The Method Guaranteed To Make a Lifelong Friend

I’m not someone who is overly confident, or confident in any sense of the word to be honest, but I have found that there is something that people say when I first talk to them that instantly makes me want to get to know them and be best friends. I have also only really recognised this lately because a few people have done this now and I instantly respect and like that person. But yeah I suppose I’ll spill the answer for all of those unconfident people who like to socialise but hate small talk with a passion.

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So what is it? Well, I can guarantee you that will make a lifelong friend if you ask them something like “what do you want to be/do when you are older” or just any deep fucking question. Like one time I was working and it was quite quiet so I was just folding napkins and then one of the girls who works there was just like “isn’t it weird how in life we just wait for everything to be finished” and I just didn’t really know what to say because I thought she was reading my mind or some shit. And it was so out of pocket! Like so far out of pocket that it isn’t even visible. I mean where is the pocket? I don’t know but I am fully out of that bitch! Don’t get me wrong, I loved the energy but like it threw me off my folding rhythm because I didn’t realise anybody else had thoughts like that.

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And usually people find it a bit weird to talk about existential stuff like that when you don’t really know them that well but like fuck me, I knew instantly that this was going to be a good friendship. Bare in mind I did quit shortly after and have only texted her once but like it could have been something good I guess. I don’t see why those types of topics have to be so official to talk about because I know that those conversations you have late at night at a sleepover with your friends are the best ways to become closer with them. Like you realise that people actually all thing fucked up shit like this. Obviously I don’t think it would be the best to turn to a stranger and be like “hey, isn’t it funny how I literally always think of fucking ending it lol” because that’s a bit deep and will most likely scare them off. Unless they are a therapist, in which case you better get your planner out because you are gonna be booked in to see them for the next year at least. I guess you could count that as getting a friend :/

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But I think something more just like “what do you even think is out there, like in space and shit” is a good one to go for because you could talk about that for ages and everyone thinks about that stuff so it would be easy and you would bond with the person. That is, of course, unless they are a dumb bitch and think that it’s all a scam and we are all just in some game. To be fair I would vibe with that. It isn’t even that dumb to be fair so sorry about that but you could even get into talking about conspiracy theories and shit. I think it would also give you a good scope of their personality and who they are as a person. You could probably find all the red flags within that one conversation. You could find they are a flat earther, racist, sexist, homophobic, one of those people who think the world is only like 7000 years old. It could save you a lot of time and effort by getting all that shit cleared up in your first conversation.

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I suppose it is quite the risky one as well because if the first thing you say to them is like “what are your opinions on the Epstein island stuff?” they might be like who the fuck are you and how did you get in my house?! Sorry that was a bit of dark humour, I don’t condone breaking into people’s houses. But anyways, they might be like that is so weird I don’t want to talk to you, then that is there loss and now you know they aren’t your type of person. It probably means they aren’t really down to earth or kind which is a bit ironic seeing as you would think people interested in conspiracy theories are not down-to-earth but I find that people who like to talk about that type of stuff are open-minded and generally interesting people. They don’t just believe what is said on the news and aren’t close-minded cheeky shits.

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Anyways, I suppose that is all that I wanted to mention and I hope that helps you out in some sort of way. Let me know if this worked for you and if you have a best friend because of a similar conversation. I mean small talk is the stupidest shit ever and like why not skip to the fun stuff? Don’t forget to like, comment and follow because I am planning to post more and I might just do some conspiracy theory posts because I actually do find them somewhat interesting to talk about. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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Do You Know What’s Weird? Everything

So I know this is quite a broad topic guys. I know what I am getting myself into. An existential crisis. But I am ready for it you know. I am ready to question life and everything there is to do about it because… to be honest, I’m bored and don’t have anything else to do, so lets go ahead and get this started together.

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Did you know that if all our empty space was taken away from out atoms, a single person would fit into a grain of sand. And did you know that if the whole universe had the space between the atoms taken away that it would fit inside a sugar cube. I mean this bitch really taking grandpa in my pocket to a whole new level. And then also, if you took an atom and made it’s nucleus into the size if a peanut, then the electrons would be the size of a fucking tennis court! I am not even joking with you guys! That is true! To be honest, I think electrons are definitely a “pick me” type of person. Like was there any need to be so large. And also take up so much fucking space. I mean what is the point of that. Does the nucleus have a bloody restriction order from the electrons because I don’t blame it, it seems like a sassy bitch. But like 99.99999999…% of an atom is just empty space but then how the fuck is everything solid. How the actual hell can we not just break things so easily. How are things bloody solid! And if the electrons, protons and neutrons are all just energy how the hell do they come to make something solid and is there some sort of connection between them that means they don’t go out of line. How do they make up everything? Yet are literally pretty much nothing. And how do we know that it is 99.99999999…% empty space? We haven’t gotten anything small enough to be able to see it, yet we literally see this as a fact.

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So many things now a days are a theory, but like surely after all this time you would have figured something out as a fact. Like we are just prepared to believe everything aren’t we. If a scientist came out and said “we are all fucking caterpillars who just haven’t turned into butterflies yet!” the world would literally eat it up. We would all go around thinking how crazy it is that we are all caterpillars and then bitches would be going around saying “oh my it all makes sense now. That is why when we die we get angel wings or devil wings” as though it was clear all along. Like the actual fuck! But then there are still people who are like “oh my god get that vaccine away from me! It contains a whole fucking laptop in it that will slowly poison me, make a clone of me, fly to the sun to their secret base and then come back home to eat the hearts of children!”. I think that is why I couldn’t be a nurse or a doctor because I would actually have to just slap them in the face and shout “you actual dumb bitch. You update your fucking Facebook friends every time you take a shit so obviously you aren’t that private. I’m going to have to call a cleaner for all the crap that just came out of your mouth. Why the fuck would we want to track your boring ass anyways? So we can see how long it takes to get to the manager’s office, Karen?! Huh! Don’t flatter yourself bitch”. Wow that went off topic a bit

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What other things are kinda weird? Hmm, well I guess this is kinda the same thing but like the beginning of the universe and I guess the universe now. I mean you are telling me that all the mass that has ever been in the universe or ever will be has been here since the very beginning of time. I was there (well, I mean my atoms were) and you and everyone else. The floor you stand on the air you breathe and we were all confined withing a dense ball that just happened to be here somehow. Like how did that mass just happen to become a thing and if matter can’t be created or destroyed then how was it created in the first place?! Answer me that science. Oh and I would like to say that I am not saying this from a religious perspective, it really just boggles my mind. But moving on, like how did it just burst one day and what was it in? What did it burst into? What is outside the walls of the universe? How do we know that the universe is still expanding? Is someone out there looking? Because what if you get to the end and then you are like “what the fuck do we do now?” like are you expecting there to be a door or some guy just walks out like “shit I didn’t think you would get here so early” and then just restart the universe. And what I also have to admit is that, if the world was a whole simulation, I couldn’t give a shit. Like who cares. Nothing else will really change. And if my life happened to be the Truman show, I also wouldn’t care. I mean that would be pretty cool. Everyone knows me, everyone (hopefully) likes me, and most likely I won’t even become broke because they want to make good TV not just a bum on the street. I mean I hardly doubt it is but like what’s the big problem?

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So yeah, I guess that is a bit of it. I am sure you know that this isn’t all of everything so I might have to make another post about this on a later date, but, for now, my 99.99999999% empty space, atom made, universe old, Truman show ass is tired, so I will see you later I guess. Don’t forget to like, follow and comment if you liked this type of content. I also just wanted to mention that, if you want, I mean you obviously don’t have to lol, there is a wee space below where you can like donate money to my blog so that I can keep doing this type of stuff in the future. Anything helps, but like if you don’t want to give a stranger money, that’s fine, but maybe you could leave a like or something. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

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I’m not above a fight

See, I don’t really like it when people are cheeky to me. I mean you can be upfront and shout at me and I’ll be fine with that. My sisters have conditioned me to that. But if you are being passive aggressive or cheeky in front of me or behind my back, I won’t hesitate … Continue reading I’m not above a fight

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