I’m OK With Following The Crowd Right Now

I don’t know if this is the social anxiety coming out of me right now but like for real I just let others decide who I am for real. Like it’s not that I’m fake, I’m just moldable? That sounds weird as fuck but like I will change my personality to suit the person I’m with. Tbh I think we all do that a little, but then people are always on social media like “be yourself” and “don’t follow the crowd” but honestly I’m kinda thinking that if there’s a crowd it must be something good.

I’m no motivational speaker, I mean I literally don’t have an ounce of motivation in me *manic smile* but like I don’t get if I’m basic. It’s just so much easier because life is stressful enough having to figure out literally every fucking thing about the entire universe… or at least that’s how in feel. I was also kinda destined to be a basic bitch because I’m blonde so it have no other choice really. Literally if you were to get the essence of what basic is, it would be me. A blonde bitch who likes Starbucks iced lattes. I’m not even ashamed about the Starbucks though. It is popular for a reason.

Basic clothes are kinda fun though… or maybe not fun but like easy. I can put on a fucking hoodie and leggings and call it a day. And it’s also comfy as hell. Sure I care about how people look at me and I do think that they think I’m such a boring and ugly bitch, but if I were to wear something a bit “different” those thoughts would be even worse.

Advertisements

Do you know what? I’m a saver. If there is a fear of spending money, it’s me for real. I don’t know what it is, but it works because basic clothes are usually less expensive than trendy ones. Call me weird or… cheap, but things look better when they’re an absolute bargain. You know imma go around to everyone saying “Guess how much my socks cost?!” Or some shit like that. Don’t get me wrong if someone were to gift me a fancy wee top or something nice, I wouldn’t turn it away. Call me bloody bargain hunter, I don’t care because imma be the one who just saved 25% on a top 😏

I think the point I was wanting to get at here is that I think people have too much pressure to be someone different and to find who they are as quick as possible so they can stand out and while I think that’s all good and you definitely should be yourself, I don’t think there should be such an urgency. I always hear people my age being like “I barely know who I am!” Not in a mentally ill, kinda ‘I should find you help’ kinda way but like they don’t know what to do in the future and they feel like they should but bitch take a breathe and realize that we’ve got fucking time. For real though. Maybe you didn’t choose the right uni course for what you want to do or maybe you are near retirement and your like “I wish I did this instead” then you can still go and do it.

Advertisements

Sometimes it’s easier to go with the flow and let people decide some things for you. I know at the moment I prefer not to stand out too much and kinda see where things take me because I have no clue what else to do. How am I supposed to navigate my way through life without any guidance from others. I kinda just hope that eventually the flow will go through something that I find interesting or more like me. I never thought being myself would be so difficult and life is difficult enough already so imma be basic for a second and you can do whatever it is you want.

Think of it as being neutral. I’m not going into anything with a set opinion or expectation, so I’ll just see what I come out with. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

Advertisements

Advertisements
Advertisements
One-Time
Monthly
Yearly

Make a one-time donation

Make a monthly donation

Make a yearly donation

Choose an amount

£3.00
£9.00
£60.00
£3.00
£9.00
£60.00
£3.00
£9.00
£60.00

Or enter a custom amount

£

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

DonateDonate monthlyDonate yearly
Advertisements

Let’s Discuss It | Pronouns

Let’s Discuss It | Pronouns

Can people please just get over it and wise up because it just isn’t that hard bitch. Firstly I’d like to say that my pronouns are she/her and I’m straight so I can’t really speak of experience but I want to talk from the perspective of just an accepting human being which is literally the bare minimum but still so many people can’t understand the concept of accepting everyone as a human being.

Advertisements

In the past few years, this has become a more talked about topic and that is amazing because you get to see the lives of so many people and how we are all so different yet so similar at the same time. It’s amazing to see but at the same time, you have to deal with all the fucking idiots on this planet. I don’t know how you all do it because for me I literally start throwing hands at one snarky comment so how do you even cope? It would do my head in especially because they have no point yet thinking they are right. How do you actually reason with idiots? That is some willpower I must admit.

Advertisements

The first big thing I wanted to talk about in this post is for all those people out there who are now making public the pronouns that you feel comfortable with. On behalf of all the people in the world, I apologize. Some of these people are fucking idiots and I don’t know where they came from but we are working on it I swear. They have absolutely no right to think they are better than you or know better than you because they really don’t. Who are they to think they know how you feel or should feel? They can barely tell the difference between a gun and a taser so why do they think they are geniuses?

Advertisements

I really respect you all because it must be such a hard thing to feel as though if you are truly yourself you will be shunned or hated. Like it shouldn’t be like that for anyone and I hope you have people in your life who do love you for you and don’t look at you differently just because of how you feel. And although I can’t relate to everything you go through, I just want you to know that you aren’t a bad person or wrong for feeling the way you do because that’s just life. You deserve to be happy and be yourself and if people don’t like that then they can fuck right off. You do you and the people that follow will be amazing and love you for you.

Advertisements

Secondly, I just have one question? Why the fuck do people have such a problem with it? Make it make sense because last time I checked it doesn’t fucking matter. Correct me if I’m wrong but pronouns don’t affect me in the slightest. Maybe I will just refer to them in a different way because, duh, they have pronouns, but apart from that (which literally isn’t hard anyway) I don’t know why you idiots gotta make such a fuss about it. Honestly, the only reason it affects your life is because you are causing such a fuss. You didn’t need to do fucking hate protests and shit. It’s true though because someone will tell you what their pronouns are and absolutely nothing fucking changes but then you gotta go and make a big deal out of it and then complain that it is affecting your life when all of this was caused by you anyway. Someone, please take a scan of their brain please because there is something going wrong in there.

Advertisements

Also, did anyone notice something from this post? When I was referencing a singular person, I could say they/them and it was still accurate 😮 WOW what a revelation! Who would have known that it is still grammatically correct and just valid in general to say they/them even when you reference one person. And listen, if you are going down to the comments to say “well I did realise because it is 100% wrong” I will personally fling you out of the planet. No joke. I will Mrs Trunchbull the shit out of you and throw you into the vacuum like your a spider on my wall. Just try me, bitch.

Advertisements

Lastly, this one is in regards to all the people I am planning to throw away and I know that you will have read to this point because I’m sure you are scrolling down to the comment section or to report me (honestly go right ahead because I’d love to knock some sense into you all, but also who the fuck gave you the right to go on my blog? Leave). If you aren’t one of these people, then thank you very much and while it is the bare minimum to accept and respect others, that is still amazing and we all are grateful for you! Now that the idiots are left, let me tell you something. Mind your own fucking business. Words can’t describe the disappointment I have in you and while you don’t know me, I sure as hell hope you know that everyone else around you that has a mind will feel the same way so fix whatever issues you have with yourself and do better.

Advertisements

You can still change and not everyone will forgive you but at least you then know that you are a better person. If you care about the “way it should be” you have some real issues and that is no excuse to take it out on others. Leave them alone because they are trying to live their best life and you are fucking that up. There is no argument you could make to say that there is a set way to live your life so shut your fucking mouth and listen to others because I don’t think you’re fit to think for yourself yet. The world doesn’t revolve around you. You are not correct. And if you make fun of someone for how they identify themself then you are one of the most shallow people and you need to change big time.

Advertisements

Oh, and as a quick side note which is also really important to add, THE BIBLE IS NO EXCUSE TO BE HOMOPHOBIC OR UNNACCEPTING OF ANYONE IN ANY WAY! If you are homophobic and read the bible, you are still fucking homophobic. If you have issues with the way people are and read the bible, you are still a bad person. So don’t even come at me with the bible verses shit because whether or not it’s real, it is not relevant or correct anymore, so take responsibility for your opinions and be better.

Advertisements

That may or may not have got a bit heated but I hope I got my point across. I haven’t posted in a while because life does be crazy, so maybe that’s why I had a bit of a rant. I’m also fucking exhausted which never helps, but I still stand by everything I just said. If you are someone who gets attacked or judged because of their pronouns, please do comment below and tell me if I said anything wrong or did anything wrong in this post because obviously I don’t know but I want to make everyone feel accepted. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

Advertisements

Advertisements

Advertisements

The Story Of The Phrase That Changed My Life

Let me set the scene for you real quick. It’s 4.30am. You’re at the airport. You’re at the back of a long line for a service that hasn’t even opened yet. An hour ago you were asleep or at least just woken up by your alarm so you kinda feel like you’re in some sort… Continue Reading →

19 Reasons Why | The USA Have To Listen

I know a lot of my posts are usually just for the shits and giggles and I try to make light of situations going on because that’s how I express my thoughts, but there is no way this could ever be flipped into some sort of joke. There is not one thing about this that… Continue Reading →

Have You Amber Heard About This?

It comes as no shock that there is currently a trial between Johnny Depp and Amber Heard. Just to clear things up, Amber Heard is an actor… mostly. But for real I have never seen or heard of her ever before. I’m pretty sure Johnny said she was on Aquaman or something. All you need… Continue Reading →

Advertisements
One-Time
Monthly
Yearly

Make a one-time donation

Make a monthly donation

Make a yearly donation

Choose an amount

£3.00
£9.00
£60.00
£3.00
£9.00
£60.00
£3.00
£9.00
£60.00

Or enter a custom amount

£

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

DonateDonate monthlyDonate yearly
Advertisements

Merry Chrysler!

Merry Chrysler!

Merry Christmas guys! I want to keep this post short and sweet because honestly who the fuck wants to read this on Christmas but if you are then I respect you and you a real one. But anyway lol I know this year has been kinda very shite but it’s nearly over and we made it through so well done! I also hope you all still have a great Christmas even though I know a lot of us haven’t really felt very Christmasy lately which I don’t really know why and is kind of a shame but like oh well. Hopefully, we’ll fit the vibe check on the day.

Advertisements

I’m not gonna say all the “it’s about giving not receiving” but like enjoying getting the gifts you deserve and earned. Don’t feel bad because you should be treated like royalty. Obviously, we all need to stay humble and be so grateful for what we get in life but know that as long as you react in the right way and focus on what is important, you can have nice things.

Advertisements

I also predict that a lot of you will be reading this at the end of the night when you have your annual Christmas cry and I want you to know that it’s ok and you aren’t a weirdo. Christmas most likely went perfectly and for whatever reason, you are crying for at the moment, it will pass and everyone is ok. Usually, for me, it’s kinda like your emotions catch up with you because you are just non-stop all day, or you have hyped it up so much in your head that you are sad that it’s gone and you have to go back to normal life. There is also the fact that you feel as though you may not have been perky all night and you kind of overthink about what you did or said. I have found we all get this crying surge at the end of Christmas and you are just standing there like “ok what the actual fuck is wrong with me? Why am I crying on Christmas?” But honestly, it’s normal and you’ll get through it eventually.

Advertisements

So I suppose I won’t keep you for much longer, but I hope you have an amazing day doing whatever it is you do on Christmas. Hopefully, it is all pretty much back to normal for you all and you get to enjoy something semi-normal this year. Let yourself enjoy this day and go out and have fun. Also here is a quick reminder for people who get really stressed out about presents and feeling bad because you don’t think you spent as much on them or gave as much as them, just know that they appreciate you so much and anything that shows you thought of them for even 1 second is probably so thrilled no matter what you give them. Don’t be so hard on yourself and I’m expecting to hear how your day went. I hope you have a great Christmas, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

Advertisements

Advertisements

Advertisements

My Life Is an Unsuccessful Netflix Show

I don’t know what to call this feeling, but you know when you get a sudden realisation that this is in fact real life. Like you aren’t gonna start into a new season or a new episode of a show. You are just gonna start the next day with the same problems, the same things… Continue Reading →

I’m OK With Following The Crowd Right Now

I don’t know if this is the social anxiety coming out of me right now but like for real I just let others decide who I am for real. Like it’s not that I’m fake, I’m just moldable? That sounds weird as fuck but like I will change my personality to suit the person I’m… Continue Reading →

Advertisements
One-Time
Monthly
Yearly

Make a one-time donation

Make a monthly donation

Make a yearly donation

Choose an amount

£3.00
£9.00
£60.00
£3.00
£9.00
£60.00
£3.00
£9.00
£60.00

Or enter a custom amount

£

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

DonateDonate monthlyDonate yearly
Advertisements

Which Sense of Humour Do You Have?

Advertisements

I think that to start this post we need to figure out what the word “humour” really means. I’m no Oxford dictionary but in my opinion, it is the things we find funny and that we enjoy making/hearing jokes about. Nothing fancy just a basic bitch definition. I guess now that is out of the way, we can start to get into it. I will also mention some of the ones that I would fit myself into which I suppose is multiple but we can all relate at some points. Don’t forget to tell us in the comment section what sense of humour you have.

Advertisements

Dark Humour

We are all familiar with what dark humour is, but for all the idio- people out there I will explain. It’s basically when you find things that are supposed to be serious, and are quite morbid, to be funny. It can also be quite smart and well thought through despite the fact it was off the cuff and that makes it a bit worrying because you may find it funny but you also like “oh shit is this person ok” or “oh shit is this person going to kill me”. But at that point, it is a judgement call and in my experience, it’s just a coping mechanism.

I will now give you all a few examples which I actually am scared might offend someone in some way. Not as in they are gonna be offensive but like I don’t want people to be like “that was really disrespectful” or some shit. But THAT IS DARK HUMOUR and you better get over yourself bitch!

Advertisements
  • Where did sally go when the bomb went off?
    everywhere.
  • This is just a general statement, but like if someone were to hurt themselves then someone with a dark sense of humour would laugh. Like it do be funny though. Kids be falling and tripping for no god damn reason
  • This example isn’t a phrase either but it’s from a video and literally makes me piss myself because it’s so funny but there is this video of this blind girl who is talking with this news presenter and they are talking about everything the girl has achieved in her life and the presenter goes “is there anything you can’t do” just because she is so amazing and the girl dead ass says “see”
Advertisements

Sarcastic Humour

This humour is my cuppa tea but it’s also a wee bit risky if I say so myself. Like you gotta be careful who you say this too. It can sometimes come with a little bit of truth and may actually expose yourself a wee bit too but the added risk is fun I suppose. But what is it? It’s basically just saying something but not really meaning it. I guess you know what sarcasm is and it’s basically that but making it. It’s an art form, to be honest (that was kind of an example of sarcasm but like it’s also hard to get across in text so it takes a bit of expression and tone as well. Don’t ask me why I am developing this shit so much). This is my go-to when it comes to joking with friends and to be honest it makes up my whole personality trait to the point that it isn’t humour anymore, it’s just down-right sad.

Advertisements

Yeah but enough of that I suppose. Let’s get into a few wee examples. To be honest, they make up the majority of my posts because I just find everything a joke, for example, my life, and this can also slot into another sense of humour that I mention later. These are also kinda one-liners and a bit situational so like you kinda had to be there so like if you don’t find them funny please don’t attack me because I will in fact cry 🙂

two spidermen pointing meme
Advertisements
  • Friend “can you help me with something”
    Me “no…”
    *stare at each other awkwardly like the 2 spidermen guys*
  • Me “do you know what I literally so much?”
    Friend “what?”
    Me “you”
    *stare at each other awkwardly like the 2 spidermen guys* again

I’m so fucking lucky my friends get my humour or else I’d literally have nobody in my life right now lol. Like I sound like such a bitch but I swear it is all in good taste

Advertisements

Actual Humour

To be fair, what is actual humour? Like I guess it’s the classics like knock-knock jokes (despite the fact they’re shite) but like people might not find that humour. Well, I actually don’t really give a fuck and don’t want to talk about that so let’s get into it. This is the basic bitch, default setup, awkward laugh combo platter and if this is your main sense of humour you are either lying or a granny who has been desensitised by the crap jokes they put on the kids shows you are basically forced to watch all day.

Advertisements

So I guess I’ll give a few but you already know what they are gonna be basically. You don’t have to be a genius to know these and it takes literally one brain cell to understand
– knock knock
who’s there?
Interrupting cow
Interrupting cow wh-
MOOOOOOOO
– Knock knock
Who’s there?
Boo
Boo who?
Well, there is no need to cry about it!

It’s literally so obnoxious ad stupid. It’s literally so unfunny and painful to listen to that you have nothing else to do by laughing. It is just pain

Advertisements

Self-Depricating Humour

Watch out for these people because behind every self-deprecating joke is some truth. Like you can laugh but also keep an eye out for them lol. I do admit this is another go-to for me and is always easy to do when you hate yourself 😮 (Pulled a wee sneaky one on you). Sadly enough though a lot of people find it funny and use it often. Like we all laugh at something and make the same joke but then all just look around awkwardly like “we really are fucked up aren’t we”. It’s a bonding experience though, also a coping mechanism, but bonding nonetheless. It’s so simple too like it’s sad that we can literally make anything into a self-deprecating joke.

Advertisements

So now for examples, but I feel like I should also address those bitches who use it for attention. Like they will just out of the blue be like “uh I’m so ugly today lol” and then act sad until someone says “awk no you’re beautiful”. NO! I literally hate that and there is a pretty fucking obvious difference so don’t even try to get yourself out of it if you do that sometimes.

Advertisements
  • *in some random video an ogre walks down the street (not Shrek though, obviously he’s a babe)*
    Me “ok but who took that video of me?”
  • This next example is literally me the other day and I’m kinda mad about the actual situation but it was a pretty good self-deprecating joke:
    *me literally gets hit in the head by a bottle the idiots in our school are throwing*
    Me – what the actual fuck! Concussed question mark? (yes I say question mark)
    * me also goes on to tell people about how I’ve literally had so many head injuries in my lifetime*
    Me – maybe that’s why I’ve got a big ass forehead?!
  • Me – *does one thing wrong*
    also me – I literally hate myself so much

Sometimes you just gotta take one for the team, ya know? Sacrifice your life for Pakistan GRAPE!

Advertisements

Teacher Humour

This is an exclusive package that you actually get when you become a teacher. Like that bitch is limited edition and we all gotta respect that as soon as we go into their classroom. Surely they are aware that they can’t make a joke like I can’t make sense of their class. Surely they know that we aren’t over here pissing ourselves and barely being able to breathe because their joke was funny. We just tryna get outta doing work/don’t want to get shouted at. Like I barely heard what you said but if I see the slightest smirk on your face I’m gonna laugh like you just turned into fucking Kevin Hart. You better know I’ll be rolling on the floor.

teacher jokes smh : dankmemes

But seriously though, teachers laugh at everything and joke about everything so we out here getting abs with all the fake laughing we gotta do. Just look at some of these examples:

Advertisements
  • In my chemistry class my teacher was telling us how to remember the difference between Cations and anions and to be fair they were pretty helpful tips but she thought she was absolutely hilarious. She was like “cations has cat in it and cats are paw-sitive lol, and then anions are like onions and they make you cry, so they are negative” and we just looking at her like ha yeah.
  • Just any time they mention anything about how they would leave their job if not for something else. Like you are literally kind of a bit hurt because they be like “I wish I could just run away and live on a beach where I would never have to work here again haha” or “I would love to do *some other job* but I guess i’m just here lol”. Like damn what the fuck. So we just gotta laugh here to bring the mood back up. Like god damn just teach us some maths so we can get the fuck out of here.

They always gotta do the demonic laugh as well where they like chuckle but like you can see in their eyes that they are crying out for help and literally hate everything. They have good intentions though and for me, it’s usually just a pity laugh.

Advertisements

Anti-Joke Humour

This is quite similar to sarcastic humour but, if you are an expert like me, you will know the difference. Basically, the difference is that sarcastic humour is kinda more chillaxed and off the cuff, but with anti-joke humour, it’s probably more planned out and thought about. It might have a bit of a delayed laugh as well because obviously, you are expecting a joke but then it’s pretty much just a fact. Oh and yeah that reminds me, an anti-joke is basically setting something up as you would a joke and then the punchline is just matter-of-fact. I’ll give examples obviously but that’s what it is. And if I’m gonna be honest with you, the people who have this as the humour they come up with a lot are probably going through some shit. Like I find it funny and a lot of others do but can never really come up with one and say it in the right way unless I’m in one of my “low patches”. No attack on anyone by the way. I suppose another form of anti-joke is just one that wasn’t intended to be funny but then the way you said it or the way you timed it was just perfect and I respect that tbh.

I’m gonna go into examples now obviously, I mean why do I find the need to say that every fucking time I’m pretty sure that you have got that already. But yeah the first one that I am gonna say is something kinda shocking and I only found out about it a few days ago and it kinda fucked my mind a wee bit.

Advertisements
  • Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.
  • What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot? Half a cat
  • What’s white and can’t climb a tree? A fridge

Like they are so fucking stupid and like so fucking random but I don’t know why that literally cracks me up. I think it’s just so funny because it literally isn’t funny whatsoever and you kinda just end up looking at the other person in the eyes as you both question how your life led up to this one moment.

Advertisements

“Too Far” Humour

This humour actually bugs me and I feel as though it can also be called “that one popular kid who sits in the back of the class and try to make everyone laugh but really he is a dick and people are just scared of him/want to impress him” humour but that’s a wee bit too long. What I find hilarious about it though is whenever you grow up and so does everyone else but they are the same idiot they were 4 years ago so now when they make a joke literally nobody gives a shit and just looks at them in disgust and you feel embarrassed for them. There is a group of people in my school like that and I just don’t think they’ve got rid of that god-complex yet and they haven’t accepted the fact that literally, nobody likes them lol. But back to talking about the “too far” humour. This is basically where they make jokes about things that aren’t meant to be joked about. Not like dark humour where it is still innocent and doesn’t hurt anyone, but when they joke about stuff that is literally offensive and disrespectful.

Advertisements
  • Me – *plays football/breathes*
    idiot man – ShOuLdN’t YoU bE iN tHe KiTcHeN?! ahahahah Go MaKe Me A sAnDwIcH
    (this applies to literally any ‘joke’ like that)
  • Just joking around with your friends and then they go too far and talk about something actually personal to you and is a sensitive topic. Like I have heard guys in the back of our class talking and then they would be like “well at least I know my dad” or sometimes they would be straight up racist. Like maybe that’s a ‘guy thing’ but still that sounds fucked up.

These are the kinda jokes that make other generations think we are snowflakes but literally we are just respectful and more of an understanding person. Like they say it isn’t that deep but it kinda is. Just because it might not have offended anyone in this room, doesn’t mean it isn’t offensive.

Advertisements

Gas-Lighting Humour

I actually had one of my friends tell me a story the other day about how she was literally gas-lighted by her parents, but like in a funny innocent way, and it really just cracked me up tbh. Obviously, in some cases, it isn’t funny but just whenever someone is so gullible that they fall for shit so easily makes me actually die. I’m quite a gullible bitch myself and I have another friend who is as well and the fact it is so easy to trick them is just priceless. They never learn and you kinda make fun of them after which is the gas-lighting part but ah well lol. Do I feel like a shitty person afterwards? Yup. Do I do it to everyone? Fuck no. Do I use too many rhetorical questions? Hell yeah.

Before I give these examples I just want to say that they may sound like the dumbest shite ever but it was just an “at the moment” type thing so don’t even be judging me.

Advertisements
  • So the story with my friend and her parents was that she was asking to go to a party and they were like “fine but you will have to take a breathalizer when you get home”. They had like police friends and all that shit so he had easy access. So she was like “fine” and then went to the party. She was proper raging and to be fair she did still drink and was willing to face the consequences when they came. So she got back home and her parents were like “right then, how much did you drink” and she was like “I only had 2 cups” and they were like “ok, bye”. She was proper fuming like what the hell was happening. They just let her go yet she was freaking out about it for ages and trying to figure out how to trick the system or some shit and tgen they just started laughing at her because they couldn’t believe she actually believed it. Like her whole family were pissing themselves because she thought she was actually about to be breathalized. Kinda funny I must admit
Advertisements
  • This next story is one where I was the person being laughed at and my sister literally brings it up every fucking second of the day even 6 years after it happened. So we had juts got a puppy (a miniature schnauzer to be exact) and we loved that hoe. We were already wanting to get another and my mum who had not even liked dogs that much (what a fucking weirdo) actually loved our dog. So then one day when I was going home from some sort of club type thing, my older sister was really excited and she was like “we got another puppy!” and I was like “actually fuck off do you really expect me to believe that” and she kept going on about the fact it was the truth. That bitch deserved an oscar because I started to believe her. I knew in the back of my head that it was obviously a lie but I wanted it to be true so bad that I believed it. Then we got home and was like I’m catch this hoe red handed. There is definitely no fucking dog in this house. Then she ran outside to our dog’s bit of the garden and then came back with this minature schnauzer in her hands and it was really small so I went up to see it. Tell me why this bitch was holding a fucking statue? I really started to pet a fucking piece of clay. She really did me dirty there.
Advertisements

Intricate Humour

I can never really get this type of humour down but I find it really funny whenever it fails and works. Intricate humour is when someone makes a joke and it is kind of factual, or it just has so many layers to it. Like your friend might be building it up like a fucking house and then they drop the wrecking ball and, if timed right, it is hilarious. Sometimes you kinda zone out and wake up once they are laughing at their own joke, but if you manage to listen, it is usually actually good. Another type of intricate joke is one that takes you a second to think about, but like not to the point where it is just dumb and you do a pity laugh. I never really have the brains or the effort to do that shit but sometimes it comes easy to you and you can’t miss that opportunity. There might have been something you and your friend heard or witnessed one week and then one or two weeks later you bring that into the joke it just makes it fucking hilarious.

It always makes me do that silent laugh aka my favourite type of laugh. I swear there have been times where I have been silent laughing for so long that I actually got really scared because I physically could not breathe.

Advertisements
  • There was this one that I remember so vividly from my first year in high school and I was in my geography class. I sat at the back next to this guy and his friend sat in front of me so they would always be talking about the most random shit. I would usually zone out but there was a faze where they just insulsted each other in the weirdest ways. I am pretty sure they actually didn’t like each other lol. Anyways, one of the insults I heard was one of the most stupid and most unfunny thing ever but literally cracks me up. He says “I hope you turn into a fish and swim backwards” and as if that wasn’t bad enough, he goes on to explain why that’s a bad thing. Btw it’s because the water will go into their gills and like kil them or some shit like that. I just remember how I was so disappointed in that joke and everything about it that I found it hilarious.

Tbh I don’t really have any other examples because they are usually more inside jokes and like you had to be in a certain situation to get them and actually find them funny, but if you guys have any examples please do comment them down below.

Advertisements

Insomniac Humour

We can’t deny that we all have this type of humour. I suppose it kinda fits under all of these other types of humour, but to be more specific it is the jokes you make that flop really bad or you instantly regret and for the rest of your life you will be reminded of it every single time you try to sleep. I suppose it also includes stuff that you just find embarrassing but people still make fun of you for. Some may call that bullying but just don’t be like that lol. That shit stings though and literally catches you so off guard that it really isn’t necessary. It is literally painful and to be fair my whole life is one big insomniac joke. Like I just replay that shit in my head from the day I was birthed to that very moment. Like it really just is not necessary and I know that nobody remembers that it happened but I know that it did and it was not ok.

And just as soon as you either forget about it or convince yourself that nobody even remembers it somebody gotta ruin the mood and bring it up again so you are never able to get over that trauma. But now to bring it up again myself… I’m gonna have to talk to my therapist about this aren’t I?

Advertisements
  • I hopped that this information would get locked up somewhere for the rest of my life, but since none of you really know who I am I guess I’ll just relate it to, oh I don’t know, THE WHOLE FUCKING INTERNET. So anyways, I used to go to ballet. Yup, I was a little ballet bitch. But that didn’t work out for me andy you will find out why. I was quite young when this happened. Maybe 5 or 6? But me and the rest of the class had just been misbehaving or like wasting too much time so our teacher was getting pissed off. The thing was I desperatily needed the toilet, but seeing her anger and being the anxious little girl I was, I just stayed quiet. I was like nope, not today bitch. So I just held it. That was, of course, until I couldn’t. Yep, you guessed it, I pissed myself in front of my whole entire class and I actually hate myself. And then my teacher was like “why didn’t you just ask to go”. Girl, you know why! Now clean up my piss. My twin still bullies me to this day.
Advertisements
  • My first year of high school I was ready to be a whole new person. I was ready to be everyones friend and just the best person ever. So any opportunity I found to get out there I would take. Well there was only one time and I never tried again, but you’ll understand why. So I tried to run for the class president (1st downfall) or whatever the fuck it’s called and that meant I had to go up to the front of the class and tell everyone why they should vote for me. I had a whole plan in my head, no script or prep at all, but I had a goal. So I went up to the front of the class thinking I was gonna be the class clown and everyone would want to be my friend. Mind blank. Complete fucking mind blank. But I remembered one thing after blabbering about the dumbest shit ever and it was something that I thought was really good. Then I say it. Deadass it was the dumbest shit that has ever come out of my mouth. I hate myself so much for it and I swear that was the source of my social anxiety. From that moment onwards I would no longer communicate with anyone outside of my small bubble (aka my family). It is obvious to say I didn’t not get class president.
Advertisements

Inuendo Humour

For those that doesn’t know, inuendo is basically when one thing sounds or means the same thing as another thing, but like somebody intends the play on words for comedic use. I always find this hilarious especially whenever it wasn’t intended and when the person who said it doesn’t even realise that makes it even more hilarious. I have one friend who is either too mature or we are just immature so she tends to say a lot of things that sound like something else. Usually quite inappropriate stuff but it is so funny because it’s just unexpected and you can tell they didn’t mean it to sound like it did. It’s also the look on the persons face whenever they have possessed it in their head and the look of disappointment is just so funny. To be fair I have never really heard of a person whose go to jokes were inuendos unless it’s some sort of creepy old guy wth a beer belly. Sorry if that is your sense of humour but that’s just been my experience. I also feel like if it was intended then it isn’t funny because they just try too hard but that’s honestly true with all jokes kind of

I’m gonna try and give a few examples but at the moment I can only think of inappropriate ones and Im not sure what type of demographic I’m working with here but to be fair if they are still reading y this point it is a wee bit late. I think I’ll just try to find ones that are more of just a pun

Advertisements
36 Punny Memes Full Of Innuendo in 2021 | Bad jokes, Funny ...
36 Punny Memes Full Of Innuendo | Really funny memes ...
Advertisements

Dad Jokes

I had to break the rhythm of the titles because I just couldn’t bring myself to call it dad humour. I guess I could have called it desperate humour but I’ll not be rude. Honestly though is there much I can say about this? It’s just a classic bad joke with like the worst timing. To be honest there is never a good time for a dad joke. They just make me laugh so much because it’s clever but also so unnecessary. It’s seeing your dads face afterwards as well because they are so proud of themselves and you feel bad for not laughing so you just laugh disappointedly. I have to admit though that whenever I come up with one myself I am really proud of myself. Like I don’t know why it’s just so rewarding cause it isn’t always easy. It’s really just an at the moment type situation.

Advertisements
  • Some people have trouble sleeping… but I can do it with my eyes closed
  • Yesterday I was washing the car with my son. He said “dad can’t you just use a sponge?”
  • Did you know Bruce lee has a faster older brother? Sudden Lee
Advertisements

Advertisements
Kitchen or war the womens crossword animated modern sleek blog cover photo

Kitchen or War | The Women’s Crossroad

Please let me tell you that I am in fact a girl! I am not some man that is about to start slabbering about how women are supposed to make everyone a fucking sandwich and look after their kids while the man is at war. I also want to say that this is light-hearted and… Continue Reading →

a roaring 20's themed war 2020 memorial image with memories and news of recent

The Raging 20’s, Is It an Inevitable Disaster?

I’m sorry, but between my last post and this one, we have literally gone through a war. That’s not even a joke sadly enough. Corona is kinda fading away (except the Queen has joined the Corona Club) but then we gotta keep the drama alive so we start into world war 3! Sounds like a… Continue Reading →

Is Texting A Ticking Time Bomb?

From the perspective of a 16-year-old girl, I would have to say yes, texts are a ticking time bomb. Call me old fashioned, but honestly, I don’t trust that shit. They are so unpredictable. Now I could lie to you and say that is the reason I don’t text people much, but the plain truth… Continue Reading →

Advertisements
One-Time
Monthly
Yearly

Make a one-time donation

Make a monthly donation

Make a yearly donation

Choose an amount

£3.00
£9.00
£60.00
£3.00
£9.00
£60.00
£3.00
£9.00
£60.00

Or enter a custom amount

£

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

DonateDonate monthlyDonate yearly
Advertisements

Your Parents Were 99.9% Right

I know this isn’t something you like to hear but it is true, your parents were 99.9% right. Not about everything, definitely not, but they were about this one thing that they told you when you were literally a foetus sized human being. And what is that? Well, do you remember when they would say “you can be whatever you want when you grow up”? That is what they are 99.9% right about. You can literally be whatever the fuck you want in this world and I can prove it to you. I didn’t intend this post to be so motivating but if it helps you in any way then I am happy.

Advertisements

Why are they so right when they say we can be whatever we want to be when we are older? Did they secretly become psychic or just got lucky? Well, I can’t speak for all families I guess, but in my family, they were making an educated guess. Obviously, they couldn’t predict what I would be but they knew that if I tried hard enough then, with their support, I could be anything. But the motivation and family aspects aren’t really what I am here to talk about today. Not all families have a great support system and are willing and able to give their kids the life they deserve. I’m talking literally and I’m talking facts bitch.

Advertisements

You can quite literally be whatever the fuck you wanna be. You can become famous for literally anything. Don’t believe me? You can join all the bloody “great British…” shit and earn a living if you win or just take part in any way. I’m sure there are equivalents depending on where you live but if we use this one alone the possibilities are endless. There is the Great British Bake Off, the Great British Sewing Bee, the Great British Gardening Show (I don’t know the exact name of that one but you get my point). All 3 of the shows I just listed are so fucking random and different from each other and there are probably other shows for everything in between. Cooking, surviving on a desert island, being sexy beside a pool, watching TV. All of the things that I just listed actually make people rich and famous. Maybe that isn’t the goal you intended but you can still make a bloody living from that shit.

Advertisements

Maybe being on TV isn’t your thing. Maybe becoming famous isn’t your goal. That doesn’t even matter because we as humans are so bloody lazy and we are willing to pay others to do the things we can’t be arsed to do or learn how to do. You can wash people’s windows, wait in a line for them, be a bodyguard, deliver people’s food or drive them places. I mean that is only like 0.00001% of things out there that you can do and when you really think about what the aim of each job is, it sounds bloody ridiculous. Let’s say a photographer. Obviously, this job, and many other’s, require a lot of skill and practice, but essentially it is just taking photos of you which you could probably do yourself with a little time and money. Like you literally pay people to do something that you would do every day. Now I know that seems like I am discrediting the work that photographers put in but I didn’t really know how to put it. It’s just to show you how something as simple as taking photos can literally make you a living and give you the ability to meet great people and visit amazing places. As long as you put in the hard work and become great at what you love, you can make that your whole career.

Advertisements

Do you like drawing? Career. Do you like tennis? Career. Do you like walking? Career. Do you like arguing? You guessed it, career. As long as you fucking believe in yourself and are willing to become the best at what you do, no matter how long that may take, then you can make that your career and you can live off what you love the most. Don’t listen to what other people have to say because they just haven’t figured it out yet. People will pay for any shit, whether it is you doing something for them, you teaching them how to do it, or just watching you do what you do best. So stop feeling fucking embarrassed or set on a bloody 9-5 job and get to work.

But what is the last 0.1%? Why aren’t our parents 100% right? Well, because you can’t become the fucking Hulk.

Advertisements

Now that I have completely ruined the vibes, it is time for me to sign off. Oh and I am sticking to my promise of posting more, but I was just in Edinburgh for a few days for the lols. But yeah that was irrelevant. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

Advertisements

Advertisements

Advertisements
the power of apps technology blue and purple blue personal blog featured image

The power of apps

This could possibly be my most dumb fucking post because I know I’m about to sound like I’m some sort of old bitch who just discovered the internet, but honestly, I just think of a lot of random crap and I like to share it, whether you like it or not. I mean, if you… Continue Reading →

do you know what's weird plants are living periodt blogs featured image natural wildlife and plants graphics

Do You Know What’s Weird? | Plants are alive

Now please don’t think I’m some sort of alien conspiracy bitch, like I understand that plants are a living thing because I went to school (not in the USA) and did biology (again, not in the USA) so I would say I know a thing or two. I also think about things too much which… Continue Reading →

Why Does Nobody Appreciate A Bargain?

POV: it’s Saturday. You are with a friend on the train and because we are so spontaneous we say “hey, why don’t we go to Botanic instead?”. You feel crazy because you are now getting off one stop later, what a rush. You go around and live the quirky life you desired as you shop… Continue Reading →

Advertisements
One-Time
Monthly
Yearly

Make a one-time donation

Make a monthly donation

Make a yearly donation

Choose an amount

£3.00
£9.00
£60.00
£3.00
£9.00
£60.00
£3.00
£9.00
£60.00

Or enter a custom amount

£

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

DonateDonate monthlyDonate yearly
Advertisements

I’m not above a fight

See, I don’t really like it when people are cheeky to me. I mean you can be upfront and shout at me and I’ll be fine with that. My sisters have conditioned me to that. But if you are being passive aggressive or cheeky in front of me or behind my back, I won’t hesitate to fight.

No this isn’t coming out of the blue guys, but something I did yesterday kinda got my blood boiling if you get me. Anyways, here I was at my friend’s house for moral support because I was about to call my work and be like “hey girl so for medical and educational reasons I’m not gonna be able to work more than 8 hours a week but obviously I can work more on holidays thanks”, and here my manager does the longest sigh ever, literally I could almost smell her stinking breathe it was that loud, and I was like shit what is about to happen. Then this bitch really stops the sigh and goes “that’s not really helpful for us”

😮 Did I ask?! No I think the fuck I didn’t so why the hell did you have to say that. Would you prefer I didn’t work any hours? Do you want me to quit because I’ll be more than happy to get out of this bitch. Like I actually don’t even like work. When I tell you I was shocked, I mean I was back-from-war-tazer-in-the-back shocked. I still am at the moment tbh.

But anyways, after that, I paused because I was in denial at that stage or something and then I was just like “Ummm well… It’s for medical reasons as well” because my doctor told me to say that so she legally couldn’t fire me for it (I also wouldn’t care if she did because then id use and never have to work again, I’m not too proud to miss that opportunity bitch) and here she was acting all nice again, miss cheeky bitch tryna get on my good side again. Like I actually have to go to work with her today and if she comes up to me and starts talking shit, I will happily throw hands. I mean I’m terrified of her too, let’s not get ahead of ourselves, but she barely knows me and doesn’t know how hard I can hit. BTW this is a joke don’t be calling the police

Anyways yeah that happened and it really made me realise how much I HATE, despise, loath, work. Do I get paid minimum wages to only get a 20 min break during illegal hours?! I think the fuck not. Like I have enough money saved to get my ass out of that hoe and I only stay cause I want my parents to be proud of me lol. But you have to admit what she said was petty uncalled for. Like it was not necessary. I actually despise the working world and it sucks the little bit of life and dignity inside of me.

So what do you guys reckon I should do? Quit or just realise that this is life. Also if anyone is like a law person, is there any way I could use for doing illegal hours with only a 20 minute break. I mean that would be ideal lol. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

Advertisements

Advertisements
the most common US misconceptions about the uk graphics cartoon animated blog feature image cover blue and red

The Most Common US Misconceptions About The UK

This post is gonna come off as fucking cheeky and kind of playing with American stereotypes, but I want to make it clear to you now that I 100% mean it. So, sorry I guess but it has to be done. To be fair though, when was there ever a need for you to learn… Continue Reading →

how to describe my blog detective evidence board blog featured image cover

How To Describe My Blog

Sometimes when I am writing a new post I sometimes look at myself in the mirror and wonder what the fuck I’m even talking about. What genre is this? I would say comedy but then again I don’t want to seem cocky and I don’t even know if people understand my humour. I would also… Continue Reading →

I don't get the guinness book of world records colourful large title comedy blog feature picture image

I Don’t Get The Guinness Book Of World Records

Maybe it’s because I have no skills of my own but like I don’t understand the hype of the Guinness book of world records because the only thing it did was make me confused at why the drink my dad loves is making a book? Like… make it make sense. It’s kinda cool I guess… Continue Reading →

Advertisements
One-Time
Monthly
Yearly

Make a one-time donation

Make a monthly donation

Make a yearly donation

Choose an amount

£3.00
£9.00
£60.00
£3.00
£9.00
£60.00
£3.00
£9.00
£60.00

Or enter a custom amount

£

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

DonateDonate monthlyDonate yearly
Advertisements

Something I Realized About Being a Waitress

I’m going to try and keep this post quite small, kind of like the size of the tips people give. Yup, that is what I am talking about today and I would like to preface that this is in the most respectful way possible. I don’t feel this way towards young teen or people struggling financially, but there are a few people who may have caused absolute hell to my day or are obviously well off financially that give fuck all and I need to get it out there to someone.

Advertisements

Now, I haven’t been a waitress for very long and I also don’t work in a fancy restaurant, but I work my ass off and give them the best experience possible. Maybe at the end of my shift I am less chatty but I am polite and efficient. I think it is my first or second week in this job and 2 days ago I had my busiest shift. I mean there were people out the fucking door and they just kept coming. I was stressed with learning so many things and having to communicate and put those lessons into practice almost immediately. Now that may not seem all that difficult but when you are already always stressed and there is so much noise and movement, it is pretty fucking hard. But then at the end of the shift, after serving so many bloody tables and a lot of big tables with 6-8 people, I got less than £4. I may sound like an ungrateful bitch but even I tip when I go out. Like it may not be a lot but it shows that I tried.

Advertisements

And you see, my problem isn’t with teens not tipping because obviously they don’t know any better, and I don’t care if you just buy a small snack for yourself and/or your friend because that isn’t a lot of work for me and it is only a small bill anyways. But I swear to god, if I have to get you one million drinks, go back and forth having to get different salts and sauces or you buy lots of meals and desserts, you should at least have the courtesy of giving the waiters a bit of recognition because new flash, this isn’t what we want to be doing on a Friday night. That isn’t your fault and it is our job, I get that, but I’m paid minimum wage and could easily do the bare minimum but because I value you and want you to have the best experience, I work hard. Also, if you think we are being slow, that is probably because we are handling a handful of tables at a time and trying to prioritize and remember all the shit we have to do next. We haven’t forgotten about you, we want to get you sorted as quickly as possible and for me, someone who is new to the job, may take longer and make a few mistakes.

Advertisements

I have had a few embarrassing times, one just the other day, where I was so exhausted and mentally fucked that I just forgot the table numbers and I had to walk around holding plates of food and having no clue where it was. I would sometimes forget what table it was even for and then have to go back and ask the scary chefs and then I would forget what dishes it even was and have to act like an idiot. It is fucking scary to breathe and look you in the eye especially when you are fucking rude or ignorant. Even if you don’t mean it and you don’t necessarily do anything mean like throw water in their face, make sure you give them a smile and a thank you or just any indication that you appreciate their presence because if we didn’t have waiters, you wouldn’t get any food or it would be 10 times later and with worse service. Maybe you think of us as unskilled or something but we are important for you getting your meals and drinks and everything.

Advertisements

So here is something I feel like I need to say. I don’t feel entitled to a tip. I don’t expect every single person to tip because they may not know that is what you usually do yet. But what I don’t appreciate is when you are rude and dismissive and don’t give a tip, despite the fact we were of great service. If you don’t have anything to give, we don’t judge that, but make sure you look us in the eyes and genuinely show you are grateful. That may just be me and I may sound ignorant as it is my first week but every single waiter out there needs a bit of respect. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

Advertisements

Advertisements

Advertisements
pride flag discussion blog post cartoon featured image about pronouns

Let’s Discuss It | Pronouns

Can people please just get over it and wise up because it just isn’t that hard bitch. Firstly I’d like to say that my pronouns are she/her and I’m straight so I can’t really speak of experience but I want to talk from the perspective of just an accepting human being which is literally the… Continue Reading →

stating the obvious comedy blog post discussion featured image

Let’s Discuss It| Stating The Obvious

I’m not really an angry person if I’m gonna be honest and although this doesn’t really make me that angry, it gets me in that manic laughing phase which is kinda fucking scary. Like you know that point where you just look at someone who just said something to you and you don’t have any… Continue Reading →

jennifer Lawerence is what? shocked text message with punctuation on side for shocking blog post featured image

Jennifer Lawerence Is What?

Talk about a merry fucking Christmas because I just found out something that has blown me away. It has been released before Christmas but I am only getting around to talking about this now because I wanted to spread out the happiness across this December. So without further ado, let’s talk about what the fuck… Continue Reading →

Advertisements
One-Time
Monthly
Yearly

Make a one-time donation

Make a monthly donation

Make a yearly donation

Choose an amount

£3.00
£9.00
£60.00
£3.00
£9.00
£60.00
£3.00
£9.00
£60.00

Or enter a custom amount

£

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

DonateDonate monthlyDonate yearly
Advertisements

The Best Part About Having Great Friends

Now, I ain’t tryna rub this in anyone’s face or nothing but like, I have a small group of really close friends and despite the fact it took me a while to get over myself and make friends, it was totally worth it because we are so close. We have never had fights like everyone else seems to have in school, and we are unproblematic. There is 5 of us, including me, so I suppose you can say we are a smaller group, but I don’t think I could imagine there being anymore. There have been people who have tried to go into our group which leads to awkward situations but it has always just stayed the same for us. Pretty much we just live our life like the people who walk away from an explosion without looking back to see it. We are those bitches and I wouldn’t change a single thing about it. So that does sound like a bit of a flex, but I added that because there is one thing that happens that I absolutely love and that I know other people go through with best friends. So lets talk about it.

Advertisements

So, this thing is when you are with your friends, it is usually getting dark and you are not surrounded by other people, so you’d be in a tent or like outside or in your bedroom in an empty house, and then the conversation changes so quickly. Not as in “I love dogs, except when mine bit of my Nan’s arm”. But like when you are talking about something hilarious and then the next minute you find yourself talking about how we just live on a floating rock in empty space and we don’t even know what is out there. And I have no fucking clue how it gets there but like it isn’t awkward at all. We are all just like calm and talking back and forth and then you say something like “I just can’t even comprehend blah blah blah” and then someone else is like “that’s the same with me” and then you realise you aren’t crazy. Then all of a sudden you have just spilled all of the tea and fully exposed yourself but like you don’t even care. The thing that is extra funny about it is the fact that it is pretty much never mentioned again until the next time that situation happens and even then you usually switch up the topic. Maybe one week it was an existential crisis and the next it would be sharing traumas and then maybe next week we’ll mix it up with a talk about how scary the future is. It kind of is just pot luck at that point.

Advertisements

Do you guys get that with your friends though? I always find it so fun because it is so spontanious and you find that other people understand and it shocks you and nobody is proper going to make a massive deal out of it and treat you differently. It doesn’t really happen with everyone that I am friends with, which is literally not that many lol, but with the closest friends this would be a regular moment. It happened yesterday when me and my friends were like just going to Tesco and then a field and it just hits out of nowhere. And then you usually just catapult back into the most random shit. It really is a mountain of emotions. Like we go from fuck all, to everything, to even less than before.

Advertisements

This kind of a random post, a bit out of the blue you know, but like I have changed into a working woman because I have a job and that has made me exhausted and with little time to spare, but don’t fret guys because I will be trying my best to post I just don’t have a mind full of thoughts at the moment. It’s a good job though but I still literally freak out when I have another shift. We move though. So yeah, I’m keeping this short but I also want to add that if you are reading this and are like “oh shit I don’t have this with my friends” just know that it took me a while to find the right people and get comfortable enough to talk with them like that. I mean if you read one of my past posts abut my first year of high school you would know I never thought I would get to this point. So just be yourself and wait because you will find those friends someday and you can’t rush that shit, but it will be so worth it, trust me on that. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

Advertisements

Advertisements

Advertisements
Personal comedy blog post feature image for Christmas with vine girl who says merry Chrysler

Merry Chrysler!

Merry Christmas guys! I want to keep this post short and sweet because honestly who the fuck wants to read this on Christmas but if you are then I respect you and you a real one. But anyway lol I know this year has been kinda very shite but it’s nearly over and we made… Continue Reading →

Thank Goodness For Growing Up

I’m no Peter Pan, but I never want to grow up. Well, except for these reasons. Maybe it won’t be so bad after all.

Humans Haven’t Evolved For Shit

Humans haven’t evolved for shit, well not in the way I would like. I would warn all the Ross Gellers, or people who actually understand this topic, to beware because this may cost you a few brain cells, but I do want to add I am not a Karen and I do believe in evolution, this is a joke.

Advertisements
One-Time
Monthly
Yearly

Make a one-time donation

Make a monthly donation

Make a yearly donation

Choose an amount

£3.00
£9.00
£60.00
£3.00
£9.00
£60.00
£3.00
£9.00
£60.00

Or enter a custom amount

£

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

DonateDonate monthlyDonate yearly
Advertisements

“You look just like your dad”

Let’s play a quick game of never have I ever. Never. Have I ever needed to hear that. Never have I ever wanted to hear that. Never have I ever felt good after hearing that. Never have I ever gone to someone’s house and they didn’t say this. Never have I ever been more offended. But literally why do people think that it would be a good thing to say to a teenage girl that they look just like an old, balding, wrinkly, angry, sore backed man. Like seriously what the fuck made you say that. There was actually one time I went to my sisters boyfriends house for some reason and I had never seen his parents before but I kid you not, the first thing they said to me was “you look just like your dad”… what dumb fuckery is that because I didn’t even know he had seen them. Like what the hell. Needless to say, I never saw them again. Highly unappreciated to be honest with you.

The saddest thing is though is that I can see it. Like they aren’t wrong. Did they need to point that out though? No. But they aren’t wrong. One time at New Years there was this thing where you had to guess who was who from their childhood photos. Don’t ask why. But we just did. And I was looking around when my sister called me over and was like “look at this” and so I did. She covered the hair of my dads picture and was like “look”. This bitch really called me out because it literally looked exactly like me. Great start to the new year am I right. Like why the actual fuck did I have to inherit his non-existent eyebrows and his literal 5 head. Not appreciated father.

But yeah, I never get compared to as my Mum but like I guess looking like my dad, while embarrassing, let’s me know I am not adopted because as a child I would be like “Oh mY GoD iM aDoPteD” just because I the only one in my whole family that has blonde hair. What do you guys get compared to. Is there anything other than your parents you get compared to or maybe even a celebrity! The only celebrity I’ve been compared to is the bloody monster from the goonies. He is such a babe though I guess.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this post and make sure to like and comment below if you have anything else to add. I’ll see you tomorrow for more hopefully and I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


The “Magical” Transformation That Happens When You Combine Two Of The Best Brain Reprogramming Technologies

You’ve heard of NLP?

It’s almost cultish.

It stands for neuro-linguistic programming and it’s like someone had taken the best out of all forms of psychotherapy, threw them in a blender and created NLP.

If you don’t get what I’m saying, NLP is two things.

First, it is a way of thinking. It’s a framework for how to approach your life to be more effective. It’s like a philosophy of life based on understanding how your brain functions.

Second, it is a psycho-therapy tool. It’s used to treat phobias and to change beliefs in patients. Some consider it as effective as CBT (cognitive-behavioral therapy) and most say it’s a lot faster than the Freudian school of thought.

Why?

Because at the core of NLP lies hypno-therapy. To be more specific, the “behavioral changing” part of NLP is built on the teachings of Milton Erickson, one if not the most famous hypnotherapists of all times. And you know what hypno-therapy does?

It’s an access, a hack, to your subconscious mind

Let me give you this analogy. Imagine your mind being like a computer. Your conscious mind is accessing programs, turning it on and off and so on. Normal user access. Your subconscious mind is like going into the settings, installing applications, deleting them, adding new users and so on.

It’s the “engine” or the “back room” that controls everything.

Well, NLP is like a hacker that can break the password of your subconscious mind and change there. It allows you to change beliefs and to change who you are, as a person, to your core. It goes to those deep thoughts and ideas you don’t even know you have and makes you act differently by tweaking your basic concepts of self.

It hijacks your subconscious mind, and it does it very well.

And with the use of NLP you can eliminate phobias, you can change basic preferences (as not liking chocolate anymore) or you can even cure wounds from the past, as those from childhood. It’s effective. It works well, and it’s endorsed by some of the best-known authors in the world. Tony Robbins built his career and success on NLP and if you run a survey amongst successful people, you’ll see that many of them are NLP practitioners or masters.

You can’t mess with what works.

So why am I telling you this?

If NLP is like a hacker that tweaks your subconscious mind so you can become the person you want to be, if NLP is like a design tool that allows you to redesign who you are, then brainwave entrainment is a tool that makes it faster and easier.

If NLP is the thief that breaks the lock-pick, then the use of brainwave entrainment with it is like having the best lock-pick in the world, making the process effortlessly.

And what does this mean for you?

It’s simple.

Use them both. Use the amazing power of NLP to change beliefs and self-identity concepts and use the power of brainwave entrainment to help your subconscious mind be receptive and open. Open the door with brainwave syncing and change the furniture with NLP.

A simple way to understand this is music.

Think about it and how easy it has the power to change you. You listen to a song and you’re not even paying attention to the lyrics. And yet, if it’s a sad song, you become sad. If it’s a lively song, it boosts your energy. If you listen it many times, you end up thinking like in the song.

Music is a great example of a tool that accesses your subconscious mind without even realizing. You turn on YouTube and through repetition and emotion, you end up being one with the music.

Have you tried reading a book you had no interest in reading? Maybe for college or work?

You read the words; they are verbalized in your mind but you end up forgetting everything. They “enter one year and exit another”. This is because your subconscious mind is as closed as it gets and learning can not happen in your conscious dimension.

This is why I use NLP in all my tools.

Brainwave entrainment is amazing for helping your mind operate at that higher frequency. They’re like Vitamin C for your life, making everything better. And if you use brainwave entrainment, this is enough to attract, to manifest good things in your life because you’ll be operating at a higher level.

However…

True, lasting change comes not by attracting things in our lives but by changing who we are so those things become a natural order. It’s when we change our beliefs and ideas so we transform into people for whom success and happiness are two natural things.

And this is where NLP works so well. It works for everything from curing phobias of spiders to getting past PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) to program you to be more confident in front of a crowd or to be more assertive with your coworkers.

This is because while short-term wins are great – if you want a successful life, you must become the person who is naturally successful. And the only difference between you and a successful person is that the other one developed the beliefs and identity of such a person. If you develop them too, there’s nothing stopping you from doing just.

I build my program “Manifestation Magic” around NLP.

Each audio contains hidden embedded commands that reprogram your subconscious mind. Like a good hacker, brainwave syncing is opening the path to your subconscious mind while NLP commands are transforming who you are into the best version you could ever be.

These are called “NLP patterns” and they’re designed to be as easy to receive by the subconscious mind as possible. I do this through a combination of pacing, intonation and wording so your mind can accept them as commands, as truth, without getting defensive. It’s like music, just so much more powerful.

Basically, an NLP pattern is what a hypno-therapist would tell you to put you into a trance. It is highly suggestive language that bypasses your rational filters to reach where it matters most, your subconscious mind.

NLP plus brainwave entrainment is like having a hacker change your mind. NLP alone can access your subconscious thoughts but when paired with brainwave entrainment, the results are mind blowing. You can see a real change in days when all other methods you’ve tried for a long time like therapy failed.

This is the secret behind “Manifestation Magic”.

This is why it works. It works because instead of just using brainwave entrainment to help you operate at a higher frequency, at a higher vibration, it also changes who you are at your core. The result is a total personal transformation into the person you’ve always wanted to be but never known how.

Click on the link below to discover more about how “Manifestation Magic” can help you.

>>Get Manifestation Magic Now<<

Cancel Culture – Let’s Address This Bitch

If anybody doesn’t know what cancel culture is, let me explain it to you. Technically, it is just this thing were people ‘cancel’ (or make them unfamous) people because of something bad they said in their lifetime. And you might be saying “well I mean that doesn’t sound too bad” but let me tell you a bit more. The types of things they use as evidence to cancel said person would literally be from when they were literally kids. So if, somehow, a video got out of them pronouncing the word “gay” wrong when they were first learning to talk, they would take that and be like “cancel this hoe, she doesn’t respect the LGBTQIA+ community” and then their whole career goes down the drain. Basically the people who support cancel culture are the so called “snow flake” generation. And that I agree with. The only cancelling I will agree with is cancelling cancel culture.

Advertisements

What is so aggravating about it is that the person could have completely changed from what they had been like 10 years ago and they would still be cancelled. I could be cancelled for this post because of the fact I think cancelling people for what they said years back is bad, but like people change bitch. Unless they said it the other day and don’t actually regret it, get over it because we all make mistakes. The things I have seen people have to apologize for are actually ridiculous. There was this one hilarious video I had watched, I forget what it was about, but it was so funny. It was by Spencerwuah I think, and it was the tiniest thing about literally nothing and people in the comments were like “oh my god I can’t believe you just said that” “address it” “oh my god some people are just so awful” and there are points where you actually think it’s a joke but it isn’t and your like who the fuck hurt you to be so sensitive.

Advertisements

People’s whole career’s get ruined for it too. Like when we are kids our parent’s tell us things and we believe them because we don’t know what else to think, like we haven’t made our own opinions yet. And then later on in life people learn that maybe their opinion isn’t right and so they change who they used to be, but people don’t like to see that. No matter how much they apologize, their career that they once loved has just disappeared. Now don’t get me wrong, there are some things that aren’t ok such as recent discoveries about James Charles and Shane Dawson being actual pedophiles, but like that is a literal crime and absolutely disgusting and it is recent with actual evidence that they did it. But like for other times, people really do just twist words. And they also just don’t give them a chance to defend themselves or correct themselves. Kind of like if one time they misgender someone and then they are like “Oh sorry, what are your pronouns?”, all the cancel culture bitches will be like “don’t try to make yourself look like the victim you are so close minded” when in reality they just made a mistake.

Advertisements

So just to finish I suppose, cancel culture needs to be cancelled because people change and some of the evidence you use to prove your point is ridiculous. But don’t get me wrong, if there are pedophilia charges or rape charges, those people don’t deserve to have freedom, but if it is something from 10 million years ago, they have probably changed so get your dramatic, pasty Karen ass out of here because we don’t wanna hear it. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself (unless you are a pedophile or rapist) PERIODT


Advertisements

Advertisements

Let’s Discuss It | New Borns

Whenever you grow up and someone says they have a “face only a mother could love”, that person is, one, a bitch, but two, speaking facts because, after the first time she sees her new-born baby, there is no way it can get any worse, so no matter what they look like when they grow… Continue Reading →

the christmas spirit is a curse, christmas, snow, winter, comforting

The Christmas Spirit Is a Curse

Whoever said Christmas is about giving, not receiving is fucking right because bitch do I GIVE! Now I ain’t tryna brag and be like oh my days I’m so unlucky that I have to/can spend money to get stuff for my family, but like I’m just saying that I am acting as though I’ve got… Continue Reading →

2 COVID Tests and a Christmas in Quarantine

12 days ’til Christmas and my true love gave to me, a big fucking mess. I mean what the actual hell. Here I am with a bit of a sore head and a stuffy nose and then I take a wee lateral flow test before I go out to Ju-Jitsu but then the 2nd line… Continue Reading →

Advertisements
One-Time
Monthly
Yearly

Make a one-time donation

Make a monthly donation

Make a yearly donation

Choose an amount

£3.00
£9.00
£60.00
£3.00
£9.00
£60.00
£3.00
£9.00
£60.00

Or enter a custom amount

£

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

DonateDonate monthlyDonate yearly
Advertisements

The Next Generation Are Going To Be Messed Up and Here Is Why

I was thinking about this today and it really got me worried. I have never seen an embarrassing photo of a baby in a long time. I don’t mean in old photos, but I mean that on Instagram, the babies are always in Nike or Gucci with their hair immaculate and they never are caught in a bad moment. So why is this bad you may ask? Well, let me tell you. How the hell are these kids going to be humbled when they grow up and don’t have any embarrassing photos to look back on? Answer me that because all of their generation are gonna walk around feeling like they are absolutely perfect and, while we love self confidence, you don’t want to be a bitch about it. My generation are humbled by the fact that there are hundreds of our photos scattered around our house that could completely ruin our life. Like there are a few where, if they got into the world, I may never recover from. But they don’t have that. They voluntarily release it into the world with the caption “I woke up like this” while when I was there age I woke up with the 2 different Dora the explora pj’s and a bush of hair. And that would be a good day.

Advertisements

To be fair though it kind of makes us more iconic. I mean I suppose it is very embarrassing when your mum or dad whips it out one day out of the blue and shows it to every breathing thing in the street, but it’s a bit of fun. Because you know everyone else has embarrassing photos so it is fine and is quite a fun time. Like their friend group is going to be so dry because they won’t have any embarrassing or funny stories to completely die about. The most they will have is the time their mum didn’t match their Gucci handbag to their Gucci belt. It isn’t ok to be honest. They will be able to sleep at night. They won’t get that flashback every night of that embarrassing point in their life 10 years ago. The audacity.

Advertisements

I still get haunted by this one photo I have that is literally of 2 year old me butt naked by the side of the pool just chilling and obviously, instead of being parents and getting me changed or out of the view of others, they decided to take a bloody photo and print it out for everyone to be scared by. But again, it’s a big lol moment and I am not ashamed. At least I have a personality. At least I have the reassurance that, despite the shittness of my life, I look better than I used to. I know that I have at least evolved from that moment if nothing else. So what I looked like a crack head baby?! Who wasn’t? I think that when I have kids I will make sure they are allowed to just be kids and roam around so that I can take as many embarrassing photos as I can with great camera quality and then in the future they will be so pissed but I can look at them straight in the eyes and say with all honesty “It’s for your own good, kid”. Maybe they will hate me but at least my kid won’t into a cheeky bitch or a bully because they think they are better than anyone else.

Advertisements

Honestly, what will happen if they only have good baby photos? Surely that will have some affect. I mean, imagine peaking when you are a literal foetus and when you are older you know that you can never get much better than that because now instead of expensive designer clothes, you are stuck with Primark tops and sketchers. Too be fair, primark is top notch and I am sorry if I just offended it there. I will forever worship primark. But yeah, to all the parents out there with the generation I am talking about, please, for the sake of humanity and your children’s future, dress them up like unicorn barf and let them get all muddy and be like actual kids. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

Advertisements

Advertisements

Advertisements

I Needed More Time In The Oven

Before you start calling child protection services, let me just clear something up. No, I am not the gingerbread man and no I am not in some weird family where instead of a naughty step I get the literal oven. What I’m referring to is the lack of basic features that I kinda feel were… Continue Reading →

After 7 Years I’m Not Sure My Pet Is A Dog

I know what you are thinking, “what the fuck does your dog look like”. But it isn’t because of that. She is literally the cutest thing you will ever see, well… apart from at the moment because she just got a haircut that made her hella ugly, but it’s fine it’ll grow back. The thing… Continue Reading →

Shocking Event That United The UK More Than Ever

Now I’m not someone who gets political, not even when it comes to Brexit taking our magic stars, but this phenomenon has to be mentioned. It is absolutely mental how this one thing has united the countries within the UK more than anything else. I feel we have actually joined as a team to create… Continue Reading →

One-Time
Monthly
Yearly

Make a one-time donation

Make a monthly donation

Make a yearly donation

Choose an amount

£3.00
£9.00
£60.00
£3.00
£9.00
£60.00
£3.00
£9.00
£60.00

Or enter a custom amount

£

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

DonateDonate monthlyDonate yearly
Advertisements

Weekly Reminder

Hi guys. This post is quite late but I am sure none of you really care about that. The truth is though, this week has been tough and I don’t want to hide that from you all because despite the fact I usually upload positive content and jokes etc. my life is not perfect. Not one single bit. I just wanted to be honest with you guys because it is ok to have a hard time with things and you aren’t weird for feeling that way. I am not quite sure what to write in the rest of this and I am going to keep it short because, well, long story short, I am very exhausted in more ways than one.

Advertisements

I guess I just wanted to remind you all that social media is the fakest thing on this earth. More fake than that ‘pick me’ girl in the back of your class. Like the pictures you see of men with rock hard abs or girls with the ‘perfect body’ are all utter bullshit. They are put into the perfect position where the lighting is great and the makeup is on point, and then for the imperfections that are inevitable, they are photoshopped. I know you all know this anyway, but it can be so bloody easy to remember. I could look through one person’s Instagram and see how they have the perfect life with a bunch of friends, a massive house, a massive yacht, going all over the world, and at that moment it is as if everything I have ever been told doesn’t count them in it. Every other photo on Instagram is fake, except this one right here. But how? When you say it out loud it makes no fucking sense but when you look at a post, it seems like the truth. And then you scroll on and the same thing happens, and again and again and again. But what we need to ask ourselves is “have we ever seen a picture of someone in their bedroom crying, or someone feeling lonely and lost and depressed?”. That answer is most likely no. And why is that? Well, because that doesn’t get views. It may at one point but it could ruin their whole presence on social media for the rest of their life. If you saw a video of someone complaining about how miserable they were while on a sunny beach in Greece, would you subscribe to them and adore them? Or would you scoff at them and call them entitled. It’s ok if you do scoff at them. It is completely human nature because from the outside they look like pricks. And that is my point. They are fake because they have to, and despite the fact we support those who are open and honest, their career gets shot down when they do.

Advertisements

So don’t get the impression that I am trying to put the blame onto society for being hypocritical or something like that, but I just wanted to remind you that people don’t like to put the sad moments of their life where everyone can see them and they only put the moments online that look like they are having the best day in the world. Even if they are happy in that moment, the next day they could be unable to get out of bed, and so they won’t post anything, and you won’t see that. So no matter how someone looks in terms of their body or their emotion, that isn’t the whole picture. We aren’t shown the whole picture and we may never know, but we need to believe that there is one and that, just like normal human beings, they aren’t perfect and neither is their life so we can’t compare ourselves to that one tiny moment of their lives. You are brilliant, you are much more than anyone knows, nobody should ever underestimate your strength, and you need to understand that everyone is blessed to have you in their life. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.


Advertisements

which sense of humour do you have

Which Sense of Humour Do You Have?

I think that to start this post we need to figure out what the word “humour” really means. I’m no Oxford dictionary but in my opinion, it is the things we find funny and that we enjoy making/hearing jokes about. Nothing fancy just a basic bitch definition. I guess now that is out of the… Continue Reading →

christmas controversy

The Century-Long Christmas Controversy

Merry Christmas to everyone!… except those who say happy Christmas. You can go to hell. I don’t really know what it is that possesses people to say “happy” Christmas but I don’t want it. Like it makes me shrivel up and die inside. I can actually hear the elves and Santa cry from the north… Continue Reading →

Advertisements
One-Time
Monthly
Yearly

Make a one-time donation

Make a monthly donation

Make a yearly donation

Choose an amount

£3.00
£9.00
£60.00
£3.00
£9.00
£60.00
£3.00
£9.00
£60.00

Or enter a custom amount

£

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

DonateDonate monthlyDonate yearly

Money Can’t Solve Your Pro… Shut The Fuck Up

In the wise words of Ariana Grande, “whoever said money can’t solve your problems must not have had enough money to solve ’em” and I live by that honestly. It is true though. Like a lot of my problems are caused by money but can also be fixed by them soooo. But every time I hear that phrase, I just think of the mugs that we all got as a kid and it would say “money can’t buy happiness but it can buy you cupcakes” and we would literally eat it up. We thought we were so fucking relatable when we had bloody chocolate milk in that mug or something like that. That’s what I hate though whenever I tell people I want to get rich and live the life I want and they are like “but money isn’t everything. It can’t solve your problems” and I just look at them like “I don’t give a flying fuck if it doesn’t solve my problems. It would be impossible to solve that many. Even my therapist can’t do it bitch, but I would rather be depressed in Greece under the sun with a lovely view, than stuck in Northern Ireland with the view of bloody chavs roaming around the streets. You get me? I mean which one do you prefer? Be honest.

Advertisements

And I think that having a lot of money wouldn’t solve all my problems, but it could solve someone else’s. I want to do charity work in Africa or something or like give a homeless person a house, but if I don’t have the money, what the fuck am I going to do? Walk up to a homeless person and say “you see that house there. That is yours… is what I would say if I have the money but I don’t” *walks away* I mean that doesn’t sound fair to me. And I don’t see why people get so pressed whenever you talk about wanting lots of money. Like I’m just talking to my family or something and I’m like “yeah I want to get rich and travel the world” and they look at me like I just turned into fucking Donald Trump and as though I’m a disappointment for wanting to be successful. Mum and Dad just be like “I thought we brought you up well! I can’t believe you’ve just done this!” *me laughing because I am now thinking of that one vine*

Advertisements
https://tenor.com/embed.js
Advertisements

Yeah, I hope other people got that reference because that would be quite embarrassing if you didn’t. But back on topic. Why is it that people think money is such a bad thing. When people win the lottery, others are like “awk you don’t even need all that money, why did they even take the money oh my god” and I don’t know if they are just jealous or something but like if someone went up to you and was like “well done you won the lottery of £20 million” and you were like “no it’s ok I don’t really want it. Thank you” and they are like “but you literally bought a fucking ticket for it” and then your like “money doesn’t solve your problems, so no thank you” and then the guy says “£20 million fucking will you dumb fuck”. Like honestly, you entered it for a reason. So many people do. Do you want to not win it? Do you just like to complain that you never get it, when in reality you would just throw it away if you won. Like yes it is a lot of money but it doesn’t mean they are just gonna wipe their ass with it. They probably will donate some or do something nice with it. It isn’t their fault for entering a lottery like normal. They didn’t harry potter the fuck out of the numbers so they won. It is all by chance. So like why are people judging them the fuck! Make it make sense please because right now I would be loving a couple million in the bank.

Advertisements

I could list about 100 problems that money could solve for me. That isn’t even a joke. I wouldn’t have to go to school or work ever again, I could travel and see things I never would have been able to see, I could help the less fortunate, I would have more of a voice, I could actively do things to improve the planet, I could do things like skydiving that I have never done before, I could pay for my mum and dad to never go to work again, I could support so many of the people I love. But then again that would make me selfish, no? I think it would be pretty bloody great to get a load of money you know. So to whatever numskull first said “money can’t solve your problems”, I dare you to win the lottery and find out what it solves, because hopefully it could fix your fucking brain for thinking money won’t do anything. But here’s what I will do. I will try my hardest to become rich and gather a lot of money, and then I will be the judge that will end the question of whether or not it solves my problems and at the moment, my guess is that it will, so just wait a few years and I’ll get back to you *sips wine from “money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you cupcakes”mug*

Advertisements

Thank you so much for reading this post. It was a tad random, but lets be honest, it was necessary. Who else thinks that money could solve their problems? I know that some of mine could. Not all of them like but money can also pay for a therapist which could help. I don’t know, but hopefully we will find out. Please like, comment and subscribe if you enjoyed this content and I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


Advertisements

Check Out Some Of My Other Posts

These Brands Are Getting Way Out Of Hand

Up until last month, I used to think that Corona was the worst thing that happened to us but fuck me this is 10 times worse. I mean I know the pandemic was tough but this has ruined my whole entire life and all of my memories. It makes me physically ill to talk about… Continue Reading →

Selfishness is Comforting

I know, I know, this sounds so bloody stupid but I swear that by the end of this post you will completely agree. Selfishness is comforting when you look at it in a particular way. And I’m almost certain that if you are someone who has hit rock bottom and ended up looking at motivational… Continue Reading →

Advertisements
One-Time
Monthly
Yearly

Make a one-time donation

Make a monthly donation

Make a yearly donation

Choose an amount

£3.00
£9.00
£60.00
£3.00
£9.00
£60.00
£3.00
£9.00
£60.00

Or enter a custom amount

£

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

DonateDonate monthlyDonate yearly

Weekly Reminder | Who Is The Baddest B*tch?

For the past couple of weeks I have been making more comforting weekly reminders, but it’s about time we speed this shit up. Its time for some hype and I am here for it. This is gonna be cringed as fuck but I don’t give a crap because it is what it is and nobody even cares!

Advertisements

You see, we live our whole life wondering “what will they think about me” and “that will be embarrassing” as if we should give a fuck. You are the baddest bitch and nobody can top it. If they are judging you, they just are pointing out the things they wish they had. I’m not about to go and preach “life is short” because I think it is a fucking long time to be honest, but no matter how long you live, there is no time for crap and you should be using that time to live your best life. I mean think of it. What good comes out of thinking about what others think? Literally nothing. You get fake friends. You have low self-esteem and you most likely live in fear id being caught. But when you live like you want, you may have less friends, but those that you have are the best, and you don’t have to be fake, you are more comfortable being yourself.

Advertisements

It is always when after you change yourself that you realise it was a mistake, so let me save you the time. If you are thinking about everyone else but yourself when making a decision, don’t fucking do it. Block out all the noise telling you that it matters what they think because chances are they don’t give a fuck and chances are they aren’t going to benefit you at all. Whether you like it or not, you are the only thing that matters, and for some reason we can never accept that, but if anyone dares tell you otherwise just remember what a bad bitch you are. You don’t need the validation of any fucking person because you are all you need and others are just a bonus. You need to live your best life, and you need to block out any person that tries to take that away from you because they have no right to take your shine. So whenever you go out to a party, or even just to the supermarket, you go in like the confident bitch you are because people should be honored to even say hello to you. You are one of the greatest people in that room and can’t nobody tell you otherwise.

Advertisements

So don’t you dare listen to anyone else. Listen to this and only this because everyone else is telling lies, but this is the truth and I know it. You need to know it too. Take a look what you can do and have done. You have gone through a pandemic, through life, your live on the ‘Goldilocks’ planet, breathing, sleeping, digesting, putting smiles on peoples faces, changing the world with every step you make. Nobody like you has ever or will ever be on this planet, so you gotta show them all that you got. Go down in history because you are so amazing and unique and inspiring. I love you and so do so many other people. Make sure nobody ever underestimates you. You are worth so much more than their time and their thoughts and all the things that they judge you for. Live the life you want and shout “eat my dust bitches”. Become friends with those on your level, the ones who match your speed. And if they start to slow done, you keep going. You keep doing what you need to do because that is what you want to do and nobody should take that goal away from you. PERIODT

Advertisements

Advertisements

A Wise Woman Once Said… and She Lived Happily Ever After

This post sounds like it is going to be really sentimental and I mean, I suppose it it, but just let me tell you what the sentence says. So, one day I was walking around town with my friends and we went into this shop just for the lols and then when I saw this I thought that I just needed it. It was actually on a card but I thought that it would be a nice decoration for my room. Now, I look at it every day and just think that I have never seen anything more powerful in my life

Advertisements

A wise woman one said “fuck this shit” and she lived happily ever after

I mean periodt. I now live my life like that woman because it is s true. Maybe it has gone a bit too far though because I use this whenever I have a slight inconvenience in my life. I can’t finish one of the Math questions? Fuck this shit. I am not instantly perfect at something? Fuck this shit. You know what I mean. But I guess it is a good thing to live off because you really can’t be taking life too seriously. I mean think about it. We are living on a rock flying around a ball of gas in a massive empty space that is constantly growing into some unknown thing which has been around for billions of years, yet we are made to sit in school for the first 20+ years of our life to learn about shit that doesn’t mean anything to us and we also have the audacity to care about what others think. Basically everything we know is a theory too. The structure of the earth is a theory, evolution is a theory, the atomic structure is a theory. Pretty much everything is a theory that we choose to believe as the truth. We have made giant pieces of metal fly in the sky with people in it and we have made massive skyscrapers. The world is so fucked up yet so amazing. There are so many things we know and yet we know nothing at all. It is the biggest joke and yet we take it seriously. We actually give a fuck what people think. People that will, one day, never be in our life again and will one day die and forget that time you did something embarrassing.

Advertisements

We gotta all stop taking life so seriously because no matter how many homework’s you miss, no matter how many times you get turned down or dumped, no matter how many times you fail, it means fuck all because it will have no massive income on any of this. Now, you can take this in the wrong way and think “then what is the point in doing any off this”, or you can take this in the better way that we just need to live our life the way we want to and get remembered as the baddest bitch who gave no fucks. It is just like the saying “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take” so go and fucking do what you want because you never know, that could make an impact of others. They might be inspired by you, look up to you for years, be in history books. The thing about life is that you either get remembered for something massively impactful or nothing at all. That’s great! You won’t get remembered for the time you told someone you liked them but got rejected. You wont be remembered for the time you tripped up, or the time you failed a test, or the time you forgot the lines in a play. It may seem so big in the moment, but we all just gotta remember that this shit means nothing and that doesn’t even count for a fraction of the time of the universe. The universe will go on for billions of years so that one moment will be so insignificant that it won’t matter, so why should you dwell on it?

So if you are gonna do anything, be that wise women and say “FUCK THIS SHIT”. Hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


Advertisements

How Has The Truth About The Royalty Affected Teens

I am not sure who has watched the interview between Harry, Meghan and Opera yet, but in summary, the royalty were exposed for the tyrannical, cruel and racist organisation that they are. The sole fact that Harry was scared for Meghan’s safety is enough to strike worry through our hearts. And for me, as I watched a few clips, there were a few things that hit especially hard for me. I am not sure if others can relate but lets find out.

There have been a lot of people who have been really close-minded after hearing her talk and I really don’t understand why. She literally just opened up about one of the most difficult times in her life and then you go to accuse her of lying. She isn’t a bad person who would do something like that. With every photo from her past you could see the pain in her eyes, despite her smile. That is something you can’t fake. And it is crazy how none of us knew that. We all had a romanticized perception of the royal family and we couldn’t see that we were close to losing her. The woman who is so kind and influential is falling apart. It kind of reminds me of the fact that basically everything out there is fake. Every picture, every smile, every rumor is fake. And Meghan is the walking reminder of that. She had said in her interview that there was a point in time that she was afraid to be by herself as she was scared of what she would do and I know that so many of you out there will understand what she means on a personal level. It just goes to show that these famous people we see everyday on TV, or maybe in real life, are still people just like you and me. They have thoughts that are terrifying to think of. Despite the ‘ideal lifestyle’, they aren’t happy all the time and they don’t always want to live that way.

So many of us wish to be just like these people. Have all their cars, their money, their fame, their skills, but we don’t realise what else comes with the package. For all you know, they are close to leaving this world. They look as though they have everything, yet they feel as thought they have lost it all. But they can’t really show that because of media and their role in society. When I saw pictures of Meghan Markle, I thought she was living the life. I mean she lived in a palace, she is beautiful, talented and independent, yet her voice, which meant so much to her was silenced. For me, to hear all these things that were taken away from her, her rights, her freedom, it makes me rethink so many things. It made me remember that we aren’t the only ones that are struggling. The people who have made it big in this world are also struggling with their mental health, just like us. Sometimes I watch these videos on YouTube that talk about what other famous people have gone through and, although it usually isn’t good for me, I sometimes get a comforting feeling that they are by my side. Of course I know they aren’t, but I kind of just imagine them being here with me and supporting me because they actually know what it is like. This idle that I have loved for so long is so amazing and strong, and maybe I can become just like them. I won’t be destroyed by this illness, and they are the proof.

And then there were the people who would judge her for every little thing she did. Despite the fact that Kate did the same things, Meghan was literally bullied by the tabloids. She held her baby bump? ‘vanity’. Eating an avocado? ‘Killing the environment’. Somebody come get their English teacher because they are reading into this stuff way to much. And like Meghan said ‘that is a loaded piece of toast’. How dare you disrespect this woman for breathing. It is so ridiculous. Let her live. Let her be herself. She is such a great person who doesn’t deserve this type of abuse. It really goes to show that you can bullied for literally anything. Literal famous people with hardly a fault are still criticized and judged. And it makes me sick that her skin colour was an obvious problem in the royal family. I have no doubt this has happened to her in other stages throughout her life, but the fact that her own family are now part of this abuse it so disappointing. They literally have so much knowledge about what is going on in this world, yet they are still racist and cruel. Yes this isn’t all of them, but at the moment we don’t know who it is. There really is no excuse for their actions and they don’t deserve to have her in their family. In my opinion, they made the best decision by getting out of there.

I can’t say I have gone through all of the same situations as Meghan, obviously, but at the end she said that is takes real courage and strength to actually ask for help and… I am not really sure how to write how it made me felt. Just overwhelmed with comfort and hope I suppose. As though she was actually talking to me. And for me, I really look up to female figures because I feel some sort of connection as in, we are going through some of the same things that all girls go through and I want to use my voice just like she does. Her confidence and honesty really affected me and the interview was really empowering. I know I will never actually be able to talk to her in real life, unfortunately, but I felt like I was there with her. I know I have focused on Meghan this whole time and please don’t think I have something against Harry because I really don’t. I think what he did for his family was really brave and I respect him so much, but I am focusing on Meghan because, well she said the most during the interview I suppose. She said most of the impactful things.

But yeah, I guess that overall, what I am gonna take away from all of this is that, famous people are, in fact, real people. They go through tough crap just like us and we can look up to them as an example that, despite what we go through, we can make it. No matter what, there is a chance to success for all of us.

Thank you guys so much for reading. I know I am not the best at getting all of my feeling down on paper… or on the internet, but I hope I got my main point across. Please like, follow and comment your opinions on the interview. Hope you all have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT


Adults Can Hear Our Thoughts! What Happens Now?

This list could go on forever and have millions of different outcomes but I am going to talk generally and focus more on how I think so don’t worry if you don’t think the same things. There are countless numbers of things I could say, but just know that what you think is valid and I am not mentioning every little thing.


If I woke up one day and my parents and every other adult could hear what I thought, I would be terrified. And no, not for the thing you are thinking right now, get your head out of the gutter. But I would be scared because I think a lot of dark, scary things. Overall, I think my parents would be worried and scared because I am not the ‘little girl’ they think I am. My parents say I will always be their baby, because I am the youngest in the family, by one minute may I add but that’s beside the point. But no, they would definitely be so confused.

In my opinion, parents think that teenagers only think about how to piss them off or when we can run away and do drugs or something, but really, we think about so many mature things that they would think we don’t care about or understand. I remember one day I was volunteering at this run and then this adult was like ‘oh I think it’s going to be a warm summer’ and being the socially awkward person I am I said ‘I hope so’ because I mean who doesn’t like a warm summer. And then the man said ‘that isn’t good. Global warming is getting worse. But then I suppose your generation don’t really care about that stuff’. When I tell you I wanted to shout, I mean I was ready to have a full Greta Thunberg moment. I didn’t say anything because, well, I am socially awkward. It is so annoying how ignorant some people are. If my parents heard me think they would see how much I think about that stuff because, believe it or not, we are the ones that will have to live in this world long after you are gone. Sorry that was really morbid but it’s true. And you can’t blame us for global warming. You guys are the ones who created these greenhouse-producing products, and you are the ones who raised us to use them. And now we are left to clean up your mess. So don’t tell us that we know nothing because we know that we are going to be the ones to fix your mess.

Adults would also be surprised by how much I actually think about the future. These can be good things and bad things. I think about what jobs I’ll do and how to save, start a business, invest in stocks, get a house, a family. But I also think about depressing stuff because my mental health is not top-notch. I don’t know if this is just me but I actually do think about ‘grown-up’ things. I do worry about not being able to get a good job because I failed my test. I do worry about being homeless because the prices of houses are only increasing. I do worry about how I will handle living on my own and paying off everything. They truly do underestimate us because they only remember the bad things we did. They never remember the mature things we do.

One of the useful things for them being able to hear our thoughts is that they would finally understand why we are being ‘grumpy’. Whether it is because we fell out with our friends, our parents came home angry which in turn made us angry, or we are having a bad mental health day. They always assume that it is us just being a ‘teenager’ and then completely dismiss us. Yes, sometimes we can just be having a bad day, but everyone does. We never say to you ‘why are you always so angry? It’s all of that phone time’. No because for one that is disrespectful for us to say what you say but also because we have sympathy and understand that it must be something that happened today. We aren’t all selfish animals you know, if anything I am overly sympathetic and that is why I am never truly happy. I always think about others and never myself. My goal in life is not to make your day worse. It’s not even close to that. If you could hear what I was saying to myself you would finally understand why I don’t want to talk or why I want to lie in my bed all day.


Thank you for reading this. Obviously I didn’t add all the things they would realise but I didn’t want to make this to long. I might make a part two in the future, so please comment if you would like that and feel free to comment any other things you would like me to mention. Stay safe and know you are loved.

If you could spare some change

I really want to keep all my content free so if anyone could donate even a little money I would be forever grateful

£1.00

Advertisements

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑