I Hate Genes

To any foetus child out there who is like what the fuck are genes, basically they are the characteristics that we get from our parents and they make up who we are and what we look like. For example, I inherited my dad’s white ass Irish skin which burns like a bitch whenever a bloody tea light goes within 1 mile of it. So it’s not ideal. I also inherited his lack of eyebrows which shocked me, but you couldn’t tell because you couldn’t see my eyebrows expressions. I slightly blame my twin for that because, although it is probably scientifically impossible, I believe she robbed them from me in the womb. Unfortunately that doesn’t stand well in court so I never got back what is rightfully mine smh

I do have blonde hair which really is the only thing going for me but it is going darker and I resent that but it is what it is. Oh and I forgot to mention, I swear my twin stole my teeth because I have two missing and she’s a bit sus if you ask me. She isn’t little miss perfect after all. When she dies I swear I’ll find a long note releasing the truth. I don’t know why she would do it but like it meant that for 13 years of my life I looked like your crazy young cousin whose only personality trate is losing their teeth. And now I have fake teeth that I sometimes think will fall out. IM FUCKING 16 YEARS OLD YET I’LL LITERALLY HAVE FAKE TEETH DRILLED IN MY MOUTH AT 18. I remember one time when I had to put my fake teeth in my retainers and one day I forgot them for some dumb fucking reason and I was like dad we need to turn back and he was like no. The trauma this man caused right then was astronomical but he didn’t give a shit. I kid you not, I had to spend that whole day trying not to smile with my teeth or talk to anyone but then in one of my classes I forgot and smiled at someone and they looked at me like what the fuck and then was like “where have your teeth gone”. Keep in mind I was 13-14 so all my teeth should have fallen out and grown back so it was weird. I also regret this moment because I could have pranked them so easily by acting scared and going “oh my god where the hell did they go” but no I had to really say “I forgot them at home”. I FORGOT THEM AT HOME! What the actual fuck. No teen should have to say that they left their teeth at home. I am still recovering from that chat.

But back to what I wanted to talk about today. My pale ass skin. I kid you not, I only have two different options. White as fuck or red as fuck. Yesterday I thought I would switch it up a bit so I got burnt to a crisp. I regret it. Why do I never learn. I literally thought I could wish my way into going tan but instead I look like a fucking stop sign. It was dumb how it happened though because I must have forgotten to put suncream on like half of my legs and I didn’t realize. Like I knew my attention span was shit but I thought I could at least pay attention to this. So I had work after and I was basically cooking the meals on my legs cause they were burning so much and then when I took them off later I thought I was turning into Elmo because those bitches were RED. I basically bathed them in aloe Vera and cried because I am now currently on the way to a beach where the general public are and they can see my bright ass legs. Everyone also seems to have to point them out. Like just when I stop thinking about it someone needs to pop out from the sky and go “OH MY GOD” literally like Janice from friends “YOU ARE GLOWING” and I look at them like no shit Sherlock. I didn’t realize that my legs could double as a flare to attract planes and a heater to toast our sandwiches. Leave me and my burns alone. And of course my twin fans. That cheeky bitch. How did I get the pale skin, invisible eyebrows, missing teeth AND the mental illness 😮

Anyways that is the post and I’m glad to get that off my chest. Please feel free to comment some things you inherited from your parents or whether you relate to some of the things I have. Have fun in the sun and don’t forget suncream bitches. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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“You look just like your dad”

Let’s play a quick game of never have I ever. Never. Have I ever needed to hear that. Never have I ever wanted to hear that. Never have I ever felt good after hearing that. Never have I ever gone to someone’s house and they didn’t say this. Never have I ever been more offended. But literally why do people think that it would be a good thing to say to a teenage girl that they look just like an old, balding, wrinkly, angry, sore backed man. Like seriously what the fuck made you say that. There was actually one time I went to my sisters boyfriends house for some reason and I had never seen his parents before but I kid you not, the first thing they said to me was “you look just like your dad”… what dumb fuckery is that because I didn’t even know he had seen them. Like what the hell. Needless to say, I never saw them again. Highly unappreciated to be honest with you.

The saddest thing is though is that I can see it. Like they aren’t wrong. Did they need to point that out though? No. But they aren’t wrong. One time at New Years there was this thing where you had to guess who was who from their childhood photos. Don’t ask why. But we just did. And I was looking around when my sister called me over and was like “look at this” and so I did. She covered the hair of my dads picture and was like “look”. This bitch really called me out because it literally looked exactly like me. Great start to the new year am I right. Like why the actual fuck did I have to inherit his non-existent eyebrows and his literal 5 head. Not appreciated father.

But yeah, I never get compared to as my Mum but like I guess looking like my dad, while embarrassing, let’s me know I am not adopted because as a child I would be like “Oh mY GoD iM aDoPteD” just because I the only one in my whole family that has blonde hair. What do you guys get compared to. Is there anything other than your parents you get compared to or maybe even a celebrity! The only celebrity I’ve been compared to is the bloody monster from the goonies. He is such a babe though I guess.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this post and make sure to like and comment below if you have anything else to add. I’ll see you tomorrow for more hopefully and I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


Weekly Reminder

I’ve heard a lot of people mention something that their therapist once told them to do. They said “the other day my therapist told me to look over at an empty chair and imagine child you sitting on it. They then asked me what I looked like and I said I looked happy and excited. They then told me to imagine that child me was going through the same thing that I am going through now. Again he asked what I looked like, and to that I said sad, lonely. And then my therapist said, what does he look like he needs, and all I could say was a hug”. I pretty much took that directly from a tiktok I saw, but I had heard other stories identical to that one.

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But it’s weird right. We never really look at ourselves that way. It also sometimes seems like we can give advice and support to our friends, but never actually do it ourselves. And it can be really difficult to see it in the way of younger you being in the same situation because it is just a child, but it is still you. And the therapists aim there was to harness what you actually need. What it is you need guidance on so they can help you. I suppose it is also so you can help yourself because you look at your situation as if you were observing your own life. I always find myself joking a lot about me ‘warning’ my younger self. Like if I were to look at a photo of baby me I would joke “she don’t know what the fucks gonna hit her” and I would say stuff like that at all times when talking about younger me or just kids in general. Like there was this one time when I was telling my friends about how my cousin said school sucked because his friend stole his pencil and I was like ‘ah to be 9 and your biggest problem being a pen. Just wait till he gets to high school’. So although I don’t directly say it, I am just dissing how crap my life is at the moment and how shit hits the fan by the time you start into high school. I am sure some of you guys do that at sometimes too because I feel it is a universal joke, especially for gen z’s because we usually use humour to hide how we feel.

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I guess why I wanted to mention this was because I want you to try it. If it isn’t too hard, I want you to look at an empty chair, or an empty space and imagine little you with the pain that you feel right now in their eyes and the same thoughts in their head. Would you treat them like you treat yourself now? Would you tell them they are attention seeking or dramatic? Would you tell them to just ‘disappear’ because they only cause harm? Or would you give them a hug. Hold them tight and tell them that it is going to be ok and you are going to be there for them through it out. Would you get them the help they need? Tuck them up in bed with a nice movie and a bowl of brownies and ice cream. Treat them the way they deserve and show them they are loved. Well, what would you do? You do all the first things to yourself I’m going to guess, but why? You wouldn’t do that to your younger self, but you are still that person. Make sure you look after yourself because although you may think this is ‘the real world’ and you need to just wise up, you are the most important thing in life and you need to look after yourself the way that you deserve. It may be difficult to do but please remember that you are human and life is tough and that’s ok as long as you take care of yourself. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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I’m not above a fight

See, I don’t really like it when people are cheeky to me. I mean you can be upfront and shout at me and I’ll be fine with that. My sisters have conditioned me to that. But if you are being passive aggressive or cheeky in front of me or behind my back, I won’t hesitate … Continue reading I’m not above a fight

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Weekly Reminder – You Are a Bad Bitch

The past couple of weeks my weekly reminders have been more low-key but this week I want to liven it up a bit you know. Like I want to remind you guys how absolutely awesome you are and how you should not give a fuck what other people think because you are the shit. So welcome to my TED talk bitches, let’s get it started.

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How many times this past week did you give a fuck? It’s ok if it’s a lot. Mine is quite a lot. Now, my task for you this week is to lower this right down. Let’s get it down to a half of the fucks you gave. So if you cared about what other’s thought of you etc. around 20 times, lets lower this to 10 times. It may seem like a stretch, but catch yourself when you start to care about what other’s are thinking because that wastes so much of your time and they don’t deserve that. I am not gonna say that life is short because it really fucking isn’t but despite that, you ain’t got any time to give away so stop wasting time on the people who don’t matter. And it is natural for people to make question what they wear or get a bit anxious, but just look at yourself in the mirror and talk to your reflection as though you are hyping up your best friend who is feeling the way you do. Tell your reflection that it is the most beautiful thing in the world and that nobody deserves you. Tell it that it shouldn’t give a fuck about what other’s think because they are the most important thing in the world and everyone else is just jealous. It may feel a bit awkward at first and I know that it will but that is how you should be talking to yourself anyways. You shouldn’t be your own worst enemy.

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I can tell that whoever is reading this right now is an absolute beast because, well, you are on the best blog in the world, but also because you are still here. Like how fucking badass is that. You are walking away from a fucking bomb that was 2020 and you may still be in the fire but you are still going. Pandemic? Got nothing on you. School? You can get through it. Life? That shit sucks but I’m getting there. I don’t think that you fully appreciate how awesome you are because I know that others or yourself may downplay what you go through, but by just thinking about this past year, I already know that you are literally elite. You are gonna be the cool grandparent or older person that gives all the best advice, is absolutely hilarious, has awesome stories about living in a pandemic (despite the fact we might oversell it to sound more dramatic), you are gonna change the world just by existing and some day you will walk down the street and know that, although others may not see it yet, you are a freaking star.

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I am not sure if any of you guys have heard this quote before by Mother Teresa. It is pretty good and I think about it every so often because it is so simple yet means so much. She says

"We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop ...
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Isn’t that quite good. Like it just shows that no matter how small you think your impact on the earth is, it is still significant. If you weren’t here there would be that much less than if you were. It all adds up and although you may not see it, every thing matters and if we lost you, we would be a you short. We would be missing a you and that will affect things. You are a part of a big thing and your presence is appreciated. I guess you could also link it to the butterfly effect where, if small thing happens like a butterfly flapping it’s wings, it leads to something bigger, like a hurricane. It may seem a bit weird, but it is true. If we missed a you then throughout the years life would be so different especially in the lives of the ones you love. Because you are here the world is so much different and I want you to know that you do have a meaning, you are so important, you do make an impact and your life does matter.

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Don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise because you are a blessing and you need to keep shinning because one day you will finally realise your strength and the world won’t seem so tough anymore. When you realise your worth, you won’t take any shit and you can live life they you want and make the decisions that make you the happiest I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Read some more posts

Train wreck of thought

I haven’t posted in a while, obviously, and I ain’t gonna explain why because it’s more boring than you think. It’s not like I went on a fucking trip to the Bahamas despite the fact I hope to go there some day if corona ever goes away. But anyways, a lot has happened like me … Continue reading Train wreck of thought

Makeup and Me

First of all, to the people who are in the comments right now saying “It’s makeup and I, not makeup and me” literally take you Hermione Granger ass outside or “I” will personally make Jeff Bezos land his fucking dick rocket on you. I mean would you slate Marley and Me for the grammar issue? … Continue reading Makeup and Me

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Weekly Reminder | Who Is The Baddest B*tch?

For the past couple of weeks I have been making more comforting weekly reminders, but it’s about time we speed this shit up. Its time for some hype and I am here for it. This is gonna be cringed as fuck but I don’t give a crap because it is what it is and nobody even cares!

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You see, we live our whole life wondering “what will they think about me” and “that will be embarrassing” as if we should give a fuck. You are the baddest bitch and nobody can top it. If they are judging you, they just are pointing out the things they wish they had. I’m not about to go and preach “life is short” because I think it is a fucking long time to be honest, but no matter how long you live, there is no time for crap and you should be using that time to live your best life. I mean think of it. What good comes out of thinking about what others think? Literally nothing. You get fake friends. You have low self-esteem and you most likely live in fear id being caught. But when you live like you want, you may have less friends, but those that you have are the best, and you don’t have to be fake, you are more comfortable being yourself.

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It is always when after you change yourself that you realise it was a mistake, so let me save you the time. If you are thinking about everyone else but yourself when making a decision, don’t fucking do it. Block out all the noise telling you that it matters what they think because chances are they don’t give a fuck and chances are they aren’t going to benefit you at all. Whether you like it or not, you are the only thing that matters, and for some reason we can never accept that, but if anyone dares tell you otherwise just remember what a bad bitch you are. You don’t need the validation of any fucking person because you are all you need and others are just a bonus. You need to live your best life, and you need to block out any person that tries to take that away from you because they have no right to take your shine. So whenever you go out to a party, or even just to the supermarket, you go in like the confident bitch you are because people should be honored to even say hello to you. You are one of the greatest people in that room and can’t nobody tell you otherwise.

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So don’t you dare listen to anyone else. Listen to this and only this because everyone else is telling lies, but this is the truth and I know it. You need to know it too. Take a look what you can do and have done. You have gone through a pandemic, through life, your live on the ‘Goldilocks’ planet, breathing, sleeping, digesting, putting smiles on peoples faces, changing the world with every step you make. Nobody like you has ever or will ever be on this planet, so you gotta show them all that you got. Go down in history because you are so amazing and unique and inspiring. I love you and so do so many other people. Make sure nobody ever underestimates you. You are worth so much more than their time and their thoughts and all the things that they judge you for. Live the life you want and shout “eat my dust bitches”. Become friends with those on your level, the ones who match your speed. And if they start to slow done, you keep going. You keep doing what you need to do because that is what you want to do and nobody should take that goal away from you. PERIODT

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