Is 6th Year Really Worth It?

I’m in lower 6th and yes I have only been so for about 3 months but the thing is that I didn’t even know if I wanted to go back to that hell-hole. The only reason I did go was because I didn’t know what else to fucking do and I have FOMO so I didn’t want to miss anything. But would I have missed much? Is school really worth the 7am alarm and the boring painful days? Let’s discuss it

Btw this isn’t me about to talk about smart shit like “you need to go for uni” or “it will make you successful” because firstly do I even want to go to uni? I don’t know. And secondly it won’t make you successful because how the fuck would that make any sense. I’m just talking about whether 6th year is really worth the emotional and physical burden so that I can help people in a similar situation to what I was a few months back. So let this be your guide or some shit but let’s get into it more

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Teachers

Honestly, the teachers become your friend in a way. Like they actually talk to you and respect you more and you can slabbed about the younger years with them. Like I had always seen the really loud annoying people chatting with teachers and I was eaither like “how the fuck” or “why the fuck” but now they actually want to talk to us and it is easy to talk to them too. I guess it depends on how nice they are but for me I’ve been lucky. I suppose there is this one teacher who makes me actually shit myself but I think she doesn’t try to and like she is funny and tells us stories about her family which is cute. We actually had such a great convo about squid games which I guess is quite random but like we were actually all vibing over it. And then they talk to you even in the bus park and it just makes you feel a wee bit special and like before people would think it was a bit weird but when you are 6th year it is absolutely great.

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It is weird I guess to see your teachers as actual human beings. Like they talk about a life outside of school and actually being a living, breathing person. Obviously it isn’t like we are hanging outside of school with them but like they tell us stories about there weekend and while I try to look interested I can’t stop from getting an existential crisis. It happens though I guess. Teachers were actually one of the reasons I was questioning if I should go back to school or not because, to be fair all the teachers in my subjects are good, but like you do have preferences and I was scared I was gonna get crappy teachers who were rude to me but like not even. I love all my teachers and even the ones I don’t have you I used to not like are actually nice and respectful when you are walking down the corridor. It’s almost as if they realise we are a human with feelings as well.

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School to Life Ratio

Obviously I can’t speak for everyone and every school, but for me I do 3 subjects and that means I get a few study periods each day, well apart from the odd day where I have none, and so I get all my homework and revision and shit done during those periods. And do you know what is great about that? You guessed it! I don’t have to do shit outside of school. To be fair, I maybe should but like also I don’t really need to so like deal with it. You would assume that would make me have more time to socialise and, you know, be a normal teen girl, but like it just takes the homework out of my day and I stay my normal depressed hermit self. And I’m fine with that to be fair. It’s better than be a depressed hermit doing homework. So yeah, I feel like I was really scared that I would be bombarded with work and I would always have my head in the books like a DWEEB (jokes) but no literally I haven’t done anything at home and while there is a lot of work and it is a tad more in-depth and difficult, I get to study the subjects I genuinely like and that always makes it easier. So you don’t have to study things you don’t give two fucks about and it is more of a relaxed atmosphere. But I don’t know, maybe I should be doing work outside of school. I guess I’ll figure that one out but at the moment I am getting by with just in school. I’ll keep yous updated I suppose…

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School Status

I actually hate that sub-heading because I sound like the start of every ‘coming of age’ American high school movie to ever exist but I just don’t know what else to name it because, believe it or not, I am not a walking thesaurus. But just ignore that and we’ll move on. So what I mean is that, you know when you are in first year on like p1 or maybe just one of the younger years and you see the older ones walk by and you think they are the scariest, coolest people to ever exist and their presence is a blessing to you. Well, you kinda get to witness that in a new perspective. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t feel that way about myself and I do genuinely get scared of the small first years who literally have no filter or understanding of actual social etiquette after ‘rona, but there are a lot and when you walk into the 6th form room or just walk past them at all, you know they are looking up to you and that you will be in the right no matter what. In short, you basically run the school. Well, more so the upper 6th but like we are nearly there so deal with it. I do feel kinda bad sometimes though because in school I sometimes look like a bitch but like it kinda is their fault cause there annoying as fuck, but I feel like they might think I am judging them, but like I am not (not too much anyway) so like I don’t want to make them panic I suppose. So yeah lol, you definitely do finally have that power and knowledge that we instil some fear in their lives.

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But yeah, I suppose that is the post all done. To summarise, I guess I would say that 6th form is so different from other years. It is more chill in terms of the number of classes, relationships with the people in your year and your teachers and just the overall respect and trust they give you. It feels more like a home I suppose and for anyone reading this to help them figure out whether they should or shouldn’t stay in school, I say don’t focus on the work because if you don’t go then I assume you don’t want to go to uni, which is perfectly fine as well, but I mean having bad grades is equal to having no grades at all, but you still get the experience of school. I am glad I stayed on to be honest and I would say just to think about what you genuinely want. Not what society or your parents want you to do, but what you think is best for you. Obviously all schools are different but I really enjoy school at the moment and that is a lot coming from someone who had the worst fucking years of school EVER. And I mean I was crying most nights and genuinely thought I would never make friends or go to a party or anything like that. But listen, you will get through it and if you go to 6th year and realise it isn’t what you expected/need in your life, then fucking leave. It’s voluntary and free (in public school anyways) so just test the waters because what have you got to lose? Pretty much nothing.

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Also I feel like a lot of people wonder if being in voluntary school makes it easier because you aren’t forced to go by law, but like I don’t really think about it that much. Like it doesn’t affect how I think of school or studying. It doesn’t make me more or less motivated. It’s just a fact an nothing else. So yeah, I hope that helped and please do like, follow and comment if there are any other questions or problems you would like me to talk about. Let me be your older sister in a sense because it is a hard decision to make, I must admit. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Train wreck of thought

I haven’t posted in a while, obviously, and I ain’t gonna explain why because it’s more boring than you think. It’s not like I went on a fucking trip to the Bahamas despite the fact I hope to go there some day if corona ever goes away. But anyways, a lot has happened like me starting A levels, which I think is 12th grade in America, and my sister is also away to uni in a whole different fucking country. I mean I know you didn’t like me all that much but geez, I get the fucking hint.

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I also got a hair cut that is like shoulder length and made me want to cry on the first day but then when I styled it I liked it which I think is the ritual for any hair cut. Surely that is the same for guys too. I mean even I cry at some of the haircuts guys get. I mean that barber really did you dirty with that ski. You’re starting to look like Stewie Griffin from Family Guy. Do you know I also literally get a wee hairdresser that comes to my house. Not in the way where like I am so rich I hire a personal hairdresser, but as in it is cheaper and kinda just for the lols. That is totally unnecessary for you to know but it is what it is I guess.

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But my mum literally knows her from a friend who is the hairdressers friend and client and my mum is like “it’s a small world” and while I do use that phrase quite often, or at least when necessary, but like it really is incorrect. I mean it’s a small fucking country. Northern Ireland is barely a dot on the map, don’t quote me on that, and it doesn’t bug me but gets me thinking, something that flat earthers never do.

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I actually remember one time when Logan Paul posted a video of him talking to a flat earther and the whole click bate was that he believed the guy and I was like this is bullshit. Don’t worry, I have not been converted. The reason I mentioned it was because it is the perfect transition into telling you very frightening times in my life. Firstly, and I am ashamed to say it, I was someone who nearly bought Logang merch. DON’T WORRY! It is not contagious and I have got it sorted. It was a close call but I made it. I mean I was invested in his man’s life. I wanted to meet him so bad and thought he was such a cool dude. Like when he bought a massive pumpkin, I was on my knees worshipping him. Like it was not ok. I didn’t stick around long enough for him to like do that video in Japan and I think the only thing I have watched of his since is when his bird died LOL. I mean this guy makes everything into a joke. His family, his bird, his life, EVERYTHING. He did start some trends though I have to admit. Not good ones, but trends none the less.

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I think I can forgive myself for that because it was kind of inevitable for me as I was in my flat cap phase. All of my friends will instantly know what this means, but to catch you all up, it was bad. VERY bad. I thought I was so rebellious and edgy. I have this one photo that haunts me to this day. It is me on my holiday after I bought my first flat cap and I swear if you look closely enough, you can see me slowly turn into a disappointment. And again, just to clarify, I am out of that now. Well, the flat cap part, maybe not the disappointment part. I think I need to show this to my therapist

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Anyways, thank you for reading my rant and it was very random so sorry for dragging you down my train wreck of thoughts, but you got to the end now and you can have a rational thought again. As a recap, never EVER fall vulnerable to flat caps. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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I’m not above a fight

See, I don’t really like it when people are cheeky to me. I mean you can be upfront and shout at me and I’ll be fine with that. My sisters have conditioned me to that. But if you are being passive aggressive or cheeky in front of me or behind my back, I won’t hesitate … Continue reading I’m not above a fight

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Back To School. Could I be bothered?

The answer is no, but it is also a bit more complicated than that. Do I like the first day of school where everything is new, you get the new time tables, new classes, new teachers? Yes, you could say that. But in general, I really could not be arsed to go back. Lately when I talk to my friends, they are all like “yeah I think I am ready to go back to school though and I’m ready to go back to normal school life and work”. And I’m just here like “yeah totally” but in reality I just don’t want to go back. Especially as we’ll have to do those shitty tests they make you do that really make no fucking sense. Like how do they test your smartness based of whether or not you know how many holes there will be in a folded piece of paper. Like it really is a load of shite. If I was a teacher and saw that someone couldn’t mentally fold a page into a swan or some shit, I wouldn’t be thinking he was dumb, I would think he has more important things to understand, and surprisingly origami isn’t one of them.

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I don’t know if my friends are a bunch of NERDS (jokes I love them) but they are prepared and talking about how they want to go back because we have been off so long and I just join in because I don’t want to be that one bitch that goes “I actually couldn’t give a shit if I were to never go back to school. Like I’m done with this hoe and I don’t want to start” because they would disown me. I think I’ll just go because I have nothing else to do and I don’t want to end up living at my parents house for the rest of my life and become the creepy auntie who is always way too drunk and getting way too close for comfort. And I always try to come up with these money making plans and they never turn out the way I want. I do keep going with them too be honest. I mean this blog was one of the attempts, but it is what it is and maybe some day I can drop out of school and do my own thing.

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I’m going into lower 6th, which is the second last year of high school, so it is the first voluntary year of school. So technically I don’t have to be there. I don’t really know what that is gonna do for my motivation because it could kinda be one of those situations where you are excited to do something but then when someone tells you to do it, you turn into a stubborn bitch and don’t want to do it anymore. Or maybe I just won’t try because there is no pressure of me having to go there. The one perk though is that we get a separate we area in the school that only the 6th years can go into because we are obviously the elite. And now we can be the intimidating ones that tower over all the first years and are best mates with all the teachers. Well, maybe not that last point because I am still socially awkward.

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We also only have to do 3 or 4 classes now which is good but I feel like it will still be just as much work and that makes me want to die. I picked 4 classes (chem, geo, business studies and Spanish) but I’m planning to drop one in the first month or so. It’s a good plan like so that if I find I don’t like one, most likely chemistry, I can drop it and not have to worry about it. But at the moment I can’t be arsed doing any and I’m scared I’m gonna hate them all or maybe drop the wrong one. It’s a possibility. And the first timetable I have won’t have as many study breaks and that might freak me out, but it will be fine right. It’s also gonna be so scary to tell a teacher that I want to leave their class. Like I don’t need to say it to them, but leaving implies I don’t like what they have devoted their life to. Likes like the biggest insult of all time. I am also shitting myself for the smaller classes. My Spanish class will defo be small and that is so scary because I will have to answer more and I can’t just hide in the back. What if everyone there is fucking annoying and I just have to vibe there for the next 2 years. What if we are the boring class that they hate to teach? What if I turn out to be shite at the subject?

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Maybe living in my parents house forever isn’t all that bad. Maybe I can be the fun drunk aunt who always buys the alcohol, takes you shopping, gives the best advice and shouts at your parents for doing anything other than worship us. Sounds fun like. Maybe if this blog blows up I could also just leave school but I won’t put that pressure on you guys lol. Anyways, I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Train wreck of thought

I haven’t posted in a while, obviously, and I ain’t gonna explain why because it’s more boring than you think. It’s not like I went on a fucking trip to the Bahamas despite the fact I hope to go there some day if corona ever goes away. But anyways, a lot has happened like me … Continue reading Train wreck of thought

Makeup and Me

First of all, to the people who are in the comments right now saying “It’s makeup and I, not makeup and me” literally take you Hermione Granger ass outside or “I” will personally make Jeff Bezos land his fucking dick rocket on you. I mean would you slate Marley and Me for the grammar issue? … Continue reading Makeup and Me

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The Biggest Difference Between Primary and Secondary School

Now, if your looking for some sort of “12% of children going into their first year of secondary school with anxiety brought on my the change of school” then you are out of luck bitch bitch there is one thing and one thing only that I will talk about in this post. And what is it you may ask? What is the biggest difference between primary and secondary school? The time.

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What I mean by this is the fact that primary school felt like a shit ton of time. I mean it literally made up the first 10 years of our life. I remember it felt like P3 lasted for a million years and the rest went a wee bit faster but still seemed to be never ending. Not in the way that it was boring as hell, which it was, but I mean it felt like it was my whole life and the difference between P1 and P7 was such a jump and thousands of years apart. Yet, in secondary school, I am going into lower 6th and I feel like I was in 1st year last year. It is so weird and although I do feel like I am this old, I think that time has gone by so quickly. But then I say that and in the moment it actually feels like a fucking long time. Getting through each year didn’t feel fast but when you look back and actually process the information, it really has just flashed past you. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad it’s all over. I would definitely never do that shit again but like it’s weird.

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And I can’t even say “time flies when your having fun” because there was not one ounce of it. And that isn’t an exaggeration. Like, if anything, I should be saying “time flies when you wake up disappointed that you actually woke up”. Like that is true. And in primary school we had the best of time eating glue, scrapping our knees, learning how to not pick our nose in front of people, but yet it felt like an eternity. Literally make it make sense.

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Maybe it is because so much changes between P1 and P7. I mean you literally do go from a literal foetus child who only is just potty trained, to a preteen whose only personality trait is being the oldest in the school. I mean I am right aren’t I. And then from 1st year to upper 6th, you are actually fully aware that you are alive and have responsibilities and the only thing that really changes is you mature, you have a wee bit more knowledge, you get increasingly more terrified of the future, and, last but not least, your mental health is close to the point of no return. All fun right?! :/

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Honestly though, I don’t mean to scare anyone that is going into high school or secondary school or whatever the hell you call it because we all go through different experiences and that’s fine. So your experience may be great, others may find it shit and that is fine because it’s normal. This is just a stage of your life that you need to get through and on the other end you can completely forget it and move on or use it as a show of your strength. And I’m not gonna tell you some bullshit motivational speech where I say “these years are the best years of your life” because that shit hurts, but also because you are the one who decides what the best years of your life are. I mean if these years are utter shite and you think “that’s the best years of my life wasted”, just think that it can only go up from here and that those years don’t define you. You had to hit rock bottom so you could push off stronger than ever and reach the heights you deserve. They don’t define you unless you want them to, so just hang in there ok. It goes by quickly, yes, but in the moments where it feels so slow, you gotta remember that it’s only a small part of the big plot of your life. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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I Got My Results and I Feel…

I got my GCSE results yesterday and to be honest, I feel the same fucking way I felt last week. I mean there was no big sigh of relief or weight off my shoulders. I didn’t turn ecstatic, it was just another part of my day. Like it was literally just reading letters on a page. I did really well so it isn’t like my marks were the problem, but I just remember when I was in my first year and you would see all the old ones getting ready for GCSEs and getting the results later on and I would think they were the coolest people and it must be such a great time to see how you have done, but like I don’t know if it is because of corona or something, but it doesn’t seem that big. Like, it hasn’t affected me a lot and I never really was that worked up about it even before. I may have acted like it because everyone else was so excited but I didn’t really feel any different. It makes me sound ungrateful and I know that but it is true. It just doesn’t seem like such a big deal to me.

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Please, if someone got their results in the last few days, tell me if this is the same for you because I feel like it was a total anticlimax and I thought that something big was gonna happen and obviously it didn’t. Were my expectations too high? Was I too tired? Did I just not care? I mean even today, it is all in the past. You just move on. I don’t look at my grades and think of the great future I can have and how successful I can become with careers and shit. Like it was quite literally just a bunch of letters. That sounds like it was a really inspirational moment as well, as though it put everything into perspective, but it was just nothing you know.

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I also get awkward as fuck whenever people ask me what I got because I did well and I don’t want people to feel worse if they didn’t get what I did but still did awesomely and then I would look like that bitch feeling nothing for their results but overhyping their results. So I kinda just say I did well unless they specifically ask me what I got. It do be like that sometimes I guess. And my results are quite literally in among a pile of rubbish in my room and I know where they are like. They aren’t actually in the bin, but I always expected them to be like up on the fridge or like in a picture frame, but it is just there and I don’t give a shit about it.

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I called my granny on the day to tell her what I got and I swear she was more excited than me. Obviously, she wouldn’t be like “Ok?” and hang the phone up, but like I was just like yup. I didn’t fit the vibe check to say it in other terms. It was one of those moments where you are like “what now?”. I expect that to happen when I finish A levels or uni, if I even go, because what happens after you pass and everyone is like “well done” because you just go home and the world keeps spinning. Nobody else in the world is affected or knows of it and some people feel like their whole life has changed for good, but there are people just having a normal day. Seriously though, what did you do after graduating from university? Did you just go home and make yourself something to eat as usual? Did you wake up the next morning and have nothing much to do? I mean you have to start thinking about jobs and shit and actually making a living. It’s kind of just like another level of a game, just glorified. And I know this is probably dragging everyone done if they had a great day yesterday, but for me, that is how I feel. Just the same.

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I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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I Think I Know Why I’m So Stupid

Ok so look, I haven’t been posting in a bit because I’m busy and all that shit. Wow, I’m a poet and I didn’t even know it. Anyways, I reckoned I would post something today while I have the chance and I wanted to do a wee story time or something. And this will be about the multiple head injuries I had when growing up that I think may explain my oddness and mental… imperfections. So yeah, there are 3 short stories so buckle up and lets get started

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Stairway To Hell

I’ve called this story the stairway to hell not because I did one of the wee rides or adventure things where you climb high or anything and then I called it Hell for a play on words. No. Here it is. So when I was a child, I was staying at my granny’s and at this point my parents were outnumbered, or just fed up with all our shit, and couldn’t keep an eye on everyone. So me being the adventurous child I am, I was wondering around, or at least I guess I was, I mean I don’t remember anything from when I was a literal foetus. But yeah, I got to the top of the stairs and thought I was an absolute smarty pants and that I could somehow get down the steps. So that’s what I did, or at least tried to do because I ended up falling down all of the and breaking my leg. Now a leg injury isn’t a head injury but I’m guessing I hit my head a few times on the way down or maybe I hit my head before the fall and that’s when I made that dumb ass decision. I think I kind of deserved it though. I am also being quite hard on a literal foetus child because they barely recognise that their nose looks nothing like the ‘nose’ they supposedly stole from me.

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Do you know what is gross though but also kind of cute and I see myself doing in the future if it came to that. My parents kept my little cast. It was like a full leg cast but is the size of my foot now. That’s kind of a weird comparison but deal with it. Anyways, yeah they literally just showed that to me one day and I was like “that’s cool but also what the fuck surely that’s absolutely minging”. It’s also kind of weird to think that we were that small and we have grown so much since then. Like we were all once little munchkins running around, slobbering and shitting everywhere. How beautiful :/

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Head and Spoon Race

Do you like my wee play on words there! Analyse this Miss English teacher bitch! Anyways that was intense, just like when I was a toddler at a restaurant and I was running around like we usually do. Don’t worry there was a wee play area there for kids that we could run around in. But anyways, I was running to go back to the table and fell, as one does, but somehow my head landed on a fucking spoon and indented my head. Apparently it was bleeding so much that my mum had to get a waiter to drive us to the hospital while she stayed at the back to control the bleeding lol. Thinking about it now, I hope he got a good tip or a raise or something because why could my dad not drive us? Maybe he was drinking? Or like why not ring an ambulance? Poor guy just wanted to get paid but no, I just had to get a spoon stuck in my head. How pathetic is that! Literally it sounds ridiculous. Imagine I died from that!!! DEATH BY SPOON! Stop that is too funny lol. I would turn into the girl in the story your mum tells you to stop you running around anywhere.

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I actually still have a scar from it and although it is faint and you wouldn’t really recognise it unless you stared at it for long, and who the fuck would be staring at me, but like it is pretty full on. It doesn’t sound very intimidating though. Like imagine I joined a gang and they were like “you see this *points at scar*. Bullet hole, 1986, had to take the bullet out myself and stitch it up with only the homeless guys hair and a rats tooth. Nearly lost all my blood but I survived for 4 days all alone in the gutters with nothing but mice to eat and then finally somebody found me” and then I’m just here like
ME – “damn, that sounds tough. But do you see this *points at scar*”
THEM – “mmmm no?”
ME – “RIGHT well it’s there ok! stupid bitch. Spoon hole, 2007, fell on the ground and a waiter drove me to the hospital. I had to get stitches from a doctor and was home the same day. And he gave me a sticker”

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Do you know what adds to it though. I literally had to get a cast on my fucking head because I wouldn’t stop scratching the stitches off. How dumb was that! The doctor was probably sick of me and was like “I’m going to embarrass the fuck out of this kid in the future” because now I have bloody photos of me with a massive fucking cast on my head. Maybe that is why my forehead is so big now! All the bumps just ended up staying there or the cast stretched it or some shit lol.

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Head and Seek

I can actually remember this one because it was in p6 ( which is around 9-10 years old for all the Americans out there). I remember it all and it really is hilarious. So I was playing hide and seek with a few of my friends, as you do, and it was a pretty intense match I have to admit. So I was going to run into the bathroom as a sneaky wee trick and somebody else was opening it and I went to sprint in. Full pelt in, but only my head got through because the door slipped from their hand and slammed my head. I remember being like “hmm, ok that’s embarrassing as fuck” and then my friends were like “OMG are you ok” and I was like “yeah, I’m fine” because I was so cool at that time obviously. But then they were like going to get a teacher and I was like “no, it’s fine, I just feel a wee bit tired”. I now know that is a sign of a concussion. I was also very out of it and confused, another sign of concussion.

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But then they were like “your fucking head is bleeding you dumb bitch”, or something along those lines, so I was like fine and we went to the teacher. Obviously she was like what the actual fuck, this child is literally bleeding and looks like she’s drunk or some shit. So they brought me to the nurse and got me one of their handy dandy wet paper towels (that defo saved my life) and I went on for lunch and got all the attention which I obviously loved. They had called my mum but in the mean time I was milking it to all my friends and was like “it hurt really bad but it’s totally fine, I can handle it”. And I distinctly remember someone was like “can I see it” so I took of the paper towel and they were like “oh my god I can literally see right through” obviously you really couldn’t but I thought I was the bees knees.

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Eventually my mum came to pick me up and brought me to the doctors who stitched it up and told my mum to check on me during the night to check I don’t become deceased and that was that. I came back to school the next day like the baddie I was. I don’t really think I got a scar from that but it defo jolted my brain a little and I will blame that for all my failures in life for no particular reason. It was a good laugh too I suppose. I also have a quick question for all the American’s out there. If any of this happened to you would you literally just risk it for a biscuit and not go to the doctors because of no free health care and all that shit. Would you just take all the nurses paper towels and sleep under them or something because damn.

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Anyways, those are the three biggest injuries I have gotten that have probably impacted my brain or the eventual outcome of a massive forehead which I very much despise. It’s all fun and games though and I’m still alive today which can be seen as a positive and negative lol. Hopefully that is all the head injuries I got for a wee while and just remember, don’t be a cocky bitch baby, watch out for spoons, and never hide in the bathrooms for hide and seek. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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The Best Part About Having Great Friends

Now, I ain’t tryna rub this in anyone’s face or nothing but like, I have a small group of really close friends and despite the fact it took me a while to get over myself and make friends, it was totally worth it because we are so close. We have never had fights like everyone else seems to have in school, and we are unproblematic. There is 5 of us, including me, so I suppose you can say we are a smaller group, but I don’t think I could imagine there being anymore. There have been people who have tried to go into our group which leads to awkward situations but it has always just stayed the same for us. Pretty much we just live our life like the people who walk away from an explosion without looking back to see it. We are those bitches and I wouldn’t change a single thing about it. So that does sound like a bit of a flex, but I added that because there is one thing that happens that I absolutely love and that I know other people go through with best friends. So lets talk about it.

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So, this thing is when you are with your friends, it is usually getting dark and you are not surrounded by other people, so you’d be in a tent or like outside or in your bedroom in an empty house, and then the conversation changes so quickly. Not as in “I love dogs, except when mine bit of my Nan’s arm”. But like when you are talking about something hilarious and then the next minute you find yourself talking about how we just live on a floating rock in empty space and we don’t even know what is out there. And I have no fucking clue how it gets there but like it isn’t awkward at all. We are all just like calm and talking back and forth and then you say something like “I just can’t even comprehend blah blah blah” and then someone else is like “that’s the same with me” and then you realise you aren’t crazy. Then all of a sudden you have just spilled all of the tea and fully exposed yourself but like you don’t even care. The thing that is extra funny about it is the fact that it is pretty much never mentioned again until the next time that situation happens and even then you usually switch up the topic. Maybe one week it was an existential crisis and the next it would be sharing traumas and then maybe next week we’ll mix it up with a talk about how scary the future is. It kind of is just pot luck at that point.

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Do you guys get that with your friends though? I always find it so fun because it is so spontanious and you find that other people understand and it shocks you and nobody is proper going to make a massive deal out of it and treat you differently. It doesn’t really happen with everyone that I am friends with, which is literally not that many lol, but with the closest friends this would be a regular moment. It happened yesterday when me and my friends were like just going to Tesco and then a field and it just hits out of nowhere. And then you usually just catapult back into the most random shit. It really is a mountain of emotions. Like we go from fuck all, to everything, to even less than before.

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This kind of a random post, a bit out of the blue you know, but like I have changed into a working woman because I have a job and that has made me exhausted and with little time to spare, but don’t fret guys because I will be trying my best to post I just don’t have a mind full of thoughts at the moment. It’s a good job though but I still literally freak out when I have another shift. We move though. So yeah, I’m keeping this short but I also want to add that if you are reading this and are like “oh shit I don’t have this with my friends” just know that it took me a while to find the right people and get comfortable enough to talk with them like that. I mean if you read one of my past posts abut my first year of high school you would know I never thought I would get to this point. So just be yourself and wait because you will find those friends someday and you can’t rush that shit, but it will be so worth it, trust me on that. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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I Hate Genes

To any foetus child out there who is like what the fuck are genes, basically they are the characteristics that we get from our parents and they make up who we are and what we look like. For example, I inherited my dad’s white ass Irish skin which burns like a bitch whenever a bloody … Continue reading I Hate Genes

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Things That Make Me Feel Stupid (well, more than usual)

We love a good self-deprecating post. It is kinda fun though because it is easy and I can say anything I want about myself and I won’t offend anyone, unless you are literally the exact same as me. Multiverse?! But yeah, some of these things are kinda basic but, being a person with a typical low self esteem, I feel a lot of things make me feel stupid. I’ll only list a few things today though so I don’t make myself look like an actual idiot. This is just for the lols as well guys so don’t get too offended or like anything like that.

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Paint-by-numbers

Can You Color Inside the Lines? Yes No What Did You Expect ...

This one doesn’t make me feel so much as stupid as it does untalented. Like I really have 0 talents and it shines through in paint by numbers. My mum got me one and it is really fun and I enjoy it like, but I don’t know if my hands are too shaky but I can not keep it neat and I can’t keep it even either, like you can tell there is more paint in some parts. I can also tell that art is not my strong point because I just can’t figure out how much paint I need for a certain bit and I end up getting none on my brush for a big section and then literally the whole wee tub for a tiny section. You do have to admit though it can be quite hard when you have the little bits and, me already being quite blind, has to go right up to the picture as though I am freaking lying down or some shit. Do you guys get that in school where you like realise that when you are writing your face gets so close to the table and you are like when the fuck did that happen. I always find that and get super embarrassed because there really is no need for me to do that.

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Another thing about paint-by-numbers that I know every fucking one of you understands is how hard it is to open the lids of the paint. Like they are so tiny and literally hurt and you are scared it is just going to go flying everywhere when you do. I am better than a few years ago I must say but like some are so hard and I really do feel defeated by a piece of plastic. It defo fits into the same category as that other packaging that knives or scissors are in and can only be cut with knives and scissors so you are screwed because the thing you need to open it is the thing that you are trying to get out. As you can tell, this is quite a passionate topic for me

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Conversations

How to talk to people | Steven Universe | Know Your Meme

This happened like literally 10 times yesterday and I know a lot of you guys, if not everyone, will feel the same way. There are a few things withing this category that I want to mention, the first being that you can’t understand what the person is saying and you ask them again and again and eventually just go off their cues. Like I had asked my friend to repeat herself twice already and then I saw she smiled so I was like “aha oh really” and like nodded my head and smiled. She could have been saying absolutely anything and I would have no clue. Then you just awkwardly stop talking because you don’t know what to say after and you spend the rest of the day trying to figure out what they say. And sometime when this happens and you think they said something but you are like what does that mean so you say what you think they said out loud and they are like what the fuck that isn’t what I said lol and then when you hear yourself say it you realise you are so dumb and it was so obvious. Like say my friend was talking about cinema’s or whatever and I was like “who’s cinema” and then I would be like that was so stupid. That was actually the worst example I could have used lol but we move.

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Another thing that makes me feel stupid is when you are having a conversation and you either can’t pay attention to what they are saying for some reason or you can’t keep track of it and despite the fact you were listening, you don’t know where that part of the convo came in. It is so hard though whenever you can’t pay attention to someone who is talking but you want to and then you are thinking too much about trying to listen that you can’t actually remember what they just said but now they are asking you a question that gives no indication of what we were talking about like “what do you think” and you just panic. That literally happened to me at my job interview and I nearly shit myself. And then when you get into the position of not understanding when that part of the convo went in and you have to ask so many questions that they probably just explained like “so what was that cat? Whose was it? When and where did you find it?” And you realise you just asked the whole fucking backstory that doesn’t even matter and then sometimes you still don’t know what they are on about

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Drinking

The best sobriety memes : stopdrinking

When I say drinking, I don’t mean like alcohol or whatever, I just mean the action of drinking. I just can never seem to understand basic physics in the moment I am drinking from a bottle. The number of times I drank too much and had to literally drown for a second so I didn’t spit anything out is actually ridiculous. It happened so much on online school too because my camera was off, luckily, and I was bored as fuck so I would just be looking into space and the only thing I could do was drink more water and then I just didn’t grasp that if I picked up the bottle quickly and brought it to my mouth then a wave of water would happen and end up going all over me. It was so humiliating despite the fact I was the only one in the room. Do you think that someone has actually died from swallowing too much water and literally not being able to breathe. It hurts to doesn’t it. And I always seem to miss my mouth when drinking out of a glass and I am like “hmm why is there water going down my top” and then I’m like oh cause I’m an idiot. What I also hate is when you just took a drink of water and someone makes a joke and you have to literally fight for your life to not spit it out everywhere. You literally look like a puffer fish and it is not ideal.

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“Child Geniuses” The TV Show

Me irl | Child genius, Student memes, Top memes

This is one of the examples where it makes me feel dumb but I am glad I’m not one of them. Like I genuinely feel bad for those kids because they defo have no friends or spend time doing normal stuff and they will become depressed and like become a hippy. That is true though. I mean great if you child is smart but like why put them in a competition that, if they doesn’t win, will make them think they are dumb but they really just aren’t. And some of the things they have to do aren’t even good for life. Even some school subjects are more useful than what they do. They have to fucking learn the order of a deck of cards and like all of the streets in London which is literally one of the hardest tests and adults struggle to do it. And the spelling bee… don’t get me started. I had to use auto-correct to spell geniuses. That is no joke. The spelling bee is better though but literally makes me feel dumb as fuck. It also cracks me up though. They are so proud of themselves and literally spell the most fucked up words. Iridocyclitis

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Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this post and if you did don’t forget to like, follow and comment what else makes you feel stupid and see if anyone else can relate. But yeah, I’m going to go a do things that make me feel a bit smarter than usual like watching Dora the explora. I can always find the things before she does, lazy bitch. But yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow for even more. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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Read some more posts

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Going Back To “Normal”

Hey guys, so I haven’t really posted on here in a wee bit but like life happens so deal with it. Anyways, I guess I just wanted to just talk about how today I am kind of transitioning back into a normal, pre-covid, life. And what is it that I am doing you might ask? Well, I am going to be going back to Ju-Jitsu for the first time in forever which is kind of fun but at this point I don’t even know if I am interested in going and that could be because it has been a while or it could also be my mental state lol. A large portion of it is also not being able to body slam people and knock the shit out of them. You don’t really do that in Ju-Jitsu anyways, but like I did karate before and there were fights that you could do and it was actually quite fun. I think the only reason I stopped that was because it was becoming very serious for me and they wanted to put me in world championships and that shit but I am quite a home-bird and also that was around the time I started first year and my mental health was… declining. So yeah, in another world you could have been watching me knock the shit out of someone on the Olympics, but that would be women’s sports so I guess it isn’t that big. LOL THAT WAS A JOKE I SWEAR. I AM A WOMAN AND JUST MAKING FUN OF THE FACT MEN THINK WOMEN’S SPORTS IS BORING.

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But yeah, I think I tried 4 different martial arts classes in my lifetime. I also swear that when I first asked my parent’s if I could start karate I thought I was making up a word but I must have heard it from someone subconsciously and I was so freaked out when they said “sure”. I’m not sure if that was a mistake or not but I did ballet before and that was not my cuppa tea lets just say. I have a really embarrassing story from ballet but I don’t think I will ever tell you what it is. So I don’t know why I just told you that if I am not even going to tell the story lol but yeah it was embarrassing. Do you know what is funny though, and my English teacher would literally eat this up, is that I started my ‘martial arts journey’ in the leisure center and the 4th that I am in now is at the same leisure center! Cyclical structure?! I hate how I thought of that. LETS ANALYZE IT! no. I never have to do that again and I am thankful for that everyday.

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You probably aren’t wondering, but I am going to tell you, why I left each of the classes. They are pretty good stories actually so lets get started

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  1. The first place I went to was at the leisure center and it was for karate. My friend at the time went their too and I was like wow this is so fun. Except for when the grading part came (if you don’t know, this is how you go up the belts). The man that was their was so fucking creepy and there were so many people I didn’t know and the building that it was in was so sketchy and like had the worst vibes. I think a lot of my anxieties formed there. So that was one reason, and literally gave me PTSD to think about, but the other reason was because it was a small class and literally took fucking ages to move up just one belt. I think that for moving up each belt you had to do 2 gradings and then when you got to the higher belts you had to do 4 to get to the next belt. I know the black belt takes a while but like the fucking rest of them!? There was no need. So I left
  2. The second place I went to was probably one of my favorites because the people their were nice, I moved up pretty quickly because, ya know, I was a pro and all that. I stayed there a while and only left because high school really messed me up. I remember one time I literally cried when I was doing one of my gradings because I was so stressed out about everything. It was in a nice hall this time but like was still far from home and different to usual and really just set a bad vibe for the rest of the day. I liked this one a lot because they were obviously serious about it and actually did fighting and shit. There were competitions I went to and did well at and I nearly got to my brown belt I think, but I still remember the last day I went there and I was literally holding back tears and then when I got back to the car my mum was like “what’s wrong” and you know that hits different when you have been holding back tears the whole time, so then I quit. Little did I know that was only the fucking start lmao. High school was not good for me, let me tell you that. But I actually enjoyed it and fully miss it.
  3. The third place was BY FAR the worst of them all. I remember going to it and it was a fucking joke. I should have known from their logo and their fucking clown gees. It was new and my mum was like you need to go because you are good at martial arts and I was like fine and I actually hated it with a passion. They made it seem like they were so cool but they pretty much made up their own fucking martial art. These people spent 30 minutes of the 45 minutes doing warm ups and then the last 15 minutes I was having to work my way through literal fetuses doing random ass moves. They had a fucking grey belt! I might as well leave it there. They fully made up a belt and thought they were doing something. Like bitch just stop. And they would have all these literal weapons that looked like they were from an unrealistic ninja movie. I stayed there way too long and it was honestly embarrassing. People literally send their kids there and think they are gonna become a pro fighter but no, they are just gonna become a joke. So I left that place
  4. The forth place. The place I am at now. The place that I like despite a few different complications. The people there, to start, are mainly nice, but there are a select few who I… dislike strongly and would happily knock out. I am on my purple belt actually so have been there a while. The people are nice and, unlike the third place, they are official and not a joke. I am starting back today and the only reason I am not looking forward to it is that you aren’t even allowed to throw people so there quite literally will be nothing to do, but it’s fine. There are other reasons too but I think I have insulted my peers enough today.
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Anyways, that is all I can be bothered to talk about today. Lets hope it all goes well and I can control my emotions well enough. I am also not very fit after all that time off so literally watch me get the reddest face ever lmao. Are you guys starting anything normal at the moment or are a lot of your hobbies still closed? Leave your answer in the comment section below, I would love to hear what you are doing. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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Do You Know What’s Weird? Languages

Me, personally, I love languages. I don’t know what it is about them but I find them so interesting because the whole world has different ways of communicating and it makes sense to people despite the fact we have absolutely no clue what they are talking about. To be fair I only know Spanish and English but still. I mean I wish I had the time or the motivation to learn more because it is so awesome, but there are also times where I just think to myself “what the fuck”.

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There was a time where there were no languages and then the next day they were just like “ok we need to come up with a way to communicate that everyone will understand” but how did they say that to each other? How did they talk about starting this and using their voices to make words. And I know that a lot of modern languages came from Latin or some shit but how did Latin come around, and if we know what that came from then how did that other language start? There was once just a person that was like ok we need to do this but how the hell. And they were the ones to create the best invention in the world because now we can communicate and thrive.

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This might sound a bit stupid but, being the dumb child I was, when I would ask how Spanish people would understand what other people were saying when speaking Spanish, my mum would say “well it’s just their language so they understand it like we do with English” and for some utter shit reason, I thought that meant that they would translate what they said into English and then translate their response back into the language they spoke and then I would be so confused as to why they couldn’t understand us when they have to translate everything into English to understand it. Obviously, I have changed now and actually love languages but how fucking dumb was that. Literally, me thinking that everything revolves around English which is actually kind of does and I feel privileged to be a fluent English speaker, but I was innocent as fuck back then.

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That kind of leads me to my next point. Why have we chosen a ‘superior language’? How did we just decide that it would be English? Now, I know that English isn’t the world’s most spoken first language but like pretty much all countries, I think, kind of make you learn English in school as if you wouldn’t succeed without it. I know that I learn languages but it isn’t as stressed as what I would think learning English would be. And English is a fucking hard language. In never fully appreciated how hard it was until a couple of years ago because before I was like “well we don’t even have an accents on our words so it isn’t even that hard” but then I realised that words are spelled and pronounced so differently that it is just ridiculous. I mean who the fuck decided there would be silent letters. Like Pterodactyl. What the fuck is that? Honestly. And then there are the rules like “I before e except after c” but then there are still words that go against that. Honestly, I would give up if I had to learn it. Wait!!! I just remembered one of the most ridiculous words in the English dictionary. Queue. This has to be a joke. You can not tell me that the only letter you pronounce is the very first one while the others are just there for show. Like how the hell is that real. As a person of the English language, I would like to formally apologize for this and I hope this hasn’t fully destroyed your love for languages.

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Are there just people who come up with languages though. That’s the thing. And how long did it take for the first speakers to start a language because I mean damn, I can barely speak the language I have known my whole life. Props to them I suppose but I only have one more question for you. Were you on literal drugs when you came up with it because god damn this shit is crazy. But yeah, I suppose that is my questions over for now about how weird languages are. I still love them to be fair but like, they are freaking weird. If anyone is reading this and has had to learn English as a second language, please comment down below and tell us what it was like to you and what other things still confuse and shock you to this day because I am sure there are many. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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The “Magical” Transformation That Happens When You Combine Two Of The Best Brain Reprogramming Technologies

You’ve heard of NLP? It’s almost cultish. It stands for neuro-linguistic programming and it’s like someone had taken the best out of all forms of psychotherapy, threw them in a blender and created NLP. If you don’t get what I’m saying, NLP is two things. First, it is a way of thinking. It’s a framework … Continue reading The “Magical” Transformation That Happens When You Combine Two Of The Best Brain Reprogramming Technologies

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The School Newspaper (The Biggest Joke)

I don’t know if the american’s are taking over our school or what, but they decided to do a wee school newspaper. I thought that sounded cool and I was interested in reading it, but on the front cover, there were a few things that got me thinking ya know. Just a few points I would have changed completely, just to bring the truth back you know. But yeah, lets get started,

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At the bottom of the cover it said ‘we wanted to give the pupils an outlet to express their opinions, interests and passions’. I just wanted to ask, who put the gun to that writers head because that was a pile of shit. Also don’t worry, we haven’t been fully converted to the american ways so I was talking about a metaphorical gun. Just so you guys know. Anyways, lets get back on track. From my many years of experience, school really has done fuck all for our interests and passions, and don’t even get me started on our opinions. You should see their bloody face whenever we give our opinion on something. It is literally a scene from a horror movie. Even in English class whenever your analysis is basically 100% made up and what you think it is, there is still a right and a wrong answer. They could literally write a movie about how someone gave a separate opinion in English and then the teacher killed them with her stare. They seem so offended, but like you don’t even know what the fucking answer is because they teach you fuck all. That isn’t even a joke. My English teachers literally always say “this has to be pupil lead, ok. I can’t teach you this, you need to do it yourself”… Why the fuck are you here then? Seriously? Because for the past 30 minutes I have been travelling into the darkest areas of my brain, just to figure out why the fuck they put a “and” in the middle of the sentence. The amount of shit I come up with really is worrying, but they expect us to know everything about the text, despite the fact we don’t give a fuck. And that is the truth. My teacher was literally like “why does the host sing” and we were like, I don’t know, and she was like “well obviously because he was part of a choir in the 1960’s. That is so obvious guys, because it says in the book ‘hello’. You really need to try guys”. I don’t even know what to say anymore because shit is flying everywhere, but there is not a fuck in sight. Do the teachers actually believe what is coming out of their mouth or is it a universal joke, because if it is, it isn’t funny anymore. Why can’t I enjoy a book of a movie without having to think of the word placement!

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The title of the school newspaper is also called “the student voice” but like we aren’t even talking about our opinions really and it is only a one off thing. They really said, “smile for the camera” and then throw us back in the bin afterwards. Like I 100% know that at the next open morning they will have a fucking field day talking about how they really wanted to hear our opinions and that they are such an accepting school, and all the parents are going to die for it. Then there is just us at the back, not taking any of the crap they are saying. It kinda makes me laugh though because we literally have no voice in anything. Yes they are good at asking us, but it goes in one ear and out the other and you can tell on their face that they don’t give a crap what you have to say. You could be crying like “school is so stressful and I feel like it needs to be more organised with homework and tests and over all support with mental health” and they will give you the creepy smile and say “ok. Who is next?” as though we are a fucking McDonalds drive through.

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I do have to admit though, my school (which shall not be named~Voldemort :0) is quite good to us. Most of the teachers are nice, once you get past 3rd year of course, and it isn’t too bad in terms of school life. It isn’t perfect but it is the systems fault and they don’t have a lot of control over that part. They are fairly inclusive I have to admit and I am glad to go there… Why the fuck did this just turn into an ad for my school. Watch me read this on opening day lol. But yeah anyways, I just thought the newspaper was a bit of a massive lie which is a tad bit funny. I think if I were to write something in the newspaper I would write about something like “what do you do when you run out of fucks to give” or “how to dodge the bullshit”. Those sound like self-help books that I wanna read to be honest lol, but I don’t think my school would allow the inappropriate language. So sorry about that loves. They literally die over 2 earrings or if you have one strand of dyed hair, so maybe my taste in content is a tad too much for them at the moment.

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Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this content because I feel this was quite the relatable one. Wish me luck also because I have my Chemistry and Spanish test today and I am supposed to be studying that right now, but if you read yesterdays post, you will know that I am right on schedule. Believe it or not, this blog is my way of trying to escape school so maybe I can make money from this instead, but we will have to see. It is fun anyways, so if I end up at a 9-5 office job I can just do this on the computer instead of actual work. Please like, comment and subscribe if you like this content and I will see you tomorrow with even more. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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What I Wish My Teachers Knew

In the many years of my school life, there are a lot of things I have realised, such as the quiet kids are forgotten and the loud, rude ones are adored. And there are many more, so I want to address some as if I had to tell a teacher what I think. If you are a teacher and you learn from this then you are as good as a teacher who already does these things already. Just because you hadn’t done these before, doesn’t mean you are a bad teacher because if you changed some things then it shows that you actually do care and I respect that so much.

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I wish that teachers started to talk more to their quiet students because I am one of them and, although it sounds a bit attention seeking, we have things that we are worried about and need help with, but we are too afraid to ask because that comes with so many repercussions, like drawing attention to ourselves and getting judged or shouted at by the other loud ones. I do understand that a lot of you do try but then because we are a bit awkward and quiet, you don’t really talk to them anymore. And I understand how that must be so awkward for you, but if you talked to us more than just the one time, you would see that we are actually nice people with a lot of things to say, we just don’t have the voice or confidence to say it. I know that for me, it means so much for a teacher to just say hello or just appreciate that we are there because a majority of the time, we get drowned out by the other people who act like complete idiots and are being so disrespectful to you. I just wish that teachers got to know all of their students and understand how they are feeling and what they are getting stuck on because it can be really tiring sometimes when you feel like you aren’t getting heard because despite the fact we stay quiet, we actually have an opinion. And to add to that, make sure that you don’t let the quiet people get bullied especially in your class because it is so obvious sometimes but teachers usually just laugh at them like “boys will be boys”. Showing that you care makes a big difference in our life.

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This is such a big one and since somebody mentioned this to me, I have always thought about this whenever meeting a new teacher. Are you a human before a teacher, or a teacher before a human. Now I am not accusing teacher’s of being literal lizards or something, but what I mean by this is, do you empathize with your students and understand that we make mistakes or forget things at times. And maybe you remember that nobody is good at everything so if we are struggling, actually understand and help instead of rolling your eyes like we are a burden. Here is a quick test to see whether you are a human or a teacher first.

  • When someone forgets their books do you a) shout at them and give some form of punishment or b) say that is ok and to try and remember next time
  • When someone forgets their homework do you a) shout at them and give a detention or b) tell them that is ok and to try and hand it in as soon as they can
  • When someone stops doing well in class do you a) embarrass them and make them seem lazy and a failure or b) after class ask them about what is going on in their life they need help with or just anything in class they need help with
  • When someone is late to your class do you a) tell them to stay after class and interrogate them for why they are late and tell them to never do it again or b) welcome them in warmly and if it happens multiple times ask them how everything is.
  • When someone doesn’t participate in class do you a) put them on the spot or point out their quietness or b) ask them if they are ok or just don’t understand anything
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I could go on all day asking you questions like these, but I think we have enough. If you answered mostly a) then you are a teacher before a human. If you answered mostly b) then you are a human before the teacher and I applaud you. When you are a human before a teacher, you are caring and understand students abilities and emotions and you actually care about their wellness and future. But if you are a teacher before a human, you are teaching them that mistakes are wrong and they are going to be useless. You teach them how to live in a military society and make them feel unwelcome and as though they are stupid. So please just know that we are just kids and teens who literally have no fucking clue what is going on or who we are. We have so many things to think about outside of school and just because we don’t do everything perfectly, doesn’t mean we are rude or disrespectful, we just need a bit of time to collect ourselves.

This happened to me just the other day where I was walking down the corridor and this teacher, who had clearly seen me, was walking past. This was an empty corridor, just me and her, and I went as close to the side as I could to be polite because, respect your elders and all that. But she literally barged into me and didn’t move as though I was the problem. Just because you have been on this earth for longer than me, doesn’t mean you can disrespect us. Respect goes both ways, so if you are getting talked over by students or generally not listened to, you probably just need to show us the respect we deserve. Don’t get me wrong, the younger years are bloody annoying so it is ok to put them in their place, but for the older years, we are nearly adults and at this point we are sick of your shit. We aren’t all bloody chavs and literal idiots and we do respect you, but only if you give us the same back. I just find it rude that they think everything they do is right and we are just invisible because we don’t want to be here any more than you do. You chose to be here. You get paid to be here. And all we get is a busy schedule and mental health problems.

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The last point that I wanted to mention today was that we actually appreciate some motivational talks, but it just depends on what type of one it is. Now, if you give us the same bullshit as everyone else, like on the first day back when you give us a talk about how we are gonna do so well and that we are going to make this year so great… save your breathe because we have heard that 10 times in one day already. There are some teachers that genuinely are so nice with what they say and you can tell in their voice and the way they look that they do actually mean what they are saying and actually care. These talks are the best, and when said at the right times, can make our day. My English teacher did one today and it did make my day a bit better. It was still a shit day, but not as bad as it could have been. But listen close to this. If you are ever going to make a motivational speech, no matter when you say it, don’t ever diminish what we are going through. This isn’t even just because of corona. This is every time of the year, in any decade, in any month, never make our situation look easier than it seems. I don’t mean that you should just say “your life is shit, school is shit and it will never get better” because we need to know that someone actually has hope. What I mean is that you shouldn’t be like “but if you think about it, you are actually really lucky and your better off than other years because blah blah blah blah blah”. Turn that shit off because I don’t wanna hear it. This happened not long ago from another teacher and I was just looking at her as if she just was mental because who the fuck is she to tell us how we should feel. She literally could have said something like “keep your head up because I am going to get you guys through this and you will do great” but instead you really had to assume what we think and feel. I do not feel luckier than any other years and I most certainly don’t think I got it easier because this has fucking sucked so much and having you put words into our mouths is making this situation feel so much worse. You make us feel isolated or dramatic because we think nobody else feels this way. Try not to be too uplifting with things and think before you speak I guess.

If you are a teacher and you have made it this far, you are a real one. I know that you care and aren’t offended by what I said because it is the truth and you want to help improve your students lives. I really appreciate it if you are one of those teachers because you are going to change someone life. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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Weekly Reminder

Hey guys, another week has gone by and for a lot of us, we may be going back to school next week. Well, I am anyways. I have a total of 18 exams in the next 5 weeks, all which goes towards my GCSEs (aka decides my future) so to say I am scared would be an understatement. Have I revised? No. Will I revise? I have no clue bitch. But I guess I just want to make this weekly reminder about the fact that, just because you are finding revision and school hard to get done, doesn’t mean you are lazy or dumb. Here’s what I mean

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For the past year we have been chucked left and right, up and down, with no support or recognition. Yes, the government say they “understand” us, but they fucking don’t. Yes I can hear that they seem sympathetic, but answer me this, what have they done about it? What teenager have they seriously talked to about how they have been affected? What have they solved? Well, for the UK, the answers are, they have brought all the exams forward with little understanding of what we are being tested on or help with the topics. They have asked no teenager about their feelings and have just went off of stereotypes like “the reason they are struggling is because they are on their phone all day” or “they just don’t like school and that is why they are failing, they need to grow up”. And to answer, what have they solved… I have no fucking clue. I guess they are trying to give us a fair shot on predicted grades. Oh wait, but they gave us no warning of tests, with little preparation while a lot of us are in an unhealthy mental state. Hmm, I guess they eventually got us all back into school. Oh, but we have been bombarded with work and stress and little time to breather or settle in. You see, the thing with our generation is that we don’t openly show our emotions, or at least not in a way other generations would understand. I don’t know about everyone else, but for me there is a bad stigma around struggling mentally and when we speak up about an issue, it is seen as “disrespectful”. Then when everything gets to much and a tragedy happens, they wonder why we didn’t speak up and so they have an assembly. Then the cycle starts again. We miss a homework, the teacher gets mad, we tell them it is because we are struggling, they ignore us, something bad happens, they never learn from their mistakes.

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You see, when you miss a homework, or when you don’t have the energy to revise, it is OK. And I don’t care what your mum, dad, carers, teachers, anyone, says because they have no fucking clue what is going on. Not the faintest fucking idea. And I have no clue what your situation is right now, but I know that there is something going on in your life. Whether it is just Corona or something else, you have something going on and I hear you. Don’t let anybody make you feel weak for the way you feel, or downplay the severity of your problems because it is not your fault and you need to know that. Shit happens, but for you, too much shit has happened. I am sure missing homework or failing exams is the least of your worries and that is just how these feelings are being expressed. Yet nearly every teacher is blind to that fact. They don’t see you thoughts, they don’t know your story, they don’t see the real you. So no matter how much they harass you, just understand this isn’t your fault and I am not gonna promise you it will get better soon because I don’t fucking know. I sure hope it does, but I can’t promise that. All I can say is that you aren’t alone. You have your whole class behind you, you have me behind you and no teacher can fully understand what you are feeling at the moment. Maybe you don’t even understand, that’s ok though. Life has been changing every single day since the beginning of 2020. News changes, families change, school changes, our routine changes. And just when we feel a bit settled in to one way of life, it is shifted. I know that for me, one of the many reasons I struggle with doing things such as homework or studying is because I feel as though it is going to change, as though I will start to revise and it will all be cancelled. As though I will have to go through all the mental pain of school and then all the mental pain of realizing it was all a waste. These past years have been filled with so much pain and we just don’t want that to continue any longer.

So, if you were to take one thing from this post, let it be the power to not let people make you believe that you are just lazy and that you are overreacting, but that you are confused and tired or the changes and pain. You are so strong and not doing homework doesn’t diminish that. Don’t let ANYBODY tear you down or make you feel less of yourself. Do you realise how much you have gone through to get to this moment? It is amazing how you have made it this far. Nobody knows your journey apart from you, so don’t let them write your future. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.


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Could I Be Bothered? #1

So here we go with a new series where I tell you whether or not I could be bothered with certain things going on in the world. Don’t worry it will be exciting.

First things first. What has been going on in the world? Despite corona of course because I mean I am so over that. So I guess I can’t be bothered. Anyways, what about…

Easter

Now, I am not trying to get all political now. I’m talking about Easter egg hunts and all that type of stuff. I am 15 right now, in that “awkward” phase, if you will. Now here is a question for you? Are Easter egg hunts still suitable for teens? The answer is FUCK YEAH, I’m gonna be bunny hopping this bitch if I need to. My mum had the audacity not to make one this year. So, could I be bothered with Easter? Yes. Normalise enjoying the childish things in life. I mean I can’t wait to have kids so that I can go on Easter egg hunts or trick or treating without it looking weird. I’m gonna be the one begging my child to watch blood Frozen. Childhood rules. So yeah, I = bothered.

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English Class

You guys already know the answer to this one. HELL NO. I don’t need a class to tell me how to overthink every little word because that is in my genes bitch. These teachers also don’t even do there job. They just stand in front of the class waiting for us to explain a word we haven’t even heard before. These bitches be learning from Dora or some shit. Instead of asking “what is your name” and waiting 10 minutes, they be asking “WHY is your name” and waiting 10 minutes. What the fuck does that even mean? I guess Swipper took all the fucks because I can’t give one. I = unbothered

Trick Question

What I mean by this is the questions mums and dads ask that make it seem like you have a choice but there really isn’t. I mean just tell me to do something and, yes I will complain, but like then you are just being honest with me which is better ya know. I can NOT be bothered with the let-down when you say “it wasn’t a question”. I think the fuck it was. You had a “can you” at the start of the sentence which, if I remember correctly, signifies a question. So just get the pain done and over with. I = unbothered.

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Gifts

Now, I don’t want to seem rude but like I never know what to get anyone and I hate having to think of something suitable for the person and for the amount of time we know each other. The worst thing is buying for boys because there is literally nothing I can get them that they don’t already have. Although the good thing is, the only boy I have to get gifts for now is my dad so it is all good. But yeah, over all, gifts are stressful as fuck and I would prefer to show them what they mean to me in a different way. Can I be bothered? No.

Clothes Shopping

Yes, I am a teenage girl, and yes, I don’t like clothes shopping. I mean if you think about it, it is boring as hell. All the clothes now a days are so… out there, and I am not a very out going person so I don’t like to wear clothes that are adventurous. Wow, everyone reading this definitely now thinks I am a hermit crab… but you can’t prove that 😮 Now, don’t get me wrong, I do like me a few new clothes, but when I have to go and find something I just can’t find something I actually like and then I get exhausted and in the end it is just my mum throwing stuff in the basket that my 8 year old cousin would probably wear. I prefer to buy clothes if I haven’t planned it or if I am just on a wee trip with the mates, ya know. So yeah, I could not be bothered.

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Arguing

My sister’s are very… opinionated. They don’t take shit from nobody and always speak there mind. Which is a good thing, don’t get me wrong. I mean I respect that. The thing is, I am not. I don’t like to argue with people for reasons and I just agree with them, to an extent I guess. There are things I am concrete about and I will body slam people if they disagree. But no, if I said something I found out and they were like “that’s not true” I would be like “oh ok then” and move on. Or if I liked someones music and they were like “that is utter crap” I would be like, yes it is, and never listen to it again. So yeah, arguing is not my cup of tea. UNBOTHERED.

LOL so these are just a few this I wanted to say in this. These weren’t really about current events, but I could not be bothered. Yup, you got another one. I’ll see what I can do for you next time though. Comment below if you agree with any of these or if you have anything else that you can or can’t be bothered with and maybe I will mention them in my next post 😮 Please like, comment, and subscribe if you liked this content. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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Weekly Reminder

Hey guys, so listen, I know that for a lot of us out there, this week has been so fucking tough and I know that you don’t have the words or the energy to explain how you feel but I have an important message that I really want you to hear and I promise I will keep it short.

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Whenever you tell someone ‘I am really tired and struggling this week’ and they say ‘yeah everyone is at the moment’, I just want you to know that, although it is true, that doesn’t take away the fact that you deserve to get help with your thoughts. Just because a lot of people are struggling, doesn’t mean that that makes your situation any less because it still affects your life just as much as before. You need to focus on yourself and realise that it is ok to not be ok as long as you get help. Don’t think that it is ok to struggle like you do now because ‘everyone must feel the same way’. That is there problem and the only person you need to take care of right now is yourself because you can’t give all of your love to someone else because then what are you left with.

It is like when you are on a plane and they say ‘in case of emergency, oxygen masks will fall from the ceiling. Put your mask on before you help others’. So in life that means that you need to help yourself and make yourself safe before you should start helping others because, if you don’t, then who know what will happen to you. You matter most ok and I never want you to forget that. So yes, others do struggle but you deserve just as much help and support, your thoughts matter and you deserve to live better than this.

Thank you guys for reading this and I hope it helped some of you to remember this because it is so important to know at this point. Please take care of yourself and know that you mean so much to the world. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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What I Do To Survive Being In School

Key word here is survive. You wont enjoy it but you will at least make it through the day, I hope. So here it goes, and to all the people in school, good fucking luck, you are gonna need it

Empty space

I really like this one and it is really easy. So while your teacher is talking about how much they hate online school, all you are gonna do is stare at the wall. Now, make sure it is at a place where nobody would think you are staring at them. Maybe look out the window, and then just zone out. It is quite relaxing if I say so myself. You can kind of hear the teacher but you are just listening to the random thoughts in your head and you just forget that you are sitting on a chair made for someone with no backbone.

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Internal

So while your teacher makes the joke about ‘it is great to see your faces again, or at least half of them’, just scream. Not outwardly of course, but like in your mind just have a rant with yourself. I find this really therapeutic but just don’t let it get to the point where you want to cry with anger because that would be a bit embarrassing to be honest. It also means you wont actually accidentally say it out loud and it can get quite intense in there. I just think about how much I bloody hate school with all my heart and how none of this even matters and life is a joke. But you can decide what you want to say.

Meaning Of Life

This may get a bit dangerous for some people, but as a way to look interested in the subject they are teaching, it is really useful. So while your teacher asks the class a question, nobody answers and they say ‘are your mics muted’ all you need to do is just think about the fact we are in the middle of nothing that is growing into something constantly and we are made out of particles that have been alive for all time and the fact that matter can’t be created or destroyed except it had to be created at some point because how could it of just appeared from nothing. I do scare myself sometimes but it helps me to not give a shit.

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Draw

My skills have actually become immaculate, well for modern art anyways because this shit be looking like a 5 year old did it, but who cares. So while your teacher is secretly drinking wine in their coffee cup, all you need is paper, pen and boredom. These 3 things really go well together. You don’t even have to know what you want to draw, just draw fancy scribbles until you see something you could make out of it. Kind of like trying to make sense of the mess that is our life.

Experiment

This is an interesting one. While your teacher is talking about how much they care about your mental health while they hand out a massive tests, what you want to do is really focus and see if someone can hear your thoughts. This is quite a difficult one though because you need to do it in a secret way because if you say ‘I want to see if anyone can hear my thoughts’ in your head, then they will hear it. So just scream at random moments to see if anyone jumps. So far, nobody, but is there hope, no.

Anyways, this is basically all I can do to keep me awake during school. Kind of just controlling my fall to the deepest pits of hell, I am nearly there though lol. So yeah, if you liked this content please do follow and like. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


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Little Things That Annoy Me On Online School For No Reason (Have You Noticed Them?)

There are a lot of common things people get annoyed at, whether that is just having to sit around all day or the WiFi not working, just stuff like that. I am not talking about these things today, I am talking about the little tiny things that others may not notice, just like one of those tiny flies that fly around your face while you are talking and you just can’t stop getting distracted by it.

Silent But Deadly

I know what this title makes you think of, but that isn’t it. What I mean by it is that I hate it when there are certain teachers who ask a question and go quiet for way too long. Nobody is answering and nobody know who is about to start talking first. Maybe nobody will, but that is even worse. There are three ways this can end. 1, you speak first. Nobody else talks and you get it right. Well done you, you stopped the bomb. 2, you start to talk, but so does somebody else. You both stop starting and stopping to talk at the same time, just that little sidestep you do when trying to get past someone. You never speak on zoom again in fear of this happening. 3, nobody talks, the teacher waits longer, still nobody talks. Suddenly, you find yourself in deep shit. The teacher is shouting, complaining about everything going on in their life. Their marriage, quarantine, drinking problem. They stop. Everyone leaves. So yeah, a majority of the time, it is not ideal. I hate the silence with a passion.

Sweet Or Sour

Right, this is literally the most annoying ever. This is when the teacher’s are trying to act nice but everyone can tell they couldn’t give a shit. To be fair I don’t blame them, but passive aggressiveness annoys me in general. Like they just be staring at the camera and you can see it in their eyes that they are ready to slap us all, but they have ask a question like ‘hope you guys are all ok’. Oh my god, or they like ‘just text if you want me to help you with anything’ but you can tell they will give you fuck all if you ask them. The last example of this is also when we have had quite a quiet class, so everyone is a bit on edge, and then at the end of the class they say ‘has anyone got anything to ask’ and then time just stops. We all have our mouse on the end call button, even the teacher, but she just stares as if we have literally failed her as a class. She is as close to giving up as she is to the camera. Just their face staring. It do be giving me nightmares. Yeah, that kind of passive aggressiveness just gets to me :O

*crickets* THANK YOUUUUUU

Ok, so I guess this is nice for the teachers, but this is when the class is so quiet the whole time and then the teachers say ‘bye’ and then there is a long silence when everyone stays on the call waiting for one person to say ‘thank you’. Then everyone erupts and says THANK YOU at the exact same time. I do feel kind of bad if we don’t do that I guess, but the thing is, nobody wants to be the first person so you are just waiting there awkwardly and then all of a sudden your ears are blown off. I just can’t deal.

The most important thing is _/\/\/\_ is that all OK guys?

Just ignore my attempt of trying to portray a glitch through a keyboard. And to be fair, this kind of a big thing that happens to probably everyone, but… get over it, this is my blog. LOL anyways. You could have been sitting through a whole bloody lesson just for this one piece of info that you need and then that is the moment that they glitch. You just waiting for it and all of a sudden, BOOM, WiFi is non-existent. Yes, I probably could just ask for her to repeat that. Will I know? No. Why? Because then the exact same thing I explained in the first example will happen, and I am still recovering from last time. I mean maybe the thing she said wasn’t that important, right?

Time is Ticking Bitches

In our school, our classes are only supposed to be 45 minutes each to give us time for any technical difficulties and stuff like that. Now lets play a bit of ‘never have I ever’. Never have I ever finished class in 45 minutes. Never have I ever not been rushing to go onto my next class. Never have I ever had my class run into break and lunch time. Oh wait! I have actually. The only thing getting them away from it is the fact they are my favourite teacher. And every single time they keep saying ‘I am conscious of the time guys, don’t worry’. Umm, I don’t think you fucking are because the time is ticking. And then they keep going on with other questions and it is so dragged out because nobody answers and then they do a massive conclusion and then there is the whole bloody awkward THANK YOU thing at the end even though we have nothing to be thankful for!!!!

What Is Time Anyways

On the topic of time, I don’t think that the teachers really realise that the timetable is still a thing. They be starting and finishing these lessons as though they themselves are literally time. They also forget that, just because we at home, doesn’t mean we have more time for work. They be like ‘here is a big pile of homework’, we all panic but she says ‘don’t worry, I know it is a lot’, relaxing, then ‘I am setting it for tomorrow instead of the end of the day’, PANIC. They really woke up and chose evil.

Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed and this actually makes sense for some. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


What I Noticed While Talking to Teens About Mental Illness — Peace from Panic

Last week I spoke to teens about mental health, like I’ve done dozens of times before. But this time it felt different. This was my first set of presentations since early 2020, before COVID-19 lockdowns. I’m a speaker for the National Alliance on Mental Illness. I present NAMI’s Ending the Silence program to middle grade […]

What I Noticed While Talking to Teens About Mental Illness — Peace from Panic

You guys need to read this post. It is absolutely amazing to me because it kind of shows us all that there are actually adults out there who genuinely care and try to understand how we feel and why we do what we do. There are two really important questions in there that two brave people asked about which I think you guys could really benefit on, not just from the answers, but just to know that there are other people who feel that way and you aren’t alone or crazy for thinking those thoughts. But yeah, please give that a look guys and really soak it in. It isn’t long but it packs so much force.

Thank you so much for reading. Please like, follow and comment below other topics you would like me to mention, what this post meant to you, or just whatever you want. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.


All You Can Do Is Laugh

This is gonna make me sound crazy, but lets hope it is just crazy relatable. Do you know when your life is completely crumbling around you? Yeah? OK good. And do you know when you sit there and you have no clue what to do because everything is happening at once and all you can do is… laugh. Please say you do because I literally do this so much that my mum probably thinks that I have gone insane. I try to explain this to my friends as well but they don’t pass the vibe check so I am just left their looking like I have just given up in life. Which I guess isn’t wrong but like…

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This happens everyday and usually during English, because everything is just so ridiculous and no matter how long I search, I still can’t find the point. Ya know. I mean my teachers talk and expect me to be able to read this dead person’s mind and I just stare at the screen like :”’) and I just can’t believe my ears. That isn’t me judging anyone by the way, if someone actually likes English that is completely fine, but for me, I can’t cope. I already overthink my thoughts so I don’t need anymore practice you know. NO I literally also be laughing in pain whenever the teachers give that speech again where they are like ‘I am such a nice, relatable person, because I am telling you that I know so many other people are giving you so much work and that I know what you are going through, even though I really don’t. I am also going to add something about mental health, even though I don’t give a shit, just so your parents think I actually care about you. Hopefully this will lessen the blow of the 15 page essay which I am going to give you 1 day to do instead of just the one hour because I am just that nice’. If that doesn’t sum up their whole speech, I don’t know what does.

I feel like I just laugh because there really isn’t anything else to do in that moment. I can just start crying because I don’t really trust the mute button or the camera-off button. I can’t just leave because I need to get good grades. I just hope that laughing tricks my brain into thinking that I am actually enjoying time like this. There are times though when I laugh for real. But this is only when I get onto the zoom call and the teacher isn’t talking so I go off that screen for a second and do something else, but then later on they just talk out of nowhere and I literally have a heart attack. The amount of times that has happened is probably unhealthy because the wave of fear and confusion is like a literal electric shock.

School is really tough for everyone at the moment, and for people who have even more going on at home, it can be so much worse. And when people get overwhelmed, they can have the tendency to cope with that through laughter or by making jokes. I am not making this post as a cry for help but just as a reminder that people don’t always look how they feel. Maybe you do the same thing. We just need to remember that this will pass and I mean laughing at bad stuff isn’t the worst thing for you. So let’s just laugh our way into normal life and get through it. Soon enough you will be laughing for real, and that is when you know you are on the right path.

Thank you for reading guys, but I also wanted to ask your something. Would you guys be interested in a podcast? It would be me reading these posts with added comments as bit of a comedy thing. I want to do this just because I know there are people out there who find it easier to listen to things, or maybe just so you can listen to my blogs while in the car. Please let me know how you feel about it and maybe you might get a podcast, and you can hear my actual voice :0 don’t get your hopes up though, I hate my recorded voice. So yeah, as normal, like, follow and donate any change you may have because I really want to keep all of my content free for everyone, and if I am gonna make a podcast I kind of want to use one of those wee tiny mics just for the LOLs, but I can worry about that. Hope you have a great day, stay safe, and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Life After GCSEs – What Comes Next?

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For many, this question is easy to answer. They know they want to move onto A levels, then go to uni and get a job. I used think that I was one of those people, until now. The year I am making this move.


I know that a lot of people are making this life changing decision now, and you might be one of the lucky people who have it all sorted. For me, I am stuck. For as long as I can remember, I wanted to be a police woman. I wanted to help people out, be out and about, and I just found it interesting over all. I just supposed that I would go to university because that is what everyone did. But now so much has changed and while I do have the idea of being a police woman, I don’t know how I am going to get their. Right now, I want to drop out. I never wan to go back to school or be so controlled like that all the time, but there are so many things making me stay in school.

For one, how will I get a job when I am only 16. I mean I can’t just lay at home all day and laze around because my parents would not be happy would that and, frankly, neither would I. I am gonna be honest, blogging was one of my ideas to earn money for a living so I could drop out, although I found out that I do actually enjoy it. I mean I would love for this to work out but what if it doesn’t. What is my backup plan. I can just sign up for being a police woman and start my training but I always feel as though I will be looked down upon as that young girl who dropped out of school. And currently it is hard to find jobs because of, well, corona.

Secondly, is being a police woman right for me. That’s the thing. What if I drop out and find I don’t get in or I don’t like the job. What if I drop out and my ‘dream job’ was a failure. Lately I have also been having doubts about even trying because, if I am being honest, I have kind of been warming to the idea of acting. I think that would give me great opportunities in life and then, hopefully, I can use my platform to get my voice heard and others about problems in the world. Because I mean, who would listen to one police woman? Also the stigma around the police at the moment. I hate how they have shown themselves as racist, blood thirsty animals. They just attack and think they are above the law and I never want to be associated with that. I would never do something like that and even though I can tell others that, they probably wont believe me. And they have every right to not believe me because all we see are how crap and corrupted they are. I never want to be accused of something like that. And how could one young girl go in and save that. Why would they listen to me. And that is kind of why I am questioning that decision and that it would be a good idea to build up my voice in the world. The problem is, I live in Northern Ireland. So how the hell am I supposed to build up auditions and feature in serious films or series? Honestly though, please do comment if you have any tips or opportunities.

Another reason I am stuck is because I often wonder, what if I am wasting my life? I am not trying to rub this in people’s face, but I get good grades in school. I work hard, I am well behaved in school. And when I think about dropping out I get anxious that I am wasting my hard work by not putting it to use and ‘helping the world’ in some way. The thing is, I am not smart. I am just book smart. I have to revise for all my exams. I work hard but still forget so much stuff. I am not like others who just remember stuff and can do great things. All I can do is revise, but I hate it. It literally makes me scared though to think of dropping out and missing so many experiences and becoming lonely. What if I miss all that and don’t even get anywhere with my life. When I tell you I can NOT end up in a 9 to 5 job, I mean it. That just would not work for the type of person I am. I can’t put into words the anxiety of dropping out though. Not really about jobs and money, but about what I could be throwing away. What if I should do this or that because I am ‘smart. What if I could of made a difference or gone into a really important job. I just don’t know what that is. I am literally getting stressed thinking about it, but I don’t want to let my parents down by throwing away the knowledge that they have given me. This talent to learn that others would want. I know that sound stuck up but I feel bad for misusing my intelligence and ability to revise.

My last point for today, about how I feel stuck in my decision is just the whole formality of it. I don’t want to live a life where I go to school, go to uni, get a job, retire, and then die. I don’t want to be in debt my whole life with the bills I have to pay for my uni which got me working a repetitive job which means nothing to me. I want to be able to be financially free. I don’t want a job. I want a career. A way of life that I love. Where I don’t hate Mondays. I work because I want to, not because I have to. I want to have a family and be free and enjoy my life. But for me I feel like uni would stop that. As though I would step into the school gates and be locked behind a bars of debt forever. Never getting where I need to be. Always worrying about paying the electricity bill. I just don’t know why people have made uni such a ‘need to do’ part of life. I don’t want to be dragged down by this. I don’t know what I will do without it but I can’t have that stress of revision and thoughts about my future in my life. How would I be able to handle such important tests, meeting new people, going to parties. But then again I am scared to miss that.

Over all, I am just scared.

Thank you for reading that and I hoped that other people related to that and now know that they aren’t alone. These are hard decisions and it sucks we have to make them at such a young age. Please like, follow, and donate some money so I can keep all of my content free for everyone. I also have some great promo codes for you and a great app that I found for earning extra money. I love you all and hope you know that it will all be worked out eventually. It may be hard, but you will get their. Just stay the bad bitch you are PERIODT.


The app Honeygain. This is a safe and legit app I found that earns you money while you sleep. It is a great form of passive income and if you click this link you even get a little money when you start.

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What To Expect When Starting High School – Story Time Part 2

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It has been a week since I posted the part 1 so go check that out now and come back to this one after, I mean if you want, I guess it doesn’t really matter. Here is the link anyways – Part one. Anyways, let’s get into it. Last time I talked mostly about the teachers and the other people in the school, this time I am going to talk more about the work and tests.

Homework

Right, so when going from primary school to secondary school, you are gonna see a bit of a change. There won’t be any cut ‘n’ sticks, or any colouring in. It’ll be more like essays, tears and bullshit. I remember when I was in first year and I was guiding some parents around for the new year coming in soon and they were like ‘so what would you say the homework is like in first year, is there a lot? Is it hard?’ and I just looked at them like what the fuck am I supposed to say to that :/. This was the quickest I have thought in my lifetime, and I was like ‘it’s alright. I mean of course there is more than in primary school but the teachers are understanding if you have an excuse to hand it in later’. Bitch my acting was on point. That whole line was as fake as the girls in my year. I mean I was impressed by myself. Although don’t stress guys, it is literally the first year and they only put stress on you to see how good you really are. To be honest, a majority of them were drawing posters. Like no joke, the amazon rain forest was quaking with the amount of paper I had to use. So I guess it is a transition period in terms of homework. Personally I would recommend to not get too stressed about homework because as long as it hand it in on the day, they will think you are great. And besides, if you don’t do so well, it won’t go towards anything. Just use this year as a way to find out who you are and how you work best. For me, and this is gonna sound nerdy, I do my homework the day I get them. I have done that since the day I started and it helps me not get too stressed and I definitely recommend but I guess it depends on your lifestyle. As you can probably tell, I was not too social but we move.

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Exams

I am gonna have to be honest, the first year exams are not as laid back as the 2nd year ones. This is only because in the first year you kinda want to make an impression but in 2nd year you don’t need any of the grades and nobody really cares how you do. And you need to know that the first year stuff may seem really hard now, but trust me, in the future you will know it like the back of your hand. By third year, I didn’t even have to look at the first-year stuff because we did it so much. You will get sick of it, to be honest, but you gotta do what you gotta do. For me, I was stressing for all of the exams and literally was too worried about them. If I could tell my younger self something I would definitely tell them that your social life and mental health and 100 times more important than schoolwork. I mean you can’t be good at everything. A few bad grades don’t mean anything, especially when you are having a fun time. Anyways, on exam week, I do have to tell you, the school feels like a completely different place. I mean I would come into school as though it was my first day again and I was proper sweating as though this determined my life. By the way, it does fuck all for your future. Oh and also, I don’t know why but no matter how much you eat on the day of the exams, your stomach will be rumbling or making weird digestion noises. Yes they are very embarrassing and in third year I would literally be shaking the whole room. Don’t ask me why that happens but just know that it happens to the best of us.

Class Work

OK, so for the last comment in today’s ‘what to expect’, let’s talk about the actual work in class. Here is just a pre-warning. Your back will become deceased. Maybe not at the start of the year, but at the end you will have back problems so make use of a locker if you can. It may seem inconvenient but use it because all the older years who may not get one are very jealous and, to be respectful, I would use it. You will miss it when it is gone. Chances are you will also get folders for all of your classes, and yes this will make you feel very grown-up, but don’t let it get to your head. Holding them in your arms, even though you have room in your bag, does not make you look cool. When you are older you will get massive ones called lever arch files that actually way a tone and you physically can’t put them in your bag. Trust me, we don’t want to be holding them, and we won’t judge you for not holding a file, I mean, if anything, we envy you. But to the actual work now. The things you are learning now are gonna be retaught for at least the next three years of your life. You can take that as a reassurance that it doesn’t really matter if you don’t understand it now, or you can just take it as a warning for boredom. You will be learning stuff on top of that obvious but they will be talked about a lot. A majority of the work is OK but I think the hardest thing is that you have so many more subjects than just Maths, English and PE. For some, you will find awesome subjects that you love, and for others, you will find subjects that you detest and sleep in. That’s OK because you are just trying to find the ones you are interested in. In my first year of school we had to do Latin, don’t ask me why, but I would nearly cry every time from the sheer boredom. I mean I find a lot of subjects useless already, but learning a dead language was next-level pain. So overall, I just want to get you to know that, this year is going to be scary and hard for a lot of you but please don’t get too scared because when you look back on it you are gonna laugh at all the things you thought or did. Let yourself make those mistakes, or memories as I like to call them, and just remember that it will all get better. And take that from me, a person who had a really really tough time in my first year. If you wanna read more about it you can read it here. This year will pass and it will be different for many, but no matter what you know or don’t know yet, you will eventually catch up with everyone. I remember we would do wee quizzes that everyone did well in, everyone except me, but the first year, I would say, is mostly about getting everyone to the same level. Try not to get too stressed and know that you can comment any struggle you are having, or have had, on this post, or dm me on Instagram @periodtblogs

Thank you so much for reading this. Don’t forget to like, follow and donate some money because I really want to make all of my content free for everyone. Also go check out the discount codes I have for awesome shops. Hope you have a great year in school and try not to fit in too much, just be yourself and others will follow PERIODT.


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Zoom

Lately, I feel like the zoom classes have been as much of an emotional roller coaster as me. I mean, it is intimidating really. I mean I have felt almost everything on these zoom calls

Sadness

So this one is a given. I mean of course I am never going to go on a class happy. That is not what they intended. The most boring part of the day is now done in the most boring way. I mean at least in school I had someone to talk to when I am not bothered to learn, but now I only have the wall to stare at when I am not bothered to learn. I mean they really took the saying ‘I may as well be talking to a wall to a whole new level. Like damn. Every morning I just lie there for a second like ‘fuck’. You know. Another day of boredom. And I am in my GCSE years so I still have a full day of classes and they expect me to deal with it. Em no thank you. Scrolling down to the link, clicking on it, then staring at your teacher in a small cube is one of the saddest things I could do. No joke, at some points I do that wee office thing where you just stare of into the distance as though there is a camera, and in my head I’m like ‘what the fuck is happening’

Anger

I don’t know if I have cried more from anger or sadness but literally google classroom and zoom just don’t decide to work sometimes. Like I will have to click the link 5 times before it actually comes up. Thank god I have my camera off because I would come in looking like I just washed my face with an acid. It do be very red. And it is even more annoying when you have a bloody squeaky chair (if you did not catch on, my chair is squeaky) and for every move you make the chair goes like SQQssuUUeeJJJkkYYyyqq. I literally threaten to punch my chair as though I am five and then my teacher keeps buffering and expecting us to know everything she just said even though zoom just cancelled the most important part of the course. Don’t even get me started about when the teacher just waits for an answer. I mean they just will wait the whole hour until someone says ‘yes’ and I am here like ‘YOU ARE GOING TO FUCKING MAKING US DO THIS FOR HOMEWORK’ and they just sitting there like a raisin with their lips pursed and their arms crossed. I mean get over yourself. Half of us probably aren’t even in the room right now.

Accurate??????

Embarrassment

Why is it that every time I get asked to answer a question I get it wrong? I mean it is so much worse because everything is so dramatized. The awkward pause when you first answer, everyone is only concentrated on me, they know it was me, I don’t know what to say. Like this happened to me the other day, I got the answer wrong and he paused and was like ‘no. How did you get that?’ and I literally was like ’em, I don’t know’. When I tell you I died inside, I was literally deceased. Decaying. It was so bad. And it was a large class too. To be honest I am still recovering and I was talking to my friend after about how embarrassing that was and she said she was proper laughing at me. Let’s just say, I will forever just say my mic is not working.

LOL what is this picture

Fear

There are so many scary parts in the day. Forgetting to sign in even though you were at the class. Accidentally using the wrong email. Going on the zoom first. The teacher going to ask someone a question. The silence when nobody answers. When you hand in work one minute late. When you want to answer but don’t know if someone else is gonna answer or if the teacher will. When your teacher goes to shout at their kids. When your teacher gives a lecture about not talking. I mean the list could go on. But let’s talk about when teachers are gonna call on someone. In school you can at least see if the teacher is looking in your direction. You can look away. Look as though you don’t know or are still working on it. But on zoom, you have no clue where you are on their screen, you can’t look away because your camera isn’t even on and it is just an overall nightmare. And then if they do pick you, you may be lagged so don’t know if it was you or someone with a similar name. Then when you go to answer you literally can’t even turn on the mic and the whole class is silent. I mean someone could write a short horror movie about that. And then at the end you get the answer wrong and then the movie just ends with ‘KO’ or something like that. I do be getting anxiety in those calls.

Boredom

So I just felt like this had to be addressed even though it is obvious. 2 years ago I would say, the school could not get any worse. That bitch was dumb. I could not have been further from the truth. All-day I click come buttons, talk to myself, and just sit. I mean this is basically an office job, right? Although I guess it has given me the motivation to not end up in an office job. No offence to anyone, it is just I know that will not be the job for me. I prefer to be out and about. Besides, my back has literally died and I can’t deal with that all my life. No wonder my parents always have a sore back. The whole day I just want to sleep. I mean nothing is actually going into my brain. Then I start to focus on dumb things. Especially when they don’t even get us to write anything down. I’m like, bro, let me just sign off, go to be, and not wake up until corona is over.

Happiness *delete this later*

Stress

This is a given with school in general I suppose but these guys give the most unreasonable time to complete a task. And then even if I get it handed in slightly late, google classroom comes up with the ‘MISSING‘ and I literally get scared. They probably don’t give a crap though. Although sometimes they do be giving passive-aggressive messages that I don’t know how to respond to. We move though. The fact they literally expect us to work so fast too. Like they have the question up for one second and they expect us all to be done. No babes, my brain lags like the screen I am looking at. It is stressful when you get on the call late because you are like ‘are they going to literally call me out’ but then when you realise nobody is talking you have this moment of serenity. Well, nearly all the time. One time I went on late and it was all quiet but then a few minutes later I realised my speakers just weren’t working and I couldn’t hear her for the whole lesson. That was not ideal.

Tiredness

You have to admit it guys. There are days where you go onto class in your PJ’s and just fall asleep to the sound of their voice. It really makes you think about how many of them should not have become teachers because they literally have no tone in their voice. To be honest, even at the end of the day I am tired, and the middle, and… all of it. I am pretty sure I heard that it has something to do with the lack of sun. So if I ever go to take a day off school, I am just doing it for my health. *mean while it is raining pretty much everyday*. My eyes are literally so heavy though that someone could mistake me for being high. Like I look so awful and pale. I guess I can’t really say much has changed. It is so hard during classes like English or math or, well, any of them, because it is too much effort to care. I really don’t see the point. We are going through a pandemic, people dying everywhere, the world falling apart, yet I am here in front of my computer learning about the effect of punctuation or how to find out how much one lolly costs when I bought 7 lollies for £1.70. Like I don’t care for god sake. The shop will bloody tell me that.

Confusion

Sometimes I look at my screen like I just saw my teacher transform into a cat. Maybe that is because I don’t go to Hogwarts but I mean I just get so confused. In class people would ask questions and they would explain it slower but at home they just decide to not explain anything and I am here like, ‘I lost you at good morning’. But it is when they try to explain what we are doing in the day and in the future and then they go onto what they had for breakfast and how her cat has corona or something. And I just look at her like what does that word mean. It happened to me in Spanish the other day. The teacher typed out what we should for the day, in English by the way, and I swear I had a stroke while reading it or something because I had no clue what to do. No joke, I nearly gave up. I just, give up with school in general, to be honest. LOL

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed and related to this. If you did, don’t for get to like, subscribe and donate some money so that I can keep all of my content free for everyone. Every little helps I guess. But hang in there because it will end eventually, I hope, and you can go outside and show the world the bad bitch you are PERIODT.

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What To Expect When Starting High School – Story Time Part 1

Why does this make me sound like a viral blogger. Part 1 lol. There are many things that you learn when you go into high school. Some expected things and some… unexpected things. And now you are gonna learn about some of them in the form of a story. Although I wont tell you everything because there are some things you need to learn for yourself.


The Hard Truth

So when you I went into high school, I think it would be accurate to say that I became very self-conscious. I mean, at some points I felt completely ignored, and at others I felt like I couldn’t get the eyes of me (p.s. I know they weren’t looking at me because of my looks, trust me). Everyone looked like an absolute giant and it was weird because you came from being the ‘old, mature’ ones in primary school to being the ‘weird, tiny’ ones in high school. My sister had been in 3rd year by this point, so therefore she was in the last of her annoying years. (yes there are the annoying years 1,2 and 3). But I would be like why are you always so mean to me in school. Like I would literally walk to my class alone or breathe near her and she would shove me and laugh at me. Now, don’t expect this from everyone, don’t worry, it was only that she is my sister so don’t worried about being pushed… on purpose anyways. Me and my friends always would play out in the ‘playground’ as though it was still primary school. I mean we never ran, we knew that much, but we had different phases of just being loud and obnoxious. At one point we also played with bouncy balls, yes I know, don’t judge me. But that was what everyone, in my year, would be loving. And there is a 1st year garden that is literally the worst thing. We thought we were all so special because we had our own private area. No. Just no. It was technically like a zoo exhibit. Everyone looking in at you. And no, they are not jealous. I am now in 5th year, nearly in lower 6th, and I know now that everyone in any of the years above will not like you. Now I am sorry to say that and it is nothing personal, it is just, stereotypically, 1st years are bloody annoying. Like, it is just something about them. No matter what they do, breathe, walk, look at you, you just find it aggravating. But the good thing about that is that you can use it to your advantage. No matter what you do, they will find you annoying, so, just use this year to do what you want and learn what is ‘acceptable’ in your school. It is different for every school but there are certain things you will get bullied about. But don’t worry that people will remember what stuff you did because they wont remember. They all have better things to think about, well, unless what you did is really embarrassing, but eventually nobody will really care. As long as you start to mature and know your place in the school, the others wont bother you and will start to judge the new ones. And trust me, you will look back on yourself and be like, I cannot believe I did that. How was I not beat up? But then you laugh and move on. So does everyone else. I can’t really remember a single embarrassing thing anyone else has done even though everyone has done something. So use this year to your advantage I suppose and try not to take anyone too seriously. They don’t know you so it isn’t personal.

Have I Mentioned The Teachers?

Damn, this one is tough. You know what, I could probably just cut and past the last paragraph. I am sorry but… the teachers hate 1st years too. But it is so funny because some hide it better than others. One of my math teachers would shout at us so much. No matter what we did, she would hate it. But then one day this 5th year came into our class and was having a conversation and asking what she would like for lunch as though they were best mates. I swear to god that woman changed in a flash. I watched him leave in awe. How the hell did he like her? How did he not get shouted at? And this was one of the teachers who puts their had on their desks, looks up slowly while taking their glasses of and screams. Yup. I was so shocked. But now, I don’t have her as my teacher, but some of my friends do and they literally say she is so nice. Like it is so weird. It is as though 1st years give off a bad smell, which you don’t, that just makes everyone mad. It is funny. My geography teacher is the nicest man on the earth and he gets on so well with all of the older students. But you should see him when he talks about the 1st years he just had. Like he just looks so frustrated and for no reason. And then for the teachers who seem like they like you. Maybe some of them do. I am sure there are teachers out their who like 1st years. But look, when you get older and become friendlier with the teachers, they tell you stuff. They just show another side of themselves that you never saw a few years ago. I remember my class was talking to a teacher once and they were saying how they can’t handle the 1st years and we were like ‘awk, well you loved us didn’t you?’ and she just made a face and moved on. Yeah, it really hits you how annoying you used to be. But I guess it is probably because you are still wired to the primary school way of living, and trust me, they didn’t teach primary school for a reason. It may take some longer to get wired to the high school life, but you’ll get their eventually and you wont be so scared of some of the teachers. Did you know they actually are humans too and actually are funny and kind :0 ? Wow, who would have thought.

So that is all I am going to warn you about today, but make sure to like and follow so you don’t miss the next parts coming out soon. Trust me, you will need to hear this. But just remember guys that everyone goes through this and it is all part of the process. Please donate some money to keep my content free for everyone and enjoy everyday as it comes because you don’t realize you are in the good days until you have left them PERIODT.


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Why We Need To Change Exams And The School System

I know this is gonna sound really over dramatic for everyone and all adults are gonna be like ‘well your just saying that because you are too lazy to revise’. Well guess what Karen, it isn’t just for that reason. Let me educate you with 5 Ws


Who

These tests are being given to young people who are supposed to be ‘our future’, yet we bash them so hard that they have no confidence in themselves to do great things. I am not sure if anyone else has heard of this statistic, but the average teen has the same level of anxiety as a psych ward patient in the 1960’s. I don’t know about you but that doesn’t sound right to me. As a teen, I don’t see the point of making us prepare for the future if you make us all feel as though we wont have one if we don’t know how to work out the area of a triangle. Not only have we been affected by work but also the media which means we have so much more to worry about. I mean how much of an impact can we make if we are all depressed. Because that is how tests make us feel. Some of us don’t seem very phased my a bad grade and, although I can’t speak for all of you, we do care about it and it does affect us. Just sometimes we are scared to be smart and I know how that sounds but I think it is more of a peer pressure thing. And for the people who always do well in exams, the person who gets upset if they don’t get 90% or above. They too are struggling. They feel so stressed by revising all the time and never feeling good enough. Why do we waste our lives and our minds in order to get a big A on a piece of paper. How can we rule our whole life of of our school life. A teen, not fully understanding what they are doing in life, yet have so much pressure to make the right decisions. And for what, to get into uni, to get into debt, to get a 9 to 5 job and work for someone else until we retire and die. Is that what you call success? They say that when you are born you are only scared of 2 things, the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. So at what point did the fear of failure, the fear of embarrassment, the fear of the future, come into play? Maybe it was from home life? But people with a good family life still have these fears, right? So what do we all share in common? School. Tests. Essays. Have all adults been brainwashed since they left school because even though we are ‘the future’, you guys are the present and you need to fix this now.

What

School is defined as ‘an institution for educating children’. That sounds all nice and appropriate. An exam is defined as ‘an official test that shows your knowledge or ability in a particular subject’. Lovely, right. Well from the looks of it yes, but I think they left something out at the end of the school definition, ‘an institution for education children in one way despite the range of learning abilities‘, and in the exam definition, ‘an official test that shows your knowledge or ability in a particular subject that will depend on their future even though it doesn’t suit everyone’s strengths and abilities and causes mental illnesses‘. Yeah that definitely sounds more accurate to me. If you look at how cars or phones have evolved, you can see such a difference. But when you look at school, the only thing different are the pupils.

See how better the new car is. Completely changed
Only difference here are the uniforms

The point I am trying to make here is that school were made to teach us how to work in factories. How to live in the old world. But now the world has modernized. There are so many other job opportunities other than being a house wife or a coal miner. Why is is that. We have become so much more knowledgeable about the world and how people work, yet you can’t put into play the facts that you discovered about the way everyone learns differently. The thing that is most annoying is that you put so much money towards pointless things and then give scraps to the schools. It doesn’t make any sense at all. Schools need to catch up with the rest of the world

Where

To be honest I don’t really have anything to complain about, well for me anyways. I mean I get to see my friends. I guess all I would have to say is that the schools aren’t well funded enough to get great heating and furnishing. It usually is freezing although that isn’t the same for all of us.

When

I know that school times are different in many places. In the UK it starts at 9.20 am and ends at 3.45 pm. I think that in the US they go to school at like 7 am, although I am not that sure, and I have no clue what time you get back home at. Did you know that teenagers have evolved to have different body clocks. We are wired to go to bed later and wake up later because back in the days we were not old enough to hunt but not young enough to just lie around all day so they were made to stay up late to make sure nothing was about to eat them when they were asleep. Now, I am not saying that we should move school to really late and then get out really late because that is not any better. What I think is that school in general shouldn’t be so long. 6 hours everyday just to go home, do more homework, go to bed and repeat. It is almost impossible to do well in school and have a good social life. We are either exhausted from school or we have been bombarded with homework. It always hits harder during winter as well. We go to school just as the sun is going up and then we get home when it is nearly dark. We send more of our time under florescent light rather than the sun. We spend most of the time staring out the window rather than being outside. We hardly get any fresh air because school takes up so much of our life. My spine is never happy with me because I sit on uncomfortable chairs 24/7 with a heavy schoolbag that can’t even fit all my books. How am I supposed to learn anything about the ‘real world’ if I am not even allowed into it. We go to school for the majority of months each year and although we do have breaks, 5 days a week is so exhausting. The fact that dreading Mondays is normal is not OK because we should all be excited for everyday. We should spend our short life on this earth doing what we want everyday. And the fact it happens in the younger years of our lives is so sad. From day one of school you are getting stressed for work, for grades, for classes. No 10 year old should feel that way, they should be running around outside writing stories, songs, positions.

Why

So an over all reason for why we should change the way school works and how exams play a role in our lives is because they are just so ridiculous. I really can’t put into the words the fear I have for the future generations because if it keeps going the way it is, they are all going to be mentally ill by the age of 8 or younger. How can we let this happen. These were things that we made ourselves so we didn’t always need them. Why can’t we just encourage kids to go to schools. Tell them what classes they can go to and they can make their own decision without the pressure of ‘chose wisely because this is your future’. Of course there will have to be some sort of structure but we need to adapt it to the modern world. Not everyone sits at a desk all day. Not everyone should be expected to learn hundreds of new things every day. I mean it doesn’t make sense. Why should everything ride of of an exam we did 10 years ago. We could of had a bad day and not done well in the subject that we love. We all get so scared that we wont be able to do something we are passionate about because we can’t do tests very well. You expect so much from us yet you wouldn’t be able to do it yourself. Why do we stuff our faces with utter wastes of time to just forget it all in the future. I am going to ask you some questions that I am doing in school now and, for any adults, I would like you to answer them and see if you remember anything about it. Obviously, if you are specialized in one of these areas you will know the answer but anyways. What is a surd? Label the structure of a leaf. Tell me why the poem ‘Belfast confetti’ has a full stop. What types of clouds are there, how high up are they and what do they produce or show about the weather? And finally, name all of the causes of the great depression? Well? Could you do it? Not even a bit? If you could? Would you be able to do it under pressure and in around 10-15 minutes? If you can’t, don’t worry. You aren’t dumb. Obviously you just don’t need to use these in your daily life. But I just want to show you how ridiculous some of the things we learn are. And just like us, you may have felt a bit pressured and made to feel stupid. Yes, that is how most of us feel, but on a larger scale and everyday. And the thing is that now you can go off and live your life. Nobody is going to go to you and say you are so stupid, because you don’t need to know that. They would say ‘what are you worrying about? You don’t need to know this’. Yeah, that is exactly what I am trying to get across. Why waste my time on unimportant facts instead of figuring out how to pay taxes, do an interview, buy a house? It just sounds so ridiculous and then we get told that ‘these are the best years of your life’. :0 Excuse me, I hope the fuck it’s not. If my life only gets worse from here then I haven’t got any reason to live. And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is the mindset of a teen. What do you think?

Just remember guys, hang in there because it is gonna be a bumpy ride but we got this PERIODT.


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Make It Make Sense


If you follow my blog, which you obviously should because duh, then you will have read my past post about the literal bloody history they are making us do on a day off, and yes I am still pissed about it. Well, I did it this morning and even though I did(n’t) cheat, It was fucking hard and I barely got it finished. No joke, in basically every history class they are like ‘YoU gUyS WonT hAVe EnOuGh TiMe To dO tHiS JuSt So YoU kNoW’. And I am here just looking at them blankly like ‘WELL THEN WHY THE HELL DON’T YOU GIVE US MORE TIME!’ and that is what I want to talk about today, unhealthy expectations in school.

So let me rant a bit more about this whole history crap. On the first day of GCSE history class my teacher literally was like ‘hey guys, welcome to history, so I just want to talk about your exams. You will only have 45 minutes for the USA section. Now, to put that into perspective, this paper was usually given 1 hour to complete and students struggled to do it in that time. Now lets go onto economic boom.’ Bitch back the fuck up. What went through your mind to think, oh they struggle to finish in the time, suck it up and do it in less time. Like what the hell. And no, they didn’t shorten the paper. It is the same bloody length. I be looking across the room to see if anyone else just heard this crap like :0 and they be acting like it is no big deal. And if you don’t do history or are from america, we do not getting bloody multiple choice questions for any of our classes. We have to learn the work word for word and we cant just have a bloody guess. In English we are given an hour to write and essay. In history we are given 45 minutes for an essay plus 4 other, kind of big, questions. I don’t give a fuck how Ford created the assembly line in 1913. Anyways, rant over.

What I am trying to say is that the schooling system, in the UK at least, is so unfair. I mean how the hell do you expect me to learn, word for word, decades of history, the freaking essence of a leaf, while working out the meaning of life, Like I can’t do that shit. I can barely do my times tables bitch. Every time I get up in the morning and pack my bag, which only holds a max of 3 folders, if I want to look like a first year, so I have to hold 2 massive ones around with me, I actually do that hysteric laugh. You know the one where you are just like what the fuck is going on with this world and you have nothing else to do but just laugh through the pain. I swear to god my back be squished as hell. School really do be stunting my growth. But back to the school work. How the hell do they want me to study 9 different topics, in depth, while doing homework, having a life, and then doing tests that go towards my FUTURE, in only a couple of weeks. Like my teachers be here teaching one subject and are like ‘guys. I know how you feel. I just had to mark 20 essays throughout the past 2 months that I set my students for the next day. You are heard’. And I’m like OK miss audacity, who gave you the right to complain about something you did to yourself. Go back home bitch, you can’t relate.

Do you know what doesn’t make sense to me? When teachers at the start of the year are like ‘hey guys, I am a cool teacher. I don’t like giving out homework.’ and then they end up being the ones to give me the most homework and they just sit there thinking they are so ‘cool’ and ‘relatable’. Bitch, get your feet of the desk and tell the bloody truth. We are getting lied to enough in this world and we don’t need more of this ~foolery~ interrupting out lives. Just tell the truth, oh my god. I don’t really see the point of homework anyways but that is besides the point. They literally put so much pressure on it as though it is going to decide your future. They shout at you when you don’t finish it for the day because ‘of course you have time to do it. You just don’t care’ and then when someone is reported to have really bad mental health they are like ‘guys you can always talk to me. I only want the best for you.’. And we are like it is too late for you to be switching up the truth you two faced bitch. MAKE IT MAKE SENSE. Give us a break for god sake and stop complaining about marking the homework that YOU SET. I don’t care about how you were up until like 6pm with a glass of red wine because I was up until 10pm, which is decent for my age group, with a bloody head ache. If you keep saying you understand us then why do you keep making our lives a living hell.

But literally though, can any teachers please tell me why you set us out to fail. Of course in some tests you want to make us think a bit about what we learned. I understand that. But why do you deliberately try to trick us and then call us out. If I am studying plants then don’t expect me to know what is the surface area of an atom. I don’t know and I didn’t have to so don’t link it to the subject in some bizarre way like ‘well plants are made up of atoms so really it is your fault.’. What is this? A fucking play ground. It is like when that one kid says ‘you know the word pizza? How do you spell it’ and then they would be like ‘AHAHAHA I TOLD YOU TO SPELL IT, NOT PIZZA’ like seriously though. Stop expecting us to know everything when we clearly don’t know and don’t care.

For my final point, for this post at least, is, why do you expect us to respect you if you don’t respect us. Not everyone goes into a class with the aim of hating a teacher. It is when you abuse your power, shout at us all the time, and treats us like children in this place where half of us do not want to be. You have to know that we wont always be in a good mood and we know you wont as well. But if we don’t really feel like speaking in class, don’t make us. You always tell us to be quiet but when we are you don’t like that. OK, if we don’t speak for a few classes then you should go talk to them, but in private. Don’t embarrass them. They may just need a bit of help. Some teachers get on really well with their students because the actually achieve their promises. They understand what we go through, they listen, the help, they try hard to mix in real life with the life of school. They know we don’t all want to be there but they have made it less of a burden. These are the teachers who were born to teach. They don’t put the stress of their personal lives onto the students. They don’t expect them to complete everything on a strict time plan and they definitely do not care that you don’t know anything. In fact, that just makes them excited to teach you something new.

Anyways to conclude, the school system is a mess. People need to stop putting so much pressure on everyone. And you all need to follow, like and donate some money to support my blog.

Thank you for reading and I hoped you enjoyed. And remember, the real learning starts outside of school PERIODT.


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This Was The Worst Year Of My Life So Far, But Where Am I Now

The first year of high school. This was in 2016 I think, but it was the worst year of my life. I want to post on here to see if anyone else can relate or to show them that it will get better.

I remember the first day of school, I was nervous because everything was so new and I had no clue what to expect. The only person I knew was my twin and I was so lucky to have her there because I don’t know where I would be today if she had not been there with me. To be honest, I don’t think I spoke to anybody else for the first couple of days. Everyone was so loud and outgoing. They seemed to know everyone so well, yet I couldn’t gather up the courage to say hello to the person beside me. I remember going home that day exhausted, holding back tears and wondering how I could spend the next 7 years of my life in this hell whole.

It wasn’t until a couple days in until me and my twin finally mustered up the courage to ask a group of girls whether or not we could sit next to them. They were all nice and said yes so we sat with them and I ended up sitting next to them for the rest of the year. Not for one second did I think they actually liked me though. I thought that they were too nice to say anything, they found me annoying and ugly. I thought that they just liked my twin and I was the annoying sister that tagged along. They all seemed so beautiful, confident and smart and then there was just me. Even at one point, my twin was in the same class as one of them and they said ‘at least I have one of my friends in my class’ and I still didn’t believe they like me. Even though they literally said it out loud that they saw me as a friend. My brain just could not accept it.

Every night, for what seemed like half the school year, I would cry in my room at night. And I know that sounds so ridiculous but I did because I was so scared for the next day. I was scared I would fail school. I was scared I would never make a friend. I literally couldn’t help it. My mum would come into my room most nights, seeing me crying and I felt like such a nuisance. I mean who cries in high school right. I can’t describe to you the fear and hurt I had. I had no clue how I could move on from that. I truly believed my life would be like that forever and I hated myself so much for that. One time in biology class, on of my friends saw that I was nearly in tears and she asked me how I was. Like genuinely asked as though she cared about me. How weird is that right? I swear to god though, 2016 me was worse at taking hints than a man. I mean they just flew right past me.

I am going to leave the rest of the depressing stuff because, well, you can get the jist of how terrible it was. Traumatizing some may say. But lets go onto the present. Yes, it has gotten better, and you better believe it.

You know that group of girls I was talking about, the ones I sat next to during lunch. Well, yeah, 5 years on and they have been my best friends throughout high school. No drama, just great, caring, reliable friends. There is only 5 of us in our group, including me and my twin, so it is quite small to be honest, but I know them so well. We get on like we have known each other forever and I wouldn’t trade them for the world. One of my favorite quotes is ‘what would you rather? 2 pound coins or 200 pennies? The 2 pound coins obviously. Each one is so much more valuable. It doesn’t take up so much room and they are more useful to me. Where as, if you got 200 pennies you would always be losing them or giving them away. They take up so much room and each one is worth nothing. They don’t matter much. Replace the money with friends. Would you rather 2 great friends that you adore and get along with so well, or 200 acquaintances? Yes you could say they are all your friends, but you don’t know them all that well. You lose some, throw them away. The don’t mean a lot to you. So eventually you are left with 1 or 2 who you don’t really like and maybe someday you will have 0. Always appreciate your close friends.’. I love that quote so much because it is so true. I was always so fixated on becoming popular, having the most followers on Instagram, knowing everybody. I was so sad that I never had that. For years I had to accept that I wasn’t one of the ‘popular kids’. But now I know that that doesn’t matter. I am never going to lose these friends and they are such an important part of my life now.

As for the other parts of school life, I don’t cry at night… not for those reasons anyways. I get decent grades. I have friends. Sure I still get the same thoughts at points but they are less frequent now. So many things change and if you are in the same position that I was in now, just know that it is OK to feel that way. I have felt similarly and it is so much better now, trust me. It may take a while but it is part of the process. It is just going to make you appreciate what you have in the future more. I am so sorry if you are going through this and if you are please dm me on Instagram (@period_t1) and you can talk to me about it.

Thank you so much for reading this and I hope you found it beneficial for yourself or gave you a better understanding of how others may feel. Make sure to be kind to everyone. Start a conversation because you never know, they could be your best friend. Just be yourself and don’t let anyone take you for granted PERIODT.

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