See, I don’t really like it when people are cheeky to me. I mean you can be upfront and shout at me and I’ll be fine with that. My sisters have conditioned me to that. But if you are being passive aggressive or cheeky in front of me or behind my back, I won’t hesitate to fight.
No this isn’t coming out of the blue guys, but something I did yesterday kinda got my blood boiling if you get me. Anyways, here I was at my friend’s house for moral support because I was about to call my work and be like “hey girl so for medical and educational reasons I’m not gonna be able to work more than 8 hours a week but obviously I can work more on holidays thanks”, and here my manager does the longest sigh ever, literally I could almost smell her stinking breathe it was that loud, and I was like shit what is about to happen. Then this bitch really stops the sigh and goes “that’s not really helpful for us”
😮 Did I ask?! No I think the fuck I didn’t so why the hell did you have to say that. Would you prefer I didn’t work any hours? Do you want me to quit because I’ll be more than happy to get out of this bitch. Like I actually don’t even like work. When I tell you I was shocked, I mean I was back-from-war-tazer-in-the-back shocked. I still am at the moment tbh.
But anyways, after that, I paused because I was in denial at that stage or something and then I was just like “Ummm well… It’s for medical reasons as well” because my doctor told me to say that so she legally couldn’t fire me for it (I also wouldn’t care if she did because then id use and never have to work again, I’m not too proud to miss that opportunity bitch) and here she was acting all nice again, miss cheeky bitch tryna get on my good side again. Like I actually have to go to work with her today and if she comes up to me and starts talking shit, I will happily throw hands. I mean I’m terrified of her too, let’s not get ahead of ourselves, but she barely knows me and doesn’t know how hard I can hit. BTW this is a joke don’t be calling the police
Anyways yeah that happened and it really made me realise how much I HATE, despise, loath, work. Do I get paid minimum wages to only get a 20 min break during illegal hours?! I think the fuck not. Like I have enough money saved to get my ass out of that hoe and I only stay cause I want my parents to be proud of me lol. But you have to admit what she said was petty uncalled for. Like it was not necessary. I actually despise the working world and it sucks the little bit of life and dignity inside of me.
So what do you guys reckon I should do? Quit or just realise that this is life. Also if anyone is like a law person, is there any way I could use for doing illegal hours with only a 20 minute break. I mean that would be ideal lol. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.
I haven’t posted in a while, obviously, and I ain’t gonna explain why because it’s more boring than you think. It’s not like I went on a fucking trip to the Bahamas despite the fact I hope to go there some day if corona ever goes away. But anyways, a lot has happened like me … Continue reading Train wreck of thought
Now, I can’t really talk for the guys on this topic because, being a girl, I have never been to a guys sleepover and no matter how old I am, my mother will never ever let me go to one. So if this is different for guys, if you even play sleepover games, do please … Continue reading Sleepover Games Are Sh!t | Let’s Discuss It
First of all, to the people who are in the comments right now saying “It’s makeup and I, not makeup and me” literally take you Hermione Granger ass outside or “I” will personally make Jeff Bezos land his fucking dick rocket on you. I mean would you slate Marley and Me for the grammar issue? … Continue reading Makeup and Me
Now, I can’t really talk for the guys on this topic because, being a girl, I have never been to a guys sleepover and no matter how old I am, my mother will never ever let me go to one. So if this is different for guys, if you even play sleepover games, do please comment below. I also want you to know that I am not talking about games as in COD or whatever the fuck it is you play now. I’m talking about the generic games like “would you rather” or “truth or dare”. NEVER pillow fights or some shit that movies make you think we do. It is not stylish at all. Not for me anyways. I sit in my baggiest clothes with my hair in a mess and a half dried facemask on that looks like I’ve got a weird skin infection. Not the nicest image is it lads?
My thing with sleepover games is that they literally never end up the way you want them to. Like the person who is always like “omg lets play a game” obviously has something to say. It might just be they know something we havent told them or they want to get our attention. Like they’d be like
Person 1 – “ok, let’s play truth or dare! Sarah, truth or dare”
Sarah – “mmm, dare”
P 1 – are you sure? I think I heard that you have to do a truth and then…
Sarah – nope, I’m picking a dare
P 1 – ok fine then. I DARE you to tell me why the fuck you were sleeping with my boyfriend!
This isn’t talking from experience but like I know that it is like this for others. And even if it isn’t being played to attack someone, nobody ever has any fucking idea what to ask. Like we really only have one question and it either ends in 10 minute breaks between people asking the “would you rather” or you would be searching some up on google only to find that basically nobody on the internet knows any either. Sure you can find a few, but they are either so fucking bad that I would rather watch Riverdale, or so inappropriate that I could imagine a literally creepy old man writing them. Like I am comfortable around my friends but what the actual fuck is that.
I can never think of questions and even when I do, depending on the game, I can’t even play it fairly because my twin is always in my friend group. So if I were to play 2 truths and a lie, I would only be able to play on certain ones and even then one of us might give it away or call me out for not telling the whole thing perfectly. It do be a problem and I remember in 1st year when we would do all the ice breaker shit and we did the 2 truths and a lie and when either of us was saying ours, the other would feel like such a main character. Just try to imagine a 13 year old smiling way to much trying to see if anyone notices that she knows the answer and can’t even play on this round. I felt so elite and would stare out the window as though it was such a struggle to exist under these rules where I couldn’t even participate in getting to know everyone. It’s hilarious to think back on but now, if we ever do it, it is annoying as fuck and if the teacher is like “oh, make sure you don’t give it away lol” I will quite literally leave the school.
And I don’t know if this is just my friend group but like it always ends in us all having a really heart felt moment where we are all just letting out our deepest darkest secrets. It basically goes like this
P1 – Never have I ever… peed in the woods
P2 – OH MY DAYS you are sooooo silly
P3 – I don’t even want to answer that LOL
*1 hour later*
P2 – Never have I ever felt happiness since the day I saw my cat get run over
*drowning in tears*
P1 – I get you. We are here for you
P3 – Does it count if it was my nan instead of a cat?
I do like that though because you get to know everyone better and it feels natural. Again having a twin makes that more awkward especially if you are talking about relationships because you don’t want to hear about their life outside of your world. Like it doesn’t sit right and it never will. Or like if you are talking about how you found something difficult and you tell a story, the other might be like “you are so dramatic that wasn’t even that bad” and they go on to say what happened despite the fact you both see things differently. And then afterwards it’s kind of like when you say bye to someone but then your car is in the same direction so it’s really awkward. I mean we literally did just expose ourselves and now I just have to see her every time I open my doors and it is awkward for a bit.
Anyway, that is kinda what I had to say. If you have anything else that you would like to comment or add to this post, please do leave a comment because I love hearing from you guys. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.
See, I don’t really like it when people are cheeky to me. I mean you can be upfront and shout at me and I’ll be fine with that. My sisters have conditioned me to that. But if you are being passive aggressive or cheeky in front of me or behind my back, I won’t hesitate … Continue reading I’m not above a fight
The answer is no, but it is also a bit more complicated than that. Do I like the first day of school where everything is new, you get the new time tables, new classes, new teachers? Yes, you could say that. But in general, I really could not be arsed to go back. Lately when … Continue reading Back To School. Could I be bothered?
Because I am SUCH an expert in this field, I am going to talk about all aspects. That directly translates to, I think about this shit a lot and think it would be weird to have “eyebrows, eyelashes, eyes and under eyes” in the title. So I guess we’ll get into it, but first I’m … Continue reading Do You Know What’s Weird? Eyes
First of all, to the people who are in the comments right now saying “It’s makeup and I, not makeup and me” literally take you Hermione Granger ass outside or “I” will personally make Jeff Bezos land his fucking dick rocket on you. I mean would you slate Marley and Me for the grammar issue? I hope the fuck not so just back off Karen. But yeah, lets talk about how I attempt makeup all the time and it never looks good. Like whoever said that practise makes perfect, was an ignorant bitch.
So why am I bringing up this topic? It’s relevant but also out of the blue so like what is the problem? Well, basically I was getting ready for a party and I was putting on some makeup, as one does. And then for some reason I had the bright idea that I might use eyeliner for the 2nd time in my life. Now saying it is the 2nd time makes it a bit anticlimactic, but the first time was a shit show and it was ages afterwards so like I couldn’t have learned from my mistakes. But yeah, as you can tell, the eyeliner didn’t go well and for some reason I have good eyeliner and this hoe wasn’t coming of for nobody so while I managed to improve it, I was still looking like a raccoon. Not ideal as you could imagine. But like out of the two times I felt the motivation to give it a go, they were both when I was running out of time and going somewhere I want to look good. Like it was not ok. I don’t know why when I am rushing I just think that a bit of adventure would be fun. This is coming from the person who needs a fucking fan group to get enough motivation to brush my teeth. Like make it make sense.
Moving on… I also have to say that I don’t do makeup for just me. No, I don’t do it for the guys. I’m not that kinda bitch. I do it for everyone. Out of the kindness of my heart. Because I know for a fact that if you caught me without my eyebrows or mascara or concealer, it would be like you were in the conjuring or some shit. Like I look scary. I am pale as fuck, I have under eyes as dark as night and my eyebrows are just out of the question. It is not a pretty sight, trust me. I remember when I was younger and woke up at night and had a sore stomache so I would go tell my mum and when I opened the door my mum would jump out of her skin. I look like a fucking ghost and I have to live with that. Sure they say I just snuck up on them, but I know how I look. A creepy child in her pjs, half asleep, dark eyes, puffy hair and a teddy in my hand while I’m slightly hunched over cause of my sore stomache and then I have the high ass voice. I would have karate chopped my ass if I was my mum.
I remember I was quite late to the game of makeup. I was a tomboy for WAYYYY too long and it really was something else. But that meant I thought I was “not like the other girls”. But when I grew up, I inevitably became insecure and was like “shit”. So I don’t know much about makeup except that I have to use the lightest shade and that unless the makeup proper burns your skin, out of date makeup is fine. I really can’t be arsed to learn anything about it though because I am a perfectionist, and I have the cheapest makeup, so when mine wouldn’t turn out like the one in the video, I would lock myself in my room for a week. Like I don’t have the patience for that. And also the videos are boring as fuck. Especially when you realise most of them are either pedos or bad people *cough* James Charles *cough* Jeffrey Star *cough*. I respect the talent that makeup artists have, but I really can’t be bothered watching your videos. But hey, I keep you in a business because I pay you to do my makeup. Not that I ever have got my makeup done before but I’m sure I will in the future.
I do feel fancy as fuck though whenever I watch like a 5 second clip on tiktok of how she uses a concealer brush instead of a beauty blender because I look like I know what I am doing, and those moments are fun, but also short lived because I don’t think I do it right or just takes too long. I only just started like plucking and dying my eyebrows and shit and too be honest, I have been complimented about them, but I feel like such a pro even if I just brush them up. It isn’t that big of a deal dammnnnnn.
Anyway, I kinda want to be finished on this post now because I am just rambling at this point, so I guess I’ll see you when I see you. I’ll try to do it everyday but you know how it is. Just can’t be arsed or have something else to do. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.
Now, if your looking for some sort of “12% of children going into their first year of secondary school with anxiety brought on my the change of school” then you are out of luck bitch bitch there is one thing and one thing only that I will talk about in this post. And what is … Continue reading The Biggest Difference Between Primary and Secondary School
I got my GCSE results yesterday and to be honest, I feel the same fucking way I felt last week. I mean there was no big sigh of relief or weight off my shoulders. I didn’t turn ecstatic, it was just another part of my day. Like it was literally just reading letters on a … Continue reading I Got My Results and I Feel…
I’m just gonna get right into this hoe because I don’t really know what to say as an introduction. Sorry to all my English teachers but guess what? I don’t give a fuck, so I’m gonna get into it and tell you some things that I really want to see some day and I don’t … Continue reading Things I Would Like To See One Day But I Haven’t Yet
Now, if your looking for some sort of “12% of children going into their first year of secondary school with anxiety brought on my the change of school” then you are out of luck bitch bitch there is one thing and one thing only that I will talk about in this post. And what is it you may ask? What is the biggest difference between primary and secondary school? The time.
What I mean by this is the fact that primary school felt like a shit ton of time. I mean it literally made up the first 10 years of our life. I remember it felt like P3 lasted for a million years and the rest went a wee bit faster but still seemed to be never ending. Not in the way that it was boring as hell, which it was, but I mean it felt like it was my whole life and the difference between P1 and P7 was such a jump and thousands of years apart. Yet, in secondary school, I am going into lower 6th and I feel like I was in 1st year last year. It is so weird and although I do feel like I am this old, I think that time has gone by so quickly. But then I say that and in the moment it actually feels like a fucking long time. Getting through each year didn’t feel fast but when you look back and actually process the information, it really has just flashed past you. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad it’s all over. I would definitely never do that shit again but like it’s weird.
And I can’t even say “time flies when your having fun” because there was not one ounce of it. And that isn’t an exaggeration. Like, if anything, I should be saying “time flies when you wake up disappointed that you actually woke up”. Like that is true. And in primary school we had the best of time eating glue, scrapping our knees, learning how to not pick our nose in front of people, but yet it felt like an eternity. Literally make it make sense.
Maybe it is because so much changes between P1 and P7. I mean you literally do go from a literal foetus child who only is just potty trained, to a preteen whose only personality trait is being the oldest in the school. I mean I am right aren’t I. And then from 1st year to upper 6th, you are actually fully aware that you are alive and have responsibilities and the only thing that really changes is you mature, you have a wee bit more knowledge, you get increasingly more terrified of the future, and, last but not least, your mental health is close to the point of no return. All fun right?!
Honestly though, I don’t mean to scare anyone that is going into high school or secondary school or whatever the hell you call it because we all go through different experiences and that’s fine. So your experience may be great, others may find it shit and that is fine because it’s normal. This is just a stage of your life that you need to get through and on the other end you can completely forget it and move on or use it as a show of your strength. And I’m not gonna tell you some bullshit motivational speech where I say “these years are the best years of your life” because that shit hurts, but also because you are the one who decides what the best years of your life are. I mean if these years are utter shite and you think “that’s the best years of my life wasted”, just think that it can only go up from here and that those years don’t define you. You had to hit rock bottom so you could push off stronger than ever and reach the heights you deserve. They don’t define you unless you want them to, so just hang in there ok. It goes by quickly, yes, but in the moments where it feels so slow, you gotta remember that it’s only a small part of the big plot of your life. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.
Bare with me on this one guys because I know the title makes it sound dumb as fuck, but we need to address this shit. I will literally make everything make sense to you because I know you know this but you don’t know that you know it yet, if that makes sense. Basically, you … Continue reading Social Media If They Were People pt.1
To quote the bible, “God said let there be light, and he created Billie Eilish”, or at least that is my interpretation. And with this light, the best songs, fan groups, vibes and album’s thrived. I know I am a bit late guys because her album came out around 4 days ago but these things … Continue reading Let’s Discuss Billie Eilish’s New Album (2021)
I’m going to try and keep this post quite small, kind of like the size of the tips people give. Yup, that is what I am talking about today and I would like to preface that this is in the most respectful way possible. I don’t feel this way towards young teen or people struggling … Continue reading Something I Realized About Being a Waitress
I got my GCSE results yesterday and to be honest, I feel the same fucking way I felt last week. I mean there was no big sigh of relief or weight off my shoulders. I didn’t turn ecstatic, it was just another part of my day. Like it was literally just reading letters on a page. I did really well so it isn’t like my marks were the problem, but I just remember when I was in my first year and you would see all the old ones getting ready for GCSEs and getting the results later on and I would think they were the coolest people and it must be such a great time to see how you have done, but like I don’t know if it is because of corona or something, but it doesn’t seem that big. Like, it hasn’t affected me a lot and I never really was that worked up about it even before. I may have acted like it because everyone else was so excited but I didn’t really feel any different. It makes me sound ungrateful and I know that but it is true. It just doesn’t seem like such a big deal to me.
Please, if someone got their results in the last few days, tell me if this is the same for you because I feel like it was a total anticlimax and I thought that something big was gonna happen and obviously it didn’t. Were my expectations too high? Was I too tired? Did I just not care? I mean even today, it is all in the past. You just move on. I don’t look at my grades and think of the great future I can have and how successful I can become with careers and shit. Like it was quite literally just a bunch of letters. That sounds like it was a really inspirational moment as well, as though it put everything into perspective, but it was just nothing you know.
I also get awkward as fuck whenever people ask me what I got because I did well and I don’t want people to feel worse if they didn’t get what I did but still did awesomely and then I would look like that bitch feeling nothing for their results but overhyping their results. So I kinda just say I did well unless they specifically ask me what I got. It do be like that sometimes I guess. And my results are quite literally in among a pile of rubbish in my room and I know where they are like. They aren’t actually in the bin, but I always expected them to be like up on the fridge or like in a picture frame, but it is just there and I don’t give a shit about it.
I called my granny on the day to tell her what I got and I swear she was more excited than me. Obviously, she wouldn’t be like “Ok?” and hang the phone up, but like I was just like yup. I didn’t fit the vibe check to say it in other terms. It was one of those moments where you are like “what now?”. I expect that to happen when I finish A levels or uni, if I even go, because what happens after you pass and everyone is like “well done” because you just go home and the world keeps spinning. Nobody else in the world is affected or knows of it and some people feel like their whole life has changed for good, but there are people just having a normal day. Seriously though, what did you do after graduating from university? Did you just go home and make yourself something to eat as usual? Did you wake up the next morning and have nothing much to do? I mean you have to start thinking about jobs and shit and actually making a living. It’s kind of just like another level of a game, just glorified. And I know this is probably dragging everyone done if they had a great day yesterday, but for me, that is how I feel. Just the same.
I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.
Ok so look, I haven’t been posting in a bit because I’m busy and all that shit. Wow, I’m a poet and I didn’t even know it. Anyways, I reckoned I would post something today while I have the chance and I wanted to do a wee story time or something. And this will be … Continue reading I Think I Know Why I’m So Stupid
So I was just watching the opening ceremony or the Olympics and I’m sorry but like how awkward would that be. Especially for the people that work there and just wave as they walk down and have to act as though people are watching them but like really nobody is. And then the actual athletes … Continue reading The Olympics: Awkwardness Unlocked
To any foetus child out there who is like what the fuck are genes, basically they are the characteristics that we get from our parents and they make up who we are and what we look like. For example, I inherited my dad’s white ass Irish skin which burns like a bitch whenever a bloody … Continue reading I Hate Genes
I’m going to try and keep this post quite small, kind of like the size of the tips people give. Yup, that is what I am talking about today and I would like to preface that this is in the most respectful way possible. I don’t feel this way towards young teen or people struggling financially, but there are a few people who may have caused absolute hell to my day or are obviously well off financially that give fuck all and I need to get it out there to someone.
Now, I haven’t been a waitress for very long and I also don’t work in a fancy restaurant, but I work my ass off and give them the best experience possible. Maybe at the end of my shift I am less chatty but I am polite and efficient. I think it is my first or second week in this job and 2 days ago I had my busiest shift. I mean there were people out the fucking door and they just kept coming. I was stressed with learning so many things and having to communicate and put those lessons into practice almost immediately. Now that may not seem all that difficult but when you are already always stressed and there is so much noise and movement, it is pretty fucking hard. But then at the end of the shift, after serving so many bloody tables and a lot of big tables with 6-8 people, I got less than £4. I may sound like an ungrateful bitch but even I tip when I go out. Like it may not be a lot but it shows that I tried.
And you see, my problem isn’t with teens not tipping because obviously they don’t know any better, and I don’t care if you just buy a small snack for yourself and/or your friend because that isn’t a lot of work for me and it is only a small bill anyways. But I swear to god, if I have to get you one million drinks, go back and forth having to get different salts and sauces or you buy lots of meals and desserts, you should at least have the courtesy of giving the waiters a bit of recognition because new flash, this isn’t what we want to be doing on a Friday night. That isn’t your fault and it is our job, I get that, but I’m paid minimum wage and could easily do the bare minimum but because I value you and want you to have the best experience, I work hard. Also, if you think we are being slow, that is probably because we are handling a handful of tables at a time and trying to prioritize and remember all the shit we have to do next. We haven’t forgotten about you, we want to get you sorted as quickly as possible and for me, someone who is new to the job, may take longer and make a few mistakes.
I have had a few embarrassing times, one just the other day, where I was so exhausted and mentally fucked that I just forgot the table numbers and I had to walk around holding plates of food and having no clue where it was. I would sometimes forget what table it was even for and then have to go back and ask the scary chefs and then I would forget what dishes it even was and have to act like an idiot. It is fucking scary to breathe and look you in the eye especially when you are fucking rude or ignorant. Even if you don’t mean it and you don’t necessarily do anything mean like throw water in their face, make sure you give them a smile and a thank you or just any indication that you appreciate their presence because if we didn’t have waiters, you wouldn’t get any food or it would be 10 times later and with worse service. Maybe you think of us as unskilled or something but we are important for you getting your meals and drinks and everything.
So here is something I feel like I need to say. I don’t feel entitled to a tip. I don’t expect every single person to tip because they may not know that is what you usually do yet. But what I don’t appreciate is when you are rude and dismissive and don’t give a tip, despite the fact we were of great service. If you don’t have anything to give, we don’t judge that, but make sure you look us in the eyes and genuinely show you are grateful. That may just be me and I may sound ignorant as it is my first week but every single waiter out there needs a bit of respect. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.
Bitch, I don’t know much about this movie. I mean I’ve watched it and I know the general plot but like the only thing that sticks with me to this day and the phrase that every organism is aware of is when he says “mama says life is like a box a chocolates, you neve’ … Continue reading Who Else Is Pissed At Forrest Gump’s Mum?
You see, I have been to Florida, California, Turkey, Spain and some other places and they have all been really warm. Like obviously they were roasting places, but not one of them (well, maybe Florida) roasted or toasted me like the UK does. It’s as if the sun piled up all it’s heat that is … Continue reading Summer In The UK Is No Fucking Joke
Now, I ain’t tryna rub this in anyone’s face or nothing but like, I have a small group of really close friends and despite the fact it took me a while to get over myself and make friends, it was totally worth it because we are so close. We have never had fights like everyone … Continue reading The Best Part About Having Great Friends
Ok so look, I haven’t been posting in a bit because I’m busy and all that shit. Wow, I’m a poet and I didn’t even know it. Anyways, I reckoned I would post something today while I have the chance and I wanted to do a wee story time or something. And this will be about the multiple head injuries I had when growing up that I think may explain my oddness and mental… imperfections. So yeah, there are 3 short stories so buckle up and lets get started
Stairway To Hell
I’ve called this story the stairway to hell not because I did one of the wee rides or adventure things where you climb high or anything and then I called it Hell for a play on words. No. Here it is. So when I was a child, I was staying at my granny’s and at this point my parents were outnumbered, or just fed up with all our shit, and couldn’t keep an eye on everyone. So me being the adventurous child I am, I was wondering around, or at least I guess I was, I mean I don’t remember anything from when I was a literal foetus. But yeah, I got to the top of the stairs and thought I was an absolute smarty pants and that I could somehow get down the steps. So that’s what I did, or at least tried to do because I ended up falling down all of the and breaking my leg. Now a leg injury isn’t a head injury but I’m guessing I hit my head a few times on the way down or maybe I hit my head before the fall and that’s when I made that dumb ass decision. I think I kind of deserved it though. I am also being quite hard on a literal foetus child because they barely recognise that their nose looks nothing like the ‘nose’ they supposedly stole from me.
Do you know what is gross though but also kind of cute and I see myself doing in the future if it came to that. My parents kept my little cast. It was like a full leg cast but is the size of my foot now. That’s kind of a weird comparison but deal with it. Anyways, yeah they literally just showed that to me one day and I was like “that’s cool but also what the fuck surely that’s absolutely minging”. It’s also kind of weird to think that we were that small and we have grown so much since then. Like we were all once little munchkins running around, slobbering and shitting everywhere. How beautiful
Head and Spoon Race
Do you like my wee play on words there! Analyse this Miss English teacher bitch! Anyways that was intense, just like when I was a toddler at a restaurant and I was running around like we usually do. Don’t worry there was a wee play area there for kids that we could run around in. But anyways, I was running to go back to the table and fell, as one does, but somehow my head landed on a fucking spoon and indented my head. Apparently it was bleeding so much that my mum had to get a waiter to drive us to the hospital while she stayed at the back to control the bleeding lol. Thinking about it now, I hope he got a good tip or a raise or something because why could my dad not drive us? Maybe he was drinking? Or like why not ring an ambulance? Poor guy just wanted to get paid but no, I just had to get a spoon stuck in my head. How pathetic is that! Literally it sounds ridiculous. Imagine I died from that!!! DEATH BY SPOON! Stop that is too funny lol. I would turn into the girl in the story your mum tells you to stop you running around anywhere.
I actually still have a scar from it and although it is faint and you wouldn’t really recognise it unless you stared at it for long, and who the fuck would be staring at me, but like it is pretty full on. It doesn’t sound very intimidating though. Like imagine I joined a gang and they were like “you see this *points at scar*. Bullet hole, 1986, had to take the bullet out myself and stitch it up with only the homeless guys hair and a rats tooth. Nearly lost all my blood but I survived for 4 days all alone in the gutters with nothing but mice to eat and then finally somebody found me” and then I’m just here like
ME – “damn, that sounds tough. But do you see this *points at scar*”
THEM – “mmmm no?”
ME – “RIGHT well it’s there ok! stupid bitch. Spoon hole, 2007, fell on the ground and a waiter drove me to the hospital. I had to get stitches from a doctor and was home the same day. And he gave me a sticker”
Do you know what adds to it though. I literally had to get a cast on my fucking head because I wouldn’t stop scratching the stitches off. How dumb was that! The doctor was probably sick of me and was like “I’m going to embarrass the fuck out of this kid in the future” because now I have bloody photos of me with a massive fucking cast on my head. Maybe that is why my forehead is so big now! All the bumps just ended up staying there or the cast stretched it or some shit lol.
Head and Seek
I can actually remember this one because it was in p6 ( which is around 9-10 years old for all the Americans out there). I remember it all and it really is hilarious. So I was playing hide and seek with a few of my friends, as you do, and it was a pretty intense match I have to admit. So I was going to run into the bathroom as a sneaky wee trick and somebody else was opening it and I went to sprint in. Full pelt in, but only my head got through because the door slipped from their hand and slammed my head. I remember being like “hmm, ok that’s embarrassing as fuck” and then my friends were like “OMG are you ok” and I was like “yeah, I’m fine” because I was so cool at that time obviously. But then they were like going to get a teacher and I was like “no, it’s fine, I just feel a wee bit tired”. I now know that is a sign of a concussion. I was also very out of it and confused, another sign of concussion.
But then they were like “your fucking head is bleeding you dumb bitch”, or something along those lines, so I was like fine and we went to the teacher. Obviously she was like what the actual fuck, this child is literally bleeding and looks like she’s drunk or some shit. So they brought me to the nurse and got me one of their handy dandy wet paper towels (that defo saved my life) and I went on for lunch and got all the attention which I obviously loved. They had called my mum but in the mean time I was milking it to all my friends and was like “it hurt really bad but it’s totally fine, I can handle it”. And I distinctly remember someone was like “can I see it” so I took of the paper towel and they were like “oh my god I can literally see right through” obviously you really couldn’t but I thought I was the bees knees.
Eventually my mum came to pick me up and brought me to the doctors who stitched it up and told my mum to check on me during the night to check I don’t become deceased and that was that. I came back to school the next day like the baddie I was. I don’t really think I got a scar from that but it defo jolted my brain a little and I will blame that for all my failures in life for no particular reason. It was a good laugh too I suppose. I also have a quick question for all the American’s out there. If any of this happened to you would you literally just risk it for a biscuit and not go to the doctors because of no free health care and all that shit. Would you just take all the nurses paper towels and sleep under them or something because damn.
Anyways, those are the three biggest injuries I have gotten that have probably impacted my brain or the eventual outcome of a massive forehead which I very much despise. It’s all fun and games though and I’m still alive today which can be seen as a positive and negative lol. Hopefully that is all the head injuries I got for a wee while and just remember, don’t be a cocky bitch baby, watch out for spoons, and never hide in the bathrooms for hide and seek. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.
You know, this title may seem harsh but like if you haven’t watched these I really do have to question your mental well-being and ask how long you have been living under a rock. Like, these shows are so elite that I had that empty feeling when it finished. You know when you get so … Continue reading If You Haven’t Seen These Shows, Don’t Talk To Me
So, with making this blog I wanted to make sure I was completely honest with you guys. I know that makes it sound really scary as though I’m gonna be like “I am Michael Jackson, I in fact did not die” but it isn’t that deep. It’s just a thing that most of us go … Continue reading Ok, But Like Where’s The Need?
You guys need to settle something for me today because just this morning I was confronted by a crazy, telly-tubby lookin’ ass bitch on my walk and she really angered me, I will tell the story in a sec, but when I told my mum she seemed unfazed. So today, with your opinion, I will … Continue reading Do I Have Anger Issues Or Was She Just a Bitch?
To any foetus child out there who is like what the fuck are genes, basically they are the characteristics that we get from our parents and they make up who we are and what we look like. For example, I inherited my dad’s white ass Irish skin which burns like a bitch whenever a bloody tea light goes within 1 mile of it. So it’s not ideal. I also inherited his lack of eyebrows which shocked me, but you couldn’t tell because you couldn’t see my eyebrows expressions. I slightly blame my twin for that because, although it is probably scientifically impossible, I believe she robbed them from me in the womb. Unfortunately that doesn’t stand well in court so I never got back what is rightfully mine smh
I do have blonde hair which really is the only thing going for me but it is going darker and I resent that but it is what it is. Oh and I forgot to mention, I swear my twin stole my teeth because I have two missing and she’s a bit sus if you ask me. She isn’t little miss perfect after all. When she dies I swear I’ll find a long note releasing the truth. I don’t know why she would do it but like it meant that for 13 years of my life I looked like your crazy young cousin whose only personality trate is losing their teeth. And now I have fake teeth that I sometimes think will fall out. IM FUCKING 16 YEARS OLD YET I’LL LITERALLY HAVE FAKE TEETH DRILLED IN MY MOUTH AT 18. I remember one time when I had to put my fake teeth in my retainers and one day I forgot them for some dumb fucking reason and I was like dad we need to turn back and he was like no. The trauma this man caused right then was astronomical but he didn’t give a shit. I kid you not, I had to spend that whole day trying not to smile with my teeth or talk to anyone but then in one of my classes I forgot and smiled at someone and they looked at me like what the fuck and then was like “where have your teeth gone”. Keep in mind I was 13-14 so all my teeth should have fallen out and grown back so it was weird. I also regret this moment because I could have pranked them so easily by acting scared and going “oh my god where the hell did they go” but no I had to really say “I forgot them at home”. I FORGOT THEM AT HOME! What the actual fuck. No teen should have to say that they left their teeth at home. I am still recovering from that chat.
But back to what I wanted to talk about today. My pale ass skin. I kid you not, I only have two different options. White as fuck or red as fuck. Yesterday I thought I would switch it up a bit so I got burnt to a crisp. I regret it. Why do I never learn. I literally thought I could wish my way into going tan but instead I look like a fucking stop sign. It was dumb how it happened though because I must have forgotten to put suncream on like half of my legs and I didn’t realize. Like I knew my attention span was shit but I thought I could at least pay attention to this. So I had work after and I was basically cooking the meals on my legs cause they were burning so much and then when I took them off later I thought I was turning into Elmo because those bitches were RED. I basically bathed them in aloe Vera and cried because I am now currently on the way to a beach where the general public are and they can see my bright ass legs. Everyone also seems to have to point them out. Like just when I stop thinking about it someone needs to pop out from the sky and go “OH MY GOD” literally like Janice from friends “YOU ARE GLOWING” and I look at them like no shit Sherlock. I didn’t realize that my legs could double as a flare to attract planes and a heater to toast our sandwiches. Leave me and my burns alone. And of course my twin fans. That cheeky bitch. How did I get the pale skin, invisible eyebrows, missing teeth AND the mental illness 😮
Anyways that is the post and I’m glad to get that off my chest. Please feel free to comment some things you inherited from your parents or whether you relate to some of the things I have. Have fun in the sun and don’t forget suncream bitches. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT
I feel like in 30+ years, there is gonna be someone that stumbles upon this post and be like “imagine not being able to teleport to wherever the fuck you want or even just hop in your flying car. Imagine how boring it would be especially as they don’t have phones built into their heads” … Continue reading My First Holiday In Two Years
Ok so I know that the past couple of days, you have really been seeing a new site of me, the side I like to call “the basic bitch”, and you can say all you want about how that’s such a basic, white bitch thing to do, but I know you just want to be … Continue reading Love Island | Addressing What We Are All Thinking
Let’s play a quick game of never have I ever. Never. Have I ever needed to hear that. Never have I ever wanted to hear that. Never have I ever felt good after hearing that. Never have I ever gone to someone’s house and they didn’t say this. Never have I ever been more offended. … Continue reading “You look just like your dad”
You see, I have been to Florida, California, Turkey, Spain and some other places and they have all been really warm. Like obviously they were roasting places, but not one of them (well, maybe Florida) roasted or toasted me like the UK does. It’s as if the sun piled up all it’s heat that is supposed to hit the UK during the year and then fucking dumps it on us for a couple of days each year. One day I’ll be in my winter quilt absolutely freezing my tits off and the other I will be sleeping in my own sweat, basically being air fried. Write now, no joke, I am sweating my ass off. Like my ass is down the street and probably in Turkey right now because I’m sweating so much. It really ain’t fun. And the fact is, we aren’t prepared for this type of weather. It only happens once every three hundred billion cups of tea. So we have no air conditioners or shit like that. No, we just fester and complain about it.
It kinda goes like this. For 360 days of the year, we complain about how cold it is and how it always rains and is fucking miserable, but then for the other 5 days of the year, when it is absolutely boiling, we complain about it being too hot. But you better fucking believe with will complain while having a great time. The day drinking will be at an all time high, which I didn’t think could get any higher in the UK, the beaches will be packed, the pasty legs will come out and we will burn and tan until our skin falls off. We will complain, but we also won’t waste it. To be fair though, at the moment I am inside on my computer, but my windows are open so that’s something. It is pretty quiet outside though but I’m guessing everyone is at the beach or doing some crazy shit because when it is sunny in the UK, nothing matters anymore. I am just happy we don’t have school at the moment because usually the sun is released as soon as our exam papers are set on our desk. That isn’t even exaggerating, like it really is like that and everyone else can back me up. Maybe the world is a bit guilty for the whole pandemic thing and is giving us some sort of … what’s the word? Hap.. Happne… oh, happiness. I almost forgot the word there lol.
The thing with me when it comes to sunny weather is that my twin sister robbed me off the ability to tan, and my eyebrows, so I literally won’t tan. I do get a few freckles tbh but like I will burn like a bitch if I get one singular ray of sun touching my skin and I instantly start pealing. What I do have though is blonde hair, so I will sacrifice everything else just to get my hair in the sun so it can go lighter. During the rest of the year, I near cry cause I think I’m going brunette (no offense I just like my blonde hair) and then in summer, like a fucking mood ring or some shit, my hair goes blonde again and we do the whole “should I put lemon in my hair to speed up the process”, which I never actual do because I don’t want to be so sticky and stuff like that. The thing is though, if you are around me on a sunny day, be prepared to have me mention how I want my hair to get lighter because of the sun as though it is some sort of medical mystery and I’m one of a kind. Literally it will go like this
THEM – “my nan just died”
ME – “well I’m gonna die if the sun doesn’t fucking lighten up my hair
THEM – “what even is life? Like how the fuck did we come to exist”
ME – “Exactly! Like how come my hair can change colour and soon it will become luxuriously blonde. It’s just crazy”
THEM – “me and your dad are getting a divorce”
ME – “It’s because my hair is browner now, isn’t it, but I swear when I go in the sun it will go blonde again, just wait a few days”
It’s a crazy life bro. But I’m gonna wrap it up here because, if you haven’t caught on, it is boiling outside and I haven’t got much time left to complain about it, burn and get my hair lighter again. Feel free to comment below if you found this relatable or if there are any other things people need to know about summer in the UK. It is crazy tbh. Don’t forget to like, follow and comment for more and I will see you again tomorrow for more. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT
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The “Magical” Transformation That Happens When You Combine Two Of The Best Brain Reprogramming Technologies
You’ve heard of NLP? It’s almost cultish. It stands for neuro-linguistic programming and it’s like someone had taken the best out of all forms of psychotherapy, threw them in a blender and created NLP. If you don’t get what I’m saying, NLP is two things. First, it is a way of thinking. It’s a framework … Continue reading The “Magical” Transformation That Happens When You Combine Two Of The Best Brain Reprogramming Technologies
Have you always wanted to become a singer? Many people dream of singing, but few take the steps required to learn. Here are some quick tips that will teach you how to learn singing, on your own or with assistance: <a href=”allylav” rel=”nofollow”><img src=”https://singorama.com/wp-content/uploads/Banner-duo.gif” width=”336″ height=”280″ border=”0″ /></a> How to Learn Singing – Before You … Continue reading How to Learn to Sing!
I’m not the one to be really self-confident but do you know those times where you do something or use something and you feel that, if someone was watching you, you would look pretty cool. I know that sounds corny as fuck, but it is true. Some of the below may seem a bit weird, … Continue reading What I Do To Feel Like a Badass
Now, I ain’t tryna rub this in anyone’s face or nothing but like, I have a small group of really close friends and despite the fact it took me a while to get over myself and make friends, it was totally worth it because we are so close. We have never had fights like everyone else seems to have in school, and we are unproblematic. There is 5 of us, including me, so I suppose you can say we are a smaller group, but I don’t think I could imagine there being anymore. There have been people who have tried to go into our group which leads to awkward situations but it has always just stayed the same for us. Pretty much we just live our life like the people who walk away from an explosion without looking back to see it. We are those bitches and I wouldn’t change a single thing about it. So that does sound like a bit of a flex, but I added that because there is one thing that happens that I absolutely love and that I know other people go through with best friends. So lets talk about it.
So, this thing is when you are with your friends, it is usually getting dark and you are not surrounded by other people, so you’d be in a tent or like outside or in your bedroom in an empty house, and then the conversation changes so quickly. Not as in “I love dogs, except when mine bit of my Nan’s arm”. But like when you are talking about something hilarious and then the next minute you find yourself talking about how we just live on a floating rock in empty space and we don’t even know what is out there. And I have no fucking clue how it gets there but like it isn’t awkward at all. We are all just like calm and talking back and forth and then you say something like “I just can’t even comprehend blah blah blah” and then someone else is like “that’s the same with me” and then you realise you aren’t crazy. Then all of a sudden you have just spilled all of the tea and fully exposed yourself but like you don’t even care. The thing that is extra funny about it is the fact that it is pretty much never mentioned again until the next time that situation happens and even then you usually switch up the topic. Maybe one week it was an existential crisis and the next it would be sharing traumas and then maybe next week we’ll mix it up with a talk about how scary the future is. It kind of is just pot luck at that point.
Do you guys get that with your friends though? I always find it so fun because it is so spontanious and you find that other people understand and it shocks you and nobody is proper going to make a massive deal out of it and treat you differently. It doesn’t really happen with everyone that I am friends with, which is literally not that many lol, but with the closest friends this would be a regular moment. It happened yesterday when me and my friends were like just going to Tesco and then a field and it just hits out of nowhere. And then you usually just catapult back into the most random shit. It really is a mountain of emotions. Like we go from fuck all, to everything, to even less than before.
This kind of a random post, a bit out of the blue you know, but like I have changed into a working woman because I have a job and that has made me exhausted and with little time to spare, but don’t fret guys because I will be trying my best to post I just don’t have a mind full of thoughts at the moment. It’s a good job though but I still literally freak out when I have another shift. We move though. So yeah, I’m keeping this short but I also want to add that if you are reading this and are like “oh shit I don’t have this with my friends” just know that it took me a while to find the right people and get comfortable enough to talk with them like that. I mean if you read one of my past posts abut my first year of high school you would know I never thought I would get to this point. So just be yourself and wait because you will find those friends someday and you can’t rush that shit, but it will be so worth it, trust me on that. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT
I’ve heard a lot of people mention something that their therapist once told them to do. They said “the other day my therapist told me to look over at an empty chair and imagine child you sitting on it. They then asked me what I looked like and I said I looked happy and excited. … Continue reading Weekly Reminder
Hey guys, so this post is gonna be a wee bit shorter because I got acrylic nails on the other day and it is so fucking hard to type with them on so I will have to get used to it. I mean the fact I make so many mistakes with these really stresses me … Continue reading I’m Disappointed In Myself…
You guys have to agree with me when I say that a lot of things we do nowadays is heavily judged. Like there are a lot of things that people aren’t willing to admit they do because people will laugh at them and call them a basic bitch or a pick me type of person. … Continue reading I Hate To Be That Bitch But…
So, with making this blog I wanted to make sure I was completely honest with you guys. I know that makes it sound really scary as though I’m gonna be like “I am Michael Jackson, I in fact did not die” but it isn’t that deep. It’s just a thing that most of us go through but nobody talks about which makes it seem like more of a weird thing. You’ll understand more when I get into this post but lets get started with a quick story time of what I did yesterday that kinda gave me this and you will probably be able to guess where I am going with this.
So yesterday, I started my first day of work EVER. Like literally my first day of work, and it was in a restaurant, so it was safe to say I was shitting myself. But anyways, I went in absolutely shaking, so much so that they probably thought I was of those air bag people at car sales places that just flap around in the wind, but like during a hurricane. That was kind of a weird description but you get it, right. Anyways, I was nervous and sweaty and in a complete mess. But I tried to keep my composed. Luckily it was just a 3 hour shift. The people there were nice but like you know when you feel like people are being nice because they have to and in reality they don’t want you there. That was my thoughts. And I swear all my hearing went out the door because people would talk to me and, maybe it’s just the masks, but I couldn’t hear shit so would have to ask them to repeat and I would still not understand. I shadowed someone most of the time but when she went on break I felt so out of place and I barely talked to anyone else because I was the youngest and also scared I would do something awkward like be myself 😮
If I made one mistake I would literally die inside and be like “I canny work a till what the fuck”. I also seem really dumb because I just don’t notice the obvious. Like the one time I spoke to another person was when I was like “is this the large and then the other one is the pint” because the actual large was actual at the back of the shelf and I didn’t really see it. And he was like “that is the regular, the large is this one” and he showed me so I went to try and find it and realised the glasses where fucking labelled so I looked like an idiot because I didn’t see them there. I looked like a dumb blonde in that moment. Also, whenever the forks ran out I was like where are the other forks and she pointed to a bucket of clean forks that was literally right beside me. I really don’t know how I wasn’t fired on the spot for incompetence. Also, I was so shaky that when I had to write down the orders, you could hardly read it and my handwriting is bad on a normal day but this was looking like fucking Latin or some shit because it made no sense at all
But let’s get onto the main point of this post. From the moment my shift started to 2 pm the next day, I have been feeling so weird. Like I felt sick to my stomache and all the things I did wrong stuck in my head and I was so embarrassed and terrified for my next shift. I was literally still shaking and tense hours after it finished. It took me ages to get to bed that night because no matter what, I would always go back to thinking about how I was rubbish. And you know, I think a lot of people go through that especially at their first job, but in the moment you feel as though you are never gonna be able to work again. I have 3 shifts next week and I am actually so scared and I feel kind of like an impostor or some shit, but I am still gonna go and hopefully it only gets better from here. I mean I’m pretty sure this is as bad as it can get, but knowing me, I can go a lot lower than this, it’s a specialty of mine. lol jokes, but like I hope this is helpful to someone going through something similar or just scary in general and I hope that you have a way to express those feelings. If you don’t, please leave a comment or contact me directly and we can talk about whatever it is and if you are interested you could upload a post on this blog so that others can share their thoughts. It can be anonymous as well obviously.
Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this post and found it somewhat useful because I know a lot of people can feel this amount of stress and anxiety after some situations, and know that’s ok as long as you share that with someone. But I will see you later for another post, don’t forget to like, share, comment and follow if you enjoyed this content. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.
We love a good self-deprecating post. It is kinda fun though because it is easy and I can say anything I want about myself and I won’t offend anyone, unless you are literally the exact same as me. Multiverse?! But yeah, some of these things are kinda basic but, being a person with a typical … Continue reading Things That Make Me Feel Stupid (well, more than usual)
I feel like a common theme with my content and the titles is that they all seem like I am about to go into some political talk as though I am about to rant about taxes or other Karen shit, but like it really isn’t, so I don’t know if I attract the wrong audience … Continue reading My Honest Opinion On Public Transport | Hint – NOT Ideal
Ok guys, we aren’t about to get into some existential shit today because I don’t think I can take that at the moment, but I guess it kinda will be but like to a certain extent, so kinda just be warned about that but lets get started into it. This is another weekly reminder post … Continue reading It’s All About Perspective
You guys need to settle something for me today because just this morning I was confronted by a crazy, telly-tubby lookin’ ass bitch on my walk and she really angered me, I will tell the story in a sec, but when I told my mum she seemed unfazed. So today, with your opinion, I will discover if I have anger issues or my mum is also a Karen 😮 This is a big one guys. Maybe you just had to be there but I really did feel like kung-fu panda-ing the shit out of her. Also, disclaimer, no Karen’s were hurt in the following story (unfortunately)
So here I was, minding my own business as one does on their usual morning walk with their tiny cute dog following behind. I kept walking and checking up on el perro and saw there was a woman walking up behind me with one dog that was on a leash and another German Shepard that wasn’t on a leash. I didn’t think anything of it because my dog is good and doesn’t like attack or any of that shit, but she is dramatic as fuck. Anyways, I let the woman go ahead because my dog was being slow and sniffing the dog that was OFF THE LEASH and may I add, the dog was 10 times the size of mine. Anyways, she went one way and I went to go another way and my dog was following the dog that was off the leash. The lady just laughed and did the generic “hahaha guess she is coming with me” (no this is not a kidnapping story) and so of course I did the whole “lol you are such a comedian” bullshit.
But then my dog unleashed the dramatic bitch inside her and started doing a whole high pitched yelp at the dog that was OFF THE LEASH and maybe put her paws on the German Shepard’s face but like not with force. And then the owner got like crazy eyes and I was like “sorry about that, she is really dramatic” because she does that sometimes even though nobody got hurt or anything and it is all laughs, but then when I went to grab my dog she was like “get your dog right now!” But like in a really strict, scary way and I didn’t realise at first because she seemed nice but then I realised when was walking away and I’m just like what an actual cheeky fuck. Like no dogs were hurt, I made a joke saying she is just dramatic, the dog on the leash that I am assuming is angry, was nowhere near them and her dog was bigger than mine so was not going to get attacked by mine. And she just turned so rude and was giving me a dirty look. I was near ready to fight but I only processed it after we walked away from each other.
So now I want you guys to comment and tell me if I misinterpreted it, but she sounded pretty fucking rude to me and nothing even happened. My dog just yelped and that was it and she is literally a miniature Schnauzer. I swear though… “get your dog right now!” Get your shit together right now you crazy lady. I wish I had realised and gave her a dirty look or just been like “right calm down it was just a yelp” or something like “sorry can you say that again, I forgot to act like I cared”. Can you tell I’ve been thinking about this a lot? Usually I don’t overreact. Like I seem like a very calm person but I also can take things the wrong way. She didn’t sound worried though so wasn’t scared her dog would do something but she sounded cheeky which meant I thought she was rude, obviously, and maybe she was having a bad day but it was literally bloody 10 am so like what could have happened in that time… like seriously. It’s just things like that though that really annoy me because I know that if I was to like say something or like defend myself, she would be fuming because I’m a teen and then I would be backing up the idea that teens are entitled fuckers who are always angry. Like people think that all the time even though we are just sticking up for ourselves. Don’t me wrong, some of us are like that but a majority of us are respectful but also know what we deserve.
Anyways, that was quite the random post I have to admit but please do comment on your thoughts because I want to know if I am overthinking this. But I will see you again tomorrow for more and hopefully I won’t see that woman again because I might have a few words to say to her. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.
Lately, since the whole Logan Paul and KSI fight or whoever it was, all tiktokers and youtubers have literally been fighting for no fucking reason. I mean at the start it was fun you know, like it was new and exciting, like a relationship. But also like a relationship, they get old and you realise … Continue reading To All The TikTokers That Are Fighting Each Other…
I feel like a lot of people will understand me when I say that there are things that people can literally just talk about and that makes you feel exhausted or just unmotivated to do that thing despite the fact you aren’t even going to do it but the thought of it is so horrible … Continue reading Could I Be Bothered? | Part 4
I think we all related to this title a bit too much when you first read it. I know that whoever clicked on this was like “this shit about to be good” and it is because I am going to tell you about a few times that I have asked that question in my head … Continue reading And You Did This For What?
I feel like in 30+ years, there is gonna be someone that stumbles upon this post and be like “imagine not being able to teleport to wherever the fuck you want or even just hop in your flying car. Imagine how boring it would be especially as they don’t have phones built into their heads” or at least that is my prediction, but that isn’t today’s topic. Today I just wanted to talk about some of the things I missed, didn’t miss and discovered during my trip. I really am making it sound like a life changing trip to mars or some shit, it was just a small one but I’m going to continue being dramatic as fuck. Also I still have my nails on so sorry if this is quite a short post.
Anyways, lets start with things that I missed. Obviously we have the whole getting out of the suffocating area that is your home country, being able to see other family and friends and being able to relax more. What I also missed about holidays was the whole seeing places you have never seen before. The place I went to was literally just across the water so I can’t say there was much of a culture shock but like for the past 2 years or so, the only places I could go on a normal basis was my home and school, which are 2 pretty boring places after like 2 days. So actually going outside, seeing people I have never seen and places that don’t look like the normal 4 boring fucking walls that trap me inside all year around. It just feels more normal I guess and after all this time in one place I feel like every little difference is highlighted so much. Like I literally saw that the public buses there were a different colour from home and my world was, to say the least, completely changed. I couldn’t stop looking at them and making sure everyone else knew that the buses were different to home as though they gave a shit. As though they would turn around and grab me on the shoulders and with tears in their eyes they would say “thank you so much for sharing this marvelous discovery”. But to me it was a bit awesome and I know I sound like an idiot but like I really fucking hate the site of my home town to be honest.
Now to things that I didn’t miss. Car journeys, the long ones that make your literal ass cry out for help as it is so painful that you want to die. I sit in the middle of the car because if I don’t then my sisters will absolutely annihilate each other. I do this for the squad and I do this for my gang. But yeah, I swear I was in the car during the holiday more than I was anything else and I will literally cry if I have to listen to anymore of my dad’s music. I might actually just let my sisters kill each other and hopefully me in the process.
What I also hated was all of the fucking photos. There was a point where I was nearly in tears because every step you take was just “oh my god I need a photo of this rock” or “oh my god this is amazing” and then when you gurn even a little, they act like you just offended the whole family tree, but if you stop for one second to check out a shop the shit hits the fan. So you just cry at every single photo and all the bad angles and moments they take. I don’t want to remember every single crumb of every single meal I ate. And you just know they are about to post them on Facebook every little chance they get. I also hare being around people all the time. That is normal for me even before the pandemic, but it has gotten worse. Like I have to share every single bedroom with my twin and I’m sorry but I was near ready to slam that hoe into the floor, not because she did anything but because I hated the site of her, the aura she emitted. The only time I had to myself was in the bathroom and people probably thought I had bowel issues at some points, but I just wanted out of there.
Last but not least, things that I discovered. Not much actually. I mean I guess not all buses are the same colours and I confirmed that I really don’t have a good side, but like nothing really mind blowing. I wasn’t like “oh my god I need to get away from home and discover everything life has to offer” and race away with a big smile into a Disney musical. To be honest, I just discovered that me and my parents have fuck all in common and I’m a lazy hoe. So yeah
Anyways, I hope you guys liked this post. Hopefully I will be able to post more content now because I am back home and I actually have some privacy which is great. So yeah, don’t forget to like, subscribe and comment if you enjoy this type of content and I will see you tomorrow for more. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.
Hey guys, so I haven’t really posted on here in a wee bit but like life happens so deal with it. Anyways, I guess I just wanted to just talk about how today I am kind of transitioning back into a normal, pre-covid, life. And what is it that I am doing you might ask? … Continue reading Going Back To “Normal”
Me, personally, I love languages. I don’t know what it is about them but I find them so interesting because the whole world has different ways of communicating and it makes sense to people despite the fact we have absolutely no clue what they are talking about. To be fair I only know Spanish and … Continue reading Do You Know What’s Weird? Languages
The past couple of weeks my weekly reminders have been more low-key but this week I want to liven it up a bit you know. Like I want to remind you guys how absolutely awesome you are and how you should not give a fuck what other people think because you are the shit. So … Continue reading Weekly Reminder – You Are a Bad Bitch
Let’s play a quick game of never have I ever. Never. Have I ever needed to hear that. Never have I ever wanted to hear that. Never have I ever felt good after hearing that. Never have I ever gone to someone’s house and they didn’t say this. Never have I ever been more offended. But literally why do people think that it would be a good thing to say to a teenage girl that they look just like an old, balding, wrinkly, angry, sore backed man. Like seriously what the fuck made you say that. There was actually one time I went to my sisters boyfriends house for some reason and I had never seen his parents before but I kid you not, the first thing they said to me was “you look just like your dad”… what dumb fuckery is that because I didn’t even know he had seen them. Like what the hell. Needless to say, I never saw them again. Highly unappreciated to be honest with you.
The saddest thing is though is that I can see it. Like they aren’t wrong. Did they need to point that out though? No. But they aren’t wrong. One time at New Years there was this thing where you had to guess who was who from their childhood photos. Don’t ask why. But we just did. And I was looking around when my sister called me over and was like “look at this” and so I did. She covered the hair of my dads picture and was like “look”. This bitch really called me out because it literally looked exactly like me. Great start to the new year am I right. Like why the actual fuck did I have to inherit his non-existent eyebrows and his literal 5 head. Not appreciated father.
But yeah, I never get compared to as my Mum but like I guess looking like my dad, while embarrassing, let’s me know I am not adopted because as a child I would be like “Oh mY GoD iM aDoPteD” just because I the only one in my whole family that has blonde hair. What do you guys get compared to. Is there anything other than your parents you get compared to or maybe even a celebrity! The only celebrity I’ve been compared to is the bloody monster from the goonies. He is such a babe though I guess.
Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this post and make sure to like and comment below if you have anything else to add. I’ll see you tomorrow for more hopefully and I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT
I’m not the one to be really self-confident but do you know those times where you do something or use something and you feel that, if someone was watching you, you would look pretty cool. I know that sounds corny as fuck, but it is true. Some of the below may seem a bit weird, but like, until you use them, you won’t understand.
My friend got me this for my birthday last month and I had seen them around on pinterest before but I never got one because, well, I’m a cheapskate. But then when I used it, I realised that I hadn’t appreciated the fact of how cool it feels to drink out of it. If you are one of those people who is like “I really want to drink a bit of milk from that but I know I will just get shouted at” then this is for you. To be honest, I never knew I was one of those people until I got the water bottle. You just flip of the cap and drink it. You feel so rebellious despite the fact it is a literal fucking water bottle
Do you know when you are in school and the person with the car comes walking in swinging their keys around on the lanyard and making the biggest mess with everyone getting chopped in the face or not being able to hear a conversation? Well, I understand it. I don’t have a car, but like I have my keys on a Disneyland lanyard and when I take it out for whatever reason, I feel so grownup and bad-ass. Like how absolutely crap is it to just have keys on a key-ring, I mean how last year. But having it on a piece of fabric just asserts dominance in a way. But I don’t go around swinging it on my finger. That’s just annoying.
You know, I don’t even have an apple watch, but I know people who do and whenever they flick their wrist and basically control their day with their wrist, I just feel like that is so cool. They literally be making fucking bread or calling fucking mars aliens. There is one time though, and I will never forget this, where my physics teacher had an apple watch. This was when they had only been out for a bit and she was doing something on the board and using her apple watch as well, and being the absolute jokester I am, I kind of mimicked her. I just swiped my wrist as though I had a watch, not in a mean way though. I don’t know why I did it but I thought I was so funny in front of my friends. And then I looked up and realised she was watching me. I don’t know if she found it funny or not because she is quite sarcastic, but I feel like it might have made her not like me as much as she already didn’t. But yeah, apple watches are bad ass and I will never mimic someone ever again 😐
Again, I don’t really have these. Also, I am not talking about any Bluetooth earphones, not airpods or anything because although they are cool, they are also basic and just for like music and normal things. I mean the bodyguard, busy businessman type ones. Like they are mainly for phone calls and they just click the side of their head and say something like “talk to me” and then go on with their day. They defo all are ordering special missions and are about to save the planet. I want one so bad because it kinda looks like it is a part of you, like you are a robot or some shit. I never get calls and I fucking hate calls so much, but like damn, those scam callers are in for some exciting action when I answer with “talk to me” and when I realise they are scammers I will be so hyped up that I’ll be like “Listen up punk and listen close because I am not going to repeat myself. Never call this number again because with the click of a button I could get people, dangerous people, to track you down. So try me punk because I’m already two steps ahead”. That’s pretty cool right. I imagine that would be said in a deep, Liam Neeson in the movie “Taken”, voice.
This I do have, but it do be kinda old and squeaky so it doesn’t quite have the effect I was looking for, but still. In all the movies they have the bad guy that slowly swings around to look at the hero before they have their 30 minute speech about how long it took for him to be able to kill the villain and then the villain escapes because in the time the hero took to say everything, my nan could have crossed the street, and she’s dead. So it’s pretty intimidating to just spin around like magic. And even when you aren’t trying to destroy the planet it is cool. You have the high back and you feel so official and comfy. It really gives you a high status even though it is for literally fuck all. I like them and hope one day to have the best spiny chair turn around scene in all of history
Anyways, that is kinda it. I am not really a bad-ass person so this might be a bit of a stretch, but some of them are true you have to admit. Like the first few were a bit mad but like it got better. Comment down below what makes you feel like a badass or if you agree with anything I said. Don’t forget to like and follow if you enjoyed this content and I will see you tomorrow for more. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT
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So guys, I didn’t get the job, but I mean it’s fine. Honestly, like it’s fine. This was my first ever one to be fair so if I was expecting results, I would be a bit dumb you know. The truth is though, I don’t know what I would have done if I did get … Continue reading Job Update (It Do Be Like That Sometimes)
If anybody doesn’t know what cancel culture is, let me explain it to you. Technically, it is just this thing were people ‘cancel’ (or make them unfamous) people because of something bad they said in their lifetime. And you might be saying “well I mean that doesn’t sound too bad” but let me tell you … Continue reading Cancel Culture – Let’s Address This Bitch
Hi guys, so as some of you will already know, I have my first ever interview tomorrow. And I am shitting it to say the least. It has caused me to have many a breakdown and freaking out about what I should say about the generic questions and whether or not I would end up … Continue reading My Honest Interview Answers
You guys have to agree with me when I say that a lot of things we do nowadays is heavily judged. Like there are a lot of things that people aren’t willing to admit they do because people will laugh at them and call them a basic bitch or a pick me type of person. Don’t get me wrong, there are a few things that mean that you are definitely that type of person but like some things are a bit of a stretch. So yeah, I guess I will expose myself today and show you some of the things that make me “that bitch”.
Being a blonde teenage girl, I feel like I am already set up to get judged 10 times more than others because you know, I look like the dumb blonde whose only personality trait is sipping iced coffee obnoxiously loud in class. But like I do love myself a wee iced coffee. It doesn’t have to be Starbucks I guess but Starbucks is the place you usually get judged for going to. Especially on holidays when you are literally sweating your ass off and you step into the cafe with a gust of cool air hitting you and the sound of the coffee machine. It is literally so good. I don’t know why but I love the sound of the coffee machines in cafes. So you can call me a basic bitch for liking a cheeky wee Starbucks iced coffee on a nice warm day because I won’t stop for nobody PERIODT
We are kinda focusing on the drinks today aren’t we but they are important ones to mention I think. I love water. I don’t know why but like water really hits different. When you are absolutely parched, you don’t reach for a bloody coke no matter what the ads show. You go for a freaking water and that shit is amazing. Like even at a restaurant, I might be that girl who orders water. That is partially because I am broke but like I do enjoy water. But then the one time that I do get a fizzy drink or something, there will be that one adult who is like “oooh, teens and their cokes these days, can’t get them off it”. And you just stare at them like “this isn’t fucking cocaine, like I haven’t had one in ages. I don’t have a bloody mini fridge of things like other teens do”. So yeah, I guess I’m just quirky lol. Forget I ever said that last part that was a joke lol. But despite the fact people think it is boring to like drinking water and every time you get it instead of a monster energy drink you are literally shunned from the friend group. And you know what, I am not taking it any longer. You all know that water is the best.
This one is kind of a different one because I don’t really think that a lot of people my age will relate to this but I actually like doing the dishes. It is just like so relaxing when you are doing something while just watching something on your phone and it is nice to see the pile of dirty dishes go down and then you put stuff away and it is very visually gratifying. I always like to see the results happen you know. And I bet that some guy is gonna be in the comments like “well it’s in a woman’s nature” and to that I say shut the fuck up and I am only one woman and I know that probably a majority of us don’t like it but we aren’t gonna get all political here sorry about that. But the one thing that I hate about doing dishes is when people keep putting dirty dishes in the pile and I’m like where was the fucking need. I mean since when did you have a whole fucking IKEA in your bedroom? I also hate afterwards when you have to clean the drain and there are pieces of disgusting food at the bottom. Literally the bane of my existence. I think that one of the worst punishments would be being in a bath and there are bits like those in it and so you can feel it all over. That would be hell
I know this one is about to get controversial but I swear that one day Ed Sheeran was just completely cancelled and I really have no clue why. Like I see so many things saying that people who still listen to Ed Sheeran are weirdos or they wouldn’t be caught dead listening to him but like some of his music is good. I mean would I be a crazy fan girl and buy his hair on eBay? No. But do I listen to some of the absolute classics? Hell yeah. Someone please explain what he did because I don’t know why I am supposed to be embarrassed for listening to him. He is a good singer too so that can’t be it. I swear to god, if it is because he is ginger!! Literally that would be so hilarious but like it’s 2021 guys, we gotta start getting over that ok.
I Don’t Cry at Movies
This one might seem normal at first. Like there are people who just don’t cry at some things and that’s fine, right? Well, what if I told you I didn’t tear up at “The Notebook”, “The Boy In The Stripped Pajamas” or “Marley and Me” but I did cry at “Moana”, “Inside Out” and “Little Women”. Yup, kinda a weird mix. And you know the 3 that I just said I cried at, those are the ONLY movies I have ever cried at. Well, excluding the time I probably cried at bob the builder because I was forced to watch it over and over as a baby. Bob the builder is such a show though you have to admit. But no, everyone says I have a heart of stone because while they are over there buried in tissues, I’m in the corner making fun of them. You do have to admit though, whenever Moana’s grandma dies it is so fucking sad and then when she comes back as a fucking fish and starts singing. Moana could have sailed in my tears bitch.
Anyways, I think that is all that I will mention for today. Don’t forget to leave a comment if you relate to any of these things or if you do things that others may judge you about. We probably all do it so like don’t even be worrying and even if we don’t, there is no judgment here. But yeah, like, follow and comment if you enjoyed this content and, if you can, feel free to donate some money in the box down below to help the blog keep going. Anything is appreciated. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.
This is not a drill guys! I was called yesterday by a manager of a restaurant I applied for and he booked me in for an interview on Monday. Bitch when I tell you I am shitting myself, I am quite literally shitting it. I mean did I apply for it? Yes. But it is … Continue reading Where Is The Back Button On Life? I Need Out Of This Bitch
Hey guys, so if you have read my blog before, you will know that I have a twin sister. We have pretty much the same friend group but there are a few people that she would be more friendly with than me because… well, I’m a socially awkward kinda bitch. But the reason the title … Continue reading The Audacity
So I know this is quite a broad topic guys. I know what I am getting myself into. An existential crisis. But I am ready for it you know. I am ready to question life and everything there is to do about it because… to be honest, I’m bored and don’t have anything else to … Continue reading Do You Know What’s Weird? Everything
We love a good self-deprecating post. It is kinda fun though because it is easy and I can say anything I want about myself and I won’t offend anyone, unless you are literally the exact same as me. Multiverse?! But yeah, some of these things are kinda basic but, being a person with a typical low self esteem, I feel a lot of things make me feel stupid. I’ll only list a few things today though so I don’t make myself look like an actual idiot. This is just for the lols as well guys so don’t get too offended or like anything like that.
This one doesn’t make me feel so much as stupid as it does untalented. Like I really have 0 talents and it shines through in paint by numbers. My mum got me one and it is really fun and I enjoy it like, but I don’t know if my hands are too shaky but I can not keep it neat and I can’t keep it even either, like you can tell there is more paint in some parts. I can also tell that art is not my strong point because I just can’t figure out how much paint I need for a certain bit and I end up getting none on my brush for a big section and then literally the whole wee tub for a tiny section. You do have to admit though it can be quite hard when you have the little bits and, me already being quite blind, has to go right up to the picture as though I am freaking lying down or some shit. Do you guys get that in school where you like realise that when you are writing your face gets so close to the table and you are like when the fuck did that happen. I always find that and get super embarrassed because there really is no need for me to do that.
Another thing about paint-by-numbers that I know every fucking one of you understands is how hard it is to open the lids of the paint. Like they are so tiny and literally hurt and you are scared it is just going to go flying everywhere when you do. I am better than a few years ago I must say but like some are so hard and I really do feel defeated by a piece of plastic. It defo fits into the same category as that other packaging that knives or scissors are in and can only be cut with knives and scissors so you are screwed because the thing you need to open it is the thing that you are trying to get out. As you can tell, this is quite a passionate topic for me
This happened like literally 10 times yesterday and I know a lot of you guys, if not everyone, will feel the same way. There are a few things withing this category that I want to mention, the first being that you can’t understand what the person is saying and you ask them again and again and eventually just go off their cues. Like I had asked my friend to repeat herself twice already and then I saw she smiled so I was like “aha oh really” and like nodded my head and smiled. She could have been saying absolutely anything and I would have no clue. Then you just awkwardly stop talking because you don’t know what to say after and you spend the rest of the day trying to figure out what they say. And sometime when this happens and you think they said something but you are like what does that mean so you say what you think they said out loud and they are like what the fuck that isn’t what I said lol and then when you hear yourself say it you realise you are so dumb and it was so obvious. Like say my friend was talking about cinema’s or whatever and I was like “who’s cinema” and then I would be like that was so stupid. That was actually the worst example I could have used lol but we move.
Another thing that makes me feel stupid is when you are having a conversation and you either can’t pay attention to what they are saying for some reason or you can’t keep track of it and despite the fact you were listening, you don’t know where that part of the convo came in. It is so hard though whenever you can’t pay attention to someone who is talking but you want to and then you are thinking too much about trying to listen that you can’t actually remember what they just said but now they are asking you a question that gives no indication of what we were talking about like “what do you think” and you just panic. That literally happened to me at my job interview and I nearly shit myself. And then when you get into the position of not understanding when that part of the convo went in and you have to ask so many questions that they probably just explained like “so what was that cat? Whose was it? When and where did you find it?” And you realise you just asked the whole fucking backstory that doesn’t even matter and then sometimes you still don’t know what they are on about
When I say drinking, I don’t mean like alcohol or whatever, I just mean the action of drinking. I just can never seem to understand basic physics in the moment I am drinking from a bottle. The number of times I drank too much and had to literally drown for a second so I didn’t spit anything out is actually ridiculous. It happened so much on online school too because my camera was off, luckily, and I was bored as fuck so I would just be looking into space and the only thing I could do was drink more water and then I just didn’t grasp that if I picked up the bottle quickly and brought it to my mouth then a wave of water would happen and end up going all over me. It was so humiliating despite the fact I was the only one in the room. Do you think that someone has actually died from swallowing too much water and literally not being able to breathe. It hurts to doesn’t it. And I always seem to miss my mouth when drinking out of a glass and I am like “hmm why is there water going down my top” and then I’m like oh cause I’m an idiot. What I also hate is when you just took a drink of water and someone makes a joke and you have to literally fight for your life to not spit it out everywhere. You literally look like a puffer fish and it is not ideal.
“Child Geniuses” The TV Show
This is one of the examples where it makes me feel dumb but I am glad I’m not one of them. Like I genuinely feel bad for those kids because they defo have no friends or spend time doing normal stuff and they will become depressed and like become a hippy. That is true though. I mean great if you child is smart but like why put them in a competition that, if they doesn’t win, will make them think they are dumb but they really just aren’t. And some of the things they have to do aren’t even good for life. Even some school subjects are more useful than what they do. They have to fucking learn the order of a deck of cards and like all of the streets in London which is literally one of the hardest tests and adults struggle to do it. And the spelling bee… don’t get me started. I had to use auto-correct to spell geniuses. That is no joke. The spelling bee is better though but literally makes me feel dumb as fuck. It also cracks me up though. They are so proud of themselves and literally spell the most fucked up words. Iridocyclitis
Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this post and if you did don’t forget to like, follow and comment what else makes you feel stupid and see if anyone else can relate. But yeah, I’m going to go a do things that make me feel a bit smarter than usual like watching Dora the explora. I can always find the things before she does, lazy bitch. But yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow for even more. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT
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Bro, obviously it’s me but I just needed something a bit more exciting as the title because I don’t think many people would click on “Sorry I have posted the last few days, I was busy” so yeah, if you guessed right then well done, but if not then I hope for you sake that … Continue reading Guess Whose Back!
Hello guys, so I have posted in like two days but don’t worry it was just for my birthday so didn’t really have much time, but I’m back now so we are good to go. And what a better way to get back into things than a weekly reminder you know. I don’t really have … Continue reading Weekly Reminder
So, it is my birthday tomorrow no biggy. I’m not going to say my age because, despite the fact I may have said before or if you have already made a guess, I don’t really want any 70 year old creepy men popping up in the comments, but anyways. I am at the age where … Continue reading Here’s What I Think About Birthday’s
I feel like a common theme with my content and the titles is that they all seem like I am about to go into some political talk as though I am about to rant about taxes or other Karen shit, but like it really isn’t, so I don’t know if I attract the wrong audience with it. I can imagine a bunch of middle aged women getting their hair pumped up at the back, like the typical Karen’s do, and getting ready to take notes on the topic so they too can complain about public transport or some shit. And if that does happen to be you, you are gonna be disappointed because it is just my opinion and for a bit of a laugh. I do honestly think public transport is great because of global warming and all that, but like that is the most political thing I am gonna be saying in this post so like I’m sorry to disappoint I suppose lol. I’m gonna go through each form 1 by 1 just because… well I don’t know why but I just am and I don’t know why I am telling you but lets just roll with it.
In all honesty, I love a good train. I think it is my favorite form because it is more relaxed kind of but still not very relaxed. I don’t know why though but they stress the shit out of me and I actually do know why so let me explain. I hope I don’t sound insane, but I also feel the same way about roller coasters which is that I kinda forget that a human controls them and they aren’t just on a time limit. And what I mean by that is that when I go on a roller coaster I get really stressed that the people aren’t going to get to me quick enough so they won’t be able to check my harness, when in reality, they control it and only start it when everyone is on. It isn’t like they have to get it all done in 5 minutes and if somebody isn’t strapped in right then that’s too bad. I feel the same way about the train too, so I feel that if the people getting in first take too long, they will just shut the doors and leave but like people control it so they wouldn’t do that unless they were like bunged up. So that is kinda stressful I suppose.
These are good though because they are quick and usually not too disgusting and they are quick too. Kinda nice vibes as well ad make you feel kinda grown up but like I wouldn’t be wanting to go on at night because, as a woman, I don’t think that would end well for me but like oh well. I think I made another post not long ago talking about how the train conductors are also really scary usually and act as though they have been pissed off since the day they were born, but like you just ignore them I guess and you are fine. Sometimes you can get lucky where they don’t get to you in time so you don’t have to pay and that is an added bonus like. Another thing I also get stressed about is getting onto the train and also just the train platform. I remember the first time I went on the train alone and my mum was waiting at the platform until the train left and she was in front of the yellow line and I was so panicked even when the train wasn’t moving. I was acting as though she was about to get sucked under the train just because she was close to it. I still kinda get scared of that. And when you get onto the train and have to walk over the gap to get in, I always feel as though, somehow, my phone or whatever I am holding, is going to fall in and then I will never get it back. I don’t always feel like I will fall in, but like I have to hold onto everything for dear life because I think it is somehow going to propel itself under the train. How embarrassing would that be if I did though. I always feel like I left something on the train too even when I literally didn’t bring anything onto it lol.
This is hands down my least favourite public transport. Like what the actual fuck I hate it so much. It is stressful enough when I have to get on it to go to school because I feel like I will get on the wrong one and end up in Russia or some shit. And the time table, like I just don’t trust it. You have to make sure that you get on the right one and when you do there are barely any seats so you have to end up sitting or standing next to the druggy who smells like actual shit. And even if you do get a seat they are always so dirty and infested with like 100 different viruses. It is so stressful as well when you get on and they just start moving the bus when you are still paying or just getting to your seat and you are literally flailing everywhere. It’s as though your drunk or something and they always suddenly stop and send you flying into someone. I always get scared that they will not stop at my stop for some reason.
My school bus for going home is literally shit. There are no seats, there are first years running around and shouting everywhere and you can’t even tell them to shut the fuck up, the drivers have anger issues and they sometimes put up the wrong fucking number so they drive a different way and you are like am I getting kidnapped lol. And if they do take the right way at the start, they fucking miss the last stop and we are like “umm where are you going” and they act as though they don’t know shit and are like “where was I supposed to go” and then take a bloody one hour detour just to turn around. It is so stressful and packed and they never have the heaters on in winter but in summer they seem to work and the air conditioning is broken. I hate buses with a passion and I always will
I don’t really know if they are included in the public transport category but they need mentioned anyways. They aren’t too bad like but why does it have to be so awkward and expensive and also kinda embarrassing when you have to take one because you were late to school. When you get one you have to sit there awkwardly or just engage in small talk that makes you want to pull your eyeballs out. The people driving are usually quite nice though and the actual car is nice and clean which is a good touch. I don’t live in New York so like these aren’t any crappy yellow ones. You have to call the company to send someone over and they are nice and all so that isn’t the bad part but why the fuck are they so bloody expensive. Like I guess you have to pay for gas and it is more private but like for fuck sake. You just look at the meter going up every second and you get a fucking heart attack. Sitting in traffic wondering if you can afford to get home. Like what if you don’t have enough money to pay for it all because it is more than expected? Do you just walk away or what
I remember in primary school we went in taxis to go to things like swimming and school trips and we thought we were the bees knees. Especially if the teacher didn’t go in your car and it was just your mates and the driver. There was this one time though when it was just me, my friends and the driver and we got in and the teachers were taking role or whatever and then our driver just drove straight away because the car was full and we were like what the fuck because nobody else had left. The guy was really nice but like on the edge of scary but like he did get us to the place but then 10 minutes after, our teacher finally got there and was like what the fuck because she though we were getting kidnapped or some shit because she didn’t tell the driver to go yet. Kinda fun times I suppose. You would have to be dumb to kidnap someone in a taxi though, pretty obvious like.
I do love a good plane, don’t get me wrong. I mean I love the vibes, it is quiet and you can relax. It is quick and you get the best shows in the world, the safety briefing. But what the fuck is up with the food. Who pissed off the cooks to make them prepare this. I don’t mind the snacks and stuff like the muffins or tea because those are fine, but like I remember I was flying over to america from Northern Ireland and I had pasta or something and it was absolutely awful. Just the texture was so bad. It was all one texture and that was slimy. The chicken was literally rank, the pasta was near dripping and I got off the plane feeling like shit. The people on the plane were kinda cheeky and stuck up though but it might just be because it as a long flight or there were annoying customers, but even at the start you could tell they wanted to throw you out the plane. The first movie is always the most exciting because you are like “ooh, I’m watching a movie in the air on the way to holiday, how fun” but after you are all cramped, you are bored, always interrupted, you need to pee but don’t want to go past anyone and you still have hours left. So while I do prefer a plane to a boat, they can get a bit old very quickly. They are more relaxed though especially when at the airport because you have you plain time called every hour, there is a clear sign about it, there are shops that are way over priced but good for looking around and it is honestly a vibe. I love people watching, not in a creepy way, so it is cool to see how people are literally going everywhere in the world. And if you just sit at the seats near your terminal, you will be sure to never miss your plane, so good times all around.
I remember the first time that I went on a plane without my parents and it was just me and my twin going over to England. The flight over was totally fine and kinda fun, but on the way back I was near in tears because, as you may know, I am quite the anxious person and we had gotten to our terminal with pretty much no bother and when we got there we sat for a bit and this guy was coming around checking the size of peoples bags. Ours had gotten through before so we were like we’ll be fine. Spoiler alert, we weren’t. It was the same airline, the same bags, the same stuff in it and the bag wouldn’t go in by like 1 mm. And I was like, we are never gonna get on this plane, we are going to be stranded here, I am never going to see my family again and the worker was talking about how it was too big and I was like but it got in before and he was like “not it didn’t” and I was like “bitch yes the fuck it did” and then he started talking about having to pay £30 to get it on the plane and I was like “we don’t have that much money with us” because we had just finished our trip and hadn’t brought much in the first place. And by that point I was panicking a lot inside and could only hear more about having to pay and i kept just saying “we can’t do that. We can’t afford that” and apparently by that point he was explaining that is what you normally had to do but he would let us off, so I defo looked like I was hiding something when in reality I was literally dying inside. That has traumatised me a wee bit, but as long as I just go with someone else for the rest of my life, I should be fine.
Anyways, I would talk a bit about boats but like, in summary, they are boring and scary, so there you go. I also feel like I have gone on long enough and I am boring myself. But please comment down below if you liked this and whether you feel the same way or have had another bad experience to tell. Don’t forget to like and follow for even more content like this and to check out my other posts. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.
This isn’t your regular “get ready with me” bull shit. This is some relatable content. I’m not about to say “I write down everything I love in this world. I smile because life is great!” Nope because who the actual hell even does that? So, prepare to feel stalked because my bedtime routine is going … Continue reading What I Do To Get Ready For Bed
I was thinking about this today and it really got me worried. I have never seen an embarrassing photo of a baby in a long time. I don’t mean in old photos, but I mean that on Instagram, the babies are always in Nike or Gucci with their hair immaculate and they never are caught … Continue reading The Next Generation Are Going To Be Messed Up and Here Is Why
The world needs more pockets. Nope, that isn’t a joke. Today I am talking about why the world needs more pockets *gets kicked out of Climate Change organisation* In all honesty though, I have a solid argument about why we need more pockets. Maybe not in the USA though. They’ll just carry more guns 😮 … Continue reading The World Needs More…
I think we all related to this title a bit too much when you first read it. I know that whoever clicked on this was like “this shit about to be good” and it is because I am going to tell you about a few times that I have asked that question in my head and I am pretty sure you will be able to relate to at least a few of these, and if for some reason you don’t, you either don’t have any siblings or you are a foetus and haven’t experienced the world yet. So lets get started shall we.
“Are you in a bad mood?“
This one needs a bit of context but you can probably understand what I mean already. I hate whenever you are just having an overall bad day and you just feel a bit low and can’t be arsed to do anything or act nice all the time and then your parents go ahead and say “why are you in a bad mood”. I don’t know if they don’t understand but it sound so freaking condescending and I wasn’t in a “bad mood”, I was having a bad day and they are not the same thing. Just because we may not be smiling 100% off the time, it doesn’t mean we are a full on annoying teen. To be honest, I get annoyed whenever they mention mood at all. Like if they were like “hows the mood today” and you just look at them like, was it that hard to just say how are you. I don’t know if that is just me but it ruins the already depressing day. Just because I am a teen it doesn’t mean that I am grumpy every time I am quiet. I rest my case bitch.
Looking at your phone
You know when you are sitting next to someone and you are just on your phone cause your bored as fuck and then they have audacity to just watch everything you are doing and they try to fucking hide the fact they are spying on you but like you aren’t dumb so you can tell they are side-eyeing you. Like I don’t know why but it stresses me out so much and I don’t want to do anything because if I look up at them or move my phone so they can’t see it, they get offended. Like bitch you were the one that was spying on me so don’t get offended. I don’t really mind if it is my friends or something because if I am on my phone it is for a particular reason you know, but it just aggravates me. Especially on road trips because I sit in the middle (so my sisters don’t literally kill each other) and they both are able to just stare at my phone. Even though they usually don’t, I am too scared to do anything in case they look over for even a second and then shout something like “DAMN YOUR SNAPCHATS SO DRY!!” or “Why are you playing that. That’s so boring”. That is the point where you just put down your phone and stare at them for a while until you reach the perfect moment to say “shut the fuck up” and then you go back to normal.
This one goes out to all the people with siblings who have high blood pressure from the fear that comes with walking past or through a door. It really do be scary because there will also be a 99% chance that someone is going to scare you or throw something at you. It is fun to be fair, if you are the one scaring or throwing something. But I have become very observant in my lifetime because I just scan every sound, movement and light to make sure the coast is clear. Going into my kitchen is the most dangerous place because people can hide at both sides of the door, but if you hide behind the door, I will see you because I look through the crack as I walk by. It is a skill I guess, no biggy lol. And our dog is a big give away too because he just stares at you like an idiot. Another thing is when you are sitting down and you just get the urge to annoy them. It is really weird and can lead to a lot of things. At my stage, we have moved on from attacking the other for what they do and now we kinda just stare at each other like what the fuck just happened. Sometimes, what I like to do is throw a pillow, randomly punch them on the shoulder, leave their door open and then just freestyle it you know. It is quite the fun one, unless they pick to fight back and you get scared that they actually will kill you 🙂
The last thing I want to mention today is whenever people state the fucking obvious. Like they state every fucking thing as though they have just become the dumbest people on earth. It literally angers me to just talk about it. And these people pop out of nowhere. I could be walking outside with my dog on the leash and someone would pop out from the fucking sky and be like “are you taking the dog on a walk” and you just stare at them like “no, I’m leaving the dog outside to die” Like what the fuck does it look like I’m doing. Or when you sit in a room watching the TV and they come in and are like “oh, are you watching something” and you look at them like “no actually, I am fucking blind. Can you tell me where I am?”. They literally ask the most ridiculous things too. I am sure that one of these type of people has just risen up from the depths of hell and asked “are you breathing” and then went back down laughing evilly, leaving the other person on the floor crying with anger. I can picture it now. Can people seriously not just connect the dots, it isn’t that hard bitch.
Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed that and you related to a few of them. You have to admit though, you have been through at least 2 of these. Comment down below if you have and also feel free to tell me what you get annoyed by and I might mention you in my next post. Don’t forget to like, follow and comment if you liked this content and I will be sure to make more like this. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.
Hi guys. This post is quite late but I am sure none of you really care about that. The truth is though, this week has been tough and I don’t want to hide that from you all because despite the fact I usually upload positive content and jokes etc. my life is not perfect. Not … Continue reading Weekly Reminder
Don’t be expecting some type of soppy shit like “the ability to love” or “empathy” because this is not it bitch. This is the honest shit and it is especially relatable if you have siblings but maybe you do still understand. For context, I have an older sister and a twin sister and I live … Continue reading Superpowers You Get Living With Your Family
In the wise words of Ariana Grande, “whoever said money can’t solve your problems must not have had enough money to solve ’em” and I live by that honestly. It is true though. Like a lot of my problems are caused by money but can also be fixed by them soooo. But every time I … Continue reading Money Can’t Solve Your Pro… Shut The Fuck Up
Hey guys, so I haven’t really posted on here in a wee bit but like life happens so deal with it. Anyways, I guess I just wanted to just talk about how today I am kind of transitioning back into a normal, pre-covid, life. And what is it that I am doing you might ask? Well, I am going to be going back to Ju-Jitsu for the first time in forever which is kind of fun but at this point I don’t even know if I am interested in going and that could be because it has been a while or it could also be my mental state lol. A large portion of it is also not being able to body slam people and knock the shit out of them. You don’t really do that in Ju-Jitsu anyways, but like I did karate before and there were fights that you could do and it was actually quite fun. I think the only reason I stopped that was because it was becoming very serious for me and they wanted to put me in world championships and that shit but I am quite a home-bird and also that was around the time I started first year and my mental health was… declining. So yeah, in another world you could have been watching me knock the shit out of someone on the Olympics, but that would be women’s sports so I guess it isn’t that big. LOL THAT WAS A JOKE I SWEAR. I AM A WOMAN AND JUST MAKING FUN OF THE FACT MEN THINK WOMEN’S SPORTS IS BORING.
But yeah, I think I tried 4 different martial arts classes in my lifetime. I also swear that when I first asked my parent’s if I could start karate I thought I was making up a word but I must have heard it from someone subconsciously and I was so freaked out when they said “sure”. I’m not sure if that was a mistake or not but I did ballet before and that was not my cuppa tea lets just say. I have a really embarrassing story from ballet but I don’t think I will ever tell you what it is. So I don’t know why I just told you that if I am not even going to tell the story lol but yeah it was embarrassing. Do you know what is funny though, and my English teacher would literally eat this up, is that I started my ‘martial arts journey’ in the leisure center and the 4th that I am in now is at the same leisure center! Cyclical structure?! I hate how I thought of that. LETS ANALYZE IT! no. I never have to do that again and I am thankful for that everyday.
You probably aren’t wondering, but I am going to tell you, why I left each of the classes. They are pretty good stories actually so lets get started
- The first place I went to was at the leisure center and it was for karate. My friend at the time went their too and I was like wow this is so fun. Except for when the grading part came (if you don’t know, this is how you go up the belts). The man that was their was so fucking creepy and there were so many people I didn’t know and the building that it was in was so sketchy and like had the worst vibes. I think a lot of my anxieties formed there. So that was one reason, and literally gave me PTSD to think about, but the other reason was because it was a small class and literally took fucking ages to move up just one belt. I think that for moving up each belt you had to do 2 gradings and then when you got to the higher belts you had to do 4 to get to the next belt. I know the black belt takes a while but like the fucking rest of them!? There was no need. So I left
- The second place I went to was probably one of my favorites because the people their were nice, I moved up pretty quickly because, ya know, I was a pro and all that. I stayed there a while and only left because high school really messed me up. I remember one time I literally cried when I was doing one of my gradings because I was so stressed out about everything. It was in a nice hall this time but like was still far from home and different to usual and really just set a bad vibe for the rest of the day. I liked this one a lot because they were obviously serious about it and actually did fighting and shit. There were competitions I went to and did well at and I nearly got to my brown belt I think, but I still remember the last day I went there and I was literally holding back tears and then when I got back to the car my mum was like “what’s wrong” and you know that hits different when you have been holding back tears the whole time, so then I quit. Little did I know that was only the fucking start lmao. High school was not good for me, let me tell you that. But I actually enjoyed it and fully miss it.
- The third place was BY FAR the worst of them all. I remember going to it and it was a fucking joke. I should have known from their logo and their fucking clown gees. It was new and my mum was like you need to go because you are good at martial arts and I was like fine and I actually hated it with a passion. They made it seem like they were so cool but they pretty much made up their own fucking martial art. These people spent 30 minutes of the 45 minutes doing warm ups and then the last 15 minutes I was having to work my way through literal fetuses doing random ass moves. They had a fucking grey belt! I might as well leave it there. They fully made up a belt and thought they were doing something. Like bitch just stop. And they would have all these literal weapons that looked like they were from an unrealistic ninja movie. I stayed there way too long and it was honestly embarrassing. People literally send their kids there and think they are gonna become a pro fighter but no, they are just gonna become a joke. So I left that place
- The forth place. The place I am at now. The place that I like despite a few different complications. The people there, to start, are mainly nice, but there are a select few who I… dislike strongly and would happily knock out. I am on my purple belt actually so have been there a while. The people are nice and, unlike the third place, they are official and not a joke. I am starting back today and the only reason I am not looking forward to it is that you aren’t even allowed to throw people so there quite literally will be nothing to do, but it’s fine. There are other reasons too but I think I have insulted my peers enough today.
Anyways, that is all I can be bothered to talk about today. Lets hope it all goes well and I can control my emotions well enough. I am also not very fit after all that time off so literally watch me get the reddest face ever lmao. Are you guys starting anything normal at the moment or are a lot of your hobbies still closed? Leave your answer in the comment section below, I would love to hear what you are doing. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT
Right, hear me out guys. This may sound like utter shite but I swear when you think about it for long enough, it literally makes no fucking sense, or well, at least it is such an amazingly weird thing. There is just a time of day where you could walk down the street and everyone … Continue reading Do You Know What’s Weird? Sleeping
To all my friends out there, I am sorry bitches but like this is my big goal. You are already my whole life so that’s why it isn’t a goal but of course I will still spend time with you. Or I will for as long as my mental state will let me lol. That … Continue reading My Only Summer Goal
Bro if you came here looking for fucking pictures where one blade of grass is missing from one photo, you clicked on the wrong post. This is just a cheeky wee story time about how times have changed between summer when I was pretty much a foetus and summer now. Because there is a lot … Continue reading Spot The Difference | It’s Summer Bitches!
So guys, I didn’t get the job, but I mean it’s fine. Honestly, like it’s fine. This was my first ever one to be fair so if I was expecting results, I would be a bit dumb you know. The truth is though, I don’t know what I would have done if I did get the job. The guy would ring me and be like “hey you got the job” and then I would be like “that’s great thank you” and then it would be an awkward pause just with me on the other line like what the fuck now. And if I got the job I would most definitely be like “well fuck. I don’t actually want to work though”. People always say to look at the positives, so in this situation that is that I have an excuse to do nothing. I guess I will have to look for more work in the mean time, but like doe now I can be like “damn, I wish I could be walking back and forth between Karen’s and a boiling kitchen with heavy plates and 0 hour of sleep. I guess I will just relax and be sad about it”.
For me, I am the type of person whose social battery can go from 100 to 0 in a second. I’m basically an iPhone battery bitch cause it changes real quick. So imagine what I would be like if I had to be crazy happy for a bit and then all of a sudden I crashed. No tip for me I guess. This would literally be me… “Hi, My name is Ally and I am going to be your server today! What can I get for you guys 🙂 Ok, so that’s 2 burg… *crashes on ground, rolls into ball, sleeps*” and the customers are like “we’ll have chips with that too”. It would be a laugh but like everyone would think I am some sort of quirky emo.
I guess I don’t feel too bad that I didn’t get the job because literally half of the people my age applied for it. I wonder how many got it though? Lol, everyone but me. Imagine. I could never step foot in that restaurant again, not like I go there anyways but still, I would keep my distance. The thing is though, I thought the interview went quite well. Me and the guy were kinda hitting it off, in the non-relationship way, as in we chatted. We had things in common and a bit of banter you know. Toxic friendship I suppose. Nrs only real ones know. But no, he actually didn’t really ask that many questions. Maybe that was a red flag that he already found the good ones and didn’t give a shit anymore. Do you guys want a re-inaction of what the thing was like, with a bit of a twist and my inner commentary. No? Shut up, Imma do it anyways.
So I walked in, already sweating like a pig, and the restaurant was kind of empty but like there were a few people working there. I saw one girl and she was like “just wait there for a second” and I was like ok but I don’t want a fucking seat, I want to take your fucking job, but then another waitress was like “is everything ok” and I was like “no actually, life is pretty tough at the moment beca…”, “no I meant can I help you” and then I said I was here for an interview and I sat down for a bit at a random table which was kind of awkward because it was a reserved table and I didn’t know if that was for me or if a family would walk in and just see this random sweaty girl on their seat. Oh, I would also like to clear up that the whole “is everything ok” bit from above was a joke, I didn’t do that lol. Just making sure But I was just there looking awkward as fuck because I didn’t want to go on my phone because the guy defo would have come and said no right on the spot for being a lazy hoe, so I just starred into nowhere as I sat and waited for 10 mins with my CV in my dripping, shaking hand. Then the guy came and I went from 0 to 100 real fast. Like, my waitress mode was turned on to maximum bitch.
Oh my god, this part is so embarrassing, but when we were going to the table he was saying “the hand sanitizer is there but be careful when you press down because it can squirt out a bit” and I was like ok, there is no way I could mess this up, we are fine. The thing is, I thought it just meant it splattered a bit, but no. This bitch FLEW. Like I had my hand over it a bit to catch any spray, but this hoe went right over it. And I looked so dumb, but I don’t know if he saw. Like he just told me to be careful and then I went ahead and got it everywhere anyways. I was near wetting myself because it still was kinda funny to be honest. It really defied the laws of gravity. I really don’t know how it did that you know. Maybe that was the first test and he realised I was an absolute idiot so he just decided on the spot.
There is more to the story really, but it isn’t even that funny or important, I just basically acted over enthusiastically and agreed to what he said. I also can’t be bothered to type the rest because I am quite the tired one today, but I will post tomorrow hopefully so don’t forget to subscribe, like and comment so that I can make this my job instead. Show that bottle of hand sanitizer that I am the shit. But yeah, I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.
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My last ever GCSE exam (hopefully) is on tomorrow. Pretty freaky. Didn’t really think I would make it this far. I was wanting to do one of the things where it is like after 2 years, 107 hours of study, 20 mental break downs etc. but I can’t add up all of the mental breakdowns … Continue reading Weekly Reminder
So yesterday I just finished my last ever English exam and saying I am buzzing is pretty much an understatement. I mean I am pretty sure I failed it but it is over now so I don’t give a shit. But the thing is, GCSEs weren’t even such a big deal. Maybe that is because … Continue reading Here’s The Thing About GCSEs…
Hey guys. So this week has been a very “what the fuck” week if you get me. Like there are a lot of moments where I have been asking myself “what is even the point lol”. NO, I don’t mean that in a mentally ill kinda way, but like when I am told to do … Continue reading Could I Be Bothered? | Part 3
Hey guys, so if you have read my blog before, you will know that I have a twin sister. We have pretty much the same friend group but there are a few people that she would be more friendly with than me because… well, I’m a socially awkward kinda bitch. But the reason the title of this post is “the audacity” is because she went out with one of her friends and I realised, she has a life away from me. That cheeky bitch.
Was that time we spent together in the womb not enough for her?! I mean how can she function and survive away from me. It just isn’t allowed. I mean if they asked me if I wanted to go out, would I say yes? Probably not because I am starting this thing called “slowly growing apart from others until I have no friends and eventually be in the elite level of depression”. It isn’t funny. I highly don’t recommend but I can’t go back now lol. I really can but that is besides the point. I then realised that my older sister and my mum and my dad have a life. They are not just characters that only live for my life. They have friends, a personality, they must be nice if people actually want to be around them. People see them as a friend or a co-worker and not as a parent or a sister. And sometimes you just gotta take a moment to realise all that and kind of understand the… what’s the word… the audacity. Even you, the person reading this, has a life. You are somewhere in the world doing something, maybe you are on a train, you are on a plane, you just woke up from a nap, maybe you are having lunch. I don’t even know! But you have a whole freaking life and by some miracle you are reading my own freaking post and I don’t know how low your day has got to get to reading this shit of a post, but hey, thanks I suppose.
Do you know what else makes me go “the audacity of that bitch” is whenever you are walking and a person that clearly sees you doesn’t move out of the way even a bit when the are taking up the whole path. Let me tell you a few stories about a couple of those times. So it was last Christmas. I was walking my dog as you do, and this kid, an obvious prick, was on his bike around his street. I was on the footpath and he was on the road and I was walking, minding my own business. There were no cars around or nothing. Just me on the footpath and him on the road. And guess what this idiot decides to do. He looks me straight in the eye, goes onto the foot path and cycles right into me. He nearly fucking hit my dog and I wouldn’t give as much of a shit if he hit me, but if he hit my dog, lets just say I would be on Santa’s naughty list and he would be on the ground. He is defo gonna be a chav when he grows up. I just glared and was just thinking that he is gonna be a prick to some poor person in the future. He is gonna be so mean to whoever he is around and I hope to fuck it ain’t me. Next time I plan to just stop and let him move out of the way first because ladies first bitch!
Another time something like this happened was literally last week and again I was walking my dog and it was in a forest park so the paths are a fine size, but there isn’t much space to go off the path if you needed to. So I was walking and this man and his wife we walking towards me. They dead-ass looked me in the eyes, they fucking saw me, and I moved to the side a bit to be polite because I know there is still the whole “respect your elders” bullshit, but I couldn’t move much further so I expected them to at least move to the side a bit, especially with the pandemilevato. But guess what, they don’t move an inch. Not a fucking millimetre and here I was looking like an actual ass because I had to turn into a fucking leaf just to not bump into them. And you may say they didn’t have enough room or they didn’t see me. But they looked right at me, they could have gone one behind the other or moved over a bit, and they did the same thing again. I am going to make a pact with you guys though, and you have to try and do the same. Next time you see that someone is going to do something similar to you, don’t move. Stand your ground and then if the people turn around and be like “your rude” or “why did you hit into me” just say “because I haven’t got no more fucks to give”. I mean quite obviously, don’t do this to a car or if you yourself are in a car because I don’t want to be charged for being the cause of a murder.
Reading through this post, the vibes changed quite quickly didn’t they, but I think that was a pretty relatable one if I say so myself. But anyways, don’t forget to like, follow and comment if you enjoyed that content. Make sure you check out some of my other posts as well because, not to toot my own horn, but some are pretty good. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT
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I would just like to say sorry for any existential crisis that might come from this post, so I warned you I guess. This one can go pretty deep if I do say so myself, but I am going to get started before it all goes through my head, but none of it actually on … Continue reading Do You Know What’s Weird? Time
Hey there guys. So a while back, when I was volunteering at this run, an older guy was with me and others. They started chatting about how much rubbish there was everywhere and how global warming is getting really bad. Being the youngest there by at least 15 years, I didn’t really say much, oh … Continue reading What I am Doing To Help The Environment | What Are You Doing?
My last ever GCSE exam (hopefully) is on tomorrow. Pretty freaky. Didn’t really think I would make it this far. I was wanting to do one of the things where it is like after 2 years, 107 hours of study, 20 mental break downs etc. but I can’t add up all of the mental breakdowns I had because it is a fuck tone, while on the other hand, I could count all my study hours on one hand. Why is that literally not even a joke though lol? But anyway, this is serious. I have my biology exam tomorrow and let’s just say it isn’t my strong point, but I am excited to get it done and over with after 5 years of being forced to do it. I am kinda scared, kind of excited, very much exhausted, but I just wanted to make a reminder to all of the people out there who are in a similar situation or are doing something difficult at the moment. You never know, somebody could be reading this in 2050 on mars and they are reading this in their mind thinking it is so retro that I have to use my fingers to type and they are just vibing in some space hope. Either that or WW3 wiped all of humanity out lol. But even if you are that person, I hope this will help you in some way, although isn’t the only problem is the shortage of mums? Mars needs mums sorry that was a bad one I have to admit. This is supposed to be serious actually, but I also wanted to talk about it in another way, through a story. So enjoy.
I am on the first step. You know, the steps you are told to take if you want to succeed. There are only 4 of them which seems easy, but it’s kinda hard. But maybe I am just overthinking these things. The first step, the one I am on, is getting straight A’s in school. That was a hard one to. I had to ignore friends and write lots of notes. I got very little sleep, but I got there eventually. Sure, I lost a lot, but it’s worth it, right? My next step is getting a degree. This one seems fun with the parties and friends, but I can’t quite see why people pay so much for it. I guess I will find out when I’m there. The thing is, step 2 is quite dangerous in terms of survival. A lot of people usually don’t make it past here because of mental problems, some completely lose the degree and go tumbling down the stairs. I have never seen anyone get back up after falling down. But that won’t happen to me. Obviously, it won’t, because I am different. My parents told me so. After you get your degree you can move on to step 3. Or as it better know, the point of no return. Once you get there they don’t let you back down, or at least they very rarely do. What is up there? Oh, a secure job. Or, well, they call it secure, but I have seen lots of people fall down from there. But that won’t happen to me when I get up there. I am going to be so smart and ready, and just like my parents said, I am different. So I am not worried about it. You have to stay there for a while though. Pretty much for the majority of your life. But it’s cool. You can get a family and a house. But that is pretty much it, I suppose.
Then comes the last step. Step 4. That can only happen if you have gathered a good enough pension in step 3. If not, then you are booted down the steps again. I don’t think they do much up there though. It is a lot of waiting to go through the pearly gates at the end. Why? Because the pension they got usually doesn’t leave much room for adventure and by that point, they are exhausted. Who can blame them though, it is an awfully long journey. I am not sure what is past the gates though. People come up with all types of stuff and it is pretty cool. I am looking forward to it I guess. I mean if I went all that way to get there, it better be worth it. But no matter what, I am still on the first step. Just waiting on the cold rock steps. People seem to like it here, but I don’t. I can’t stop getting the feeling that there is something more. I have asked others about it, but they say that is all fake and never actually happens. Especially to people like us. But I swear that at times when I look around, I see other steps in the distance. It just flickers and maybe it is a hallucination, but it seems so real. So fascinating. There are never many people on it though, despite the fact that it looks so much nicer than over here. Every time I see it, it stays for longer and it gets closer. I am fed up with trying to show the others because they make me feel crazy and it makes me move farther away. So I keep this to myself in hopes that someday I get close enough to reach them.
It’s been a week. I am on the 3rd step now. I mean it is fun but it gets me distracted from the other steps. I feel as though I am always looking at what else there is, and not at the next step to success like everyone else. I think I am just dreaming and I haven’t come to terms that this is the best way for me to get to the gates. The way that I can make my parents proud of me and get the right job for a comfortable retirement. It still bugs me though. I mean why, after all these years of being so set on what to do and how I will do it, I suddenly don’t want it anymore. I mean I am fixating on the impossible.
Another week. I have decided that I am going to jump. I can’t bear being on these steps anymore when I know that there is something else out there. At this point, I don’t even care if I don’t find anything because it will always be better than there. I have lost too many people to step 3 and I don’t want to become one of them. I have no skills for this, no knowledge. All of my schooling years have taught me nothing about how to make it to the other steps, so I have to find it on my own. There is no turning back now, but I am going to try everything I can to get to a better place.
I’ve made it! After all the long, lonely weeks, I have found the steps. I made sure to not let it out of my sight. I put everything I had left into getting there and I made it. When I got there, I looked up and my breath was taken away. I finally found where I was meant to be. The steps were nicely laid out, there weren’t as many people, it looked like a steep trek, but each seemed so much better than the one before. The people who fall down a step don’t get stuck at the bottom. They seem to have the support of some kind. I am pretty sure they call it knowledge, or determination, or something along those lines. There are so many more steps, but they get easier and shorter every time you get to the next one. The people look so much happier here than on my other step. Why did nobody tell me about this? Why was I told that the steps to success were over there when the ones right in front of me seem so much better? Well, I guess it is time to find out. It is time to get started.
I am on the first step. You know, the steps that were only in the movies and never talked about. There are many to go which seems hard, but it’s kinda awesome. Maybe I am different after all.
———————————————————— The end ————————————————————
Anyways, that’s the story. What this kind of means is just that, despite what other’s tell you and what you think is right, there are different steps out there. Despite the fact you might be told it is ridiculous or fake, it is possible. So no matter what happens with your exams, or later on in life, you aren’t useless, these just aren’t the steps for you. But when you find them, you will be so happy and it will be so worth the wait. So take the risk, go against what they say, and it will be so worth it.
I have made a few story times in my blog. Many of which are so bad I will probably never show my face to you guys, ever. But, as I am never going to show my face, I may as well tell you some other times that I want erased from my mind and everyone elses.
This one has literally been burned into my mind and everyone reminds me of it at random moment, just as I forget about it. So it was in first year. I was waiting outside of Latin (I know it sounds so fancy but it was crap) and it was a really busy corridor. And for some reason I was leaning against the wall with my legs out a bit and then I ducking slipped. As is that wasn’t bad enough, it was in front of a bloody teaser and they just looked at me with disgust and was like “get up of the floor”. So as if it wasn’t embarrassing enough being a first year, I had to slip in front of everyone smh
Right, so when I was younger, maybe p7 or something, I did karate. I was a proper pro so I went to competitions and at one point you had to fight someone, with gloves obviously, but that’s besides the point. So my coach was like, can you fill in for someone in their fight, and I was like of course because 1, he could literally beat me up and 2, it was fun. So here I was walking to the fight and I was like where is everyone? I look down and there they were. Literal foetuses. I looked at my mum like “is this even fucking legal” and it was so bad. I could have inialated them, but I had no clue what to do and it was so crap. I quit not long after that lol
The Tea Was Too Hot
This moment was literally so painful. So my mum made us go and meet her cousin when I was like 12 or something. I was so awkward as a kid but when she asked me about my teachers I was now a literal extrovert because there was finally something I could say about. There was this teacher that was really strict and that people were scared of, it was a Latin teacher actually, and I was telling her about the teacher. She looks at my mum and goes “ THE *teachers name*” and my heart dropped. Tell me why, out of the billions of people on this earth, this bitch had to be the teachers stepdaughter. So I just told her that everyone was scared of her mum. I can never forget this.
Zoom Call Disaster
Here I was, another day on online school. It was the last lesson before we got of for 1 week. So k was excited and exhausted you know. And by this point I was sick of the awkward silence whenever she asked something so I was like, I’m just gonna get this I over with. So I waited for someone else to go first and then I eventually spoke. No joke, someone else spoke at the exact same time as me, so it was just a second of us speaking over each other and I died inside. And I never spoke on zoom again.
Goodbyes Are Always Difficult
I think this was like 5 years ago, but I had been part of a club called ‘Guides’ with my friends. For Americans, it is basically girl scouts but sexist. They taught us to like clean and cook you know. But yeah, we wanted to quite, so at the end of our last guides holiday, they were asking us what we wanted to do in guides next year and we were like, we are kinda going to quit. Let’s just say our timing was not good because they talked to us for ages and we had to spend the rest of that day, and the hour car ride home, listening to their passive aggressive comments. What made it more embarrassing was that when they were asking us if we were leaving, I was like “well we are thinking about it but probably we might 100% be leaving”. Why am I such an awkward bitch?
Anyways, that was embarrassing so please feel free to comment if something similar has happened to you or whether you have other embarrassing stories. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT
There are a lot of common things people get annoyed at, whether that is just having to sit around all day or the WiFi not working, just stuff like that. I am not talking about these things today, I am talking about the little tiny things that others may not notice, just like one of those tiny flies that fly around your face while you are talking and you just can’t stop getting distracted by it.
Silent But Deadly
I know what this title makes you think of, but that isn’t it. What I mean by it is that I hate it when there are certain teachers who ask a question and go quiet for way too long. Nobody is answering and nobody know who is about to start talking first. Maybe nobody will, but that is even worse. There are three ways this can end. 1, you speak first. Nobody else talks and you get it right. Well done you, you stopped the bomb. 2, you start to talk, but so does somebody else. You both stop starting and stopping to talk at the same time, just that little sidestep you do when trying to get past someone. You never speak on zoom again in fear of this happening. 3, nobody talks, the teacher waits longer, still nobody talks. Suddenly, you find yourself in deep shit. The teacher is shouting, complaining about everything going on in their life. Their marriage, quarantine, drinking problem. They stop. Everyone leaves. So yeah, a majority of the time, it is not ideal. I hate the silence with a passion.
Sweet Or Sour
Right, this is literally the most annoying ever. This is when the teacher’s are trying to act nice but everyone can tell they couldn’t give a shit. To be fair I don’t blame them, but passive aggressiveness annoys me in general. Like they just be staring at the camera and you can see it in their eyes that they are ready to slap us all, but they have ask a question like ‘hope you guys are all ok’. Oh my god, or they like ‘just text if you want me to help you with anything’ but you can tell they will give you fuck all if you ask them. The last example of this is also when we have had quite a quiet class, so everyone is a bit on edge, and then at the end of the class they say ‘has anyone got anything to ask’ and then time just stops. We all have our mouse on the end call button, even the teacher, but she just stares as if we have literally failed her as a class. She is as close to giving up as she is to the camera. Just their face staring. It do be giving me nightmares. Yeah, that kind of passive aggressiveness just gets to me :O
*crickets* THANK YOUUUUUU
Ok, so I guess this is nice for the teachers, but this is when the class is so quiet the whole time and then the teachers say ‘bye’ and then there is a long silence when everyone stays on the call waiting for one person to say ‘thank you’. Then everyone erupts and says THANK YOU at the exact same time. I do feel kind of bad if we don’t do that I guess, but the thing is, nobody wants to be the first person so you are just waiting there awkwardly and then all of a sudden your ears are blown off. I just can’t deal.
The most important thing is _/\/\/\_ is that all OK guys?
Just ignore my attempt of trying to portray a glitch through a keyboard. And to be fair, this kind of a big thing that happens to probably everyone, but… get over it, this is my blog. LOL anyways. You could have been sitting through a whole bloody lesson just for this one piece of info that you need and then that is the moment that they glitch. You just waiting for it and all of a sudden, BOOM, WiFi is non-existent. Yes, I probably could just ask for her to repeat that. Will I know? No. Why? Because then the exact same thing I explained in the first example will happen, and I am still recovering from last time. I mean maybe the thing she said wasn’t that important, right?
Time is Ticking Bitches
In our school, our classes are only supposed to be 45 minutes each to give us time for any technical difficulties and stuff like that. Now lets play a bit of ‘never have I ever’. Never have I ever finished class in 45 minutes. Never have I ever not been rushing to go onto my next class. Never have I ever had my class run into break and lunch time. Oh wait! I have actually. The only thing getting them away from it is the fact they are my favourite teacher. And every single time they keep saying ‘I am conscious of the time guys, don’t worry’. Umm, I don’t think you fucking are because the time is ticking. And then they keep going on with other questions and it is so dragged out because nobody answers and then they do a massive conclusion and then there is the whole bloody awkward THANK YOU thing at the end even though we have nothing to be thankful for!!!!
What Is Time Anyways
On the topic of time, I don’t think that the teachers really realise that the timetable is still a thing. They be starting and finishing these lessons as though they themselves are literally time. They also forget that, just because we at home, doesn’t mean we have more time for work. They be like ‘here is a big pile of homework’, we all panic but she says ‘don’t worry, I know it is a lot’, relaxing, then ‘I am setting it for tomorrow instead of the end of the day’, PANIC. They really woke up and chose evil.
Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed and this actually makes sense for some. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT
I know that some people might get a bit… enraged by this but it is true. I just hate it when people tell me to just ‘be positive’. I mean they act as though I am just gonna stand up tall and be like ‘ya know what, you are so right’. Do you seriously think that it would be that simple. Let me just have a wee bit of a slump OK.
Of course there are some exceptions, like when someone is reading out your blood type… wow I really do hate myself for that. Now all of my followers are just gonna be middle aged dads. Well… OK let me just be serious now. The times you can say it are when a small event happens. Like you get one bad grade, or you only have one more coin left for the claw machine…
but that is just because they are literally the most meaningless things in life. I mean you don’t go up to someone who is like clinically depressed and be like ‘it’s OK, be positive’. It doesn’t work like that grandpa, life has changed since the bloody wheel was invented. It just annoys me that people blurt out the most ridiculous things like that, and the thing is, you know that a majority of the time they are actually trying to be nice, but I mean, just don’t say that.
To be honest, I am not 100% sure why this angers me like it does, but it just makes it sound as if you think that what they are going through is literally meaningless. I mean you wouldn’t go up to someone in the army who literally is in the middle of no-mans land and just be like ‘just relax’. Like what the hell do you think is going to happen when you say that? World piece will just suddenly be restored? No, you try to bloody help them. Although, in terms of mental health, the best thing to do is just be there for them and not try to fix everything.
Sometimes teachers say it as well. They will literally stand at the front of the class with a massive pile of homework and be like ‘I know I am only giving you one day to complete this all, but just be positive and you will get through it’. You know what Karen, you just changed the world. I mean I don’t think I can fear sadness ever again. As a matter of fact, let me just do everyone’s homework. Literally words can have no magical affect to make us all better. Even if you have good intentions by saying it, just still don’t do it.
There are some times in life where you can be having the worst day. One of those days where you just suddenly realise that this is how your life is gonna be forever. You look out the school bus window, at the exact same time everyday, at the exact same street where all the workers are walking home. You see that man you see every day, wearing the exact same clothing, walking around at the exact same time, exact same place, doing the exact same thing. And you see that in everyone. You can see they have all just, accepted it. And you really don’t want to become like that but everywhere you look there are lifeless people whose bodies run on a schedule, powered by the money they get to buy the bare necessities. That is what I was feeling one day when I got off the bus to walk home. Nothing had changed. I got their at the exact same time. There was the exact same person walking their dog, the sun was just setting, and this man was mowing his lawn. He looked up and spoke to me. He said ‘hey, these are the best years of your life so just be positive’. I looked back at him and I could tell he felt as though he had just made someones day. I don’t blame him or anything, I mean how could he read a teenagers mind. But I just smiled and walked on. The sadness that made me feel was so overwhelming that my heart was nearly on the floor. I just couldn’t bare that this life would only get worse. I mean it feels so impossible but I guess it’s true. I guess it is time that I just accept this life and work that office job where I work for someone else everyday. Not thinking for myself until I need to figure out what I should take out of my grocery list so that I can afford the shopping this month. My family is so great and we have been so lucky financially, but for me I just feel like I won’t get that. And it was the fact that he just said to ‘be positive’. It sounds so simple, like I should just pick myself up and enjoy every second. But how can I do that when I know it is all gonna be worthless and nothing is gonna come from it.
I suppose that is why I don’t like the phrase. I think it should be banned. Replaced with just your presence. Obviously not from a stranger, but someone you know and trust. They should just look at you with all the compassion they have because that communicates better than any word in the dictionary.
Sometimes downplaying someones emotions can be really damaging to them. Obviously, we know you don’t mean any harm, but when your head is filled with awful things, it morphs any good intentions into bad ones. I know from experience that it is like that for a lot of people. They don’t hate you for what they say, they just feel misunderstood or as though they are literally insane. You don’t need to use your words all the time. Sometimes just being there means the most.
Thank you so much for reading. I really hope this either opened your eyes on how to communicate with others, or reminded you that you aren’t crazy if your mind switches the good into bad. That isn’t your fault. Please like and follow if you enjoyed this and even leave a donation if you like. Anything is appreciated. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.
Jokes, jokes, life is great but lets actually start these stories off.
Let me set the scene for you. You are in California for your holidays. You are around 10 years old when you and your family go into your family go into a shop. It isn’t crowded, just a few people here and there. You are just so happy to be on holiday and there are so many fun things in the shops so you look around for a while, but keep an eye on the multiple exits just to make sure that your family don’t leave. The next minute I look up, standing on my tippy toes to see over the shelves. Where the fuck is my family. Let me say, I am the worrier of the family (yes, yes, you can get autographs later) and so when I tell you my heart dropped, I mean it slam dunked itself into the concrete floor. I was like hmm maybe they just went outside right now so I check all the exits and looked around. Damn why is my heart beating fast just by typing this. The thing is, I could not see them. My mum always told me that if I get lost I should stay where I am, so I did, but then I was like I must look so weird. A smallest tourist just standing in the middle of an isle with no family, a bright red face, hyperventilating, with a souvenir in my hand. They still didn’t come to find me. I checked out the doors again just to see if they realised they had lost one of their children and when I couldn’t see them I finally went up to the counter in tears and was like ‘I can’t find my mum’. My legs where QUAKING. I was near to throwing up and then this security guard came over and was like ‘what’s the problem’ and I was like ‘MY PARENTS LEFT ME’. There were a few other shops in this wee section so we walked around those. This man probably thought I was high on drugs or caffeine because I was shaking all over the place with probably a badly matched hello kitty vest and bright yellow shorts. And finally I found them. They weren’t too far from the other shop but I hadn’t seen them as I was inside. But that isn’t even the worst part. I came running over to them with a security guard behind me and they were like ‘what happened’. THEM BITCHES DIDN’T KNOW I WAS LOST. I was in near tears. I was convinced I was an orphan. And after all that stress they didn’t even realise I was gone. Damn, thanks Mum and Dad.
OK so the only link with this story and the tile is water, but bare with me. Right, so this was only last year. Corona was in town so we couldn’t go out anywhere so we just went on a cheeky road trip to Dunegal. To be honest I could leave it there, I mean that is just traumatizing in itself. But anyways, we had got new wet suits because we were going to go in the sea. I know that sounds crazy but we just wanted a bit of a holiday experience. Anyways, I think it was the one of the last days and we went to this pretty nice beach. The waves were great and we were boogy boarding on the waves, good times all around, well, as good as Dunegal could be. First of all, my twin was literally drowning in the water and was like traumatised from that and then I was trying to catch a narly wave bro and I went quite far out. Mind you, I am terrified of the sea. I mean sea weed will give me a panic attack, no joke. And I was like, hmm, I seem to be floating out. It was kind of funny though because my sister and dad were like ‘umm are you OK?’ and here I was, in the middle of the ocean like ‘yeah it is completely cool, this is what I meant to do’ because I didn’t want to be panicking my sister. I don’t know if I am a great actor or what but I was out here literally nearly in tears paddling away on the water just like ‘hahah I am totally fine’. I was not. So every time I tried to catch a wave to go back to shore, I was just sucked back in. Like, I had never had somebody want me that much LOL. But anyways, the reason I didn’t want to panic was because my sister already nearly died and I was like ‘I gots to be strong’. Spoiler, I eventually got back by myself and my legs were shaking like jelly and then they were like ‘what the fuck just happened’ and I was like ‘nah, it’s cool man, just wanted a wee trip to the sea ya know’. Bitch I ain’t never going in the sea again. PERIODT.
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Some Cheeky Wee Discount Codes
Wow, part 3. What an achievement. I mean I feel like you guys like these and I hope they are helpful because lots of people may have nobody to tell them what it is like. I mean of course your parents could but I mean the vibes of school have changed since they have been their if you know what I mean. In today’s post I think I am going to talk about some of the different groups you expect to find and kind of how you can spot them.
Right so this is obviously more of a UK post and I am not really sure what it is in US terms. Maybe like the Chads, but more intimidating and non-american. But I mean we all know what Chavs or roadmen are so those guys are pretty much the lads. These people will most likely have a ski hair cut or the perm top styled one. They are always the really loud ones in class who think they are funny but really just aren’t and only get laughs from the ‘loud girls’ or other chavvy girls in the class. They always talk back to the teacher and sit so low down in the chair they are one minute away from getting scoliosis. That ain’t even a joke. Like there legs will be taking up all the room under the desk. They will all most like vape, smoke, drink everyday and ask you for homework even though you have never spoken to them in your life. You may be lucky though. You usually discover that some of them are actual decent people alter on in the the school years. Yes, you will find out some of them are creepier than you thought, if you know what I mean. But you can see that some of them are good people and just act like that in front of their friends. Just don’t expect to get anything back that they borrowed from you.
The Loud Girls
So I guess this depends on what school you go to, but these girls can be chavs or just the people who think they are better than everyone else. Try not to get caught in the trap though. I always thought that I needed to be in that group because they were so popular and got all the guys. Bitch trust me, it ain’t worth it. They have lots of ‘friends’ but always fall out and get in huge arguments. They do go out with a lot of the guys but I mean they either get cheated on or just break up the next day. I mean they take on and off relationships to the next level. These are also the people who laugh at the guys ‘jokes’ even when they aren’t funny and flick their pin-straight hair. This group of girls and the guys I was talking about are always the teachers pet. Don’t ask me why but some of the teachers literally worship them. Usually those teachers prefer the guys. Like the guys could spit in their face and they would be like LOL, but if you forget to finish one of the questions, they will rain fire on you. It is usually the PE teachers who love the girls because they usually play hockey or netball or something like that. They will literally ignore you as though the other girls have like hypnotized her. They want all the gossip and think they are best mates. Like it is weird. You kind of also want to stay out of their way if you can because if you are in a group with them, they will do nothing. They would stand up in the front of the class and just take the piss which gets so annoying. You will find out more about them when you get to school but just know that they aren’t as great as they seem. Just find some solid friends and you will be fine.
The Normal Ones
These guys don’t really have a name. Usually this group is more girls and then the guys are slightly weirder. That sounds mean but I didn’t mean it that way. The teachers that I was talking about will literally ignore your existence. Their whole attention will be on the others. No matter how hard you work they will not appreciate it. However, you will have teachers that are the nicest people. They could literally be your mum or dad, and these ones will be so nice to you. They are fed up with the others and actually watch out for us guys. They let us answer. Get our voice heard. Congratulate us. Actually talk to us. I mean these are the guys who were born to be teachers. Not the ones who despise their job and project that on us. The people in this sections actually have a personality and are nice people. They can actually keep relationships with friends and they don’t always have a boyfriend but when they do it is actually something meaningful. They do well in school, they are nice and just over all good people. Yes they may not have such a big group of friends but with the friends they do have, they have a strong bond
That is all for today really. I mean of course there are other groups but these are the main ones and the others kind of just depend on your school. Of course there are other obvious groups but I didn’t want to talk about them in case I sounded rude or offensive. They are good people too but just slightly more annoying in a different way to the lads. I think that you should just try to be yourself and whatever group you are in, you will be happy. Nobody really thinks about groups when you are in school so don’t worry about that. All I wanted to get across was the type of people you will meet just to show you that you aren’t weird for not being really loud or chavvy. Just be yourself and people will accept that. Even the annoying groups in school have a heart and they respect your confidence. Don’t let them get to you and just try to enjoy these years I guess.
Thank you so much for reading. Please like, follow, and donate some money so that I can keep all of my content free for everyone. Also check out some of my codes so that you can get some money off on your next. There is also a great app that I found which can help you all earn a little more cash so enjoy. Just remember to stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.
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As a living person, I can say that I get this a lot. If you are not sure what it means, look it up. Jokes, it technically means that you feel as though you aren’t qualified enough, or don’t deserve to be in the position you are in. Or at least that’s what I know it as. I never know what that feeling was until last year when someone said how they felt and they were like ‘well, that’s impostor syndrome for ya’. I want to post about this because I want others to know that there is a name for what they feel, others feel it, and it’s OK.
Lets start with a wee story time of when I have felt impostor syndrome. To be honest, it is all the time, but that is way too long of a story. For one, I felt it when I went to high school. Even though I did a literal test to get in and they could only select a certain amount, I got in. Even though I did well on those tests, I still felt like it wasn’t good enough. I would ask around and other people in my new school got 2 or 3 more points than me and I don’t know why but I felt as though me being there was a mistake and as though I was going to be discovered at some point, so I tried to earn my place. I got good grades and worked hard in class. But still that didn’t go away. Not until a few years after, when nobody came to kick me out of school. I mean I got the grades to go in but I still felt as though I was taking someone else’s place, but I wasn’t. I felt like the only reason I got in was because my sister’s got in, but it wasn’t. Sometimes I still feel that way in school but I just accept it really, this is where I am and it doesn’t matter how I got here I suppose.
Now lets get a story about a famous person who felt that way. You really aren’t gonna believe me when I say this but Emma Watson (yes THE Emma Watson) felt impostor syndrome when she went to an arena full of feminists. I know it sounds crazy but it’s true. I am pretty sure that it was one of her first talks in this area but in an interview I heard that when she got in and was talking to other feminists, she felt as though she didn’t belong there, in that crowd with other people who had talked to crowds about the matter. But now look where she is. She is on stages everywhere talking about equal rights. How crazy is that, to know that she once felt like she wasn’t meant to be in that hall with all the influential speakers, and is now one herself. Imagine if she gave into that and left the arena. When I think of the word ‘feminism’ or ‘equality’ I instantly think of her. It just shows how this happens to literally everyone, no matter your status or fame in the world. It is how you view yourself, almost as if all the faith you have in yourself is gone. It is OK to feel this way though, as long as you keep going and don’t give up.
It is weird though, isn’t it, how most of us feel as though we don’t belong. Even people who have completed their PHD in university, don’t believe they deserve to be in the place in life they are now. By the way, this isn’t me talking about Emma Watson, this is just people in general. But I literally have heard stories about smart people who feel this way. So I guess it goes to show that it doesn’t go away by learning new stuff. To be honest, I don’t know how it goes away. You just don’t think about it as much I guess.
I don’t know if this is impostor syndrome or not, but even when I went to talk to a councilor about my mental health, I didn’t really believe that I was ‘bad enough’ to get the treatment I was getting. I am not really sure if that is just denial or whatever, but it is true. I felt like I wasn’t as mentally ill as others so therefore I shouldn’t be getting helped. But I mean, that has gone away a bit now. I guess I just told you guys this because your brain can trick you into believing so many false things but yet you are here. You got where you are for someone reason. You probably deserve it and it is fate so I guess try to cherish the moments, be thankful and confident.
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I have a story and it ain’t a good one.
So it started a long time ago, at 12pm yesterday, I was just face timing my friends at lunch and talking about how we were given a ‘screen free’ day off on Monday, and of course we are all excited for this even though there was fuck all to do. But then BOMB I got an email from my teacher reminding us ‘so even though it is a day off on Monday, the people in my history class still need to do there exam. Thank you’. Literally all it sounded like to me was ‘hey you unimportant piles of shit, you know that mental health day on Monday? Yeah, well you don’t matter that much to us anyways so just still do the test. I hate you all and I hope you have the worst weekend.’ Like I really did not appreciate that. The literal proof that I NEED a mental health day is that I am literally going to see my counselor on that day. I mean hello? Do you need me to spell it out for you. It is last period as well so it isn’t like I can get it done and over with.
So of course I told the mum and was like ‘guess what bitch’ and she was like ‘what’ and I was like ‘you ain’t gonna believe it’ and she was like ‘just fucking tell me already’ and I was like ‘I have work to do on the day we have off’. And then she said ‘I’m gonna call the school and complain’ and then I was like ‘don’t do it girl’ because the teacher hates me enough already and my mum was like ‘I’m not gonna do it girl, I was only thinkin’ about it’. But then I see her calling the school and she was like ‘I did it’. Or at least it was along those lines. To say I was scundered would be an understatement. I was digging my grave already. But yeah that happened.
Then later on they sent out an email to all the parents confirming that ‘this is a day off school because we all need a mental health break during these troubling times. We want to make sure everyone is OK and keeping well, APART FROM a select group of people who are doing a test that day even though they could be easily moved to another but we just don’t care about them enough to give a shit. Goodnight lol :)’ My mum was not having it and neither was I to be honest, like they can’t abuse the power or google classroom and make me work on a day off. If you have seen my last post, this is one of the techniques and is it working? Um yes.
But what this has to do with the title is that society gives out so many mixed signals like ‘follow this trend’ but ‘be yourself’. ‘Try this new diet’ but ‘you are perfect and you shouldn’t change’. Like it is so dumb and I can’t keep up. And know this situation is happening where they are like ‘you are loved and we care about you’ but ‘only some of you. The others can go fuck themselves, here is a test that will go towards your GCSE’. Like did I miss the memo where it said ‘nobody cares about you’ because I would of at least wanted to know. I think the world needs to make up their mind because I know my brain is gonna go for the wrong one. It already has and I don’t want that to happen to anyone else.
But I guess that can work in our favor some times because we can see that no matter what we do someone is gonna have something to say, and no matter what you do someone is gonna support you. And it is when you do what you want that you find the people you shouldn’t be with and the people who you should. So I mean I guess that is a good thing because it is always easier said than done. There are gonna be people who want you to fail but they are just angry because you are being who you want to be and they just don’t have the strength to be themselves as well. I mean if everyone is who they are supposed to be then why would anyone give people shit for who they are because we all have the chance to be happy and unique.
What I recommend and will try to start doing myself is to create a third path, not just ‘do this’ or ‘do that’ but add in an ‘me’ option. I can see they are there and I can still choose those paths but I know that they aren’t me and they are the wrong decision. It is gonna be a damn scary path but the thing is, other people are gonna be at the end and I am gonna get on so well with them. I can be myself, make great friends, understand each other. It will be great and I hope you enjoy it too.
Thank you so much for reading this and I hoped this helped you to know that other people are just as confused as you are right now. There are so many new things that we think we need to have or do and it is so hard to keep track but I’ll make it all understandable. You aren’t gonna like it but… do what makes you happy.
We have to admit it, one of the worst feelings in the world is embarrassment, and that is coming from someone who has gone through many tough moments. I always feel better though when I hear other peoples embarrassments, which sounds quite evil know that I say it. But I’m going to tell you two of the most embarrassing moments of my life. PS, please don’t judge me.
Story 1 – A homeless man
It started just like any day. A cold morning. A warm cup of coffee. A train into town with my friends. And a partridge in a pear tree. Now, as I was walking out of the train station it was really busy, I mean you know how Saturday afternoons are. And we were walking in the massive crowd, chatting, having a wee bit of fun and we were about to turn to get on this bridge to get into town. Then it happened. One of my most embarrassing regretful moments. I tripped over this homeless man who was asleep at the turning point onto the bridge. Like I didn’t step on him or anything but I proper knocked my foot off him. I didn’t even know it was a person until I walked on a bit and my friend was like ‘that was a whole ass person’ and I felt so bad. In my defense though, I really did not see him there, it was crowded, and he was right at the blind spot of the turn. To this day I do not know if I kicked him in the head or what but I will be forever traumatized and sorry.
Story 2 – In the woods
This story… This story makes me die inside every time I hear it. It wasn’t that long ago actually. Maybe a few weeks back, but I was out on a walk by myself with my dog, Skylar. I was going down these wee step things when I saw this woman who was doing a photo shot for a bag. It must have been her company or something but that is besides the point. And you know how it is, you gotta try and look good in front of the photographer. I was ready for her to ship me off to a modelling agency because I am just too cute. But no. So I walked on and looped around as I usually would and then before I got to her I put Skylar on the leash so she wouldn’t be around the camera you know. And at this point the woman was just over a small bridge and I was facing away from her and she said ‘I’ll just be a few more minutes’. Being the weird person I am I said ‘OK’, like in a loud voice. There was no way she didn’t hear it. Then I look up and there is another woman with her. SHE WASN’T TALKING TO ME. I panicked so bad, whipped out my phone and started acting like I was talking to someone else. And you better believe I did not cross that bridge. No, I went in the complete opposite direction. I kid you not, I had to go down a muddy hill, into the river, and back up a muddy hill just to get onto the path I needed to. I was literally about to cry. She must of been like, ‘what the hell is that girl doing, what an actual creep’. I guess the moral of the story is to never talk to strangers. Nothing good will ever come of it.
Wow, I feel so embarrassed to publish this now but I hope this helped to cure your embarrassment. If not, trust me, I have had a lot more embarrassing stories so please feel free to ask for more. But we all go through something embarrassing at some point in our lives, so don’t let it ruin your day, PERIODT.
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