I’m sorry, but between my last post and this one, we have literally gone through a war. That’s not even a joke sadly enough. Corona is kinda fading away (except the Queen has joined the Corona Club) but then we gotta keep the drama alive so we start into world war 3! Sounds like a fucking high school drama where someones always gotta go through some sort of shit. Honestly though what the fucking is going on? Just as we didn’t need to wear one type of face mask, we gonna start to need a whole other one. At this point, I’m ready for it. Do your worst I guess… ok I take that back but honestly, I’m not even phased. But let’s do a wee catch up for all the people who have tried to stay off the News. So, sorry, but it isn’t good news.
London Bridge is Falling Down
I heard that this is what they are supposed to say when the queen dies as their secret word or something (even though it obviously isn’t so secret at the moment) but before you panic I swear she isn’t dead or I haven’t heard so yet, but I just mean the queen is literally on her last leg. Fair play though because she’s probably sick of this shit. She’s probably like “war? Not this shit again” like honestly she has seen a lot of stuff I’ll tell you that for sure.
She literally had to use like a walking stick or something that probably cost as much as money as it would to end hunger in Africa. And obviously walking stick doesn’t equal literal death but I mean I wouldn’t be surprised honestly. And here she is with literal ‘rona. Whose head is about to be cut off though? That’s what I wanna know. I mean I’m sure she’s not out in the town on a Saturday night so someone had to bring it to her.
‘Rona’s Running Away
I don’t want to jinx it but I think we are coming out the other side! Like rona is kinda irrelevant now and I love that for us. Sure I still wear a face mask but honestly it doesn’t even bother me at this point. If anything I feel weird not having it because if I don’t then I feel like I’m missing something. That and I also feel like I don’t know what to do with my face anymore. Like kinda when you don’t know where to put your hands.
Actually though I heard from my sister that her friends friend was wearing a mask on the day that masks weren’t mandatory and this woman dead ass went up to her and was like “why are you wearing a mask! You don’t need to wear one!” bitch get the fuck outta my face though for real. Literally how weird. I mean if someone said that to me I don’t really know what I would do? Like maybe mind your own fucking business. If anything I’m glad to wear my mask so I can’t smell the shit coming out of your mouth. How funny is that though lol
Rona is definitely fading though and we can all start to remenise on what the hell actually happened. Literally though we just walked around as if this shit was normal but it isn’t. There was legit a shortage of toilet paper! What?! Literally mental. Can’t wait to dramatize it to my grandkids
The whole drama with Djokovic was actually a wee while ago but honestly I’m still kinda pissed for real. Like what is this idiocracy?! I mean you think you know someone then they turn out to be an idiot. Like these scientists work their asses off to fight this literal PANDEMIC and you sit there like “nah I don’t trust it though”! I’m not tryna be rude but you play fucking tennis for a living. I’m pretty sure they know what they are doing. Unless you have been living under a rock, I think it is quite obvious why we need the vaccine.
So yeah, all in all he didn’t get to play in his tennis match and I think he is kinda shunned from Australia or wherever he was when it happened. For real though you think a public figure would have a bit of sense to do the right thing. If it was more actual medical reasons that would be another story. Maybe it’s some sort of chemical imbalance in his head?
Coming Soon: World War III
Sorry but why is this becoming a series? like honestly where is the need. I know that you will all have heard about Russia invading the Ukraine and now the rest of the world is like “shit” because they probably need to get involved now. Honestly this is is a serious situation and if I try to make it sound any less serious than it is then I want you to know that it’s because I try to make jokes when I’m uncomfortable or actually feeling stuff, but I really do appreciate the danger of what is happening at the moment and I’m sorry if you are affected by it at the moment and hope it will all end soon.
Anyways, yeah, we’ve kinda jumped from one danger to the next honestly. Putin had too much time to think (or not think) in lockdown and that’s no lie. Like I really don’t get why wars happen. Obviously it’s a bit more difficult for literally countries to “talk it out” but like I’m pretty sure it doesn’t have to lead to the end of the world. And the fact the russian guy actually came out and said something like “if you try to stop me I will do something that you have never seen in history before”. Just what?! You’ve got me flipping though my history books tryna figure out what the fucking you gonna do but surely it can’t be a nuclear war? But nah that is what he means.
So you are telling me you got a secret bunker that will let you survive a nuclear bomb? But at what cost though? So you have control of the whole world which is literally just a few microorganisms? Like if you gonna whipe us all out at least tell me what you plan to do. Don’t villains usually have a whole monologue before they kill the person?
There have been a lot of “scares” about a world war 3 in the past years but that’s been from the most insignificant shit like Bo Jo’s hair was actually shaped like a w for 3 seconds or some English GCSE type crap.
But as a woman, I’m not sure if I should run to the battle field or to the kitchen. Like… it’s a conflict of interest honestly. I mean I’m willing to vote and do that stuff I am grateful for, but I’m not sure if they will appreciate my mental quirks on the battle field honestly. And legally I’m American but that doesn’t mean I want to use a gun you know?
I’m not sure if this type of shit happens every 100 years, but we gotta look at the facts honestly because they went through a whole ton of shit during the roaring 20’s. I wonder what they will call us? Maybe nothing because we’ll all be literally deceased. Who knows? So just to summarise, for all those who kinda just want to skip to the end… it’s every man to themselves at this point and may the odds be ever in your favour. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT.
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