Social Media If They Were People pt.1

Bare with me on this one guys because I know the title makes it sound dumb as fuck, but we need to address this shit. I will literally make everything make sense to you because I know you know this but you don’t know that you know it yet, if that makes sense. Basically, you are gonna agree with me and realise that I am describing each social media platform perfectly. I came up with this content idea because I just saw that youtube came out with a new section called “shorts” and I suddenly got a flashback to 2015-2016 when the whole bloody “snapchat copying Instagram” uproar came around. That really was a simpler time. But anyways, let’s get into it because we do need to say a number of things.

Advertisements

Facebook

This is like a mum. More specifically, an older mum, but like not ancient, but her kids are nearly finished highschool or something. I think this because obviously this is what all the older generations worship and it really hasn’t changed that much. It doesn’t really copy everything that all the other social platforms are doing and if they do, they are absolutely crap at it. Facebook would also be a mum because they always keep track of everywhere you are, everyone you are with and every breathe you take. It also is always listening and you never realise until they start talking about it so much and outing you on what you were discussing in private. Facebook would defo be a mum because it tells everyone absolutely everything. It shows a post that your 3rd cousin was tagged in and you discover when anyone has any type of situation. It just contains all the information in the world whether you like it or not and now everyone you know and don’t know, are aware of the fact you got your period or some shit. If you disagree with my decision of who Facebook would be, you are wrong. But you also got to give Facebook credit because they are still going strong. They are keeping up, kind of, with everything that is happening and is known all around the world. They are a comfort for most and don’t give up, even when they are exposed by everyone and the generation that use Facebook are now dying out, so like fair play I guess.

Advertisements

Instagram

Regina George. Just this one person. I guess it could be any person that is a blonde bitch, thinks she is loved by everyone, but in reality everyone hates her and is bullied by her and if anyone were to say anything bad about her, they would be banished from society despite the fact they all feel the same way. Like I really don’t see any way that Instagram wouldn’t be that bitch because she has the aesthetics, she has the followers, she has everything and although she steals other people’s trends, nobody says anything about it. Like Instagram literally has reels which is so crap because it is literally tiktok videos downloaded onto Instagram because the name is so big that they need to be on it but literally who the fuck is watching reels. If anybody watches them it is because they are trying to stay off tiktok for a while so they don’t feel too guilty. But yeah, I don’t get good vibes from Instagram and if I were to see her in the hallway, I would be scared. I don’t like her very much but again, if I said that in public I would be beaten to a pulp.

Advertisements

Twitter

Twitter is quite difficult to describe because there are just so many layers. But what I think, and bare with me on this one, is that twitter is that really nice person who seems to be friends with everyone but is still kind of quiet and doesn’t cause any trouble, but she knows everyone’s secrets because they all trust her. So she is kind of the one you go to for the tea and everything going on everywhere and nobody really has hate against her, she is just there and doesn’t cause drama. Like we do need to give twitter a round of applause because she hasn’t changed for no bitch. Like maybe she has cleaned up her image and matured, as we all do, but she hasn’t done any type of tiktok rip off and she is comforting. Like there is no pressure of looks or expectations and you find everything you need. I just know that twitter would be smart, funny, just perfect and always acts herself which is why everyone loves her. They are an OG if you will.

Advertisements

Snapchat

I do have to say that I do like snapchat you know, but the way I am describing it is exactly what I think snapchat would be, so don’t fight me about it. Snapchat is 100% the really loud, blonde girl who can never be quiet. But like they aren’t rude or annoying, they just have a wee bit of ADHD that makes her really crazy. She is always doing new things and copies other people’s trends but still doesn’t make it a big deal. Like I only found out yesterday that it has a fake tiktok thing but we kind of move past it because it’s fine. Snapchat as a person would be hectic and up to date with everything and is the person you always find yourself running into for no reason and also has some sort of borderline personality disorder because she is always changing her personality. I also feel like, despite the fact she always seems happy and hyper, she also has a dark side where she can like hack into anything and get you anything you need. Where is Michael? Oh, well he is right here. OH MY and he is with your best friend Samantha and she didn’t tell you anything about it! Like that is defo who snapchat is. She loves to cause drama and just watch the world burn and somehow she never gets dragged into the mess.

Advertisements

Anyways, that is all for today guys because I just got another shift at work, but I mean I’m getting bank so it’s fine kind of but like it’s still minimum wage and the hours I work may or may not be illegal but like it’s fine… But yeah I’ll see you again tomorrow maybe and I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

Advertisements

Advertisements

Advertisements
Advertisements
One-Time
Monthly
Yearly

Make a one-time donation

Make a monthly donation

Make a yearly donation

Choose an amount

£3.00
£9.00
£60.00
£3.00
£9.00
£60.00
£3.00
£9.00
£60.00

Or enter a custom amount

£

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

DonateDonate monthlyDonate yearly
Advertisements

To All The TikTokers That Are Fighting Each Other…

Lately, since the whole Logan Paul and KSI fight or whoever it was, all tiktokers and youtubers have literally been fighting for no fucking reason. I mean at the start it was fun you know, like it was new and exciting, like a relationship. But also like a relationship, they get old and you realise the person you are with is quite stupid and irrelevant. You start to realise they are not actually interesting and you only liked them when it was new but now you realise they are not all that they seem. Who the fuck can actually keep up with all the fights going on? Like honestly I feel like I am back in primary school watch two kids flail their arms at each other and crying. Like it is really embarrassing and not the big of a deal. So what you can beat up another guy from the street? That literally doesn’t prove anything other than the fact you have no life so waste all your time training to win some shit contest.

Advertisements

To be honest though, I have grown to respect Logan Paul more because his brother, Jake Paul, is an actual twat. What the fuck was the whole “gotcha hat” shit. I mean where was the need? What mental health issues do you have to think that people would respect you for that? And then it meant he couldn’t watch his brothers match which he trained a lot for. I mean I still don’t watch Logan Paul because I am not a 10 year old boy, but at least he is more mature. And don’t even get me fucking started on fucking Bryce Hall! Like it frustrates me so much for some reason. He really thinks he is the bees knees and when he literally stuck up his middle fingers at the guy he was going to fight, it literally looked like he was going to shit himself, like literally shit himself. It just bugs me so much how they think people really care that much.

Advertisements

To be honest, I don’t even know a lot of the people who are fighting and that kinda just shows they are doing it for the publicity. It’s hardly like if Bryce won I would be like “yes, absolute dream boy I love him” because no, he is still a bad person. Like I don’t like him. When will they stop though for real. They aren’t professional and although I respect the determination, why don’t you just handle it some other way other than just making a fool of yourself. Just go back to the dis-tracks because at least those were funny and say what we all were thinking. Nobody cares if you can beat someone up or knock someone down when they are off guard and you look like a target employee, like literally grow up please. And I do know this will really annoy some people, mostly 10 year old kids, but like they are so annoying and it doesn’t get them anywhere. Why don’t they fight a real boxer who isn’t retired instead of either retired boxers, wrestlers or just random influencers. Make it make sense please.

Advertisements

Do you know what does crack me up about it though? The fact that they really think they are doing something! They really think they are adored and hilarious. Their egos are built up so high that people are beginning to climb up it and put fucking flags at the top. They really don’t need that. They think that whoever can scream the loudest and get their face closest to the camera are elite. They walk around as though they are about to take someones lunch money but I honestly think if they came up to me I could literally flick them and they would explode. End of the world? And at the interview after they act as though they didn’t just beat up a retired or unprofessional man. Like you really didn’t do much. They try to act like the pros as well. Jake Paul really does be trying to be Conor Mcgregor and it could be a comedy skit, no joke. To be fair, the acting is good but it is fucking obvious, so maybe get your own personality for once.

Advertisements

And just incase Jack Paul, Bryce Hall and whoever is dragged into this shit (apart from KSI and stuff who are actually respectful) reads this and gets worked up about it. I ain’t gonna fight you. Like you are defo gonna come to my house and start something but I don’t give a flying fuck bitch. I kinda hope they do read this though because that would be hilarious in all honesty. Watch them come out with a sad video called “I’m taking a mental health break” as though we are about to fall in love with them.

Advertisements

Anyways, this was kind of an immature post but I feel like I just needed it off my chest and that other’s will probably relate to it as well, but make sure to like, comment and follow if you enjoyed this and want more comedy content like this. Check out some of my other posts that are a bit different to this one and I will see you again tomorrow with a new post. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT

Advertisements

Advertisements

Advertisements

I’m not above a fight

See, I don’t really like it when people are cheeky to me. I mean you can be upfront and shout at me and I’ll be fine with that. My sisters have conditioned me to that. But if you are being passive aggressive or cheeky in front of me or behind my back, I won’t hesitate … Continue reading I’m not above a fight

Advertisements
One-Time
Monthly
Yearly

Make a one-time donation

Make a monthly donation

Make a yearly donation

Choose an amount

£3.00
£9.00
£60.00
£3.00
£9.00
£60.00
£3.00
£9.00
£60.00

Or enter a custom amount

£

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

DonateDonate monthlyDonate yearly
Advertisements