If you can’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody elsesomeone
You know, I am not gonna lie to you. I never full understood what this meant. I mean I got the gist but it wasn’t until last night, when I have my daily random thoughts while trying to sleep, that I actually figured it out.
Of course, it means that you need to love yourself before anyone else because you should be the most important thing in your life, but I was always like, how does that stop you from loving someone else. I mean surely people can not like themselves but love somebody else. Then I realised that it is much more complicated than that, well, from how I perceive it. Damn, I am not sure if English class is rubbing off on me or what but we gonna get real deep into this text.
First of all, what is love, baby don’t hurt don’t hurt me, no more. Sorry I had to do that. But seriously. To love somebody means that you adore everything about them. You want to be around them all the time. You can talk about things so easily. You may not have the exact same likes and dislikes but those differences don’t get between you. This is all that I can tell from movies anyways. I have never loved someone truly before. But my point is, how can you do all that, if you don’t even know what you like. What you want to do. What you expect others to respect about you. How you want to be treated. Who you really are. True love isn’t changing yourself to fit the person they want you to be. And it isn’t until you find out who you are and you realise your worth, that you can find that special someone.
Loving yourself means that you learn to know your worth and you don’t want to change anything for anyone else. Loving yourself means that you don’t need anyone to ‘complete you’. Loving yourself means that you wont take shit from nobody if they are disrespecting you. When you love yourself, you accept yourself. When you love yourself, you know what you are looking for in a relationship. When you love yourself, relationships will be easier because they will know the true you and love you for that. You wont have to change nothing for no one.
Lets say you don’t love yourself and you get into a relationship. They could treat you like crap and you are gonna think you deserve it. You wont see that they can’t treat you like that because you don’t know your worth. Even if they don’t take advantage of you, you might have to be someone else so that you can connect with them and even if you do love them in that situation, that isn’t you. The person you are trying to be love them, but you don’t because that isn’t who you are. I think that the best time to have a relationship is when you don’t need one because it is at that point you area happy with yourself and a relationship is just a bonus. And at that point you will be in a relationship with a person who knows the real you. You wont have to work to keep the relationship going. It just happens. And I am sure that is a beautiful thing.
The key word in this phrase is YOU. And if you don’t know who you are yet, then how the hell you gonna love somebody else. Be you. Love YOU. Not the person you think you are meant to be, but you. It may take a long time, trust me I know, and I am still not at the point of being able to love somebody else. But what I also know is that I will get their eventually. My prize wont be the relationship on other side. My prize will be me, and I can’t wait.
Thank you so much for reading. Valentines day can be hard for a lot of you guys but who says this day can’t be to celebrate the relationship with yourself. Do the things you love because you all deserve it, not just on valentines day, but every single day. Please like, follow and donate any change, if you can, so that I can keep all of my content free for everyone. Also check out some deals I have for you guys. Treat yourself to something that will make you feel good. Hope you all stay safe, and stay yourself PERIODT.
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LOL, do you know what is a coincidence. The fact that ‘he who shall not be named’ from Harry Potter and ‘the holiday who shall not be named’ from… this post, both start with the letter ‘v’. Can you guess what it is yet? Damn, seriously, OK well today is the 7th of February, and the holiday is one week from now. Oh my, you still don’t get it. It is valentines day. And just for a bit of background, this is my first valentines alone after 2 or 3 years with being with someone and to be fair I am actually happy about it, so you can probably tell what that relationship was like. Anyways, I kind of just wanted to talk about why it is good to be alone again this year in the perspective of a first time single on Valentines.
Right, so during February you have only just recovered from the financial burden of Christmas, until BOOM, here comes valentines. I suppose it is different depending one what you do, but usually people get gifts for the other person and then you go out for dinner, which is always more expensive. I mean if you are by yourself on valentines, you can save that money, or better yet, spend it on you. You can buy all of the valentines chocolate without anyone suspecting a thing. I mean the plan is full proof. And you won’t have drown in more debt for a while. You can just look out at all the couples and laugh at how their pockets hurt. I mean why waste it on someone else when you can spend it on the most important person in your life, YOU. Who could be arsed to spend £20 on a starter and £50 on a dress or new clothes that you are only going to wear once. I mean this valentines when I went to Tescos I panicked for a second and then was like ‘fuck yeah! That ain’t my problem any more’. Although somehow I am still broke.
LOL I remember I would spend so much time trying to pick out gifts for this person and where we would go, what we would do. I mean it took me so long to pick out what to wear and putting my makeup on. Up until the 14th I would be thinking non stop about it, not in a good way though, I mean like in a worrying way. I always worried about how it would turn out, how I would look, if he liked the gift, what I would say. Mostly bad things. But now I can focus on myself more which is good because you know the saying ‘if you can’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else’ and I mean I suppose it is true. I think that I am just happy that I don’t have to act different. I know that if you are in a healthy relationship, you wouldn’t have to do that, but for me I did which as so exhausting and I am happy to just be by myself and not have to put so much of my attention to another person.
Nah look, this isn’t about the money side of the gift, this is about actually getting a gift. I mean if you go out with a guy, what the fuck are you supposed to buy for them?! Why are they so bloody hard to buy for?! I mean for a girl they will like anything, a bracelet, flowers, a necklace, anything. But in shops they never having anything for the guys and you can’t really think of anything sentimental. My friend has gotten into a relationship (I know, Lord save her sole) and she was like ‘I’m not sure what to get him? What did you used to buy’. I looked at her like bitch I ain’t gotta clue. I was laughing and that is when I realised that I am so fucking happy not to have that problem anymore. I mean I was close to having to end up buying the person a lip-balm or something because I mean damn, there really is nothing to buy a guy.
OK, everyone needs to get this into their head. Valentines day is about spending time with the ones you love. I mean I know it is recognized for the day for couples, but lets change this. I mean couples should have that same energy everyday anyways, but lets bring friends into this. Making it a time for just celebrating relationships in general. Friendships, relationship with yourself, anything I suppose. It is so easy to bully yourself about being single again but what does that matter. I mean you weren’t put on this earth to fall in love with someone, someone who may break your heart one day. Just go out with the ones you know will stay with you forever, no matter what comes along. I mean you need to focus on what means more to you. A life long friendship or an Instagram photo to make others jealous.
Over all, I just want to get across that being single on valentines day isn’t a bad thing and you definitely should not find someone just to have a date on valentines, because trust me, a bad relationship is not worth it. Save this time for you and when you find the one, it wont be such a struggle. When you find the one it will be so easy to talk to them, to hang out with them, to love them. There is no point of losing your dignity just for a picture that you will most likely delete in the future. Nobody should come before yourself and you need to realize that before you start dating. Nobody is judging you for being single. I know I don’t. This year is gonna be a bit different for me but I am excited to at least be happier on this holiday. Not all relationships are easy so be happy you aren’t in one. Take this time for you and just remember, this is only one day with a name on it. It doesn’t really mean anything except there are hearts everywhere. Get some chocolates, put on a face mask, watch whatever movie you want because you ain’t got nobody to please. You do you boo.
Thank you for reading, please like, follow and donate some change so that I can keep all of my content free for everyone. Also go check out some of the discount codes I have for you all so you can save even more money on yourself while lookin’ good. Just remember that you are perfect and you don’t need anyone else to complete you PERIODT.
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