The Raging 20’s, Is It an Inevitable Disaster?

I’m sorry, but between my last post and this one, we have literally gone through a war. That’s not even a joke sadly enough. Corona is kinda fading away (except the Queen has joined the Corona Club) but then we gotta keep the drama alive so we start into world war 3! Sounds like a fucking high school drama where someones always gotta go through some sort of shit. Honestly though what the fucking is going on? Just as we didn’t need to wear one type of face mask, we gonna start to need a whole other one. At this point, I’m ready for it. Do your worst I guess… ok I take that back but honestly, I’m not even phased. But let’s do a wee catch up for all the people who have tried to stay off the News. So, sorry, but it isn’t good news.

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London Bridge is Falling Down

I heard that this is what they are supposed to say when the queen dies as their secret word or something (even though it obviously isn’t so secret at the moment) but before you panic I swear she isn’t dead or I haven’t heard so yet, but I just mean the queen is literally on her last leg. Fair play though because she’s probably sick of this shit. She’s probably like “war? Not this shit again” like honestly she has seen a lot of stuff I’ll tell you that for sure.

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She literally had to use like a walking stick or something that probably cost as much as money as it would to end hunger in Africa. And obviously walking stick doesn’t equal literal death but I mean I wouldn’t be surprised honestly. And here she is with literal ‘rona. Whose head is about to be cut off though? That’s what I wanna know. I mean I’m sure she’s not out in the town on a Saturday night so someone had to bring it to her.

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‘Rona’s Running Away

I don’t want to jinx it but I think we are coming out the other side! Like rona is kinda irrelevant now and I love that for us. Sure I still wear a face mask but honestly it doesn’t even bother me at this point. If anything I feel weird not having it because if I don’t then I feel like I’m missing something. That and I also feel like I don’t know what to do with my face anymore. Like kinda when you don’t know where to put your hands.

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Actually though I heard from my sister that her friends friend was wearing a mask on the day that masks weren’t mandatory and this woman dead ass went up to her and was like “why are you wearing a mask! You don’t need to wear one!” bitch get the fuck outta my face though for real. Literally how weird. I mean if someone said that to me I don’t really know what I would do? Like maybe mind your own fucking business. If anything I’m glad to wear my mask so I can’t smell the shit coming out of your mouth. How funny is that though lol

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Rona is definitely fading though and we can all start to remenise on what the hell actually happened. Literally though we just walked around as if this shit was normal but it isn’t. There was legit a shortage of toilet paper! What?! Literally mental. Can’t wait to dramatize it to my grandkids

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Novak Djokobitch

The whole drama with Djokovic was actually a wee while ago but honestly I’m still kinda pissed for real. Like what is this idiocracy?! I mean you think you know someone then they turn out to be an idiot. Like these scientists work their asses off to fight this literal PANDEMIC and you sit there like “nah I don’t trust it though”! I’m not tryna be rude but you play fucking tennis for a living. I’m pretty sure they know what they are doing. Unless you have been living under a rock, I think it is quite obvious why we need the vaccine.

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So yeah, all in all he didn’t get to play in his tennis match and I think he is kinda shunned from Australia or wherever he was when it happened. For real though you think a public figure would have a bit of sense to do the right thing. If it was more actual medical reasons that would be another story. Maybe it’s some sort of chemical imbalance in his head?

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Coming Soon: World War III

Sorry but why is this becoming a series? like honestly where is the need. I know that you will all have heard about Russia invading the Ukraine and now the rest of the world is like “shit” because they probably need to get involved now. Honestly this is is a serious situation and if I try to make it sound any less serious than it is then I want you to know that it’s because I try to make jokes when I’m uncomfortable or actually feeling stuff, but I really do appreciate the danger of what is happening at the moment and I’m sorry if you are affected by it at the moment and hope it will all end soon.

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Anyways, yeah, we’ve kinda jumped from one danger to the next honestly. Putin had too much time to think (or not think) in lockdown and that’s no lie. Like I really don’t get why wars happen. Obviously it’s a bit more difficult for literally countries to “talk it out” but like I’m pretty sure it doesn’t have to lead to the end of the world. And the fact the russian guy actually came out and said something like “if you try to stop me I will do something that you have never seen in history before”. Just what?! You’ve got me flipping though my history books tryna figure out what the fucking you gonna do but surely it can’t be a nuclear war? But nah that is what he means.

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So you are telling me you got a secret bunker that will let you survive a nuclear bomb? But at what cost though? So you have control of the whole world which is literally just a few microorganisms? Like if you gonna whipe us all out at least tell me what you plan to do. Don’t villains usually have a whole monologue before they kill the person?

There have been a lot of “scares” about a world war 3 in the past years but that’s been from the most insignificant shit like Bo Jo’s hair was actually shaped like a w for 3 seconds or some English GCSE type crap.

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But as a woman, I’m not sure if I should run to the battle field or to the kitchen. Like… it’s a conflict of interest honestly. I mean I’m willing to vote and do that stuff I am grateful for, but I’m not sure if they will appreciate my mental quirks on the battle field honestly. And legally I’m American but that doesn’t mean I want to use a gun you know?

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Summary

I’m not sure if this type of shit happens every 100 years, but we gotta look at the facts honestly because they went through a whole ton of shit during the roaring 20’s. I wonder what they will call us? Maybe nothing because we’ll all be literally deceased. Who knows? So just to summarise, for all those who kinda just want to skip to the end… it’s every man to themselves at this point and may the odds be ever in your favour. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Have You Amber Heard About This?

It comes as no shock that there is currently a trial between Johnny Depp and Amber Heard. Just to clear things up, Amber Heard is an actor… mostly. But for real I have never seen or heard of her ever before. I’m pretty sure Johnny said she was on Aquaman or something. All you need… Continue Reading →

My Life Is an Unsuccessful Netflix Show

I don’t know what to call this feeling, but you know when you get a sudden realisation that this is in fact real life. Like you aren’t gonna start into a new season or a new episode of a show. You are just gonna start the next day with the same problems, the same things… Continue Reading →

I’m OK With Following The Crowd Right Now

I don’t know if this is the social anxiety coming out of me right now but like for real I just let others decide who I am for real. Like it’s not that I’m fake, I’m just moldable? That sounds weird as fuck but like I will change my personality to suit the person I’m… Continue Reading →

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2 COVID Tests and a Christmas in Quarantine

12 days ’til Christmas and my true love gave to me, a big fucking mess. I mean what the actual hell. Here I am with a bit of a sore head and a stuffy nose and then I take a wee lateral flow test before I go out to Ju-Jitsu but then the 2nd line pops up faster than Borris Johnson can answer a simple question. And I just looked at it like “oh shit” (the test that is, not Borris) and I was praying that it would just be the one line at the T so that means that it was just a faulty test so I waited and eventually the line came up next to the C and then I really panicked. I have never seen the T line come up so much quicker than the C line. What a fucking joke because I was second guess what I was actually looking at. But no that bitch was setting up camp and was not gonna leave any time soon. So I took another one and the exact same thing happened. The lines were not playing today.

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The covid must have been bouncing off the fucking walls because it came up positive so fast. I was kind of planning to get positive school results but the fucking coronavirus… that’s just unnecessary. And to be honest I had never really been nervous about it before but when I got the positive result I was so scared. Not for me to be honest like I’ll get over it but just for literally ruining Christmas. I will get out of quarantine before then but we just had so many plans with family and stuff and now I am making everyone miss it. How crap is that?! If it was any other time of year, apart from summer, it would be fine but of course, it never is.

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I do sound like an ungrateful bitch because this is probably not even half as bad as it could be and I do realise that I am very lucky but I’m the first in the family that we know of so it’s just a bit scary you know and I feel bad too. I thought that being the unsocial human being I am that I would be fine, but no. So like where the fuck did I get it from? I don’t even know. I only went to school and I went babysitting for one day but the kid was asleep so I wasn’t near him and his mum was away/not near me when I was at their house. I was also at my close friend’s house on Sunday but they are all negative and I’m guessing I had it then, but like that’s lucky if none of them gets it. Here is me literally like “hOw DiD I GeT cOvId? I dIdN’t EvEn Go OuT” but then continues to list the busiest week I have had this year. That is sad for me to admit but that just shows I was never really out and about with people before.

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I have just gotten a PCR test this morning so these will have the official results and hopefully will tell me what strand it is. I don’t know why I’m so dumb, but I’m still thinking there is a chance it comes back negative. THANK FUCK if it is but literally I took 2 lateral flows and they both came back positive within seconds. I just don’t want it anymore. I want to go back for the last week of school!! I mean put me on camera and call me annaxsitar because I don’t want it.

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So yeah, I don’t really know what to do anymore and I guess I’ll keep you updated on the results but it just feels so weird how I am gonna be part of the statistics now. I have never got it or been friends with someone who got it before so it’s really different and I just wish this was just a really bad dream and that I would wake up and be like “thank fuck” because I just regret everything. I don’t even know what to regret though because I don’t know where I got it. So I guess make sure that you take regular tests and be safe. I mean I’ll be fine but just think about the others who aren’t gonna be as lucky if they get it.

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I hope you enjoy this post and please do comment below if you or anyone you know has/had covid because I’m sure there are a lot but I’m not really sure what to do at the moment. I’m lucky that I’m young and healthy so please don’t think I am being ungrateful and attention-seeking, it’s just a bit confusing at the moment but thank you so much for taking the time to read this. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Kitchen or War | The Women’s Crossroad

Please let me tell you that I am in fact a girl! I am not some man that is about to start slabbering about how women are supposed to make everyone a fucking sandwich and look after their kids while the man is at war. I also want to say that this is light-hearted and… Continue Reading →

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The Raging 20’s, Is It an Inevitable Disaster?

I’m sorry, but between my last post and this one, we have literally gone through a war. That’s not even a joke sadly enough. Corona is kinda fading away (except the Queen has joined the Corona Club) but then we gotta keep the drama alive so we start into world war 3! Sounds like a… Continue Reading →

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My Honest Interview Answers

Hi guys, so as some of you will already know, I have my first ever interview tomorrow. And I am shitting it to say the least. It has caused me to have many a breakdown and freaking out about what I should say about the generic questions and whether or not I would end up completely fucking it up because I accidentally tell the truth. I mean you do kinda have to make white lies in an interview or to slightly bend the truth, but to get all the thoughts about saying something wrong our of my head, I am gonna spill them here and if the interview guy is reading this, it is all a joke :/

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Tell me about yourself

I’m a chronically awkward bitch who likes to people please and in the event of a customer or staff members slight change in tone, I will have a breakdown. But that doesn’t mean I won’t throw hands if a Karen act’s up. I can remember stuff kind of well but if there is a silence for even 1 millisecond, my face will light up bright red. I can get overwhelmed but that isn’t knew to me. I have a twin and an older sister, one of which I am pretty sure has anger issues and the other is alright I guess but I am always the peace maker between them and that means I have to sit in the middle of the car. I would count that as one of my trauma’s. I can either be very energetic, or I won’t be able to move a muscle. If you hire me, I may or may not be the most awkward person you will meet until you get to know me. Then you will realise I am a ‘unique’ person.

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Why do you want this job?

I don’t. To tell you the truth like. I mean I will get paid though won’t I? That is literally the only reason I am here right now but even if I get hired, I might just leave because I think everyone hates me. I guess I also want tips, as in cash, not like training or anything like that. Although if you have any tips on how to enjoy life, that would be great. I also kinda need this job because it is the socially acceptable age to get a job like this and if I don’t get one I will be broke and also judged, so not too different from now, but like I want to keep it at the same level

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What is your biggest weakness?

ahhaha, I think the easier question would be “what isn’t your biggest weakness” because we could be here for days. But let’s see… hmm… oooh this ones my favorite. You see, I do this thing where I feel as though I don’t belong here and that everyone hates me and wishes I wasn’t there. Also, I sometimes speak really fast or slur my words and I also can’t write that fast or that well, so the cooks might have a bit of a problem with that. I also don’t take criticism well so if I do something wrong, I may or may not cry or never speak ever again. I also have a tendency to not make friends because I think they all hate me, think I am weird, don’t want me there and I also am very much awful at small talk. Do you want anymore?

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Why should we pick you?

I have no clue bitch, but if you need a reason not to pick me, ask my ex because he seemed to have a lot of reasons to treat me like shit. Also, if you do pick me, I will think that you did that by accident and that the other people who didn’t get it now hate me. Also I will panic a lot and although I will work very hard, I will be shaking so much that I don’t think I could carry out any plates or drinks. I also can’t do math all that well if I don’t have a calculator. And if you don’t hire me, I don’t think I can ever go back here again because I will be highly embarrassed so you would loose a customer as well

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Tell me about a time you have been in a stressful situation?

Oh, so my life story? Ok, well it all started the day I was born… 5 hours later… and here I am pissing myself because I realised that I just told you every single memory I have and you guys have actually left I just realised so now I am talking to a wall. Oh, and the lights just turned off so I guess I am the last one here. Why am I still talking to myself?

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Do you have any questions you would like to ask us?

Yes actually. What am I applying for again?

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Anyways, thank you guys for reading this post, I hope you enjoyed it. It was kind of a piss take but like that is honestly what I would say. Wish me luck for my interview and hopefully I don’t say anything like I just did above. Tell me about what your first interview was like. Did you make any mistakes, or panic or any more bad experiences? Write them in the comment section below. I can’t wait to read them. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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Is Texting A Ticking Time Bomb?

From the perspective of a 16-year-old girl, I would have to say yes, texts are a ticking time bomb. Call me old fashioned, but honestly, I don’t trust that shit. They are so unpredictable. Now I could lie to you and say that is the reason I don’t text people much, but the plain truth… Continue Reading →

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The power of apps

This could possibly be my most dumb fucking post because I know I’m about to sound like I’m some sort of old bitch who just discovered the internet, but honestly, I just think of a lot of random crap and I like to share it, whether you like it or not. I mean, if you… Continue Reading →

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Do You Know What’s Weird? | Plants are alive

Now please don’t think I’m some sort of alien conspiracy bitch, like I understand that plants are a living thing because I went to school (not in the USA) and did biology (again, not in the USA) so I would say I know a thing or two. I also think about things too much which… Continue Reading →

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Where Is The Back Button On Life? I Need Out Of This Bitch

This is not a drill guys! I was called yesterday by a manager of a restaurant I applied for and he booked me in for an interview on Monday. Bitch when I tell you I am shitting myself, I am quite literally shitting it. I mean did I apply for it? Yes. But it is all too real now. They are all gonna judge me and be like what is this bitch doing. And if I even get the job, I won’t be able to make friends with the other staff cause I can’t even socialize! Like I am going to be so out of place and I literally won’t be able to get everyone’s food on time or hold all the plates or talk or write down quickly. I hope they got tablets for us because I don’t think anyone could understand my writing. I have a literal doctor’s handwriting after a 24 hour shift and 200 pages signed. Like it really is that bad.

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I don’t know why I am freaking out already though because I haven’t even got the job and it isn’t until Monday that I have the interview, but this is my first ever one. I don’t know what to wear and like what if I dress up too much or too little. What if I can’t hear what they are saying and I have to do that awkward shit where you ask them to say that again for the 5th time. Or what if they ask me a stupid fucking question that I didn’t prepare for and it is just me staring at them awkwardly like “oh shit”. I don’t think I am cut out to be a waitress in all honesty. I had always been excited to start a job and earn some money, but now that there is a chance that could happen, I don’t want it anymore. I am happy to just live on the streets. I’ll sneak onto a cruise and go across the world. Or maybe I will make friends with some rich old man who will let me live on his boat and when he dies I can just sail away and never have to work. To be fair though, I am looking forward to tips though, and also if there are Karen’s I can actually say something, to an extent I guess. Because when you hear them in a restaurant you literally want to shout over to them and say “watch your mouth bitch. It isn’t their fault that they don’t serve your great grandma’s famous cheese sauce”. I won’t be able to say that but like I can say something a bit passive aggressive and slabber about it later.

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What I also can’t stand the thought of is being the new girl. Like what if they call me newbie for the rest of my life or if I make a mistake they will call me something like… I don’t know a nickname for that but you get what I mean. I am not ready for that. They will all have their friends already too so I will just be that awkward girl who is sweating profusely and being really quiet. I don’t want that. They could all be chavs too or like really annoying and it would be so awkward if it was just me and one other person just staring like “hey” with that awkward white person smile. I think that if I wasn’t hired, I could never go back to that restaurant ever again because that would be embarrassing as fuck, like imagine me going in and then everyone is like “look at that actual idiot that couldn’t even get into a crusty restaurant. It is a nice restaurant though but just for the purpose of this post let’s say it is crusty. It is also gonna be so awkward because when I go in I will have to be like “hey, I am here to like take your job” and then they will have to lead me to the room.

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Also when I was on the call, the man sounded nice and all but he cut out for a minute and then I did understand him but like I was panicking about what he could have said and then he said what time to come down and now that I look back at it I am scared in case I got it wrong. Like what if I go in and say “hey I am here for an interview” and they are like “bitch that isn’t for another week” or “you stupid bitch, that was 2 days ago”. Like I can’t handle the embarrassment. And what if I go “hey I am here for an interview” and then they look at me like “ok? the fuck you want me to do?”. I would walk right out to be honest. After the manager had called I literally sent a fucking documentary of a rant to my friends, pretty much like this, and because I am the first one to do this, they did fuck all and I was here like wow, so much help guys thanks. And some were like “oh my I’d be shitting myself”. Yeah no shit. I also told them to apply for it and I don’t know if they have yet, but like that would be so much better. It would be bloody awkward though if they got it and I didn’t and now they are the ones alone and I am just standing awkwardly like “so… was it that scary”. I also don’t cope well under that much stress and people concentrating on me and it always shows as well. Like my face goes so red that it looks like it is about to explode and I sweat like a bitch. I slur my words and literally get sweaty ass hands, so if they go to shake it, they gonna be getting one unpleasant surprise.

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So, if you haven’t noticed yet, I am terrified. If any of you guys have any tips with interviews or being a waitress, that would be really helpful to hear in the comments. And maybe if you have any of your own stories or how you felt getting your first interview that would be great. Hopefully on Monday I tell you a success story, and not an embarrassing one because I may have to just leave this planet forever. Everyone always says to “just be yourself” but I don’t like myself so why would anyone else?! I have the worst sense of humor so if I attempt a joke and they just stare at me, I am running out, or at least trying to with wobbly legs. Anyways, please send in any tips or stories, whether that is embarrassing, fun or just normal. I hope you guys have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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Why Does Nobody Appreciate A Bargain?

POV: it’s Saturday. You are with a friend on the train and because we are so spontaneous we say “hey, why don’t we go to Botanic instead?”. You feel crazy because you are now getting off one stop later, what a rush. You go around and live the quirky life you desired as you shop… Continue Reading →

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The Most Common US Misconceptions About The UK

This post is gonna come off as fucking cheeky and kind of playing with American stereotypes, but I want to make it clear to you now that I 100% mean it. So, sorry I guess but it has to be done. To be fair though, when was there ever a need for you to learn… Continue Reading →

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How To Describe My Blog

Sometimes when I am writing a new post I sometimes look at myself in the mirror and wonder what the fuck I’m even talking about. What genre is this? I would say comedy but then again I don’t want to seem cocky and I don’t even know if people understand my humour. I would also… Continue Reading →

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