It’s a bit ironic to have a literal kid (who has no kids) talking about parenting, but like I was just on a walk and it was kind of an existential kind of day and I was just thinking about how fucked up that shit is and how scary that must bloody be. Like it just amazes me. Being an adult, in general, is just so bloody shocking. I think it’s because I am now one of the oldest years in the school and I remember being a literal first year and thinking they were so grown, but now that I am in that year, I really don’t know shit.

What if that is literally the same with becoming a parent. Obviously, it will make you grow up but like suddenly you have the responsibility of another life in your hands. I mean I can’t even sort my own life out and, while I am not planning on having kids any day soon, there are people my age that do and I just respect that so much because I can’t even imagine what that would be like. Surely even in your late 20’s or whenever you are kinda still a kid and trying to figure the world out. You have to learn how to manage your own shit and keep this human being alive. Surely everything you do is just a guess and it is pure luck that these kids survive. I mean sure you have your parents but still, parenting and life change every day so there are bound to be other things that you just have to go for.

And at what stage do we find out how to pay taxes, or how to buy a house, or how to plan and pay for a holiday? And also, when you have kids, when do you know to start giving them solid ‘real’ food? And what do you do when you need to register the existence of said baby? I’m gonna assume the hospital would help you with that but still, there is so much to figure you the day you leave the hospital. All of a sudden you are in the car with this baby in a seat you just about managed to install and your whole life ahead of you. There isn’t a bloody nurse following you or making sure the baby is ok. You are just completely on your own and it’s just you and your baby for the next 18 years.

Don’t get me wrong, they are freaking cute but surely there was a moment when you were pregnant or when they are literally birthed where you just had a major panic like “what the fuck! I can’t handle this for the rest of my life”. That happened to me when I got braces on and I thought it was gonna be so good and just quirky overall, but then the very first day I got them on, I was like “I want these off right now” and it was just that sort of sinking feeling where you just wish it was all a dream and I would wake up with perfectly straight teeth and no problems. But if you have a kid, that is the rest of your life and you can’t really change that. Sure there are some different options, but overall you will be left with some sort of emotional damage.

Don’t get me started on multiple kids. Even me and my sisters do my head in. I’m a twin as well so that’s double the horror all at once. It’s like picking a sweet out of a bowl thinking it’s an M’n’M but in reality, it is literally just shite. AND WHAT IF THERE ARE THREE. There is pretty much no way to avoid that type of situation and if they come out identical people will think you can’t parent because you can’t tell them apart. They literally all come out looking like the same slimy potato! So you can’t do much about it. I’m absolutely awful with names too so I would be inventive with one and then call the others B and C or some crap. Then I would have to remember the names and spell them right on the birth certificate and then try not to lose that.

There are just so many reliabilities in even the first day you get your kid. Their name can change their future and everything. Anything you say or do can make or break their future. What if I am a shite mum and never figure anything out. I can barely order my own food at a restaurant and I only just learnt how to do the washing. I have no clue how all you parents do it out and I haven’t even scratched the surface with this post. There is also having to relive school life, in some sort of way, and having to deal with their cheeky bitch faze. I hate myself at that faze, so how can I cope with someone else. You quite literally have to learn on the job and I feel like I always assumed parent’s had their shit sorted out, but I kinda think that you don’t think too differently to us (the teens) and you are still trying to work out how everything works and you are just panicking ever day.

Anyways, so now that all the new and expecting parents are terrified, I think this is a good place to stop. I really do respect everything that parents do and it is so hard to get that down in words because it is absolutely terrifying and crazy. I’m sure it’s blood rewarding too but you make it look so easy and I KNOW it most definitely is not. So please, can all the parents out there comment below your thoughts and opinions on parenting because obviously I am not, and will not be for a while, a parent. Don’t forget to like and follow for more. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.

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