring at you and you need to act as though this is the best thing you have ever witnessed in your life while trying to make it not obvious that, although you like it, you aren’t absolutely jumping with joy, you just want to make sure they know that you like it. And then after you open it all you just sit there quietly for a second like 😐 What the fuck do we do now. It’s a whole awkward situation and there is a lot of trying to make it seem like a special day, but in reality I am just glad that there is one year less to go.

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What I find funny though is thinking of your age as your level as if you were in a game. Like imagine being like “yes I’m level 26!” That sounds a lot cooler and maybe then older people will be less embarrassed by their age and we won’t have to hear “oooh I’m 25” whenever you ask them what age they are turning. We know your fucking ancient Karen! No need to lie! And it also makes sense because at each level you unlock something new. At 18 you can go into 18 films in the cinema. And when you get to 21 or something, you get student debt! Then when you are around 25-30 you get married and unlock a kid if you want. And you get a mortgage! How fun. And depending on how you live, you may get damage points like “-100 back health” or “+100 obesity”. That kind of thing. Watch the FBI agent in my computer get freaked out like “FUCK THIS BITCH HAS CRACKED THE CODE” LMAO imagine. I wouldn’t care to be honest with you.

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But yeah, don’t really know what else to say about birthdays at the moment, I guess you kind of just grow out of them as you get older. You don’t get all excited over the Lego set that you asked for, or the face painters that are coming over tomorrow. Wow, not me literally depressing you all, but anyways I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.


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Could I Be Bothered? #2

So as a teen going through corona, my list of things I am not bothered to do has pretty much tripled within the fast week, and I’m not angry about. You could blame it on my mental health but you can’t blame it on something that doesn’t even exist any more. So I’m just gonna … Continue reading Could I Be Bothered? #2

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What I Do To Get Ready For Bed

This isn’t your regular “get ready with me” bull shit. This is some relatable content. I’m not about to say “I write down everything I love in this world. I smile because life is great!” Nope because who the actual hell even does that? So, prepare to feel stalked because my bedtime routine is going to be the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

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Usually I get ready to get to bed at around 9. Now this doesn’t mean I am about to fall asleep as soon as I hit the pillow, but I get ready to just lie around for the next 2 to 3 hours, as per usual. By 9 I am already in my pjs so that is one thing done and I have also had a cuppa tea so I’m in the bedtime feeling if you know what I mean. I get all the boring as shit done and over with like washing my face and brushing my teeth. But because I am such a pro dentist, I have until it is half an hour since I brushed my teeth because of acid and teeth and all that crap. It does fuck all I think but I feel very… como se dice… grown up. While I am doing those things though, I never want it to be silent, so there is literally a boring ass tiktok video repeating itself like 10 times until I can finally swipe it with my finger. It’s bloody annoying but better than nothing. I also do that when am brushing my teeth which is actually really pointless because I literally can’t hear anything because I have an electric toothbrush but again, worth it. Then after that I usually walk between my room and my bathroom around 9 to 10 times because I always seem to forget something. The amount of times I have forgotten my glasses until the next morning when I am literally blind as a bat is literally embarrassing. Like my brain just doesn’t give a shit by the end of the day.

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So when that whole process is over, I switch on the LED lights. I try to keep them fitting with my mood, you know. It hasn’t been on green for a while :/ but anyways, then I am just vibing and trying to get all comfy while I watch more tiktok or just any series on Netflix. Although, it can’t be a scary one because if it is I always feel like someone else is in my bed. That will be quite difficult when I eventually get married and end up punching my husband in the face because I thought he was the green ghost from ghost busters, but oh well, that will be his problem. In all honesty though, why can you never find a comfy position when trying to lie in bed. I mean it is so random because during the night I could be sleeping like a fucking mushed banana and be comfy as shit, but I could be in a normal position while I’m awake and feel like I’m in Shrek’s swamp or something. But anyways, I like to get to that point where my eyes are so heavy I physically cannot open them, but you can also measure it by whether or not you have got to the Indian digger, mansion people on YouTube. I gotta give it to them, they make some good content. But after a few of their videos I know that it is probably best to not get any further. I do wonder what is after that stage. The answer to life? Who knows.

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Now comes the time that you turn your phone off. This can really resort in a number of things, let me list them for you.
– Crying
– Existential Crisis
– Embarrassing moments
– Not feeling tired any more so you roll around for ages
– Going back on your phone because your bored as shit
– Making up a dream world to fall asleep to
I guess that is a few of them, but depending on who you are I suppose there are more. The most rare one is actually falling asleep. For me that stage only comes after completing 3 or 4 of the above. But it’s all a bit of fun. My real genuine question though, completely off topic, is there a quick moment where we suddenly just switch off and we are like unconscious, or is it like a gradual thing because we never know when we fall asleep until we wake up, but yet we witness it everyday. Like isn’t that weird and scary that there is a point where we are now asleep and we didn’t even realise it.

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But yeah, I suppose that is my night time routine. I would say I am more of a morning person myself so that is why I am not one of those people that you usually find moving their whole bedroom around during the night. It’s pretty chill I suppose but comment down below what else it is you guys do to get ready for bed. Or don’t, I don’t care tbh. But anyways, I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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The Next Generation Are Going To Be Messed Up and Here Is Why

I was thinking about this today and it really got me worried. I have never seen an embarrassing photo of a baby in a long time. I don’t mean in old photos, but I mean that on Instagram, the babies are always in Nike or Gucci with their hair immaculate and they never are caught in a bad moment. So why is this bad you may ask? Well, let me tell you. How the hell are these kids going to be humbled when they grow up and don’t have any embarrassing photos to look back on? Answer me that because all of their generation are gonna walk around feeling like they are absolutely perfect and, while we love self confidence, you don’t want to be a bitch about it. My generation are humbled by the fact that there are hundreds of our photos scattered around our house that could completely ruin our life. Like there are a few where, if they got into the world, I may never recover from. But they don’t have that. They voluntarily release it into the world with the caption “I woke up like this” while when I was there age I woke up with the 2 different Dora the explora pj’s and a bush of hair. And that would be a good day.

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To be fair though it kind of makes us more iconic. I mean I suppose it is very embarrassing when your mum or dad whips it out one day out of the blue and shows it to every breathing thing in the street, but it’s a bit of fun. Because you know everyone else has embarrassing photos so it is fine and is quite a fun time. Like their friend group is going to be so dry because they won’t have any embarrassing or funny stories to completely die about. The most they will have is the time their mum didn’t match their Gucci handbag to their Gucci belt. It isn’t ok to be honest. They will be able to sleep at night. They won’t get that flashback every night of that embarrassing point in their life 10 years ago. The audacity.

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I still get haunted by this one photo I have that is literally of 2 year old me butt naked by the side of the pool just chilling and obviously, instead of being parents and getting me changed or out of the view of others, they decided to take a bloody photo and print it out for everyone to be scared by. But again, it’s a big lol moment and I am not ashamed. At least I have a personality. At least I have the reassurance that, despite the shittness of my life, I look better than I used to. I know that I have at least evolved from that moment if nothing else. So what I looked like a crack head baby?! Who wasn’t? I think that when I have kids I will make sure they are allowed to just be kids and roam around so that I can take as many embarrassing photos as I can with great camera quality and then in the future they will be so pissed but I can look at them straight in the eyes and say with all honesty “It’s for your own good, kid”. Maybe they will hate me but at least my kid won’t into a cheeky bitch or a bully because they think they are better than anyone else.

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Honestly, what will happen if they only have good baby photos? Surely that will have some affect. I mean, imagine peaking when you are a literal foetus and when you are older you know that you can never get much better than that because now instead of expensive designer clothes, you are stuck with Primark tops and sketchers. Too be fair, primark is top notch and I am sorry if I just offended it there. I will forever worship primark. But yeah, to all the parents out there with the generation I am talking about, please, for the sake of humanity and your children’s future, dress them up like unicorn barf and let them get all muddy and be like actual kids. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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Weekly Reminder

Hey guys, another week has gone by and for a lot of us, we may be going back to school next week. Well, I am anyways. I have a total of 18 exams in the next 5 weeks, all which goes towards my GCSEs (aka decides my future) so to say I am scared would … Continue reading Weekly Reminder

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The World Needs More…

The world needs more pockets. Nope, that isn’t a joke. Today I am talking about why the world needs more pockets *gets kicked out of Climate Change organisation*

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In all honesty though, I have a solid argument about why we need more pockets. Maybe not in the USA though. They’ll just carry more guns 😮 oooooohhhhh I just went there lol. Just jokes though guys lmao. But I love pockets. Hands down, I love pockets more than I love myself, but that doesn’t say much to be honest 😮 self burn! I have a brand of leggings that I pretty much worship, and I mean I am not a religious bitch but these are my savior. It is so freaking convenient to be walking down the street on a warm day and nobody is wearing a coat or jacket or anything like that and they are like “uh I can’t be bothered holding my phone anymore” and I just fling my leg in front of them dramatically and point at my leg and go “suckers” and run off with empty hands and a phone in my pocket. It is just so convenient and I feel like, as a woman, the pay gap may not be a thing everywhere, but the pocket gap is more prevalent than ever. And that is quite literal. Men are fucking snails because they can bring their whole house we them, and girls are bloody struggling to put a receipt in their pocket. Then the guys all be complaining like “why you always got so much stuff in your bag lmao”. Well, Josh, why have you got car keys, your phone, a charger, a battery, a lighter, 10 pound coins, and last nights dinner in only one pocket! Answer me that bitch.

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I suppose it means that when there are decent pockets it is extra exciting. If something has nice pockets, the world gotta know. I will wear it for as long as it takes for everyone I know to appreciate it has pockets. So many of them don’t understand my excitement privileged bitches and I’m sick of it to be quite honest with you. And whenever I find a ‘pocket’ and I go to check the size of it and my fingernails can’t even fit in, you better know that just ruined my day. What cruel fuck decided to do that? What was the point? I just look like an actually idiot now because I just tried to jam my hand into fuck all! I also got an oodie for Christmas and if you don’t know what they are, they are the comfiest things in the world. Like, that wee girl from Despicable Me, the one that say “it’s so fluffy I’m gonna die”, yeah, well she would be dead from an oodie. But that’s beside the point. It has a massive pocket and I feel like a bloody Kangaroo because that is how big the pocket is. It brings me so much happiness. My dog can fit in it! What else could you want in life?

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Honestly though, why does women’s clothing always have like 0.1 pockets? Is it so we buy more bags or whatever? Is there a pocket shortage? The pocket famine? I bet you they were all made by men who wanted to keep all the pockets to themselves and now they are just laughing in their corporate office on the top floor of a skyscraper with all their millions of dollars in one pocket and their massive ego in the other. I can picture it now. How… terrifying. But yeah, who wants to sign a petition that we should all be treated equally. No person should ever have to get that fear everyday when they get no clothes. Women deserve pockets bitch! Vote for me, because pockets are our future. Wow, really got emotional there didn’t we. Imagine someone just skipped to that part after reading the title and thought that this was actually a serious post lmao. They just reading this like “what the fuck has the world come to”. But in all honesty and seriousness, is it really that hard to put an actual decent sized pocket on everyone’s clothing? It literally makes me so happy to have pockets.

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Someone please make a clothing brand called “world in my pocket”. It’s inspired by the absolute CLASSIC show “Grandpa in my pocket” and shows that the pockets won’t be minuscule and also shows that women are boss bitches because, well, we have the world in our pocket. Just make sure you give me a shout out on your site and put this post on one of your pages so others can really understand your brand. Your welcome I guess. But anyways, that is the wee rant over. I feel like I really got to your guys. Connected on a whole new level. I mean pockets are one of the greatest things and we shall not be kept away from it for any longer. But yeah, I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Weekly Reminder

Hi guys. This post is quite late but I am sure none of you really care about that. The truth is though, this week has been tough and I don’t want to hide that from you all because despite the fact I usually upload positive content and jokes etc. my life is not perfect. Not one single bit. I just wanted to be honest with you guys because it is ok to have a hard time with things and you aren’t weird for feeling that way. I am not quite sure what to write in the rest of this and I am going to keep it short because, well, long story short, I am very exhausted in more ways than one.

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I guess I just wanted to remind you all that social media is the fakest thing on this earth. More fake than that ‘pick me’ girl in the back of your class. Like the pictures you see of men with rock hard abs or girls with the ‘perfect body’ are all utter bullshit. They are put into the perfect position where the lighting is great and the makeup is on point, and then for the imperfections that are inevitable, they are photoshopped. I know you all know this anyway, but it can be so bloody easy to remember. I could look through one person’s Instagram and see how they have the perfect life with a bunch of friends, a massive house, a massive yacht, going all over the world, and at that moment it is as if everything I have ever been told doesn’t count them in it. Every other photo on Instagram is fake, except this one right here. But how? When you say it out loud it makes no fucking sense but when you look at a post, it seems like the truth. And then you scroll on and the same thing happens, and again and again and again. But what we need to ask ourselves is “have we ever seen a picture of someone in their bedroom crying, or someone feeling lonely and lost and depressed?”. That answer is most likely no. And why is that? Well, because that doesn’t get views. It may at one point but it could ruin their whole presence on social media for the rest of their life. If you saw a video of someone complaining about how miserable they were while on a sunny beach in Greece, would you subscribe to them and adore them? Or would you scoff at them and call them entitled. It’s ok if you do scoff at them. It is completely human nature because from the outside they look like pricks. And that is my point. They are fake because they have to, and despite the fact we support those who are open and honest, their career gets shot down when they do.

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So don’t get the impression that I am trying to put the blame onto society for being hypocritical or something like that, but I just wanted to remind you that people don’t like to put the sad moments of their life where everyone can see them and they only put the moments online that look like they are having the best day in the world. Even if they are happy in that moment, the next day they could be unable to get out of bed, and so they won’t post anything, and you won’t see that. So no matter how someone looks in terms of their body or their emotion, that isn’t the whole picture. We aren’t shown the whole picture and we may never know, but we need to believe that there is one and that, just like normal human beings, they aren’t perfect and neither is their life so we can’t compare ourselves to that one tiny moment of their lives. You are brilliant, you are much more than anyone knows, nobody should ever underestimate your strength, and you need to understand that everyone is blessed to have you in their life. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.


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Weekly Reminder

Hey guys, so I just wanted to say well done for getting through this week. I am sure there has been a pile of new challenges for all of you guys but the fact you are here to read this is amazing. I also kind of just wanted to make a point of saying thank … Continue reading Weekly Reminder

Who Am I?

No I am not about to do a proper “face reveal”. I am talking about the fact that as a teenager we are expected to understand who we are and what we want to do for the rest of our lives, yet, the fact is, nobody has any fucking clue. And that’s ok I always … Continue reading Who Am I?

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Superpowers You Get Living With Your Family

Don’t be expecting some type of soppy shit like “the ability to love” or “empathy” because this is not it bitch. This is the honest shit and it is especially relatable if you have siblings but maybe you do still understand. For context, I have an older sister and a twin sister and I live with my mum and dad, so yeah I can’t really speak for those with younger siblings or those with brothers. Also, if you aren’t a twin, you may learn somethings about what life as a twin is like but I mean you probably don’t give a shit so I suppose we will just get into it lol.

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Hearing

Do you guys get it as well where like you can tell who is coming by the sound of their footsteps and how they walk down stairs and like open doors or something like that because it really is a talent. It’s pretty handy though because you know that if it is your mum or dad or an adult of some sort, you just gotta get ready for either a deep convo, shouting, or your dad coming to fix something. But then there are also the times where they just come up and say hi and stand in your room for a second and then just leave WITHOUT CLOSING THE DOOR and then you ask them to close it and they go running down the stairs like there sore back has suddenly fucking healed itself. And you just lying in bed like what the actual fuck. And it is extra random because my bedroom is on the third floor and they never come up unless they have too, but they just get a burst of energy to go up and move everything around. And then, if it is your sisters, you just getting ready to scare them or fight them, or laugh uncontrollably, or throw them out of the room. It really is a wild card to be honest but all of the choices are a lot of fun. It is weird though how you can tell people by their footsteps but I guess it is cool too

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Thinking On Your Feet

You see, the thing is, when you have siblings you always want to get the last word, even if it doesn’t even make any sense, but it has to make enough sense to not get laughed at. It is quite the skill but can get really aggravating after a while because how can you end something that nobody wants to finish? It is quite the puzzle but the things you come up with are absolute comedy gold, at some times anyways. But like it kinda gets to playground come backs where you are just like “no your the idiot” or like you mumble it under your breath so they think they won but really you did, and you also do this when walking away. This kinda ties into the super hearing as well because I could be upstairs and they would be downstairs and whisper “idiot” and I would hear them. Then you have the choice of whispering it back or screaming down the stairs “I HEARD THE YOU BITCH”. The great thing about it all is that they never take offense to what you say. You could tell them they look like Donald Trump or some shit and then we would literally be on the floor laughing. The emotions change very quickly lmao

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Reading Minds

The closest that you can come to relating to this if you don’t have siblings is when you can look at your best fried from across the room and you just know what they are thinking. Like if the teacher is talking absolute shit and you just look over at your friend and they look back, it is pretty much that. An example of when this happened was when my dad was telling this absolute random story that sounded as though it was going to have a big shock factor at the end but it just was such a pointless story and then I was like “great story dad” and then he looked at me like I just insulted his mother and I just looked at my twin and we just started pissing ourselves it was so funny. I guess humor has changed a lot or something because he was not impressed. But like nowadays that is just how you talk to your friends. Sarcastically. So me and my twin were dying at how he found it offensive. Does anyone else do it where you walk into a room and your sister is there and you just stare at them straight in the eyes with a straight face for like a couple of seconds and then either just walk away or go like “boo” or scream or some crap. I feel like I am the only one that does that and it is a real bonding moment if you get me. Highly recommend.

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Vigilance

I swear to god I literally gotta be James Bond in this hoe because you are never safe walking into another room. You never know when someone is gonna jump out at you and you gotta scan the perimeter as tough we were escorting a celebrity (I was going to say president but…) Like I literally check the crack through the door and I analyse every shadow and reflection. The biggest success is when you realise they are going to jump out so you scare them first. How the turns table. I get scared when I go out of the bathroom because that is the most vulnerable place to be in my opinion. And also you gotta be prepared for something else. This is mostly when you go in their room and usually only happens when you are younger, but you gotta look out for booby traps. I remember that when me and my twin were like 6 or something, my twin went into my sisters room to tell her dinner was ready and then a fucking encyclopedia fell from the ceiling and hit her on the head lmao. It is those moments that would make me a bad parent because I would actually be crying because it is so funny. Like absolute genius move. You can’t take things too serious in this job. This job being a sibling. That was quite the funny moment though, but I have never had it happen to me. Maybe it is more of an american thing or something. I might have to give it a try. But surely it’s a bit obvious like, if you were talking to someones door and there is just a pile of books and you can see your sister looking evil and about to laugh, I don’t think it will work anymore. Guess we gotta find out. IT WORKED LMAO

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Loyalty

That isn’t really a superpower but I didn’t really know how to word it. Basically what I mean is that you know when to pick your battles and you can change your objectives in a second. For example, I could be talking shit right in front of them, but if I hear anyone say the littlest thing, they will be body slammed by me. Like no matter who they are or what they say, I will be coming for them you know. Like the confidence comes from nowhere it’s literally crazy. I myself am a socially awkward bitch, but you know I’m about to cause a scene if needs be. Can’t nobody treat my sister with anything less than love. Don’t test me bitches because it may seem like I hate them but in reality they mean the world to me and I will do what it takes for her to get the respect she deserves. So yeah, whatever superpower that is. Is it shape shifting? Or like a hulk thing where you just get all the power in the world? Who knows? Who cares?

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Anyways, these are just a few of the powers you get when you are a sister. They can vary from family to family I suppose but these are the most relatable ones that I know. If there are any things you and your siblings do, or your family in general, go ahead and comment down below, I would love to see what you guys do and I might mention them in my next post. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.


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Money Can’t Solve Your Pro… Shut The Fuck Up

In the wise words of Ariana Grande, “whoever said money can’t solve your problems must not have had enough money to solve ’em” and I live by that honestly. It is true though. Like a lot of my problems are caused by money but can also be fixed by them soooo. But every time I hear that phrase, I just think of the mugs that we all got as a kid and it would say “money can’t buy happiness but it can buy you cupcakes” and we would literally eat it up. We thought we were so fucking relatable when we had bloody chocolate milk in that mug or something like that. That’s what I hate though whenever I tell people I want to get rich and live the life I want and they are like “but money isn’t everything. It can’t solve your problems” and I just look at them like “I don’t give a flying fuck if it doesn’t solve my problems. It would be impossible to solve that many. Even my therapist can’t do it bitch, but I would rather be depressed in Greece under the sun with a lovely view, than stuck in Northern Ireland with the view of bloody chavs roaming around the streets. You get me? I mean which one do you prefer? Be honest.

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And I think that having a lot of money wouldn’t solve all my problems, but it could solve someone else’s. I want to do charity work in Africa or something or like give a homeless person a house, but if I don’t have the money, what the fuck am I going to do? Walk up to a homeless person and say “you see that house there. That is yours… is what I would say if I have the money but I don’t” *walks away* I mean that doesn’t sound fair to me. And I don’t see why people get so pressed whenever you talk about wanting lots of money. Like I’m just talking to my family or something and I’m like “yeah I want to get rich and travel the world” and they look at me like I just turned into fucking Donald Trump and as though I’m a disappointment for wanting to be successful. Mum and Dad just be like “I thought we brought you up well! I can’t believe you’ve just done this!” *me laughing because I am now thinking of that one vine*

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Yeah, I hope other people got that reference because that would be quite embarrassing if you didn’t. But back on topic. Why is it that people think money is such a bad thing. When people win the lottery, others are like “awk you don’t even need all that money, why did they even take the money oh my god” and I don’t know if they are just jealous or something but like if someone went up to you and was like “well done you won the lottery of £20 million” and you were like “no it’s ok I don’t really want it. Thank you” and they are like “but you literally bought a fucking ticket for it” and then your like “money doesn’t solve your problems, so no thank you” and then the guy says “£20 million fucking will you dumb fuck”. Like honestly, you entered it for a reason. So many people do. Do you want to not win it? Do you just like to complain that you never get it, when in reality you would just throw it away if you won. Like yes it is a lot of money but it doesn’t mean they are just gonna wipe their ass with it. They probably will donate some or do something nice with it. It isn’t their fault for entering a lottery like normal. They didn’t harry potter the fuck out of the numbers so they won. It is all by chance. So like why are people judging them the fuck! Make it make sense please because right now I would be loving a couple million in the bank.

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I could list about 100 problems that money could solve for me. That isn’t even a joke. I wouldn’t have to go to school or work ever again, I could travel and see things I never would have been able to see, I could help the less fortunate, I would have more of a voice, I could actively do things to improve the planet, I could do things like skydiving that I have never done before, I could pay for my mum and dad to never go to work again, I could support so many of the people I love. But then again that would make me selfish, no? I think it would be pretty bloody great to get a load of money you know. So to whatever numskull first said “money can’t solve your problems”, I dare you to win the lottery and find out what it solves, because hopefully it could fix your fucking brain for thinking money won’t do anything. But here’s what I will do. I will try my hardest to become rich and gather a lot of money, and then I will be the judge that will end the question of whether or not it solves my problems and at the moment, my guess is that it will, so just wait a few years and I’ll get back to you *sips wine from “money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you cupcakes”mug*

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Thank you so much for reading this post. It was a tad random, but lets be honest, it was necessary. Who else thinks that money could solve their problems? I know that some of mine could. Not all of them like but money can also pay for a therapist which could help. I don’t know, but hopefully we will find out. Please like, comment and subscribe if you enjoyed this content and I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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Check Out Some Of My Other Posts

Weekly Reminder

Hey guys, so listen, I know that for a lot of us out there, this week has been so fucking tough and I know that you don’t have the words or the energy to explain how you feel but I have an important message that I really want you to hear and I promise I … Continue reading Weekly Reminder

Socialising Is A Task

I am going to sound like the most introverted person in the world in this post but I swear that I have my reasons. First of all, let’s get something out there. We need to normalise having a people free day. This is one of the hardest things about going back to school because you … Continue reading Socialising Is A Task

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Do You Know What’s Weird? Sleeping

Right, hear me out guys. This may sound like utter shite but I swear when you think about it for long enough, it literally makes no fucking sense, or well, at least it is such an amazingly weird thing. There is just a time of day where you could walk down the street and everyone around you, in their houses of course, is sleeping. Like nobody is awake at that moment. The world quite literally shuts down. The lights go out, we are pretty much unconscious, everything is closed except for clubs and really sketchy areas. But it is so weird that half of the world is like “ok, i’m done” and that is relatable as fuck, but again, what the actual hell. And then sleeping itself is a whole thing. I mean we just lie on this cuboid of feathers or cotton and shut our eyes for however long it takes to fall asleep and then BAM you are awake and literally 8 hours have passed (if you’re lucky) and we just act as though that is normal. And it is such a vulnerable moment as well. We are literally lifeless, our eyes closed, and we just vibe as though nobody could break into our house and just stab us or something. Sorry if that gave anyone anxiety, you would wake up in time don’t worry :/

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But what is it with sleeping. Like why is it that we have to literally sleep in the dark and get all comfy in a bed and shit, while animals literally have to sleep in shit and the cold and they just vibe. Yes you could say they have fur but like we have clothes and we still have to have a bloody sun in our room to fall asleep. To be honest, I would be so raging if I was an animal and couldn’t sleep under a blanket. I would have to become one of those dogs you see on tiktok that are so cute and literally wrap themselves up in their blanket and you realise how dumb your dog actually is because they literally walk into a glass window even if it is all smudgy 😐 But imagine how scary it would be if you were like the first living thing on earth and it was getting dark and you were with your mates and all of a sudden you were like “bro bro BRO I can’t keep my eyes open” and they were like “bro what?!” and you were like “my eyelids are like heavy or something bro! I’m seeing darkness and shit”. “Bro that’s so cra… OH SHIT BRO my eyes are heavy too!” and then you be screaming and you and your friend just conk out and in the morning you are like “shit bro! It’s bright again. My eyes aren’t even heavy? Bro, are we… dead” and your friend is like “I don’t know bro, but then again I am literally just a cell so… I mean I didn’t even know we had eyes until a couple of hours ago”. The end. I really have no clue what these stories even are. I mean what the even fuck. Please do say if I am going too far but like, I don’t give a shit so.

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Back on topic though. Our body has literally evolved to be like “ok so we kinda need to not work for a couple of hours, but like, we will also be working even harder than usual if that’s ok with you” and we just accept it like “yeah I trust you to keep me alive while I literally have no control over anything” and then our body is like “nice! As a thank you we are going to give you magical stories during the night that will make your actual life seem like actual shit and you will be depressed that it is gone. But if we accidentally give you a good one, we will delete it from your memory in a split second. Thanks again.” and we just like “that doesn’t sound fun at all actually. Maybe I should just stay up because I mean you still work when I am asleep anyways so…” and then our body is like “bitch Imma give you a headache if you don’t go to bed ok! And I’m going to make you feel so tired that you won’t be able to do nothing else BITCH”. Like it’s weird but like ok. And I know that there is all kinds of science behind sleeping and why we do it, but if we just forget science for a teeny tiny moment and just have a teeny tiny existential crisis, sleeping is so confusing and crazy.

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Then there are the people who feel like they are literal Jesus or something and they go frolicking around saying “I don’t even need sleep man. It’s just a ploy that mattress companies put in our head. I mean I haven’t slept in like 3 days man and look at me, I’m toooottaaallly fine dude *looks like an old sac of skin with some no life behind his eyes* America is the land of the free do I don’t even have to listen to all that science shit you know” and these people are also always anti-maskers and anti-vax people who think they are revolutionary but are really just paranoid and self-conscious. Can’t you die from a lack of sleep though? I mean it sounds quite dramatic if you ask me. You seriously are about to just shut down because I wouldn’t close my eyes for a few hours, what are you? A baby. I mean come on. And also one last thing that I am completely pissed about everyday. Why the hell am I still tired after sleeping?! Was that not enough for you body because it seems like you be needing a lot of shit these days. You need sleep, you need exercise, you need fed, you need sun, you need water, you need rest, you need washed, you need every fucking thing in the world and you know what? I’m sick of it to be quite frank with you.

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LOL anyways that was quite the rant today wasn’t it. I hope you are all have a great time during summer, or if you are still in school I hope you are coping ok. Surely it is nearly over right? Well depending on when you read this. Maybe you are some sort of galactic alien who randomly snatched a phone for some reason typed “do you know what is weird? Sleep” and if that is you, alien, give them their fucking phone back bitch. Cha anyways, I hope you have a good day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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My Only Summer Goal

To all my friends out there, I am sorry bitches but like this is my big goal. You are already my whole life so that’s why it isn’t a goal but of course I will still spend time with you. Or I will for as long as my mental state will let me lol. That was totally irrelevant to be honest lol because I don’t think any of them read this, if you do though please comment below lmao, or not because, well, I don’t care 😮 But anyways, I am just rambling so let me tell you what my one goal is for summer. Drum roll please… BECOMING MY OWN BOSS AND NOT HAVING TO GO TO SCHOOL EVER AGAIN IF I DON’T WANT TO. Quite the ambitious one isn’t it. But this summer I have 3 and a half months off for summer so if I work my ass off with my blogs and other affiliate marketing things on the side, surely I can get at least enough money to prove to my mum I can do it.

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The other week I was kinda like “I donny know if I want to go back to school for my A levels” and then she was like “ok, you don’t have to” (in the petty mum voice which sends shivers down your spine) “but you have to come up with a plan of action” and I was like “you know what, I will bitch” and so I sat down with pen and paper for a second and then was like “fuck” I have no clue how to bloody get there. But the great thing is, I am young so really I have no financial responsibilities of having to provide for my family and I shouldn’t even have to think about that yet. The thing is though, when I get to A levels I won’t have as much time to do all this stuff, but summer started yesterday for me, so I have all the time in the world (well… 3 and a half months) to be able to reach my goal of financial freedom. And trust me, I am bloody scared that at the end of that time I will be on this blog like “heyyy, so… here’s the thing… BYE” because I can’t really afford to pay for this blog if I have a McDonalds minimum wage, you know.

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And I know this sounds like I am about to go into this whole “GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONEY” type shit, but in reality I am only talking about this here because then I will feel like all of you guys are going to judge me if I don’t get it, and you will know about everything I do so I can’t just drop out as though nothing happens. So that is why I am kinda giving this a whole post, not for the charity lmao, but for the pressure :] But yeah, if you could give some motivational speeches in the comments or something that would be great. I know what I want to do to achieve it like, but kinda feel like I will chicken out or just accept I will have to stay at a 9-5 job for the rest of my life. And if by the end of summer I haven’t made my goal, please add some resumes in the comment section because I will need the help. I really do have confidence in myself don’t I.

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You may be wondering, “why the hell do you want to make that your summer goal? Why not a hot girl summer or something like that?”. Bitch you obviously haven’t met my pasty ass because I am not attractive or confident enough to do that, so why not just hide away until I have the money to become tan as fuck and get all the babes in Miami instead of bloody Portrush which is teeming with chavs and pedos? I also don’t want to have to live a paycheck-to-paycheck life because that isn’t me. I want to be able to earn passive income and eventually make it so that my parent’s never have to work again, and I can go on holidays and do whatever the hell I want, and also give back to others like actually getting my hands dirty by building schools in Africa or some shit like that. I want to make a change while making money too. And it most likely won’t happen but I am used to disappointments and I already am one so what do I have to loose? Literally nothing. Maybe just some self-respect but I don’t have much of that anyways, so I am going to fucking try because this might be the last chance I ever get. Comment down below if you have any motivation or tips and tell me what your goal for summer is? I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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Weekly Reminder

My last ever GCSE exam (hopefully) is on tomorrow. Pretty freaky. Didn’t really think I would make it this far. I was wanting to do one of the things where it is like after 2 years, 107 hours of study, 20 mental break downs etc. but I can’t add up all of the mental breakdowns I had because it is a fuck tone, while on the other hand, I could count all my study hours on one hand. Why is that literally not even a joke though lol? But anyway, this is serious. I have my biology exam tomorrow and let’s just say it isn’t my strong point, but I am excited to get it done and over with after 5 years of being forced to do it. I am kinda scared, kind of excited, very much exhausted, but I just wanted to make a reminder to all of the people out there who are in a similar situation or are doing something difficult at the moment. You never know, somebody could be reading this in 2050 on mars and they are reading this in their mind thinking it is so retro that I have to use my fingers to type and they are just vibing in some space hope. Either that or WW3 wiped all of humanity out lol. But even if you are that person, I hope this will help you in some way, although isn’t the only problem is the shortage of mums? Mars needs mums :/ sorry that was a bad one I have to admit. This is supposed to be serious actually, but I also wanted to talk about it in another way, through a story. So enjoy.

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I am on the first step. You know, the steps you are told to take if you want to succeed. There are only 4 of them which seems easy, but it’s kinda hard. But maybe I am just overthinking these things. The first step, the one I am on, is getting straight A’s in school. That was a hard one to. I had to ignore friends and write lots of notes. I got very little sleep, but I got there eventually. Sure, I lost a lot, but it’s worth it, right? My next step is getting a degree. This one seems fun with the parties and friends, but I can’t quite see why people pay so much for it. I guess I will find out when I’m there. The thing is, step 2 is quite dangerous in terms of survival. A lot of people usually don’t make it past here because of mental problems, some completely lose the degree and go tumbling down the stairs. I have never seen anyone get back up after falling down. But that won’t happen to me. Obviously, it won’t, because I am different. My parents told me so. After you get your degree you can move on to step 3. Or as it better know, the point of no return. Once you get there they don’t let you back down, or at least they very rarely do. What is up there? Oh, a secure job. Or, well, they call it secure, but I have seen lots of people fall down from there. But that won’t happen to me when I get up there. I am going to be so smart and ready, and just like my parents said, I am different. So I am not worried about it. You have to stay there for a while though. Pretty much for the majority of your life. But it’s cool. You can get a family and a house. But that is pretty much it, I suppose.

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Then comes the last step. Step 4. That can only happen if you have gathered a good enough pension in step 3. If not, then you are booted down the steps again. I don’t think they do much up there though. It is a lot of waiting to go through the pearly gates at the end. Why? Because the pension they got usually doesn’t leave much room for adventure and by that point, they are exhausted. Who can blame them though, it is an awfully long journey. I am not sure what is past the gates though. People come up with all types of stuff and it is pretty cool. I am looking forward to it I guess. I mean if I went all that way to get there, it better be worth it. But no matter what, I am still on the first step. Just waiting on the cold rock steps. People seem to like it here, but I don’t. I can’t stop getting the feeling that there is something more. I have asked others about it, but they say that is all fake and never actually happens. Especially to people like us. But I swear that at times when I look around, I see other steps in the distance. It just flickers and maybe it is a hallucination, but it seems so real. So fascinating. There are never many people on it though, despite the fact that it looks so much nicer than over here. Every time I see it, it stays for longer and it gets closer. I am fed up with trying to show the others because they make me feel crazy and it makes me move farther away. So I keep this to myself in hopes that someday I get close enough to reach them.
It’s been a week. I am on the 3rd step now. I mean it is fun but it gets me distracted from the other steps. I feel as though I am always looking at what else there is, and not at the next step to success like everyone else. I think I am just dreaming and I haven’t come to terms that this is the best way for me to get to the gates. The way that I can make my parents proud of me and get the right job for a comfortable retirement. It still bugs me though. I mean why, after all these years of being so set on what to do and how I will do it, I suddenly don’t want it anymore. I mean I am fixating on the impossible.

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Another week. I have decided that I am going to jump. I can’t bear being on these steps anymore when I know that there is something else out there. At this point, I don’t even care if I don’t find anything because it will always be better than there. I have lost too many people to step 3 and I don’t want to become one of them. I have no skills for this, no knowledge. All of my schooling years have taught me nothing about how to make it to the other steps, so I have to find it on my own. There is no turning back now, but I am going to try everything I can to get to a better place.
I’ve made it! After all the long, lonely weeks, I have found the steps. I made sure to not let it out of my sight. I put everything I had left into getting there and I made it. When I got there, I looked up and my breath was taken away. I finally found where I was meant to be. The steps were nicely laid out, there weren’t as many people, it looked like a steep trek, but each seemed so much better than the one before. The people who fall down a step don’t get stuck at the bottom. They seem to have the support of some kind. I am pretty sure they call it knowledge, or determination, or something along those lines. There are so many more steps, but they get easier and shorter every time you get to the next one. The people look so much happier here than on my other step. Why did nobody tell me about this? Why was I told that the steps to success were over there when the ones right in front of me seem so much better? Well, I guess it is time to find out. It is time to get started.
I am on the first step. You know, the steps that were only in the movies and never talked about. There are many to go which seems hard, but it’s kinda awesome. Maybe I am different after all.
———————————————————— The end ————————————————————

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Anyways, that’s the story. What this kind of means is just that, despite what other’s tell you and what you think is right, there are different steps out there. Despite the fact you might be told it is ridiculous or fake, it is possible. So no matter what happens with your exams, or later on in life, you aren’t useless, these just aren’t the steps for you. But when you find them, you will be so happy and it will be so worth the wait. So take the risk, go against what they say, and it will be so worth it.


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Here’s The Thing About GCSEs…

So yesterday I just finished my last ever English exam and saying I am buzzing is pretty much an understatement. I mean I am pretty sure I failed it but it is over now so I don’t give a shit. But the thing is, GCSEs weren’t even such a big deal. Maybe that is because of corona or something, but literally I didn’t revise until the night before for all of them. Now of course it is a bit different this year. There aren’t as many and we knew more about what was going to be on the exam, but like still. And I am kinda raging about it because for the past 5 years I have literally been working my ass off just to get good grades in my trackers which don’t even matter, but when it comes to my GCSEs I have literally given up. Maybe that is saying something about my mental health?

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What was I getting at again? Oh yes, so for the past few years I have literally been looking at GCSEs like they were the devil. They aren’t no perfect peter like, but they aren’t as bad as they seem. The truth is, I get more stressed out that I am not stressed out, because these kind of determine my future so if I don’t do well in them, let’s just say I will have to get used to the smell of McDonalds. The fear kind of only hits me right before when I literally just sit down to do it and then realise “oh shit, I don’t know anything”. But at that point it is too late and I have to rely on others being in the same position. My excuse though is just that I am not great at memorizing words and putting them down on a test, which is pretty much exactly what GCSEs are, a memory test. I think that is why I like languages because it is testing what you know, not what you can memorise and forget about later. Like, I hate the writing part of Spanish because that is just memorizing things, but for reading and listening, you can’t learn things word for word and it just tests your general knowledge of it.

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I have to admit, the GCSE years were the best so far. Well, despite the fact there was a pandemic and I was actually out of school more than I was in it, but the vibes and the classes were better. Especially the last couple of months, because you have the motivation of “I will never have to do this topic ever again”. Like when I finished my essay and finally put my pen down I was just thinking that I will never have to analyse the significance of the colour brown or the full stop at the end of a sentence. I will never have to learn a 10 page essay by heart just so I can at least pass. I will never have to hear and see the teacher’s passive aggressive face and voice as the go “hmmmmmmmm WELlllllLLLLllll you are on the right track, you aren’t wrong, but let’s develop that a bit, Ok?”. The subjects I have been forced to do that brought me internal suffering are done forever and it is literally like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. And quite literally because my English file weighs a fuck ton.

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That being said though, in your GCSE years, you get to know your teacher’s better and they begin to actually respect you and get to know you. You get to see the teacher’s who genuinely love their job and you start to tear up at the idea that you don’t have much time left with them. I only have one day left of school this year, and despite the fact I have 2 years ahead of me, I was gonna miss the teachers. There are gonna be some that I will never have again because I don’t do their subject, yet they are literally my favourite people. Yesterday, one of our french teachers made crepes for everyone for form period and apparently she had spent the past 5 nights staying up to make them for us. And the look on her face because she was so proud of herself and happy at being a teacher, near made me cry. And then there are other teacher’s running around talking to you, getting photos and helping out. They are literally like your other mums and dads. This is the moment where you see the teacher’s that genuinely love being a teacher and it is so great because in first year or third year, you just saw them as teachers who give you lots of homework, but then later on you realise they are actual people and have personalities. You are able to see how much effort they put in everyday to take care of us and give us the best education and support that they need. Maybe that is just my school, but I know that when I leave in 2 years, I am going to miss some of those teachers more than I do some of the students. Although too be fair a lot of the students are bloody annoying lol

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So if you are a teacher, or even my teacher! I just want you to know that we are so greatful for what you do. I know as first years we don’t fully understand what you do for us, but when we get older and get to know you more, we appreciate what you do for us everyday and how you make us feel so comforted and included. So keep doing what you are doing. And if you are a student, just know that, although my years have been different, GCSE years are life changing so try to enjoy them despite the stress. The teachers genuinely do care and you will most likely remember them for the rest of your life. Take each day at a time and just enjoy it. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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Could I Be Bothered? | Part 3

Hey guys. So this week has been a very “what the fuck” week if you get me. Like there are a lot of moments where I have been asking myself “what is even the point lol”. NO, I don’t mean that in a mentally ill kinda way, but like when I am told to do things or I see someone doing something, I am just wondering why the fuck I would do it

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A marathon
Do I really need to say anymore? I mean why the hell would I be like “on my time on this earth, I will only feel proud when I can run a fucking long distance”. Bitch what sort of trauma do you have because that isn’t sane people shit. Like I am sorry but why would you want to. You would get so bloody bored as well. So you are sore, tired and bored, I go through that all on a regular bases anyways, so I don’t really see the need to run to get those things. I mean I suppose I could see if it is for a charity, but like Mo Farah and other Olympian people literally do it as a warm up or something. I used to run and do 5k but that shit was so boring and I hated every second of it. To any runners out there, are you ok?

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Camping
I just know that my friends are reading this like “will this bitch ever let it go” because we are making a bucket list of things to do during summer and a couple of them were like absolutely, camping is such a great idea, and me and others are like “but why”. But like seriously, this needs talked about. Why would I willing sleep outside, in the cold, where there is no body that can hear me scream, no help near, I have to piss in the woods, sleep with insects, get all smelly, have to carry a bunch of things there and back, not have a very nice meal, literally be kidnapped etc. When I could literally be warm in my bed, watching a movie, hear the rain from the comfort of my house, no insects, have nice food, not have to carry anything anywhere, relax, piss in an actual toilet, and have less chance of being murdered in my sleep. Like give me a reason why camping sounds better? There argument was that it is an adventure and unique, but bitch the only thing making it unique is that you won’t be able to do it again because you are dead. Like… And it is hardly like you are going to do anything groundbreaking when you get there. Like you are hardly going to set up a tent on top of dinosaur bones, or right next to a top-secret Russian spy base. Like we live in Northern Ireland. The most you are going to find is an empty Guinness can.

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Relationship
I am definitely not mentioning this just because I never have a chance with going out with anyone, so don’t get that idea in your head :/ But in all seriousness, are you telling me I have to pay attention and talk to them on a regular bases and leave my house? I don’t do that with my friends so why would a man be any difference? I have been in a relationship once and, maybe it was just the guy, but it really ain’t all roses and kisses. Like it is tiring as fuck. Maybe if you find an actual nice person, but like other than that I could not be bothered. I really have lost all faith in men at the moment so maybe I am biased. But at the moment I am fine with just living in my shell, only talking to people when I have an ounce of sanity, and having no real responsibility to go out with people and be interesting. lol

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The Responsibilities of Being Famous
I am not gonna lie. I feel like it would be cool to be famous and have a bunch of people who know you and actually like you, but then you hear so many stories and then I am like “ok maybe no”. Like they have to go to award ceremonies, talk to people, act happy all the time, always say the right thing, always have to post and be active on social media and things like that. They all have really busy lifestyles, and for me productive day is having a shower. Like maybe I am just having a mental breakdown, but surely they have them too and they still need to keep on doing so many things. Maybe it is worth it, I will never really know that, but like do they ever just get a day to stay at home and do literally nothing?

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Being a Mum
So this one might be a controversial, might get on some people’s nerves, but like if it does you are probably a misogynistic twat so… But what I mean is that, I would like to have children and be a mum, but it is the things you have to do as a mum that gets me. Not even the dirty nappy’s or the no sleep part, but the fact that I feel as though mums are still the people doing all the house work. At least it is like that in my family. My mum has a job, like my dad, but she does more work in the office, at home, does the dishes, makes the dinner, cleans, brings us to and from school, the laundry, literally everything. I am not sure if it is like that for all people but it is for me and although I try to help out, I can’t do enough to help her. My dad just works and does the dishes/makes dinner whenever he actually has to. The reason I said this might be a bit controversial is because some people will definitely say “oh well women are supposed to be in the kitchen. They are supposed to do those jobs” and I am not saying all of these things should be put onto men, but like why can’t it be equal work for both of us. I don’t want to become a mum if it means it will turn into the traditional gender roles in society, you know.

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Lol anyways, this is kinda what I think about sometimes. It really got a bit deep at the end there didn’t it but like oh well. Please like, comment and subscribe if you enjoyed this type of content. I think it is a wee bit of a laugh and I enjoy it. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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How I Would Describe Earth To An Alien

What is earth? Firstly, it’s not flat. But shit, that’s a tough one. In one perspective, it is so large but so absolutely minuscule and insignificant in the grand scheme of things, yet it makes up everything we see and do and live for. It is a floating rock rotating around a ball of gas that is moving at unknown speeds through a large vat of nothingness, but yet everythingness (if that is even a word). It is such a miraculous thing to see and learn about and it is placed in the perfect place for life and intelligence to form which is absolutely crazy but… then comes the other perspective. There is life in that insignificantly significant flying rock. There are people who live in it like it is normal. There are people who live in it like it is not a scientific wonder. And sadly that is a lot of them. You see Mr alien, a lot of people, including myself, hate that rock. They hate it so much that they it ruins there life and they loose sight of it’s beauty. The earth is a cruel place and has so many rules and problems and such awful memories lie in it.

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You see, there are people in there who have chosen to own the land and create rules so they can control us. Don’t get me wrong, they have done pretty amazing stuff. Like you can send an image from one side of the world to the other in less than a second. And you can fly in a rocket to the moon. But the people on earth like to focus on the negative for some reason. They always put the negatives as the headline of the news. The news is thing that is shown around the world, telling us what is happening. Or at least they are meant to. They usually just put in what they want us to hear and not what is important. But anyways, they like to remind us of how terrible life is, and very rarely to they just say “a lot of things are happening in the world, but you need to remember that if we all stick together, we can get through this”. I guess that would be hard though because, and I forgot to tell you this, certain people down there think they are better than others. Why? I don’t know, I think it is stupidity and ignora… oh, well it is to do with race, religion and beliefs, just to name a few. You see there is this book called the bible that people misunderstand and they use this to justify their points, when in reality they are just bad people who are really going against the bible, the very thing they live for. But yeah, there are people of different colours on earth, and that’s just because the colour of our skin has evolved over so many years to look different depending on what country or part of the world you live in or your ancestors lived in. It is completely natural and everybody is still a human, but some people decide that, because they are white, they are superior. You see, on earth, they have created an image of what a perfect human being is. A straight, white manly man. But that isn’t true, yet some people live by that and it breaks the world apart. So many things have been normalised on earth, yet there is no ‘normal’. It is confusing to explain I guess.

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Also on earth, the people live a pretty routine life. They are born, and at the age of only 3-4, they are put into these things called school. It is where they go to learn all types of things like math, English, science and art. What? No, it lasts for at least 14 years, not just 1. Huh? No, they don’t like it. In fact, it kind of ruins things for them. We teach them everything and they are then judged of a letter on a piece of paper. I would say a majority of it is useless. I mean it is good to know how to read and add but I don’t really remember the last time I had to work out the circumference of a circle. And yeah, pretty much there self-worth and there future relies on the first years of their life. And it destroys there mental health like nothing else. Yup, because of stress, peer pressure, expectations, the fear of the future, and that is only naming a few. And yet, unlike everything else in the world, it has not changed. They are still taught in rows, everyone taught the same way, the same schedule, the same expectations. We don’t know why, but for some reason they don’t want to catch up. Now, I don’t have long because I need to get back home, but just let me simplify this for you. The world is such a confusing and wonderful place, but the people inside have stripped it of it’s worth and meaning. They have made so many things in an effort to protect and improve it, but in reality it makes us loose sight of what really matters. It makes us hate the entirety of the earth and it’s content. It is a wonderfully, terrifyingly, painfully confusing place. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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Weekly Reminder | Who Is The Baddest B*tch?

For the past couple of weeks I have been making more comforting weekly reminders, but it’s about time we speed this shit up. Its time for some hype and I am here for it. This is gonna be cringed as fuck but I don’t give a crap because it is what it is and nobody even cares!

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You see, we live our whole life wondering “what will they think about me” and “that will be embarrassing” as if we should give a fuck. You are the baddest bitch and nobody can top it. If they are judging you, they just are pointing out the things they wish they had. I’m not about to go and preach “life is short” because I think it is a fucking long time to be honest, but no matter how long you live, there is no time for crap and you should be using that time to live your best life. I mean think of it. What good comes out of thinking about what others think? Literally nothing. You get fake friends. You have low self-esteem and you most likely live in fear id being caught. But when you live like you want, you may have less friends, but those that you have are the best, and you don’t have to be fake, you are more comfortable being yourself.

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It is always when after you change yourself that you realise it was a mistake, so let me save you the time. If you are thinking about everyone else but yourself when making a decision, don’t fucking do it. Block out all the noise telling you that it matters what they think because chances are they don’t give a fuck and chances are they aren’t going to benefit you at all. Whether you like it or not, you are the only thing that matters, and for some reason we can never accept that, but if anyone dares tell you otherwise just remember what a bad bitch you are. You don’t need the validation of any fucking person because you are all you need and others are just a bonus. You need to live your best life, and you need to block out any person that tries to take that away from you because they have no right to take your shine. So whenever you go out to a party, or even just to the supermarket, you go in like the confident bitch you are because people should be honored to even say hello to you. You are one of the greatest people in that room and can’t nobody tell you otherwise.

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So don’t you dare listen to anyone else. Listen to this and only this because everyone else is telling lies, but this is the truth and I know it. You need to know it too. Take a look what you can do and have done. You have gone through a pandemic, through life, your live on the ‘Goldilocks’ planet, breathing, sleeping, digesting, putting smiles on peoples faces, changing the world with every step you make. Nobody like you has ever or will ever be on this planet, so you gotta show them all that you got. Go down in history because you are so amazing and unique and inspiring. I love you and so do so many other people. Make sure nobody ever underestimates you. You are worth so much more than their time and their thoughts and all the things that they judge you for. Live the life you want and shout “eat my dust bitches”. Become friends with those on your level, the ones who match your speed. And if they start to slow done, you keep going. You keep doing what you need to do because that is what you want to do and nobody should take that goal away from you. PERIODT

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The School Newspaper (The Biggest Joke)

I don’t know if the american’s are taking over our school or what, but they decided to do a wee school newspaper. I thought that sounded cool and I was interested in reading it, but on the front cover, there were a few things that got me thinking ya know. Just a few points I would have changed completely, just to bring the truth back you know. But yeah, lets get started,

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At the bottom of the cover it said ‘we wanted to give the pupils an outlet to express their opinions, interests and passions’. I just wanted to ask, who put the gun to that writers head because that was a pile of shit. Also don’t worry, we haven’t been fully converted to the american ways so I was talking about a metaphorical gun. Just so you guys know. Anyways, lets get back on track. From my many years of experience, school really has done fuck all for our interests and passions, and don’t even get me started on our opinions. You should see their bloody face whenever we give our opinion on something. It is literally a scene from a horror movie. Even in English class whenever your analysis is basically 100% made up and what you think it is, there is still a right and a wrong answer. They could literally write a movie about how someone gave a separate opinion in English and then the teacher killed them with her stare. They seem so offended, but like you don’t even know what the fucking answer is because they teach you fuck all. That isn’t even a joke. My English teachers literally always say “this has to be pupil lead, ok. I can’t teach you this, you need to do it yourself”… Why the fuck are you here then? Seriously? Because for the past 30 minutes I have been travelling into the darkest areas of my brain, just to figure out why the fuck they put a “and” in the middle of the sentence. The amount of shit I come up with really is worrying, but they expect us to know everything about the text, despite the fact we don’t give a fuck. And that is the truth. My teacher was literally like “why does the host sing” and we were like, I don’t know, and she was like “well obviously because he was part of a choir in the 1960’s. That is so obvious guys, because it says in the book ‘hello’. You really need to try guys”. I don’t even know what to say anymore because shit is flying everywhere, but there is not a fuck in sight. Do the teachers actually believe what is coming out of their mouth or is it a universal joke, because if it is, it isn’t funny anymore. Why can’t I enjoy a book of a movie without having to think of the word placement!

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The title of the school newspaper is also called “the student voice” but like we aren’t even talking about our opinions really and it is only a one off thing. They really said, “smile for the camera” and then throw us back in the bin afterwards. Like I 100% know that at the next open morning they will have a fucking field day talking about how they really wanted to hear our opinions and that they are such an accepting school, and all the parents are going to die for it. Then there is just us at the back, not taking any of the crap they are saying. It kinda makes me laugh though because we literally have no voice in anything. Yes they are good at asking us, but it goes in one ear and out the other and you can tell on their face that they don’t give a crap what you have to say. You could be crying like “school is so stressful and I feel like it needs to be more organised with homework and tests and over all support with mental health” and they will give you the creepy smile and say “ok. Who is next?” as though we are a fucking McDonalds drive through.

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I do have to admit though, my school (which shall not be named~Voldemort :0) is quite good to us. Most of the teachers are nice, once you get past 3rd year of course, and it isn’t too bad in terms of school life. It isn’t perfect but it is the systems fault and they don’t have a lot of control over that part. They are fairly inclusive I have to admit and I am glad to go there… Why the fuck did this just turn into an ad for my school. Watch me read this on opening day lol. But yeah anyways, I just thought the newspaper was a bit of a massive lie which is a tad bit funny. I think if I were to write something in the newspaper I would write about something like “what do you do when you run out of fucks to give” or “how to dodge the bullshit”. Those sound like self-help books that I wanna read to be honest lol, but I don’t think my school would allow the inappropriate language. So sorry about that loves. They literally die over 2 earrings or if you have one strand of dyed hair, so maybe my taste in content is a tad too much for them at the moment.

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Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this content because I feel this was quite the relatable one. Wish me luck also because I have my Chemistry and Spanish test today and I am supposed to be studying that right now, but if you read yesterdays post, you will know that I am right on schedule. Believe it or not, this blog is my way of trying to escape school so maybe I can make money from this instead, but we will have to see. It is fun anyways, so if I end up at a 9-5 office job I can just do this on the computer instead of actual work. Please like, comment and subscribe if you like this content and I will see you tomorrow with even more. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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I Am Confusion

Right, can someone please tell me why the FUCK is everyone getting married. Now, I don’t mean people in their 20’s or their 30’s or anything normal like that. But I mean people my fucking age, a teenager, getting married! I mean, I get it. True love and all at shit and meeting the love of your life but for fuck sake mate. You are still learning the reproduction system in biology class so give it a break luv. Every time I open my bloody snapchat there is another person I know that is getting married and here I am lying in my bed, looking like chewbacca, with no eyebrows, in my PJ’s. I swear to god that is literally the reason I am slowly backing away from society. Either that or my mental health 🙂

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There are also so many people my age getting pregnant, and I am not judging like, I think teen parents are totally fine and I am not judging you, but like, I don’t even talk to any guys. The only guy I have talked to pretty much ruined men for me but you are here literally starting a family! Let me catch up mate, I’m still recovering from the last one. It is so creepy though. Every time I hear someone my age got married, the boyfriend (or husband I supposed 😐 ) literally is 20+ and I am sitting here like, luv you are a victim, the fuck. That literal pedo man could be your father babes and it’s not ok. And you can comment all you want “age is just a number” and “they are in love” but then one week later they will be popping up on their story saying “nrs only real ones know” and in reality, everyone fucking knows because they video their life as though they are the kardashians. We literally don’t care OK! So if you are getting married, good luck to you, but I don’t really want some chav from down the road having my kids

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Seriously though, where is this coming from. Is it in the vaccine or something, because it has just all happened at once. Babies and wedding rings bloody flying everywhere. I swear that I am the only girl alive that isn’t talking to another guy, or anyone to be honest lol. I think if someone where to go up to me and propose while I literally am not even at the legal age to drive, I would be sprinting away. You’ll see me on the news, fucking Forrest Gump up in this bitch.

Is it becoming a trend or something? That would make so much more sense to be honest, and would make me feel less lonely. It is literally one of those things that makes you feel sad not to be a part of, but then when it happens to you, you feel like throwing up. Kind of like in cheesy movies when the guy looks over at the girl in class and they are proper in love, but then if that happened to me I’d be getting my pepper spray out. Would defo give me the ick like. Wait! Oh my god, what if you literally loved someone with all your heart but then when they went down on one knee you got the ick! What would you even do! That would defo be me though, no lie. That’s scary. But hopefully I won’t have to figure that our for a while. I’m gonna take it slow you know. I still need to learn how to talk to guys without jumbling up my words like bloody scrabble. So yeah, I have quite a ways to go. Could I ask though, to any of you out there who are like teenagers and are married? What did your parents say, because I would be on the streets. And like, do you actually love them or do you just feel bad for them lol 😮 But I mean, if you actually have found the love of your life, I respect that and wish you all the happiness in the world. Damn I am lonely.

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Thank you so much for reading this. Was kinda just a wee bit of food for thought you know because I have been seeing so many people doing massive things. If you enjoyed this, please like, follow and comment down below. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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The Maybe Story

Today I wanted to share a story with you guys that I heard a while back. It is a random story but yet it has a big meaning behind it. So grab a cuppa tea and enjoy.

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There was this old Chinese farmer who spent all of his days working on his crops, until one day his horse ran away. When the word got around, his neighbors would come over saying “that is so bad”, “that is so unlucky” and “we are so sorry”. And he would look at them, shrug and then say “maybe”. A few days later, he woke up to see his horse had come back and had brought more wild horses with it. Again, the neighbors found out and came running over to his farm shouting “this is so great”, “how lucky” and “you must be so happy”. And again, the farmer shrugged and said “maybe”. The next day, his son was riding one of the horses around the field, when it started leaping up and threw his son, breaking his leg. Just like clockwork, the neighbors came with sorry faces crying “this is awful”, “how unlucky” and “you must be sad”. Once again, he shrugged and said “maybe”. The next day the soldiers came around to each and every house, taking ever able young man to fight in the war. When they got to the farm, they took one look at the son and thought “he has a broken leg. He will be no good for us” and they drove off. Now all the neighbors came over. They were talking about how their sons were taken away and were rambling on about how lucky and happy he must be.

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You see, that whole time, his neighbors thought he was absolutely crazy because no matter what happened to him, he always reacted with “maybe”. He never assumed anything of a situation. And all the time, things changed, something bad came from the good, but something good happened from the bad. So instead of overthinking the negatives, and crying over everything, he saw it as fate, as though it needed to happen. Why I think this story is so great is because it shows that we can’t look at every situation in black and white. Every situation isn’t just good or bad. But if we do look at it in this way, life is going to get really tough because we don’t realise that things happen for a reason, and that maybe something like breaking your leg, will make such a difference on your future. So instead of feeling sorry for yourself, be like the farmer. We have no clue what is to come next or what it will do to our future, so we need to fix how we view situations. You could focus on the negatives, or you could look for the positives. Just don’ believe that your life sucks, because something great is just around the corner and we gotta wait for it. I believe everything happens for a reason, and if you are going through really tough shit right now, something great will come from it. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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I Want You All To Know…

There is something that I wanted to talk about that we all know of already, just maybe we don’t all recognise it. I want to bring it to your attention because I think it is really important to understand and be aware of.

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Lately, life has been like walking through concrete, and it is like that for a lot of us. Every step is so exhausting and sometimes you feel like you should just stop trying and let yourself get trapped in it. This whole year we have been told continuously that “everyone is going through the same thing. We aren’t alone and we know exactly how you feel”. I have to admit, I have said this a lot too and sometimes, although people say it in a supportive and positive way, it doesn’t always help. “we know exactly how you feel”. Let’s talk about that for a second. This pandemic has affected the whole world, yes. The impact of it has affected every single one of us, I know that. But nobody knows exactly how you feel. I am sure that if someone actually knew ‘exactly’ how you felt, they wouldn’t just be doing a year assembly or a one minute motivational talk before they go off teaching you about animal cells. I know that if someone where to know ‘exactly’ how you feel, they would be be doing a lot more than they are right now.

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So why did I even say that? To make you feel lonely? To make you feel weird? No. I said it because sometimes whenever we think some crazy stuff that can seem scary, and someone says it is normal, we begin to play it off and think that it is this bad for everyone. Then you might begin to feel weak because you can’t handle all the things that supposedly everyone goes through. But that isn’t true. Yes we have all been through the pandemic, but we haven’t all been through the same thoughts and trials. Not one of us have had the same emotions and same feelings and thoughts as you and I don’t think we ever will. And I want you to know that if you are struggling, then it doesn’t matter if it is normal or not because you deserve help. Even if it was normal, everyone would need help. But the truth is, the things you are going through are not normal. But that is ok, as long as you talk about it with someone. Try to figure it out with someone. People just say the whole “we know how you feel” thing as a way to show they are here for you. They don’t know a damn thing about what you are going through so don’t let what they say get to you.

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You can also see it in another way. Nobody has any clue what anyone is going through. So while you might think that you are the only one having a really difficult time, one of the loud guys at the back of the class could be depressed or have troubles of your own. The school bully could be having family problems. I mean it doesn’t excuse what they do but they life probably isn’t perfect either. This can be a bit confusing for people as well because then they think that if everyone is going through something, it is fine to struggle, but that isn’t true. It just means that more people need help. We can’t compare ourselves to others, especially when it come to mental health because we have no way of knowing how they feel and what they are going through. It is literally impossible to do that.

So I guess, to wrap up this weeks weekly reminder, just know that you don’t have to stay quiet because “everyone feels this way” because that is completely false. But also to know that you aren’t a weirdo for feeling how you feel. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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The Most Annoying Thing In The World

For this post I am excluding all the annoying people, which is quite a lot, and just focusing on one thing. But I promise you that basically everyone reading this right now will understand. This thing can make or break your day. You either like it or despise it and in my experience, there is no in between and it can switch up so fast. What is this thing you may ask? Hair. Fucking hair. I know you all just nodded your head like “yup, this bitch is true” and if you think otherwise, let me educate you.

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I obviously can’t speak for everyone on this, but I am a girl with relatively long hair and a lifetime experience of hair failures. I would say there has been thousands of close calls where I was nearly going to just chop it off. That is how far it gets. And then there are people like Billie Eilish who come out looking like a goddess just like “hey” and we are all just in awe. How perfect. How beautiful! And then I am there looking at her photo while my hair looks like a birds nest that was attacked by a fox. It just isn’t fair. I’m just going to say that it’s because I’m broke compared to her. For me as well, if one hair is out of place, my whole day is ruined and it literally gives me so much anger because I can’t fix it and then I keep focusing on I and trying to make it work but in the process I make it so much worse.

You have to admit though, that the worst days are usually always bad hair days. I actually physically cannot wear my school scarf, no matter how freezing it is, because it makes my hair uncontrollable and uncomfortable. Fucking Mr Frost could be breathing down my neck and I would refuse to use it. That is how aggravating it is. It just makes everything so bad and although it is such a comfy scarf, it makes me so bloody angry and so you will either see me warm and grumpy, or frozen and… less grumpy. This is the same with my school hoodie that we also wear pretty much all year round because it is 1 degree below cold as fuck at all times. The hood is literally the bane of my existence and every other person with long hair will back me on this because it is so true. I have no clue what it is but it literally makes me so uncomfortable and no matter what I do with it, it doesn’t work. Even if I have my hair tied up in a ponytail, it would be annoying. Even if it was in plaits, it would be annoying. EVEN if you were having the best hair day of your entire life, guess what, it would be annoying. It is unfixable, not even the nurses wet paper towel can fix this.

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Does anyone else cry over there hair? If not, I am going to cancel my existence. But if you do, please comment down below because I feel like a crazy person. I have a heart of stone and don’t cry at many things (apart from my life that crumbles before my eyes and I have to watch as everything I love disappears and I become unstable), but this is the exception. I am going all out, on the floor, tears trippin’ me, screams, crying. It is so annoying and there is nobody that can fix it. And all I want to do is jump into bed and die, but sometimes my hair is annoying on the pillow too and I legit just look at it like “why the fuck are you following me you slimy, cling bitch! You ruin me”. Then I get a shower, if possible, and I feel as though I have destroyed the beast. Until I have to make the choice. Air dry, or blow dry. You see, air drying is good for your hair. No heat damage, you don’t have to sit holding the hairdryer for ages. But the next morning your hair is actually unbrushable and even if you can brush it, it explodes into a million different dimensions and you don’t know where to start. And with blow drying, you get it done and over with quickly, put a wee bit of heat protectant spray on, bish bash bosh your good to go. But my lanky arms can not be coping with it. It takes so long to do it and you have this constant racket blasting in your ear and you start to literally sweat because it is so warm and you wish you never even had the shower. And sometimes that can go all tatty too. So there really is no way around it. I usually just go for the wee, air dry in 2 plaits type of thing because it doesn’t get tangled, it is cute and easy if you know how to do it. It is a bit of an arm workout too, but like it’s ok. Then later on you take them out and your hair is curly. But whatever you do, never EVER brush your hair after you had them in plaits. I warned you.

Moral of the story is, if you see me or anyone else having a bad hair day, stay the fuck away because you will either get trapped in our hair for the rest of your life, or you will get the beating of your life. And there is no in-between bitch. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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What Do Our Dreams Say About Us?

If you thought this was gonna be some informational shit then you are gonna be disappointed, because I am just as confused as you. Literally I wake up and the first thing I say is “what the fuck”. That could be for 2 reasons, one being the dream and the other being the fact my body had the audacity to live another day. But today we are talking about reason one. And then I always hear people saying that our dreams say things about us and here I am searching up “what does a dream about a dinosaur flying in mars with King Kong say about me?”. Please tell me I am not the only one because I never really have normal dreams. I also find that if I do have normal dreams, they are really boring ones. Like one of them could be me doing an exam but then the invigilators are elves or something.

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I also wanted to ask, am I the only person who has never lucid dreamed before because my friends are all talking about how they were like aware they were dreaming and then went on to do so many things, but I must be dumb as fuck because no matter how weird the situation is, I just vibe and it doesn’t click with me until later on when I am like “elves aren’t even real”. I don’ know, am I just weird. I would be scared though if I lucid dreamed because can’t things go wrong like they try to kill you or something. That sounds like such a joke but I swear I heard that before. I would also be so fucking boring. I could be talking to a unicorn or something and then be like “wait this is a dream!” and then it would just be me and him looking at each other doing that awkward smile and looking around really awkwardly and then I would just go for a walk or something. It would be embarrassing though if you were like OMG I am gonna try and fly, and then all you do is jump and you can’t get anywhere, then it is just you and the unicorn staring at each other like what the fuck now. Not me literally getting embarrassed by something that hasn’t even happened and it would have been in my dream anyways. Why am I talking about this, this is completely off topic, anyways, let’s get into it.

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How is it that our brains are like “i am depressed” and then it is like, if I make the dream about a lion walking in space, that will surely let them know they need help. The fuck? I be needing a bloody English teacher to analyse each atom of my dream just to know what it’s about. How can that literally link up. And then there are dreams that I get that are so complex and so weird that I actually have no fucking clue where to start. Like the other day I had one about me in school doing a project and then somehow I got into a huge shouting argument with my ex and I was left in tears. Then I was packing up and I was the only one there and when I walked outside I had actually been in my house so now I was in my street walking down the road like I was the main character in a breakup movie. Then my teacher came driving down signing some type of song and these guys from my class where knocking on people’s doors and just talking to random people and then out of one door, the same teacher that had been singing just shouted “RIOT” for no reason and I woke up. I also think that in this dream, or it was another one, I don’t remember, there was this whole scandal where the teacher was like “if you pass the test I will tell you who I kissed” and then it turned out she had kissed her fucking cousin or something. That was really weird to be honest and if you are some sort of dream person, am I completely messed up? Because that would explain a lot actually.

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Dreams are weird though, aren’t they. Our brain just makes up images based off our thoughts and emotions we may not even realise. And they are smart as fuck. Our brain can remember every single person we lay eyes on even if it was for a split second. Like where does that energy go when I need to revise because right now I don’t give a fuck what that old man looked like! I need to learn fucking Pythagoras theorem. But I guess that is useless as well lol. Although, our brain also can’t remember the dream we just had a split second ago. I could wake up like “this is was the best dream, everyone needs to hear it” but then it is just gone. My whole memory of it just literally scuttles away and I am like what the actual fuck. Why does it do that? Are we just no meant to remember? What sci-fi, government, alien type shit is this because I really wanted to remember it. Another thing that confuses me is when people say that “you always dream, unless you are dead”. But I swear there are nights I didn’t dream. Did I die? Was that fact fake? Did I just forget it? I need answers people! I also need to know why we dream. Why is that just a normal function that happens because soon enough I am just gonna start believing the movie “inside out” soon. How are we able to project images in our head and be present during them despite the fact we are asleep, and then there are times that we sleep walk and sleep talk. I have actually sleep-talked a lot and I recorded it a few times. It is safe to say I did not release any secrets. Well unless “wellgosjflasnlgnllkjlj” means something to you.

Anyways, I think I will leave it here for today because I am not up for an existential crisis today. Maybe later though. I also wanted to say that I am probably going to start a podcast soon for this blog because I generally don’t know how to word things in a way that makes sense on the computer. Basically it will be me reading these posts but adding in extra topics that jump into my head. I will try to keep them shorter but I usually do ramble on about the weirdest things, so look out for that I guess. Anyways, if you are excited for that, make sure you leave a like, comment and follow so that you know when I upload my first one. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself.


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What I Wish My Teachers Knew

In the many years of my school life, there are a lot of things I have realised, such as the quiet kids are forgotten and the loud, rude ones are adored. And there are many more, so I want to address some as if I had to tell a teacher what I think. If you are a teacher and you learn from this then you are as good as a teacher who already does these things already. Just because you hadn’t done these before, doesn’t mean you are a bad teacher because if you changed some things then it shows that you actually do care and I respect that so much.

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I wish that teachers started to talk more to their quiet students because I am one of them and, although it sounds a bit attention seeking, we have things that we are worried about and need help with, but we are too afraid to ask because that comes with so many repercussions, like drawing attention to ourselves and getting judged or shouted at by the other loud ones. I do understand that a lot of you do try but then because we are a bit awkward and quiet, you don’t really talk to them anymore. And I understand how that must be so awkward for you, but if you talked to us more than just the one time, you would see that we are actually nice people with a lot of things to say, we just don’t have the voice or confidence to say it. I know that for me, it means so much for a teacher to just say hello or just appreciate that we are there because a majority of the time, we get drowned out by the other people who act like complete idiots and are being so disrespectful to you. I just wish that teachers got to know all of their students and understand how they are feeling and what they are getting stuck on because it can be really tiring sometimes when you feel like you aren’t getting heard because despite the fact we stay quiet, we actually have an opinion. And to add to that, make sure that you don’t let the quiet people get bullied especially in your class because it is so obvious sometimes but teachers usually just laugh at them like “boys will be boys”. Showing that you care makes a big difference in our life.

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This is such a big one and since somebody mentioned this to me, I have always thought about this whenever meeting a new teacher. Are you a human before a teacher, or a teacher before a human. Now I am not accusing teacher’s of being literal lizards or something, but what I mean by this is, do you empathize with your students and understand that we make mistakes or forget things at times. And maybe you remember that nobody is good at everything so if we are struggling, actually understand and help instead of rolling your eyes like we are a burden. Here is a quick test to see whether you are a human or a teacher first.

  • When someone forgets their books do you a) shout at them and give some form of punishment or b) say that is ok and to try and remember next time
  • When someone forgets their homework do you a) shout at them and give a detention or b) tell them that is ok and to try and hand it in as soon as they can
  • When someone stops doing well in class do you a) embarrass them and make them seem lazy and a failure or b) after class ask them about what is going on in their life they need help with or just anything in class they need help with
  • When someone is late to your class do you a) tell them to stay after class and interrogate them for why they are late and tell them to never do it again or b) welcome them in warmly and if it happens multiple times ask them how everything is.
  • When someone doesn’t participate in class do you a) put them on the spot or point out their quietness or b) ask them if they are ok or just don’t understand anything
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I could go on all day asking you questions like these, but I think we have enough. If you answered mostly a) then you are a teacher before a human. If you answered mostly b) then you are a human before the teacher and I applaud you. When you are a human before a teacher, you are caring and understand students abilities and emotions and you actually care about their wellness and future. But if you are a teacher before a human, you are teaching them that mistakes are wrong and they are going to be useless. You teach them how to live in a military society and make them feel unwelcome and as though they are stupid. So please just know that we are just kids and teens who literally have no fucking clue what is going on or who we are. We have so many things to think about outside of school and just because we don’t do everything perfectly, doesn’t mean we are rude or disrespectful, we just need a bit of time to collect ourselves.

This happened to me just the other day where I was walking down the corridor and this teacher, who had clearly seen me, was walking past. This was an empty corridor, just me and her, and I went as close to the side as I could to be polite because, respect your elders and all that. But she literally barged into me and didn’t move as though I was the problem. Just because you have been on this earth for longer than me, doesn’t mean you can disrespect us. Respect goes both ways, so if you are getting talked over by students or generally not listened to, you probably just need to show us the respect we deserve. Don’t get me wrong, the younger years are bloody annoying so it is ok to put them in their place, but for the older years, we are nearly adults and at this point we are sick of your shit. We aren’t all bloody chavs and literal idiots and we do respect you, but only if you give us the same back. I just find it rude that they think everything they do is right and we are just invisible because we don’t want to be here any more than you do. You chose to be here. You get paid to be here. And all we get is a busy schedule and mental health problems.

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The last point that I wanted to mention today was that we actually appreciate some motivational talks, but it just depends on what type of one it is. Now, if you give us the same bullshit as everyone else, like on the first day back when you give us a talk about how we are gonna do so well and that we are going to make this year so great… save your breathe because we have heard that 10 times in one day already. There are some teachers that genuinely are so nice with what they say and you can tell in their voice and the way they look that they do actually mean what they are saying and actually care. These talks are the best, and when said at the right times, can make our day. My English teacher did one today and it did make my day a bit better. It was still a shit day, but not as bad as it could have been. But listen close to this. If you are ever going to make a motivational speech, no matter when you say it, don’t ever diminish what we are going through. This isn’t even just because of corona. This is every time of the year, in any decade, in any month, never make our situation look easier than it seems. I don’t mean that you should just say “your life is shit, school is shit and it will never get better” because we need to know that someone actually has hope. What I mean is that you shouldn’t be like “but if you think about it, you are actually really lucky and your better off than other years because blah blah blah blah blah”. Turn that shit off because I don’t wanna hear it. This happened not long ago from another teacher and I was just looking at her as if she just was mental because who the fuck is she to tell us how we should feel. She literally could have said something like “keep your head up because I am going to get you guys through this and you will do great” but instead you really had to assume what we think and feel. I do not feel luckier than any other years and I most certainly don’t think I got it easier because this has fucking sucked so much and having you put words into our mouths is making this situation feel so much worse. You make us feel isolated or dramatic because we think nobody else feels this way. Try not to be too uplifting with things and think before you speak I guess.

If you are a teacher and you have made it this far, you are a real one. I know that you care and aren’t offended by what I said because it is the truth and you want to help improve your students lives. I really appreciate it if you are one of those teachers because you are going to change someone life. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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Bucket Lists… What The Fuck

You have to admit, there are a lot of weird things that we have made as a society and this is kinda just funny to me. I don’t know why though, but like the concept of a bucket list is so weird. We literally plan out a step-by-step guide to what we are going do before we die, but we rarely even finish it. And the name too! I just realised not that long ago that it is called a bucket list because it is a list of things you want to do before you kick the bucket. That is funny to me for some reason. We just normalise it, like “hey, what do you plan to do before your heart starts beating and you fall into the unknown?” Hmm, let me think Jessica. And then we literally have the audacity to put the most meaningless things in it like ‘eat a boojum burrito’ bitch people do that every day, I mean it isn’t that hard. Or they would say ‘get rid of all of my toxic friends’. You should be doing that anyways Britney! Like you aren’t that special.


It also seems quite creepy whenever people tick things off the list and then you are just thinking “ah, one step closer to being able to die happily” like the fuck! What are you gonna do when you finish the list? It isn’t a bloody scavenger hunt. It isn’t like a game where you win after completing all your tasks. And besides, if you have it all done by the time you are 30, 40 or 50, you still have at least half of your life left so what are you going to do? Just sit on the sofa with a deranged smile on your face thinking “I am completely depressed with fuck all going on in my life, but hey, I finished my bucket list lol”. I think I would prefer to be spontaneous and live life as it comes and do things when I get the chance. Why would you see a sign for something and be like “yes, let me add that to my bucket list even though there is a 100% chance I will never actually do it because it is just a fucking piece of paper”. Go and do it! You have the option to do it now! And I know that is a bit hypocritical from what I had just said about doing everything quickly, but it means that you don’t have to stick to a plan, you can just go and look back later and think “damn I really did that much”.

I don’t know if it’s just me, but I want to be able to have a life that people would want to have on their bucket list… if that even makes any sense. But you get what I mean. We all make our lives so structured and so laid out that we miss out on all the opportunities we could of had, just to achieve goals that we don’t always meet. What if, instead of a bucket list, we had a bucket diary where we write down everything exciting that we have done because then you can look back at your relaxed, eventful life and see the things that you hadn’t even planned to do but loved. We can’t live our lives like levels of a game, we gotta make it into a book. The most exciting thing that anyone has ever read. That way you can live your life as though it will be a best selling book instead of waste of paper.


Sayings Are Saying Things That Saying Would Be Too Boring To Say

Lol, sorry that title literally gave you a seizure but I thought it would be funny for some reason lol. So yeah, all over the world there are sayings. Things that imply something else. But during my hourly existential crisis, I started thinking about talking and then about what we say and how fucking weird it sounds. Just here me out…

Kick The Bucket

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I have no fucking clue if this is some roman goddess Egyptian thing, but like this makes absolutely no sense. It sounds like an actual joke. My theory is that long long ago, a mum just got back from getting some water and she was tired. Then her kids went out to play and then Jim ran back in and was like “Mum. John kicked the bucket over” and then John’s mum just demolished him, then Jim told the story to all his mates and it became a thing. I mean I don’t know, maybe I’m wrong, but have you got a better explanation?! Yeah, that’s what I thought. Maybe it was made by an English teacher and “the bucket” actually symbolizes the normality of life and how, when someone “kicks” it, they are kicking their life away. So the bucket is actually the answer to the universe. Tell me I’m wrong bitch. That was accurate as fuck.

Dark Horse

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This one is so confusing and literally keeps me up at night. How the hell does a “dark horse” mean that someone surprised you? They defo got traumatized from the scary horses at the end of “a Christmas carol” because that is the only thing I can think of. Every time I think of it, though, I just think of a mum watching her kid on sports day and then her kid is like wining and she whispers to her friend Karen “well, Jim’s quite the dark horse” and then she looks back and is like “where the fuck is Jim” and he has turned into a horse. *me watching my followers go down* That was definitely a bit weird, soz about that.

Piece Of Cake

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“That was a piece of cake” WHERE! Did I just miss it? Where did the cake go? Make it make sense. I mean how is a piece of cake easy. You can’t call someone that! lol. But yeah, does it just mean that it was easy to cut into a cake because it is so soft or what because I say that a lot but like if it does mean that, I could literally just say “that was a piece of toast” or “that was a piece of avocado”. You get me? It’s just a bit weird ya know.

Let The Cat Out Of The Bag

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Do I need to call bloody RSPCA or something because I am kinda scared. I mean are you the crazy cat lady from the Simpsons? And I do know that it means letting out a secret or something like that but where does it come from. WAIT… was it from when they believed in witches and witches were said to have cats so then when they found they had a cat the “truth” would be out and they would be literally toasted like a Marshmallow. Wow, I defo just found the real answer.

On Cloud Nine

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I actually think that this is just me because I swear people talk about cloud 9 or something. Isn’t that the movie with Dove Cameron in it. But I do think that only I don’t understand this one and I am genuinely confused. I mean I guess I understand saying you are in the clouds because your so happy, but where did the 9 come in? I thought 7 8 9?

Happy As Larry

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Who the fuck is Larry? And why is he so happy? I mean… who is even called Larry? Such a random name I guess. Why couldn’t it be “Jolly as Holly” although if someone said they were jolly as Holly, I would genuinely punch them. No joke, so yeah.

Anyways, I get confused about so many things and this is me just giving that confusion to you, so your welcome. There are so many others out there too and I think I need to accept that I will never understand these. And if I were to ask my teacher, I don’t think I would ever be free again. Although, I really did uncover the truth about the “let the cat outta the bag” thing so your welcome. But yeah, please like, comment and follow for more content like this. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.


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I Need Your Help

Hi, if you don’t know me, I am a straight white teenage girl with no disabilities and just a mental health problem. What does that mean? That means that the only discrimination I have faced is being a woman. Now, there has been problems with sexism at the moment, but over all I have got it pretty easy. But I want to use that to help others too. And the only way I really know how to do that would be to use this platform to get people to listen.

That is where my next problem comes into play. How am I supposed to help when I know very little about what you guys go through and what YOU want me to do. Because I could write a whole essay about equality, but it would do fuck all because I don’t know what you guys really want us to do. So please, no matter what it is that you go through, whether it is a disability, race, sexuality, anything, can you please comment below something that you guys want us, the people who are can use your privilege to help, to do in order to help you guys or just be aware of certain things. You can leave a story about a time where you were discriminated against and say what you would have wanted someone to do to help, or just state anything. If you are comfortable of course.

I’m going to admit, I know very little about what others go through but I want that to change. I mean I am a sympathetic person but I also feel stuck on what to do and sometimes I can be a bit ignorant. On TikTok there was this guy with a stutter and was talking about how saying “did I stutter” was insulting. And I had said these before and didn’t think anything from it. So please educate me and everyone else on the internet because although we will never know what you go through and how you feel, I want to be able to do the most I can to make you feel safer or more included in the world.

So I am sorry if I sound like your basic bitch trying to get clout or something. This is not a trend, this is a real life problem and I would appreciate it so much if you guys could help spread awareness. But yeah, that is pretty much it. Just know that you are perfect just the way you are. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


Things With The Same Vibe

A lot of you are gonna think I am crazy, but then you will realise that I am a genius because it will make so much sense. So just hear me out. Some of these will be obvious, but then others will leave you absolutely gobsmacked.

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Female=cat Male=dog

I just wanted to say that I am sorry if this offends anyone. I know there are more genders, but I am only talking about these two at the moment because this is what I think of.

I am not really sure if this is a given to be honest, but it makes sense. Whenever we see a dog we instantly think “what a good boy” and when we see a cat we think it is a girl. If I am being stereotypical, it might be because cats are more poised… sometimes. And they just seem very pretty if you know what I mean, they don’t give a fuck and just vibe. Cats also seem quite smart too. They can’t really do any tricks or anything, but compared to my dog, they are Einstein. They will also throw hands with anyone which is quite iconic. And now to the dogs. I know this is stereotypical again, but like still. Dogs are literally so crazy.