This title isn’t some sort of click-bate type of shit. I literally can not believe that this concert happened. And the thing is when I try to explain it to my friends they just think I’m some obsessed fan girl but I just can’t put what I feel into words. So I don’t know how this post is going to turn out but you can let me know if you feel the same way.
The Best Support Act
First of all, let’s start with her support act. Jessie Reyez. If you don’t know her, I’ll catch you up. We love her. She was amazing! The confidence and her energy were just everything! And she whipped out a fact that kinda shook me and I was like damnnnnn. Do you know the song “One touch” with Dua Lipa and Calvin Harris? SHE WROTE IT! And she has actually been in songs with so many other big people like Eminem and Lewis Capaldi and I just never realised.
Her story was crazy too. She got really deep with us for a whole second and she was saying that when she was starting to try and get into the singing industry (if that’s what it’s called) she had the opportunity to sing in front of this big producer which would be amazing for her career. So she sang to him and obviously, she was amazing and the producer agreed, but guess what the fuck this man said. He said, “you can sing well, but if you want to make it in this industry you’ve got to suck d!(k”. Flabergasted! That’s all I can say. I was completely knocked off my feet. But look at her now! She made it anyway! I hope she does a concert of her own in Belfast soon because I wanna go.
Billie! Billie! Billie!
Anyways, now onto Billie Eilish! Let’s start with the queue outside. Now, I was sitting so I got there an hour before the doors opened, but I know people who were there for 6 hours! FACTS! And I get it because they were standing and I would have done the same but it just seems so mental. They literally got there before she did, I’m guessing. The vibes must have been crazy though. Even when I was waiting in line I was looking at the literal fucking wall like “this gorl is on the other side of this wall right now”.
I felt unworthy of breathing the same air as her. I felt blessed to be in the same room as her and to be able to see the same things as her. I kid you not, Belfast feels different to me now that I know THE Billie Eilish has been there. And I know that I sound like a psycho and Billie’s bodyguards are trying to hunt me down now, but I can explain. I swear!
Actually, I can’t really explain because I don’t have a way with words. I’ll most likely dig myself into a bigger hole but let’s try anyway. Billie is the most amazing, inspiring, comforting, down-to-earth human being that I’ve ever known. I don’t know her personally but I just get that vibe from her. She’s got a story as well and while that was hard for her, she is proof that you can get better and we all need that. I like how she is so open about it and she just being in the same room as she makes you feel like everything is going to be ok, no matter what.
Let me tell you, this girl puts on one fucking good show. Like at the start it was all smoky and flashing lights and increasingly fast music and I was literally like “oh shit where is she” because I swear these singers be coming out of every fucking crevis nowadays, but then she just flew out of the ground. And when I say flew, I mean this miss Billie did not skip leg day. She jumped high though and I was KNOCKED off my feet. I really wasn’t ready for it despite the fact I had been waiting since Christmas day.
You know the way people say you shouldn’t meet your hero? They can go fuck themselves because I met mine and it was fucking amazing. She literally went onto a wee crane thing at one point and just swung around the stadium on her platform like the queen she is. It defo inspired Queen E to get up on her balcony the next day for her jubilee. Like it was so uncalled for because she was singing a song and then we were like “umm hello” because she was just GONE, she had left. But then all of a sudden she’s a runner, she’s a track star because she was at the other side and getting onto this crane situation.
It was funny seeing everyone in the standing section all scuttle over to the other side like she was a magnet or something. Then after a few amazing songs, she ran around again to the front and I’m pretty sure that is when she was singing “getting older” and she had videos from when she was little which was so cute. Tell me why I was crying though? Like they were not my childhood photos but I was really like “shit, we’ve come so far”.
I want to mention that I haven’t been able to listen to any of her songs since the concert because every time I do I die inside a little and literally cry and I’ll tell you why. It reminds me that I am no longer in said concert and that I am not in fact besties with Billie Eilish and she doesn’t even know who I am. Don’t ask me why I went into the concert with the feeling that I would walk out of there as her new bestie. All I can say is that I just always set myself up for failure lol.
One last thing that I wanted to talk about which isn’t related to the Belfast concert, but still has to do with Billie is her Dublin concert. She had 2 I think and I’m not sure which one it was, but what I heard actually bugged me. Don’t quote me on this because I wasn’t there, but I heard that people were literally throwing stuff onto the stage. I don’t think it was to hurt her but probably they wanted her to sign their clothes or some shit, but then somebody threw a SHOE at her, at THE Billie Eilish, and she stopped to ask that they don’t do that because some people have got really hurt and she doesn’t mind if people give her a shirt respectively, AS SHE SHOULD. But then apparently some people started to boo at her! How dare they! I hope Billie was ok though because she had every right to ask people to literally not hit her with shit.
And now, as a Northern Ireland citizen, I’m kinda conflicted. I don’t want to be associated with the certain dickheads you find in England (not all of you though x) but I also don’t want to be associated with the Irish who are now disrespectful idiots (not all of you though x). Like for real, are we gonna have even more troubles because we’ve already done that shit. We completed it, for real.
So now that you all think I am a crazy fan girl and that Billie has probably filed a restraining order against me, I just wanted to end this by just making sure everyone knows that I just really respected and admire Billie and I love her so much because she is such a nice, down-to-earth gal. I would never do something like throwing a shoe at her just so I get her attention, and I would never do the crazy stalker shit that you see some people do, I just want her to know how much she means to so many people.
I also hope that someone else feels that way and that she enjoys the rest of her tour because I know I fucking loved the concert and I don’t really know how she could top our crowd. For real, we were so loud that I could barely hear her at times lol. Shout outs to Billie Eilish and I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.
Here for the second instalment of Discount and Deals we have TopCashBack. Not gonna lie to you, I’ve heard about this for a while and never bothered to get it because it’s one of those things where it’s “too good to be true”. I mean how the hell are you gonna tell me I can… Continue Reading →
Hey everyone. Just for a time frame our current prime minister is Rishi Sunak so that means this post is accurate for at least a couple of weeks, give or take. I’m not gonna get much more political than that because I know you are all sick of hearing what crap is going on in… Continue Reading →
I myself am not someone with massive fashion sense. I tend to be late to the trends because I am never confident enough to fully commit to them as if I everyone would turn and point and start laughing at me like “I can’t believe she actually fell for it”. Don’t ask why, but that’s… Continue Reading →
I think that to start this post we need to figure out what the word “humour” really means. I’m no Oxford dictionary but in my opinion, it is the things we find funny and that we enjoy making/hearing jokes about. Nothing fancy just a basic bitch definition. I guess now that is out of the way, we can start to get into it. I will also mention some of the ones that I would fit myself into which I suppose is multiple but we can all relate at some points. Don’t forget to tell us in the comment section what sense of humour you have.
We are all familiar with what dark humour is, but for all the idio- people out there I will explain. It’s basically when you find things that are supposed to be serious, and are quite morbid, to be funny. It can also be quite smart and well thought through despite the fact it was off the cuff and that makes it a bit worrying because you may find it funny but you also like “oh shit is this person ok” or “oh shit is this person going to kill me”. But at that point, it is a judgement call and in my experience, it’s just a coping mechanism.
I will now give you all a few examples which I actually am scared might offend someone in some way. Not as in they are gonna be offensive but like I don’t want people to be like “that was really disrespectful” or some shit. But THAT IS DARK HUMOUR and you better get over yourself bitch!
Where did sally go when the bomb went off? everywhere.
This is just a general statement, but like if someone were to hurt themselves then someone with a dark sense of humour would laugh. Like it do be funny though. Kids be falling and tripping for no god damn reason
This example isn’t a phrase either but it’s from a video and literally makes me piss myself because it’s so funny but there is this video of this blind girl who is talking with this news presenter and they are talking about everything the girl has achieved in her life and the presenter goes “is there anything you can’t do” just because she is so amazing and the girl dead ass says “see”
This humour is my cuppa tea but it’s also a wee bit risky if I say so myself. Like you gotta be careful who you say this too. It can sometimes come with a little bit of truth and may actually expose yourself a wee bit too but the added risk is fun I suppose. But what is it? It’s basically just saying something but not really meaning it. I guess you know what sarcasm is and it’s basically that but making it. It’s an art form, to be honest (that was kind of an example of sarcasm but like it’s also hard to get across in text so it takes a bit of expression and tone as well. Don’t ask me why I am developing this shit so much). This is my go-to when it comes to joking with friends and to be honest it makes up my whole personality trait to the point that it isn’t humour anymore, it’s just down-right sad.
Yeah but enough of that I suppose. Let’s get into a few wee examples. To be honest, they make up the majority of my posts because I just find everything a joke, for example, my life, and this can also slot into another sense of humour that I mention later. These are also kinda one-liners and a bit situational so like you kinda had to be there so like if you don’t find them funny please don’t attack me because I will in fact cry 🙂
Friend “can you help me with something” Me “no…” *stare at each other awkwardly like the 2 spidermen guys*
Me “do you know what I literally so much?” Friend “what?” Me “you” *stare at each other awkwardly like the 2 spidermen guys* again
I’m so fucking lucky my friends get my humour or else I’d literally have nobody in my life right now lol. Like I sound like such a bitch but I swear it is all in good taste
To be fair, what is actual humour? Like I guess it’s the classics like knock-knock jokes (despite the fact they’re shite) but like people might not find that humour. Well, I actually don’t really give a fuck and don’t want to talk about that so let’s get into it. This is the basic bitch, default setup, awkward laugh combo platter and if this is your main sense of humour you are either lying or a granny who has been desensitised by the crap jokes they put on the kids shows you are basically forced to watch all day.
So I guess I’ll give a few but you already know what they are gonna be basically. You don’t have to be a genius to know these and it takes literally one brain cell to understand – knock knock who’s there? Interrupting cow Interrupting cow wh- MOOOOOOOO – Knock knock Who’s there? Boo Boo who? Well, there is no need to cry about it!
It’s literally so obnoxious ad stupid. It’s literally so unfunny and painful to listen to that you have nothing else to do by laughing. It is just pain
Watch out for these people because behind every self-deprecating joke is some truth. Like you can laugh but also keep an eye out for them lol. I do admit this is another go-to for me and is always easy to do when you hate yourself 😮 (Pulled a wee sneaky one on you). Sadly enough though a lot of people find it funny and use it often. Like we all laugh at something and make the same joke but then all just look around awkwardly like “we really are fucked up aren’t we”. It’s a bonding experience though, also a coping mechanism, but bonding nonetheless. It’s so simple too like it’s sad that we can literally make anything into a self-deprecating joke.
So now for examples, but I feel like I should also address those bitches who use it for attention. Like they will just out of the blue be like “uh I’m so ugly today lol” and then act sad until someone says “awk no you’re beautiful”. NO! I literally hate that and there is a pretty fucking obvious difference so don’t even try to get yourself out of it if you do that sometimes.
*in some random video an ogre walks down the street (not Shrek though, obviously he’s a babe)* Me “ok but who took that video of me?”
This next example is literally me the other day and I’m kinda mad about the actual situation but it was a pretty good self-deprecating joke: *me literally gets hit in the head by a bottle the idiots in our school are throwing* Me – what the actual fuck! Concussed question mark? (yes I say question mark) * me also goes on to tell people about how I’ve literally had so many head injuries in my lifetime* Me – maybe that’s why I’ve got a big ass forehead?!
Me – *does one thing wrong* also me – I literally hate myself so much
Sometimes you just gotta take one for the team, ya know? Sacrifice your life for Pakistan GRAPE!
This is an exclusive package that you actually get when you become a teacher. Like that bitch is limited edition and we all gotta respect that as soon as we go into their classroom. Surely they are aware that they can’t make a joke like I can’t make sense of their class. Surely they know that we aren’t over here pissing ourselves and barely being able to breathe because their joke was funny. We just tryna get outta doing work/don’t want to get shouted at. Like I barely heard what you said but if I see the slightest smirk on your face I’m gonna laugh like you just turned into fucking Kevin Hart. You better know I’ll be rolling on the floor.
But seriously though, teachers laugh at everything and joke about everything so we out here getting abs with all the fake laughing we gotta do. Just look at some of these examples:
In my chemistry class my teacher was telling us how to remember the difference between Cations and anions and to be fair they were pretty helpful tips but she thought she was absolutely hilarious. She was like “cations has cat in it and cats are paw-sitive lol, and then anions are like onions and they make you cry, so they are negative” and we just looking at her like ha yeah.
Just any time they mention anything about how they would leave their job if not for something else. Like you are literally kind of a bit hurt because they be like “I wish I could just run away and live on a beach where I would never have to work here again haha” or “I would love to do *some other job* but I guess i’m just here lol”. Like damn what the fuck. So we just gotta laugh here to bring the mood back up. Like god damn just teach us some maths so we can get the fuck out of here.
They always gotta do the demonic laugh as well where they like chuckle but like you can see in their eyes that they are crying out for help and literally hate everything. They have good intentions though and for me, it’s usually just a pity laugh.
This is quite similar to sarcastic humour but, if you are an expert like me, you will know the difference. Basically, the difference is that sarcastic humour is kinda more chillaxed and off the cuff, but with anti-joke humour, it’s probably more planned out and thought about. It might have a bit of a delayed laugh as well because obviously, you are expecting a joke but then it’s pretty much just a fact. Oh and yeah that reminds me, an anti-joke is basically setting something up as you would a joke and then the punchline is just matter-of-fact. I’ll give examples obviously but that’s what it is. And if I’m gonna be honest with you, the people who have this as the humour they come up with a lot are probably going through some shit. Like I find it funny and a lot of others do but can never really come up with one and say it in the right way unless I’m in one of my “low patches”. No attack on anyone by the way. I suppose another form of anti-joke is just one that wasn’t intended to be funny but then the way you said it or the way you timed it was just perfect and I respect that tbh.
I’m gonna go into examples now obviously, I mean why do I find the need to say that every fucking time I’m pretty sure that you have got that already. But yeah the first one that I am gonna say is something kinda shocking and I only found out about it a few days ago and it kinda fucked my mind a wee bit.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.
What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot? Half a cat
What’s white and can’t climb a tree? A fridge
Like they are so fucking stupid and like so fucking random but I don’t know why that literally cracks me up. I think it’s just so funny because it literally isn’t funny whatsoever and you kinda just end up looking at the other person in the eyes as you both question how your life led up to this one moment.
“Too Far” Humour
This humour actually bugs me and I feel as though it can also be called “that one popular kid who sits in the back of the class and try to make everyone laugh but really he is a dick and people are just scared of him/want to impress him” humour but that’s a wee bit too long. What I find hilarious about it though is whenever you grow up and so does everyone else but they are the same idiot they were 4 years ago so now when they make a joke literally nobody gives a shit and just looks at them in disgust and you feel embarrassed for them. There is a group of people in my school like that and I just don’t think they’ve got rid of that god-complex yet and they haven’t accepted the fact that literally, nobody likes them lol. But back to talking about the “too far” humour. This is basically where they make jokes about things that aren’t meant to be joked about. Not like dark humour where it is still innocent and doesn’t hurt anyone, but when they joke about stuff that is literally offensive and disrespectful.
Me – *plays football/breathes* idiot man – ShOuLdN’t YoU bE iN tHe KiTcHeN?! ahahahah Go MaKe Me A sAnDwIcH (this applies to literally any ‘joke’ like that)
Just joking around with your friends and then they go too far and talk about something actually personal to you and is a sensitive topic. Like I have heard guys in the back of our class talking and then they would be like “well at least I know my dad” or sometimes they would be straight up racist. Like maybe that’s a ‘guy thing’ but still that sounds fucked up.
These are the kinda jokes that make other generations think we are snowflakes but literally we are just respectful and more of an understanding person. Like they say it isn’t that deep but it kinda is. Just because it might not have offended anyone in this room, doesn’t mean it isn’t offensive.
I actually had one of my friends tell me a story the other day about how she was literally gas-lighted by her parents, but like in a funny innocent way, and it really just cracked me up tbh. Obviously, in some cases, it isn’t funny but just whenever someone is so gullible that they fall for shit so easily makes me actually die. I’m quite a gullible bitch myself and I have another friend who is as well and the fact it is so easy to trick them is just priceless. They never learn and you kinda make fun of them after which is the gas-lighting part but ah well lol. Do I feel like a shitty person afterwards? Yup. Do I do it to everyone? Fuck no. Do I use too many rhetorical questions? Hell yeah.
Before I give these examples I just want to say that they may sound like the dumbest shite ever but it was just an “at the moment” type thing so don’t even be judging me.
So the story with my friend and her parents was that she was asking to go to a party and they were like “fine but you will have to take a breathalizer when you get home”. They had like police friends and all that shit so he had easy access. So she was like “fine” and then went to the party. She was proper raging and to be fair she did still drink and was willing to face the consequences when they came. So she got back home and her parents were like “right then, how much did you drink” and she was like “I only had 2 cups” and they were like “ok, bye”. She was proper fuming like what the hell was happening. They just let her go yet she was freaking out about it for ages and trying to figure out how to trick the system or some shit and tgen they just started laughing at her because they couldn’t believe she actually believed it. Like her whole family were pissing themselves because she thought she was actually about to be breathalized. Kinda funny I must admit
This next story is one where I was the person being laughed at and my sister literally brings it up every fucking second of the day even 6 years after it happened. So we had juts got a puppy (a miniature schnauzer to be exact) and we loved that hoe. We were already wanting to get another and my mum who had not even liked dogs that much (what a fucking weirdo) actually loved our dog. So then one day when I was going home from some sort of club type thing, my older sister was really excited and she was like “we got another puppy!” and I was like “actually fuck off do you really expect me to believe that” and she kept going on about the fact it was the truth. That bitch deserved an oscar because I started to believe her. I knew in the back of my head that it was obviously a lie but I wanted it to be true so bad that I believed it. Then we got home and was like I’m catch this hoe red handed. There is definitely no fucking dog in this house. Then she ran outside to our dog’s bit of the garden and then came back with this minature schnauzer in her hands and it was really small so I went up to see it. Tell me why this bitch was holding a fucking statue? I really started to pet a fucking piece of clay. She really did me dirty there.
I can never really get this type of humour down but I find it really funny whenever it fails and works. Intricate humour is when someone makes a joke and it is kind of factual, or it just has so many layers to it. Like your friend might be building it up like a fucking house and then they drop the wrecking ball and, if timed right, it is hilarious. Sometimes you kinda zone out and wake up once they are laughing at their own joke, but if you manage to listen, it is usually actually good. Another type of intricate joke is one that takes you a second to think about, but like not to the point where it is just dumb and you do a pity laugh. I never really have the brains or the effort to do that shit but sometimes it comes easy to you and you can’t miss that opportunity. There might have been something you and your friend heard or witnessed one week and then one or two weeks later you bring that into the joke it just makes it fucking hilarious.
It always makes me do that silent laugh aka my favourite type of laugh. I swear there have been times where I have been silent laughing for so long that I actually got really scared because I physically could not breathe.
There was this one that I remember so vividly from my first year in high school and I was in my geography class. I sat at the back next to this guy and his friend sat in front of me so they would always be talking about the most random shit. I would usually zone out but there was a faze where they just insulsted each other in the weirdest ways. I am pretty sure they actually didn’t like each other lol. Anyways, one of the insults I heard was one of the most stupid and most unfunny thing ever but literally cracks me up. He says “I hope you turn into a fish and swim backwards” and as if that wasn’t bad enough, he goes on to explain why that’s a bad thing. Btw it’s because the water will go into their gills and like kil them or some shit like that. I just remember how I was so disappointed in that joke and everything about it that I found it hilarious.
Tbh I don’t really have any other examples because they are usually more inside jokes and like you had to be in a certain situation to get them and actually find them funny, but if you guys have any examples please do comment them down below.
We can’t deny that we all have this type of humour. I suppose it kinda fits under all of these other types of humour, but to be more specific it is the jokes you make that flop really bad or you instantly regret and for the rest of your life you will be reminded of it every single time you try to sleep. I suppose it also includes stuff that you just find embarrassing but people still make fun of you for. Some may call that bullying but just don’t be like that lol. That shit stings though and literally catches you so off guard that it really isn’t necessary. It is literally painful and to be fair my whole life is one big insomniac joke. Like I just replay that shit in my head from the day I was birthed to that very moment. Like it really just is not necessary and I know that nobody remembers that it happened but I know that it did and it was not ok.
And just as soon as you either forget about it or convince yourself that nobody even remembers it somebody gotta ruin the mood and bring it up again so you are never able to get over that trauma. But now to bring it up again myself… I’m gonna have to talk to my therapist about this aren’t I?
I hopped that this information would get locked up somewhere for the rest of my life, but since none of you really know who I am I guess I’ll just relate it to, oh I don’t know, THE WHOLE FUCKING INTERNET. So anyways, I used to go to ballet. Yup, I was a little ballet bitch. But that didn’t work out for me andy you will find out why. I was quite young when this happened. Maybe 5 or 6? But me and the rest of the class had just been misbehaving or like wasting too much time so our teacher was getting pissed off. The thing was I desperatily needed the toilet, but seeing her anger and being the anxious little girl I was, I just stayed quiet. I was like nope, not today bitch. So I just held it. That was, of course, until I couldn’t. Yep, you guessed it, I pissed myself in front of my whole entire class and I actually hate myself. And then my teacher was like “why didn’t you just ask to go”. Girl, you know why! Now clean up my piss. My twin still bullies me to this day.
My first year of high school I was ready to be a whole new person. I was ready to be everyones friend and just the best person ever. So any opportunity I found to get out there I would take. Well there was only one time and I never tried again, but you’ll understand why. So I tried to run for the class president (1st downfall) or whatever the fuck it’s called and that meant I had to go up to the front of the class and tell everyone why they should vote for me. I had a whole plan in my head, no script or prep at all, but I had a goal. So I went up to the front of the class thinking I was gonna be the class clown and everyone would want to be my friend. Mind blank. Complete fucking mind blank. But I remembered one thing after blabbering about the dumbest shit ever and it was something that I thought was really good. Then I say it. Deadass it was the dumbest shit that has ever come out of my mouth. I hate myself so much for it and I swear that was the source of my social anxiety. From that moment onwards I would no longer communicate with anyone outside of my small bubble (aka my family). It is obvious to say I didn’t not get class president.
For those that doesn’t know, inuendo is basically when one thing sounds or means the same thing as another thing, but like somebody intends the play on words for comedic use. I always find this hilarious especially whenever it wasn’t intended and when the person who said it doesn’t even realise that makes it even more hilarious. I have one friend who is either too mature or we are just immature so she tends to say a lot of things that sound like something else. Usually quite inappropriate stuff but it is so funny because it’s just unexpected and you can tell they didn’t mean it to sound like it did. It’s also the look on the persons face whenever they have possessed it in their head and the look of disappointment is just so funny. To be fair I have never really heard of a person whose go to jokes were inuendos unless it’s some sort of creepy old guy wth a beer belly. Sorry if that is your sense of humour but that’s just been my experience. I also feel like if it was intended then it isn’t funny because they just try too hard but that’s honestly true with all jokes kind of
I’m gonna try and give a few examples but at the moment I can only think of inappropriate ones and Im not sure what type of demographic I’m working with here but to be fair if they are still reading y this point it is a wee bit late. I think I’ll just try to find ones that are more of just a pun
I had to break the rhythm of the titles because I just couldn’t bring myself to call it dad humour. I guess I could have called it desperate humour but I’ll not be rude. Honestly though is there much I can say about this? It’s just a classic bad joke with like the worst timing. To be honest there is never a good time for a dad joke. They just make me laugh so much because it’s clever but also so unnecessary. It’s seeing your dads face afterwards as well because they are so proud of themselves and you feel bad for not laughing so you just laugh disappointedly. I have to admit though that whenever I come up with one myself I am really proud of myself. Like I don’t know why it’s just so rewarding cause it isn’t always easy. It’s really just an at the moment type situation.
Some people have trouble sleeping… but I can do it with my eyes closed
Yesterday I was washing the car with my son. He said “dad can’t you just use a sponge?”
Did you know Bruce lee has a faster older brother? Sudden Lee
Personally, I totally get why in a lot of places you have to be 18 to vote. People my age can barely decide on what fillings they want in subway. But I think another way to see it is that we are the ones that are going to have to live through the consequences of… Continue Reading →
Lately, the NEWS about the invasion of Ukraine by Russia has been minimal despite the growing threat of another world war. So I think it’s time to bring up a new revelation that I have discovered amidst hundreds of other repetitive NEWS reports. It’s time we check in again and refocus on what could become… Continue Reading →
See, I don’t really like it when people are cheeky to me. I mean you can be upfront and shout at me and I’ll be fine with that. My sisters have conditioned me to that. But if you are being passive aggressive or cheeky in front of me or behind my back, I won’t hesitate to fight.
No this isn’t coming out of the blue guys, but something I did yesterday kinda got my blood boiling if you get me. Anyways, here I was at my friend’s house for moral support because I was about to call my work and be like “hey girl so for medical and educational reasons I’m not gonna be able to work more than 8 hours a week but obviously I can work more on holidays thanks”, and here my manager does the longest sigh ever, literally I could almost smell her stinking breathe it was that loud, and I was like shit what is about to happen. Then this bitch really stops the sigh and goes “that’s not really helpful for us”
😮 Did I ask?! No I think the fuck I didn’t so why the hell did you have to say that. Would you prefer I didn’t work any hours? Do you want me to quit because I’ll be more than happy to get out of this bitch. Like I actually don’t even like work. When I tell you I was shocked, I mean I was back-from-war-tazer-in-the-back shocked. I still am at the moment tbh.
But anyways, after that, I paused because I was in denial at that stage or something and then I was just like “Ummm well… It’s for medical reasons as well” because my doctor told me to say that so she legally couldn’t fire me for it (I also wouldn’t care if she did because then id use and never have to work again, I’m not too proud to miss that opportunity bitch) and here she was acting all nice again, miss cheeky bitch tryna get on my good side again. Like I actually have to go to work with her today and if she comes up to me and starts talking shit, I will happily throw hands. I mean I’m terrified of her too, let’s not get ahead of ourselves, but she barely knows me and doesn’t know how hard I can hit. BTW this is a joke don’t be calling the police
Anyways yeah that happened and it really made me realise how much I HATE, despise, loath, work. Do I get paid minimum wages to only get a 20 min break during illegal hours?! I think the fuck not. Like I have enough money saved to get my ass out of that hoe and I only stay cause I want my parents to be proud of me lol. But you have to admit what she said was petty uncalled for. Like it was not necessary. I actually despise the working world and it sucks the little bit of life and dignity inside of me.
So what do you guys reckon I should do? Quit or just realise that this is life. Also if anyone is like a law person, is there any way I could use for doing illegal hours with only a 20 minute break. I mean that would be ideal lol. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.
To be completely honest with you, I didn’t have any high hopes for the movie when I heard it was coming out. I thought it would be another one of the “Bohemian Rhapsody” types of movies, which I did like, but was getting kinda bored of. I also didn’t know much about Elvis himself, or… Continue Reading →
For those who may not watch TikTok, there has been a sort of trend going around lately of a man that keeps dancing to George Ezra’s song “green, green grass”. Personally, it has ruined the song for me forever and I think many others will agree. I would add a video to this post, however,… Continue Reading →
Summary of The Queen The queen’s health has become a great topic during the last few months, especially after her jubilee when she could not attend various events due to medical reasons. But I mean, who can blame her? She is literally 96 years old! I’m 1/5th of her age and I’m sick of this… Continue Reading →
Ok so look, I haven’t been posting in a bit because I’m busy and all that shit. Wow, I’m a poet and I didn’t even know it. Anyways, I reckoned I would post something today while I have the chance and I wanted to do a wee story time or something. And this will be about the multiple head injuries I had when growing up that I think may explain my oddness and mental… imperfections. So yeah, there are 3 short stories so buckle up and lets get started
Stairway To Hell
I’ve called this story the stairway to hell not because I did one of the wee rides or adventure things where you climb high or anything and then I called it Hell for a play on words. No. Here it is. So when I was a child, I was staying at my granny’s and at this point my parents were outnumbered, or just fed up with all our shit, and couldn’t keep an eye on everyone. So me being the adventurous child I am, I was wondering around, or at least I guess I was, I mean I don’t remember anything from when I was a literal foetus. But yeah, I got to the top of the stairs and thought I was an absolute smarty pants and that I could somehow get down the steps. So that’s what I did, or at least tried to do because I ended up falling down all of the and breaking my leg. Now a leg injury isn’t a head injury but I’m guessing I hit my head a few times on the way down or maybe I hit my head before the fall and that’s when I made that dumb ass decision. I think I kind of deserved it though. I am also being quite hard on a literal foetus child because they barely recognise that their nose looks nothing like the ‘nose’ they supposedly stole from me.
Do you know what is gross though but also kind of cute and I see myself doing in the future if it came to that. My parents kept my little cast. It was like a full leg cast but is the size of my foot now. That’s kind of a weird comparison but deal with it. Anyways, yeah they literally just showed that to me one day and I was like “that’s cool but also what the fuck surely that’s absolutely minging”. It’s also kind of weird to think that we were that small and we have grown so much since then. Like we were all once little munchkins running around, slobbering and shitting everywhere. How beautiful
Head and Spoon Race
Do you like my wee play on words there! Analyse this Miss English teacher bitch! Anyways that was intense, just like when I was a toddler at a restaurant and I was running around like we usually do. Don’t worry there was a wee play area there for kids that we could run around in. But anyways, I was running to go back to the table and fell, as one does, but somehow my head landed on a fucking spoon and indented my head. Apparently it was bleeding so much that my mum had to get a waiter to drive us to the hospital while she stayed at the back to control the bleeding lol. Thinking about it now, I hope he got a good tip or a raise or something because why could my dad not drive us? Maybe he was drinking? Or like why not ring an ambulance? Poor guy just wanted to get paid but no, I just had to get a spoon stuck in my head. How pathetic is that! Literally it sounds ridiculous. Imagine I died from that!!! DEATH BY SPOON! Stop that is too funny lol. I would turn into the girl in the story your mum tells you to stop you running around anywhere.
I actually still have a scar from it and although it is faint and you wouldn’t really recognise it unless you stared at it for long, and who the fuck would be staring at me, but like it is pretty full on. It doesn’t sound very intimidating though. Like imagine I joined a gang and they were like “you see this *points at scar*. Bullet hole, 1986, had to take the bullet out myself and stitch it up with only the homeless guys hair and a rats tooth. Nearly lost all my blood but I survived for 4 days all alone in the gutters with nothing but mice to eat and then finally somebody found me” and then I’m just here like ME – “damn, that sounds tough. But do you see this *points at scar*” THEM – “mmmm no?” ME – “RIGHT well it’s there ok! stupid bitch. Spoon hole, 2007, fell on the ground and a waiter drove me to the hospital. I had to get stitches from a doctor and was home the same day. And he gave me a sticker”
Do you know what adds to it though. I literally had to get a cast on my fucking head because I wouldn’t stop scratching the stitches off. How dumb was that! The doctor was probably sick of me and was like “I’m going to embarrass the fuck out of this kid in the future” because now I have bloody photos of me with a massive fucking cast on my head. Maybe that is why my forehead is so big now! All the bumps just ended up staying there or the cast stretched it or some shit lol.
Head and Seek
I can actually remember this one because it was in p6 ( which is around 9-10 years old for all the Americans out there). I remember it all and it really is hilarious. So I was playing hide and seek with a few of my friends, as you do, and it was a pretty intense match I have to admit. So I was going to run into the bathroom as a sneaky wee trick and somebody else was opening it and I went to sprint in. Full pelt in, but only my head got through because the door slipped from their hand and slammed my head. I remember being like “hmm, ok that’s embarrassing as fuck” and then my friends were like “OMG are you ok” and I was like “yeah, I’m fine” because I was so cool at that time obviously. But then they were like going to get a teacher and I was like “no, it’s fine, I just feel a wee bit tired”. I now know that is a sign of a concussion. I was also very out of it and confused, another sign of concussion.
But then they were like “your fucking head is bleeding you dumb bitch”, or something along those lines, so I was like fine and we went to the teacher. Obviously she was like what the actual fuck, this child is literally bleeding and looks like she’s drunk or some shit. So they brought me to the nurse and got me one of their handy dandy wet paper towels (that defo saved my life) and I went on for lunch and got all the attention which I obviously loved. They had called my mum but in the mean time I was milking it to all my friends and was like “it hurt really bad but it’s totally fine, I can handle it”. And I distinctly remember someone was like “can I see it” so I took of the paper towel and they were like “oh my god I can literally see right through” obviously you really couldn’t but I thought I was the bees knees.
Eventually my mum came to pick me up and brought me to the doctors who stitched it up and told my mum to check on me during the night to check I don’t become deceased and that was that. I came back to school the next day like the baddie I was. I don’t really think I got a scar from that but it defo jolted my brain a little and I will blame that for all my failures in life for no particular reason. It was a good laugh too I suppose. I also have a quick question for all the American’s out there. If any of this happened to you would you literally just risk it for a biscuit and not go to the doctors because of no free health care and all that shit. Would you just take all the nurses paper towels and sleep under them or something because damn.
Anyways, those are the three biggest injuries I have gotten that have probably impacted my brain or the eventual outcome of a massive forehead which I very much despise. It’s all fun and games though and I’m still alive today which can be seen as a positive and negative lol. Hopefully that is all the head injuries I got for a wee while and just remember, don’t be a cocky bitch baby, watch out for spoons, and never hide in the bathrooms for hide and seek. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.
Introduction Since the 5th of July, 1948, the UK has been blessed with free healthcare through the NHS, helping to provide critical treatment and medicine for UK citizens. Included in the NHS are the mental health service with psychologists, mental health nurses and many more specialised workers who work to improve the lives of others… Continue Reading →
Reactions There is no excuse History is destroyed Do you know what makes it even more hypocritical? Conclusion Reactions These are the people’s reactions after the US supreme court overturned the Roe v. Wade decision that gave women the right to an abortion. In other words, on the 24th of June 2022, the USA destroyed… Continue Reading →
To any foetus child out there who is like what the fuck are genes, basically they are the characteristics that we get from our parents and they make up who we are and what we look like. For example, I inherited my dad’s white ass Irish skin which burns like a bitch whenever a bloody tea light goes within 1 mile of it. So it’s not ideal. I also inherited his lack of eyebrows which shocked me, but you couldn’t tell because you couldn’t see my eyebrows expressions. I slightly blame my twin for that because, although it is probably scientifically impossible, I believe she robbed them from me in the womb. Unfortunately that doesn’t stand well in court so I never got back what is rightfully mine smh
I do have blonde hair which really is the only thing going for me but it is going darker and I resent that but it is what it is. Oh and I forgot to mention, I swear my twin stole my teeth because I have two missing and she’s a bit sus if you ask me. She isn’t little miss perfect after all. When she dies I swear I’ll find a long note releasing the truth. I don’t know why she would do it but like it meant that for 13 years of my life I looked like your crazy young cousin whose only personality trate is losing their teeth. And now I have fake teeth that I sometimes think will fall out. IM FUCKING 16 YEARS OLD YET I’LL LITERALLY HAVE FAKE TEETH DRILLED IN MY MOUTH AT 18. I remember one time when I had to put my fake teeth in my retainers and one day I forgot them for some dumb fucking reason and I was like dad we need to turn back and he was like no. The trauma this man caused right then was astronomical but he didn’t give a shit. I kid you not, I had to spend that whole day trying not to smile with my teeth or talk to anyone but then in one of my classes I forgot and smiled at someone and they looked at me like what the fuck and then was like “where have your teeth gone”. Keep in mind I was 13-14 so all my teeth should have fallen out and grown back so it was weird. I also regret this moment because I could have pranked them so easily by acting scared and going “oh my god where the hell did they go” but no I had to really say “I forgot them at home”. I FORGOT THEM AT HOME! What the actual fuck. No teen should have to say that they left their teeth at home. I am still recovering from that chat.
But back to what I wanted to talk about today. My pale ass skin. I kid you not, I only have two different options. White as fuck or red as fuck. Yesterday I thought I would switch it up a bit so I got burnt to a crisp. I regret it. Why do I never learn. I literally thought I could wish my way into going tan but instead I look like a fucking stop sign. It was dumb how it happened though because I must have forgotten to put suncream on like half of my legs and I didn’t realize. Like I knew my attention span was shit but I thought I could at least pay attention to this. So I had work after and I was basically cooking the meals on my legs cause they were burning so much and then when I took them off later I thought I was turning into Elmo because those bitches were RED. I basically bathed them in aloe Vera and cried because I am now currently on the way to a beach where the general public are and they can see my bright ass legs. Everyone also seems to have to point them out. Like just when I stop thinking about it someone needs to pop out from the sky and go “OH MY GOD” literally like Janice from friends “YOU ARE GLOWING” and I look at them like no shit Sherlock. I didn’t realize that my legs could double as a flare to attract planes and a heater to toast our sandwiches. Leave me and my burns alone. And of course my twin fans. That cheeky bitch. How did I get the pale skin, invisible eyebrows, missing teeth AND the mental illness 😮
Anyways that is the post and I’m glad to get that off my chest. Please feel free to comment some things you inherited from your parents or whether you relate to some of the things I have. Have fun in the sun and don’t forget suncream bitches. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT
The Best Support Act Billie! Billie! Billie! Dublin’s Disaster This title isn’t some sort of click-bate type of shit. I literally can not believe that this concert happened. And the thing is when I try to explain it to my friends they just think I’m some obsessed fan girl but I just can’t put what… Continue Reading →
Let me set the scene for you real quick. It’s 4.30am. You’re at the airport. You’re at the back of a long line for a service that hasn’t even opened yet. An hour ago you were asleep or at least just woken up by your alarm so you kinda feel like you’re in some sort… Continue Reading →
Let’s play a quick game of never have I ever. Never. Have I ever needed to hear that. Never have I ever wanted to hear that. Never have I ever felt good after hearing that. Never have I ever gone to someone’s house and they didn’t say this. Never have I ever been more offended. But literally why do people think that it would be a good thing to say to a teenage girl that they look just like an old, balding, wrinkly, angry, sore backed man. Like seriously what the fuck made you say that. There was actually one time I went to my sisters boyfriends house for some reason and I had never seen his parents before but I kid you not, the first thing they said to me was “you look just like your dad”… what dumb fuckery is that because I didn’t even know he had seen them. Like what the hell. Needless to say, I never saw them again. Highly unappreciated to be honest with you.
The saddest thing is though is that I can see it. Like they aren’t wrong. Did they need to point that out though? No. But they aren’t wrong. One time at New Years there was this thing where you had to guess who was who from their childhood photos. Don’t ask why. But we just did. And I was looking around when my sister called me over and was like “look at this” and so I did. She covered the hair of my dads picture and was like “look”. This bitch really called me out because it literally looked exactly like me. Great start to the new year am I right. Like why the actual fuck did I have to inherit his non-existent eyebrows and his literal 5 head. Not appreciated father.
But yeah, I never get compared to as my Mum but like I guess looking like my dad, while embarrassing, let’s me know I am not adopted because as a child I would be like “Oh mY GoD iM aDoPteD” just because I the only one in my whole family that has blonde hair. What do you guys get compared to. Is there anything other than your parents you get compared to or maybe even a celebrity! The only celebrity I’ve been compared to is the bloody monster from the goonies. He is such a babe though I guess.
Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this post and make sure to like and comment below if you have anything else to add. I’ll see you tomorrow for more hopefully and I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT
I feel like a lot of people will understand me when I say that there are things that people can literally just talk about and that makes you feel exhausted or just unmotivated to do that thing despite the fact you aren’t even going to do it but the thought of it is so horrible you want to cry? That is a bit of a weird introduction but you know what I mean, right? Like if someone was like “oh my god do you remember that time you went kayaking for ages and your arms and legs and everything were exhausted and then you had to do a 10K walk afterwards?” By the way, that was targeted at my dad and I am still mentally recovering from it. But whenever I remember that it is as if I get PTSD from it and literally get so scared at the thought that I did that. I don’t really know where I am going with this intro but I am going to stop now and we can start talking about things that make me physically and mentally fed up.
As a white family, we did some messed up shit. Like that might sound racist but I have seen videos of POC who are like “white people are messed up” and I agree with that because my family just be going outside in the middle of nowhere to shit in a fucking forest and sleep with the bloody insects. We used to do this a lot and I guess it was fun with my friends but like now that I have half a brain and am not made to enjoy things, I really do hate camping. I’m sorry but I just don’t see the point. You gotta pack and carry a bunch of shit and bring in to the middle of nowhere or go to a cramped site with a bunch of kids screaming and people being actually active and going on walks at like 5 in the morning and, while there are toilets, they are so stinking I feel like I contracted 10 diseases just by washing my hands. To be fair, I don’t mind if I set up a tent in my back garden, but if you expect me to bring fucking sleeping bags and a fire starter, I will in fact run away. So I can not be bothered to go camping. I would prefer to look at the stars from the comfort of my bed, looking through the window or standing outside for a sec while the kettle is on thank you very much.
I’m sorry but we need to normalise going straight to the deep stuff. And that doesn’t mean “what is your star sign” because at that point I would walk away, but I mean instead of being like “the weather is crap today isn’t it lol”, why can’t we just be like “What is your favorite childhood memory”. I know that sounds creepy as fuck and I definitely wouldn’t just go up to someone and say that, but like I hate small talk. It is so cringey and awkward and it very rarely leads to anything. We can hardly go like “yeah the weather is crap, but do you know what else is crap? The cats movie” and then go off on a whole tangent because to me it seems desperate. It is also awkward starting off small talk. I know it is kinda just to fill in the awkward silence but I honestly hate starting a small talk convo because you just be like “sooo… how are you” like what the fuck is that.
Raising a Child
To be fair, I am a wee bit away from this happening to me… I hope, and my mind will probably change but does it not sound so scary to have to push a fucking human out and then one day they just kick you out of hospital and you and whoever your partner is are just standing like, what the fuck do we do now. This is the start of their fucking life. There isn’t a big change in the world, sparkles and rainbows don’t magically appear. You have to somehow understand what the baby wants by its crying, unless you are one of those people who can somehow communicate with babies or whatever harry potter, 6th sense, fairy-tale shit you have. And I’m really sorry if I am freaking out some pregnant person out there, I am sure you will be great, but like it could not be me. You need to make sure they are fed, they are breathing, they sleep, they shit everywhere, they get bored, they cry, they live. They are a freaking tiny human and you are making up a personality and a life for this baby. It sounds awesome but like what if they turn out like a prick. What if your child is a prick or just really annoying and creepy and now you have a literal annoying person living with you and if you say anything, they turn into rebellious teens and you are just waiting until they turn 18 but that is a long fucking time. But yeah, good luck to all the parents aren’t there. At least society takes most of the blame for how mentally fucked they have become 🙂
Not Wearing Face Masks
Despite the fact a lot of people are so dramatic with face masks and literally complain every second about how they “can’t breathe” or “this is so uncomfortable”, I kinda am going to be screwed when we don’t have to wear them anymore because I do weird things with my mouth when my mask is on. I have a habit of doing that weird awkward smile all the time or just sticking my tongue out a wee tiny bit for absolutely no reason and also making tiny noises, but when I take it off I will have to remember that people can see my face and the weird shit I do with it and sometimes I can be quite expressive so what if in school someone I hate is talking shit and I just look at them with disgust and then see that I am silently judging them! I defo will be exposed but I think I’m ready for it. I don’t know why but I always feel ready to throw hands at an annoying person if I needed to or just talk shit for a straight hour. Maybe if it leads to that, I can get some of my anger out and it will get better, yay! Watch me look at everyone with a rude face and start fights everywhere lmao.
Working In The Hospital
I was gonna say working as a doctor, but I feel like it doesn’t give the other’s justice because I don’t think I could do any of their jobs. Like, when I was at hospital, the nurses were always so lovely and kind even though they had 10 old people arguing about the TV, 5 kids throwing up, 3 doctors ordering them to do things at a time and a partridge in a pear tree. They really do the most and are still happy but I cry if I burn my toast in the morning. That is a different type of hurt though. I am also watching grey’s anatomy at the moment and, firstly it is awesome, but secondly, what the actual fuck. They just all seem to know everything. This guy could come in and cough once and they would be like “oh my god he has supercalifragilisticfeefifofumI’mgettingrippedtonight. And then they know how to fix it. How do they remember all that! Seriously though can any medical person please say how you know it all instantly and stay calm when you have to save people from near death and you know every detail and name of things. It couldn’t be me. I would get stuck on how to pronounce a word and then not realise my patient is literally having a seizure right next to me. I respect you guys honestly. I also want to know if you actually do literal 48 hour shifts! Is that not literally kinda bad for you and also having to diagnose people. Do you not just cry at every single patient you see. Could not be me but thank you for volunteering as tribute *wistles*
Anyways, that’s all I can be bothered with today in all honesty. Here’s a bonus. Can I be bothered to do more? No, so yeah. But please do comment below if you have anything else to add, I always love seeing what you have to say, and make sure to like and follow for more. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.
I know a lot of my posts are usually just for the shits and giggles and I try to make light of situations going on because that’s how I express my thoughts, but there is no way this could ever be flipped into some sort of joke. There is not one thing about this that… Continue Reading →
It comes as no shock that there is currently a trial between Johnny Depp and Amber Heard. Just to clear things up, Amber Heard is an actor… mostly. But for real I have never seen or heard of her ever before. I’m pretty sure Johnny said she was on Aquaman or something. All you need… Continue Reading →
I don’t know what to call this feeling, but you know when you get a sudden realisation that this is in fact real life. Like you aren’t gonna start into a new season or a new episode of a show. You are just gonna start the next day with the same problems, the same things… Continue Reading →
This is not a drill guys! I was called yesterday by a manager of a restaurant I applied for and he booked me in for an interview on Monday. Bitch when I tell you I am shitting myself, I am quite literally shitting it. I mean did I apply for it? Yes. But it is all too real now. They are all gonna judge me and be like what is this bitch doing. And if I even get the job, I won’t be able to make friends with the other staff cause I can’t even socialize! Like I am going to be so out of place and I literally won’t be able to get everyone’s food on time or hold all the plates or talk or write down quickly. I hope they got tablets for us because I don’t think anyone could understand my writing. I have a literal doctor’s handwriting after a 24 hour shift and 200 pages signed. Like it really is that bad.
I don’t know why I am freaking out already though because I haven’t even got the job and it isn’t until Monday that I have the interview, but this is my first ever one. I don’t know what to wear and like what if I dress up too much or too little. What if I can’t hear what they are saying and I have to do that awkward shit where you ask them to say that again for the 5th time. Or what if they ask me a stupid fucking question that I didn’t prepare for and it is just me staring at them awkwardly like “oh shit”. I don’t think I am cut out to be a waitress in all honesty. I had always been excited to start a job and earn some money, but now that there is a chance that could happen, I don’t want it anymore. I am happy to just live on the streets. I’ll sneak onto a cruise and go across the world. Or maybe I will make friends with some rich old man who will let me live on his boat and when he dies I can just sail away and never have to work. To be fair though, I am looking forward to tips though, and also if there are Karen’s I can actually say something, to an extent I guess. Because when you hear them in a restaurant you literally want to shout over to them and say “watch your mouth bitch. It isn’t their fault that they don’t serve your great grandma’s famous cheese sauce”. I won’t be able to say that but like I can say something a bit passive aggressive and slabber about it later.
What I also can’t stand the thought of is being the new girl. Like what if they call me newbie for the rest of my life or if I make a mistake they will call me something like… I don’t know a nickname for that but you get what I mean. I am not ready for that. They will all have their friends already too so I will just be that awkward girl who is sweating profusely and being really quiet. I don’t want that. They could all be chavs too or like really annoying and it would be so awkward if it was just me and one other person just staring like “hey” with that awkward white person smile. I think that if I wasn’t hired, I could never go back to that restaurant ever again because that would be embarrassing as fuck, like imagine me going in and then everyone is like “look at that actual idiot that couldn’t even get into a crusty restaurant. It is a nice restaurant though but just for the purpose of this post let’s say it is crusty. It is also gonna be so awkward because when I go in I will have to be like “hey, I am here to like take your job” and then they will have to lead me to the room.
Also when I was on the call, the man sounded nice and all but he cut out for a minute and then I did understand him but like I was panicking about what he could have said and then he said what time to come down and now that I look back at it I am scared in case I got it wrong. Like what if I go in and say “hey I am here for an interview” and they are like “bitch that isn’t for another week” or “you stupid bitch, that was 2 days ago”. Like I can’t handle the embarrassment. And what if I go “hey I am here for an interview” and then they look at me like “ok? the fuck you want me to do?”. I would walk right out to be honest. After the manager had called I literally sent a fucking documentary of a rant to my friends, pretty much like this, and because I am the first one to do this, they did fuck all and I was here like wow, so much help guys thanks. And some were like “oh my I’d be shitting myself”. Yeah no shit. I also told them to apply for it and I don’t know if they have yet, but like that would be so much better. It would be bloody awkward though if they got it and I didn’t and now they are the ones alone and I am just standing awkwardly like “so… was it that scary”. I also don’t cope well under that much stress and people concentrating on me and it always shows as well. Like my face goes so red that it looks like it is about to explode and I sweat like a bitch. I slur my words and literally get sweaty ass hands, so if they go to shake it, they gonna be getting one unpleasant surprise.
So, if you haven’t noticed yet, I am terrified. If any of you guys have any tips with interviews or being a waitress, that would be really helpful to hear in the comments. And maybe if you have any of your own stories or how you felt getting your first interview that would be great. Hopefully on Monday I tell you a success story, and not an embarrassing one because I may have to just leave this planet forever. Everyone always says to “just be yourself” but I don’t like myself so why would anyone else?! I have the worst sense of humor so if I attempt a joke and they just stare at me, I am running out, or at least trying to with wobbly legs. Anyways, please send in any tips or stories, whether that is embarrassing, fun or just normal. I hope you guys have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT
I don’t know if this is the social anxiety coming out of me right now but like for real I just let others decide who I am for real. Like it’s not that I’m fake, I’m just moldable? That sounds weird as fuck but like I will change my personality to suit the person I’m… Continue Reading →
I’ve been off this blog for a while now so I thought I’d keep you updated on what I’ve been doing. Fuck all, to be honest, but one of the things that have wasted my time was watching Netflix, or more specifically, that one with the fucking long name called “the woman in the house… Continue Reading →
Please let me tell you that I am in fact a girl! I am not some man that is about to start slabbering about how women are supposed to make everyone a fucking sandwich and look after their kids while the man is at war. I also want to say that this is light-hearted and… Continue Reading →
Don’t be expecting some type of soppy shit like “the ability to love” or “empathy” because this is not it bitch. This is the honest shit and it is especially relatable if you have siblings but maybe you do still understand. For context, I have an older sister and a twin sister and I live with my mum and dad, so yeah I can’t really speak for those with younger siblings or those with brothers. Also, if you aren’t a twin, you may learn somethings about what life as a twin is like but I mean you probably don’t give a shit so I suppose we will just get into it lol.
Do you guys get it as well where like you can tell who is coming by the sound of their footsteps and how they walk down stairs and like open doors or something like that because it really is a talent. It’s pretty handy though because you know that if it is your mum or dad or an adult of some sort, you just gotta get ready for either a deep convo, shouting, or your dad coming to fix something. But then there are also the times where they just come up and say hi and stand in your room for a second and then just leave WITHOUT CLOSING THE DOOR and then you ask them to close it and they go running down the stairs like there sore back has suddenly fucking healed itself. And you just lying in bed like what the actual fuck. And it is extra random because my bedroom is on the third floor and they never come up unless they have too, but they just get a burst of energy to go up and move everything around. And then, if it is your sisters, you just getting ready to scare them or fight them, or laugh uncontrollably, or throw them out of the room. It really is a wild card to be honest but all of the choices are a lot of fun. It is weird though how you can tell people by their footsteps but I guess it is cool too
Thinking On Your Feet
You see, the thing is, when you have siblings you always want to get the last word, even if it doesn’t even make any sense, but it has to make enough sense to not get laughed at. It is quite the skill but can get really aggravating after a while because how can you end something that nobody wants to finish? It is quite the puzzle but the things you come up with are absolute comedy gold, at some times anyways. But like it kinda gets to playground come backs where you are just like “no your the idiot” or like you mumble it under your breath so they think they won but really you did, and you also do this when walking away. This kinda ties into the super hearing as well because I could be upstairs and they would be downstairs and whisper “idiot” and I would hear them. Then you have the choice of whispering it back or screaming down the stairs “I HEARD THE YOU BITCH”. The great thing about it all is that they never take offense to what you say. You could tell them they look like Donald Trump or some shit and then we would literally be on the floor laughing. The emotions change very quickly lmao
The closest that you can come to relating to this if you don’t have siblings is when you can look at your best fried from across the room and you just know what they are thinking. Like if the teacher is talking absolute shit and you just look over at your friend and they look back, it is pretty much that. An example of when this happened was when my dad was telling this absolute random story that sounded as though it was going to have a big shock factor at the end but it just was such a pointless story and then I was like “great story dad” and then he looked at me like I just insulted his mother and I just looked at my twin and we just started pissing ourselves it was so funny. I guess humor has changed a lot or something because he was not impressed. But like nowadays that is just how you talk to your friends. Sarcastically. So me and my twin were dying at how he found it offensive. Does anyone else do it where you walk into a room and your sister is there and you just stare at them straight in the eyes with a straight face for like a couple of seconds and then either just walk away or go like “boo” or scream or some crap. I feel like I am the only one that does that and it is a real bonding moment if you get me. Highly recommend.
I swear to god I literally gotta be James Bond in this hoe because you are never safe walking into another room. You never know when someone is gonna jump out at you and you gotta scan the perimeter as tough we were escorting a celebrity (I was going to say president but…) Like I literally check the crack through the door and I analyse every shadow and reflection. The biggest success is when you realise they are going to jump out so you scare them first. How the turns table. I get scared when I go out of the bathroom because that is the most vulnerable place to be in my opinion. And also you gotta be prepared for something else. This is mostly when you go in their room and usually only happens when you are younger, but you gotta look out for booby traps. I remember that when me and my twin were like 6 or something, my twin went into my sisters room to tell her dinner was ready and then a fucking encyclopedia fell from the ceiling and hit her on the head lmao. It is those moments that would make me a bad parent because I would actually be crying because it is so funny. Like absolute genius move. You can’t take things too serious in this job. This job being a sibling. That was quite the funny moment though, but I have never had it happen to me. Maybe it is more of an american thing or something. I might have to give it a try. But surely it’s a bit obvious like, if you were talking to someones door and there is just a pile of books and you can see your sister looking evil and about to laugh, I don’t think it will work anymore. Guess we gotta find out. IT WORKED LMAO
That isn’t really a superpower but I didn’t really know how to word it. Basically what I mean is that you know when to pick your battles and you can change your objectives in a second. For example, I could be talking shit right in front of them, but if I hear anyone say the littlest thing, they will be body slammed by me. Like no matter who they are or what they say, I will be coming for them you know. Like the confidence comes from nowhere it’s literally crazy. I myself am a socially awkward bitch, but you know I’m about to cause a scene if needs be. Can’t nobody treat my sister with anything less than love. Don’t test me bitches because it may seem like I hate them but in reality they mean the world to me and I will do what it takes for her to get the respect she deserves. So yeah, whatever superpower that is. Is it shape shifting? Or like a hulk thing where you just get all the power in the world? Who knows? Who cares?
Anyways, these are just a few of the powers you get when you are a sister. They can vary from family to family I suppose but these are the most relatable ones that I know. If there are any things you and your siblings do, or your family in general, go ahead and comment down below, I would love to see what you guys do and I might mention them in my next post. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.
I’m sorry, but between my last post and this one, we have literally gone through a war. That’s not even a joke sadly enough. Corona is kinda fading away (except the Queen has joined the Corona Club) but then we gotta keep the drama… Continue Reading →
From the perspective of a 16-year-old girl, I would have to say yes, texts are a ticking time bomb. Call me old fashioned, but honestly, I don’t trust that shit. They are so unpredictable. Now I could lie to you and say that is… Continue Reading →
This could possibly be my most dumb fucking post because I know I’m about to sound like I’m some sort of old bitch who just discovered the internet, but honestly, I just think of a lot of random crap and I like to share… Continue Reading →
Now please don’t think I’m some sort of alien conspiracy bitch, like I understand that plants are a living thing because I went to school (not in the USA) and did biology (again, not in the USA) so I would say I know a… Continue Reading →
POV: it’s Saturday. You are with a friend on the train and because we are so spontaneous we say “hey, why don’t we go to Botanic instead?”. You feel crazy because you are now getting off one stop later, what a rush. You go… Continue Reading →
I don’t know if the american’s are taking over our school or what, but they decided to do a wee school newspaper. I thought that sounded cool and I was interested in reading it, but on the front cover, there were a few things that got me thinking ya know. Just a few points I would have changed completely, just to bring the truth back you know. But yeah, lets get started,
At the bottom of the cover it said ‘we wanted to give the pupils an outlet to express their opinions, interests and passions’. I just wanted to ask, who put the gun to that writers head because that was a pile of shit. Also don’t worry, we haven’t been fully converted to the american ways so I was talking about a metaphorical gun. Just so you guys know. Anyways, lets get back on track. From my many years of experience, school really has done fuck all for our interests and passions, and don’t even get me started on our opinions. You should see their bloody face whenever we give our opinion on something. It is literally a scene from a horror movie. Even in English class whenever your analysis is basically 100% made up and what you think it is, there is still a right and a wrong answer. They could literally write a movie about how someone gave a separate opinion in English and then the teacher killed them with her stare. They seem so offended, but like you don’t even know what the fucking answer is because they teach you fuck all. That isn’t even a joke. My English teachers literally always say “this has to be pupil lead, ok. I can’t teach you this, you need to do it yourself”… Why the fuck are you here then? Seriously? Because for the past 30 minutes I have been travelling into the darkest areas of my brain, just to figure out why the fuck they put a “and” in the middle of the sentence. The amount of shit I come up with really is worrying, but they expect us to know everything about the text, despite the fact we don’t give a fuck. And that is the truth. My teacher was literally like “why does the host sing” and we were like, I don’t know, and she was like “well obviously because he was part of a choir in the 1960’s. That is so obvious guys, because it says in the book ‘hello’. You really need to try guys”. I don’t even know what to say anymore because shit is flying everywhere, but there is not a fuck in sight. Do the teachers actually believe what is coming out of their mouth or is it a universal joke, because if it is, it isn’t funny anymore. Why can’t I enjoy a book of a movie without having to think of the word placement!
The title of the school newspaper is also called “the student voice” but like we aren’t even talking about our opinions really and it is only a one off thing. They really said, “smile for the camera” and then throw us back in the bin afterwards. Like I 100% know that at the next open morning they will have a fucking field day talking about how they really wanted to hear our opinions and that they are such an accepting school, and all the parents are going to die for it. Then there is just us at the back, not taking any of the crap they are saying. It kinda makes me laugh though because we literally have no voice in anything. Yes they are good at asking us, but it goes in one ear and out the other and you can tell on their face that they don’t give a crap what you have to say. You could be crying like “school is so stressful and I feel like it needs to be more organised with homework and tests and over all support with mental health” and they will give you the creepy smile and say “ok. Who is next?” as though we are a fucking McDonalds drive through.
I do have to admit though, my school (which shall not be named~Voldemort :0) is quite good to us. Most of the teachers are nice, once you get past 3rd year of course, and it isn’t too bad in terms of school life. It isn’t perfect but it is the systems fault and they don’t have a lot of control over that part. They are fairly inclusive I have to admit and I am glad to go there… Why the fuck did this just turn into an ad for my school. Watch me read this on opening day lol. But yeah anyways, I just thought the newspaper was a bit of a massive lie which is a tad bit funny. I think if I were to write something in the newspaper I would write about something like “what do you do when you run out of fucks to give” or “how to dodge the bullshit”. Those sound like self-help books that I wanna read to be honest lol, but I don’t think my school would allow the inappropriate language. So sorry about that loves. They literally die over 2 earrings or if you have one strand of dyed hair, so maybe my taste in content is a tad too much for them at the moment.
Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this content because I feel this was quite the relatable one. Wish me luck also because I have my Chemistry and Spanish test today and I am supposed to be studying that right now, but if you read yesterdays post, you will know that I am right on schedule. Believe it or not, this blog is my way of trying to escape school so maybe I can make money from this instead, but we will have to see. It is fun anyways, so if I end up at a 9-5 office job I can just do this on the computer instead of actual work. Please like, comment and subscribe if you like this content and I will see you tomorrow with even more. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT
I have made a few story times in my blog. Many of which are so bad I will probably never show my face to you guys, ever. But, as I am never going to show my face, I may as well tell you some other times that I want erased from my mind and everyone elses.
This one has literally been burned into my mind and everyone reminds me of it at random moment, just as I forget about it. So it was in first year. I was waiting outside of Latin (I know it sounds so fancy but it was crap) and it was a really busy corridor. And for some reason I was leaning against the wall with my legs out a bit and then I ducking slipped. As is that wasn’t bad enough, it was in front of a bloody teaser and they just looked at me with disgust and was like “get up of the floor”. So as if it wasn’t embarrassing enough being a first year, I had to slip in front of everyone smh
Right, so when I was younger, maybe p7 or something, I did karate. I was a proper pro so I went to competitions and at one point you had to fight someone, with gloves obviously, but that’s besides the point. So my coach was like, can you fill in for someone in their fight, and I was like of course because 1, he could literally beat me up and 2, it was fun. So here I was walking to the fight and I was like where is everyone? I look down and there they were. Literal foetuses. I looked at my mum like “is this even fucking legal” and it was so bad. I could have inialated them, but I had no clue what to do and it was so crap. I quit not long after that lol
The Tea Was Too Hot
This moment was literally so painful. So my mum made us go and meet her cousin when I was like 12 or something. I was so awkward as a kid but when she asked me about my teachers I was now a literal extrovert because there was finally something I could say about. There was this teacher that was really strict and that people were scared of, it was a Latin teacher actually, and I was telling her about the teacher. She looks at my mum and goes “ THE *teachers name*” and my heart dropped. Tell me why, out of the billions of people on this earth, this bitch had to be the teachers stepdaughter. So I just told her that everyone was scared of her mum. I can never forget this.
Zoom Call Disaster
Here I was, another day on online school. It was the last lesson before we got of for 1 week. So k was excited and exhausted you know. And by this point I was sick of the awkward silence whenever she asked something so I was like, I’m just gonna get this I over with. So I waited for someone else to go first and then I eventually spoke. No joke, someone else spoke at the exact same time as me, so it was just a second of us speaking over each other and I died inside. And I never spoke on zoom again.
Goodbyes Are Always Difficult
I think this was like 5 years ago, but I had been part of a club called ‘Guides’ with my friends. For Americans, it is basically girl scouts but sexist. They taught us to like clean and cook you know. But yeah, we wanted to quite, so at the end of our last guides holiday, they were asking us what we wanted to do in guides next year and we were like, we are kinda going to quit. Let’s just say our timing was not good because they talked to us for ages and we had to spend the rest of that day, and the hour car ride home, listening to their passive aggressive comments. What made it more embarrassing was that when they were asking us if we were leaving, I was like “well we are thinking about it but probably we might 100% be leaving”. Why am I such an awkward bitch?
Anyways, that was embarrassing so please feel free to comment if something similar has happened to you or whether you have other embarrassing stories. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT
Right so this isn’t for all places of course, “not all trains”, but for my experiences, everything I say here is the truth.
First of all, lets just mention how fucking stressful trains are. I mean I have to rehearse my order before I bloody order it and I still mess it up. They just look at you behind the desk as though you turned there day into shit and I just be like lol sorry. But here is the thing. Today I was on the train and I had bought my ticket at the train station and I had it in my phone case because it was clear. Then the wee train conductor was like can I see your ticket and I showed him my phone case. He had the AUDACITY to say “that isn’t a ticket” and with proper attitude but I just looked at him like bitch you better shut the fuck up. I had to take it outta my phone and show it as though it was a hidden artifact. I mean he was such a passive aggressive child and I was like would I really be someone to make a fake phone case. I mean he thought he was such a detective.
And I don’t know if they all bloody hate their jobs or what because they give you such a dirty look when you get money out of your wallet and they just sigh and act as though their life depends on the next few seconds. But then sometimes they just have mood swings and the next they are getting money out of their wee bag and making it a field trip because they be looking in their for ages and come out with like 50 p. They be making awful jokes and think they are the bees knees. I have to say that at some points you can get a nice one but they won’t take your bullshit. They won’t take the bullshit that isn’t even there and you are just over thinking your life. They don’t help with anxiety that is to be sure and you have no clue what to say because the utter crap that comes out of their mouth is something else.
Then when I got out of the train to go home, the doors closed a split second before a boy got to them and the train conductor was right at the door. The boy was literally like can you open this because he was a millisecond late and the man was right there and the guy was like no we can’t even do that and was basically laughing in his face. Then the train drove off with plenty of time for that kid to get in. I mean they really aren’t people persons and I don’t know why they took the job. I also remember that one time I got a return ticket and on my return I actually ended up just going to one station after what I supposed to take and then the worker came up as the train stopped at the station I was getting off. I showed the ticket and I was like I need to get off now though. Tell me why this guy literally went off the train for our tickets and waited for like 5 mins to make us pay for it and then he bloody overcharged us and I am like, is there absolutely no human decency. And now, I know that there are nice train men because I have got a few nice ones, but there are a majority of them that are so scary and really just make my blood boil, and this is from a non-Karen. I am not complaining to the manager but these are just some of the stories that have just annoyed me to be honest. I don’t know if it is because we are teenagers or if they all just happen to have a bad day but I get scared on them and I never seem to get it right. They be like our mums when they check if your room is clean and they literally check for every spec of dust.
But yeah, they are just a few of my stories from the train. Well, just today’s stories actually but yeah. Hope you enjoyed this and feel free to comment below any train stories you guys have had. Maybe it is just NI but I don’t know. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.
When we grow up, we are told that doctors, teachers, lawyers and politicians are important. That, if we want to get an impactful job, these are the ones to go for. But I have been thinking lately, because a couple of years back I had been talking to someone working in my house and something clicked with me.
So, a cheeky wee story time guys. We had a man over who was covering up a huge hole in our wall and doing the plastering and stuff, whatever you call it. My mum made him a cuppa tea and told me to bring it up to him and, being the EXTREMELY extroverted character I was happy to help but no, he was actually nice LOL. Anyways, so here I was, going up the stairs and I was like “tea question mark”:o and he was like “yup” :/. But then as I was going down the stairs we were just having a wee chit chat and he was like “what age are you?” so I slapped him on the face and ran away because stranger danger. No, sorry I will stop with the jokes. But I was like “15” and he was like “do you know what you want to do when you grow up” and I was like “have a life”. Ok sorry that was my last one I swear. I said a police woman maybe and he was like “that’s good. Just stay in school so you don’t end up doing plastering like me”. And that is when it clicked in my head. I wish I had said this to him but then again I was like 30 years younger and half his height so I didn’t want to look stuck up giving a pep talk to an adult. But what I realised is that he thinks his job is unimportant and that it should be avoided, but the thing is, if there were no plasterers, then everybody’s house would go to utter shit. If we didn’t have him to help us, my dad would have ended up doing a crap job at it and our house would be ugly as fuck (sorry dad). So who’s to say his job isn’t important but I know that I am greatful for his work because now our house looks nice again. Yes, maybe the whole world can’t tell that but sometimes helping one person can make a big difference in their life.
And another thing similar to this is like when someone has to work at McDonalds or a store for the rest of their lives. Yes, maybe they may not have wanted to this, but we can’t judge them for it because they make that business work. We couldn’t have a shop without a cashier or someone to restock the shelves because nothing would go the way it is supposed to. They may not seem like glamorous jobs but they are so important. We kind of just gotta look at the big picture of things because a lot of times people don’t realise how much someone means to them until they are gone. So if all the Tesco’s workers disappeared, we would be freaking out because now we don’t know where things are. We can’t return anything, all the shelves are empty, people are stealing things, causing fights, there are messes everywhere. So whether you are a worker out there who feels like there job doesn’t make an impact, just think of what would happen if you all disappeared. Let’s even say you cut the grass for a living. If all of you disappeared, there would be gardens that would grow so disgustingly long that the street isn’t pretty anymore. So many things are growing and crawling in there and they feel disappointed in their garden. But the fact that you guys are here means that people can look outside and feel proud of the place they live in. People driving by will see the street and think, damn, that is beautiful, right? And to those who judge people who don’t have a typical ‘important’ job, just know that the job they do is obviously important and if we didn’t have them we would really struggle, so have some compassion and thank them for their work because they are so important for how the community functions.
So I hope that meant something to someone. It really is true. Every job has importance and although it may be not be obvious at first thought, just think what would happen if your job didn’t exist. What would happen? What would that change for people? How would the world look? No matter the job, people will appreciate you. I mean I still appreciate the plasterer even after a couple of years because no my house, my home, is comfortable and complete. Keep your heads up and don’t let anyone put you done. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.
Guilt is a complicated thing. It can show itself in my different ways, at many different times and many different places. However, what always stays the same is that sinking feeling in your stomache.
There are things you feel guilty about just because you are a normal human being and make mistakes. For example, if accidentally hurt someones feelings, or if you accidentally hurt someone by, for example, tripping them up. These things are so simple and usually insignificant, yet for some people it can largely affect your day. I can’t speak for everyone, but I know that, for me, I wouldn’t forgive myself for ages if I did something on accident. I always felt as though they secretly despised me for it, even if it was a small thing like I lost their pencil or spoke over them for a split second. And I feel this can be a positive thing in some ways until it occurs to much. I would make sure that I would never do that again and would make sure I was very careful, or I would try anything for that person to say that they forgive me. It helped my manners but I know that at some points it went too far, and for others, even worse. The feeling of guilt just sticks with you and it is an awful thing because you just need to get it away. People can end up being so overwhelmed that they live in a state of fear because they are so scared they will make a mistake. This type of guilt can be uncontrollably blown out of proportion yet seems so normal for others. I mean if you do something ‘wrong’ you should fix it. But at what cost?
And this feeling of guilt has been wound into us in so many areas of life. I mean in school they use guilt to make you work harder or act a certain way. Yes, it can seem harmless but depending on the child, it can change their whole way of thinking. I mean if you tell a child that their parents would be disappointed in them just because they acted in a certain way, will not only make them embarrassed but also guilty because, in some way, they have just done something their parents would be angry about. And in school they can drown you in accusations, like how you ruin the class for everyone and disrupt everyone’s future, just because they can’t live in that same environment as everyone. It destroys our confidence and eats away at us. I mean nobody like to hear that they have embarrassed their parents or to be responsible for somebody else’s future.
Guilt is a complicated thing yet is so simple to use. There are so many people that manipulate you into feeling this guilt for something that isn’t worth the worry or for something that you didn’t even do. And people in abusive relationships, whether that be friendship or in a couple, they can control you with this because we the feeling of guilt is so horrible and debilitating because we will do almost anything to get it away. It almost acts as a shield from the truth as well because we start to over think all the little things until we believe what the other person says.They could say that you ruined their life or make them feel so sad, as a way to make you do certain things for them. And it would be hard not to believe those things because you want the best for them and would change yourself in order for them to be happy. Manipulation can target anything but guilt is a really strong feeling which almost always gets the job done and it is so sad because these people are being fed lies and their emotions are too strong for them to understand the truth.Guilt just blocks everything out from the moment you are in and leaves you vulnerable to so many things.
There is something that I feel guilty about at certain times of the year and I am not really sure why. It always happens whenever it is someones birthday, mother’s day, father’s day, or big holidays like Christmas. At the end of that day I always feel guilty as if they didn’t have the best day or didn’t enjoy it. I mean even if my mum does the dishes on her birthday I get really upset that she didn’t have the day she deserved. I mean if happened this Christmas as well because everything was different, obviously, and there are some things we didn’t do that we usually would like board games and then I felt as though that was all my fault and that I kind of ruined it for everyone, even though I didn’t really do anything. And on someones birthday I just wonder if it could have been better and if I could have done something to change it.
Guilt comes in so many ways and in so many situations and for me it truly is one of the worst things to fail. And I mean it isn’t always a bad thing because it just helps us to learn but I feel like, as well as everything in this world, too much is not good. I mean it can change the way you live, the way you act and the way to think. And it is hard to remember in that moment that it isn’t the end of the world. I mean you haven’t done the worst thing in the world and at the end of the day you just need to remember that so many other people have probably done the same thing and it most likely won’t affect you in the future.
One of the things that made me feel the most guilty was by accident and literally was such a coincidence. So I was playing with the Nerf rebel guns because, well I was just that damn cool, and I was like ‘do you know what would be so cool? If I did a diving shot’. So I did, I hid behind the jungle-gym, loaded the gun, and just dove and pointed the Nerf gun in his general direction. My luck was not having it that day and I shot him in the eye. Literally I don’t know what the chances of that happening was and to this day I cringe and feel so guilty about it. He didn’t go blind or anything and nothing bad happened but I felt so guilty because obviously I didn’t want that to happen. Let’s just say I never played with a Nerf gun again. Jeez, even typing this makes me want to literally die. Also, if that kid is reading this, I am so sorry, but I mean at least you can read.
But see, we all make mistakes and sometimes it is the accidents that feel the worse. We just need to slow done for a second and forgive ourselves if we know we didn’t mean it. It is also important to learn how to tell if people are making you feel guilty for no reason. If they are just trying to control you because it can be really dangerous and you don’t deserve to feel the guilt they made you feel.
Thank you so much for reading, please like, follow and donate some money if you can, I really want to keep all of my content free for everyone. Check out some of the deals I have and also this money making app that I use. Hope you have a great day, stay safe, and stay yourself PERIODT.
It has been a week since I posted the part 1 so go check that out now and come back to this one after, I mean if you want, I guess it doesn’t really matter. Here is the link anyways – Part one. Anyways, let’s get into it. Last time I talked mostly about the teachers and the other people in the school, this time I am going to talk more about the work and tests.
Right, so when going from primary school to secondary school, you are gonna see a bit of a change. There won’t be any cut ‘n’ sticks, or any colouring in. It’ll be more like essays, tears and bullshit. I remember when I was in first year and I was guiding some parents around for the new year coming in soon and they were like ‘so what would you say the homework is like in first year, is there a lot? Is it hard?’ and I just looked at them like what the fuck am I supposed to say to that :/. This was the quickest I have thought in my lifetime, and I was like ‘it’s alright. I mean of course there is more than in primary school but the teachers are understanding if you have an excuse to hand it in later’. Bitch my acting was on point. That whole line was as fake as the girls in my year. I mean I was impressed by myself. Although don’t stress guys, it is literally the first year and they only put stress on you to see how good you really are. To be honest, a majority of them were drawing posters. Like no joke, the amazon rain forest was quaking with the amount of paper I had to use. So I guess it is a transition period in terms of homework. Personally I would recommend to not get too stressed about homework because as long as it hand it in on the day, they will think you are great. And besides, if you don’t do so well, it won’t go towards anything. Just use this year as a way to find out who you are and how you work best. For me, and this is gonna sound nerdy, I do my homework the day I get them. I have done that since the day I started and it helps me not get too stressed and I definitely recommend but I guess it depends on your lifestyle. As you can probably tell, I was not too social but we move.
I am gonna have to be honest, the first year exams are not as laid back as the 2nd year ones. This is only because in the first year you kinda want to make an impression but in 2nd year you don’t need any of the grades and nobody really cares how you do. And you need to know that the first year stuff may seem really hard now, but trust me, in the future you will know it like the back of your hand. By third year, I didn’t even have to look at the first-year stuff because we did it so much. You will get sick of it, to be honest, but you gotta do what you gotta do. For me, I was stressing for all of the exams and literally was too worried about them. If I could tell my younger self something I would definitely tell them that your social life and mental health and 100 times more important than schoolwork. I mean you can’t be good at everything. A few bad grades don’t mean anything, especially when you are having a fun time. Anyways, on exam week, I do have to tell you, the school feels like a completely different place. I mean I would come into school as though it was my first day again and I was proper sweating as though this determined my life. By the way, it does fuck all for your future. Oh and also, I don’t know why but no matter how much you eat on the day of the exams, your stomach will be rumbling or making weird digestion noises. Yes they are very embarrassing and in third year I would literally be shaking the whole room. Don’t ask me why that happens but just know that it happens to the best of us.
OK, so for the last comment in today’s ‘what to expect’, let’s talk about the actual work in class. Here is just a pre-warning. Your back will become deceased. Maybe not at the start of the year, but at the end you will have back problems so make use of a locker if you can. It may seem inconvenient but use it because all the older years who may not get one are very jealous and, to be respectful, I would use it. You will miss it when it is gone. Chances are you will also get folders for all of your classes, and yes this will make you feel very grown-up, but don’t let it get to your head. Holding them in your arms, even though you have room in your bag, does not make you look cool. When you are older you will get massive ones called lever arch files that actually way a tone and you physically can’t put them in your bag. Trust me, we don’t want to be holding them, and we won’t judge you for not holding a file, I mean, if anything, we envy you. But to the actual work now. The things you are learning now are gonna be retaught for at least the next three years of your life. You can take that as a reassurance that it doesn’t really matter if you don’t understand it now, or you can just take it as a warning for boredom. You will be learning stuff on top of that obvious but they will be talked about a lot. A majority of the work is OK but I think the hardest thing is that you have so many more subjects than just Maths, English and PE. For some, you will find awesome subjects that you love, and for others, you will find subjects that you detest and sleep in. That’s OK because you are just trying to find the ones you are interested in. In my first year of school we had to do Latin, don’t ask me why, but I would nearly cry every time from the sheer boredom. I mean I find a lot of subjects useless already, but learning a dead language was next-level pain. So overall, I just want to get you to know that, this year is going to be scary and hard for a lot of you but please don’t get too scared because when you look back on it you are gonna laugh at all the things you thought or did. Let yourself make those mistakes, or memories as I like to call them, and just remember that it will all get better. And take that from me, a person who had a really really tough time in my first year. If you wanna read more about it you can read it here. This year will pass and it will be different for many, but no matter what you know or don’t know yet, you will eventually catch up with everyone. I remember we would do wee quizzes that everyone did well in, everyone except me, but the first year, I would say, is mostly about getting everyone to the same level. Try not to get too stressed and know that you can comment any struggle you are having, or have had, on this post, or dm me on Instagram @periodtblogs
Thank you so much for reading this. Don’t forget to like, follow and donate some money because I really want to make all of my content free for everyone. Also go check out the discount codes I have for awesome shops. Hope you have a great year in school and try not to fit in too much, just be yourself and others will follow PERIODT.
Why does this make me sound like a viral blogger. Part 1 lol. There are many things that you learn when you go into high school. Some expected things and some… unexpected things. And now you are gonna learn about some of them in the form of a story. Although I wont tell you everything because there are some things you need to learn for yourself.
The Hard Truth
So when you I went into high school, I think it would be accurate to say that I became very self-conscious. I mean, at some points I felt completely ignored, and at others I felt like I couldn’t get the eyes of me (p.s. I know they weren’t looking at me because of my looks, trust me). Everyone looked like an absolute giant and it was weird because you came from being the ‘old, mature’ ones in primary school to being the ‘weird, tiny’ ones in high school. My sister had been in 3rd year by this point, so therefore she was in the last of her annoying years. (yes there are the annoying years 1,2 and 3). But I would be like why are you always so mean to me in school. Like I would literally walk to my class alone or breathe near her and she would shove me and laugh at me. Now, don’t expect this from everyone, don’t worry, it was only that she is my sister so don’t worried about being pushed… on purpose anyways. Me and my friends always would play out in the ‘playground’ as though it was still primary school. I mean we never ran, we knew that much, but we had different phases of just being loud and obnoxious. At one point we also played with bouncy balls, yes I know, don’t judge me. But that was what everyone, in my year, would be loving. And there is a 1st year garden that is literally the worst thing. We thought we were all so special because we had our own private area. No. Just no. It was technically like a zoo exhibit. Everyone looking in at you. And no, they are not jealous. I am now in 5th year, nearly in lower 6th, and I know now that everyone in any of the years above will not like you. Now I am sorry to say that and it is nothing personal, it is just, stereotypically, 1st years are bloody annoying. Like, it is just something about them. No matter what they do, breathe, walk, look at you, you just find it aggravating. But the good thing about that is that you can use it to your advantage. No matter what you do, they will find you annoying, so, just use this year to do what you want and learn what is ‘acceptable’ in your school. It is different for every school but there are certain things you will get bullied about. But don’t worry that people will remember what stuff you did because they wont remember. They all have better things to think about, well, unless what you did is really embarrassing, but eventually nobody will really care. As long as you start to mature and know your place in the school, the others wont bother you and will start to judge the new ones. And trust me, you will look back on yourself and be like, I cannot believe I did that. How was I not beat up? But then you laugh and move on. So does everyone else. I can’t really remember a single embarrassing thing anyone else has done even though everyone has done something. So use this year to your advantage I suppose and try not to take anyone too seriously. They don’t know you so it isn’t personal.
Have I Mentioned The Teachers?
Damn, this one is tough. You know what, I could probably just cut and past the last paragraph. I am sorry but… the teachers hate 1st years too. But it is so funny because some hide it better than others. One of my math teachers would shout at us so much. No matter what we did, she would hate it. But then one day this 5th year came into our class and was having a conversation and asking what she would like for lunch as though they were best mates. I swear to god that woman changed in a flash. I watched him leave in awe. How the hell did he like her? How did he not get shouted at? And this was one of the teachers who puts their had on their desks, looks up slowly while taking their glasses of and screams. Yup. I was so shocked. But now, I don’t have her as my teacher, but some of my friends do and they literally say she is so nice. Like it is so weird. It is as though 1st years give off a bad smell, which you don’t, that just makes everyone mad. It is funny. My geography teacher is the nicest man on the earth and he gets on so well with all of the older students. But you should see him when he talks about the 1st years he just had. Like he just looks so frustrated and for no reason. And then for the teachers who seem like they like you. Maybe some of them do. I am sure there are teachers out their who like 1st years. But look, when you get older and become friendlier with the teachers, they tell you stuff. They just show another side of themselves that you never saw a few years ago. I remember my class was talking to a teacher once and they were saying how they can’t handle the 1st years and we were like ‘awk, well you loved us didn’t you?’ and she just made a face and moved on. Yeah, it really hits you how annoying you used to be. But I guess it is probably because you are still wired to the primary school way of living, and trust me, they didn’t teach primary school for a reason. It may take some longer to get wired to the high school life, but you’ll get their eventually and you wont be so scared of some of the teachers. Did you know they actually are humans too and actually are funny and kind :0 ? Wow, who would have thought.
So that is all I am going to warn you about today, but make sure to like and follow so you don’t miss the next parts coming out soon. Trust me, you will need to hear this. But just remember guys that everyone goes through this and it is all part of the process. Please donate some money to keep my content free for everyone and enjoy everyday as it comes because you don’t realize you are in the good days until you have left them PERIODT.